Mourning the Absence of Christ
Thomas Boston, 1676–1732
Swinton, July 28, 1706
Lamentations 3:49, 50 "My eye trickles down, and ceases not, without any intermission, until the Lord look down and behold from Heaven."WONDER not, that upon this occasion, we have read a mournful text to you; for I suppose if every one of us were taking liberty to express the affections and present frame of our hearts, it would be as Ezra 3:12, 13, "when some wept with a loud voice, and many shouted aloud for joy: so that the people could not discern the noise of the shout of joy, from the noise of the weeping of the people." So among us, some would weep, and some rejoice; and in the meantime, others would stand as unconcerned spectators, who have not found Christ, and therefore cannot rejoice; and do not feel the want of him, and therefore cannot lament after him. Yes, perhaps, some would be found, who with one eye would look joyfully, because they have got so much; and with the other weep, because they have not got more. But alas! it is the misery of many that they are too soon pleased. They may begin in the course of mourning with the church here, but cannot hold up with her, but stand still, long before "the Lord look down and behold from Heaven," and so lose the things which they have wrought. In the text we have,
1. The church's present exercise, and that is mourning. The ground of her mourning was guilt and heavy affliction, chapter 5:16. Her grief was great, "mine eye trickles down." Her sorrow was such as if her eye had been turned into a fountain of tears, and her head into waters. It was lasting, it ceased not: It was not for a fit and away again, and so ended; but it was without intermission, a continual sorrow.
2. The term of the continuance of this exercise. "Until the Lord look down, and behold from Heaven." She would take no comfort until the Lord should give it to her. She was seeking the Lord sorrowing, and her eyes cannot dry until she find him. It was the light of his countenance only, that could restore her joy. She was resolved her cry should be continually going to the throne, until he who sits upon it, should look in mercy on her, and deliver her.
DOCTRINE.—As it is the duty, so it is the disposition of the godly, exercised under the hidings of the Lord's face, not to give over, nor to sit down contented, until such time as the Lord be pleased to give them a favorable look. We see it thus with Jacob. He said to God, "I will not let you go, except you bless me." Genesis 32:26; Hosea 12:4. And the woman of Canaan. Matthew 15:22–28. I shall here.
I. Show what this imports.
II. Give reasons why they are thus disposed. I am then,
I. To show what is imported in this. It imports,
1. That a child of God may be under the hidings of God's face. When it is said. "until the Lord look," this imports that the Lord refused to look on them for the time. "You did hide your face," says David, "and I was troubled." God will have a difference between the upper and lower houses. When the saints are above, all the shadows flee away, but now clouds may intercept the light of his countenance. This implies that a controversy is apprehended between Christ and the soul. The soul conceives the Lord is angry, for the turning way of the face is the way how we signify our displeasure. When the Lord turns his back, conscience turns its face to the soul, and tells that the Lord is displeased. And O! how bitter must God's anger be to that soul that knows him. Is his favor sweet as life, then his anger must be bitter as death. It implies also an apprehension of the Lord's laying aside any special concern about them. I do not say but it is a mistaken apprehension, but sure such a thing is here implied; for the wife will be ready to think that her husband has forgot her, when he locks up himself in his chamber, and does not give her a look through door or window. This was David's exercise when he said, "How long will you forget me, O Lord? forever? how long will you hide your face from me?" This was Zion's conclusion, though she was mistaken, Isaiah 49:14, 15. The children of God may be under that apprehension, that their high priest has let them out of his mind, though he remembers them still, and does them many good offices, which they know not, until afterwards. But it is so long between visits, that they think he has forgotten them.
2. It imports that the hidings of the Lord's face, may continue long with a child of God. The tears for his absence, may trickle down long, before he come and wipe them away. "I am afflicted," says Heman, "and ready to die from my youth up." Sovereignty has the disposal of the time, and sometimes may prolong it, so as it may appear a kind of eternity. Hence such complaints as, "the harvest is past, the summer is ended, and we are not saved." God will have his people's faith and patience tried, and therefore makes their clouds return after the rain.
