Letters of James Bourne, 1773-1853
Letter 1
(To his sister E.) 1807
Dear Sister,
I was permitted for years to go on in my own strength, to let me see what mighty acts I could perform. A self-righteous spirit will lead us to make such a patch-work garment as will for awhile conceal the filthy imaginations of the heart; and thus we carefully preserve our reputation and honor, and get the name of devout Christians; the chief of our food is the applause of those about us. If we are disposed to exercise our charity, we take care to blow the trumpet, lest we should not be seen by men; and leave nothing undone but the weightier matters of the law.
But as God had purposes of grace towards me, I was not allowed to go on in this spirit to the end; for all my fair and fond hopes of keeping everything straight, shunning the cross, and appearing outwardly devout, were brought down—being founded on my own strength and on my own wisdom. I was permitted to raise this airy tower until it reached nearly to Heaven but the Lord looked down and scattered all my lofty thoughts, and I was obliged to acknowledge that the wisdom of man is foolishness with God, and I was so hemmed in on every side as to be made to cry, "Lord, save me, or I perish!"
In this frame of mind I was allowed to continue for some time, until I was filled with my own devices (Proverbs 1:30). I felt much pity for myself and much enmity against God, and thought I was dealt harshly with; and began to look for nothing but the fiery indignation of the Lord. Every refuge seemed to fail me, every false confidence was destroyed; my life hung in perpetual doubt, and every outward providence untoward.
But underneath all this there certainly was an almighty arm of mercy, so that though exceedingly perplexed, I was not in utter despair; and it was in the midst of the darkest outward providences that the Lord was pleased to raise my soul to a hope that Jesus would reveal himself to me as my friend; and in the strength of this I was enabled to go many days. For faith, though "as a grain of mustard seed," yet being of the operation of the Holy Spirit, will enable us to creep along fearful of our own strength, looking to Christ for strength, hoping and despairing. So it was with me, until at length be revealed himself to me as the sinner's all in all; and then I knew the Lord by this most glorious name "I AM THAT I AM."
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 2
(To Mr. Gadsby, Minister of the Gospel, Manchester.) London, 1807.
Dear Sir,
I fear you will begin to think, and that not without cause, that I have entirely forgotten you; but I have only been at home one week, and I found much to be done after so long an absence. I feel a great backwardness to write even now—I am so dark and shut up that I cannot come forth; yet there is a secret something which tells me I am under the leading of God—yes, according to that word, "I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not"—and blind indeed I am, for I am groping for the wall at noonday.
I have been very sharply tried in various ways since I saw you, and have been many times ready to give all up; but thanks be to God, he will not give me up; and at other times I have had the sweetest refreshings, which I cannot describe. Indeed, it may be said of me, "Unstable as water, you shall not excel" (Genesis 49:4).
This one thing is at all times a source of consolation to me—I cannot help looking back at the miserable condition I was in when the Lord Jesus Christ first espoused me to himself, made me one with him, and put a ring upon my finger, an emblem of his eternal and unchangeable love. And though in my gloomy moments I call all this into question, yet the devil has not yet made me believe it to be entirely a delusion. I know God hears prayer, even put up in the dark seasons, for he often gives me the desire of my heart. But the happy moments are so transient that I scarcely know what to make of it. Unbelief seems to be the only thing that prevails in my heart. O how I hate myself for it! For I would gladly take my Jesus at his word, and feed thereon and grow; but instead of this, I am always getting on the sand.
I feel I have no power to quicken my own soul. He shuts and no man opens; he hides his face, and we are troubled. It is sin, and nothing else, that separates God front us. O how I loathe myself on this account! But blessed be God, though "weeping may endure for a night, joy comes in the morning." I had such a sight and sense of what I am, that it made me greatly to fear, and say, Will the Lord be gracious? Are not his mercies clean gone forever? I began to look for some fearful thing to happen to me; but under Mr. Huntington's preaching last night the Lord broke my heart with his goodness, and I was filled with the keenest sense of my own nothingness, and of his unchangeable and everlasting love to me.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 3(To his Sister E.)—December 1807.
Dear Sister,
I promised to give you an account of my visit to Manchester, but I must defer it until I see you. When the mind is dark and the soul is barren, it is hard work to spin out anything that will be profitable; but as I desire the glory of God when I write, so I hope he will stop my pen when it is no longer profitable to you. I am so bewildered as scarcely to know what I am about. I am ready to say, "Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger shut up his tender mercies?"
My days seem to consume in vanity and trouble. I know that the Lord has done great things for me, and it is my grief that I have not a heart to thank him for it. My unbelief is greater than anything, and I am ready to say, "Can God furnish a table in the wilderness?" Can he give me the bread of life, who am so barren?
Thus my unbelief brings the sensible anger of God upon me. O that I knew where I might find him! for there is nothing in this world that can satisfy my soul. I feel the conflict is begun, and begin to understand something of those words, "We must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God." We carry about a body of sin, and this pulls one way, while the renewed man will not agree to it, and pulls another way, "With my mind I serve the law of God, but with my flesh the law of sin." I am proud, self-willed, perverse, and I know God will bring all this down. Into the furnace I must go; and I tremble lest I should be consumed, though the word of God tells me I shall come forth purified a vessel fit for the Master's use.
It is certainly a token for good, when afflictions make us cry to God, and produce a longing after him and a waiting for him; while others are made to call upon the rocks and mountains to fall upon them, to hide them from the wrath of God and of the Lamb. The one sort cry for mercy, while the other flee from his presence; I am sure I am of the former number; I have no desire to flee from his presence; it is his presence I want, and the sense of his favor; for it is only in his light I have light; of myself I am total darkness, and can only complain of my detestable ways. I have a keen and sensible fear of God, and would not for the world (when in my right mind) offend him; but the old man of sin and the devil are so combined and strong, that faith seems often almost out of hearing.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 4
(To a Friend)—1808.
Dear Sir,
As it respects 'The Barber', I can speak with confidence. It was the first book that ever was attended with light, as well as power, to show me the desperate condition I was in. I had been convicted, and I believe it was the Spirit of God that convicted me; yet I had not light to understand what it meant; and I went on in misery and vexation eighteen years, until this book (whoever likes or dislikes it) fell into my hands.
I always determined never to read Mr. Huntington's controversial books, lest I should be prejudiced against his preaching; because I was told they were cruel and abusive, and written in a bad spirit. But one night, walking along Oxford Street, I thought I would turn into a bookshop and ask if they had any of Mr. Huntington's works. They replied that they had The Barber and another, both of which I bought, and immediately read. Until then I knew nothing of the spider's web I had been weaving; but that book plainly showed me the difference between the letter and the spirit, the form of godliness and the power. God by it so entangled me with my own deceivings, that I was forced to cry out, "Lord, save me, or I perish." Let who will find fault with The Barber or his bad spirit, I will thank God that he should condescend to send that book with such power to my heart, and will pray that the author may be established in his own soul, and blessed in all his labors.
Yours faithfully, James Bourne
Letter 5
(To Mr. H. B.)—Brighton, 1808.
Dear Sir,
I was very glad to see your letter, it was a word in season; and it really rejoiced my heart to hear that you find a greater earnestness with God. "Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." We both have felt this.
You saw by my letter the state of my mind when I first arrived here, and the rebellion and unbelief of my heart. But thanks be to God, he does all things well; instead of entering into judgment with me, he poured his loving-kindness into my heart, insomuch that I had not one petition left—my prayers were turned into praises. The grief and joy I felt were beyond all power of words to describe. Indeed I repented in dust and ashes, but found a full and complete satisfaction. He became my all in all, and myself worse and less than nothing.
I had some conversation with Mr. Brook, and I have no doubt the Lord enabled him to open all his heart to me; he told me all his trials and difficulties. I saw so clearly the hand of God in it that my heart was drawn out to believe that he regards both the spiritual and the temporal needs of his chosen ones, and that I should lack no good thing. This stopped my unbelief, and I was made to be very passive, desirous of knowing God's will toward me, and patiently to wait.
I felt myself very sober-minded all Saturday, and on Sunday walked alone to Lewes, with a spirit of prayer when Mr. Brook preached from these words, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born to adversity." This really suited my case. I found that my friend, Christ Jesus, had loved me, and that it was from everlasting to everlasting the same; and the latter part of his discourse made the ungodly world retire many miles out of sight. I felt myself a poor, helpless, lost creature, but at the same time found my Elder Brother was "in all points tempted like as we are" and was "touched with the feeling of our infirmities;" and that every affliction was to try me and prove me, and to do me good in my latter end.
In the evening at Brighton he preached from the words, "If any man serves me, him will my Father honor." I had faith given me to receive every word he said as my own portion. I knew that he had honored me, and made me his son by adoption. I was fully persuaded of this truth—that where God does not incline the heart to cry to him, he does not design to give. He will make a man feel his needs before he ever supplies them. I cried earnestly to the Lord, and he heard my petitions, and gave me an answer of peace; this is better than ten thousand pounds; and I know all this comes from him by the fruits. It has meekened and humbled me, given me patience and resignation, and destroyed every present anxious care for this life.
I supped on Sunday evening with Mr. Brook, and told him of my happy deliverance that day. It seemed greatly to warm his heart, He is very affectionate and kind, and has no reserve, but tells me all his heart. He will take me to see Mr. Jenkins when he returns, if I stay until then.
If I meet with any employment, I will continue here some time. I have a garret, and sit occasionally with the old landlady in the kitchen, who provides my breakfast. I look so little like a beggar that few would believe it. I have now one guinea left, and I shall spin it out as far as possible.
Yours faithfully, James Bourne
Letter 6
(To Mr. H. B.)—London, 1808.
Dear Sir,
For three weeks after I wrote to you last, I enjoyed much of God's presence; "the candle of the Lord" shone bright upon my head and "his visitation preserved my spirit;" and I often thought this was fitting me for some serious affliction, and that I would soon be fast "bound in affliction and iron." And surely the thing that I greatly feared came upon me, so that my spirit was overwhelmed within me.
The enemy tried hard to turn me out of the chapel, telling me I was not fit to walk about; he has made me to skulk and hide myself where I could, like a thief that is detected. He followed me as close in my business, so that I was obliged to resign much of my employment. These things made me cry infinitely to God for help, for I knew not where it would all end. I could neither eat, drink, nor sleep; everybody perceived something was wrong with me, but none could find out the cause, for I told nobody the real state of my case. O what a hornet's nest appeared within! What rebellion, self-will, what tender compassion for self, and what secret anger sometimes against God—for not appearing immediately to deliver me!
I have often lain on the floor weeping and calling upon God for a long time together, and it seemed as if the more I cried and groaned, the less help I found. I thought I went in faith; but alas! there was no resignation, and conscience has often secretly told me that from my heart I could not add these words, "if consistent with your righteous will." O no! I would gladly be delivered at all events; no patiently waiting, nor quietly hoping. Here I lay for six weeks, like a fool brayed in a mortar.
God has at length given me light and understanding to see that it was his hand upon me, and that for good. He has given me a measure of fitness and submission, and enabled me feelingly to say "I will bear the indignation of the Lord, because I have sinned against him." But then I am more brutish and proud than any man, and therefore the furnace must be heated sevenfold. I would be something, and God is showing me that I am less than nothing. I was taking the highest room; but God has said, Go down to the lowest, and give every man place.
Yours faithfully, James Bourne
Letter 7
(To the Rev. W. J. Brook ) London, 1808.
Dear Sir,
I fear it can be no entertainment to you to hear how I go on, but I feel disposed to write, and may God enable me to do it in godly sincerity. My health is better, but I move very heavily on. I cannot get to hear the Word, being kept in such bondage and fear that I have not presumed to set my foot nearer than the top step of the gallery, where I can hear but little, and sometimes not at all. This is a sore grief to me, and I have cried bitterly to God to deliver me, but find no strength; and I now begin to fear that God has utterly separated me from his people, and that I shall be held in perpetual contempt.
A little time past, I enjoyed his presence, and then I thought my afflictions were all the best things that could befall me; but I have lost all sight of his dear face, and all sense of his favor towards me; I walk in sore darkness and seem troubled on every side. If I could have ever so distant a hope that God would restore me, I think I would then be satisfied.
What you told me in the vestry at Providence Chapel, is the only thing that has abode with me; and that was, that God had some purpose to answer in my affliction, and when that was answered he would remove the rod. Amen. If I could but fully believe this, I think I should then wait for the day in patience, for I have sinned against him.
I find at times uncommon energy in prayer to God in this trouble, but get no sensible deliverance. O that I could quietly wait for his salvation! I think I never asked you to write to me, but if God should put it into your heart to do so now, how thankful I would be! Perhaps he may send a word of support by you.
Yours faithfully, James Bourne
Letter 8
(To the Rev. W. J. Brook.)—1809.
Dear Sir,
I thank you much for your kind letter. I believe God is doing me good, and in this he is pleased to say he delights. Though we cry hard under his chastening hand, the rod will not be spared. This quietly waiting for God is a hard lesson, and flesh and blood will have a voice here, and say it is cruel. Hence comes the contention; so that when I would quietly submit and patiently wait, this evil is present with me.
I often wonder at God's merciful forbearance to such a perverse fool as I am; for surely he shows at times such a tender regard for me, and gives me such sweet indulgences and familiarities, as to melt my soul into gratitude for his loving-kindness, and cover my face with shame for all my rebellion and hard thoughts towards him. I believe that it is good to be afflicted; for I am sure it is the source of a great deal of secret communion between the soul and God, which they that walk in a clear path know but little of. It causes me to watch every turning of his hand, and many, many times in the day my heart is lifted up in prayer to him, and I feel at times sweet and speedy answers. When my case appears quite desperate, I am helped with a little help. It is true I have thought my troubles great, yet invariably when I feel Christ in my heart, "the hope of glory," then I can rejoice in tribulation, and kiss the rod of affliction. Then again the corruption of the heart and unbelief bring a cloud over the mind, and all is fretfulness again. But by all these things I learn that I am walking in the footsteps of the flock, and in all these things is the life of my soul. Who teaches like God?
I have heard much of your persecutions at Brighton; but blessed be God that he has left on record that the trial of faith shall "be found onto praise, and honor, and glory." "Such honor have all his saints."
I do love to watch God in everything, in our going out and in our coming in; for I am sure he is in everything, and is said to be about our path; nor can I see in what other way we can be said to walk with God.
I like your idea of liberty—those sons of liberty are slaves to sin, and are the devil's prisoners; none but those whom Christ makes free are free indeed.
Yours faithfully, James Bourne
Letter 9
(To Mr. Burrell, afterwards Minister of the Gospel.)—1809.
My dear Friend,
The feeblest and weakest of all creatures desires to speak a little of the wonderful loving-kindness of God, so visibly shown in my behalf, and so sweetly felt in my heart. I seem more and more comforted under these tumults, and have fresh assurances of God's everlasting love to my soul. These words came sweetly into my mind while reading before chapel this morning, "He has delivered my soul in peace from the battle that was against me!" Oh, how suitable and supporting! I can bless my dear Redeemer for these unlooked-for mercies. He knows my weak and trembling state, and therefore encourages me by those sweet and frequent visits. "In the multitude of my thoughts within me, your comforts delight my soul."
I have lost a few earthly companions, and the dear Lord Jesus has come in their stead. O that God would condescend still to teach me, to be my guide, counselor, and friend, and give me a grateful heart for all his condescension and mercy to the vilest and unworthiest of his people; and may he bless you for your kindness to me; and though I have been brought acquainted with you under a cloud, yet I do believe God will, in rich mercy, make it manifest that he has chosen me; and that your labor of love towards me shall not be in vain.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 10
(To a Friend.) March 7, 1810.
My dear Friend,
Since I saw you last I have been much exercised in various ways, but I find my hope is still in the Lord; and that none are able to pluck me out of his hand. It is now that the testimony of God supports me, while I have looked in vain for that of man. His comfortable presence, which is often with me, and has been so with very little intermission ever since Monday two weeks ago, at half-past six, is now my strength. I sometimes think that if this dear Friend, who is touched with the feeling of our infirmities, were wholly to withdraw himself, I would indeed be at my wits end; but it is not so with me yet; the blessed Spirit is pleased to help my infirmities, and quiet my soul under all these storms.
Those that have risen up against me will find in the end, that nothing can by any means hurt me, because the Lord is on my side, and he will, in his own time and manner, manage all these matters in my behalf. I desire to leave my cares in his hands, and often feel enabled to do so.
I sincerely hope matters go on well with you, and that the joy of the Lord is your strength. I beseech you to keep close to God, begging earnestly of him to teach and instruct, and to reveal himself more clearly to you.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 11
(To the Rev. J. W. Brook.) 1811.
My dear Sir,
I was very desirous of seeing you when you were last in town, but things so happened that it could not be. I had much of God's goodness fresh upon my heart, and could have told you of many sweet interferences of God in my behalf. I have been severely tried with distressing fears for many months respecting my old malady. These have exercised me nearly as much as the actual affliction; but all has brought me into the dust before God, to cry mightily to him, and has been the means of much communion between God and my soul, accompanied with the fullest and sweetest assurances of his love and favor. His kind sympathy and condescending care over me, have so endeared him to me, that even in my sorest troubles I have stood astonished, and said, Lord, I love this sore affliction, however hard to flesh and blood, while I feel such a close union with you, my best and only Friend, who loves at all times. How can I wish to be delivered from what seems to be the means of such inexpressible delight? I can have no other Heaven. O let me be perfectly resigned, knowing that you are righteous in all your dealings.
O how little did I appear in my own eyes, and yet how much strong confidence I had in the Rock of Ages! I see God's wonderful kindness, in taking such pains with us to make us understand his loving-kindness, and to hide pride from our eyes.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 12
(To his Wife.) Southampton, 1812.
My dear Wife,
It is indeed a grief to me to hear of my little boy's relapse. It is my earnest desire to leave the outcome with God. On opening your letter I felt it severely, but no contention with God. It immediately came into my mind how tenderly and kindly the Lord had dealt with me; and I was much softened under a sense of his goodness. I am sensible I have no power to resign my child, or patiently submit to any afflictive dispensation, yet I am much drawn out to beg of God to make me passive in his hands; and at times feel sweetly satisfied that he is doing all things for our good.
O how many mercies and blessings I enjoy! How I am comforted at times with an entire sense of his love to me in Christ Jesus, and so kind is he in all his providences, that, were it not for the reproach I lie under, and the sickness of my child, I could hardly be in the footsteps of the flock; for tribulation is and must be the lot of God's children.
I cannot describe to you how desirous I feel at times to bear every adverse providence, not only with patience but thankfulness. I am very sensible that ballast is necessary; mine neither is nor has been a common case. Never man so unworthy as I am was dealt with so tenderly. It is true all cry out against me; but God in Christ is very, VERY precious to me. I now enjoy the secret reward, and believe one day of other I shall have it openly. Don't misunderstand me; I mean, I have a comfortable testimony of God's love now, and whether I am ever received by God-fearing people or not, this I know, I shall have "an inheritance incorruptible and that fades not away."
Matters come to a very narrow point, if we could think so; for how little it signifies whether I go first or my boy; a few years must settle the whole. But everything is on my side. "Chosen of God, elect, precious"—"All things are yours." I feel everything sweet, but the river Jordan. At times that looks deep and broad, and it is injected into my mind that it will be doleful; but all beyond is pleasant; and I live in hopes that God may be better to me than all my fears, even in this matter.
I do most earnestly beg my dearest wife to write by return of post, and let me hear all.
Adieu. James Bourne
Letter 13
(To M. B.) London, 1819.
Dear Cousin,
I have many anxious fears about you, when I consider the reasoning of these people. All genuine experience is called impulse and natural feeling. All faith without doubt, upon the written word, is called the true confidence. All those sweet visitations and lifts along the way—all secret hints to keep me out of mischief—all spiritual counsel and direction to keep me from the paths of the destroyer—are called a narrow, bigoted spirit; and this being backed with that scripture, "Judge not, and you shall not be judged"—seems right. I can only come off clear with this scripture, "Regarded as deceivers, and yet true."
Here, I trust, by the grace of God in Christ Jesus, I shall be able to stand until the day of judgment, and then all deception will be at an end; yet through grace I am made to feel my own blindness and helplessness.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 14
(To M. B. ) London, 1810.
Dear Cousin,
I believe the way to be so narrow, that millions who think they are in it will never pass through; and many in our own family are among that number, unless grace prevents the sad mistake. I hope to abide in this narrow spirit with my last breath. The general profession of the day is no religion; it amounts to very little more than what Hart calls "mere notion." The part I value above every earthly comfort is considered as nonsense, delusion, and conceit—all those sweet visitations that preserve my spirit from the spirit of the world—all those secret rebukes and reproofs that God sanctifies to my soul to keep me from evil, and that, I may not be condemned with a wicked and sinful world, are considered as fanaticism.
Even so; let me be accounted as it deceiver, and yet be true in Christ, and be made willing to pass through evil report as well as good report. I heartily wish you no worse than to join us in these divine things, and not content yourself with anything short of the truth.
In Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress there are two sorts that get into the Slough of Despond, but only one of them gets out on the right side. Ponder this, my dear cousin; it is an important matter. The whole of your happiness turns upon this.
I have no doubt you find many trials, and many rebukes; and yet no wisdom to know how to proceed. So it was with me. But God was pleased, by due and slow degrees, to unfold his providence by little and little, and led me to watch his hand, and earnestly at all times to beg his help, and that he would show me his will concerning me both temporally and spiritually. I really found it sweet living in this way; and everything appeared plainer and plainer as I went along. The Lord gave me an understanding to know how I was to proceed; yet I must confess I brought many afflictions and rods upon myself by my untoward and perverse ways, though not left in them to destruction; but he was pleased to sanctify the afflictive cross, and to humble me under it, and to heal my soul; and has never yet left me nor forsaken me.
Now, try him in the same way, and see if you do not find him faithful and true.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 15
(To M. B.) 7 Somerset Street, London, January 1820.
Dear Cousin,
If God is pleased to make you sick of your evil ways in every sense, and of your evil nature too, you will so sicken and die to the world, that neither the kindness of friends, nor the hypocrisy of false professors, will be able to keep you from crying for mercy. I know you must have many difficulties to encounter, and find nobody to counsel you. This is hard; but, however hard it may appear, I really think we are too apt to go to human means (if near at hand), and by that are kept longer in misery; while, if human means are withheld, we MUST go to the fountain-head, where alone all real and efficacious help is to be had. This has been much my case in the beginning of my profession; and I find it much the same now.
I have had many anxious cares and feelings about my new abode, and have been dreadfully afraid of entangling myself in expenses too great for me. I have had many sleepless nights, crying earnestly to God to undertake for me; and on Monday last, I was so ill in body, and so burdened with care, that I knew not how to exist. I had long cried to God to relieve me, but found no sensible help.
There is a quietly hoping and patiently waiting for the salvation of God. My desires after him were intense. I wanted his approbation, and an assurance that he would bring me through life, and give me an expected end; and in my new house, just before bedtime, when alone, the Lord was pleased to shine into my heart in the sweetest possible manner. It was attended with such godly repentance, godly sorrow, and self-abhorrence, as I shall never be able to describe, Christ assuring my heart of his tender mercy to me, and that I was walking in the steps of his providence, and that my happiness and privilege were to cast my care upon him, for it was not in my power to manage matters, but God would in infinite condescension undertake for me both spiritually and temporally.
O what happiness to be in such hands! Troubles we must have, but a sweet hope of mercy at last sweetens all; and if you attain to a comfortable assurance of your saving interest in Christ, it will be more to you than all outward earthly comfort whatever. My wife joins in kind regards.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 16
(To a Friend.) London, 1821.
Dear Friend,
Whatever may be your thoughts, where you are to settle and how to manage your business, they ought to run in this channel, "Seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." While I put business first, I find "death in the pot;" everything goes counter, and I am as lifeless as a post; but when I am earnestly seeking for a better portion, and eternal things are uppermost, then I consider by what means God will preserve this spiritual life, and what steps will be most conducive to it; whether a distant country, where no fellowship with the saints is found, no sound of the gospel is heard, no affliction with the people of God suffered, but plenty of business, and plenty of admirers, and a soul as dark and as dry as a potsherd; or to be content with the daily manna, watching the hand of God, living with his people, and, like Ruth of old, saying, Let nothing prevent me following the people of God, "Your people shall be my people, your God my God; the Lord do so to me, and more also, if anything but death part you and me." So let all your plans and pursuits be, and so shall they have a happy outcome.
Yours faithfully, James Bourne
Letter 17
(To Mr. Nunn.) Hampstead, 1823.
Dear Friend,
I am truly sensible of the kindness God has put into your heart towards me. I have found much fellow-feeling in your sufferings, and also in a measure have been made partaker of those comforts that you have had. If the Lord shall enable me I will tell you honestly the things I have lately been through, and beg that God for Christ's sake may have mercy upon me, and show me if I am wrong.
I thought I saw much of the mercy of God in all my stay at Peper-Harrow. After I had finished there, I remained a short time in the country on some further business, and was taken so ill that I despaired of ever returning home; but my spiritual coldness was by far the worst grievance. I seemed to sink without measure, and groaned most earnestly that my life might be spared to return. I seemed to get worse every day, and the more I cried to the Lord, the more gloomy everything seemed, and what would become of me I knew not. I did from my very soul justify the Lord in his dealings with me, and agreed that my afflictions were due to my folly. The night before I came away I fainted, and the next morning was hardly able to prevent fainting again, and put up many earnest petitions that the Lord would enable me to get home to die.
Now, I think, if ever, I was made honest and tender and sincere. I longed to see some of the friends, yet dared not send for them, thinking God had bid them stand aloof from my sore, and being made willing, even if I perished in the contest, still to cry mightily to God to help me, for I knew that my evidences must be something more than the kindness of friends.
God knows how glad I was to see you when you called. On Wednesday night when alone, I read the Word of God, and prayed and cried most bitterly, that he would look with mercy upon me, for I had no strength to contend with the various assaults I met with, and the fear and horror of death in such a state seemed to drink up my spirit. The Lord was pleased to soften my heart and made me feel much meekness and patience, and a sweet sensation of his kindness towards me.
O how I begged that he would be with you all at chapel, and with the preacher that he might abound with blessings for himself and the people. My heart was truly with the work, and I could bear witness in my soul that the Lord was with us. But this only continued until next day. I began again to sink into all the horrors of darkness beyond what I can express, and gave up everything. I was so ashamed I knew not where to hide my face. No guilty condemned wretch could fear death more than I did; and so I continued until Sunday morning, when I found much encouragement and was sweetly refreshed.
How mightily I feel all matters relating to the soul With me it is a case of life and death. Though this conflict has been, is, and I fear will yet be, very sharp, I have at times a sweet secret hope that he is doing me good, and intends to give me an expected end. Dear friend, I believe my sharp conflict has made me more sincere, honest, and in earnest than I ever felt in my life. O what a depth of sin has been discovered, which in the day of prosperity was never suspected!
May you be led to pray for me, that the Lord would be with me to instruct me, and to work in me all the good pleasure of his will.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 18
(To his Wife.) Kidbrook, August 11, 1821.
My dear Wife,
I was rather low on leaving London (partly owing to nervousness), and anxious to have some token for good before entering Kidbrook. I felt much earnestness, with godly fear, that I might not be found where I had no right to be, and I could not quite satisfy myself, unless I could perceive some access, or the Lord taking some notice of me, some way or other.
In reading Job 37, I cannot describe the sensation I felt, cleaving to the Lord with much watchfulness and humiliation, and a great sense of my weakness. I saw some beauty in these words, "Do you know the balancings of the clouds, the wondrous works of him that is perfect in knowledge? How your garments are warm when he quiets the earth by the south wind?" Yet I did not get all I wanted. But when I came to these words, "Can you bind the sweet influences of Pleiades?" (Job 38:31.) I could not help crying, No Lord, I cannot; I wish with all my heart I could but continually keep them while I live on earth! And with much joy the Lord visited me and meekened me under a sense of his love, and I went on quite satisfied that God was with me. I said, Lord, if I am to meet with vexation and disappointments, let your Holy Spirit teach me how to bear it, and let it be seen that this is of you by a discreet behavior, which is so contrary to my nature. In this frame I put up many petitions, and found my heart filled with such composure and watchfulness as I cannot tell; nor did I forget you.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 19
(To his Wife ) 19 August, 1824.
My dear Wife,
I was exceedingly happy on Sunday morning in reading and meditation. I do not know when I found so much meekness and humility before God, and such godly sorrow and real grief of heart on account of sin. I was first much struck in reading Elisha Coles, where he says, "Moses for once speaking unadvisedly was shut out of Canaan, though he would gladly have gone into that good land, and solicited the Lord much about it as if he would have no denial. Yet the Lord would not hear him: 'Speak no more to me of this matter.' "
I felt great fear and trembling here, and could bring many things to mind, if God had been pleased to enter into judgment; but I was led to confess my folly, acknowledge my sin and its deserts, and found the Lord heard my prayer, and broke my heart with his goodness. As I went on with Elisha Coles I read, "It shall be no grief of heart to you to remember your mortal sufferings when you see such peaceable fruits of righteousness brought forth thereby." O no! But I cannot paint my feeling in what follows, "He will never repent who sows in tears, when he brings home his sheaves with joy, to eternal life." What sweet and powerful words!
Can so poor and wretched a creature as I be brought to receive such an inexpressible feeling in his heart? Yes, by the mighty power of God. What purity and love it works! How sweet and undefiled! Dare I say so? Yes, I must say so; but it is all in Christ Jesus, and what he works in us. How odious it makes sin, and how ashamed we are when we bow before him in adoration! Nothing can describe my humiliation at such a time, nor the grief I feel for my sinful nature; and the more because of his pardoning love. It is wonderful to say it, but it seems almost too much. But, O what a sweet union exists between Christ and the soul under such influences! I give a very lame account of it, very short of what I wish to describe.
I afterwards found much sweetness and encouragement in reading 2 Peter 1:10, 11, "Give diligence to make your calling and election sure; for if you do these things, you shall never fail; for so an entrance shall be ministered unto you abundantly into the ever-lasting kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." O do seek for this! Slack not, nor tarry in all the plain.
I also saw much in Micah 4:6-12:Not to take heed to any that may be watching for our halting, but rather to watch what the Lord will do for us, and see that we obtain a FULL REWARD. I hope the Lord will appear for you, and do you good, and make you much in earnest.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 20
(To M. B.) July 25, 1825.
Dear Cousin,
I feel quite sorry for _______, yet when I consider the mighty power of God that must be displayed in the behalf of every sinner that is saved, I know that he can make every mountain a plain, and remove every obstacle. When he will work, NONE SHALL HINDER. Please tell her to listen to none, and to go to none but God; and let her beg earnestly for a spirit of prayer and supplication. May the Word of God dwell richly in her heart, and be her rule and guide! Let her pray over it, and entreat the Lord to grant her his Holy Spirit, who shall guide her into all truth. I am sure if she be rightly led, she will often feel ready to despair and to give up praying; but hope will revive in prayer, and encouragement spring up. Her time, like mine, appears as if it would not be long on earth; and to have God on our side when we draw near our end, is worth more than all the treasures of earth.
By reason of my sin, I perceive that I must pass through that spiritual baptism which our Savior speaks of, and in which he cries out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" In every such place of horror, darkness, and fear, I would utterly faint if he did not please to return with some strength, some hope, some consolation, to raise up my sinking spirit. This makes me to stand my ground.
We all (like the virgins in the parable) sleep by the way, and often the heaviest troubles take us at such a time. We should thus soon come to destruction, were it not for the fear of the Lord, like a sentinel, to rouse us, and make us tremble at the prospect of his judgments, which seem to be coming heavily upon us; and work in us such a falling down before him, that he cannot but look upon us in mercy. Hereupon we find once more the oil in our lamps, and are ready for the marriage supper.
I am sure that there is no other way than that of trouble and anguish because of sin, and joy and gladness because of mercy. These, more or less, are constantly the frames of all such as have divine life.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 21
(To Mr. Nunn.) Middleton Park, 1827.
