Love to Our Neighbor

Edward Griffin (1770—1837)
 

Matthew 22:35-40
"One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"

Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

In love to God and man, consists all the religion of the Old Testament and the New. As far as any religion has this character it is genuine, whatever errors and imperfections may attend it. As far as any religion lacks this character it is spurious, however correct may be the creed and conduct of its professors. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3, "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, it profits me nothing."

Zeal itself is nothing better than strange fire any further than it is enkindled by love.

Is it tinctured with bitterness towards men of opposite opinions?

Is it proud?

Does it irritate rather than allay the sinful passions?

It is nothing but animal nature excited. Animal nature, heated by party spirit, and blown by the breath of spiritual pride—may be kindled into fervent zeal, even when there is little or no love to God or man. These impure ingredients are too often mixed with the zeal of those who are really pious—those especially who have warm and hopeful constitutions. It may be admitted as an everlasting maxim, that the less our religion is shaped by our natural temperament, the more supernatural and pure it is.

Scarcely any human propensity reveals itself more in matters of religion, than a disposition to sunder the two tables of the law which God has joined together. A great portion of the Christian world, though split into different parties and called by various names, may be reduced to two classes:

those who place their religion too exclusively in love to man,

those who place it too exclusively in love to God.

The former class, neglectful of the duties of private devotion, and inattentive to their affections to their Creator and Redeemer, place all their religion in moral honesty, alms-giving, and decent manners, added perhaps to a formal acknowledgment of God in the acts of public worship.

The latter class, though full of devotion and zeal towards God, are neglectful of their duties to their neighbors. If they are not deficient in moral honesty, at least their fellowship with men is strongly marked with selfishness. If they do not neglect the social and civil duties which are cardinal, they are too inattentive to the feelings of others, and too desirous to please themselves in the adjustment of numberless little circumstances which constitute a great part of the happiness or misery of social life. They habitually withhold many attentions which love should not fail to render. When the gratification of their own wills or propensities comes in competition with the wishes of others, as daily happens in many trivial matters, their pleasure must be consulted and their neighbor's pleasure disregarded. If they happen to differ from others on the topics of ordinary conversation, they are always in the right, and they maintain their opinions with an obstinacy and an ambition to triumph in the argument which is no wise consistent with loving their neighbors as themselves.

They are sociable or silent as their own whims, and not as the feelings of others, dictate. If they are not bitter and censorious, they are at least untender and uncandid towards those who differ from them in opinion. They claim to love God, but they have little or no love to man.

Now these two kinds of religion equally separate the two tables of the law. Both are defective. Where love to both God and man is not found, there is no true love to either. On the one hand, that heart which "is enmity against God," has no sanctified affections of any kind. Its social affections are nothing more than the natural feelings which are common to infidels and pagans, and in some measure to brutes. How can there be a principle of pure benevolence which refuses to love the Father of the universe, who comprehends in himself infinitely the greatest portion of all existence? Those who neglect the first table of the law and place all their religion in the duties of the second, never perform even these otherwise than in a superficial, heartless manner: and who does not know that external actions without the heart are dead—the body without the soul?

On the other hand, "If a man say, I love God, and hates his brother, he is a liar: for he who loves not his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?" "Whoever hates his brother is a murderer; and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him." We cannot "bless God" with the same tongue with which we "curse men."

That love to God which is not accompanied with love to our neighbor, is not genuine. True love to God contains a principle of good will to all intelligent beings, and of peculiar affection to those who bear his image. There is a selfish love to God as a benefactor and friend, which leaves the mind as sour towards men as ever. Love to men is one of the best tests of genuine love to God.

But even where love to God is sincere, there is danger that while engaged in contemplating our obligations to him, we shall overlook the attentions which we owe to men. We must reflect much on the second great command, in order to prevent our religion from becoming unsocial and severe. Real love is not an unsocial principle. The sweet flow of affection towards all men which appears in revivals of religion, especially among those in whom the love of God is new and ardent, evinces this.

My present design is to treat of love to our neighbor; in doing which I shall describe perfection which I never reached; but the law of God is not the less binding for our defects.

We are required to love our neighbor as ourselves. Who then is our neighbor? Every child of Adam—those who are to us what the Samaritans were to the Jews—those who have a different religion, who are strangers and natural enemies. These are our neighbors according to Christ's own instruction in the parable of the good Samaritan. Wherever there is man, there is our neighbor.

