How to Make a Child into a Delinquent in 12 Easy Steps

(This list is thought to have been prepared over fifty years ago by a police captain.)

1. Begin at infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way, he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.

2. When he picks up bad language, laugh at him. This will make him think he's cute.

3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is twenty-one, and then let him "decide for himself".

4. Avoid using the word "wrong". It may develop a guilt feeling. This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him and he is being persecuted.

5. Pick up everything he leaves lying around: books, shoes, clothes. Do everything for him so that he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility on others.

6. Let him read any printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized—but let his mind feast on garbage.

7. Quarrel frequently in the presence of your child. In this way they will not be too shocked when the home is broken up later.

8. Give a child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you had them?

9. Satisfy every craving for food, drink, and comfort. See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may lead to harmful frustration.

10. Take your child's part against neighbors, teachers, and policemen. They are prejudiced against your child.

11. When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, "I never could do anything with him!"

12. Prepare for a life of grief. You will be likely to have it.