Dear Friend,
I feel much disposed to give you some account of myself; but when I was most willing, then time and power were both wanting. I never leave home on such an occasion without much anxiety, knowing the manifold snares and difficulties which are sure to befall me. I was very unhappy on Wednesday afternoon with a great mixture of deadness and barrenness; and though I was led to cry to the Lord, unbelief seemed to say that there was no use in it—a backslider in heart can only be filled with his own ways. I fretted against the Lord, but did not quite give up hoping; and when I heard the text that evening, "Who is on the Lord's side," the very words seemed to vibrate in my heart, and I thought I could say, I am! Then something replied, Keep praying; and in a little time I found a spirit of meekness and godly sorrow, and my mind greatly refreshed, and my heart turned to be quite in earnest.
I went home and read the chapter from which the text was taken (Exodus 32.) and the following one; and my heart sweetly kindled as I went on to these words, "Now, therefore, I pray you, if I have found grace in your sight, show me now your way, that I may know you, that I may find grace in your sight;" and the following words took me greatly by surprise, "And he said, My presence shall go with you." Out of the abundance of my heart, feeling such ineffable sweetness in the sense of his loving-kindness and care over me, I cried, "My Lord and my God!"
Sin was acknowledged and in heart forsaken, and many petitions put up that he would remember me when I forget myself! O, my dear sir, where is there such a friend? These are not cunningly-devised fables, but solid realities. How it prepares my heart against disappointments, and makes me still under many crosses! This God is our God, and will be our guide unto death.
Tell Mrs. N. to try this way. Perhaps she will reply that she does try; but not with all the heart. A savor in what she says is wanting. Secret prayer and meditation not only bring life into the soul, but their effect is sure to be felt by those about you. Moses' face shone so much after his secret converse with God, that the children of Israel could not well look at him; and if I meet a friend that has prevalency with God, and hear him tell the tale, I feel the glory with such inexpressible shame and guilt, that I cannot look my friend in the face; and why? because something says, "God is no respecter of persons," and that my backsliding, giddy, and foolish heart has kept back these blessings from me.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 22
(To M. B.) Paper Harrow, August 6, 1826.
Dear Cousin,
It is true I was low and gloomy when I was at your house, yet I felt a cleaving to the Lord, and a measure of hope that he would be with me; and after supper, in returning thanks, I was most sweetly comforted with his presence, and with a great sense of my own insufficiency. I had a good journey down, and found my little place retirement itself. Though not much exercised, I have been occupied with prayer, to be kept discreet and sober-minded, and have found much meekness on my spirit; and this sort of communion has, by the great goodness of God, kept me in a good place.
I was much struck with reading these words, "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for yours is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, forever and ever." It felt to me as if to fall into temptation was to fall into sin, for that I was the most foolish and weak creature possible; and the power to keep me is the Lord's, and the kingdom is his, which I long to have maintained in my heart, but which sin always puts down as to the present enjoyment of it. But when in the enjoyment of it, there is a hearty ascribing the glory to the Father, the Son, and the Spirit.
I have been sleepless and languid through the heat, but have put up many petitions not to complain, and find my past afflictions have been exceedingly sanctified, by the great goodness of God, in leading me to turn every apparent trifle into prayer.
While you seem so much exercised where to go, I think you are not yet in the spot where God designs you to be. One place I would advise you to lodge in—that is, "Let patience have her perfect work"—patiently wait, and quietly hope, for the salvation of God. Those little whispers that you hint at, I would have you attend to. They will not lead you here and there; but they will lead you, like Samuel of old, to attend, and say, "Speak, Lord, for your servant hears."
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 23
(To Mr. Nunn.) Sezincot, Oct. 1827.
Dear Friend,
I am never happy at the thought of leaving town without some token for good. While with my family on Sunday, after chapel, the Lord was pleased to draw near with all the assurances of mercy and friendship that could be conceived. The more I debased myself, the more he assured me of his favor. I could now commit my family to God; and many in the church also crowded upon my mind. O that they did but know the goodness and tenderness of our God! They would never reproach him with keeping them at a distance, but would readily acknowledge that sin alone separates between God and them.
Tell Mr. T. that such a visit as this would make the lips of him that is asleep to speak—and what will he speak? He will speak all that is good of God's name; he will exonerate God in all things, and put all darkness, confusion, distance, dryness, barrenness, and unbelief, to his own account. In these visits he will also wonder at the unbounded freeness of God's everlasting love in Christ Jesus, overtopping all our misery and sin.
To return to my subject, I cannot express to you my joyful surprise and gratitude to God, nor with what willingness I took my journey the next morning. In the coach I read Romaine's Walk of Faith, and again found many sweet and precious sips—many times in spirit lying prostrate in the dust, deeply sensible of my unprofitable life, and yet seeing my High Priest ready to atone, feeling the peaceful application of his Spirit upon my heart; and this wrought an unspeakable wonder at his picking up me—yes, unworthy me!
My prayers also were towards our little flock, that he would remember them, though separated, and hated of all, and many among them asleep in the midst of light!—some making all kinds of excuses for their continual sorrow and want of power to make clear work, and laying the fault upon God! O how I can, with all my heart, declare that he is pitiful and of tender mercy, and is very near to every one of us if haply we feel after him!
Let us consider the difference of the two parties that give us an account of the promised land. One brought an evil report; the other, precious fruit. O that men were wise!
In former days, I well remember that these visits were a seasoning for some approaching trial; and as I always fear the enemy at hand, I did, on my journey, most earnestly beseech the Lord to be beforehand with me—that he would so manage for me as not to let me play the fool; that he would keep me spiritually-minded, and that when my feet were ready to slip, he would be pleased to remember me. I wished to be in a low place, for then I knew I should not have far to fall. It is high and large expectations, lofty conceits, and towering prospects, that bring a man down in sorrow.
Tell Mr. C. that he need not go back to a certain stile near Witney for another visit from the Lord; I hope he has found even Hampstead none other than the house of God, none other than the gate of Heaven. Our God does not grudge his visits; I have the sweetest sensation on my heart while I write, declaring the inexpressible freeness of his grace. Only remember how Josiah acted when Huldah the Prophetess declared her message; may we all go and do likewise, and our end shall be peace.
Tell Mrs. N. that if she could get a little of the new wine of the kingdom which I have had this day, or, in plain language, if she could get some comfortable and friendly communion between God and her soul, it would clear up her doubtful path, and make her to know that her salvation is of God.
I have told another friend that she is spending the best period of her life without this spiritual friendship. The word says, "Occupy until I come;" the slothful professor says, I knew you were a hard master, and therefore "hid your talent in the earth; lo, there you have what is yours." Give not sleep to your eyes, nor slumber to your eyelids, until you have "found out a place for the Lord, an habitation for the mighty God of Jacob," even in your heart. Pray admit him; you will never meet with a better friend. Farewell.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 24
(To M. B.) Sezincot, 1827.
Dear Cousin,
I was very sorry on one account to hear so poor an account of yourself; yet when I see what the world is after, and the exceeding shortness and uncertainty of all things, I seem more desirous of ending my days in peace—yes, much more desirous of ending well, than of planning for life. I will endeavor to give you some reasons. Since I have been here I have had some sweet, very sweet, and precious moments; my whole heart laid out for God; no room for earthly objects, no wish for any change; persuaded that the Lord would be with me at last.
But my foolish heart soon changes; sin soon takes occasion; and I am carried where I would not, as our Savior says of Peter. Then I fret and pine after what I have lost, and bitterly complain of what I have got in exchange—spiritual dryness, barrenness, and distance; very little power to pray, and yet no heart to anything else; exceedingly mortified at the loss of the Lord's sweet presence, and (I am sorry to add, yet must tell all) feeling angry because I am so served, and thinking it hard that when I would do good, evil is allowed to be present with me.
I believe you are brought into the straits you speak of for the very purpose that you may make your calling and election sure, and may have a clearer insight into the depths of your heart. I think I find this daily more and more. We would never know what a great salvation it is, unless we were brought into these sad places. Do excuse my expressions; but were I to weep drops of blood, I could not paint out to you the grief and bitter sorrow I often feel on account of my sinful nature. Alas! what am I, and what have I done? All that I could do, and be, against the best of friends! What is He, and what has he done for me? All that he could do, and be, on behalf of the worst of enemies! "While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." They need not tell us that therefore we may live ungodly or in sin; we love his sweet presence too much for that.
Can I harm anyone by wishing him this blessed Friend, this ready Savior? O, Mr. T., let not the enemy befool you out of the presence of this kind friend; do not submit to be continually blinked by the enemy. "Is anything too hard for the Lord?" How I wish Mrs. B. could obtain admission, and for once "see the King in his beauty!" Then she would feel his power in breaking every yoke. Poor Mr. R.! I believe the Lord is with him, and will make it manifest that his deeds are wrought in God. The first trial did not seem sanctified to his wife, perhaps this will have a closer effect. As Mr. Burrell says, God now looks for fruit.
I much wish I could see spiritual life increase among our elder brethren in the church; I am persuaded it would greatly encourage the younger ones. Many get their heads well furnished, but very little dew upon the branches. The shadows of the evening are greatly lengthened with many of us, and the harvest may be past and the summer ended, before we have found a place of shelter. It shall certainly go ill with the wicked, but well with the righteous—they shall never be confounded that seek the Lord.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 25
(To M. B.) London, July, 1828.
Dear Cousin,
What you say in your letter respecting the spending of your first Sunday, I quite agree with. Unless there is an entire seeking of God and giving yourself up to that service, when thus separated from the public means, I know there will be nothing but death and confusion. If we through fear give way, and give that to man which so justly belongs to God, we shall find God will resent it, by hiding his face and making our path dark. I hope God will give you courage to spend your Sundays privately, in seeking him; wholly so.
I am truly grieved for Mrs. _______, you see in her the lamentable effect of living without the means, and having no converse with lively Christians. I hope the Lord will be pleased to direct you in your conduct and conversation with her. Pray do not enter into contention; watch the death that such things bring into the soul. Let the conversation be ever so exciting, beg of God that your words may be few, and those few attended with godly fear, not mixed with wrath and bitterness, for that will not work the righteousness of God. If the poor man knew the plague of his own heart, he would gladly hear the tale of those who have had their plague healed. He will look upon us as enemies; whereas it is not in the power of a carnal man to wish so well to him, as we in the fear of God most earnestly desire.
I have had various exercises; a deal of death, a daily cross, and many, many petitions put up, that I might not be left to backslide and grow indifferent. How unprofitable is a dead soul! All that such speak is like the white of an egg.
When the cross pinches hard, many petitions go up. This was my case yesterday; and in my pleadings and acknowledgments I found by the power of the Spirit, a perfect acceptance of the rod, and such repentance unto life as I cannot describe. I could not help saying, "Behold the goodness and severity of God"—severity against this evil heart of unbelief, but goodness and mercy towards that principle of divine life planted in the heart.
Meditating on the deadness and darkness I felt the day before, and fearing and wondering how it would end, the Lord applied with great power and sweetness these words, "Be silent," O Earth, "and let the people renew their strength" (Zechariah 2:13; Habakkuk 2:20; Isaiah 41:1).
At first I did not quite understand it, though I received it with much sweetness upon my spirit; but I soon saw that God, by his Spirit, silenced in my heart all carnal-mindedness, and all that was earthly, sensual, and devilish; and instead thereof, peace, tranquility, and godly sorrow flowed in. By this my strength was renewed, and my spirit greatly refreshed. I then soon found out the spiritual meaning of the words.
This morning at chapel, I found the text most precious, "I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you shall go," etc. (Psalm 32:8-11). The prayer was also very suitable to my wants and feeling of gratitude, and the whole was a sweet anointing for my journey tomorrow.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 26
(To M. B.) Aylesbury, July 1828.
Dear Cousin,
"Continuing instant in prayer." I see great beauty in the constant exercise of prayer; I perceive its prevalency, and that God does indeed hear us when we cry earnestly at the approach of an enemy. Communion with God is a check against levity, and a maul upon the old man of sin, on every occasion; we see what is going on within, watching every emotion of the heart, and are led to bring all our miseries to the "Fountain opened," and are made spiritually-minded, which "is life and Peace." With David we say, "I hate vain thoughts, but your law do I love."
You are now in an enemy's country, and I hope you will keep a double watch. Let me entreat you not to get into distaste with your prayer-closet; as secret prayer ebbs and flows—so will you find your spiritual strength ebb and flow. Delilah is a fair speaker, but will certainly betray us, if we are found sleeping in her lap. The lock will be cut off; and then, like Sampson, we may shake ourselves, but to our sorrow it will cost much time and labor before the lock be grown again. Only the Lord can preserve your spirit, and give you divine wisdom and discretion, that you may not prove a sport to the Philistines.
The world is very congenial to our old man; and the professing world is a sort of plaster to the carnal mind, and often hushes a benumbed conscience to sleep; but be sure to listen to every little dictate within, and brow-beat it not. Be sure you do as this inward monitor bids, and beg to be like a little child at the foot of Christ.
As I told you in my last, Enter not into contention; "Keep the door of your lips;" and let the word of God dwell richly in you; so shall you prosper.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 27
(To M. B.) Wiston Park, July 1828.
Dear Cousin,
I am with much pleasure able to inform you that I do not seek the face of God in vain. I have been in the deepest distress, but kept constantly crying to God; and though at times I find his gracious presence, at other times I tremble from head to foot with fear; but under all this cleave the more closely to him.
O what happiness to find no reproof, no rebuke! but I am bid to look at all those that have gone before me in the path of tribulation, and learn that our reproach need not be borne single-handed; our sweet privilege is to believe that our reproach fell upon Christ. May you and I consider "that though he was a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;" and may we by prayer and supplication make manifest the same in our life and conversation. Our blessed High Priest was "touched with the feeling of our infirmities," and "was in all points tempted like as we are." Such things as these are inconceivable supports (Hebrews 4:8, 15).
Thus I am occupied here, and kept with a mighty hand. My spirit is much preserved, and my trouble too complicated and severe to allow me time to trifle, and too heavy to be borne by flesh and blood.
This morning, reading the epistle to the Hebrews, I have had a sweet season; much enlargement of heart, liberty in prayer, and fresh assurances of God's loving-kindness and tender care; many accusations from the enemy, many lying predictions, and painful threatenings, which the Lord is graciously pleased to remove by some word or other on which he causes me to hope.
How sweet were these words to me today (I believe spoken by the Spirit, and imprinted on my heart), "See that you make all things according to the pattern showed you in the mount" (Hebrews 8:5).
In this mount God has often put me lately (the mount of his presence), and the pattern I there saw was to be clothed with humility, patience, meekness, temperance, and spiritual mindedness; no murmuring at God's dispensations, no sparing the flesh, no contention in the soul; see that your profiting appears in all these things. O Lord, be pleased to grant that this spirit may grow and increase more and more, that we may really walk in the enjoyment of them, is the prayer of,
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 28
(To Mr. Nunn) Wiston Park, July 1828.
My dear Friend,
The various exercises I have been under render it very difficult for me to send you an especial account, yet I cannot help endeavoring for your encouragement to tell you something of them.
I have labored under many grievous and sore conflicts; and between despair, murmuring, contention, and all such like feelings, and the fixedness of my heart in fighting against them, it has proved no small work. I have been groaning deeply under manifold sorrows, and have as it were lived in the word of God and prayer.
As I was entering my employer's garden, I seated myself privately under a large oak tree, and prayed most earnestly that the Lord would hear my cry and appear for me. I was enabled to pour out my sorrow before him; and I think I shall never forget the tender sound of these words, "TOUCHED with the feeling of our infirmities; IN ALL POINTS tempted like as we are;" and as if it further said, I am no stranger to your fears and dismay, but am with you in it all.
I cannot tell you the revolution this caused in my soul; my sins appeared like mountains, and unspeakably offensive to me, and yet broken to pieces with the sense of my standing completely justified in Christ's righteousness. On my return I could not but stop in the same corner and bless his holy Name for revealing himself so kindly and tenderly to me, and he again repeated his assurances of tenderness and care, and laid great emphasis on the word touched, as if he said, I feel and am troubled for you in all your troubles, but you shall understand my loving-kindness in all these dispensations.
All that day and all night, I had a sweet view of Christ's being near to help, and a kind friend at hand; but again I sank at once into much gloom and many fears; yet the word of God was still my food and drink. It does indeed talk to me by the way, and look at me in every direction. I said, "O Lord, what shall I do?" Be pleased to show mercy, and let not murmuring once come into my heart. O Lord, stand my friend. In this case I stood by the road side, trembling from head to foot, and these words sounded with the same tenderness as the above, "O MY FATHER." I said, "May I use these words?" Yes, doubtless, my Father, my faithful Friend in time of need. "O my Father, IF IT BE POSSIBLE let this cup pass from me." Here I was shown the lawfulness of praying to be delivered from every burden. But the next word "NEVERTHELESS" I prayed earnestly might never be forgotten by me, "Nevertheless, NOT AS I WILL, BUT AS YOU WILL" (Matthew 26.39).
How shall I describe my sensations here? This I can say, that I said with all my heart, soul, and strength—accept the punishment of my sins, and lay meekened at the footstool of Christ, crying, "Do unto me what seems good in your sight, for I perceive that truly as you have said in your word, so you are well acquainted with all our sorrows, and are very near to help, if haply we feel after you."
I was sweetly instructed again in reading the following words, and cannot describe to you the compassion and tenderness with which the Lord was pleased to bring them, as if he really felt every trial I was under just as I did. "These things have I told you, that when the time shall come you may remember that I told you of them" (John 16.4). That is, that when you are in your trouble, you may not be taken by surprise, but remember that I told you before, that it would come. Yes, Lord, I said, by your grace I do remember you did once tell me that, "Bonds and afflictions abide me in every place;" but I did not know that I would meet with such heart-breaking compassion, and that the consolations should so certainly abound, as the tribulation increased.
Can I praise the Lord enough for all his goodness to me? I need an eternity to show forth all his praise, and words to declare my gratitude. If others did but know even what I do, of the preciousness of this salvation—they could not "tarry in all the plain" of this world, but must come to this Friend of sinners, this present help in every time of need. O how I long to persuade such as feel their need of help, to come as I came (most wretched); then they will find as I have found, that "He is able to save to the UTTERMOST."
Tell Mrs. N. I can well recommend this way; it is a safe way, "A tried stone, a precious corner stone, a sure foundation." When I lie awake in the night, the thoughts of his goodness and care break my heart, and keep my spirit as a weaned child. The watchfulness which he is pleased to create, makes me not to lose many opportunities of prayer and reading his word. I am made to go on from day to day trembling exceedingly, and when I get into these gloomy fears, they seem doubled by a sense of my ingratitude and unbelief; yet out of the depths I cry, and the Lord hears me!
Remember me most kindly to the church, and believe me to remain,
Yours faithfully, James Bourne
Letter 29
(To M. B.) Wiston Park, July 1828.
Dear Cousin,
Since I wrote last I have again been greatly exercised, insomuch as almost to lose my sleep—being quite broken-hearted, and despairing of the help of God, although I have lately experienced so much of his goodness. I feel greatly ashamed to write it, but it is too true. I said, "Let me not displease you by coming so often with my troubles, nor grieve you with my continual complaints." In this I found some compunction, and was satisfied I did not offend nor displease the Lord by so doing, but that he did attend to my cry.
This morning, in my employer's carriage, I was meditating on my lack of patience, my murmuring thoughts, and discontented feelings, and all such like misery; and I could not help saying to myself, Lord, by your holy fear, and the Spirit helping my infirmities, I would not give place one moment to these things; and these words were sweetly and powerfully whispered in my ears, "We are MORE THAN CONQUERORS, through him that has loved us." This broke my heart; I could not help weeping, though in so public a place, and knew not how or where to hide my face.
Here I saw the inhabitants of the world less than a drop of a bucket, and myself safe in Christ Jesus; the cross and the crown closely bound together; tribulation in the world, but peace in him. The world is mad; I would be worse, if not thus violently plucked as a brand from the burning.
Mine is a painful path just now, but surrounded with mercies and blessings—no frowns from a gracious God in Christ; many sorrows and much grief, but such indescribable tenderness and pity as passes all conception. If I had not found it so, I must have sunk into despair.
I would by all means entreat you to cleave to God; let his word be your rich treasure, and by that he will instruct and comfort you. How sweet it is to have communion with God, and for his word to look at you, with helps and smiles, in every direction!
What the Lord is about to do with me I know not. I desire at all times to remember the word, Nevertheless. Let me pray for what I may, I would wish, "Nevertheless, not my will, but yours be done."
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 30
(To M. B.) Batsford, August 12, 1828.
Dear Cousin,
I had some comfortable tokens for good the night before I left home, and found I was at peace with God; nor was I without them on my journey, though oftentimes exceedingly mournful, bowed down under a daily cross. My happiness is that these things do not leave me without hope, but lead me more earnestly to keep close to God. I daily see more and more, that it is through much tribulation I must enter the kingdom, and this shuts my mouth against self-pity or repining. When such a spirit shows itself, then my sins appear and the desert due to them; but godly fear steps in and justifies God, and I am silent.
It is good, very good, for me, that I have been afflicted, for it makes me to consider, both in adversity and prosperity; it separates me from the world and the spirit of it. The word of God is precious and faith increases, so as to believe more both the promises and the threatenings.
The Lord is pleased to instruct me with a strong hand, and does not allow me to go far astray; but I am soon fetched back by the noise of a tempest, and often return with bitter weeping and lamentation. I think if he were to turn his back upon me, I would very soon sink into despair.
How much I see of the reality of religion! Far beyond my utmost power to describe. For a creature, defiled with sin in every way, to walk with God in peace and equity, is a mystery the world cannot get hold of.
Here I must transcribe what I read with all my heart, and felt most sweetly this morning, in Romaine's Walk of Faith, "May I ever have grace to draw near to my reconciled Father with a good conscience. Yes, Lord, it is my heart's desire. I would walk with you day by day in perfect peace. O deny me not the request of my lips! Glory be to your free love, that through Jesus I am allowed to have access into your presence, and am commanded to come with boldness into the holiest of all."
Let the blood of sprinkling be applied effectually and continually; a sense of this will produce steadfastness in our walk, lightening the daily cross, and giving a hearty acceptance of all God's righteous dispensations. I perceive the flesh strives hard for the mastery, but God's mighty power is such as to bring down every lofty imagination. May you and I wisely take counsel, that we may escape the storm that threatens the whole world. "Enter into the rock, and hide in the dust" (that is, be very low) "for fear of the Lord, and for the glory of his majesty." For the day of the Lord is at hand, and we shall all find his word to be true (Isaiah 2:10-22).
Give my Christian love to Mr. and Mrs. Nunn. My heart's desire and prayer is that they may be saved. I perceive the battle to be hard, and am often reminded of these words, "I will show him how great things he must suffer for my Name's sake." I sometimes have much encouragement in believing the first clause and the last, but tremble exceedingly at the whole.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 31
(To M. B.) Worthing, 31 August 1828.
Dear Cousin,
I have finished my fortnight's employment at Wiston Park, with the severest conflict I have known for many years, and the sweetest assurance of God's tenderness and care. It has been exceedingly painful to flesh and blood, but very establishing to my soul. On my arrival here I was taken suddenly with a very severe rheumatic attack, and have scarcely been able to move; yet, under all the pain, I find the peace of God ruling in my heart and conscience; living under a sweet sense of the tender care of a reconciled God in Christ Jesus. The evil of my nature, and the sin of my life, appear to raise insurmountable mountains against hope and faith. Were my salvation to be wrought out by myself, I would have fainted long since; but in the Lord I find righteousness and strength.
Communion with him in reading and prayer is an inconceivable privilege, and this he graciously permits me to enjoy. I began this Sabbath with such a rest as is a pledge of that heavenly and uninterrupted rest which we shall have with Christ to all eternity.
I think of you all as you are now assembling for worship. May the Holy Spirit be with you all, as he is with me. May we be filled with holy fear while we ponder these words, "Unto whoever much is given, of him shall be much required." May we earnestly seek to God, that the fruits of the Spirit may be in us and abound to his glory, our comfort, and the good of his church at large.
How I desire that some of our weak ones may take courage from the dispensations which I have been under, and am, which are both dark and severe; yet, by laboring in the Spirit I have found by the blessing of God, eternal light and life spring up more abundantly than ever I knew before. And so I must be put among the number of those who are represented saying, "Amen. Blessing and glory, and wisdom, and thanksgiving, and honor, and power, and might, be unto our God forever and ever! Amen." And when it was asked, "Who are these which are arrayed in white robes, and whence came they?" it was said (and here also am I), "These are they which came out of great tribulation, and have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb." O happy, happy lot! I have lately rejoiced at tribulation, and under every load could not help crying out, "The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places; yes, I have a goodly heritage!" Yes; God can soften the hardest heart, and make the proudest spirit bow. He has done it in a measure to me, and then tells me that a broken and contrite spirit he does not despise.
I write in great bodily pain, but my heart is set upon these things; and if I should hold my peace, the very stones would cry out against me.
What you complain of, that the body of sin and death is still mighty in you, does not appear as an evidence against you, if the conflict is sharp against it; because whatever makes manifest is light. God shows you the evil of your heart, and your privilege is to beg for the powerful quickening influence of his Spirit to come to Christ, the fountain of life; and when this life is imparted to the soul, and brings in the love of God, then all your bondage breaks; and though you see yourself still worse, yet having Christ for your surety, righteousness, and strength, you will find in the application nothing but friendship and peace.
I do hope that Mrs. B. may be profited by the affliction I have lately been in, and that there is that earnestness which will never wholly wear off, until she finds rest in Christ Jesus. Please remember me to Mr. and Mrs. Nunn I am often with them in the spirit, as also with the rest of the church.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 32
(To M. B.) Sezincot, 1828.
Dear Cousin,
In my visit here I see something of that awful place of danger out of which God took me when living in the spirit of this world. God is not in all their thoughts; another world is never thought of, nor hoped for. I cannot express to you how I feel, first, the everlasting destruction from the presence of God; then the being plucked as a brand from the burning; then the walking with God in friendship here; and then the everlasting life, when this scene of trial and tribulation is over. Seeing these things are so, "what manner of persons ought we to be in all holy conversation and godliness?"
If God has been pleased to give us a principle of divine life, how we should continually watch its motions, and be on the alert to follow whatever the Spirit dictates! "God speaks once, yes, twice, yet man perceives it not." Even in deep sleep, there is an awful voice in that: "What do you mean, O sleeper? Arise, and call upon your God, that he may think upon us that we perish not" (Jonah 1:6). And let the voice be what it may, whether in judgment or mercy, by giving a listening ear we shall find that communion with God is kept up.
It is said of some, that as they did not regard his voice, so when they cry he will not hear (Zechariah 7:13). May the Lord keep us ever tender and obedient, "for our God is a consuming fire" to us all. If we belong to him, he will by his fire consume our dross, and this is exceedingly painful to flesh and blood; and if we belong not to him, he will consume us altogether. How people can go on long, without knowing in some measure on whose side they are, I know not; I think their sensations are not very keen, nor can sin have been made "exceeding sinful" to them, nor can they know anything of the justice and holiness of our God.
O how sweetly do all these attributes harmonize in Christ Jesus, and in the sinner's conscience when purified! His justice, righteousness and holiness, his sovereignty and power, seemed all combined in the behalf of a poor repenting sinner; so far from dreading these tremendous attributes, I see them as so many sweet causes and the safe ground of my hope, and I am then lost in the admiration of such a Friend, who loves at all times, and will make all things work for my good, and bring about my everlasting salvation.
Surrounded with the tokens of mortality in my body, and fifty-five years old, I cannot be long here. I daily ponder how I shall spend my last hours. I have sometimes a sweet view of God's helping hand, and that though pain and sickness may make both heart and flesh to fail, yet our God, reconciled in Christ Jesus, will be our portion, and the strength of our heart. Our happiness is in keeping up communion now, and leaving no sin unrepented of, that whenever he is pleased to knock, we may be ready to open.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 33
(To Mrs. Bourne) Sezincot, 2 November 1828.
My dear Wife,
Of late I have much meditated on my summer's affliction, and I think I find much sober-mindedness and steadiness in the reflection. I am not in the same piercing trouble as then, and therefore have not the same conspicuous deliverances. My latter end is not often out of sight; many infirmities bring it to me; nor can any earthly thing whatever beguile me to think of being here forever, like the foolish world.
I have been sweetly entertained with Joshua's account of the passing through Jordan. The Ark of the Covenant was to be there. I pictured to myself my dying hour; and faith seemed to spring up unawares, and make the personal application as I read on. When we come to the brink, Christ our ark shall pass before us. As soon as we touch the brim, that is, I thought, as soon as our fears and dismay should seize us, the waters shall divide hither and thither, and our standing shall be firm as there described. What repentance and heavenly joy, what praises and acknowledgments, what wonder and amazement we feel! What looking within and without there is, to search out anything and everything that may be a hindrance!
Let me entreat you to let slip no opportunity that God is pleased to put into your hands, but as it offers, so be diligent in seeking. I mean, if you find the least drawing, at once run after him; if any meekness of spirit, beg for all shyness to be removed, and all quarrels to be made up. Do not begin to say, I said a word too much here, I was wrong there; this thought was unbecoming, and that inclination ungodly. O no! but come altogether as a guilty sinner, and confess your utter folly and sinfulness, and beg power to fall before him. Confess that you are always wrong, and that you were always wrong. Pray don't pick out things, and say you were right here or there, though to be sure you were wrong in something else. This is our calamity, "holding back a part of the price", not made honest to the bottom; and in these things deceiving ourselves, not knowing that "the heart is deceitful above all things". Therefore I entreat you to take every advantage of the least opening or budding hope, and stay not until you can come a little better; for I am sure you will never come, but as being worse and worse.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 34
(To Mr. Nunn) Tunbridge Wells, 16 August 1829.
Dear Friend,
Although I hear but little of you, my mind is much occupied about you all. I shall not therefore wait for any letter, but send you some little account how I go on. I am through mercy much better in health, and free from pain; my eye is a little worse, but I have many secret reasons for believing that this is not forgotten by the Lord.
I think I never felt a greater desire to maintain communion with God, night and day watching the various influences that pass upon my soul, and my feelings under the absence of my best Friend, and the way in which a returning spirit is given to me. In reading the last chapter of Mark, I found these words: "Tell his disciples and Peter that he goes before you." As soon as I had named the word Peter, I cannot tell you the sensation of peace and friendship I found. It sounded in my heart, as if it said: Tell James Bourne I go before you to guide you and comfort you; in every affliction, temptation, and grief, I go before you and will be with you, and sustain you. Nothing shall be too hard for the Lord; nothing shall be too hard for you.
I would not know how to manage with my employers here, unless the Lord went before me. These little matters of business were the subject of earnest prayer before I entered the family; and I watched the Lord's hand, and before the day was over, they expressed great surprise at the sudden improvement they had made. These things much encourage me to bring greater matters to the Lord; and all contribute to endear him to me.
In the early part of my profession, especially, I saw and understood but little of the exceeding sinfulness of sin, and the manner in which God knows and notices everything. I am sure it must be (at least I hope it is) in God's light that I discern my guilty fallen condition, far beyond my power of describing, and often wonder how I can ever be brought back to Christ's fold; and I really think there are none among us so unfaithful as myself. But "his compassions fail not;" and this made Jesus send the message to Peter, especially by name, that he would go before him, though he had so basely denied the Lord, lest he should have sorrow upon sorrow, and think: Though Christ says he will go before the disciples, he does not mean me. The sense of this kindness broke my heart, and I would wish it might ever remain so broken.
How it would comfort my heart to hear that friend T. could attain to some consolation in his distressing case! I seldom go upon my knees but there seems a goodly company of you presented to my mind, for whom I desire most earnestly that the Lord would appear.
Our time here is short. I wish you would notice Luke 21:34-36. I have often waked in the night with much darkness and dread upon my spirits, and felt as if I could not "stand before the Son of man"; and that the last trial would prove it so. At such a time fears and reasoning seem quite to dismay me, but something here invites my attention by way of solemn caution, not to be overcharged; for that day shall come unawares, "as a snare shall it come upon all", good and bad; but it is in vain to set a snare in the sight of any bird; and it is only by watching and giving ourselves to prayer that we shall be able to stand before the Son of man.
The Lord says, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock" (Revelation 3:20). The question is, How is the door to be opened? Flesh cannot open it; and we see that the power of God is not alike displayed to all his people, so as at once to open it. Now just at this point I have lately been considering the absolute necessity of acknowledging that my sin shuts the door and bars it; my folly keeps it so, and my enmity clenches it with the old idle excuse that God is Sovereign.
