"Peace be unto you. Fear not--you shall not die."
To Miss M., April 1850.
My dear miss M.,
Grace and peace be with you, and may the God of consolation shortly fill you
with joy and peace in believing. May He turn your eyes away from the
mystery of iniquity within--to the great mystery of godliness, God
manifest in the flesh, stretched upon the cross for you, redeeming you from
the deserved curse of the law by being made a curse for you, bearing your
very sins (which seem to you greater than any other) in His own body on the
tree. This is the only sight which can heal your wounded heart and bring
rest to your weary, laboring spirit. You are bowed down with the burden of
sin, even as the poor woman was with the infirmity wherewith Satan had bound
her for eighteen years, and, like her, you are unable to lift up yourself.
It must be a power outside of yourself that shall loose you from your heavy
burden and bitter bondage.
Poor heart! you are hopeless and helpless unless "the
Deliverer" appears on your behalf; and He will do it, for He never said to
the seed of Jacob, "Seek me in vain." You are seeking Him and His favor, and
you think you shall never find it; but "His thoughts are not as your
thoughts," for "as the heavens are higher than the earth," so are His
thoughts and ways above yours. You look at your own deservings, and judge by
things seen and felt. He judges righteous judgment, and has found a wondrous
way in which He can honorably deal with you according to the deservings of
another.
O my beloved friend, how will your heart leap and your
tongue sing when this secret is opened to you in power! How will your burden
fall off when you get a faith view of the cross and of the precious
Sufferer there! These words, perhaps, seem now to you like idle tales as
regards your personal experience, and you believe them not with any
comforting application. "Power belongs unto God," but truly I can believe on
your behalf, and have no doubt you will be as a brand plucked from the
burning, a trophy of redeeming love, a jewel in my Savior's crown, and that
as chief sinners we shall before long sing together, "Where sin abounded,
grace did much more abound!"
You may perhaps say, "You cannot know how bad I am, or
you would not feel so sure." And you do not know how bad I am,
or you would not think yourself worse. The arm that reached me (low
indeed in the pit of corruption) can reach you! The blood that
cleansed me can cleanse you! The love that sealed my pardon can seal
yours. Notwithstanding all you can say concerning your bad case, I fully
expect that in the Lord's time you will send me an Ebenezer stone inscribed
with pardon free and full. Thereon we will sit down together, and, taking
the harp from the willow, sing, "It is the Lord's doing, and marvelous in
our eyes." "Grace, grace unto it."
What! do you think you have out sinned the blood, the
love, the power, or the will of Him who is able to save to the uttermost all
who come unto God by Him; and who said, "Him who comes to me I will never
cast out?" Nay, do not so wrong your own soul and the sinner-receiving
Savior. His invitation, His promise is to you, "Come unto me, all you
who labor and are heavy laden--and I will give you rest."
I was thankful to hear you had some alleviation of bodily
affliction, and sincerely hope it will prove permanent, if that will be for
your good. It must be distressing to suffer acutely in body and soul too.
You kindly mention my health. Through mercy it is considerably established,
so that I can engage again in the activities of life. Perhaps you know that
this was very contrary to my wish. I was very tired of my wilderness-school,
and longed for my glory-home, having such bright views thereof as bedimmed
earth and all in it. Yes! I, who once lay trembling at the mouth of the
bottomless pit, and felt that by my own corruptions I was preparing for
those everlasting burnings, have, by sovereign grace, been taken thence into
Beulah's happy land. I have been in the very suburbs of celestial bliss,
have felt joys unutterable, and desired to drop this fettering clay, and to
be forever with my Lord. But He denied my pressing suit, and sent me back to
tell His wondrous love to sister sinners. Oh, would that it might reach your
heart, and that mercy-drops of precious blood might take your guilt and
grief away!
It seems your affliction came upon you contrary to human
probability, and when you were on a pinnacle of worldly ease and honor, and
perhaps of fleshly pride. So did Nebuchadnezzar's. He was suddenly brought
down from his greatness, lost his mental powers, so that he might well say,
"I was as a beast before You." Yet I verily believe the Lord had a favor
towards him, to do him good in his latter end; for at the end of the days
"he lifted up his eyes to heaven," and spoke like one chastened—but not
killed; as one judged in himself that he should not be condemned of the
world. Read his humble praise and confession in Daniel 4:34—and pick up a
crumb of encouragement, if the great Master will let it fall thus from His
table for you. You know it is not a new or strange thing He is doing with
you; for He has said, "The loftiness of man shall be bowed down, and the
haughtiness of men shall be made low; and the Lord alone shall be exalted in
that day."
It is one thing to read this in words—but quite another
to come under the discipline of it, to find all our ornaments taken away,
and truly discover, instead of our imagined beauty--the loathsomeness of our
corruption; instead of a belt keeping all in order--a rip; instead of
well-set hair to please ourselves and others--baldness; and burning in the
conscience--instead of beauty. (Isaiah 3:17, etc.; compare Revelation 3:17,
18) Ah, to go through all this is fearful indeed! I have known it, you now
know it, and the poor heart fears that such an abased, polluted creature
must only be "a vessel of wrath fitted to destruction." But this is only the
spirit of judgment and the spirit of burning, praying the daughters of Zion
that the branch of the Lord may be beautiful and glorious, and the fruit of
the earth excellent and lovely; and these very poor creatures shall be
called holy, and found written among the living in Jerusalem.
You speak of the rising of your heart in independence
against the Lord's dealings to make you dependent. This is exactly His way.
Just where we would not have the cross, it shall be laid on; and where
nature is the most sensitive, it shall least be spared. The reason is
plain—the deeply-rooted evil needs the knife. Your independence might have
passed with you for a virtue, had not close dealing with it by a skillful
hand brought out its hidden hideousness, and now you stand aghast at the
discovery. But remember, you do not now begin to be so vile, you always
were so in God's sight—but the calm surface hid it from your own eyes!
He has broken up the fountain of this great deep, and is discovering your
iniquity to turn away your captivity, in which you have willingly been held
by the very evil you now deplore. "Lo, all these things works God oftentimes
with man" to "withdraw man from his purpose, and hide pride from man." He
will give you a humble, thankful spirit, affectionately willing to be
dependent, if it will glorify Him.
You speak of being thought obstinate in rejecting
comfort. The very same thing was said to me, while truly my heart groaned
for it—but I had no power either to believe or receive. However, when the
day of His power came, I was made willing enough. This day is what you are
waiting for, and you shall not wait in vain, as the mouth of the Lord has
spoken it—Isaiah 30:18; Lamentations 3:25, 26. You speak of some sweet words
and promises coming to your mind with comfort, and that afterwards you think
it was presumption to take them as yours. This is the enemy trying to snatch
the morsel from your hungry soul. He would have you reject everything
because you do not get a full deliverance—but I pray you receive without
fear those little hints of the Lord's kindness to you, lest you grieve His
Holy Spirit, who thus helps you with a little help.
And now I commit you to Him who is able to do for you
exceeding abundantly above all I can ask or think; who will perfect that
which concerns you, and it shall be to the praise of the glory of His grace,
wherein He has made us accepted in the Beloved. May the Holy Spirit witness
it in your soul.
With deep interest, believe me, though very unworthy,
affectionately yours,
Ruth Bryan