Love to our neighbor is a principle of universal good will and kindness; a disposition to desire, and as far as we are able to promote—the temporal and spiritual prosperity of all men; to "do good" to "all" as we have—opportunity," "especially" to "the house-hold of faith."

"Charity is kind." Charity is a principle far more pure and elevated than any of the natural affections, and is essentially different from the friendships of the world—from all friendships founded on a similarity of natural tastes, community of interests, or interchange of favors. Its objects are both persons and characters; and to both it is just and impartial. It loves persons according to their greatness and the distinctness with which they are contemplated. It loves the divine image by whoever reflected, in proportion to the clearness with which it is seen. Where charity is combined with natural affection or natural friendship, there is a greater amount of affection, but the excess is natural affection only, and not sanctified love.

But what is it to love our neighbor as ourselves? It implies two things:
that our love to ourselves is properly regulated, and
that our love to our neighbor is regulated by that.

We are not required to love our neighbor as we in fact love ourselves, but as we ought to love ourselves. If our love both to ourselves and others was properly regulated, we should love our neighbor as ourselves; that is, we should feel and act towards others as we should wish them to feel and act towards us. This explanation I borrow from Christ himself. "All things whatever you would that men should do to you, do you even so to them; for this [take notice,] is the law and the prophets." That is, this is all that the law and the prophets require in relation to our neighbor; in other words, this is all that is required in the latter of those two commandments on which "hang all the law and the prophets."

But the question still returns. How should we in that case desire others to feel and act towards us? I answer, as affectionately and kindly as perfect love can feel and act towards another. We could not desire more. Still the question returns, Could a man, in the exercise of perfect love, be as interested in the happiness of another as in his own? In many cases, we know, men are bound, and are ready, to deny themselves for the benefit of others, and to forget themselves in their solicitude for their neighbor's good. Christians may be called "to lay down" their "lives for the brethren." So far is clear. On the other hand, our own interest is especially committed to our care, and is more immediately under our eye. I may add, we are more conscious of our own sensations than of the sensations of others, and can be more sensible of the value of happiness when it is connected with our own consciousness, than when it belongs to another. There is also an innocent self-love on our own side, to balance the benevolence which we feel for others but cannot feel for ourselves. But we are so little acquainted with the feelings of perfect beings that we ought not to be too positive on this subject.

One thing however is certain: we cannot in practice, whatever we may do in theory, carry the genuine love of our neighbor to excess. We may indeed do so much for one as to defraud another, and so much for a part as to contract our usefulness to the whole: but we cannot do too much for our fellow men in general. If by our exertions we destroy our health, this is limiting the good which we might have done to others as a whole.

Another thing is certain: we must extend to our neighbor an affection which has the same general qualities with that which we bear to ourselves; tender, constant, persevering love. Whenever we think of him, though we have nothing to say or do, our hearts must go forth in real love and sincere wishes for his happiness. Be he a stranger, be he a supporter of opinions opposite to our own, be he an enemy, or in one word, be he a Samaritan, he is still our neighbor. We must regard his errors and sins, even when they are pointed against ourselves, without any of the censoriousness or bitterness either of party spirit or personal resentment, but with real compassion. Whatever of Christ he has, we must love and honor, however he may oppose and vilify us. Whatever of sin he has, we must be ready to forgive. "Love your enemies; bless them that curse you; do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you." Whatever provocations we meet with, we must never allow a feeling to rise towards any person but what is consistent with the kindest wishes for his happiness. If we feel indignation, it must be because he has sinned against God. But we may not wish him evil nor rejoice at his calamities. We may indulge no personal ill will, no malice, no revenge, no anger, peevishness, or impatience. A Christian "must not" "be" "soon angry." "Whoever is angry with his brother without a cause, shall be in danger of the judgment."

"Charity suffers long—is not easily provoked—bears all things—endures all things." "If you have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descends not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. But the wisdom that is from above is peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated." "The servant of the Lord must not strive, but be gentle unto all men—patient," "showing all meekness unto all men." "Resist not evil; but whoever shall smite you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue you at the law and take away your coat, let him have your cloak also. And whoever shall compel you to go a mile, go with him two miles."

"Only by pride comes contention." Pride must not be allowed to set up claims in opposition to the rights of others. There must be no rivalship, no contention for influence, no "vain glory," no aspiring desires to outdo or outshine another for the sake of being his superior—no vanity, no boasting, no envy. "Let nothing be done through strife or vain glory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves."