It was only yesterday that I had light upon this subject, in the following text, with sweet acquiescence in my spirit: "God will not allow you to be tempted above that you are able, but will with the temptation also make a way to escape" (1 Corinthians 10:13).
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 35
(To M. B.) Derby, 29 August 1829.
Dear Cousin,
I left your party reluctantly, but I saw the providence of God open another way; and I hope ever to be found above all things watching the Lord's leading. "Who shall harm you, if you are followers of that which is good?" I was very low at the thoughts of coming here, and wept when I left my door in Somerset Street, fearing many things, especially lest I should have to perform my journey at my own charges; yet seeking to commit my way to him, in whom alone is safety. It was chapel night, and my heart was there; I seemed torn from the people and worship of God. When I arrived at Lad Lane, a band of music struck up. The whole world seemed intoxicated, and because I wanted a Savior, and desired to be sober, I seemed as strange as Christian and Faithful in Vanity Fair. However, I was brought to much contrition and godly sorrow, wondering at the mercy which left me not in a giddy world to sorrow out my days in lying vanities, and despair at last; and in this frame I felt more satisfied to start.
I have met with the most comfortable lodgings that can be, private and airy; but my spiritual exercises have been new and strange to me. My thoughts became so scattered and unsettled that I could not read a line in the Bible with my mind upon it. As soon as I made the attempt I was gone upon some idle wandering. The same in prayer; not one sentence from the heart; as soon as on my knees, my thoughts were gone; and when recovered, not retained one moment. This went on until Friday evening, and I wondered whereto it would grow. Though all power of seeking deliverance seemed taken away, I did not give up, but in the lamest way possible begged mercy and showed the Lord Jesus my trouble; and the first sensation of relief came in reading these words: "Unto you will I cry, O Lord my Rock; be not silent unto me, lest if you be silent unto me, I become like them that go down into the pit" (Psalm 28:1).
It was this silence that I feared, lest the Lord would not speak to me, either reproof or encouragement. But now he was pleased to whisper that he was not far off; I found the Word sweet, and not so sealed. But the next morning the temptation returned more than ever, and I was greatly troubled, for my will was not with my wandering. I had light left to see the hypocrisy of uttering words and having my heart at the ends of the earth. I spent much time in prayer, continually begging that this temptation might be removed, but all with scattered thoughts, and wondering where it would end; at one time resolutely bent that by the help of God I both must and would pray myself out of this wretched state; and then again so confused in my mind as if the enemy were resolved I should not.
At last Saturday evening came, and bedtime, and I said, Lord, give me patience, but must I go to bed, and this night too, and have no look nor smile from you? And while on my knees by the bedside the Lord was pleased to come, and drive out all these occupiers of his temple, and give me such holy repentance, and such assurances of favor as I cannot well describe. Glory, glory be to his holy name, for such a Savior!
How I pity those who are left all the year round in the place I have been in! My temptation proves to me my weakness and sin on every side; it also shows me the privilege and absolute necessity of prevailing with God in prayer.
I hope I shall hear that you have proved the truth of this scripture, "The soul of the diligent shall be made fat." Pray let not your eyes and heart be caught by the vanity of the place you are now in. If God has sent you there, prove it by an increase of spiritual growth. I know you cannot by any other means be sure that it is God who says, "Fear not to go down into Egypt . . . I will go down with you" (Genesis 46:3, 4). Mind the last sentence, and see that you find the fulfillment of it, without any ifs or buts; and let your profiting appear. May the Lord bless you.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 36
(To Mr. Nunn) Derby, 6 September 1829.
Dear Friend,
I know nothing more endearing than those secret intimations of the Spirit's returning into a sinner's heart, after a long and laborious seeking him. O what humbling sensations it produces! How low we lie at the footstool of Christ, and adore him for his great condescension! How wretched we feel our lost condition, and are amazed at the merciful plan of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, in the salvation of such sinful worms!
I am ashamed and confounded at my unfaithfulness in every direction, and I think a sight of this keeps me feelingly crying to the Lord Jesus Christ for mercy and help. I often fear he will never soften my hard heart any more, and I am quite astonished at the means he makes use of for that purpose, which is a deep sight of my nature's evil, mixed with sore repentance and a belief that I am gone forever—unless his free, rich, and sovereign grace be bestowed upon unworthy me!
I am now separated from friends, and from the church, but not separated from the Word, nor from that "little Sanctuary" which God has promised to be to his people, wherever he carries them. Surrounded with temptations, and often feeling much distance, and many fears, I find it hard fighting, especially if the throne of grace is inaccessible. While that is clear, I feel power to cast my burdens upon the Lord, but if sin causes him to depart, then I seem to toil all night, and get nothing.
As I think much of this, so I would counsel every one to be very tender and fearful, that they do not bar their hearts against the Holy Spirit. I am sure it is hard work rowing against wind and tide. It doubles all our afflictions, and causes a wrong construction to be put upon all the dispensations of God; everything has a wrong coloring, and we get further and further from the light, while we continue in this painful path.
O what of some of our friends, who seem to be almost all the year round in this place? I wish they would believe me, that the Lord is very near, "if haply we feel after him", with all the heart.
How often has he whispered peace to me since I have been here! I have to bless his holy name forever, for what he has done for me; empty, void, and waste, he has really filled me with many good things. The more I see of the riches and vanity of this life, in the way of my business, the more I wonder at the discriminating grace of God; and while I pity the portion of the great, I do from my very soul adore Father, Son, and Spirit, for the great salvation brought home to my soul. Yes, not only "an inheritance that fades not away, reserved in Heaven", but I have found him (blessed be his holy name) a help in trouble in this life, a good Physician, a beloved Friend, a wise Counselor, who has never left me to plead my own cause, or to pay my own costs. I know not how to stop, for my heart is much impressed with a sense of his goodness, and I really find the truth of his promise, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."
Do tell those friends that do not venture to come, tell them how kind the Lord is, more ready to hear than we are to pray. "The end of all things is at hand," and I am sure we cannot struggle through without his help; and (what is more) if we know how sweet his presence is, we shall not wish to do so.
With every kind remembrance to the church, and the pastor at the head of them, who are I believe at this moment assembled for public worship, in which my spirit joins most sweetly and cordially,
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 37
(To M. B.) Alderwasley, 13 September 1829.
Dear Cousin,
I hope your next account will be better, your health mended, and your mind more settled. I have had hard work, and sometimes have thought I would never more see a friend in this world. I would not willingly go so far from home again, but I must not choose; it was by faith Enoch walked with God, and I must walk in the same steps, if I walk safely or wisely.
But alas! I seem to have got into Bye-path meadow, and there is no way out; to be fast confined in Doubting Castle, and unable to move hand or foot. I look back on many marvelous helps and deliverances, but they seem to add to my sorrow. I can only think of my ingratitude, which has caused the Lord to hide himself behind such an impenetrable cloud. I am not indifferent, but my labor seems only in the flesh.
When I left Derby I had no small difficulty, but was very anxious not to leave without some token of God's goodness and gracious care, and he was pleased to greatly comfort me; but when I came here, all was gone, and there seemed no possibility of finding him whom my soul loves. I seemed quite forgotten; but since I wrote the above, while making my lamentations known unto him, and condemning myself every way—the Lord Jesus was pleased to appear, and break my heart with a sweeter sense of his mercy than I had found this summer before.
How wisely does he do all things! How low his goodness and mercy make us! How we feel ourselves nothing, like a moth, and yet saved in Christ Jesus with an everlasting salvation! May this be an encouragement to you, and as a counsel to my children to walk in those steps that lead to eternal life. My day is over; theirs will soon be so too. The giddy multitude, old and young, are now passing my window (though Sunday). Discriminating grace has changed my heart, and makes me see death and destruction the end of their ways; and the way in which he leads me, the safe way to eternal life. O Lord, be pleased to teach my children this way, and show them your salvation.
With kindest love to all,
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 38
(To a Friend) Sezincot, 11 October 1829.
Dear Friend,
I was very unfit for my journey when I left home, but, thank God, my health is no worse, though my cold mends very slowly. But I find a cold in the heart once caught is both more lingering and worse to bear than the other. It seems to disarm me of all the means either of present cure or future prevention; and until it pleases God to quicken my soul afresh, I seem to lie in a stupor bemoaning my folly, and feeling that it has perverted my way.
The word I spoke to you the other night was very beautiful to me, "The Lord is near unto such as be of a broken heart;" but my heart was not sensibly broken; I saw and admired the rich fruit upon the tree, but there was a wall between it and me. So I went my journey, sometimes hoping, often fearing, and feeling a great readiness to dishonor God by my unbelief.
The evening I arrived here I opened the Bible, but thought I could find nothing new, nothing suitable, and that the Lord would not look upon me as he was accustomed. I opened at Proverbs 3, and he was pleased to soften my heart greatly with these words, "My son, forget not my law, but let your heart keep my commandments; for length of days and long life and peace shall they add to you", long spiritual and eternal life, and peace that passes all understanding. And what are his commandments? "Let not mercy and truth forsake you", that is, Christ, "the way, the truth, and the life". Slight him not by a carnal worldly spirit. "Love not the world, nor the things that are in it." Let faith as a chain grace your neck, let love keep him close in your heart. "So shall you find favor and good understanding in the sight of God and man."
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart"; let not sin work faith out of your heart: "and lean not unto your own understanding", no, not in secret prayer. Let not your heart deceive you in partly seeking God, and partly leaning to self. How wise and needful is this counsel, and how seldom watched! Neglect of this stops more prayers than we are aware of.
But it goes on, "In all your ways acknowledge him;" and then comes the promise, "he shall direct your paths." These are the steps that never slide (Psalm 37:31).
O sweet Counselor! heavenly Guide! thus to tutor and direct a worm. "Be not wise in your own eyes", in your own fleshly conceit; but "fear the Lord, and depart from evil." And then the whole of it is summed up in this sweet spiritual and divine promise, "it shall be health to your body and marrow to your bones."
My heart really melts with love and gratitude for the Lord's gracious dealings with me, a poor abject and afflicted sinner; kept by the mighty power of God; regarded in the lowest place; picked up and restored like the lost sheep in the wilderness.
I have often thought of your case, and the trials you have lately been in. How little in our own eyes these things make us feel! How the Lord resents and resists flesh and blood in every direction! He breaks our hard and stubborn hearts, and gives us contrite spirits, and then shows us that he delights in such, and beholds them in Christ Jesus. May you and I be enabled to keep close to him by prayer and meditation, and be found watching when he comes. I feel my body mortal more and more daily, and have many serious thoughts of my latter end, how it will be; and the best way to meet it is to live a watchful life, and endeavor to keep up communion now.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 39
(To Mr. Nunn) Godalming, July 1830.
My dear Friend,
I am often meditating on the various cases in our church, and sometimes foolishly measuring myself by them, ready to conclude that because I have not those bright and solid evidences which our friend Mr. Draper picks up in the furnace of affliction, I have not yet found the real thing; or that because I am not so low and despairing as some, in this also I am not in the footsteps of the flock.
Yet the Word of God is very precious to me, and I cannot but call to mind the sore troubles that have befallen me, and the wonderful deliverances God has wrought for me.
In coming here I met with many difficulties for the trial of patience, but the Lord made me watch; so that instead of haste, there was watchfulness; and instead of disappointment, nothing but the good hand of God appeared. You will be ready to say, What then? I was afraid it was too smooth; here also the Lord fore-armed me with much suspicion and godly fear, and many petitions that he would guard my heart and spirit. For you and I well know that indiscretion and imprudence cause the Lord to hide his face. We have been so often burnt in this fire, that we have, by the grace of God, a spiritual dread of it. By these means my present path has been sweetly cleared.
I had a good day on Sunday, though I was not so abundantly comforted, nor had any word powerfully spoken; yet I had much godly fear and humble confidence in the mercy of God in Christ, and could feel that he had done all things well, and would give me "an expected end".
As it respects the church affairs, my spirit was so meekened, that I have not a will in the flesh about it, but it seems quite left with God to do as it seems good to him. I shall be happy to put my name, in the fear of God, to any whom the church appoints (to be Deacon); and I trust if I am nominated, the Lord will more fully show me his will concerning it. Bonds and afflictions abide us in every place and in every situation.
I fear party spirit greatly, and am sorry to say that it requires no small affliction to drive it out. I think one of the greatest mercies God bestows is a spirit that is quickly meekened, and falls quickly into contrition and repentance. But alas! Mr. Will-be-will is always at my elbow, ready to give his advice gratis, and something within me is ready to take it.
A place where we are nothing, is hard to find; I dread beforehand, on every occasion, I shall fail in this. May the good Lord make you and me willing to be nothing, and then we shall be, through his Spirit, fit for anything that may meet us.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 40
(To M. B.) Purfleet, 12 September 1830.
Dear Cousin,
I am the subject of many changes. I do not remember the time when I had such a sweet journey as in coming here. It brings to my mind the pleasant week I spent at Greenhithe, the many tokens of God's favor towards me, and the peace of mind that kept pace with them. I now have many conflicts, and not a few difficulties; my peace is often disturbed but I am made to believe the Lord has "not done without cause" all that he has done to me; and this brings in deep humiliation.
Luther tells us that these changes are often upon us, in order that we may not dash our heads against the heavens, in the day of prosperity; nor our feet against the earth, in adversity.
I have no wish to give way to unbelief, but feel full fraught with a determination that the more desperate my case looks, the more I will cry to the Lord for help; and I have occasional sweetness in perceiving that he is touched with the feeling of our infirmities, and therefore not only knows how to support such as are tempted, but is more ready to help than we to pray. "For that your name is near, your wondrous works declare" (Psalm 75:1).
What (say you) are his wondrous works? I will tell you a few that he has wrought in me. He has made me say, with David, "I opened not my mouth, because you are the one who has done this!" (Psalm 39:9). This is one, and it is called by many names, such as patience, longsuffering, resignation, submission; add to this a step further, a meek and quiet spirit, deep humiliation under a sense of a sinful nature, contrition of spirit, a sore heart under any offence offered to his gracious Majesty; and among many more, I must add one step further, a hearty acceptance of the rod upon the old man, a glorious sense of God's mercy in Christ Jesus working a complete dominion over the will and affections, a rejoicing in this sweet salvation, though surrounded with all sorts of difficulties, and a looking to the end of our race with a hope full of immortality.
Blessed be God, I write none other things than such as the Holy Spirit has wrought in my heart, and I have the clearest understanding of. I cannot wish you a better portion than to be in the full possession of the same.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 41
(To a Friend) London, May 1831.
My dear Friend,
Mr. Burrell, in consequence of the conduct of _______, took his text as follows: "By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one to another" (John 13:35). He began by saying that it was in consequence of one in the church who he feared had made a breach in spirit. I never heard him more powerful and solid. He told us that Judas had his feet washed, as well as the beloved disciple John, but that it was only an outward washing. None of them seemed to know what Judas was about, not even when Jesus said to him, "What you do, do quickly."
Men may carry on a profession many years with their feet washed, yet with secret enmity, conceit and independence lurking in the heart, as Ahithophel long possessed the confidence of David, though in heart set against him; but at last it is brought to light and made manifest, and sometimes by a very slight circumstance.
I rose this morning with much heaviness, and was very dark in prayer, and greatly feared I should have nothing to say to my family. In reading Matthew 24, I had no sooner begun than I found the Spirit helping my infirmity. The mourners in verse 30 ("Then shall all the tribes of the earth mourn") I could not help describing as those who should "see the Son of man come with power and great glory". The power is his judgment, and the sensible anger which poor sinners feel; and those that feel it shall certainly, sooner or later, understand his glory. The angels with the trumpets are the servants of God, preaching the word of life. The branch that "is tender and puts forth leaves" sets forth the extreme tenderness of those that are in soul trouble, anxious to lay aside everything that they conceive to be displeasing to God. Such may know, or be assured, that summer is near, that Jesus Christ is near at hand to heal. I cannot tell you the power and sweetness I felt, and the assurance of God's Spirit that he had chosen me, and made me to rejoice in his salvation, and greatly to hope that he would be with my children.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 42
(To a Friend) 1831.
Dear Friend,
I cannot help writing to tell you, that though I am surrounded with difficulties, yet I would not have my path other than just what it is; only that my unbelief might forever depart. In reading that ever to be remembered chapter, Genesis 28, I have had such a sweet sense of the unchangeableness of God's power, love, mercy, and faithfulness, as I never felt before. How sweetly could I, by the help of God's most Holy Spirit, climb up to the very top of that ladder! Stones have been my pillow some time; and, instead of envying, I learn to pity such as have downy pillows. There is no place so fruitful as the furnace; no way so safe as to take first the lowest step of the ladder. Precious 15th verse! ("Behold, I am with you, and will keep you in all places where you go, and will bring you again into this land; for I will not leave you, until I have done what which I have spoken to you of.")
My heart is too full to explain anything; but I find that every dreadful place into which the Lord brings me proves eventually none other than "the gate of Heaven". When destruction is threatened on all hands, then the Lord says, "Lift up your heads, for your redemption draws near" (Luke 21:28). I know not how to debase myself enough! With what holy reverence and godly fear I draw near! Not with slavish fear, but at a loss how to crouch low enough, or to honor his holy name enough, for noticing one so unholy. Sin is hateful, and I cannot forgive myself, yet mercy is so sweet, that I cannot but adore his love. Precious, precious word! It has been more to me than life itself. Read the chapter, and see if it will not fit you as well as me; and may the name of the God of Jacob defend you.
This is the sincere prayer of your unworthy friend, James Bourne
Letter 43
(To his Daughters H. P. and H. etc.) Brighton, 31 October 1831.
My dear Children,
I write this to you, and to Mrs. J. and cousin Mary. I am under various exercises here; often so cast down as to wonder whereto it will grow, and now and then so comforted and supported as to believe the Lord is doing nothing with me or for me but good. But to say this from the heart, when his heavy hand is upon me, I find to be very hard; yet all things are possible with God.
I was sweetly melted in reading Isaiah 53, especially the words "stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted". It reconciled me to all my troubles; I perceived I was treading in the steps of the Lord Jesus Christ, especially by that spiritual patience and tender watchfulness which I perceive he creates in me. The chapter begins in a low key, but how beautifully everything brightens up! "The pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand;" and under "the travail of his soul" we who are by nature poor barren souls, are to "break forth into singing", to fear none of those afflictions which come upon us, for we shall never be ashamed nor confounded.
The exercises which cousin Mary is under, are not strange to me; for I perceive that by means of them, spiritual life is kept up; and every succeeding wave brings us nearer to the heavenly Canaan. Nothing can equal the sweet light and clear perception of God's tenderness and care which I find in those visits which he pays me in the furnace; whenever I touch upon this subject, I know not where to end in speaking his praises; and I can add, "Fear not, little flock; it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom." His good pleasure overtops all our mountains of difficulties.
The Lord has brought forth these sweet things out of much bitterness, through the means of a faithful ministry. Our sores have been deeply probed; and we have found a sound healing in that very point, at which many have been offended, and have left. We too have been asked, "Will you also go away?" The unseen and unknown hand of God has prevented this, and we are now reaping the rich fruit of following the Lamb, though through much tribulation, yet through much light and comfort, with a good hope of a better inheritance. Therefore we ought to be continually praying for the prosperity of our minister; also that the government may prosper, and that we may have our privileges continued.
I must say I am a wonder to myself, that while I thus feel my heart supported and defended and abounding in hope, yet all my troubles are still upon me and about me. What is there like the true grace of God? It is health in sickness, life in death, true riches in poverty, patience in tribulation. May the Lord cause all these things to abound in you all; may he have a kind remembrance of you in your troubles, and so sanctify them that they shall yield the peaceable fruits of righteousness. This will be the way he will get all the glory.
Your affectionate father, James Bourne
Letter 44
(To a Lady of Rank) London, 20 May 1832.
Madam,
I am quite at a loss to express my feelings for your repeated kindness to my family. I am happy to say my eldest daughter is much more satisfied in her mind, and shows the safety of a slow progressive work, while I have often seen that scripture verified which compares a quick falling into religious notions to the grass on the housetops, or seed sown by the wayside.
I hope your Ladyship will forgive me, but I am sure that there are some among your family that have an ear to listen to these things. You all know what it is to be great in this world; but if by the true grace of God you should become little in your own eyes, but highly prized by the Lord Jesus Christ, this would be a higher sort of greatness, and you would possess a better and more enduring inheritance.
Greatness in this world may procure a down pillow for a sick bed, but to be partakers of the true riches will procure peace in the soul, even in the most abject poverty; and I conceive there cannot be a greater difficulty than for such as are of your Ladyship's rank to feel that they are nothing but vanity, and as such to come to the Lord Jesus Christ, and receive as a free bounty all that he has to bestow.
I perceive this kingdom is filled with a profession that is for the most part held with pride and independence of God. True religion is a much more deep and spiritual thing than it is at first sight judged to be. I have found it to be one continued crucifixion of all the wants, desires, prospects, and vanities of this natural heart of mine. I have found this crucifixion to be a very lingering death, and often when I have thought myself brought down in much humility, fresh light has discovered manifold hidden corruptions that cannot live, nor be allowed to dwell in the renewed heart. God and Mammon cannot live in the same house.
Seven years ago and upwards, when I was at your Ladyship's house, I was, and had been, very ill, and often under the greatest alarm lest I should not find the Lord to be gracious to me in the time of death; and many places can bear witness to the secret and trembling petitions I put up to the Lord to help me; and I assure you I had many sweet spiritual answers of peace and hope, that he would never leave me nor forsake me.
Since then I have been restored to health, and thank God he has not allowed me to forget the happiness of considering my latter end. I have been, and am surrounded with many trials, but having such a Friend to go to I am sustained, and can truly say that while the world, and this nation in particular, is filled with tumults and confusion of all sorts, I am preserved in Christ Jesus under the most heavenly calm you can conceive.
Something seems to say, How dare you write in such a manner? I can but reply, Because I cannot help thinking there are some among your party that understand what the Bread of Heaven means, and are often hungry for want of a morsel of it. To such I write, and would gladly exhort them to be much in earnest; for let not a wavering mind expect to find anything from the Lord.
I am, etc. James Bourne
Letter 45
(To M. B.) Tunbridge, 29 July 1832.
Dear Cousin,
You are often upon my mind, especially concerning those matters you have often spoken to me of. I am now residing with a very numerous family, and have wondered to see that whatever occurs to the children, they are perpetually running to their parents to tell them.
Dr. Owen asks, "Do you distinctly go to God, upon all occasions, to have light and judgment upon the matter, or do you make use of that judgment which you conceive you possess?" On this hangs all the right and wrong. If you distinctly trade with God upon those matters, I tremble for the object that causes your distress; for the Lord is a jealous God, and will not allow "his eye" to be touched with impunity. Neither his Word, nor his people, can be profaned; and surely such as transgress will one day be caught in the thorns. "He who being often reproved, hardens his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy" (Proverbs 29:1).
Then I would point out another view (which, however, by no means sets aside the first), and that is on your part. Has nothing called for this dispensation? Is there to be no humbling before God? Has not a fretful and fruitless spirit invaded you? Have you not grown more upwards than downwards? Does not the Lord check your natural or fleshly resting places by this? Independence cannot grow in so luxuriant a manner as it would, if such as these did not continually lay the cross upon your back. You see in them many things that are superabundant in yourself. You have now and then given me hints, not upon this subject, but upon another, that have made me see what a necessity there is for us all to be closely pursued, and held in with bit and bridle. I dare not exclude myself in all that I have written, but out of the abundance of my own heart, and according to the way the Lord has led me, I write.
You are now no longer a child dandled upon the knee, but are called to fight, and, like Deborah, to go forth, and not turn aside when a little strong food is offered. You are now needed in the church as an example in all things, and your carnal fears and carnal unworthiness must not keep you from showing your profiting in all things. I must say the Lord has dealt very graciously with you, but be not like the horse or the mule, and the Lord says, "I will guide you with my eye" (Psalm 32:8, 9). This eye means light, wisdom, understanding, discretion, sound judgment, in consequence of communion with God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit; thus will you be guided with his eye.
I hope you will prove to be a good nurse to little children, and cherish them with divine and spiritual food; and not cast off the lame, but rather bear them on your shoulder. I have seen a quick retiring from them, when they have started aside a little; I think if we have ever received anything that has appeared in them, it should not be so hastily given up. We have a deal of fleshly feeling like this. It is so much trouble to be always at one that gives so little hopes. Ah! if the Lord were to say so to us! Parents must lay up for children. Meditate and look in all directions (both you and I) if God's long-suffering and patience have not been tried wonderfully towards us, yes, quite as much as with those children. Eternal things are at stake; then why mind a little trouble?
I am ashamed of myself. "Seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness." Something says, Not so! seek ease and quietness in the flesh. Thus I am beguiled often, and darkness covers me, and for a while I am not able to go to God for instruction. O may the Lord be pleased to pardon all my blunders! Let the time past suffice, and let us be more and more in earnest, seeing the day fast approaches when we must finish our course; and that we may finish it in peace is the prayer of
Your affectionate cousin, James Bourne
Letter 46
(To M. B.) Tunbridge, August 1832.
My dear Cousin,
I was exceedingly glad to see your letter, which has drawn out many petitions for you; and I sincerely hope that your present complicated afflictions of mind and body may be sanctified to you, so as to produce a more steadfast and lively walk with God, a fuller dependence upon him, and a more tender view of his displeasure, displayed throughout the whole of his Word, against his people. For in many things I exceedingly fail, and reproach myself.
It flashes in my face, "What manner of persons ought you to be in all holy conversation and godliness!" The apostle says, "Our conversation is in Heaven." Is mine? Because of these deficiencies under the sunshine of gospel light, I am often sickly, and fall into spiritual sleep; and in this sleep the furnace is preparing, and is sometimes made severely hot before I am aware; then it comes like a flash of lightning, What have I been about? How I have loitered by the way! How I have left off to be sober and watchful! This furnace is always prepared for such triflers, and I am continually caught before I see the snare.
Now I think that perhaps there is more spiritual wisdom necessary in these dark and painful paths than when all things seem straight; perhaps there is more to be learned, more good to be had, in the former than in the latter, if we are led by the Spirit of God rightly to improve the sad dispensations that bring on a hot furnace.
I find the first and best thing that can be done is at once to fall down and cry for mercy, confessing that our sin has procured it. If we can feel that God is kind in thus stopping us and purging us, nothing sweetens the affliction more; and if we can find a listening ear, he has often much to say to us under these doleful dispensations. Therefore, at such a time, if it is possible, be much alone; cease not from watchfulness and prayer; keep constantly begging instruction—first repentance and humiliation for the sad cause that brings us low, and then much self-loathing to think that he will take such sweet advantage of our calamity and sin as to make them profitable to us, and will not leave us until he says, "Friend, come up higher!" But all this is not done in a noise and bustle. It is called in Scripture God's "secret place" (Ezekiel 7:22).
There is still a further lesson to learn, wherein I have always been anxious to be instructed. Am I a nonentity in the church of God? Is this gracious dispensation come upon me for myself alone? O Lord, if it be for the good of your poor, tried, afflicted people—then give me time, talents, and power, to tell to others what you have done for my soul, that I may, by the help of your Holy Spirit, rightly instruct and encourage such of your desponding flock as fall in my way; for I, of all men most miserable and most weak, have been surprised with the loving-kindness and tender mercy of our God in Christ Jesus.
There is still something further—that I should not only receive this precious salvation, and declare it, and comfort others by it, but be found so walking as not to cause to stumble those whom I counsel, nor grieve those who hear that I prevail with God. As I have "received Christ Jesus the Lord", so must I learn "to walk in him" in godly simplicity and transparency. This will preserve the unity of the Spirit. It is repeatedly and wonderfully set forth in the Word. Let us remember that true faith, as Hart says
"Takes the whole Gospel, not a part,
And holds the fear of God."
I would have you remember that the Lord will try his people. Perhaps pride about the present matter, or some other more secret thing, must have a blow, and the Lord saw that this would inflict the wound in the right place, where the gangrene needed letting out.
"Our good Physician heals our wounds
With tenderness and skill."
There seems a great stir among our strangers. I shall be truly glad if Mr. C. J. comes out on the right side of the Slough of Despond. I hope he will take no hasty steps to settle his matters. Let me counsel you, while in the neighborhood, to visit Mrs. L. and Mrs. N., and see if you can find spiritual fellowship; and let me hear of your matron-like walk; and excuse me if I add a Scripture which you will wish neither to wipe out nor disannul: "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in Heaven." This is their profiting by your walk. Watch while you are visiting, and remember an idle life is a sensual one, delighting too much in the accommodations afforded. Stop every thief or highwayman that would plunder you, by being determined not to dwindle into gossip. If you are spiritually minded on your visit, you will find it life and peace, but if this is interrupted by light and trifling conversation, life and peace will go. "Let your conversation be as befits the gospel", not only at times, but "Be instant in season and out of season." Tell them if they wish to grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ—then the flesh must be put off, mortified, and crucified. Independence must be laid at the Savior's feet, and all must become beggars, who long to partake of the royal bounty of Heaven.
May the good Lord instruct you in all things unto his heavenly kingdom, is the prayer of
Your affectionate cousin, James Bourne
Letter 47
(To Mr. Nunn) Tunbridge, 26 August 1832.
Dear Friend,
It is with the greatest sincerity I acknowledge your kindness in writing from time to time, as I find your letters are a continual source of meditation and spiritual life to my soul, and keep alive and fresh that unity of the Spirit with the church of God, a sweet bond which I hope neither time nor distance will ever remove.
I have had some very sweet seasons in reading lately, especially in the consideration of being clean, through the word spoken by the Lord Jesus Christ (John 15:3). He speaks peace upon the heart. While we have this cleanness we are fruitful; lose it, and we are at once unfruitful. To abide in this is the only means of keeping his joy remaining in us; to lose this is to be cast forth as withered branches. There are more ways than one of being cast forth; it does not mean final destruction only. I am led to see and feel in myself what I have often seen and felt in others, how for want of this spiritual cleanness I have been cast forth as a dry, unsavory, fruitless, useless branch, for a season. To my shame be it spoken, I have found the spirit of the world has gathered my affections from God for a season, until he has sent some heavy dispensation to teach me to ponder my way, and to show me that all this is come upon me for want of attending to this cleanness. I have left my abiding place, lost my cleanness, and in consequence, all fruitfulness.
It is the will of our heavenly Bridegroom that we should always be where he is, that we may behold the glory of this great redemption, and hear him proclaim his great name, "The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty" (Exodus 34:6, 7); and that we may more fully enjoy the love with which the Father has loved the Son, and may more sweetly comprehend the divine and spiritual union of the Trinity with the mystical body of Christ. The cleanness and the abiding in Christ are the same thing.
If you read John 15 you will find that all the sweet things that are there pointed out are referred to in the last verse, as if it said, All these are and must be found in you, that you may bear witness to the truth. There must be no useless members in the body of Christ.
My desire is that while I have the light I may walk in the light, lest darkness come upon me for my unfruitfulness, and lest after the Lord has spoken these things, he should depart and hide himself from me. I assure you I move in great fear; and am sorry to say that with all my fears, afflictions, and crosses, the spirit of this world, and spiritual barrenness, and want of diligence and energy continually come upon me. I begin to discern that it is the true teaching of the Holy Spirit to make manifest my corruptions in all directions, and to sanctify the sight, so as to lead me with double earnestness to Jesus Christ as my only remedy; and especially while I am here without the converse of the people of God, I seem to have a double jealousy over myself, and keep saying, How long is it since I had the last visit from the Lord? Is spiritual decay begun? What shall I do to regain my loss? And there seems no rest in my spirit if I find barrenness in reading, or any unusual dryness in prayer; or if I wake in the night, and my thoughts are lost in the world, or if in my walks I catch myself occupied on trifles. I fear all these things as so many tokens of the beginning of spiritual decay, and am led to be very earnest that the Lord would keep me while here, maintain my lot, and make it manifest I am not straying foolishly and perversely from his fold.
I also found yesterday Isaiah 60 very sweet, and after many things suitable to me and brought warm to my heart, this seemed to top them all, that the Lord should say that we are necessary for his glory, and to beautify the place of his sanctuary. This thought always breaks my heart, having such a sight of myself in my first birth, neither washed in the blood of Christ, nor swaddled in his righteousness, nor suppled by the anointing of the holy Spirit, but lying polluted in my own blood (Ezekiel 16:3-6)—then for the Lord to pass by, and pity and save! And to tell me, moreover, that I am necessary for his glory! You and I can only say, "Blessing and honor and glory and power be unto him that sits upon the throne, and unto the Lamb forever and ever."