3. A holy dissatisfaction with all things, while Christ hides his face. The soul is difficult to please when the Lord is gone. Nothing will stop the fountain of tears here, until the Lord look down from Heaven. The word will not please them, and ordinances will not please them, without him, Psalm 6:6, 7, and 27:4. An angel's presence could not satisfy Moses, Exodus 33:15; nor dry Mary's cheeks, while her Lord was taken away. Their life is bound up in his favorable looks, and as Rachel weeping for her children, refuses to be comforted, because they are not, so they cannot be comforted until he return:
4. A wearisome longing after the Lord, Job 7:2, 3; and 23:3, 4. The soul is looking for his appearance, as the traveler in the night longs for the day-breaking. Most of the causes of weariness concur here, as solitude. The wife lives but a solitary life, when the husband is from home, though the house be thronged with servants; so does the child of God, while the Lord hides his face. Darkness also causes weariness. It is a pleasant thing to behold the sun; but now the Sun of Righteousness hides his face, and it is a dark hour with the soul, Job 29:2, 3. Here also there is some toil. A time of desertion, is a toilsome time to the people of God. "I am weary with my groaning," says David. Duties are hard work, when Christ withdraws. Labor in vain much more causes weariness. Hope deferred makes the heart sick. Sometimes they no sooner call but God hears, then they need not weary. O but to be standing alone, in the dark hour of the night, trying to break up heaven's gates, to get corruptions mortified, and temptations overcome, and all without felt success, how wearisome must that be? A man's not seeing the end of his work, makes weary work. It refreshes the laborer, to think that when the sun goes down, he will go to his rest; but the people of God, in this case, see not their signs, nor know the time how long. They know not what hour of the night it is, and how long it will be until day-break. Finally, continued disappointments from every quarter, from which the soul expects ease, makes weariness in full measure. Job. 23:8, 9; Jeremiah 8:15.
5. Some hope that the Lord will yet look down, and behold from Heaven, Psalm 43:5. Should they lose all hope, they lose all. It is true their hope may be very low: yet likely they will be able to say, who knows but he may return and leave a blessing behind. Sometimes they may draw hasty and heavy conclusions against themselves, but hope will yet set up its head, and make them say with Jonah, "yet I will look again towards God's holy temple;" though it may be sometimes sunk, but all is not lost that is in hazard, Lamentations 3:18–21. Hope feeds those weary laborers, and God never allows his people to sink so low, but everlasting arms are still beneath them, to keep them from falling to the bottom.
Lastly, A resolute persisting in duty until the Lord return: The soul resolves never to give over, and so holds on, until the Lord look down and behold from Heaven. Sense may often bring bad news, and tell them they have already got the last look of him, but the soul is resolute, and will not give over. If it must die, it resolves to die in the bed of honor, even at the Lord's footstool, and to dig its grave at his door. We now proceed,
II. To give some reasons why they are thus disposed. I shall offer only these few.
1. Felt need of Christ engages them to this course. You know what determined the lepers that sat at the gate of Samaria. Many see a want of Christ, that feel not their need of him; hence a few cold wishes, and if that will do, well and good; but if not, they must even live without him. But the gracious soul cannot live without him. They say with Peter, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. Now, necessity has no law, and hunger will dig through stone walls. And if it cannot dig through them, it will leap over them. The soul still cries, Lord help me.
2. Superlative love to him, engages them to this, Song 8:6, 7. Love can endure anything but absence, or the loss of the beloved party. Christ has appeared in his beauty to the gracious soul, and has captivated his heart, and it is so fixed with the sight of his transcendent excellency and fullness, that he cannot take it back again. The eyes of the soul are opened, and can see no happiness in any other. But in the meantime, the soul cannot cease to desire to be happy, and therefore can never rest, until the Lord look down, and behold from Heaven.
USE 1. Hence we may see why so many professors fall short of Christ. They are utter strangers to this disposition of the godly. There are many who have not so much sense as to complain of the Lord's distance from them, because their consciences were never so much touched with any notable common work of the Spirit of God on them. There are others, whose character may be that, "ever learning, and never coming to the knowledge of the truth," they have some movings upon their souls, and they complain; but their complaints are dead, heavy, and inactive. They may at a communion or so, have something like mourning after the Lord, but all their exercise is like a slight shower, that wets only the surface of the earth, which a little wind presently dries up, before it can do any good. The concern of their souls for Christ does not last until, but is gone, before the Lord look down, and behold from Heaven. Reasons of this are,
1. They have not the living spirit of Christ in them, and so they cannot follow the Lord fully. Numbers 14:24; John 4:14. It is but awakening, and not changing grace they have; therefore it decays by little and little, as the light after sunset, until it grow to perfect darkness. Their reigning sloth being only covered, not subdued, rises again, and overspreads the soul, as weeds do in the spring. Take a branch and engraft it, it will keep green a while; but if it do not take with the stock, and unite with it, it withers. "If a man," says Jesus, "abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered."
2. There are difficulties in the way to Heaven, which their hearts cannot digest. Few see Heaven; and why? ease is sweet, and the gate is strait. They love gold, but they cannot exert themselves to dig for it. "The desire of the slothful kills him, for his hands refuse to labor." They see Heaven afar off, and would gladly be there. But there is a great gulf between them and it, that they dare not venture to swim. Heaven will not drop down into their mouths, hence finding the fruitlessness of their attempts, they despair of mending their case, and then sit down to contrive ways to smooth their consciences.