"Charity envies not; charity does not boast, it is not puffed up." "Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love, in honor preferring one another;" taking "the lowest room." There must be no impatience of contradiction, no obstinacy in maintaining opinions. The man of God must not be self-willed."

"Charity thinks no evil." It indulges no evil surmisings against a neighbor. It gives the most favorable construction to all his doubtful actions. It imputes no bad design where it is possible to suppose another. It never construes the actions or designs of others in a way which bespeaks anything but perfect benevolence. "Judge not that you be not judged."

"Charity hopes all things." It hopes the best of every man and of all his professions. Yet charity is not blind, nor does it believe against evidence. It does not think all men Christians. It does not credit a profession of religion which is contradicted either by the life or the creed. I know it has become fashionable to use the word charity as synonymous with a good opinion of others. But this is a dangerous abuse of the term. Charity has no such meaning in the Bible. There it is only another name for love.

So far as we are under the influence of love, we shall not be more keen-sighted to discern the failings of others than to discover our own. We shall not behold "the mote" in our "brother's eye" and be insensible of "the beam" that is in our own.

Charity is tender of a neighbor's good name. It will "speak evil of no man." It banishes all tale-bearing, backbiting, and slander. Charity never speaks of another but in a manner consistent with the purest benevolence. "In" its "tongue is the law of kindness." It indulges no complaints against others which betray more feelings for self than justice and truth.

We must never speak to another but in a manner consistent with the purest love. We must not render "railing for railing." We must never blame another in a manner expressive of the slightest evil passion or the least desire to inflict needless pain. No impatient expression should escape us. "Whoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the counsel; but whoever shall say, You fool, shall be in danger of Hell fire." We may never utter an expression, whether dictated by anger or pride, which is calculated unnecessarily to wound the feelings of another. We may never direct a point of wit against another which we should not be willing to receive ourselves.

Our actions should never betray anything contrary to good will. Neither by conduct nor manners nor looks nor the modulation of the voice, should we unnecessarily wound the feelings of another. The love required is a spirit of unselfishness, ready to consult the feelings of others rather than our own, in words, looks, deportment, and in a thousand nameless attentions which love never fails to prompt—not indeed to increase our own popularity, but to communicate happiness. As little as we know of the feelings of perfect benevolence, we may see how love expresses itself in all these ways towards our friends or our children, even when we disapprove of their conduct; and in this way we may form some idea how perfect love would act towards all men. We ought to exercise a tender regard to the feelings of others. "Christ pleased not himself." "Charity—seeks not her own." "Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others." We should consult the feelings of others rather than our own in regard to topics of conversation, and in efforts to keep up conversation. There should be nothing neglectful either in our feelings or conduct, nothing disobliging, nothing churlish, nothing unsociable, nothing like abandoning society. Without civil looks, words, and manners, we do not exert ourselves, "as much as lies in" us, to "live peaceably with all men." In cases where conscience will allow, we should give others their choice instead of insisting on having our own. In all little things where there is a preference, it is going on the safe side to give it to others. In all these respects true religion coincides with true politeness.

"The wisdom that is from above is without partiality." We must not be partial in our attentions to particular friends whose taste accords with our own, to the neglect of others who have equal claims upon us. This would be to grieve others for the sake of pleasing ourselves. In these things we must avoid the undue influence of private feelings and bring them into subjection to duty. The less we are influenced by natural feelings and the more we are governed by a sense of duty, the safer will our conduct be. Though we must honor those "to whom honor" "is due," such as civil and ecclesiastical officers, and must render different degrees of respect to men according to their different ages, stations, and qualifications; yet in religious matters, especially in ecclesiastical trials, we must make no distinction founded on circumstances foreign to religion. "My brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, with respect of persons. For if there come into your assembly a man with a gold ring in goodly apparel, and there come in also a poor man in vile clothing, and you have respect to him that wears the mirthful clothing, and say unto him, Sit here in a good place, and say to the poor, Stand you there, or, Sit here under my footstool; are you not then partial in yourselves? If you fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, You shall love your neighbor as yourself, you do well: but if you have respect to persons, you commit sin."

"The wisdom that is from above is without hypocrisy." In accordance with the spirit of the ninth commandment, there must be nothing false, nothing insincere, in our fellowship with men. The best way to avoid insincerity in those numerous compliments and professions which custom has sanctioned, is actually to feel all the good will and love which they express.