It is always a comfort to hear of the goodness of God to his poor afflicted. "In all their afflictions he was afflicted, and the Angel of his presence saved them." How sweet were these words to me today, "In his love and in his pity he redeemed them." And now I bear in mind poor Mrs. T. It is no new thing he is doing for her; he bare her and carried her in his purpose from the days of eternity, and that is the reason his arms are now underneath her.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 48
(To Mrs. J.) Tunbridge, September 1832.
Dear Friend,
I cannot help sending you a few lines, nor must you be alarmed if I begin by bearing testimony against the whole tenor of your letter. I think I have full proof; I have known you for some years, and when first you were among us, you, like the rest, wanted a good deal of pruning; and the Lord has done it, as he always does, as a Sovereign. He prunes one, one way, and another another way, but all to make us fruitful; and to remain unfruitful under such circumstances is a sad omen. If in natural things such were to be the case, no doubt you would find fault with the gardener; but who is to be found fault with in spiritual matters? I say we do well not to suffer one member to set aside another, nor to compare our fruitfulness with another's, but rather acknowledge that measure of growth which has been evidently displayed under the kind management of the Holy Spirit. As it respects yourself, I for one must acknowledge you have been useful to me. I have seen and heard of your manifold afflictions, and have heard you declare the goodness of God to you in them. I have been greatly refreshed by it so as to be encouraged, foreseeing myself on the bed of languishing, hoping as the Lord has appeared for you, so he would also be with me; and thus I have gone away with much godly fear on my spirit. I call this your fruitfulness abounding towards others. Your mercy lies in this, not thinking yourself anything, but highly prizing the rich treasure that the Lord has put into your earthen vessel; be careful not to take the glory, but ascribe the whole of it to God and the Lamb, who has washed us in his blood.
Pray remember me to your daughter E., and tell her to call to mind those seasons of darkness and fears that led her so to cry to God as to prevail, and not to be satisfied with the testimony of man, but seek for perpetual renewals of his tokens, that there may be fellowship between God and her soul; and let her remember that in every visit there is a discovery of light upon her path spiritually and temporally. "Light is sown for the righteous," as well as "gladness for the upright in heart." Stumbling comes in consequence of walking in darkness. Sin is what we stumble over, and nothing removes this but the precious blood of Christ. He is the Sun of Righteousness arising with healing in his wings; "in his light we see light," and let us mind while we have the light to walk in it, for we shall not stumble in this light. Take heed that darkness do not abide upon your spirit, for he who walks in darkness knows not where he goes. Comfort my heart, my dear friend E., in showing your earnest desire after these things, your fervency of spirit, and increase of understanding, so that your profiting may appear.
It is my sincere desire to see the prosperity of our Zion, and that you may increase more and more,
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 49
(To the Rev. Charles Jeffreys, concerning his friend Mr. Maddy) October 1832.
My dear Sir,
I have for this last year been frequently going to Greenwich Hospital, and could not but remark how often a lame pensioner was coupled with a blind one; and so I cannot but call to mind how in my early days, before I had much understanding in divine things as respects myself, I was often obliged to bear testimony to many truths which as yet I had not fully proved. This seems in a measure to be your present case with your friend, and you may say to him, as one of old said (Psalm 114), "What ails you, that you are driven back?" and I may add, "Tremble, you earth, at the presence of the Lord." You and I must now pause and ask, Will he indeed turn the flinty rock into springs of water? The presence of the Lord, it is true, is with both you and your friend; but something yet further is wanting before you can be satisfied what this presence is for, whether for judgment or for mercy. Now, if you can prevail upon the Lord Jesus Christ to hear your prayers, and can in any wise perceive that he has kind intentions towards you, even in the most distant hope, and that only for a very short time, yet while it lasts it will draw forth such an expression as this, "I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my supplications." I was in deep sorrow and trouble, in gross darkness and ignorance, but in calling upon the name of the Lord I found him merciful; he acknowledged the sincerity of my heart (made so by his Spirit) and helped me (Psalm 116).
Having believed and received this, I can declare it to my friend, and recommend to him to be exceedingly diligent at a throne of grace. There are no end of instances in the Word of God of men calling upon the name of the Lord in their distress, but not one instance of a failure; and it is here added (Psalm 118), "The Lord answered me, and set me in a large place." I am sure that if both you and your friend make not God your strength in all the perplexing dispensations that are come and are coming over your heads, you will not find the salvation that you seem to be seeking for. "The right hand of the Lord" alone "does valiantly;" and if you make him your strength, though he chasten you sore with many fears and misgivings, yet he will not give you over unto death.
Be faithful to the utmost of your spiritual understanding, and enter not into any other field. As your friend wants, or seems to want, spiritual counsel, tell him all the truth, and fill not your letters with postscripts and additions of deviations on other subjects, which will certainly blunt the edge and divide the attention, half for the world, and not half for the Lord. I hope it will please God to direct you, that this labor of love may not prove in vain.
I am, etc. James Bourne
Letter 50
(To the Rev. Watkin Maddy) London, 10 January 1833.
Dear Sir,
I begin to fear lest you should prove yourself ignorant of Satan's devices. The worst of snares are usually laid in the most insidious places. I have heard of a Mr. B—, who seemed armed with all the zeal of an apostle, and feared not the face of any of the great men of Oxford. But where is he? Swallowed up in errors, and has made it fully manifest to all such as fear God, that the root of the matter was never there. I exceedingly tremble at your loitering, and the plausible excuses you make. While you are endeavoring in your own wisdom to make straight all things that God has made crooked, take heed lest the city be in flames, and you find no angel to take you by the hand.
In reading this morning, with my family, the captivity of Egypt and Ethiopia (Isaiah 20), I was awe-struck with the stripping of every fair outside of religion, and how God will discover us to all the world, and make it manifest, even by some little foolish and apparently trifling circumstance, if our covering is not that of the Spirit, but of the flesh; and so we are led away captives.
The enemy goes about "as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour". A sheep, separated from the fold, is in danger of every wolf. The worst snares are such as seem kind and religious; for these deceitful workers are set forth as subtle of heart, loud and stubborn, lying in wait at every corner. They will do all they can in their kindness to kiss you, and, with a presumptuous confidence, tell you, "I have peace offerings with me, this day have I paid my vows; therefore came I forth to meet you, diligently to seek your face, and I have found you;" and it is added, "Thus with her much fair speech she caused him to yield, and with the flattering of her lips she forced him." These are some of the things I often fear in myself, and therefore am led to caution others, knowing that this Mr. Fair-speech, or some of his family, resides in every place, and is ready to offer his services on all occasions. I would have you remark that all that listen are described as simple ones, void of understanding, passing near to the place of danger, and going the way to the house of folly. Alas! alas! None are so wise and so strong as those who know nothing as they ought to know, and feel themselves quite able to stand their ground in every dangerous place (Proverbs 7:6-23).
May the Lord direct, and help you to know and understand aright, and make his Law to be a lamp to you, to keep you from the flattery of "the strange woman"; and rest assured that in the reproofs of instruction is the way of life. "Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?" It is said, "Men do not despise a thief if he steal to satisfy his soul when he is hungry." You, Sir, have been this thief, but the Lord has found you out, and you must now no longer become vain in your robbery; but as you have been told the truth, and have in part acknowledged it, so must you now make restitution, by showing your ardent desire to cleave to that truth which God has revealed. He who turns away from it lacks understanding, destroys his own soul, and gets nothing but wounds and dishonor, and his reproach shall never be wiped away (Proverbs 6:23-33).
May the Lord give you courage to listen to his voice, and to forgive me, is the prayer of
Your unworthy servant, James Bourne
Letter 51
(To a young Friend) London, 18 April 1833.
My dear young Friend,
I must acknowledge "It is good for me that I have been afflicted, for before I was afflicted I went astray." I was very untender in my early profession, and therefore am anxious to warn the young of the rocks on which I struck.
If you read Ezekiel 20, I think verses 5, 6, 7, and part of 8 will point out much of what has been my case. Yet such has been the mercy of God towards me as is described in the 9th verse. This deeply impressed my mind, and humbled me in the dust, and makes me to bear the indignation of the Lord because I have sinned against him. He would not suffer me to pollute his name, and therefore put me into many repeated and hot furnaces, that the dross of pride and vanity might be purged away; and has given me a measure of hope that he will make me a vessel meet for the Master's use. On my first entrance into a profession, I sat under a ministry which took but little notice of our outward walk. It was left a good deal to turn upon this hinge, that the teaching of the Spirit will direct us in all our outward proceedings; gain but the favor of God, and all other things will find their right course. This is true, but not all the truth that should be declared; else why did the Savior and all the apostles say so much upon the subject of our whole outward walk? I had many sweet intimations of God's love, and many secret admonitions and warnings about things I seldom heard of from the pulpit. At first through that tenderness which the Lord kindly gave me, I seemed to listen to them, and the milk and honey were often given to me, and all things went on well; but the idols of Egypt, and the many snares which were privily laid for my feet, entangled me, and I perceived a cloud hung over my spirit, and a measure of despondency took place, and I could not but cry, "My leanness, my leanness! Woe unto me." And then came this question, Why am I thus? Where is the milk and the honey? And upon an honest inquiry sprang up the conviction, that as the Lord declares by Ezekiel, I polluted his sabbaths, my walk rendered them unprofitable, and I despised his judgments; for though executed even before my eyes in the church, I feared not my own case. But the 17th verse of the same chapter seems exactly the truth to me: "Nevertheless mine eye spared them from destroying them, neither did I make an end of them in the wilderness." Such has been my untoward perverseness and ignorance, that nothing but the mighty power of God could have stopped me from ruin. I must add, that from the 33rd verse to the end of the 37th my case is set forth, and the 38th is descriptive of the corruptions of my heart, at the sight of which I often tremble; but the 43rd and 44th are so true to the work of God in my own soul, that I cannot but rejoice in hope.
From what I have written, I would have you understand the caution I am anxious to give you respecting this early part of your spiritual teaching. Suspect anything like a lowering cloud hanging over your head; and if the milk and honey are stayed, enter minutely into the cause; pass not over it and "You shall know that I have not done without cause all that I have done, says the Lord" (Ezekiel 14:23). In your separation from your godly friends and the ministry, you will find it hard labor to maintain spiritual life; and I would recommend you to attend very particularly to Paul's advice to Timothy, that you may not come home with your locks shorn, but that your profiting may appear, and your labor not be in vain in the Lord. "Let the word of God dwell in you richly"; "Exercise yourself unto godliness"; "Keep that which is committed into your trust" (namely, godly fear in a tender conscience). Listen to the secret checks I speak of, and browbeat them not, and so shall your profiting appear. Grace be with you. Amen.
If it is well with you, remember me in your prayers, and write me word how you go on.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 52
(To Mr. Yeomans) London, 28 September 1833.
Dear Friend,
It is a matter of deep humiliation to me when I hear that one so sapless and dry has been profitable to any. It makes me look with shame on many foolish, vain, and unprofitable hours that I have spent, even since I have known the Lord. Herein I learn to justify God in all the severe dispensations I have passed through, and believe that all God's judgments are right. I have had a painful path, but my proud heart called for heavy strokes, and for the destruction to which God says he will bring all his people (Deuteronomy 32). He did not spare my flesh for my much crying, but having purposes of mercy towards me, prepared the furnace accordingly. In this way great self was brought down gladly to take the lowest room, and think none so mean and base as himself; and the repetition of the same afflictions was necessary to keep him there. I must now acknowledge, however painful this labor has been, it has not been in vain; for "in all these things is the life of my spirit".
If you are desirous of attaining a good degree, it is only through much tribulation. In the many mortifications and crucifixions I have suffered, I have never yet found but that God has caused my sorrow to pass away like the sorrow of a woman in travail. The birth has been made clear, and the Lord has often told me the sweetest things that a man on earth can know. He once said to me, "Satisfied with favor, and full with the blessing of the Lord;" and this, with many other things that seem too great to speak of, I have found in the valley of humiliation. It is in the sea of troubles he makes a way for his ransomed to pass over; they are not left to stick fast in the mire, but made to pass over. Take my advice, never let your troubles, whatever they are, pass away without a token of Christ's deliverance; let not a fleshly arm put them aside, nor wear them out by time. Every trouble and difficulty, all shyness and distance between the Lord Jesus Christ and you, if rightly ended, must issue in the shedding abroad of his love in your heart. So will you come to a better acquaintance with the Friend of sinners, and find no grief too heavy for him to bear, no difficulty too great for him to bring you through. He is, and will be found to be, "a tried stone, a sure foundation". Venture on him. He has "the keys of Hell and of death"; and neither shall touch you, if you make him your Friend. If he shows the least sign of displeasure upon your conscience, bow, and stoop, and confess, and pray, and fall at his feet; if you understand not what it means, do not contend, but fall. This is our place; let us learn steadily to judge ourselves in all cases, that we be not judged of the Lord (1 Corinthians 11:31). Fret not when disappointed; God's voice is in all his dispensations, and he never speaks but something is to be attended to; and, remember, he goes from words to blows. We cannot fall too soon. A broken spirit is a rare thing, and is only found as the effect of much affliction.
I do hereby again declare that the sweetest path I have been in has been in the valley of humiliation. The surest tokens of the love of God have been found in the sharpest exercises. I can, therefore, well recommend to you this "Friend that loves at all times", and who will not turn his back upon you when all things seem to come to an end, and all other friends fail.
I can truly lament your want of the means which God has provided for us; but it seems indeed, and of a truth, that he has been "as a little sanctuary" to you for many years. May he enable you to double your diligence as the day approaches, and remember me when it goes well with you. With kind regards to all who love the Lord Jesus Christ, in truth and sincerity, in your little circle, believe me to remain
Your affectionate friend in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 53
(To a Friend) London, 18 November 1833.
Dear Friend,
I have been for a long time exceedingly cast down and trembling in spirit lest the judgments of God, as recorded in his Word, should overtake me and mine. Everything seemed to appear against me, and I became "like the sparrow alone upon the house-top". Yet I found under all this heavy cloud a very sensible and close cleaving and crying to the Lord. I overheard someone mention Psalm 102, and when I returned home I desired it to be read in my family. I saw some things in it very suitable, but not yet attainable by me. I therefore retired, and in secret read it over again with many longing desires. The first words which warmed my heart were these, "When the Lord shall build up Zion, he shall appear in his glory;" and the next verse, "He will regard the prayer of the destitute, and not despise their prayer," quite melted my heart in contrition, and gave me a sweet and comfortable hope that he was doing me good, and not wreaking his fury upon me; that he was really dealing gently and kindly with me, and as a father chastens his son, so the Lord was chastening me; and that he would look down from the height of his sanctuary to hear the groaning of me his prisoner, "to declare the name of the Lord in Zion, and his praise in Jerusalem".
This greatly comforted me, and gave me such light and understanding in my path as at present I forbear to describe; but this gradually closed, and darkness returned with all my despondency. In reading the whole history of Hezekiah, as given by Isaiah, I was again enlightened and encouraged; and then again confused and covered with fears; but this evening these words revived and filled my soul with hope and much contrition: "A bruised reed shall he not break." Thus hoping and desponding, crying and groaning, I have had many changes, even in this one day; sometimes fearing lest my religion should come to nothing, and sometimes looking out of obscurity, and seeing my eternal safety in Christ Jesus, and that better and brighter days yet await me.
A friend, sitting by, read Habakkuk 2:The first three verses were so sweetly applied with divine power upon my heart, as to assure me of the Lord's kind favor, and that he would do me good and not evil all the days of my life. ("I will stand upon my watch, and set me upon the tower; and will watch to see what he will say unto me, and what I shall answer when I am reproved. And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie; though it tarry, wait for it; for it will surely come, it will not tarry.")
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 54
(To Mrs. Burrell) London, 25 March 1834.
Dear Friend,
I have often grieved at the cause of the darkness which covers my friend, which is sin; and have wondered why the Lord should suffer me to be so continually involved in that misery. I now begin to think one cause is that we may warn and caution all about us, lest spiritual sloth and want of watchfulness overtake them before they are aware. I have experienced much of this darkness and sorrow lately, and find few companions that can enter into my case. Death, judgment, holiness, justice, and righteousness, are often my contemplations; and they rouse my fears and discover to me what the prophet saw through the hole in the wall (Ezekiel 8). A light professor is death to me, and disturbs my meditations, which I dare not say are all bondage; for I assure you even in these places, Christ often speaks a word to me from off the mercy-seat. By these my heart is kept out of the world, and the sight of God's greatness in all directions makes me sink into nothing before him. This fear keeps me firm at my post; "knowing the terror of the Lord" I wish to persuade those about me. I perceive it is a fearful thing to sin against God. It is said of Moses that God would not speak to him as to other men; with him he would speak mouth to mouth, even apparently, and not in dark speeches; and yet we read, "And the Lord spoke unto Moses and Aaron, Because you believed me not, to sanctify me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore you shall not bring up this congregation into the land which I have given them" (Numbers 20:12).
I am persuaded that Jesus Christ is able to save to the uttermost; I also perceive that he will take vengeance of our inventions, to keep us in a low place, and make salvation sweet and great and precious; and I think I know what this means, "The floods have lifted up, O Lord, the floods have lifted up their voice; the floods lift up their waves. The Lord on high is mightier than the noise of many waters, yes, than the mighty waves of the sea" (Psalm 93). These are the fearful and tremendous exercises that I labor under in all directions; being often brought to the bar of God, I sink in fearful apprehensions of his taking vengeance of my inventions. In such a case we have a full sight of our inventions, and are quite sure that sin is exceedingly hateful to God, so that we cannot attend to what is often lightly said, Why don't you roll yourself upon the promises? Alas, alas! "To will is present with me, but how to perform I find not." How deeply we are convinced that we must bow in absolute submission to the sovereignty of God, and have nothing left, within or without, but "God be merciful to me a sinner;" and even here patience must have its perfect work, and we must be brought patiently to wait, and quietly to hope, for his salvation. But we find it does most assuredly come, and is like "new wine put into new bottles", and thus we are preserved unto eternal life.
In such an experience I find all my native loveliness turned into corruption, and all my fair pretensions lose their claims, and I am made willing and glad to be saved in God's way.
This morning I had a sweet season in prayer, and while my heart was melted as wax before the fire, I thought of you, and begged that you might rejoice with me in this great salvation; that the Lord would raise your drooping head, and cause your tongue to say, "He has done all things well." So prays
Your unworthy servant in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 55
(To M. A. H.) London, 30 May 1834.
Dear Friend,
I, with you, am subject to many changes, and I must confess that in the exercises which these changes bring, is the life of my spirit. About a year ago I was under many apprehensions that the Lord would return no more. I was in that "horror of great darkness" out of which I thought the Lord never intended to deliver me. He showed me the "smoking furnace" that I was about to be put into, to humble my pride and make me less independent; and I think he made me in some measure to accept with all my heart the punishment of my sins; for I dared not murmur. I have often since wondered how the Lord kept me patiently waiting for him; nothing is so likely to bring us to this as a sense of our sin, under which we have nothing to say but Guilty; and nothing to do but to put our fingers upon our lips and cry, "Unclean, unclean." And when the Lord comes to us in such a place as this we are indeed surprised, and his goodness and mercy quite break our hearts.
By these various exercises the soul gains much increase of understanding, and a further insight into the work of God, both in ourselves and in others. Past experiences are always more or less like waymarks in future difficulties, and cause a greater readiness to run to our Stronghold.
No doubt you have been in many perplexities since you left us, and for want of public and private communion, with the saints there have been many painful seasons of spiritual death, and some cross or other has been laid upon you to add energy to your prayers.
Be sure you never "let that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed." Nothing will establish darkness and despondency in the soul sooner than an old sin passed over, forgotten, and unrepented of. May you and I be able to pray with the Psalmist, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me; and lead me in the way everlasting." Make the Word of God your constant companion in your present banishment, and may you, like John, be found "in the Spirit on the Lord's day".
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 56
(To M. A. H.) London, 1834.
Dear Friend,
I am sorry to hear such sad accounts of your health, but I go about and perceive that affliction is the lot of all God's people; and as you have prayed to be manifestly his, this is the universal means of being made so. I am just returned from Mrs. O., and find her past all hopes of recovery, but wonderfully supported. She told me that when in health she used to think that death was so awful and so tremendous, that she should not he able to bear its approach; but that now, when she feels herself sinking and very near it, she finds the Lord removes her distress and dark feelings about it. A few days ago the Lord whispered to her, if it had not been so, he would have told her, but that he went before to prepare a place for her; and that it is far better to be with Christ than in the world. Though she often complains of deadness, yet she says he brings some such word as this, "I will love you to the end;" on which she is caused to hope.
This is very encouraging to me, and I hope it may be so to you. The Lord has been pleased to lay his afflicting hand upon you, and your great mercy will be to find grace to stoop under it as low as possible. I have learned that the place where we may find the Lord is the lowest place where no strength remains shut up (Deuteronomy 32:36), and we are so weak as not to be able to look up, but would, if possible, absolutely accept the punishment of our sins. Here, if we pray and cry, no harm can come to us, but God will in due time both hear and relieve. In this low place let us listen to the many good lessons that are and ought to be learned, and we shall believe that though the Lord chastens us sore, he will not give us over unto spiritual death; and that the intended profit shall be accomplished to his honor and glory.
Press on, my dear friend, and though it be through a crowd of hindrances, yet be determined to make your way to Christ. If this spiritual labor be ever so secret, the Lord will reward you openly. Seek not natural life as the chief good, but let spiritual life be earnestly desired and maintained in the soul. In the exercise of this your profiting will appear, and your growing up in Christ, your living Head in all things. Be much in the Word of God and prayer; and when it is well with you, remember me.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 57
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 7 June 1834.
Dear Sir,
Half an hour ago I had little thought of writing to you so soon, but hearing of your present trial excites me to pray that as you partake of the affliction of the children of God, so you may also of the consolation. I believe you have been led in godly simplicity to beg of God to clear your way and to show you how you ought to go; so I believe that he will unfold the mystery in a way that we cannot in any ways foresee. Perhaps this very circumstance which seems big with ruin, will, by the Lord's help, give you power to bear witness to the truth where you were least likely to have an opportunity of so doing. My prayer for you shall be that you may be fortified and emboldened to bear a clear testimony of the hope that is in you, and that you may give a scriptural ground for your proceedings, and may find power to leave the event with the Lord, and be much in prayer to be at his disposal.
I have often, in the course of my life, been in such intricate circumstances as to think there could be no way opened for my escape; but by giving myself to prayer, I have been astonished to find, when the time has arrived and I have almost despaired, the Lord has spoken these words, and others of the like sort: "The battle is not yours, but God's;" "Because you have made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the Most High, your habitation, there shall no evil befall you, neither shall any plague come near your dwelling." And I have found the verity of these precious words; and they have silenced all my fears, and strengthened my hopes, in future difficulties.
Be very particular to attend to this my request: if any plans in the flesh are proposed in your mind, or any schemes of human prudence are held before you, reject them as you would a viper, and for this once try what being a fool for Christ's sake will do. Let patience have its perfect work; rely, if possible, on the Lord; be much in prayer, night and day; and believe me, the weaker you feel, and the more sensible you are of your want of power to manage the matter, so much the more likely you are to meet with God's protection. "He gives power to the faint, and to them that have no might he increases strength."
I send this to some friends who, though unknown to you, are anxious for your spiritual welfare, and would desire with me that this trial may end in showing you more and more of the mysteries both of grace and providence.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 58
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 19 June 1834.
Dear Sir,
I have often thought of you in your present difficulties, and only hope the Lord is on your side by the deep exercises you labor under, and the deep sense you have in them of God's visiting your sin, and by his stirring up adversaries to bring you to the feet of Christ as a lost sinner. When these outward trials and inward conflicts bring you to that place, I shall have further hope that the Lord has some marvelous blessing in store for you, if you, like the publican, dare not so much as to lift up your eyes unto Heaven, but smite upon your breast, saying, "God be merciful to me a sinner."
Will you plead that you did not deserve such treatment? Did the publican plead his good intentions? Did he plead his faithfulness to such treacherous and unfaithful friends, and that he deserved and looked for better treatment than what he found? No! You do not hear one plea in his own behalf, but "God be merciful to me a sinner."
May the Lord, in all the dark dispensations you are now passing under, teach you to stand in awe of his word, and bring you to the very place in which the publican was. May he make you not to fear man, but to remember, "He who keeps Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep."
I dare say you are often ready to dispute your title to the name of Israel; then I say, "Give the Lord no rest," begging that this trial may have this very effect in it, that your calling and election may be sure to you. Let me put this prayer on your lips, and may the Holy Spirit bring it forth from your heart:
"Unto you lift I up mine eyes, O you that dwell in the heavens. Behold, as the eyes of servants look unto the hand of their masters, and as the eyes of a maiden unto the hand of her mistress, so our eyes wait upon the Lord our God, until that he have mercy upon us. Have mercy upon us, O Lord, have mercy upon us, for we are exceedingly filled with contempt. Our soul is exceedingly filled with the scorning of those that are at ease, and with the contempt of the proud" (Psalm 123).
Let me entreat you to watch this one thing, that whatever the outward event may be, whether prosperous or adverse, you gain a spiritual increase, and come not out of the trial like a fool brayed in a mortar (Proverbs 27:22). If you belong to God, you will certainly see that every cross providence has spiritual instruction in it, and if sanctified, will produce a clearer fellowship between the Lord Jesus Christ and your soul. I have always found my heaviest troubles in the end produce the sweetest enjoyments of God's love, and the brightest and clearest views of his gracious intentions of doing me good and not evil all the days of my life. I hope the Lord has something to clear in this crisis, and that your spiritual attention to his "still small voice" within, may not be lost by the thunders and threatenings without, which I am sure will be the case if you are not much in prayer.
May the Lord protect you and Mrs. Gilpin, and make you willing to be nothing—hard lesson! Here let me quote for you both a part of our late friend's prayer: "O Lord, keep me very low, O keep me very low indeed! O Lord Jesus, do you do it, and save me as you did her who sat at your feet, and washed them with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and you said her sins, which were many, were forgiven, and she loved much." Get here, and all outward difficulties are easily righted. The Lord exalts them of low degree, and to the poor in spirit salvation is sent.
From your unworthy but willing servant in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 59
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 22 June 1834.
My dear Friend,
I would first consider the letter you have received, which appears to have been written with much kindness. If I were to answer it I would not advert to the outward circumstances, but if possible, with the utmost godly simplicity, declare that you are under spiritual difficulties, and are making the Lord your refuge; that you by no means dare to run from your post, where you believe that God is instructing you. What the Lord may do for you is yet undiscovered but you mean not willingly to give offence, nor to flinch from the cross when offence is taken against the truth.
I judge that your influential friend has no God, or he would have directed you to him, but an arm of flesh is all he offers. Be as short in your answer as such received kindness will admit of. Be on the defensive, explain nothing, clear nothing, leave as much difficulty upon curious inquiries as you can. "Be wise as serpents." Make God your counselor, keep very private, very silent. While you are secretly laboring with God, he will openly work for you. Deep piety, as it is called without meaning, will do you no good. Scrupulous tenderness must be given up, if it only leads us to be pleasers of men. To move out of the furnace before the Lord moves the cloud would to me appear a very black mark. While you would be busied here and there, in other places, the Holy Spirit would leave you as barren as a potsherd, without knowing when he would in mercy return.
O my friends, remember Jonah, what he suffered, and how he was forced to return and bear heavy tidings at last! May the Lord give you power to "endure hardness as good soldiers of Jesus Christ", and not suffer you to fall by the kindness of false friends. None so false as those who lead you to an arm of flesh. They kindly and tenderly hand you over the stile to By-path meadows, and leave you not until they fairly see you safe in Doubting Castle, under the charge of Giant Despair; and there his wife Diffidence will keep you from a Throne of Grace, and make you long rue the first wry step you took, in shutting your ears to the "still small voice", and in being enticed by the sweet things such false friends promise, but never mean to perform.
O beware! your conflict and danger are great indeed. But, "Fear not, you worm Jacob"; while you are this worm, fear not: "I will be with you." The waters shall not overflow you, when you pass through. All this will be proved, not in an obstinate and violent opposition, but in a secret feeling sense of sinking at Christ's feet as a condemned sinner. The Lord never makes his grace, mercy, and power manifest, but when we are nothing. He never displays his wonderful intervention so much as when all, all is left, by prayer, at his disposal. A long experience only will bring us firmly to believe that "safety is of the Lord". We may have some notion of it, but do not readily perceive in what state we find ourselves when the Lord does this mighty work. I always find it comes when all my might, my conceit, my wisdom, my contrivance, and, in short, when all the wonderful powers of the human soul are laid low in the dust at the feet of Jesus Christ. Then it is that the dogs eat of the crumbs that fall from their master's table. As I said in my last, "Venture to be nothing." It will do you both good. Therein lie your safety and happiness. The road to it lies through many prickly thorns: to lose a good name, to be counted a fool for Christ's sake, to be hated for the same cause. Sometimes Heaven and earth seem combined to bring on our ruin; and so they are. There must be a downfall of the old man; he must be crucified.
Until we come into this furnace (in which I have been, and am daily exercised) we have no notion what it is to be nothing; but here it is we are taught the nature of the apostasy of the professing church, and learn not to say, A confederacy, to all them to whom this people say, A confederacy (Isaiah 8:11-12). Here too you will learn not to trifle with the message on which God has sent you.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 60
(To the Rev. W. Maddy) Bushey, Herts, July 1834.
Dear Friend,
I exceedingly lament the time and manner of your captivity; yet I cannot understand how it is you can both see and hate that which lies hard upon you, unless it be the Spirit humbling you by slow degrees to bring you to the knowledge of that sad state to which sin has reduced you. It is written in 2 Kings 24 that it was the Lord who sent the bands of the Chaldees and Syrians and Moabites and Ammonites against Judah to destroy it. "Surely at the commandment of the Lord came this upon Judah, to remove them out of his sight, for the sins . . . which the Lord would not pardon." All the vessels of gold were taken out of the temple of the Lord, and carried away to Babylon; all the golden faith that should be manifest in hearing the word is carried off by temptation to the spirit of the world and lightness; no access; no sense of God's presence; all is darkness and despondency, and no prospect of a change. The Lord has given you up to the enemy for a season to show you what Babylon can do for you, and what you can do for yourself. I know you will struggle long to labor for life, and to get from under the yoke, not knowing that a great ransom cannot deliver you, none less than Jesus Christ. Him you reject, and put carnal reason, human virtue, and pious resolutions in his place; but the Lord will carry away all these mighty men of valor, all these craftsmen, and cunning workmen, and artificers; not one shall remain. And when all your strength is gone, and none shut up or left, then will the Lord appear.
I hope the Lord will continue that fear which you speak of, for by it we depart from evil. It is that remaining spark of life by which we contend, though but weakly, against our desperate foes. Pray cherish this; it is your best jewel; do not break through this hedge; fight hard, and give not up prayer, however dead and unprofitable it may appear.
I have had some sweet seasons, and only wonder at the goodness of God to me.
Yours &e. James Bourne
Letter 61
(To Mr. Nunn) Bushey, July 1834.
Dear Friend,
I am very glad to hear that there is hope you may yet be spared to us a little longer. It has been deeply impressed on my mind, and may it be yet more deeply impressed on yours, to remember the sore conflicts we have had, and the vanity we have been made to feel in all created things; and may we now find leisure from the world to "sing of mercy and judgment". We have been put into these deep waters as a caution to light professors, to show them what they must go through if ever they are saved; and that making their strength firm will not deliver them. You and I know in our measure what this means: "we must through much tribulation enter the kingdom." They are not words without meaning.
I think I never felt anything like the sensation of darkness and despair which I felt when the Lord once seemed to speak these words upon my heart, "You have forsaken me, and served other gods; therefore I will deliver you no more" (Judges 10:13). This was a place of all but despair. I repeated the words, No more! and something replied, No more. O the sackcloth that covered my soul, and the dark and hopeless condition of my spirit, being fully convinced of the righteous judgment of God! Here I lay three days, and could not rest in my bed. What confessions, what stooping, with my mouth in the dust, if so be there might be hope! At length a whisper, "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy," to show that the Lord is faithful. He made me feel that he was grieved for my misery, and touched with the feeling of my infirmities; and I have heard such whispers as these, Because your heart has been made tender under the rod, and you have humbled yourself before the Lord, "Behold therefore I will gather you unto your fathers, and you shall be gathered into your grave in peace" (2 Kings 22:10, 20).
