John Newton's Letters
B; or, Grace in the Ear
"First the blade, then the ear, after that the
full corn in the ear." Mark 4:28
Dear Sir,
The manner of the Lord's work in the hearts of his people is not easily
traced; though the fact is certain, and the evidence demonstrable from
Scripture. In attempting to explain it, we can only speak in general, and
are at a loss to form such a description as shall take in the immense
variety of cases which occur in the experience of believers. I have already
attempted such a general delineation of a young convert, under the character
of 'A', and am now to speak of him by the name of 'B'.
This state I suppose to commence, when the soul, after an
interchange of hopes and fears, according to the different frames it passes
through, is brought to rest in Jesus, by a spiritual apprehension of his
complete suitableness and sufficiency, as the wisdom, righteousness,
sanctification, and redemption of all who trust in him, and is enabled by an
appropriating faith to say, "He is mine, and I am is." There are various
degrees of this persuasion; it is of a growing nature, and is capable of
increase so long as we remain in this world. I call it assurance,
when it arises from a simple view of the grace and glory of the Savior,
independent of our sensible frames and feelings, so as to enable us to
answer all objections, from unbelief and Satan, with the Apostle's words,
"Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died; yes rather, who is risen
again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for
us." Rom. 8:34. This, in my judgment, does not belong to the essence of
faith, so that 'B' should be deemed more truly a believer than 'A', but to
the establishment of faith. And now that faith is stronger, it has more to
grapple with.
I think the characteristic of the state of 'A' is desire,
and of 'B' is conflict. Not that B's desires have subsided, or that 'A' was
a stranger to conflict; but as there was a sensible eagerness and keenness
in A's desires, which, perhaps, is seldom known to be equally strong
afterwards, so there are usually trials and exercises in B's experience;
something different in their kind and sharper in their measure than what 'A'
was exposed to, or indeed had strength to endure. 'A', like Israel, has been
delivered from Egypt by great power and a stretched-out arm, has been
pursued and terrified by many enemies, has given himself up for lost again
and again. He has at last seen his enemies destroyed, and has sang the song
of Moses and the Lamb upon the banks of the Red Sea. Then he commences 'B'.
Perhaps, like Israel, he thinks his difficulties are at an end, and expects
to go on rejoicing until he enters the promised land. But, alas! his
difficulties are in a manner but beginning; he has a wilderness before him,
of which he is not aware. The Lord is now about to suit his dispensations to
humble and to prove him, and to show him what is in his heart, that he may
do him good at the latter end, and that all the glory may redound to his own
free grace.
Since the Lord hates and abhors sin, and teaches his
people whom he loves to hate it likewise, it might seem desirable (and all
things are equally easy to him), that at the same time they are delivered
from the guilt and reigning power of sin, they should likewise be perfectly
freed from the defilement of indwelling sin, and be made fully conformable
to him at once. His wisdom has, however, appointed otherwise. But, from the
above premises, of God's hatred of sin, and his love to his people, I think
we may certainly conclude, that he would not allow sin to remain in them, if
he did not purpose to over-rule it, for the fuller manifestation of the
glory of his grace and wisdom, and for the making his salvation more
precious to their souls.
It is, however, his command, and therefore their duty:
yes, further, from the new nature he has given them, it is their desire to
watch and strive against sin; and to propose the mortification of the whole
body of sin, and the advancement of sanctification in their hearts, as their
great and constant aim, to which they are to have a habitual persevering
regard. Upon this plan 'B' sets out. The knowledge of our acceptance with
God, and of our everlasting security in Christ, has in itself the same
tendency upon earth as it will have in heaven, and would, in proportion to
the degree of evidence and clearness, produce the same effects, of continual
love, joy, peace, gratitude, and praise, if there was nothing to counteract
it. But 'B' is not all spirit. A depraved nature still cleaves to
him; and he has the seeds of every natural corruption yet remaining in his
heart. He lives likewise in a world that is full of snares, and occasions,
suited to draw forth those corruptions; and he is surrounded by invisible
spiritual enemies, the extent of whose power and subtlety he is yet to learn
by painful experience. 'B' knows, in general, the nature of his Christian
warfare, and sees his right to live upon Jesus for righteousness and
strength. He is willing to endure hardships as a good soldier of Jesus
Christ; and believes, that, though he may be sore thrust at that he may
fall, the Lord will be his stay. He knows, that his heart is "deceitful and
desperately wicked;" but he does not, he cannot, know at first, the full
meaning of that expression.