"The wisdom that is from above is peaceable." It will strive to heal without delay all breaches between ourselves and others. "If you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has anything against you; leave then your gift before the altar and go your way, first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift." Love will leave no means untried to make peace among neighbors. "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God."

The love required will render us strictly just in all our dealings. Not only will it prevent us, according to the spirit of the eighth commandment, from screwing from our neighbor what justly belongs to him; but, according to the tenor of the tenth commandment, it will restrain us from coveting what is his. We must have two selves for parties in every contract, and mete such measure as we are willing to receive. "Let no man seek his own, but every man another's wealth." "Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others."

The love required will certainly prevent us from leading others into sin, or even desiring to bring guilt on them for the sake of gratifying ourselves.

"The wisdom that is from above is—full of mercy and good fruits." It is generous and bountiful. It is "given to hospitality." It is compassionate to the distressed and charitable to the poor. It is liberal in support of public institutions. It is beneficent to the full extent of its ability. Among the various commands which it contemplates, it is sure not to overlook such as these: Give to him that asks you, and from him that would borrow of you turn not you away." "Sell that you have and give alms: provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that fails not." "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust does corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: but lay up for yourselves treasures in Heaven." "When you make a dinner or a supper, call not your friends nor your brethren, neither your kinsmen nor your rich neighbors; lest they bid you again and a recompense be made you. But when you make a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind; and you shall be blessed; for they cannot recompense you; for you shall be recompensed at the resurrection of the just." All these beneficent actions must be done from pure love, and not to be seen of men.

The love required will, according to the spirit of the fifth commandment, "be subject to principalities and powers" and "obey magistrates." It will "render—honor to whom honor" is due, "fear to whom fear," "tribute to whom tribute." It will be respectful to superiors, condescending to inferiors, kind to equals, affable and obliging to all. It will faithfully and affectionately perform what is due to parents and children, husbands and wives, brethren and sisters. It will regulate all our natural affections.

Love to our neighbor will awaken a desire for the advancement of the Redeemer's kingdom and the salvation of men. We should long and labor for this object, as well from tender love to the souls of men—of men whom we never saw—as from a regard to the glory of God. To one who feels a fervent love to God and man, there appears no opposition between these two motives. Indeed as they stand before the eye they coalesce and become one.

Love excludes party spirit from religion. Though it distinguishes between truth and error, between the clean and the unclean, its aim is not to build up a party, but to promote the knowledge and enjoyment of God among all men. There may be as much private interest in religious parties as in polical sects, and as much selfishness and rancor in each as in the miser or the assassin. Instead of calling down fire on the Samaritans, we must regard them as our neighbors, and love them as we love ourselves.

Finally, love will excite us to pray for the temporal and spiritual prosperity of all men. "I exhort that first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men; for kings and for all that are in authority." If we would find deliverance from our own troubles, we must pray for others. "The Lord turned the captivity of Job when he prayed for his friends." We must pray for others if we would love them more fervently, and thus improve the temper of our own hearts. On this subject I shall quote the language of an eminent divine:

"There is nothing that makes us love a man so much as praying for him; and when you can once do this sincerely for any man, you have fitted your soul for the performance of everything that is kind and civil towards him. This will fill your heart with a generosity and tenderness that will give you a better and sweeter behavior than anything that is called fine breeding and good manners.

"By considering yourself as an advocate with God for your neighbors and acquaintance, you would never find it hard to be at peace with them. It would be easy for you to bear with and forgive those for whom you particularly implored the divine mercy and forgiveness.

"Such prayers as these among neighbors and acquaintance, would unite them to one another in the strongest bonds of love and tenderness. It would exalt and ennoble their souls, and teach them to consider one another in a higher state, as members of a spiritual society that are created for the enjoyment of the common blessings of God, and fellow heirs of the same future glory.

"And by being thus desirous that every one should have their full share of the favors of God, they would not only be content but glad to see one another happy in the little enjoyments of this transitory life.

"Ouranius is a holy minister, full of the spirit of the Gospel; watching, laboring, and praying for a poor country village. Every soul in it is as dear to him as himself—because he prays for them all as often as he prays for himself.

"If his whole life is one continued exercise of great zeal and labor, hardly ever satisfied with any degrees of care and watchfulness, 'tis because he has learned the great value of souls by so often appearing before God as an intercessor for them.

"He goes about his parish and visits every body in it, but visits in the same spirit of piety that he preaches to them. He visits them to encourage their virtues—to discover their manner of life, and to know the state of their souls, that he may intercede with God for them according to their particular necessities.