This, my dear friend, is one of many things that have tended to make me dread the snares of a bewitching world, and a vile, treacherous heart which takes part with it; yet, by the mercy of God, I cannot quite forget "the wormwood and the gall," and my spirit wishes to take the lowest place (Lamentations 3:20, 21).
Another sweet motive which often lifts me above the world in hope is the thought of this:
"Was ever grace, Lord, rich as Thine?
Can anything be with it named?
What powerful beams of love divine,
Your tender heart inflamed!"The whole of that hymn of Hart's has been very precious; and I may continue,
"Grace and glory in you shine,
Matchless mercy, love divine."
I often say in my family, and you may say it in yours, Woe unto you all, if God does so many mighty works before your eyes, and you repent not! "It shall be more tolerable for Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment than for you!" For God has spoken to them not only by our lips, but by all his dispensations to us. They have seen our castings down, and they have seen how the visitations of the Lord have preserved our spirits, and they must all give an account of whatever talent the Lord has lent them.
It is no small joy that the Lord permits me to hope that I shall see you once more in the flesh, and that as I have entered in a measure into your conflicts, so I may be a partaker of the consolation. I hope you will be able to dictate a few words that I may hear how you go on.
Mr. Burrell is now beginning the morning service. My heart is with him and the rest of the people, that a double portion of the Spirit may be there, as a Spirit of judgment, and a Spirit of burning (Isaiah 4:4). How little we are apt to think of our privileges until they are past! Though all things may appear to go on quietly for a while, yet I am sure the time will come when slighted means and ordinances will appear against us in a very different light from that in which we now see them. Where is the late church? "Ichabod" (1 Samuel 4:21). I fear many among us are on the borders of the same precipice.
May the Lord Jesus Christ take you up in the arms of his everlasting dying love, and bless you! May he keep you little in yourself, and of no account in this world, but one on whom he sets an infinite value, having paid an infinite price for you! May he never leave you in the hour of extremity, but grant that we both, as our breath departs, may find something to whisper peace, and give us an abundant entrance into glory.
My heart has been sweetly entertained while I have been writing this, so that sometimes I could scarcely see to write.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 62
(To Mr. Nunn) Maidstone, August 1834.
My dear Friend,
I was very glad to see a letter from you, written in your own hand, and especially for the contents, which encourage me still to press on, though greatly cast down, fearing that there is not in me that real honesty that I find in others, and that when the end comes all will be darkness. "This is my infirmity, but I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High."
I have had some tossing nights here, with sharp spiritual conflicts; but if the road to the park, and the park itself, could speak, they would bear witness to some of the most endearing embraces that can be. The Lord has indeed kept me, and has been "the strength of my life", but I soon came again to this petition, "Hide not your face from me; put not your servant away in anger." This also again returns (even while I write) with great sweetness and power: "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want"; "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life."
You and I can testify that the true fear of God is no light thing, that the Lord has declared war against the sin of our nature, and that when he takes vengeance of our inventions, it cannot be without many broken bones. This furnishes us with petitions agreeable to his revealed will in Christ Jesus, "Make me to hear joy and gladness, that the bones which you have broken may rejoice;" and we know that one word, or one look, will do it. Thus we learn to "sing of mercy and judgment", and to "rejoice with trembling"; not with slavish fear, but with true filial fear; and as you say, we pray that what he shows in these deep places may be graven on our hearts as long as we live, that sin may appear exceeding sinful, and that the Lord may always appear most holy; and that there may be no independence of God. Even such a sentence as this makes me blush, "We have our conversation in Heaven." This is often lightly passed over, but I am ashamed because my conscience tells me how far otherwise it often is; and this is the real cause of darkness and distance at a throne of grace. It is often through a sanctified furnace, very sharp, we are brought to a proper understanding.
My letter (which you have seen) to our poor friends at ________ is all I know of the truth; if there be another gospel, then I have yet to be made acquainted with it. Real affection in the Lord made me write what I did; I found the situation in which God had placed me in our church rendered it needful in my conscience to counsel, and my spirit was enlarged and comforted in it. My prayer still is, that the Lord would give a right understanding in all things, especially in that precious unity of the Spirit, which can feel "Who is offended, and I burn not?" Charity divine endures all things, and will never fail. In all the reproofs I have had, whether intended for reproofs or not, whether true or false, I have found my happiness has been in taking the lowest place. Divine charity feels no disgrace at being put down, but says, "Behold, I am vile." The Lord Jesus Christ, when his judgment was taken away, opened not his mouth. "I was dumb, I opened not my mouth, because you did it." If the Lord does not by his Spirit in great condescension dictate what I write, I know not how I could find his sweet presence as I do, to help my infirmities; for I think I cannot tell when I have written a letter and have not found encouragement in it.
The afflictions of our church make me thoughtful. I hope I have not written with an untempered zeal; through grace I perceive much soberness upon my spirit. My end is much in view, and my fears run high; and it is out of the abundance of these changes my heart is kept anxious both for myself and the church of God. We seem now in a peculiar state, and I often feel for our pastor. I hope he is in a measure reaping the fruits of his labor. We ought to bear him on our minds much.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 63
(To a Friend) Holmwood, September 1834.
My dear Friend,
Of all states of men in this life there is none like that of a professor of religion, who is destitute of the vital power. The prophet Ezekiel gives a fearful account of such, written in a book full of "lamentation, mourning, and woe". He calls them "impudent children and stiff-hearted" and "a rebellious house" (Ezekiel 2:3-10). These are they who are ever learning, and never attaining; who tithe mint and anise and cummin, but omit the weightier matters of the law.
How often have I had a dread upon my spirit lest this should be my case! Darkness, dryness, and barrenness have come upon me, and my backsliding heart has driven me further and further into the wilderness, and seemingly nothing is left, but a little glimmering light in some measure to discover the condition to which my sin has brought me. How this has fretted me, and made my temper sour, adding sin to sin, until a fearful apprehension springs up that surely this is not the spot of God's children, but a mark of the "perverse and crooked generation" (Deuteronomy 32:5). I bring every one into bondage, therefore cannot belong to the true church. Such as these become the secret meditations of my soul night and day, until the misery grows too great for me to bear with, and some affliction or cross is laid upon me, to rouse me from this wretched state. Here I feel my sin, that it is exceeding sinful in the sight of God; nor do I ever find comfort until I am made to repent in dust and ashes, and to loathe myself before the Lord, with my mouth in the dust. Here the Lord shows me the difference between real love and dissembled love, feigned faith and living faith, a good hope and the hope of the hypocrite; and here the "gates of righteousness" are opened, and I go into them and praise the Lord (Psalm 118:19). Here too I have had a sweet view of God's love in Christ Jesus, manifested to us in the way of communion with him. "Did not our hearts burn within us, while he talked with us by the way?" And though this talking may be, and sometimes is, in finding many faults, and giving some correction and much admonition and counsel, yet if we have the witness of the Spirit that he is teaching us by all these means, we cannot but cry, "You are my God, and I will praise you."
How often have I felt this, with a lively testimony of God's goodwill: "The Lord has chastened me sore, but he has not given me over unto death." He has been pleased to make a discovery to my soul of the necessity of a sharp furnace; he has plainly shown me many times the mischievous effects of an easy path, the danger of the foolish pride of my heart, which must be humbled, and the repeated blows which are necessary for that purpose; and the exceeding shortness of memory of that man of sin within us, for unless the strokes are repeated the effect is quickly lost.
"You are the temple of the Holy Spirit." "An habitation of God through the Spirit." What manner of men then ought we to be? What manner of men should we be, if left in the quiet management of ourselves? I stand deeply convicted here, and can only pray with Hart,
"How harsh so e'er the way,
Dear Savior, still lead on;
Nor leave us until we say,
Father, Your will be done."In this I perceive another lesson, namely, the conflict of two contending parties, the flesh and the spirit, two manner of men within us, which is a mystery to the world and to all carnal professors.
While we thus gain by trading, and profit by affliction, we learn to believe and feel that the Lord Jesus Christ is full of compassion, gracious, and longsuffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth. One said, "It is good for me that I have been afflicted" (Psalm 119:71). We do not know how gracious our God is, until we have been well immersed in afflictions. In them we find his affections are always moved towards us, and that he is plenteous in mercy unto all that call upon him. By them does God "turn to the people a pure language" (Zephaniah 3:9); and by degrees we know what it is to become a little child, and learn in heart, in secret before God, as well as openly, to prefer others that fear God before ourselves. An ear made ready, a heart warmed with the love of God, and abased under a sight of our sad condition, will receive what the Lord may send us even by babes, or fools made wise unto salvation.
O then, may you and I prize this teaching of God's most Holy Spirit, and thus make manifest to the church, to our own families, and in the world, that we are not such as have "a name to live", while dead in trespasses and sins; but that, life and immortality have been brought to light in us, through the gospel. So may we live, and so die, is the prayer of your unworthy friend,
James Bourne
Letter 64
(To a Friend ) Chelmsford, September 1834.
Dear Friend,
I cannot tell you with what awe I ponder over your case, and see in it the reality of God's Word. O how my foolish heart flattered itself for many years that peace, peace, was all that I should know! I stopped my ears and blinded my eyes to God's denunciations against this sin of our nature, and I thought that I should somehow escape in a measure what the Lord continually told me out of his Word, where he speaks of rebukes and chastenings as among the strongest tokens of his love. "Surely I am more brutish than any man, and have not the understanding of a man" (Proverbs 30:2); and this was the reason why I almost sank into despair when the rod was laid on my foolish back, not considering what I want now to remind you of: "Know you not that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death? Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death, that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life." And again, "Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin" (Romans 6:3-6).
What is the conflict that you have now long labored under, but the crucifixion here spoken of? You and I have found it a painful lingering death, which must be labored under while we remain here below. The apostle tells us of the necessity of dying daily. Do we not in this sad case find the world and all created things diminish in value, and the Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of life and glory, increase in value and desirableness? Crucifixion reduces us, with all our lofty thoughts, to dust; it breaks our bones of conceited strength. O how deeply has the Spirit of God convicted me of this at times! If ever I have learned these truths, it has been by this crucifixion. Never lose sight of these precious words, for I well know the force of them: "Afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to them that are exercised thereby" (Hebrews 12:11).
This chapter (Romans 6) cuts very close; I read and tremble, I pray and confess, and know most truly that it is God's Word. There can be no rising to newness of life, but first through this terrible crucifixion. I have need of all the encouragement to prop up my trembling heart; and having found the truth of it, I long to tell you that this which has happened to you is no strange thing, but the direct way to glory. "If we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him;" and "Being made free from sin, and become servants to God, you have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life."
I have been lately reading the first sixteen chapters of Ezekiel, and have great cause to admire the riches of God's grace to me in making me tremble at almost every line. If it pleases the Lord to take us in hand now, what a mercy! How many are left with untempered mortar about them until the judgment day! When we are brought to the bar of God at midnight, when no mortal eye sees, and the sentence of death is upon our souls, then indeed are our idols thrown to the moles and to the bats, and the cry of the publican only suits us: "God be merciful to me a sinner." How often have you and I found hope to abound in these low places! Then let us not be weary nor faint in our minds; you shall reap in due season; for I know the Lord brings abundance of good out of all these seeming evils.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 65
(To M. B.) Chelmsford, September 1834.
Dear Cousin,
My letters must appear very melancholy to my friends; my spirit seems so full of fears lest the Lord should execute upon me those judgments which are threatened upon his people that depart in heart from him. It has not been until of late years that I laid to heart such expressions as these: "Strait is the gate and narrow is the way that leads unto life, and few there be that find it": "He is like a refiner's fire, and like fuller's soap." Fury, rebukes, chastisement, horror, captivity, destruction, death, all these things for some time passed over my head as belonging to the false church, I did not see that the body of sin within needed them all, and a daily crucifixion. My mind ran much upon the words, "Make you perfect, establish, strengthen, settle you," but not upon the means that go before (1 Peter 5:10), and I looked for all the comfort and prosperity which is set forth in the Word; so that when I was first cast into spiritual prison, which I soon found was for a debt I could not pay, I was almost ready to charge God foolishly, and to think him a hard master. It was long before the Lord showed me that I was covering my sins, and therefore could not prosper (Proverbs 28:13). The greater part of my airy confidence stood not the furnace. He is a jealous God, and will bring down the high tree, and exalt the low tree, and will dry up the green tree, and make the dry tree to flourish; "I the Lord have spoken, and have done it" (Ezekiel 17:24). So he confounds the wisdom of the wise.
When I look at the case of —, as well as my own, though I tremble under the hand of God, yet I feel it safe and sure ground. The whole tenor of God's Word shows that "man in his best estate is altogether vanity"; he is worse than a brute, he can only do evil, and that with all his heart. I also perceive that as our Lord Jesus Christ had a sore baptism for us, so we must be partakers of his sufferings; if we are rightly taught, our sin will daily bring on this crucifixion; if we are tenderly led, we shall die daily to those abominations within and without, that are as a wall of partition between God and us. Pride, unbelief, independence, fullness of bread and spiritual idleness very quickly grow rampant; without the rod, the furnace, and the sword of the Spirit we should grow to that spiritual deformity of being all head, and this sentence would be pronounced, "Depart from me, I know you not."
Which then would you choose, the sore conflict, with many sweet hopes at times, or an easy path only for a season? I truly believe there will now be no hesitation here. You know as well as I, what manner of persons the Lord says we ought to be, and he will make us to be; and you also know, as well as I, that there is no other means of bringing this about but through the furnace.
The Lord has been pleased to set forth in his Word, in many different ways, how precious is the trial of faith. Sometimes it is said, "Think it not strange concerning the fiery trial that is to try you;" sometimes, "I will show him how great things he must suffer for my name's sake," that the poor and feeble may come after with some encouragement and hope. All this is to teach us, in some small measure, how exceedingly hateful sin is in the sight of God, and how deep the stain is upon our hearts. It is for no small cause the Lord Jesus left his glory and shed his blood; and he will make us feel this truth. He has made me many times, since I have been here, cover my face for the shame I felt under a discovery of my sin as hateful to God. With what awe I thought of our poor friend, and with many prayers, and some sweet ones, begged the Lord to favor him, and to help me!
In the twenty-four hours, how little time is occupied in communion with God! Yet I am sure there is a nature in me, called the new man, that delights in that communion more than in anything else. Then how rampant a principle is the contrary which domineers so much as to have the pre-eminence so long! Does not this open our eyes to the necessity of the furnace? Can we not justify God when he comes with the rod? Does it not stop your mouth from muttering perverseness? It does mine; and I am enabled at times from my heart to utter the prayer, "Enter not into judgment with your servant, for in your sight shall no man living be justified."
These are my latter days; I feel a great desire to have clear work, not contending against God, but falling under every conviction, and seeking God's remedy in his appointed way. However desperate my case or yours may seem, we have an example and encouragement in the word, "You have delivered my soul from the lowest Hell" (Psalm 86:13). This, I believe, was written for our learning, because the enemy is ever telling us that our case is worse than any. I must finish my letter with Hart's words,
"That foe can't boast of much
Who makes us watch and pray."Be sober, be vigilant, and hope to the end; and believe the cross and the crown inseparable.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 66
(To Mr. Nunn) Woodham Mortimer, October 1831.
Dear Friend,
Although I had solicited your company I could not feel disappointed when you fixed not to go, for as soon as we parted many difficulties arose in my mind, and I felt I must go alone; but though greatly cast down, I said, Lord, will you go with me? I dread my journey; I always find sorrow; and in a strange place all seems covered with darkness without you. And presently something whispered, "I will be with you." Lord, I replied, What does this mean? Is this your voice? And it was repeated twice more before I reached Cavendish Square. Yet I began my journey much cast down, and was dull and sluggish all the way, and knew not how it would end, nor whether that very sweet sensation of contrition and peace that I felt when the above words were spoken was not purely natural. I was filled with heaviness all the night, discontented with I knew not what. I took up Boston's Crook in the Lot, but could find nothing for my case. I then turned to the Book of books, the Word of God, and there I found what never fails in time of extremity, and what I am not in the least able to set forth; but this I know, "His mercy endures forever."
In 2 Kings 17 we are told that Hoshea king of Israel did that which was evil in the sight of the Lord, and for many things he was shut up and bound in prison. This made me ponder, Why am I so shut up? A little further it is said, "The children of Israel did secretly those things that were not right against the Lord their God." Do I stand clear here? A believer rightly taught will not be found in open wickedness and profanity; I saw at once with much condemnation that that dryness and dullness of spirit which often comes over me is one of the secret things that God hates. It soon alienates the affections from him, his Word, his people, and his ways. No wonder therefore that we find ourselves shut up in prison. I also perceive to my sorrow a great deal of secret carnality in the whole of my life, going far too near the spirit of the world in maxims, and customs, and habits, covered well with a spirit that will justify anything we choose to walk in. This is a secret which it is a shame to speak of, and I have often been shut up for it. And we are not contented to be found here ourselves, but in this chapter we are charged with causing our sons and daughters also to pass through that fire. This too is covered with ten thousand excuses, but I know there are times and seasons when we are ashamed of the secret, and are shut up and bound because of it. There is no end of causes; my soul was this morning brought very low, fully justifying the Lord for all the shutting up I had known, and I only wondered that he would take any notice of me, the very portrait of Hoshea.
In this condition I turned to the Epistle to the Hebrews, to see what the Lord Jesus Christ could do for his people, or such as in distress call upon him; and there I saw that he upholds all things by the word of his power, that his throne is forever and ever, and that he made Heaven and earth. O, my dear friend, pray attend. Seeing we have such a Friend, "therefore we ought to give the more earnest heed to the things we have heard, lest at any time we should let them slip." What is such a worm or dead dog as I am, that he should be mindful of me, who have done so many secret things to displease him? What is the son of man, a corrupt lump of clay, that the Lord should visit him? See how beautifully the apostle shows our condition; first, that man in the image of God had all things in subjection under him; then, that man having lost that image, has not now all things put under him. "But we see Jesus," suffering death for us, and crowned with glory and honor.
I shall never in this world be able to set forth my sensations in reading the whole of this. O how sweet the tenth verse, and then the eleventh was as if it had been written thus on my heart; he that sanctifies and I who am sanctified, are both one; for which cause he is not ashamed to call me his brother. "Behold I" (says Christ), "and the children which God has given me." To be one of these, what in the world can be compared with it? To have that "merciful and faithful High Priest" to atone for our sins; and however shut up or bound in prison, to get one such word as this from him: "Say to the prisoner, Go forth!" Neither men nor devils can then hold the poor sinner any longer.
I have indeed proved that the Lord is with me; but I never expected such a ray of heavenly light to dart into my soul on this side of eternity. To him be all the glory.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 67
(To Mrs. Burrell) Woodham Mortimer, 9 October 1834.
Dear Friend,
You have been often upon my mind during the past summer, and I cannot help including you with myself and many more among us, as in the number of that "poor and afflicted people" which the Lord will leave in Zion. The Lord, as a Sovereign, keeps some of them continually under the sentence of death temporal, so that there often seems but a step between them and it; and this (as I know full well) excites ten thousand fears and reasonings, which we cannot assuage. It is true we read, "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me;" but there is often a secret fear, Will it be so with me?
With all my heart I believe it, when by faith I perceive that Christ was in all things made like unto his brethren, "that he might be a merciful and faithful High Priest in things pertaining to God, to make reconciliation for the sins of his people." Then the scene brightens, and hope springs up, an anchor of the soul, and removes the slavish tormenting fears that bore me down before. And now I feel another grief; for as soon as the cloud returns, I begin to suspect the faithfulness of that Friend who has dealt so tenderly with me at all times. How this discovers the weakness of my heart, and how frail I am!
This day I have been greatly ashamed before God in meditating on these words, and feeling an interest in them: "In all their affliction he was afflicted, and the Angel of his presence saved them; in his love and in his pity he redeemed them; he bare them and carried them all the days of old;" and after all this, to suspect! I may call it an heart-rending sight. I dare not excuse myself and say, I have no power to do otherwise; no, I can only say, O Lord, have mercy on my sin! And the more I plead against myself, the more he pleads for me. Is not this enough to break your heart and mine? Consider, that as "he himself has suffered being tempted, he is able to support them that are tempted."
"Venture on him, venture wholly,
Let no other trust intrude."The prayer of Christ (John 17) has been so sweet to me this day as to make me feel myself a fool indeed; I cannot write to you as I ought. My heart is full of the wonders of God's grace. O how sweetly do I see the brightness of the eternal Son of God, described in Hebrews 1, harmonize with the wonders of his grace in that prayer! It is indeed life eternal to "know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent." Jesus said, "I have manifested your name unto the men which you gave me out of the world." "I pray for them; I pray not for the world, but for them which you have given me, for they are your; and all mine are your, and your are mine." When the Spirit witnesses these things upon our hearts, how self-debasing! Mysterious words! Nothing but that faith, which is of the operation of the Spirit, can give credit to a personal interest in such divine and heavenly things. "All mine are your, and your are mine!" and I included here! I could not see to read on for tears of consolation and hope.
O how this humbles, though it enlarges my heart in the sincerest desires of love for all the afflicted people of God; as the Lord says "that they all may be one, as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be one in us." O sweet union! "And the glory which you gave me, I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one. I in them, and you in me, that they may be made perfect in one." Then the last three verses close the divine and heavenly union. I know not how to leave off, I am made so sweetly to receive the testimony of the Spirit that I am here included. But what secret shame I feel, and cannot forgive myself, under this sense of the favor of God, when I call to mind my unfruitful life; how light and vain and idle I have been! I beg for that discretion and prudence spoken of in Proverbs, for natural prudence fails when most wanted.
And now in a moment I revert back to my acquaintance with — and —, and the vain profession we walked in, and how hardly I then thought they dealt with me. But now I see that they were the rod the Lord made use of to humble me to hear our present ministry, under which he has been further pleased to open my ears to discipline, and I have been taught by the Spirit the necessity of the daily cross, and to put off the old man. By this ministry, under the kind hand of God, that faithful sentinel, the fear of God, has continually preserved me from plunging away from the sweet unity spoken of in this letter; and many more mercies which I have not room to write, have come through that teaching with which I have been so kindly favored of God. I think I shall bless him to all eternity for all the rods, crosses, and afflictions that bring to so glorious an issue: "I in them, and you in me, that they may be made perfect in one."
Yours in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 68
(To Richard Dore) Woodham Mortimer, October 1834.
Dear Friend,
As you and I are prevented from having much personal fellowship on account of your deafness, I take this means of repeating what we have often considered before, with a full belief of the truth of it, that it is through much tribulation we must enter the kingdom. You know, as well as I do, that a cross prayed off yesterday will not exempt us from a fresh one today; that bonds and afflictions abide us in every place, and under all circumstances.
The Lord was pleased to whisper in my heart that he would be with me here, and I must declare that he has been nearer than I expected. I foolishly could not open my mouth wide enough, for surely he was ready to fill it. I think I never saw the Word to sparkle so with glory as it did when I first came here for two or three days. Surely I know in some measure what the apostle means by "joy unspeakable". Our poor words cannot possibly describe the love, the power, the glory, of Christ. The disciples could only say (what you and I have often said after them), "Did not our hearts burn within us, while he talked with us by the way, and while he opened to us the scriptures?" But alas, when all this subsides, then I find myself like Joseph and Mary, seeking him sorrowing in all directions.
I have still with me the promise of God, "I will be with you;" and in all dangers, and wherever I go, I keep saying, Lord, "remember the word unto your servant, upon which you have caused me to hope" (Psalm 119:49). Darkness covers me, and I cannot see my way as I did; but I perceive that he is with his people as a perpetual check to the violence of the old man, which we are so slow in putting off; he is with them in the furnace, under the rod, in darkness, in despondency, under manifold fears and temptations, even when we begin to think we have quite mistaken the way, and are for giving up, as if it were altogether a fruitless effort in the flesh that will end in confusion. At last he kindly whispers, "Be of good cheer; it is I", I that am humbling you, I that am correcting you for your folly, I that am breaking that cursed spirit of independence: "Be not afraid;" "because I live, you shall live also." Thus upon every fresh manifestation of his Father's presence, we shall know that he is in his Father, and we in him, and he in us (John 17:21-23).
This is the union with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, that you and I must covet above all things; and it is also union with the church militant. Therefore let us be specially careful to maintain that love in all directions, as the peculiar fruit and effect of God's love to us.
You are now collected together for public worship, which I am deprived of, and not only so, but distracted with the song of the drunkard. We little know the violence we are redeemed from. The next room contains numbers of men who have not the decency of brute beasts; and what shall we say to this? "Such were some of you, but you are washed"; naturally quite as vile; it is the grace of God that makes the difference. We who were alienated from God, and far off from him by wicked works, are now made near by the blood of our dear Redeemer, whose name I often hear in this place cast out as evil; but he will one day make them to call for the mountains to fall on them and cover them from his wrath.
Do remember me in your prayers, that nothing may move me from the simplicity of the gospel.
Yours in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 69
(To M. B.) Woodham Mortimer, October 1834.
Dear Cousin,
I was exceedingly glad to perceive that the spirit of your letter throughout was the pulling down of the strongholds of Satan. That which appears to us to be the destruction of our souls is the Spirit of God enlightening us to see the danger we are in, which rouses our fears: "You are weighed in the balances, and found wanting." But having the Spirit of life, a cry is brought forth, and we perceive in God's light a remedy provided; and though we cannot at once obtain relief, yet there is an unaccountable cleaving, like that of a man who is drowning; and with Jacob we say, "I will not let you go, except you bless me."
You will say, But why all this casting down? You have fully set forth the reason in your letter; it is because of the many things we are found walking in, which would harden our consciences so that we should soon forget how hateful sin is in the sight of God, and rest in talk, unless the Lord put a thorn into our nest. If he discover his love, it will be by chastening us sore, and not giving us over unto death. The rebukes we have for a treacherous backsliding heart are not because God is departed from us and will hear us no more, but the scourge is used to preserve us from the very evils we fear.
You say you cannot find abiding sweetness, tenderness, and godly fear. Who can? You will find it in glory, but not here below. "Lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your feet;" so that that which is lame may be healed. This is the sweetest abiding place you will find on earth, and here the greatest tenderness and godly fear will be manifest, and all the spreading branches of the corrupt principle within will be carried to the fountain opened for sin and for impurity, and there will wither and die. This is the effect of a divine and spiritual "looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith". We must consider him who endured the cross, lest we be faint and weary in our minds. Do we feel a contradiction of that sin within us, or a compliance with it? No doubt both; hence come our sorrow and conflict. Christ willingly laid down his life for our sin; do not you and I, at times, willingly suffer with him? Are we not made willing to endure all contradiction, and to put off the works of the flesh, called the old man? This is to resist, "striving against sin", and it is the Spirit of God in us that does it; and though the conflict be sharp and long, it is the way by which we are led eventually "to Jesus, the mediator of the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling, which speaks better things than that of Abel" (Hebrews 12:2-24).
I have many mercies to acknowledge, and wonder at the goodness of God in fulfilling his promise, "I will be with you." Constantly, night and day, I plead it, and it never fails. I have quite a new scene here, but all things are possible with God; for though writing in the midst of noise and singing and drunkenness, I have been surprised that for a long time together I have not heard the tumult, my mind has been so sweetly abstracted. Yet I look forward to the time when this labor will be over; my employment from home becomes a great burden; but as I have written to you, so I desire to exercise myself, and to endure hardness as a good soldier.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 70
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 22 November 1834.
Dear Friend,
I am grieved to hear that you have been again attacked. In one of my former letters I ventured to caution you that if there should be an apparent cessation of arms, you must not sleep, nor put off your armor. I am sure that if the Lord has sent you to preach the Word where of late it has not been heard, the enemy will raise a strange outcry, and tell you that you "cast out devils by Beelzebub the prince of the devils". You must be a continual living reproach to all who live in sin, whether professor or profane; and the thorn goads them so, that they spit their venom in enmity against the Most High himself. If it be he who has set you to the work, it is his power and will they strive against and defy; and often for awhile such may seem to prevail.
The Lord has many things to do in such a tumult as this, that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed. Who knows but that—, who in his bitterness vows vengeance, may yet, like the jailer, cry out, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?"—even after scourging Paul and Silas? Perhaps these troubles will try the spiritual integrity of your friend, and prove whether true religion will be as closely adhered to when held in dishonor by false professors, as when it walks in silver slippers, as Bunyan says. How will your sober friend Mr. M. act, who, like Nicodemus, comes by night? Perhaps these tumults may draw a line which without them might never have been discovered.
There is one thing yet of more consequence to yourself; that is, How goes on the work within? Does every fresh appearance of the rod (for such no doubt it is in the hand of God) bring on a fresh humbling, and lead you in heart to be willing to be servant of all? If so, no evil (as such) can befall you; nor must you think it strange concerning the fiery trial; it is foremost among your best tokens, especially if it lead you to secret converse with the Lord Jesus Christ. He talks with us of judgment as well as of mercy.
Whatever you are or may be in your public capacity, this I know, that if saved at all, you must be a sinner saved by grace and every outward dishonor shown to you, if it operate aright, will have the effect of great self-abasement before God in secret; and here the Lord will show you not only that you are hated for telling the truth, but that you are chastened by the Lord as a son in whom he delights. If you are to be received by this heavenly Father, it can only be through correction. Whatever hand may be lifted against you, no blow can be given until the Lord permit and if it come, it is because it is needed.
"This is an hard saying, who can hear it?" Can you? If you can, then be assured the Lord has opened your ears to discipline; and when you understand experimentally this terrible work, you will be the most proper person in the world to declare what all the prophets and apostles have declared in ages past, that it is only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel that Jesus Christ was sent.
Your situation raises in me a spiritual anxiety for your welfare and though I cannot fathom the depth, nor measure the extent of your present trial, yet I know full well that I may say to the righteous, "It shall be well with him" (Isaiah 3:10), and there now remains no labor so essential as to know that that important word belongs to us. Let me entreat you to be much in earnest. The Lord has blown the trumpet in Zion, the alarm is given. It is a day of gloominess, for the enemies we have to contend with are powerful; many faces gather blackness with rage. The day of the Lord is great and very terrible; and unless you are enabled to turn to him with all your heart, with fasting from strife, with weeping and mourning, and heart-rending confessions, you will not find what is most desirable, that the Lord "is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and of great kindness, and repents him of the evil. Who knows if he will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him?" (Joel 2:1-14).
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 71
(To M. A. H.) London, 25 November 1834.
Dear Friend,
I was sorry to find you were so cast down as not to be able to come among us last night. If you had come you would have found that it was no strange thing which had happened to you. You with the rest of us have been building with hay and stubble, with the stones of emptiness and vain conceit; and the Holy Spirit is come to discover the work to the foundations, and the appalling discovery turns your loveliness into corruption; for here the Lord is said to break our graven images to pieces, and makes us to know that childhood and youth are vanity. This cannot be known but by means of the furnace, in which God burns up much goodness which we thought would stand the test; and instead of it nothing is left but desolation. In this naked state, in which you now are placed, you (like myself and others) believe your wound to be incurable; and so God designs that you should believe. Here there will be a secret spiritual howling and wailing and mourning, like that you now express. The Lord calls it Jacob's trouble, and declares there is none like it, "but he shall be saved out of it" (Jeremiah 30:7). You are ready to say, Yes, but mine is different from yours, there is so much sin discovered against light. True, I admit this; but God says to every one that comes into spiritual trouble, There is no trouble like yours, yet, notwithstanding this, you shall be delivered.
I have told you before that for want of the spiritual labor in which you now are, there have been so many abortive births. New wine in old bottles will not endure. Emptying from vessel to vessel is in experience a painful operation. Consider what a broken spirit means; when you break the spirit of an unruly child you know it is by much correction and many stripes; yes, a long perseverance in opposing all those natural inclinations and pursuits in which the child promises itself much happiness. So spiritually you must now expect more or less of this, lest through your independent spirit you should learn to live without God in the world. Besides, God delights in them whose spirit he breaks; they become, under his divine management, fit temples of the Holy Spirit. Such also learn that sin is exceeding sinful; and it is God's design that you should know what an evil and bitter thing it is to sin against him (Jeremiah 2:19 and 48:3).