Yet it is for the Lord's glory, and will in the end make
his grace and love still more precious, that 'B' should find new and
mortifying proofs of all evil nature as he goes on, such as he could not
once have believed had they been foretold to him, as in the case of Peter,
Mark 14:29. And, in effect, the abominations of the heart do not appear in
their full strength and aggravation, but in the case of one who, like 'B',
has tasted that the Lord is gracious, and rejoiced in his salvation.
The exceeding sinfulness of sin is manifested, not so
much by its breaking through the restraint of threatening and commands, as
by its being capable of acting against light and against love. Thus it was
with Hezekiah. He had been a faithful and zealous servant of the Lord for
many years; but I suppose he knew more of God, and of himself, in the time
of his sickness, than he had ever done before. The Lord, who had signally
defended him from Sennacherib, was pleased likewise to raise him from the
borders of the grave by a miracle, and prolonged the time of his life in
answer to prayer. It is plain, from the song which he penned upon his
recovery, that he was greatly affected with the mercies he had received; yet
still there was something in his heart which he knew not, and which it was
for the Lord's glory he should be made sensible of, and therefore he was
pleased to leave him to himself. It is the only instance in which he is said
to have been left to himself, and the only instance in which his conduct is
condemned.
I apprehend, that, in the state of 'B', that is, for a
season after we have known the Lord, we have usually the most sensible and
distressing experience of our evil natures. I do not say, that it is
necessary that we should be left to fall into gross outward sin, in order to
know what is in our hearts; though I believe many have thus fallen, whose
hearts, under a former sense of redeeming love, have been as truly set
against sin, as the hearts of others who have been preserved from such
outward falls. The Lord makes some of his children examples and warnings to
others, as he pleases. Those who are spared, and whose worst deviations are
only known to the Lord and themselves, have great reason to be thankful. I
am sure I have: the merciful Lord has not allowed me to make any
considerable blot in my profession during the time I have been numbered
among his people. But I have nothing to boast of herein. It has not been
owing to my wisdom, watchfulness, or spirituality, though in the main he has
not allowed me to live in the neglect of his appointed means. But I hope to
go softly all my days under the remembrance of many things, for which I have
as great cause to be abased before him, as if I had been left to sin
grievously in the sight of men. Yet, with respect to my acceptance in the
Beloved, I know not if I have had a doubt of a quarter of an hour's
continuance for many years past. But, oh! the multiplied instances of
stupidity, ingratitude, impatience, and rebellion, to which my conscience
has been witness! And as every heart knows its own bitterness, I have
generally heard the like complaints from others of the Lord's people with
whom I have conversed, even from those who have appeared to be eminently
gracious and spiritual.
'B' does not meet with these things perhaps at first, nor
every day. The Lord appoints occasions and turns in life, which try our
spirits. There are particular seasons when temptations are suited to our
frames, tempers, and situations; and there are times when he is pleased to
withdraw, and to permit Satan's approach, that we may feel how vile we are
in ourselves. We are prone to spiritual pride, to self-dependence, to
vain confidence, to creature attachments, and a train of evils. The Lord
often discovers to us one sinful disposition by exposing us to another. He
sometimes shows us what he can do for us and in us; and at other times how
little we can do, and how unable we are to stand without him.
By a variety of these exercises, through the over-ruling
and edifying influences of the Holy Spirit, 'B' is trained up in a growing
knowledge of himself and of the Lord. He learns to be more distrustful of
his own heart, and to suspect a snare in every step he takes. The dark and
disconsolate hours which he has brought upon himself in times past, make him
doubly prize the light of God's countenance, and teach him to dread whatever
might grieve the Spirit of God, and cause him to withdraw again. The
repeated and multiplied pardons which he has received, increase his
admiration of, and the sense of his obligations to, the rich sovereign
abounding mercy of the covenant. Much has been forgiven him, therefore he
loves much, and therefore he knows how to forgive and pity others. He does
not call evil good, or good evil; but his own experiences teach him
tenderness and forbearance. He exercises a spirit of meekness towards those
who are overtaken in a fault; and his attempts to restore such, are
according to the pattern of the Lord's dealings with himself.
In a word, B's character, in my judgment, is complete;
and he becomes a 'C', when the habitual frame of his heart answers to that
passage in the Prophet Eze. 16:63; "That you may remember, and be
confounded, and never open your mouth any more (to boast, complain, or
censure), because of your shame, when I am pacified towards you for all that
you have done, says the Lord God."