"When Ouranius first entered into the ministry, he had a haughtiness in his temper, a great contempt and disregard for all foolish and unreasonable people. But he has prayed away this spirit, and has now the greatest tenderness for the most obstinate sinners; because he is always hoping that God will, sooner or later, hear those prayers that he makes for their repentance.

"The rudeness, ill nature, or perverse behavior of any of his flock, used at first to betray him into impatience; but it now raises no other passion in him than a desire of being upon his knees in prayer to God for them.

"Thus have his prayers for others altered and amended the state of his own heart.

"It would strangely delight you to see with what spirit he converses, with what tenderness he reproves, with what affection he exhorts, and with what vigor he preaches: and 'tis all owing to this; because he reproves, exhorts, and preaches to those for whom he first prays to God."

Thus, my hearers, I have described as well as I was able, the love to our neighbor which the divine law requires. This is that charity to men about which we hear so much, but which appears to be little understood and still less practiced.

Methinks I hear some exclaim: What tame and spiritless characters would such a religion form: there would be no men of letters, no poets, no orators, no statesmen. But tell me, was Jesus of Nazareth so tame? Was not he who spoke as never man spoke, eloquent? Was not Isaiah a poet? Were not Moses and Solomon statesmen? Have you ever considered the fervor, activity, and eloquence of the apostle Paul? Do you know any who in these respects surpass the holy angels? Indeed what other temper has God himself? Had we perfect love, we should do what is good and excellent "with all our might," because it is commanded: and that which is not good and excellent we ought to leave undone. If so much care for our feelings, words, and actions would check the boldness and ardor of eloquence, or in any degree moderate our decision of character, it would prove that these have been supported by wrong principles. Let them then be checked, until divine love, coming in the place of wrong affections, makes us active, eloquent, and decided, as "the enrapt seraph that adores and burns."

I am awed into reverence as I approach the religion of Christ. What a pure and exalted system of morals it presents. The Bible is the only book on earth that draws a perfect character. This sublime morality of loving God with all the heart and our neighbor as ourselves—how infinitely superior to the sordid selfishness of heathen systems. What are your Senecas and your Platos but glow worms by the side of the meridian sun? This is the religion which makes men truly good and great. This is the religion which would make a happy world. The harmony and blessedness of Heaven are nothing more. Let men universally love the Lord their God with all their hearts and their neighbor as themselves, and you may remove your prisons and your stocks; you have done with courts of justice: all animosities are extracted from the human heart, and nothing but peace and love and universal happiness remains.

We now see why so many professors walk in darkness and are oppressed with doubts. It is because their religion is so little in accordance with the word of God. They cannot but see this contrariety whenever they open their Bibles. Many things which are there required they do not find in themselves; many things which are there forbidden they do find to their sorrow. They have "a form of godliness," and perhaps a zeal; but if they possess any of the religion of love, it is but a spark buried under the ashes of their idol altars.

The way to obtain "the full assurance of hope," is to have more love to God and man; to bring all our habits of feeling, conversing, and living, under the control of this principle; to go through all our habits with a scrutinizing eye, to correct whatever is wrong, and to confirm whatever is right; making it a matter of conscience daily and hourly to act, in small matters as well as great, from a sacred regard to the will of God.

In the light of our subject we discover the strictness of the service which God requires. "Strait is the gate and narrow is the way which leads unto life." The charity which I have described is very far from that latitudinarian principle which makes the way broad enough for a whole world to go. It is a principle of strict and scrupulous holiness. "Sir," said a worldly man to Mr. Rogers, (the first martyr in queen Mary's reign,) "I like your company, but you are so strict." "Ah, Sir," said Mr. Rogers, "I serve, a strict God."

We see from our subject that the law of God "is exceeding broad," even if we look only at that part which respects our neighbor. As a whole it extends to every moral action, word, thought, and feeling. How impossible to present a righteousness of our own which this law will accept. Mere law can accept none but a perfect righteousness. "By the deeds of the law" therefore "there shall no flesh be justified." From this tribunal we must appeal to the throne of grace, and rest for justification on the perfect righteousness of the Redeemer. As we contemplate the requirements of the law, we see at once our absolute need of the righteousness of Christ. But unless we are his disciples by faith, his righteousness can avail us nothing. And we are not his disciples unless we pant after holiness, and watch and pray and diligently use the appointed means of grace. We must reach forth after a greater and still greater conformity to the divine law. "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled."