To Miss M., November 17, 1854.
My beloved friend,
I must first thank you for your last kind note, which was very sweet and
refreshing. It is a privilege to hear of the triumph of faith, when flesh
and sense would say, "All these things are against me." I do not know the
lady you mention—but rejoice to hear of her testimony for the Lord, and am
also thankful that it proved encouraging to you.
All the ways of the Lord are right ways, and we lose much
sweetness for lack of resignation to His will in all things. While we fret
against the Cross, it is felt the heavier. I believe, too, that we are
losers by not receiving all events as from Him. By looking at second causes
we come into great perplexity; and whatever creatures may intend against us,
our Heavenly Father has some high purpose of grace in all that He allows to
befall us. He could prevent every apparent wrong, and He would, were not
each bitter in our cup essential for His own glory and our real profit.
The assurance of this has been very healing to my spirit many times under
blights and losses, and also under mental wounds from those dear to me. I
feel there is some personal lesson in all these things; and often, when I
would have felt ready to censure the instrument, I have discovered some
pride or other lurking evil in myself, which the Lord aimed at by the
troubling circumstance, intending by His Spirit to bring it to light and
rebuke it. Thus has my mouth been stopped, and brought to kiss the hand
which held the rod, however inexcusable in itself that rod might be.
Also, when the heart is thus humbled, the wrong of others
against us seems but secondary to our own, albeit ours may be against the
Lord only. Oh, let us seek to be so instructed of the Lord that the rod and
reproof may give wisdom. Let us aim at confiding love in Him, for He is
infinite wisdom, and needs none of our interference.
If, too, the Lord severely tries our faith, it is only to
manifest Himself afresh as Jehovah Jireh (Jehovah will provide), or Jehovah
Rophi (Jehovah our healer), or Jehovah Tsidkenu (Jehovah our righteousness),
or under some other blessed covenant name, which is to be seen more brightly
in the dark place. Moreover, if He takes away our Isaacs, it is only to
make more room for Himself; and if He lessens our earthly store, it is only
that we may live more immediately upon Himself. I want grace and faith
to walk with Him when He walks against my flesh, not for destruction—but for
salvation. "Whoever is wise, and will observe these things, even they shall
understand the loving-kindness of the Lord." I am very fond of the word
"understand" in that verse, because I am very sure we often misconceive the
Lord's loving-kindness; and, judging by sense and carnal reason, think it is
unkindness, when in truth He is in love drawing us nearer to Himself. And
oh! is it not worth everything to be near Him, and to hear Him say, "You are
ever with me, and all that I have is yours!" His heart of love, His life of
obedience, His death and sufferings, His triumphant resurrection and
ascension, His intercession, His glory--all are ours! And, what is best of
all, He Himself is ours! For the glory of His person outmatches all that He
has done, and to know for myself that "my beloved is mine" is a taste of the
fullness of bliss!
Well, my beloved friend, the dark steps we were noticing
above are just the way by which the Lord often leads His children on to this
blessedness. They do not generally reach it all at once, though some receive
the white stone much sooner than others—but many have to travel the barren
land of deserts and of pits, to wander in a solitary way, to have their
hearts made desolate and their earthly substance blighted, before Christ is
revealed in them as their all—as the hope and the foretaste of glory. Well,
it matters not how, if we do but come to know Him as ours in power and
preciousness; and to this I doubt not you shall be brought, though often the
way may seem long and your steps be weary.
The cost and consequences of the journey rest not with
you. All the weight of it is upon Him who has said to His Father, "I will be
surety for them, of my hand shall you require them: if I bring them not unto
You, and set them before You, then let me bear the blame forever." Ever
precious Jesus, so able, so willing to bear all the burden of all who come
unto Him! If you have nothing in yourself to encourage you, which I am sure
you have not, there is plenty in Him, for with Him is mercy and plenteous
redemption. May the Spirit enable you to be coming, coming, ever coming unto
Him; so will your faith grow, and your great enemy, unbelief, be trodden
down. (See Micah 7:19) Fear not, the Lord will help you, He will strengthen
you, He will deliver you. "God shall help her, and that right early." (Psalm
46:5)
I had not thought of writing so much without mentioning
dear Mr. D—but have been unexpectedly led on. I gave your remembrance to
him, and his kind heart was grieved at your disappointment. He said how much
he wished to see you—but could not; and he often trembled when made useful
to anyone, lest they should look to him, and then he knew something would
come to disappoint and pain them. This is much what you express. The Lord
seal the instruction, and teach us how to look through, and not to, the
dearest instruments, that they may never come between our souls and Him! I
much enjoy what I have read of the ancient philosopher who declined the
riches and honors offered to him by the emperor, saying, he "desired nothing
so much of him as that he would stand out of the sunshine." And so would I
say to every creature and everything, "Pray stand from between me and the
sun; eclipse not the glory of my Beloved, hide Him not in the least from my
view, and let Him give or withhold what He pleases, so I may but enjoy
Himself." This is the language of the new heart. The old heart is a very
treacherous dealer, and when conferred with, brings on the doleful cry, "My
leanness, my leanness;" but "the elder shall serve the younger," this is the
cheering promise.
We have had Mr. H— here also. His testimony was clear,
faithful, and savory. I think you would have enjoyed much the Sabbath
morning from "I am the Lord that heals you." Mr. H— spoke of the leprosy and
its cure, as a striking type of our soul malady; also of diseases we are
subject to after a sense of pardon and healing. Faith is subject to
paralysis; it gets weak and shaky, the soul looking more at self than
Jesus—but of this disease "I am the Lord that heals you;" our love sometimes
takes cold, no warmth or fervor felt; a sense of His love is the healing of
ours, "who heals all your diseases."
But I must close this long note. Like you, I feel more
anxious for health of soul than of body, that the life I live in the flesh
may be by the faith of the Son of God, and that I may not live upon
evidences and feelings—but upon Him alone by faith. Thus will evidences and
feelings be kept fresh and lively; whereas while we seek to rest in them
they must be withheld, that so we may trust in Jesus only.
In Him and His precious love I am ever yours
affectionately,
Ruth