3. The world and their lusts were never made sapless to them, but still have the chief room in their hearts. Hence, when Christ will not answer, they have another door to go to. They are unlike those who said to Jesus, "Lord, to whom shall we go? you have the words of eternal life." They find rest is sweet, so sit down, and fall short of Christ. They are like a wife called to go forth and meet her husband; but her children, in whom she delights, cry after her, and hold her still. And thus many part with Christ, as Orpah with Naomi.
USE 2. You are in earnest for Christ, yet under the hidings of his face, and all things else insipid to you without him, you see here how you are to behave; you must hold on seeking until the Lord look down from Heaven. Take up with no comfort in the world, until you get it from himself, and from his blood; and be resolute that you will never give over until he look down from Heaven, and be sure you shall get a healing look from the Lord. "Shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them?" Have you missed him, have you come short of what God promises to his people; of what is necessary to your case; of what you desired of him? then go from this place, resolved to hang about his hand, and to cry for it until you obtain it; protesting that nothing shall satify you, until the Lord look down and behold from Heaven; and be sure you shall get your communion yet, though the table be drawn, and no more bread and wine on it.
OBJECTION 1. I dare seek him no more, guilt so stares me in the face, that prayer is a terror to me. ANSWER, This is a fit of indisposition you are under, and sometimes Christians are carried away with it. But if you belong to Christ, you will even take up with prayer again, seeing yourself the greater fool, that ever you laid it aside, if it were ever so short a while. But O hear what Christ himself says to you. Song 2:14.
OBJECTION 2. But I am burdened with a hard heart, I cannot mourn after the Lord; could I seek him to purpose, I would have hope that he would look down, and behold from Heaven. I fear he has nothing to do with me. I see I am all wrong, but I can do nothing to help it. ANSWER I suppose you may find three hopeful things, even in that case. 1. Self-dissatisfaction. There is a secret discontent with yourselves in you. Weak grace is frowning on corruption, though it is not able to master it. 2. Self-condemnation. The man is the vilest creature in his own eyes. He has nothing to commend him to Christ, and he would wonder if he would cast him a crumb; saying, "it is of the Lord's mercies, that I am not consumed, and because his compassions fail not. But to this man, says the Lord, will I look, even to him that is poor, and of a broken and a contrite spirit, and trembles at my word." 3. There is a spark of kindness to Christ in the heart, though the soul has written the bill of divorce, and put it in Christ's hand, yet the soul would not sign it for thousands of worlds. Well then, if you cannot mourn, will you sigh and groan after him. Romans 8:26, 27. If you cannot sigh, will you give him an earnest look. "I am cast out of your sight," said Jonah, "yet I will look again toward your holy temple."
OBJECTION 3. The Lord has let me fall into such a gross sin as has wounded my conscience, and I fear he has shaken me off, by letting me fall into it. And whenever that comes in my mind, I cannot think that the Lord will ever look more to me. ANSWER Have you fled to Christ for refuge. If you have, then your greatest sins may hide God's face, but shall never part God and you. Psalm 89:30–34, "The blood of Jesus Christ cleanses from all sin." The Lord has designs of good, even in permitting his people to fall. He raises profit to them out of it. Thus God left Hezekiah, in the business of the Babylonian ambassadors, "to try him, that he might know all that was in his heart." It also brings a revenue of glory to himself, by his having mercy upon them. And for your continual disquiet, look that you have not trusted more to your repentance for your sin, than to the blood of Christ, which "alone can purge the conscience from dead works to serve the living God."
OBJECTION. 4. I have met with so many disappointments, that I can scarcely think but I must give it over. ANSWER. You are not the first that have met with them. Job 23 Song 3. Disappointments are needful for us in several respects. But if you should meet with one on the back of another until your dying hour, if Christ come at last, you have no reason to repent your waiting on; and come he will, to them that will not want him. There are three signs when your disappointments may be near an end. 1. When your heart is duly humbled, and you are as a weaned child; when you leave off limiting God; resolving to wait on God, but to prescribe no time to him. "Lord you have heard the desire of the humble; you will prepare their heart, you will cause your ear to hear." 2. When you get your case touched, and laid open in the public ordinances. "The watchmen that go about the city, found me," says the spouse, "and after this she soon found her beloved." 3. When you are carried above means, to look over them all to Christ himself; even passing on from the watchmen, until you find him whom your soul loves.
Lastly, My case grows worse and worse, heavier and heavier, and always the longer the more hopeless. ANSWER. Wait on until the Lord look down. There is hope in Israel, concerning this thing. Men's extremity is God's opportunity, Isaiah 41:17, 18. "For the Lord shall judge his people, and repent himself for his servants, when he sees their power is gone, and there is none shut up or left." Christ usually times his visits, so that he may be the more welcome when he comes. It is as with Hagar, who never saw the well, until she gave over the child for death. The darkest hour is readily before day-break. Amen.