Without this work you would, like the unruly horse, rush into presumption, or like the stubborn mule, lie down in your sin unpurged. All the children of God have a principle of Esau within them, as well as of Jacob; and we would naturally desire that these might dwell together without being disturbed. If this were suffered Jacob would soon be silenced, and must never have a word for God, nor show his head at any time; but not so. The Lord steps in, and behold, "How are the things of Esau searched out! how are his hidden things sought up!" The deception is discovered. These Esaus would eat up all the spiritual bread of life, and would soon wound you and leave you for dead. But the Lord comes in that day, the day of Jacob's trouble, and will destroy the wisdom of these Edomites within, and for his violence against his brother Jacob, Esau shall be "cut off for ever". This is the labor you are now under, and I do not wonder at your dismay. You could not make the work manifest if you were at ease. "But upon mount Zion shall be deliverance." When? When the humbling dispensation you are under has had its due effect, and when you dare not so much as lift up your eyes to Heaven for shame. It is under this judgment of God against the Esau within that the kingdom of Christ is set up in our hearts; for the new wine being now in new bottles, both are preserved to eternal life (Obad. 6-23).
You will one day bless God for all the labor and sorrow you have had in this long night of affliction. "Let patience have its perfect work;" in due time you shall reap if you faint not. I am often overpowered by weariness, but in my mourning and lamentation for the cause of my sorrow, which is sin, the Lord speaks to me in much compassion, telling me that he is touched with the feeling of my infirmities, and knows both how to deliver, and also the best time when. My prayer is for you, with much encouragement, that you may patiently endure, but give him no rest until he make you "a praise in the earth".
Your affectionate friend in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 72
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 9 December 1834.
Dear Sir,
I was not taken by surprise when your sister called this morning to tell me the issue of your late trial, which I look upon as only the threshold of another. Therefore you must still remember that "Elijah was a man subject to like passions" with you; and as he prayed, so have you, and found much support and many tokens for good, by which your spirit has in a measure been kept from contention. You have often prayed that you might know the mind of God in your anxious case, which is now unfolded. It is said, "Elijah prayed again that it might rain." Fresh necessities and fresh trials will bring forth further cries, and, like Elijah, you will find yourself compassed about with many contending passions. Yet this did not stop his prayers, nor must your fears and anxieties stop yours, but rather put a keenness to your spiritual appetite, to clear every step of your way. What makes prayer effectual and fervent? The intercession of Chris, and a deep sense of want (James 5:16-18).
Remember how Christ was rejected of men, and "we hid as it were our faces from him", ashamed of him, his laws, his government, his kingdom, his crown, his cross; and you will find many will be so ashamed of you as that they will not be seen walking or talking with you, and will cross the street, or turn short down another, rather than meet so mean a person. Despised, afflicted, held in contempt, but let the contempt be what it may, our Lord has suffered more. He therefore tells you, "In your patience possess you your souls;" "In due season you shall reap, if you faint not."
I have been in these sad places, and felt it at times hard to bear; but prayer ascended and pity came down, and here it was that "the oil and the wine" were poured in, with such a light upon my path as I cannot describe, and many secret assurances respecting both body and soul, that I dare not tell anybody; an unfolding of the mysteries of providence and grace, which in due time were fulfilled to the confusion of all my enemies, and the salvation and consolation of my own soul.
There is need that we should be at times "in heaviness through manifold temptations", you, in order to know how to speak to such as are tempted, and I, to keep me constantly dependent upon the Lord Jesus; and all of us for the humbling of our souls in the dust, and for keeping in continual remembrance the exceeding sinfulness of sin.
You will find your great advantage over your enemies by dealing earnestly with God in secret. While they are talking, you must be praying; and this will bring about the open reward. "Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end." All opposition and persecution is as grass, all kind intrusion of false friends is as the flower of grass—both must wither and fall away, "but the word of the Lord endures forever"; and if the Lord speak this word to you, woe to them that mock! "You shall go to all that I shall send you, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Be not afraid of their faces, for I am with you to deliver you, says the Lord." May he manifest to you his full purpose in sending you "to root out, and to pull down, and to destroy, and to throw down, and to build, and to plant" (Jeremiah 1:7-10).
Remember, "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He who goes forth and weeps, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him."
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 73
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 17 January 1835.
Dear Friend,
I think it is a great mercy that you should be (as you say you are) ashamed, and afraid, and cast down. It is always so where the Lord is disciplining a man to bear tidings for him. You will find Ezekiel, Jeremiah, and Isaiah all perfectly understood this. You ought not to say you see not one footstep before you; the first sentence of your letter contradicts this, for the Lord evidently sent you once more into St. Andrew's pulpit. The prayer goes no further than this: "Give us this day our daily bread." All these little oversights are to show the reality of what you wrote, namely, your weakness and want of submission; not to dishearten, but to discover the utmost of man's wisdom and strength to direct his way. These perplexities are to teach you from experience to set before the people how they are to proceed when surrounded with all sorts of difficulties, and not to despair if they find the want of submission, enmity, dissatisfaction, and a whole host of desperate evils in battle array against God. Even in such a case, set forth before them what God has taught you in the furnace for that very purpose, even that effectual prayer (which I now copy from one of your letters), "Fulfill the good pleasure of your will, O God, in me." And when he has brought us to this, he will plead our cause, and make manifest that he is on our side, and that the gates of Hell shall not prevail against us. There is in me a wonderful impatience to know how I am to live upon the Lord next week, both in providence and in grace; and in this anxiety I lose many present mercies, as well as opportunities of communion with him. The world wisely considers "a bird in hand is worth two in the bush"; but the children of God are never so safe as in the midst of fears and dismay, trusting in the Lord, cleaving to the Lord Jesus Christ in prayer, with some measure of belief that he is able to save to the uttermost, clean contrary to all human probabilities and impossibilities. The Lord delights in all such as hope in his mercy. They shall never be finally ashamed, nor confounded, world without end. I have found it so, and still retain a secret hope that nothing is too hard for the Lord. He can do no wrong. He instructs us, and leads us about, a round-about way, as we think; but he keep us "as the apple of his eye." Prove him, and see if he will not leave a blessing behind. Only be sure to attend to one thing, that secret prayer goes up; and if you think that he does not clear your way in providence, yet see that he purges your conscience from every evil work, and owns you for his own adopted son. Gain that point daily, and then will this also be effectually added, he will "freely give us all things". I could never yet find a clear way that was satisfactory to the flesh, nor a smooth one wherein I prospered in spirit; and perhaps you will one day say you never were kept more tender in all your life than while under your present oppression. Be an apt scholar, beg for a docile spirit, be tractable under the rod; rich fruits will spring out of humbling dispensations.
I have been greatly cast down lately, and feel myself a most unfit person to write to you. When I read your letter I wept before the Lord, saying, How can it be that I should be able in any ways to counsel a servant of your? Yet my judgment informs me that the power is of God. He can do what he pleases, and by what means he pleases; so I am encouraged to write, as also I have not ceased to pray for you, that the Lord would stand your Friend, clear your way, keep you in a low place, learning every day more and more that you are nothing, an empty pitcher, an earthen vessel, a fool for Christ's sake; then will the power and glory of God rest upon you.
Whatever you preach, be sure that it is that which you have tasted and handled of the word of life; and let your enemies hear it, as well as your friends, for who knows for what purpose the word of life is sent to Hertford? Whatever may be the pleasure of the bishop, rest assured he is in this matter God's messenger to you; do not hastily leave Hertford, even in the event of leaving St. Andrew's. We generally find the Lord unfolds his will by slow degrees; nothing is so darkening as a hurrying spirit. "No good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly."
After I had written the above, I began to contemplate the wonders that God had wrought by the empty pitchers and the lamps of God within them (Judges 7); this broke my heart under the feeling sense of my own condition, and the wonderful display of God's mercy to me in Christ Jesus. I shall be truly happy if you also find the same.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 74
(To C. G.) London, January 1835.
My dear Friend,
How greatly am I made to stand in awe, while in spirit I am made to look on the wondrous work the Lord is carrying on among you! You, and your sister too, will now believe, "He is terrible in his doing toward the children of men;" and you with us are now called to come and see this mighty work of God (Psalm 66:5).
My reading this morning was in Zechariah 11, which begins, "Open your doors, O Lebanon, that the fire may devour your cedars." I could not help remarking what a beautiful temple we raise with our own hands, and how finely we decorate it with all manner of cedar work; but when God comes in terrible majesty, as he has done to your sister, how the fire consumes all that ornamental work in which we trusted, and the very best of our confidences do not stand that fire. This I, as well as your sister, have found to be a terrible place. Here we learn what an evil and bitter thing it is to sin against God. Here also we have some sight of the filthiness of our own righteousness, and the foolish and empty means by which we adorn ourselves; the very remembrance of which covers us with shame. This fire destroys all vain confidence, and we sink into nothing.
Your sister now knows some little of the meaning of this: "The publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto Heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner." It is not, "I have nothing to, fear; I never doubt the mercy of God;" with many other such words. O no! but now it is: "Will you, can you, have mercy upon me?" O how the language changes when the fire has taken hold of the poor soul, and has begun with a most vehement flame to burn up much pride, vain conceit, and frivolous profession, that would never bring any glory to God!
If ever we are vessels meet for the Master's use, we shall have need of sharp work and much cleansing for that honorable purpose. A bad servant will leave the dirtiest corners; but in this fire, as your sister says, How are the hidden things sought out, as well as counsels of the heart, which we in false liberty seek deeply to hide! "The candle of the Lord" is little understood until this takes place; we imagine we can stand any trial, wade through the valley of the shadow of death, and fear no evil; but we are not aware that in this confidence we are like "a king against whom there is no rising up". Satan will not oppose his own kingdom, nor does he mind how many of his disciples are laid with seeming peace in the grave, for this will deceive more than anything. But if it please God to make a discovery of his wiles and snares, then he will seek to counteract the work another way, even by tempting to despair. His unceasing labor is if possible not to suffer us to obtain salvation through Jesus Christ; and sometimes the Lord suffers us to be put into Satan's sieve, yet though at such times the Lord is covered with a cloud, he is watching that we shall not be tempted above that we are able to bear.
I must confess I always find that when the trial has had its due effect, he makes a way for my escape; and I believe the time will come when this word shall be fulfilled, "Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion; . . . your King comes unto you; he is just" (in all that terrible work you have gone through) "and having salvation." Therefore it is said, "Turn you to the stronghold, you prisoners of hope." Under your present difficulties you have need of this stronghold; and I am sure he is nearer than you are aware of, and you will find "double" for all the sorrow you have had (Zechariah 9:9-12).
Your casting down is that you may long remember the wormwood and the gall, your soul have them still in remembrance and be humbled within you; that there may be no trampling on the blood of Christ, nor lightly esteeming the rock of our salvation; no flourishing profession covered with a double deceit, but transparency and godly simplicity; no kings and lords, but little children, whom Christ can take up in his arms and bless.
There is nothing in all the account you have sent but what I have been acquainted with. I cannot, so I beseech you will not, think it strange concerning the fiery trial which you now are in. I believe as you say, "It is even the time of Jacob's trouble," therefore you "shall be delivered out of it" (Jeremiah 30:7). And my prayer is that you may be kept in a low place all the days of your life as a guilty sinner saved by free and sovereign grace. We have all neglected this for years, and yet some of us have been partakers of it at last; and even restored after we have treacherously departed from him, because "he hates putting away".
From your sincere friend in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 75
(To M. J. and C. G.) London, 24 February 1835.
Dear Friends in the Lord,
I have had many anxious thoughts concerning you all, and many petitions have been put up in your behalf. Though now often visited with encouraging hopes, perhaps you do not find that clear coming forth which you expected. It is for the further discovery of that independent spirit which we all exceedingly like to live in. The Lord will make us feel our spiritual weakness, and teach us, by the inexpressible wants we fall into, to cry to him who alone can supply them.
The language of Scripture is everywhere to this effect: "Thus says the high and lofty One, that inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones." The Lord has been pleased to bring you in a measure to this, and here your lofty claims have been greatly changed, and for joy you have had great bitterness. Here I, as well as you, have feared destruction close at hand; but I found it was only to teach me that the lowest place best became me; and when there, I soon heard this language spoken to me: "I will not contend forever, neither will I be always wroth;" and I perceived the Word looked at me here and there with an encouraging smile. This did not lead me to conclude that all was settled and my conflict over, but rather caused me to press forward to make my calling and election sure; therefore I say, Whatever encouragement you meet with, remember what the apostle says: "Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect, but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus . . . . forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus" (Isaiah 57:16, 17; Philippians 3:12-14).
This brings me to the purpose of my writing. You all complain of spiritual death, and the many difficulties that surround you under your peculiar circumstances. You find you cannot walk as you have done. Here lies the cross; will you take it, or leave it? Will you tenderly watch what the Lord will have you to do? Will you anxiously seek instruction? Can you with your heart seek so as to obtain, or do you seek that God would reconcile that to you which would be suitable and convenient to flesh and blood? I hope you are made willing with our hymn to say,
"Choose you the way, but still lead on."
Until it please God to appear for you, I would advise you that seem united in spirit to fix certain stated times for divine worship, and let nothing interrupt you: reading the Scriptures, or some good author, beginning with one of Hart's hymns and prayer. I believe, if this be tenderly watched and diligently attended to, spiritual life will be maintained, and you will find the Lord as good as his word: "I will be to them as a little Sanctuary in the countries where they shall come" (Ezekiel 11:16). If such measures as these seem to meet your wishes, may the Lord prosper them, and make manifest his approbation by his presence; but if a thousand excuses are made, I fear spiritual death will come on.
Your sister is every day with us at our morning reading. I am continually exhorting her not to be here for two, three, or four years, and then to leave us just as she came, but that she may be able, as the apostle says, to make her profiting to appear. I earnestly desire she may be watchful and sober, and let no outward circumstances divert her attention from what the Psalmist sets forth: "One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple" (Psalm 27:4).
Beware of spiritual indolence; it is an enchanted arbor where we may sleep many days, and not be properly waked until the Lord, by some heavy judgment, rouse us under a deep and painful conviction of our treacherously departing from him.
Yours in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 76
(To M. G.) London, 1835.
Dear Madam,
"Behold, the eye of the Lord is upon them that fear him, upon them that hope in his mercy, to deliver their soul from death, and to keep them alive in famine" (Psalm 33:18, 19). When I read these words my mind was looking straight towards you; since which time I have seen your letter, and am exceedingly desirous, if the Lord should enable me, to write to you what has been much impressed upon my mind.
Last night I lay sleepless with the thought of your cases; I was much struck with the sober account you give of your feelings under the present dispensation, and the acknowledgment you make of the dangerous delusion in which you have been wrapped up. One of you in a measure brought out by the rod of God's power; another looking on and trembling for fear of his judgments; and another, like the Queen of Sheba, coming to hear the wisdom and power and glory of God among a poor and despicable people, no better than the broken pitchers which held Gideon's lamps.
You say, "Fearfulness and trembling did truly take hold upon me." Your sister's affliction, temporal and spiritual joined together, confirmed it, and there remained no more strength in you. You say further, "This has God wrought." I do not see why you should add, "All this is purely natural," for I conceive you are not a proper judge; nor do I see any cause for trembling, if it be not at God's anger against your sin. Then you question whether you can give up all for Christ; and add, "All must be forsaken." What is this all, or what is a part of it? I suppose in general terms, that inefficient profession you have hitherto lived in, in which are included many erroneous and fatal heresies, disputing the sovereignty of God and his eternal choice of his people, and the final perseverance of the saints, depending on the immutable purpose of God in Christ Jesus. Your religion was not the religion of the Bible, for these truths, or some or them, were left out of your creed, and instead of them were put in what is called deep piety; that is, dissembled love, sober looks, many works of outward kindness towards the dead professing church. I believe the sight of these things was the cause of your trembling, and brought the fearful judgments of God into your conscience. Many more things might be added as causes of the misery and fearful exercises you have lately fallen into, and are yet likely to be involved in, perhaps more deeply than you are aware.
I would have you very tender of God's teaching, and not hold fast that which he bids you let go. Let the Word of God be your rule; it will make a straight line for your feet, and teach you well to ponder your path. How can you touch pitch, and not be defiled? Withdraw from that which you see was your downfall. "Say you not, A confederacy" (Isaiah 8:11-13). Remember, "You are not your own. You are bought with a price." Ascertain by earnest prayer whence your profiting is to be derived; and let me again entreat you to watch the secret teaching of the Spirit upon your hearts, and consider that if he has brought you from a delusive profession, his sacred teaching will not guide you again to the desperate place of danger, the sight of which spiritually made you all to tremble. Take heed of the dangerous and stupefying effects of remaining in the use of such means as you have seen by the Spirit's teaching to be delusive. Be very cautious how you trifle here; for if the Lord has in any measure opened your eyes, it would be attended with very dangerous consequences to return, like the dog to his vomit, or a sow to her mire. Such often get their "bands made strong", and it is sometimes long enough before the Lord returns to a soul that has thus slighted his condescending teaching. I know the perplexing fears and dark mistrust that you must feel; and if under these dark sensations you are led to an ungodly compromise, you will perceive the Lord will show his displeasure by double darkness, and confusion that may be felt.
I desire to write most cautiously and tenderly, yet I dare not hide all I know. If you are determined to live godly in this present evil world, you must be hated of all men, and be a living reproach to all the dead professors about you. If you love this world, and the applause of those that walk in what is called deep piety, you will never know when real good comes, but will be like the barren heath. Let me entreat you all not to trifle with the light and convictions you have, but to be much in earnest with the Lord to arm you against all enemies, and make you willing (as you say) to give up all for Christ. It will be presently noised abroad that "Mercy also is gone on pilgrimage." Let them say all manner of evil against you falsely for Christ's sake; you shall rejoice in your portion when the King says, "Come, you blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world." "Then shall the righteous shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of their Father," though now covered with nothing but reproach.
Yours in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 77
(To M. J. and C. G.) London, 21 March 1835.
My dear Friends,
You excite me to write a second time to explain some things in which you have a little misunderstood me. Trembling at God's Word is set forth as a good token of the Spirit's work, but your rejoicing must not be in man's acknowledging your testimony, but in manifesting at what you trembled.
I think there can be no sin so great as to be convicted deeply, even to trembling, of an evil profession, and then against light, for the sake of a quiet house, to conceal that conviction, and to continue in those things which God has discovered to be unfruitful to you and hateful to him. He would not have led you to tremble at those things, if he had meant to teach you by them.
Salvation from first to last is close work, and there are few that be saved, though many make a profession. O take heed! You know not on what a brink you stand. If God has in any measure enlightened you, do nothing to extinguish that light. Give no right hand of fellowship to errors, or erroneous teachers. One of you has had some sharp work, and I would not have you suffer in vain, "if it be yet in vain". The true light must have life and power and efficacy so as to keep you from all things that are and have been discovered to be false. If the Lord is leading you "in paths that you have not known", and making "crooked things straight" before you, it is, as you truly say, unspeakable love, but love has many aspects. Plucking out right eyes, cutting off right hands, and many more such painful things, are set forth in God's Word as his dealings in love to his people, to take them from their idols. If this work be of God, he will put you into a thousand furnaces, but he will make you come to your first avowal, and forsake all for Christ. Yes, and you will think yourselves gloriously repaid for all your trouble.
I believe, with you, my last letter was a message to your souls, but am grieved that the most important point should be in a measure overlooked. You quote my words about attending to the sacred teaching; I was here still pressing and warning you to remember what you trembled at, and the discovery of your former errors. I fear you have not a sense of your danger, nor of the poisonous effect of evil communications, but are disposed to pad the cross, and make it soft to your shoulders. If you belong to God, you will see how he will oppose you in all such attempts, and make matters far worse for you than if you "turn the battle to the gate", and make Christ the Captain of your salvation. Do not be afraid of making too much use of Christ; he will not desert you in extremity. I know your cases are peculiar, and so are all the cases of God's people; this brings more honor and renown to him as a strong Deliverer.
Again I repeat, "You are not your own." Why should you embrace the bosom of a stranger to God's covenant, and become the members of a harlot? Such as are instructed as you lately have been must sit "as a sparrow alone upon the housetop", and "not be reckoned among the nations" (Psalm 102:7; Numbers 23:9). "Hearken, O daughter, and consider, and incline your ear; forget also your own people and your father's house; so shall the King greatly desire your beauty, for he is your Lord, and worship you him" (Psalm 45:10, 11). The Lord declares he will take all the mountains of difficulties away. Confer not with flesh and blood. "Remember Lot's wife."
Yours in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 78
(To M. J. and C. G.) London, 26 April 1835.
My dear Friends,
I have lately heard of you, and can truly feel for you under the difficulties you are surrounded with; yet I see nowhere in God's Word that you can obtain the prize without them. Human contrivances and human prudence have destroyed thousands. Many are the devices of man's heart, and many are the schemes by which he seeks to elude the cross; it is long before he quite understands, no cross, no crown.
The young man in the Gospel would give up everything but one thing; that being touched, he manifestly chose Hell instead of Christ. We all have our tender points, our beloved Isaacs, or idols of some sort, which are allowed for a while to be embraced, but the time comes with us all, called in Scripture "a certain day", when the Lord will judge us in righteousness, and discover what are the secret devices of our hearts, and what our affections are really set upon.
Your sister cannot forget in so short a time the despairing convictions she labored under, and what the Lord by his Spirit then dictated upon her heart. She then saw in a measure the difference between truth and error, between possession and profession, and was enabled to give up all for Christ. Then she found a door of hope, which will presently close if trifled with. From her late conflicts and conquests she ought to be a pattern to the rest of you, "holding faith and a good conscience", which some, not doing, "have made shipwreck". But I would rather hope that she may hold fast that good thing which appeared committed to her by the Holy Spirit in her late affliction; for there are many who turn away. But learn to endure hardness as good soldiers, and mind that you strive lawfully for the incorruptible crown; and the Lord give you understanding in all things (1 Timothy 1:16-19; 2 Timothy 1:13, and 2:3, 7).
I feel you have put upon me a most important task, for who am I, that I should counsel you? I am but weakness itself, and surrounded with all the difficulties and dangers that you are. I am ready to say, Do I make straight paths for my feet? Do I not turn that which is lame out of the way, but really get it healed by the blood of Christ? Do I walk as an example to my family, and a comfort to the church of God? I ought duly to weigh these things, or it may be said, "Physician, heal yourself", or learn first to take the beam out of your own eye, before you can see clearly to take the mote out of another's eye. If this be neglected, "You hypocrite" is the dreadful denunciation. Therefore I feel it a matter of great weight to take upon me to instruct others. Yet if it please God to make use of one so mean and ignorant, he can even by such an instrument warn you that "perilous times shall come"—that both men and women shall turn away from the power of godliness, though they retain the form: "led away with divers lusts", "ever learning, but never able to come to the knowledge of the truth". Perhaps the time is hastening when we shall not endure sound doctrine, but after our own lust heap to ourselves teachers, having itching ears, and shall turn away our ears from the truth, and be turned unto fables. Now if you are of God, you will be spiritually watchful, and seek to make full proof of the truth; if not, this battle will not be to your honor, nor will you, like the apostle, finish your course with joy, nor find that crown of righteousness which the righteous Judge will in that day give "unto all them that love his appearing" (2 Timothy 3:1-7; and 4:1-8). I find it hard work to be faithful, yet the Lord instructs me with a strong hand, and keeps me trembling at his judgments, both for myself and others, especially for you who are in such slippery places.
I quite understood your former letter, and this, and was grieved to see in them so much that is of the flesh, and not the Spirit's teaching. You ought by no means to walk after my counsel, unless the Spirit of God convince you of the truth of it. If your proceedings are only because you are bidden to do or to say anything, this has not the power of God in it to back it; therefore, when fortitude is most wanted, there will be none, and your good intentions, not being from the Lord, will easily be given up. If you are led of the Spirit, light, more or less, will come to discover what is truth, and where you are. In this teaching the fountain of the deep of your nature's evil would also be discovered, and your free will would sicken and die; and your concern would be so pressing that you would forget all other things whatever but this: "God be merciful to me a sinner." Your natural feelings are greatly excited, and the flesh makes a desperate claim, but God is a jealous God, and they that are his must crucify the flesh with the affections and lusts, and must both live and walk in the Spirit, and not have so much fleshly religion as you have set forth in your last letter. We must not deceive ourselves; if we sow to the flesh in walking after another's counsel without knowing why, we shall "of the flesh reap corruption". Therefore take heed, and make God your counselor, and in this way sow to the Spirit, and you shall "of the Spirit reap life everlasting". Do not be weary of this teaching, for that would manifest all your profession to be of the flesh. It is no small thing to be saved; many run in this race, and but one obtains the prize (Galatians 5:24; 6-9; 1 Corinthians 9:24).
Do not imagine I am not acquainted with your cases; I trust the Lord has condescended in some measure to show me that if salvation is come to your house, all your fleshly goodness and fleshly obedience will be burnt up in the furnace, and this will, by little and little, bring you to speak a purer language; but if you cannot discover my drift, I fear it is because the Spirit of God has not enlightened you to see how spiritual true religion is. May the Lord impress your minds with this, that transparency and godly simplicity, and no hiding of anything, are true tokens of the Spirit's teaching; and all short of this is human contrivance, which will not prosper. How can any counsel, if the principal half of the matter is hidden? The Lord will manifest his displeasure on this account, if you are his; if not, you will soon be weary of any fellowship with me.
Yours in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 79
(To C. G.) London, 1 June 1835.
My dear Friend,
I was much pleased with the sober manner in which you answered my last letter, and am greatly encouraged to believe the Lord will maintain your lot, and discover to you more and more the desperate deceitfulness of the heart, especially in being convicted of many things and purposes, the fountain of which you little suspected to be bitter, and to have need of healing. Be not disheartened at the sight of your weakness and irresolution, while it makes you tremble, and cleave the closer to Jesus Christ. Seek to be carried in his arms, and never venture to walk without his hand guiding you.
It is a sad thing to break through the hedge which the Lord has made; no doubt in this case the serpent will bite (Ecclesiastes 10:8). I have to my sorrow often found it so. A viper can get through a very small place. We are apt to think little liberties, a little relaxation, a little holiday-keeping (spiritually), cannot produce much harm; but a certain author says, We may see the beginning of sin, but who knows the bounds or issues thereof? Therefore, let us take spiritual heed not to break through the hedge.
You are surrounded with snares and difficulties; and remember no man knows his time. "As the fishes that are taken in an evil net, and as the birds that are caught in a snare, so are the sons of men snared in an evil time, when it falls suddenly upon them" (Ecclesiastes 9:12). Therefore be sober and watchful, and continually be seeking to have a clear work of grace upon your hearts; and if insensibility or stupor comes over you, be much in earnest prayer and confession, until the blood of sprinkling heal you. In this line of walking you will find too much exercise to listen to the various temptations that attend your present circumstances. No doubt it was for want of some such spiritual labor that David was led in an evil hour to go upon his house-top, where the snare was already laid for him. It was an evil time, though very short; yet if you read the history, the sword of God never departed from him all his days. Moses and Aaron and Samuel are set forth as God's peculiar people, yet each of them fell into this net; and it is said, "You took vengeance of their inventions" (Psalm 99:6-8). These things were written for our learning, and may you and I be found apt scholars.
It is said, "Dead flies cause the ointment of the apothecary to send forth a stinking savor" (Ecclesiastes 10:1). Our perverse ways after that we have tasted that the Lord is gracious, the spirit of the world, communicating with erroneous professors, a lifeless walk in a true profession, and many more such things, are these "dead flies", and lead observers to ask, Is this the fear of God? O how little worth is our religion, if we have not the honor of God tenderly at heart, and seek continually to have our feet washed as the Lord washed his disciples' feet. When the Lord puts his fear into our hearts we become like a candle upon a candlestick, that all that are in the house may see it; and our mercy is to be very diligent that it may be so, that our profiting may appear, not in the flesh, but in making it fully manifest that we are (more or less) led by the Spirit, and do not fulfill the lusts of the flesh.
May the Lord direct all your steps, and put you in the "cleft of the rock," and make all his goodness pass before you, is the prayer of
Your unworthy servant in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 80
(To J. G.) London, 3 June 1835.
My dear Friend,
Although I have already written to your sister, yet on the receipt of yours I cannot help sending you word how much I am comforted with your simple account, which displays the mercy of God to you in the utmost extremity. You have not much joy, and have many things yet to be cleared up; so have we all; but this which is already past truly manifests that the Lord has put his fear into your heart, and has brought you out of the miry clay of a false profession, where thousands perish, crying, Precious Jesus! having "a name" that they live, and yet being dead (Rev. 3:1).
You can now "sing of mercy and of judgment" (Psalm 101); therefore behave yourself "wisely in a perfect way". Let Christ, the perfect way, be your Friend and Guide in all things, and let your heart be perfect in your spiritual walk at home; that is, perfectly helpless in yourself, and perfectly at a point in making Christ your help in all your secret difficulties, both as it respects your own calling and election, as well as things you have to contend with in your outward walk. Set no wicked thing before your eyes, as necessary to be done for the sake of peace, but for God's sake hate the works and false doctrines of such as turn aside. A froward heart contends against God, departs from him, and makes the way broader than God's Word: and by this means slanders his best neighbor, the Lord Jesus Christ; and they that lightly esteem him, and his choice of his people, and his righteousness, will be cut off. He who cannot keep his mouth in the dust, and not so much as look at himself, God will not suffer. But if you are enabled to love and honor such as are faithful, and desire to live and die with them, this shall be your token, that you are "passed from death unto life", and shall have his presence watching over you in all your conflicts. Such as profess to know Christ, and yet in doctrine deny him, are called "deceitful workers" (2 Corinthians 11:13), and must not be followed; nor must he who counts lies be made a spiritual companion. The end of the psalm shows that earnest prayer and decided measures will alone do in such cases, before the evil gains admittance into our hearts, or we shall be covered with darkness, and know not how to find our way to our stronghold.
I could wish you to find the same sweet power and light that I at times find in the Word, the savor of which sweetly mixes itself in all my worldly engagements, and affords a comfortable prospect of a good hope in my end. That hope you now have found counteracts the despairing thoughts you once labored under. You have a measure of hope from what the Lord has already done, that it is not his purpose that you should "dwell with everlasting burnings", but that through grace you shall obtain everlasting life. Deal tenderly with every check your conscience gives, and this will keep it tender. Always lay to heart everything that brings on a lowering cloud, and let not your want of memory pass it away, but never rest until it be washed in the blood of the Lamb. We hope to hear of your welfare from time to time.
Your willing servant in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 81
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 8 June 1835.
My dear Friend,
I received your tidings, and wish to add, the Lord's ways are in the deep, and it is our mercy in all things to look well to the words of our Lord, "Nevertheless not my will but your, be done." I hope you will be able to remain at your post to comfort the few poor remaining sheep that have thus been driven. I am not at all surprised at the darkness and distress that this circumstance has brought upon you both; and though it has been coming upon you as gradually as it well could, yet I have no doubt it has brought much sin to remembrance. I would call to your mind that a horror of great darkness fell upon Abraham, very little before the Lord renewed his covenant with him. I well remember our friend and pastor, when he first exercised the ministry; it was under the most distressing difficulties and darkness, with great bondage and contraction of spirit; and yet to the confusion of all his enemies the Lord stood by him, and brought him through with a high hand; and through many groaning petitions, the misgiving fears and dismay that often overpowered him were sanctified to the humbling of his soul, and the seeking of still further testimonies of his being sent of God.
I am sure you will have the prayers of all here that understand "the affliction of Joseph", and know what spiritual baptism means. "Blessed is the man that fears the Lord;" he shall be prevalent with God. To him that thus walks uprightly, shall arise "light in darkness"; he shall know that the Lord is gracious, and righteous altogether. "Surely he shall not be moved forever," notwithstanding that the waves roar, and all things threaten destruction. Therefore be not afraid of evil tidings; trust in the Lord, and your horn shall be exalted with honor (Psalm 112).
Let your spiritual labor be manifest now in seeking God night and day, and never cease until he is pleased to enlighten your darkness, and compose your distracted, fluctuating mind.
From your unworthy servant in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 82
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 14 June 1835.
My dear Friend,
I am by no means disheartened by the difficulties you daily encounter. It is no small thing to bear tidings between the living and the dead; nor do I see how you could find a suitable word to broken-hearted sinners but by the perplexities you yourself endure. The lessons you are now learning in this furnace will enable you to discover the many hiding places and false hopes that we should like to take refuge in.
The enemy preaches to you the uselessness of pressing through a host of difficulties, any one of which is or ought to be sufficient to inform you that the Lord has no need of you. If this were to succeed, his end would be gained; but blessed be God, who instructs us with a strong hand, and will not give us over into the hand of the enemy, though he will bruise us, and make us eventually sit at his feet, willing to be instructed, and to go where he bids and do what he says.
Seek the Lord night and day until he returns; then you can assure your hearers they shall not seek in vain. Paul warned his hearers for the space of three years. Preach what you are taught, and nothing else. Let the Lord the Spirit dictate upon your heart, and give learning to your lips. Many will gladly hear your broken sentences of dismay, the power of God will be felt in them, and sinners will fall, though by such weak means. It is that the excellency of the power may be seen to be of God, not of man. The weaker you are, the more manifest the power of God; only give yourself wholly to prayer, that your profiting may appear. Be not too much cast down, nor look too much at things that are seen but beg for power to wait upon God without distraction.
I am glad you feel strength to remain at your post, for by this will eventually be discovered the purpose of God toward you. It would grieve me to hear of your hasty leaving. I cannot help feeling it much safer under present circumstances that you should be in this low state. I have no doubt it produces many confessions of things said and done, which in your former prayers you have often acknowledged ought not to be done. Perhaps you have not until now truly felt, "There is no health in us." The Lord will not teach you merely to say how lost men are, and the way they are to be saved, but will most effectually involve you in all the despondency and dismay of a lost perishing sinner, as the best means of warning others; and when the comfort comes you will also be able to encourage them. See Lamentations 3:22, 23.
May the Lord kindly look upon you and your wife, and direct all your steps steadily, that you may both patiently wait, and quietly hope for his salvation. Call to mind the many favors that the Lord shows you in this trial; the labor and toil many show in your behalf, how the Lord turns their hearts, to render you every service in your affliction, and their anxiety to find a place for you to preach in.
Your affectionate friend in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 83
(To Mr. W. Maydwell) London, 14 June 1835.
Dear unknown Friend,
I am glad to see your letter to Mr. Gilpin and that it has pleased God to give you some discernment between the dead professing church and the true church of God. I cannot but hope the Spirit of God has made you to feel the inefficiency of the one and the desirableness of the other; for the mirthful professors of the present day are not denied any of the pleasures and fashions of this world, and if you in your measure are dead to these through the fear of death and a broken law, to such the gospel is sent. You must not be disheartened because you find not abiding peace. "I am come to bring fire on earth; and what will I, if it be already kindled?" Judgment most commonly precedes mercy, and there is pulling down before building up, and breaking the clods and ploughing before sowing. None of these things are pleasant spiritually though both safe and necessary. The Lord will sooner or later turn us to destruction, before he bids us to return and live; and in the beginning of our profession we are not at all aware what this turning to destruction means. It is anything but abiding peace.
Be not discouraged if the assurance of salvation does not come about according to your notions of it; nor think that your safety consists in attaining to high things at once. "To this man will I look, even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and trembles at my word."
The despondency you speak of is to create a feeling sense of your weakness, and train you not for high things, but for small things; to hear the truth from a child; to think it a wonder of wonders if the Lord should condescend to visit you in ever so little a way by the ministry of a poor despised man. The furnace has been the means that has brought me down in many ways from my heights, and the furnace must still be heated and prepared to keep me down, and so it must be with you, if you are saved; by this you will get to know what is meant by "enduring hardness as a good soldier". In this low place you will prefer the honor of God to your own, which is hard work, for we value nothing and nobody so much as ourselves; and nothing can reduce this mighty self so much as the true efficacious and powerful grace of God. The great and mysterious work of grace in a sinner's heart is not wrought in a day; there is so much to be pulled down, put off, denied and crucified; and the Lord can do nothing but with broken hearts.
O may the Spirit of God quicken you! I hope you will be able by the grace of God to abide by the Word in this time of persecution and disgrace. Christ "made himself of no reputation." Can you find power from on high to give up your reputation? Or will the love of this present evil world in a profession entice you to betray him? Do not think that I wish in any way to judge my unknown friend, or can do so—no, by no means; yet we read such words as these left as a caution to us: "Is your servant a dog that he should do this great thing?" (2 Kings 8:13). If we suspect our hearts we are more likely to seek the Lord for strength to hold out in the hour of temptation.
May the Lord greatly enlighten and comfort you, and discover to you more and more the safety and sweetness of that salvation which is treasured up in Christ for all afflicted consciences.
From your unworthy servant in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 84
(To a Friend) London, 24 June 1835.
My dear Friend,
I must acquaint you that I too have a path of tribulation and am often greatly at a loss to see my signs (Psalm 74:9). All the difficulties and darkness that you and the rest of the friends at Hertford complain of, I am surrounded with, and sometimes so entangled by them as not at all to see my way out.
I am exceedingly comforted to find that the Lord so emboldens you as to make it openly manifest which way your heart beats, and that you are made willing after the inner man to despise the shame that must continually be upon all such as take up such a despicable cause. I trust it is because you have a view to the recompense that Moses set his heart upon. In the present low state of the church of God among you, there seems but little to flatter the natural pride of man, but we must remember, the Lord Jesus Christ made himself of no reputation for your sake and mine, and when we first enter the lists as soldiers for him, we are not always aware of the posts of danger in which we shall be placed.
However I may be told to sit down and count the cost, I am such a fool, never can beforehand settle these matters, for all my settlings are like the weather-rooster, in all directions in one day. So that when I come into the actual experience of heavy trials I feel all the weakness and uncertainty that you feel, and see no way of escaping God's judgments; already feeling myself more than half gone in fluctuating irresolute thoughts and fears, lest that good old path of tribulation should not be the right way, for there seems a prospect of much pleasure likely to go, and of nothing but contempt certain to be gained. These arguments are put into such reasonable shapes, with so many plausible appearances of truth, by our arch-enemy, that we in the confusion can hardly tell hitter from sweet. Yet here, with all these burdens upon us, will be found the arm of God's everlasting love underneath, protecting so that we do not finally settle on the wrong side; but by his over-ruling management he causes us to die to the world, to its applause as well as to its contempt. Sin grows so exceeding sinful, and God appears so holy, and our danger of perishing so great, that out of a keen feeling of the reality of these things we cry, "God be merciful to me a sinner."
Here we cannot pay much regard to any that might otherwise drag us back; but being in true earnest, we cry out, "What will you have me to do?" One says, Behold if I have wronged any, my heart cordially restores fourfold. The cross is kindly taken up; like the disciples we leave our nets, and follow the Lord; but not without sore conflict. "In your patience possess you your souls." "In due time you shall reap, if you faint not." So prays
Your unworthy servant in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 85
(To C. G.) London, 28 June 1835.
My dear Friend,
I would remind you of a dangerous point which our insidious enemy will gain, if the Lord prevent not by watchfulness and prayer: that is, "As your servant was busy here and there," the essential point was neglected (1 Kings 20:40). What with the anxious fear of offending friends, the difficulty of tracing the footsteps of the Lord, and misunderstanding his present design, you get confused and unsettled in every sense. I think the whole of this is to teach you "to turn the battle to the gate", and most earnestly to watch and see if the Lord will not give you some measure of composure to leave human events for him to settle and unfold as he sees fit. I never felt a happier moment in my life than when by the power of God's Spirit I once spoke these words from my heart, "Nevertheless not my will, but your, be done." This would leave room and time to seek to clear another point: whether your name be written in the Lamb's book of life.
You will in your present walk find nothing but hurry of spirit and legal bondage, no heart for reading the Word of God, no relish for half an hour's secret prayer, no room for meditation, no calmness for judging yourself, no sensibility to confess your sins. This is the very cause why you are reduced now to such a state of darkness as not to feel or to suppose you are in the right way inwardly or outwardly. I have no doubt if you could find power with God in prayer, the very discovery of his coming and going would bring along with it light upon your path. This is called walking in the fear of God, and would prove "a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death".
The condemnation that you say you feel for all you do is the effect of legal bondage, and has in it an expectation that by doing or forbearing you will excite the Lord's compassion. This drives you farther from the mark, and has a tendency to entangle you in a worse hurry of spirit, the bane of all spiritual seeking. I would therefore entreat you to turn your mind wholly to the state of your soul, and leave your outward matters in God's hand, and seek his kingdom, believing that, according to his Word, all things else will he added, and all enemies be made at peace with you.
Will it be any encouragement to you if I tell you that I find the way as difficult as you do, and this powerful body of sin a perpetual hindrance to my happiness? Some foolishness or other in me causes the Lord to depart, and it is often a sore and long absence, and brings much shame and many bitter reflections at the thoughts of my folly, and many confessions, before my heart is moved by his returning kindness.
May the Lord keep you all transparent, and not like "whited sepulchers"; and when you come before our spiritual Joseph, may you be able to say, "We be true men."
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 86
(To M. and J. G.) London, 4 July 1835.
My dear Friends,
Your first letter gives me an account of many things, and especially that my friend is not aware of the real lost condition of a poor creature that God takes in hand. It is true that in experience you know nothing as yet of the judgments of God; if you did, your trembling hand would not so lightly express your ignorance; nor would you, under a feeling sense of your fearless condition, so lightly have written that you were destitute of the fear of God. O how soon do we lose the little light we have been favored with, if we turn again to the "beggarly elements" (Galatians 4:9). May you and I duly consider these words, "If the light that is in you be darkness, how great is that darkness!" Those who are in that darkness cannot comprehend it, for they think they have light, and do not consider the Lord's words, "But now you say, We see, therefore your sin remains" (John 9:39-41).
You write upon the subject of religion, but not once tell me the nature of your exercises, nor whether the things which once afflicted you are removed, and how; nor do you describe any victory obtained over the world, the flesh, and the devil, in all your affairs. If you have not the fear of God, how can you know what can be had by fighting under the banner of Christ, the Captain of our salvation? How comes it that this Captain of your salvation (as you write) does not at times, in his terrible majesty, make you tremble? Is it because, as you say, you have not the fear of God?
If I might be allowed to judge, I fear you have not been ploughing with God's heifer since last winter; but perhaps, through the violence of Satan's temptations, you have sought for a cessation of arms, and have desired to rest upon your oars, and have sent over to the enemy some conditions of a truce. If so, no wonder you cannot pray, as you say; this is the most effectual way of stopping all spiritual fellowship. Is there yet a small remaining fear of your danger, or can you boldly assert you are satisfied with this line of things, and see no beauty nor truth in that way which is so narrow as to forbid all communion with what the Church of England calls "false doctrine, heresy, and schism"?
It is neither obstinacy nor temper that leads me to point out your danger and mine, but a sheer feeling sense of God's holiness and my sinfulness, that does not suffer me to trifle; but through trembling apprehensions of God's dealing with me in wrath, leads me not to consider any inconvenience I may put myself to, and leaves nothing in me or about me, but "God be merciful to me a sinner." This cry from the heart will bring about something worth receiving from God, as well as hearing about; and such as are in earnest seeking for these things will be greatly encouraged to find some who have obtained this desire of their hearts, namely, mercy.
And now, my other dear friend, why do you, too, write that you know nothing of these things, when the very next words are, "I have indeed an awful sense of the wrath of God against sin,"? and you add that, notwithstanding your dread of his anger, you can sometimes hope in his mercy. Yet all this is nothing! O my dear friend, you either darken counsel by a crooked walk, or you suffer great loss for the want of a spiritual ministry, which I also fear I do not sufficiently value.
Both your letters are distressingly general; no soul-trouble explained; no spiritual labor unfolded, no encouragement fairly stated; no difficulty shown, nor the way of escape that the Lord makes for his people; but a general history of religion, such as the professing church has no end of. God forbid that you should again be cordially joined to your old idols; nor can I believe that you will be let alone. If you belong to God, you will find, as you have found, that he will not be at a loss for means to bring you both to a pure language.
You say, "When I feel weak in myself, then I feel he is strong." I must say when I feel weak, I doubt his strength too, and am so weak as to fear I am quite given up, and that the Lord will never appear. I cannot make up so good a creed as you can. I perceive head-knowledge and heart-experience will often differ, because we dread everything in the furnace, and the face of Christ is hid; but bold presumption fears nothing, and knows everything, and believes everything, and has no doubt but God will be sure to help, and that whenever we call. May the Lord condescend to instruct you both, and keep you alive in the midst of all your threatened dangers!
Your unworthy servant in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 87
(To the Rev. W. Maddy) Bushey, 12 July 1835.
Dear Friend,
You were brought strongly upon my mind in reading the following words: "The servant of the Lord must not strive, but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, in meekness instructing those that oppose themselves" (2 Timothy 2:24, 25). I said, How often my friend has opposed himself, and what false reasoning he makes use of, to quench that little spark of fire, which I trust is yet in the temple of his heart, and will be found a fire that shall never go out, but is kindled to eternal life! If you could fully enter into that which the devil brings upon us while we listen to our carnal reason, you would tremble at the load of darkness and confusion he thus lays on. I have often been greatly surprised in my conversations with you, at the turns you have given to some of the simplest things in experience that a child of God is instructed in, saying, I have no real spiritual life, or, I do not read the Bible enough, or, I have too much to do in the world; therefore I cannot attain to what I want. If this or the other were better managed, you seem to think, then your prayers might be heard. True; this is a way of man's devising, but not the way of the Spirit. Mourning, self-despairing, trembling, fearing, crying, lamenting, all denote the state of a coming sinner, one that supposes himself to have neither life nor light, yet pines for the mercy of Christ. Such obtain help in time of need, and make it manifest that this is the true teaching of the Spirit of God. Such find (more or less) union with the church of God, and a receiving of God's Word by the mouth of his servants, and by these means are enabled, sooner or later, to recover themselves out of the snare of the fowler.
The apostle then speaks of many things that I trust will never be laid to your account, any more than as being the true character of the old man of sin; and adds, "Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." I am sure that herein is set forth the dangerous condition of a legal conscience, that puts a false coloring on God's way of saving sinners, while perfectly unacquainted with it, and unconscious of the fatal error. "There is a way that seems right to a man," but the end thereof shows the danger, for it is death, spiritual, temporal and eternal (Proverbs 14:12).
You are not sufficiently aware of the value of an enlightened ministry, and how, if neglected, it increases God's judgment upon us. "All day long I have stretched forth my hands unto a disobedient and gainsaying people," a people that do err in their heart, that cannot find their way to the city. Such is the character of God's nominal people, among whom are a few Joshuas and Calebs. O my dear Sir, what will become of us, if we are not among this number? Will reason save us in the time of extremity, death, and judgment? Oh, let us hasten our escape, for the windy storm of temptation will come upon us, and who can help us but the Lord Jesus Christ?
It is a miserable life, to have just conscience enough to feel death and destruction is in the way of the world, but not life and power enough in the soul to come forth of them all, and live sensibly on the infinite fullness that is in Jesus Christ. O how was that fullness made manifest to me this day, when the Lord came into my soul with these most tender words, "O my threshing, and the corn of my floor!" (Isaiah 21:10). A personal interest in Christ made it most sweet; for as we are partakers of his sufferings so also shall we be of the consolations. This holy anointing is what I wish you to be partaker of; for because of this, every yoke (even the yoke of legal striving) shall be broken. Here only can we say, "Our light affliction, which is but for a moment, works for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory." Here we lose sight of the things that the natural eyes delight in, and are enabled spiritually to behold the things that are invisible. In this way only I find sweet and safe sailing to our heavenly port. May you be enabled to receive and comprehend this way, for it is the King's highway of holiness, happiness, and eternal life.
Your most willing servant in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 88
(To Mr. Nunn) Bushey, 24 July 1835.
My dear Friend,
Yesterday a person belonging to this house read some of my letters, and told me that he thought I had had some teaching, but could not find out to what sect I belonged. He could see, he said, that I had a great deal of constitutional melancholy, which runs through the whole of them, and he wondered I did not take the promises more. I confessed that, by the grace of God, I adhered chiefly to Luther and Calvin, and many more such men whom the Lord had owned, and considered that the dissenters, as a body, were, for the most part, equally with the church people, a dead carcass, trusting in the written Word, without the powerful application of it by the Spirit to the wounded conscience. This I said to see what he would make of it, and he immediately replied, How limited in your views! Are there none in all these that are right? I replied, Out of these lumps of dead clay the Lord chooses his elect, and the rest he leaves to trust to promises unapplied. I cannot argue, I said, but I find the Lord is a God of judgment as well as of mercy; dead professors take such promises as seem to suit the flesh, and leave out many that strike hard at the old man within; for instance, the Lord promises to take vengeance of our inventions; this is to be forgotten; and while "peace and safety" is all that is looked for, alas! "sudden destruction comes". So we parted.
Early this morning I awoke full of fears, and very poorly. I started up, and began to ponder over my miserable condition; what a grievous sinner I was, and how surrounded with such sorrows as would be most fearful in my dying moments; and something said, Don't you think your poor friend Mr. Nunn has as many and as sore conflicts as you have, and more too? This consideration brought me to some acknowledgment, and I began to forget myself and to ponder over your lingering trial, and the need of the perpetual exercise of patience, and how hard this is when we are in the dark. I then thought on what I had written to Mr. R., and the same words came with inexpressible sweetness to my heart, as if spoken to you,
"Cheer up, you traveling souls,
On Jesus' aid rely!"This removed all my sorrow, and my eyes full of weeping admired the riches of his grace and mercy manifested to you and me. I then believed, with all my heart,
"He sees us when we see not him,
And always hears our cry."
At once the fear of death and destruction was removed, and a sensible drawing near, with holy familiarity and self-abasement, took place; and my prayers went up for you, and all afflicted people.
I found this better than the letter of a promise to be taken with a withered hand. I had rather have the hand of faith restored, and then, under the influence of that divine power, it will stretch forth and lay hold on eternal life. This is a substance; the other a thing of nothing. My poor friend here would rank himself as a limb of that dead carcass. "Such were some of you; but you are washed." "Who made you to differ? And what have you, that you did not receive?" So I found it in the night, and could not but adore the riches of his sovereign grace; for I never felt it so free before, nor myself less likely to have such a visit as I then found. And let me repeat what was so sweet in my cast-down situation, Cheer up, poor sinner, "on Jesus' aid rely." This was the precious part; there seemed in the words such a sweet invitation to come, and I found in him all that I wanted. I had no wishes or wants left unsatisfied, and this made me weep with many mixed feelings of shame at myself, and acknowledgments of his great condescension. Thus I find the standard of the Lord Jesus Christ is lifted up, when the enemy comes in with a flood of despair.
I felt the truth in a certain sense of my poor friend's remark, that I had a great deal of melancholy, only I call it unbelief at the sight of my awful corruptions; and I think if he could see spiritually what is in his heart, he would have more melancholy than he has now. But the whole-hearted want no Physician; those who are sick and have many fears want speedy remedies.
O may you and I, and the rest of our little body, with our pastor at the head of us, make it more and more manifest that the Lord has chosen us out of a dead, professing world, and through the Spirit bring forth fruit unto life eternal.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 89
(To Mrs. T.) Bushey, 2 August 1835.
Dear Friend,
I am truly sorry to hear of your being put into the furnace again, and also that our friend did not send me any particulars respecting your exercises under it. For my part, I am always sore broken at the sight of the rod, and very commonly think at the first that the Lord is about to bring me to final judgment. In such a case I find nothing so safe or so difficult as to acknowledge the justice and righteousness of God in thus dealing with me.
I was exceedingly struck this morning in reading Jeremiah 2., and with shame I could, in a measure, fall under the charge. "Thus says the Lord, I remember you, the kindness of your youth, the love of your espousals, when you went after me in the wilderness, in a land that was not sown." Then was Israel very tender, and the world and its fashions very small; but what does the Lord say now? "What iniquity have your fathers found in me, that they are gone far from me, and have walked after vanity, and are become vain?" .... "I brought you up" (out of the Egypt of the world) "into a plentiful country" (a land where the gospel is faithfully preached, and among a people that fear God); "but when you entered, you defiled my land" (with the spirit and fashion of this world). "Wherefore I will yet plead with you, says the Lord." This further pleading is, I conceive, the continued furnace-work that the Lord sees absolutely needful for us, that the spirit, maxims, and fashions of this world may die in us. Without this we should soon find that the former tenderness and tempered zeal would disappear, and we should "change our glory", or this work of God, for the truest nonsense that man can name, for dress, for straws, for anything that is not God; and thus insidiously slide from spiritual union with Jesus Christ, "the fountain of living waters", and make up the deficiency, if possible, with "broken cisterns that can hold no water".
It is on this account that you and I are so often in the furnace; and if we say we don't know why he thus afflicts us, we may depend upon it, he will continue the furnace until we do find it out, and an honest confession comes from the heart by the power of the Spirit, under a discovery of the greatness and number of our multiplied transgressions, notwithstanding some light, some intimations, some sweet and friendly hints, such as "This is the way, walk you in it;" all which have been shamefully slighted. "How often would I have gathered your children together, ... and you would not!" How have I set before you a way of escape in time of temptation, and yet the love of sin prevailed!
Thus, when the furnace has been heated seven times more than it was accustomed, I have been made in the end to acknowledge the truth of what the Lord says: "Have you not procured this unto yourself," in forsaking the Lord and taking up with toys? But it is our mercy that the Lord will not leave us until he has made us quite ashamed of ourselves. Then what a sweet prayer Psalm 51 becomes, and how glad we are of that thorough washing by the Spirit, which is there spoken of!
May the Lord graciously visit you in this affliction, and grant that the natural sottishness and want of understanding that abound in us all, may be discovered more and more to you, and removed by the Spirit of light and life entering abundantly into your heart. Wise enough we all are to do evil, but to do good we have no knowledge.
I am often cast down because of the way; my sin makes it thorny, and there seem but few Scriptures more suitable than the Lord's reproof: "O you of little faith, wherefore did you doubt?"
Sin, in any shape, bears no other fruit than unbelief. When the Lord withdraws, I find often that the sight of my sin remains, and its demerit; I leave you to guess my feelings, with an enlightened judgment in the terrible majesty and holiness of God, and Christ out of sight. The law works wrath, and stirs up enmity, and all former tokens are hidden, and God speaks terrible words in this thick cloud. But here, when all contention gives way, I am led to bow, to stoop, to confess, to admire and agree to all his judgments, and to say no way could be so just, so kind, so tender as this, to bring down this wretched heart of mine, big with opposition in all directions, to God's way of saving sinners. And now, Lord, I have no wish, no will, no way, but your! All this while weeping under a sense of his goodness, admiring the pains he takes that I should not be condemned with a wicked world in the great day.
The apostle protests, "I die daily," and that by crucifixion, a long, lingering and painful death; and this is, and must be, the way spiritually with us, if we ever know the rising in newness of life. We are always calculating upon some rest here in this world. If we have been ever so near to the grave, and a respite is given us, the first thing considered is generally some little accommodation for the flesh, some toy put into the hand to amuse us, and divert us from the spiritual life and tenderness gained in the furnace.
May the Lord make and keep us more wary! I fall daily here, and am ashamed.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 90
(To the Rev. W. Maddy) Bushey, 10 August 1835.
My dear Friend,
I have been under various exercises lately, and not the less so since our afflicted friend Mr. Nunn came down here. How can a poor creature like myself be profitable to one who is on the borders of eternity (as he appears to be), and has nothing uppermost but how to finish his course with joy? His trial is great, his darkness sometimes very distressing; but "the Lord knows them that are his", and will not suffer them to be tempted above that they are able to bear. If I might be allowed, with much humility and tenderness, to say it, I think I have seen for some time where the Lord does gently contend, and in much compassion says, "Come now, and let us reason together." Why so careful about many things? I have laid you by for purposes best known to myself; I have taken you from the busy scenes of this life, for what cause you shall know hereafter. "In your patience possess you your souls." "I am your salvation." Cannot you call to mind that almost every relapse, for more than a year, has been in consequence of over-exertion in something of this life? Your limited view puts a necessity where there is none, and an importance upon straws when compared with communion with me, which you know is a Heaven upon earth; so that when you are entertained with it, you acknowledge that all besides is vanity.
Our friend's journey down here was attended with great fatigue; he has had a sad night. In the course of the evening his wife left him with me for half an hour, and I thought during that time he was breathing his last. He took my hand and peacefully told me he thought he was going, but found no fear, hope was abounding; and in a little time he revived and breathed more freely; but I was sent for at half-past three in the morning, and found him very ill in body, and that he had been much exercised in soul. He broke out in many words, declaring the goodness of God to him and his family for many years, and that that goodness was greatly manifest in bringing him under a faithful ministry. He said the Lord had often told him that the reproofs he had often received from his pastor should never be a grief of heart to him in his dying hour, and so he now found it. Oh (he said), how sweet is the favor of God in Christ Jesus! It is too much for a poor, wretched, sottish sinner, thus overpowered with his favors. How great is his goodness, how inexpressibly sweet! He seemed overcome by the softness and brokenness of spirit which he now felt, and continued, Oh, what a heavenly thing! How sweet it is to my soul: "You are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God; when Christ who is our life shall appear, then shall we also appear with him in glory!" O my soul, crown him Lord of all, for he only is worthy! "Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall; but they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."
Many more such things he said, to the comfort of my soul; especially desiring to be affectionately remembered to his pastor, and all that love and fear God.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 91
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) Bushey, 19 August 1835.
My dear Friend,
Many things have combined to prevent my writing to you before this. I was sorry I should be from home when you were in London. Your difficulties are often presented before me, either at the beginning or at the end of prayer. May the Lord reveal himself to you more and more, and make you alive to the various and peculiar snares that will be laid for your feet as a young minister. I would caution you against the flatterer; it is said, "Many shall cleave to them with flatteries." This is very ensnaring and enchanting; it requires great spiritual courage to resist this. Perhaps many may make suit to you, and seek for a confederacy; and it is not every one that finds power at once to resist a snare here, though the Spirit says, "Say you not, A confederacy, to all them to whom this people shall say, A confederacy; neither fear you their fear, nor be afraid. Sanctify the Lord of hosts himself, and let him be your fear, and let him be your dread" (Isaiah 8:12, 13). There will spring up gospel ministers here and there, yet let me beseech you to be sober, and receive not hastily every "Lo here;" for there are many false Christs, as well as false ministers; and many shall be deceived. You may generally know them by their great confidence, unshaken trust, unchanging love; fearless and presumptuous. While you are hearing their tale, you will find yourself ready to sink with fear, and conclude you know nothing, and have lost your way. You will wonder at their attainments, while their words work nothing in you but despondency and wrath. False religion always leads from God, until at last you will find yourself compassed about with the fiery mountain, for God out of Christ is "a consuming fire".
I have had many changes since I wrote last, some refreshings from the presence of the Lord, and many castings down. It is a part of my happiness, that by the Spirit I discover his coming and going. I sensibly feel the light, power, and sweetness of his presence; his presence drives all evil beasts into their dens, and is "as the light of the morning when the sun rises"; "clear as the sun, and terrible as an army with banners" (2 Samuel 23:4; Song 6:10). I also perceive it worse than midnight when he withdraws. I know nothing so grievous to bear, as I am persuaded he never goes without cause; and when gone, I find nothing to supply the deficiency. O how I rue this unhappy part of my experience! It is putting on sackcloth with a witness; and my unbelieving heart cannot help poring over the sore that has made him depart, instead of speeding my way to the Good Physician, who can "heal our wounds with tenderness and skill". My sluggish, mulish spirit here always fills me with shame, and sends me further and further from the central point, until my case becomes desperate; and then, when the sack's mouth is opened, and the cup is found, I have nothing to say but mourning and lamentation. But blessed be God, that in this way you and I have, times without number, with the publican, found our way to Christ. It is this way we must all come while here on earth, and him that comes in this way, the Lord will by no means cast out.
Our afflicted friend Mr. Nunn is with me here; he has appeared once or twice to be near his end, but the Lord has had mercy on me, and has greatly revived him. The Lord graciously comforted him in his trouble, until his joy became almost too much for his weak frame; thus he has found that as his tribulation abounded, so did also his consolation. In this friend we see much of the goodness of God; though now for nearly four years the Lord has crossed all his natural wishes and delights, yet he has most graciously made up the deficiency by giving himself: "I am your salvation."
I would press you exceedingly to learn, by prayer and earnest supplication, "to endure hardness, as a good soldier". "It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth." O do not turn back in the day of battle! It is said of many, "You did run well; who did hinder?" May the Lord strengthen you by the Spirit's might in the inner man, and make you a full partaker of the fruits; which will be so sweet and so enlightening that out of the abundance of your heart your mouth will set before sinners that true and living way which you have found both safe and sure.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 92
(To M. O.) Bushey, 23 August 1835.
Dear Friend,
I was much comforted to hear that the Lord had dealt so tenderly with you, in this your time of extremity. Sin will always be a source of fear and dismay, and as we approach the border of eternity and perceive our naked souls at the bar of God, no wonder that we should feel that it is of his mercy we are not consumed. Nothing short of a powerful persuasion of the love of God in Christ Jesus will enable us at all to "sing of mercy and judgment". It is when we sink into the depths of misery and self-despair, that the Lord condescends to give us some comprehension with all other saints, of "the breadth and length and depth and height" of the unsearchable love of God. I have often thought, with you, that if it had not been so boundless, I should never have been brought from the dark corners of the earth. I know with you what it is to fear lest his mercies should be "clean gone forever", and he would be favorable no more; but this was my infirmity, (Psalm 77) for he has returned with double kindness, and told me what I am sure he will in mercy tell you: "I will never leave you nor forsake you". "Though you pass through the waters, I will be with you." You and I must not give up such mercies to the lies of the devil, nor believe every word he may inject. Let not man nor devil take your crown.
You are indeed now at the strait gate, and few there be that press through; but your fears, when sanctified by the Spirit of God, will add energy to your prayers, so that you will take no denial. He always fills the hungry with good things, yes, every bitter reproof, every anxious fear, will be sweet, while it increases the cry, "Lord, save, or I perish." I hope you will be able to acknowledge more and more the great goodness and kindness of the Lord to you in this distressing hour; think not anything too hard for the Lord to do for you, nor too good to bestow upon a poor trembling sinner. I am truly glad that you manifest the same conflicts and conquests that I have found in all the children of God that I have known; nor must you now consider it strange concerning the fiery trial, as though you alone were in it; but give the Lord no rest night or day, and if possible touch the hem of his garment, and you shall find virtue and efficacy, for "love is strong as death".
In your little note I find the whole of my conflicts and difficulties set forth, and I am encouraged by it that God is no respecter of persons, but whoever calls upon the name of the Lord Jesus Christ shall be saved. O how true and sweet is this! and when (as it was with Paul) all hopes of being saved have been taken away, some broken pieces have brought me safe to land; that is, two or three words of a verse, or some sweet look of approbation have so won my best affections, that I am willing to be (as you say) anything or nothing. In this valley of humiliation I pray this letter may find you; and when hope encourages you, remember me.
Your unworthy servant in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 93
(To M. O.) Bushey, 15 September 1835.
Dear Friend,
You are now brought to such a condition as to make full proof of the power and efficacy of God's grace. What would you do now if forsaken of him? Instead of which, you often find, "Love is strong as death"; and it is no small comfort to consider that (let your case be what it may) the Lord Jesus Christ endured more for you, and has in all sad places been before you; so that he is perfectly acquainted with all your fears, pities all your dismay and trembling, and knows how to support in the time of extremity.
I have often wondered at one thing, that is, no matter how ill, or how near the borders of eternity a man may be, there is nothing in these alarming circumstances to create spiritual life, but the soul in such a case feels spiritual death, and a backsliding heart. How this convinces me of my base original, and of my utter inability to mend it, and that nothing but the eternal Spirit can quicken or revive our drooping spirits, or bring us out of this languishing and dronish state. A sick bed, long continued, is often attended with this, and we have need of perpetual prayer to the Lord to revive his work upon our hearts. Hence we often find rebukes, temptations, desertion, and darkness, that we may be taught our dependence on him; and we no sooner feel our hopeless condition, than the Lord puts underneath his everlasting arms. "The poor hears not rebuke" (Proverbs 13:8). I am sure you know the truth of all this, and I believe you will find in this your weak condition that the power of God will be so manifest as to enable you to say in his strength, "O death, where is your sting? O grave, where is your victory? Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."
My prayer has been many times, and I trust will still be, that this may be your happy lot.
Yours in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 94
(To M. G.) Bushey, 17 September 1835.
Dear Friend,
Your letter to your brother is now before me, and I am astonished and pleased with its contents, especially the three different scriptures which you name, as having been spoken by the Lord upon your heart, and the manner of their repetition; which no doubt was for the express purpose of claiming your attention. I cannot understand how such language can be spoken to anyone towards whom the purpose of salvation is not intended; it must be the voice of a friend, not of an enemy, and therefore eternal life must be the issue.
Having this persuasion, I must tell you that the Lord has dealt with me in the same manner at different periods of my life; the last time about three years ago. I was awakened out of sleep with these words: "Son of man, what see you?" I saw a furnace smoking, such as metal is melted in, and replied, I see a smoking fiery furnace. It was repeated twice, and the vision withdrew, leaving me very cast down, in a horror of great darkness, believing in my conscience I was about to enter into deep affliction, which did indeed prove true beyond what I had ever known before. I seemed for some time to despair of all help, and thought these words were applied to me: "I will deliver you no more." I went about solitary, without any prospect of change, and, like Hezekiah, thought, "I shall go softly all my days, in the bitterness of my soul." But one day reading in Psalm 126, "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy; he who goes forth and weeps, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless" (this word seemed ten times as big as the rest) "shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him"; this set my soul on high, and I could bless the Lord for the dispensation, which humbled me in the dust, and makes me to this day keenly to feel and "to remember the wormwood and the gall; my soul has them still in remembrance, and is humbled within me." I therefore can enter into your case, and tell you to be very watchful, for, as sure as you are born, the Lord will fulfill the words he has spoken to you. It appears he has already begun, but has not told you all, lest you should be disheartened and faint by the way; for so your first text declares, "I have yet many things to say unto you, but you cannot bear them now" (John 16:12).
Then the second, "Who may abide the day of his coming, and who shall stand when he appears?" (Malachi 3:2) is a little sharper and closer; your abiding seems threatened, but God's Word is on your side, and therefore it is with you as Hart says in his hymn about Noah,
"To make the preservation sure,
Jehovah shut him in."You will have the waves of temptation and the winds of error, and all sorts of assailants, but the Lord has cautioned you to make use of him at all times. Keep to this very thing, even at the point of despair, still crying against every opposition within and without. All this is "like a refiner's fire, and like fullers' soap"; the qualities of which, spiritually, I am in a measure acquainted with, and know that no flesh living can abide them; but "with God, all things are possible".
The last text, "Can your heart endure, or can your hands be strong, in the days that I shall deal with you?" (Ezekiel 22:14) denotes the closest and hottest work of all, and calls for much humiliation, watchfulness, and prayer, with much confession, earnestly entreating the Lord for his name's sake to keep your heart tender, and not suffer you in anything to choose for yourself. "All things are possible with God." Beg grace to keep this firm in your heart. I was once in a long trouble (perhaps seven years ago), and labored long and seemed to gain but little help; but being in an agony, I cried sorely to the Lord to have compassion, and shall never forget the manner in which he spoke these words: I am touched with the feeling of your infirmities, and have been tempted in all points as you are. O how sweetly did this break my heart! I found myself so submissive, patient, and quiet, that I could have endured anything under this influence, knowing that he had endured much more for me. But a few days afterwards I again lost sight of his sweet presence, and gathered all my trouble together, and knew not how to bear up under it, until he kindly came again and told me that I should be more than conqueror through him that loved me. These are things that reconcile us to the furnace, and lead us to acknowledge the necessity of it; for by his divine management it furthers the work, and brings glory to God; it abases the sinner, and keeps him in a low place, but exalts the Savior.
I cannot but remark the many heavy charges laid in the chapter wherein your last scripture is found; and I say, "Can your heart endure?" No; it cannot, unless the mighty power of God sustain you. And I believe he will sustain you, and you shall know that he is the Lord. All these terrible things are to show you that God hates a light professor, and that he is determined to make you a vessel unto honor. O take the counsel of one of old, "Be sober, be vigilant; for your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking whom he may devour." I believe he may not devour you, but the trial will make manifest. My prayer will be for you, as of one that has suffered like things, that you may prove "a vessel unto honor, meet for the Master's use". The day of trifling is past, and it will now be seen of what metal you are.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 95
(To one who said there was no hope) London, 7 October 1835.
Dear Friend,
I know of nothing so disheartening, though very common, as for young professors to take the seat of judgment and finally decide what the Lord means to do; and then to hold their notions so fast as to think it must be as they judge, and can be no otherwise. They are not aware that this snare is a masterpiece of Hell, and a deathblow to spiritual life; for they generally add, It is no use seeking God; I am so sinful that he cannot have mercy. Now, if natural things were so treated, a man of natural common sense would soon discover the fallacy. I cannot but believe that the Lord allows all this for the humbling of our pride, and the bringing down of our native strength, which until this trial comes on, we think is wonderfully great. We are suffered sometimes to labor here for long, to be more deeply convinced of our totally lost condition.
"He shall by means like these
Your stubborn temper break;
Soften your heart by due degrees,
And make your spirit meek."
You are not yet able to understand the deep necessity of the chastening hand of God. I wish I could prevail on you to make your present despair a plea, and not hastily conclude that God's purposes towards you are only final destruction; one says, truly and wisely, that it is not the office of the Holy Spirit to bear witness to this. Therefore let me entreat you in prayer to dispute the point, and to refuse to give up crying for mercy while the Lord gives you breath. You can but despair and sink into ruin, if you pray in vain; but where will you find one that was ever finally lost, who looked to Jesus Christ for help? He was sent unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel.
Luther remarks that though David says, "The sorrows of death compassed me, and the floods of ungodly men made me afraid; the sorrows of Hell compassed me, and the snares of death prevented me," and though these were so overwhelming as to leave no room for hope or help, for he was completely surrounded and overpowered by them, yet in his distress "he called upon the Lord, and cried unto his God;" and his cry entered into the ears of the Lord (Psalm 18:4-6).
These things are left on record as an especial check to our rebellion, and ought to stop our mouths from daring to decide what God in his sovereignty has in all ages chosen to keep a hidden mystery. I cannot but yet hope that your trouble is what is called "Jacob's trouble", of which it is said, "Alas, for that day is great, so that none is like it: it is even the time of Jacob's trouble; but he shall be saved out of it" (Jeremiah 30:7).
John Bunyan was two whole years laboring in this despair, which the Lord suffered him to know in order that he might have a clear conception of the cases of many poor lost sinners to whom he would have to preach, and set forth Jesus Christ as the only source of help and redress against all the objections that can be raised.
I myself have been long at the point of despair, not having in my apprehension the least shadow of a hope that the Lord could have any purpose of mercy towards me. I could neither eat nor sleep, thinking it could be no use to mind anything, seeing I was doomed to destruction. I lay in this state long without any interval of hope, but about six o'clock one evening in my desperation I cried to the Lord with much agony of spirit, that if there could be mercy shown, he would show it to me; and presently these words were whispered in my heart, "You shall return in the power of the Spirit." I put it away, because I thought it was only spoken of Jesus Christ; but it came a second time, and was repeated seven times, before I could receive the power of it upon my heart. I had so many objections, and was so fearful that it was impossible any mercy could be shown to me. But the power became so great as to remove all objections, and fill my soul with joy and peace in believing. The effect was the most sensible self-abasement, while I enjoyed such sweet holy familiarity and access as I had never known before. How sweetly did the Bible speak to me! That which was lately full of vengeance and judgment was now all mercy.
One day a cloud came over me which caused such heaviness that I knew not how to bear the loss of the sweet things I have written above. I made many lamentations and confessions, and earnestly begged of the Lord to return; and these words were spoken upon my heart with great sweetness and power, "What woman, having ten pieces of silver, if she lose one of them, does not light a candle and sweep the house, and seek diligently, until she find it?" (Luke 15:8). The word diligently was greatly impressed on my mind, and I cried, Lord give me this spiritual diligence; and I found my spirit would not rest from crying, and the Lord again restored to me the light of his countenance, and I once more went on my way rejoicing. In that light I had often a sweet discovery of God's especial favor towards me, telling me the battle was not mine but his, and that he would never leave me nor forsake me.
This sweet way of living continued some time, but a foolish backsliding heart again insidiously drew me aside into the spirit of the world, and again I required heavy strokes. Under the apprehensions of death I felt much despair, sometimes to such an extent as to alarm my friends, until they sank with me and thought my case hopeless; but here also the Lord did not judge as man judges. When he had humbled my pride, and made me effectually feel my lost condition, he showed me that "the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house, and it fell not, for it was founded upon a rock." The discovery came with such power as to counterbalance all my despair, and the Lord was pleased to turn my captivity, and spoke these words to me, which were unspeakably sweet in the unfolding of them, "You shall again go forth in the dances of them that make merry" (Jeremiah 31:4). This was spiritual, and was fulfilled by the joy unspeakable that he gave me, restoring me to health both of body and soul. This conflict lasted four years at least; but his faithfulness never fails.
After this also I gradually and foolishly went back again to a distance from the Lord. In this melancholy and fearful trial my feelings were such that even the remembrance of them makes me shudder; but I must say, O Lord, I can by your grace acknowledge that you are clear when you judge. I knew not at the time what the Lord would do with me. His judgments are a great deep. My heart had gone astray from him, and I read these words, "You have forsaken me and served other gods; wherefore I will deliver you no more. Go and cry unto the gods you have chosen" (Judges 10:13, 14). My spirits sank and I seemed to have no hope, nor to find any way of escape. The terrors of the night almost overcame me, and I fully concluded I should go in the bitterness of my soul all my days. None seemed to care for my soul, and none could help me. Yet here also the Lord appeared for me, and these words came with such power and divine authority as to fill my soul with the greatest joy: "He that goes forth and weeps, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him."
All these things I desire to set before you, at the same time knowing that the natural mind of man is more obstinate than a mule, and more violent in opposition to God than can be set forth. This will join you in affinity to Satan, to set the shoulder against all that God has left on record in his Word, and against all the sweet deliverances he has wrought for his people, under the most distressing despair. O do pray, and let not a rebellious spirit tempt you to refrain, "lest your bands be made strong". Think of Esther's memorable words, and try them, "If I perish, I perish." Joel asks, "Who knows if the Lord will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him?" You are not yet where Jonah was; there seemed no hope for him; yet he cried and found deliverance. Do not limit the Holy One of Israel. May he prove himself better to you than all your fears! and pray do never again say anything more about your knowing that God's judgments were denounced against you, which you can never prove.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 96
(To C. G.) London, 11 October 1835.
Dear Friend,
I cannot help remarking how slowly and steadily the work of God (in general) goes on, in opposition to that haste which is seen in the flesh. Our time is always ready, and we think we discover many things, especially when the natural passions are excited upon spiritual objects. We believe all things, we hope all things, and feel such softness upon our spirits, that we think our loving hearts can never rise up against God, let him do what he will. We think we see the very way he means to lead us, and are quite armed, as we suppose, for the battle; that the Lord has so taken us out of the world, that neither the laugh, nor the scorn, nor the kindness which is offered, shall move us from the zeal we feel for the Lord of Hosts.
But now comes the Refiner, and by due degrees makes manifest that all this is not pure gold; and the discovery sinks us amain. Our zeal abates; our spiritual strength withers; and we begin to perceive we are not so near heaven's gate as we supposed, but that the gates of Hell have compassed us about; and we find ourselves in a path very different from that which we in our wisdom had chalked out. The Refiner still pursues his work, until there seems almost nothing left: "as the shepherd takes out of the mouth of the lion two legs, or a piece of an ear" (Amos 3:12); and we sink into desperate apprehensions of the danger to which sin has reduced us, so as to become a prey to every evil beast.
But the Lord will both search his sheep and seek them out, in this tremendous cloudy and dark day, and will "feed them upon the mountains of Israel, by the rivers", signifying both the waters of life and the waters of affliction. These shall be good feeding pastures, though thus mingled with gall; for by sanctified afflictions our proud hearts are brought low. Do not he disheartened; "I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away" (by temptation), "and will bind up that which was broken" (in judgment), "and will strengthen that which was sick" (spiritually). Only take good heed that you do not tread down these good pastures, nor foul the waters with your feet (Ezekiel 34:5-19).
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 97
(To Mr. W. Abbott of Mayfield, Sussex) London, 21 October 1835.
Dear Friend in the Lord and in the path of tribulation,
How unsearchable are the ways of the Lord! Job says, he "does great things past finding out, and wonders without number. Behold, he takes away, who can hinder him? who will say unto him, What do you?" You have long lain under these mysterious dispensations. If it should please the Lord to sanctify them, you will have to bless God to all eternity for all the means he has made use of to humble you to the uttermost, and under these humbling circumstances to make all his goodness pass before you; and you may be asked (as he asked the disciples of old), "When I sent you without purse, or scrip, or shoes, lacked you anything?" and, like them, reply, Nothing, Lord. "No good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly." I have found the rod, the furnace, affliction, disappointment, and crosses of all sorts have been given to me as good things; and, moreover, I have been brought, in a measure, to see the beauty and safety of them, and the wisdom of God in them.
I have longed to make this world my rest, and have sought no small honor in it (I mean that honor which comes from men), and to my shame be it spoken, through spiritual pride and vain conceit I would have been something in the church, as well as in the world; but it has pleased God, in great mercy, to put a worm to the root of this gourd, which has made it to wither, under no small terrors and apprehensions of final separation from him. Under this fire much has been burnt up, and I found nothing left but an ear to learn discipline, and Peter's cry, "Lord, save or I perish." But the Lord being moved with compassion, set my feet upon the rock, and there showed me where my hope and strength must be. He also showed me the destructive power of the cankerworm and palmerworm, and all that great army (spoken of in Joel) that would destroy us root and branch if left under their influence.
While I write, my heart melts with contrition and shame at all the provocations with which I have provoked the Lord ever since I have known him, and especially at his kind condescension in not leaving me under the power and influence of these evils; and that he made me, contrary to my flesh, to cut off right hands, and to pluck out right eyes; and showed me eventually what a poor pitiful creature I was, as is described in Ezekiel, "polluted in your blood", and neither washed nor suppled.
I once read all these things as if they meant nothing; but the Lord has shown me that they are what all, more or less, shall know by experience. Shall the apostle say, "He has delivered us from so great a death," and this mean little or nothing? It is not until we have been much immersed in the furnace of affliction that we are aware, in any measure, of the greatness of the salvation, or the extent of that death (in every branch of it) in which we are involved.
O my dear friend, long inured to this furnace, however desolate your case may appear in the eyes of the world, the Lord can make this desolate place to blossom as the rose; yes, he can make it fragrant to himself and fruitful, and cause you even here to see the glory of the Lord, and the excellent wisdom of our God. I am well aware you often feel, with me, much casting down, and are ready to say, "Can he prepare a table in the wilderness?" The entrance of such a thought has often made me to blush before him, and such words as these have stopped my rebellion: "He who spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?" I sometimes think, Surely if he gives us himself, there can be nothing so great and valuable; why should we fear he will forget us in any of these things, which are so inconsiderable compared with himself? Then I say, "Fear not, behold your God will come with vengeance, even God with a recompense; he will come and save you." He will open blind eyes and deaf ears, the dumb shall sing, the lame shall leap, for in this wilderness heart of ours he will and does open streams, and the rivers break out (Isaiah 35:1-7); so that the whole glory of this great salvation shall be ascribed to Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and not unto us.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 98
(To Mr. T. O.) London, 30 October 1835.
My dear Friend in the common path of tribulation,
My heart was much broken when I heard the few words you spoke; and when you read that part of the Word of God, it plainly showed me where you were. The judgments of God are a great deep. "He is the Rock, his work is perfect, for all his ways are judgment; a God of truth and without iniquity; just and right is he." Though there be some measure of credit given to this, yet we are found in great haste, crying, "Bring my soul out of prison," long before we have learned the lessons God has designed we should learn; and especially to acknowledge from heartfelt experience that the Lord is righteous altogether when he talks with us of judgment. Then it is that he tries our reins, and shows us what our delights are; and in this severe scrutiny (which is none other than communion with God), many inventions of our own are discovered, which we never before suspected, and many promised delights; as it was with Solomon when he got him "men singers and women singers, and the delights of the sons of men, and that of all sorts", nor could he say all this was vanity, until the candle of the Lord shone in the innermost parts of his belly; then he cried "Vanity of vanities, all is vanity" (Deuteronomy 32:4; Jeremiah 12:1-3; Ecclesiastes 1:and 2).
This is laying "judgment to the line, and righteousness to the plummet", the sight of which proves our hearts so crooked that our souls are filled with dismay, and the terrors of death get hold upon us, make us "go softly", like Hezekiah; and it is God's design that they should have this effect. That strange scripture which we all in turn must understand, will no doubt be fulfilled in you: "By terrible things in righteousness will you answer us, O God of our salvation!" (Psalm 65:5). But as the destruction comes first, our fears run high lest it should be final; and this also is God's design, that it may break our rampant spirit, and show us feelingly what the sentence of death is, that hangs over us. O how we bow and stoop, beg and cry, if so be there may be hope; we sit solitary, and all created things are hung in sackcloth; we believe there is but a step between us and death, temporal, spiritual, and eternal. O what a struggle have I found here! What terrors in the night! Fearfulness and trembling have got hold upon me, and I have been ready to conclude that the Lord had forgotten to be gracious, and that he would be favorable no more.
This, my dear friend, I found to be communion with God. My ears were by these judgments opened to discipline, and many things confessed and forsaken which would have been quite overlooked, if I had not thus been brought to his bar. Do not you find, as I have found, more tenderness in our life and walk under this discipline, than ever before? "Behold this selfsame thing, that you sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yes, what clearing of yourselves, yes, what indignation" (spiritual indignation against your sins), "yes, what fear, yes, what vehement desire, yes, what zeal, yes, what revenge!" (2 Corinthians 7:11).
This was the cause why I felt such true sympathy for you, being persuaded that the Lord has thoughts of good, and not of evil towards you, to give you an expected end. May the Lord give you a fervent desire to grow in grace and in the knowledge of him. Though it be through much tribulation I know the issue will be "a wealthy place", better than the wealth of this world. When Jacob was in your case, he cried, "How dreadful is this place!" He was threatened by his brother, and turned out into the wide world; and not knowing what would become of him, in weariness he lay down to sleep, making a stone his pillow; but though so dreadful, he presently found: "This is none other than the house of God; this is the gate of Heaven."
O may the Lord be pleased to grant you grace so to profit by the present dispensation, that however dreadful it may be in your apprehension, it may yet prove, eventually, none other than the house of God and gate of Heaven to you!
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 99
(To Mrs. Benson) London, November 1835.
Madam,
How universal is the profession of religion, and how general and frivolous is that universal profession! It appears chiefly to consist of I think so and so, My sentiments are these, and I don't agree in this or that, without the least regard to such words as those of Psalm 66: "How terrible are you in your works" (your work of conversion); "through the greatness of your power shall your enemies submit themselves unto you."
The Lord's eyes behold the general hypocrisy that rules in men's hearts. Though we make many inquiries after religion, yet when the only true and right way is set before us, it is often manifest that in our pride and rebellion we exalt ourselves against it. But if spiritual life is in us, our feet are not removed by the discipline he brings us into, by which he proves and tries us, as silver is tried; and then we do not cry out, I believe the Methodists are right, the Baptists are right, or, the Evangelical clergy are right; but we stand deeply convicted that we are wrong, and here we cry, "God be merciful to me a sinner." The Lord brings us into the gospel net, and lays "affliction upon our loins" and thus weakens our strength by the way, so that all sorts of vain professors "ride over our heads"; and we are made to take the lowest place, being defiled with ignorance and sin, so that our very clothes abhor us. The sentence of death is in our consciences, and destruction round about us. This is passing (in some measure) through the fire of God's law, and through the waters of affliction, by which means the soul is humbled to come in God's way of saving sinners; and in the end we are made acquainted with the "wealthy place". This sort of experience will open our mouths to sing the high praises of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then, and then alone shall we cry, "Come and hear, all you that fear God" (none else), "and I will declare what he has done for my soul." This truth has power, efficacy, and light in it, by which we shall see our way, and make it manifest that we are his sheep by turning from all false ways, and hearing his voice and following it.
Perhaps you will say, O that I knew how to get at these things! Surely this verse in Hart's hymns is beyond a doubt true,
"Prayer is appointed to convey
The blessings God designs to give;
Long as they live should Christians pray,
For only while they pray, they live."And I would further add (from the same Psalm 66), "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me."
I believe I have set before you the way the Lord has dealt with me, and most of the people I know here; and though it may appear hard, yet the hardships are well worth enduring for the wealthy place that follows, which all that seek in God's way are sure to find. Salvation is a great thing, and we are saved "so as by fire". Much tribulation, much affliction, and joy in the Holy Spirit; and such as talk of an easy way, and being drawn by love, and tell you that all are not called to go through the same troubles, such, I say may be suspected, that as yet they have known but little. But if by the grace of God we are enabled to leave all this, and say,
"How harsh so'er the way,
Dear Savior still lead on,"we shall manifest the work to be of God, and that it will endure to eternal life. That this may he your happy lot is the prayer of
Your unworthy servant in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 100
(To M. C. B.) London, 12 December 1835.
Dear Madam,
I am often greatly cast down, and think that every one is more transparent and honest than I am. I see their spiritual beauty and order, while I am judging myself not half so tender, nor so often making manifest my prevalency with the Lord. I was deeply lamenting this on Saturday evening, and the Lord kindly melted my heart with a sweet sense of his pity and care. I do not attain to what you may call great things; and yet they are great, because in them is felt a hope full of immortality; which in its measure causes me to die to this world, and the vain prospects and promises of it.
Every part of the Word of God sets forth trouble, affliction, tribulation, but always points to the "wealthy place" beyond. I was sweetly entertained a little time ago with these words, "Command the children of Israel that they bring unto you pure oil olive beaten for the light, to cause the lamps to burn continually" (Leviticus 24:2). Here I saw the anointing of the Holy Spirit accompanying the affliction; without both of these, the lamp of our profession will never burn brightly, nor will the "peaceable fruits of righteousness" be found.
I wish, with you, to be more meek, and to fulfill the duties of my station better; but as spiritual light increases, I am persuaded we shall find ourselves worse and worse to the end. This is to teach us to prize the more highly the great salvation, and to be under the desperate necessity of coming continually to Christ. Nothing else but the discovery of our shortcomings in all things will have this effect. There is and can be no way of subduing our iniquities but by the Lord's casting them "into the depths of the sea"; or in other words, by the precious blood of Christ cleansing us. This brings in such love as fulfills every law.
I would caution you, myself, and all that fear God, against a light, trifling, frivolous spirit. It is the death of all spiritual life. There can be no fellowship with the Lord Jesus Christ with such a spirit; the furnace and the rod are prepared for it. I was once bemoaning my want of discretion before the Lord with much feeling, and this came with very great power to my conscience, Never fear but you will have trouble enough to keep that down. And so I have found it. We do not learn every lesson in one day. "Line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little" (Isaiah 28:10).
I tremble for your pious friend; and if you dare tell her so, you may. I fear what she calls a cautious spirit is insensibility. It is not likely but that God is true, whatever man or woman may say. He asks the question, "Can a man take fire into his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?" (Proverbs 6:27). I like your disquietude better. The different places you quote, chiefly from the Proverbs, are, I believe, words applied with great power to your conscience; such words have been many times applied to me as warnings and cautions, "whereunto you do well that you take heed, as unto a light shining in a dark place", none darker than my soul has been.
Your unworthy though faithful friend in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 101
(To M. C. B.) London, 28 December 1835.
Dear Madam,
You say I have not told you what I think of your spiritual condition. I thought the whole tenor of my letter conveyed my feelings upon that subject. I cannot understand how people, in a vain and empty profession, can have such reproofs as those you allude to from the book of Proverbs. The dead cannot hear such things. But you would not be so continually reproved upon the same point, if there were not plenty of cause; and the cause is, your walk in that respect is not consistent with the fear of God, but is quite consistent with the spirit of the world. You have borne testimony before your family that this Spirit of life has entered your heart, and they evidently perceive that you feel death written upon all created things. Hence, I judge further, that as these reproofs are the way of life, life will show itself in growth, not in being always found in the same place. The sore back dreads the rod. True teaching will appear in an increase of tenderness, and it will grow to be a very evil and bitter thing to be found abiding in the place against which the Lord is always testifying his displeasure.
What made you feel those words: "the death of all spiritual life" in my last? Was it not both the possession of that life, and the sense of the want of it? This proved is the new birth. "The dead know not anything." Spiritual life is a new covenant blessing, and is manifest in receiving the reproofs of instruction,
"It lives and labors under load,
Though damped, it never dies."It especially will not let "that which is lame be turned out of the way" (Hebrews 12:13). What do you mean by this? You will say, I mean the reproofs, which you have hinted at in every letter, for the same things. This is what I call lame in you, and my advice is, Turn not this sad evil out of the way, but let the spiritual life be found laboring under this load in confession and prayer, and do not give it up until it be healed. If this be done, this also manifests the new birth. Old things are not held fast, but denied and put off; and the Spirit of life entering makes a new creation. "Old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." How evident this is in the shame and confusion of face we find when sin and vanity seem to bear the sway. O what fear and torment enter our souls, what darkness and perplexity! We may enter our rooms, and sit as long as we like there; but all we can think is, What fools we are! How strange it is, that while we are thus judging ourselves, the Lord most kindly comes in with some little hope or help that brings us up out of this "pit wherein is no water", and advances us one step further to believe that he has a favor towards us!
Seek not to rest in the testimony of man; you know in your heart what you are after, and you shall not be long seeking the Lord before you shall have some token from him of your spiritual integrity. If these heavenly and spiritual treasures were to be lightly come by, they would be lightly esteemed. Much independence and rubbish of all sorts must be cleared away, before the foundation of this spiritual house can be safely laid. "Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride, he fall into the condemnation of the devil" (1 Timothy 3:6). Ploughing, digging, and harrowing, the chisel and mallet, and all the things by which the Lord sets forth the foundation-work, are very painful and humiliating. "Can your heart endure?" If the Lord is your refuge when the rains descend, and the floods come, and the winds blow, you will be sure to stand, because you are founded upon the Rock. That this may be your happy case, is the sincere prayer of
Your unworthy servant in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 102
(To Mr. Nunn) London, 10 January 1836.
Dear Friend,
How deep and mysterious are the ways by which the Lord makes these earthen vessels meet for the Master's use It is said, "Though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day;" but you and I know, in some measure by sad experience, how slowly this old man perishes, as well as the slow progress of the new plan, in the daily renewing. How many days pass that have not this renewing in them, to my shame be it spoken! When I read such things I am quite abashed, and begin to ponder whether I rightly know anything.
I believe your faith has been manifested to be true, by its standing the fiery trial, and will, in due time, "be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ". The words of the apostle (1 Peter 1) here impress my mind, that if I attain to this conquest in Christ Jesus, I must, as an obedient child, no longer fashion myself according to my former lusts, but as he which has called me, by this holy calling, and has manifested his love to me, is holy, so must I be "holy in all manner of conversation". This again cuts me down clean to the root, nor can I tell how to abide this scrutiny. "O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me?" Will Christ appear for me? I do, in some measure, feel it encouraging, that the apostle shows there is hope for those who "pass the time of their sojourning here in fear"—not a hope that this continual labyrinth of fear can be removed by our legal righteousness, or that any vain attempts of ours can ever deliver us from the wretched bondage that a vain conversation brings us into—but a hope in "the precious blood of Christ, as of a Lamb without blemish and without spot". "All flesh," and fleshly means of attaining spiritual ends, "is as grass," and "all the glory of man," the glorious outside of vain pretensions, "is as the flower of grass." These we see, and clearly understand by the Spirit's teaching, wither and fade away when most wanted. But that which you have lately passed through will endure, because the Word of the Lord has spoken it; and I desire to be a partaker of the same hope.
The apostle adds (chapter 2), as a further test of the genuineness of the work (if we have indeed been made partakers of this heavenly treasure), "Laying aside all malice, and all deceit, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings, as new-born babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that you may grow thereby", if you have indeed already proved and "tasted that the Lord is gracious". Here, again, I feel my fears arise; everything I read is so high, so holy, so heavenly, I seem to know nothing yet as I ought to know; but in this my ignorance, there is an inconceivable desire to be coming to Christ, the living stone. Though disallowed of men in general, Christ is my soul's desire. But when the apostle says, "You also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house," I can see that you are in this case, and have been well instructed of late in this heavenly are of building, but I, alas, like Nehemiah's men upon the wall, am driven away; the enemy often comes and defeats me, and that which I supposed I had built up, seems presently pulled down again. Your spiritual sacrifices, I see, are acceptable to God, by Jesus Christ; but, alas, I perceive that the chief corner stone is hidden by much rubbish, by reason of which, through unbelief, the wall remains broken down.
"Unto you that believe he is precious." How sweetly do I see in these words what the Lord has done for you! "A chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people;" (but O what a sweet constraining power is now laid upon you!) "that you should show forth the praises of him who has called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." Abstain from everything that wars against this life of God in the soul, and let your conversation be honest in the world, as well as in the church. Here again l fall, and am ashamed, when this plummet is put to my conscience, to see how crooked and out of the way my soul appears; how infinitely short. O my dear friend, pray for me, for I read that our good works are to be seen by others, that they may "glorify God in the day of visitation".
When it has pleased the Lord that we obtain what the Scripture calls "a good degree", there seems this necessity put upon us, that our weapons become mighty to the pulling down of those strongholds that Satan has formerly kept and maintained in our souls. All high things that exalt us, and not Christ; all wrong spirits that exalt folly, not Christ; that exalt self-pleadings, self-power, self-vindication against all that is reasonable, are parts of those strongholds which must be pulled down, that Christ may be exalted in word, in spirit, in conversation, in all things. Here again I fall. You in these afflictions have found this self-debasing place. I feel the necessity (as an example) of keeping there. I see the beauty and desirableness of these things, but am far from them. Opposition on all hands disheartens, and, like Mephibosheth, I am lame of both feet.
May the Lord help you, and put it in your heart to pray for me.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 103
(To Mrs. Tims) London, February 1836.
Dear Madam,
I have often wondered at the length of time during which some have waited at the pool of Bethesda to be healed, having the mortification of seeing others outstrip them, and get their healing, and go their way. There are many mysteries in the Word of God that flesh and blood will never be able to fathom. You once were lame and sick, and under a false ministry got your healing and went your way. This afforded satisfaction, and it worked as that sort of healing always works; for when providence throws such in the way of hearing the truth, there is found in them a most determined hatred and resistance against it; and, like that great man Naaman, they are ready to exclaim, "Are not Abana and Pharpar, rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? May I not wash in them and be clean?", being enraged that any should presume to dictate to them what is truth. If God were to leave us here, how just, and yet how awful!
Surely a measure of this has been fulfilled in you. You went to Hertford satisfied with anything but the truth; and when the Lord opened the mouth of such a poor weak instrument, how it offended your greatness! But, like Naaman, you were persuaded at length that the waters of Damascus could not heal your sickness, and you were made willing, by slow degrees, to receive the waters of Israel, which not only recovered you of your disease, but also brought you to see. How wonderful are the ways of God! As a further test of the power and efficacy of his Word, he put before you a living and dying testimony of the power and efficacy of these waters of life. You are not yet fully aware of the wonderful grace thus so freely bestowed upon you, that the Lord should cause the Spirit of life to enter your soul, by which you discover the difference between your former profession and that in which your dear mother so peacefully ended her days. You cannot yet fully understand the great condescension of the Lord in the manner in which he has so tenderly led you, and made you submit to his yoke.
Hart says of the Christian's warfare,
"His fairest pretensions must wholly be waived,
And his best resolutions be crossed;
Nor can he expect to be perfectly saved,
Until he find himself utterly lost.
When all this is done, and his heart is assured
Of the total remission of sins,
When his pardon is signed, and his peace is secured,
From that moment his conflict begins."Nor let your heart sink at this, though the trial comes from quarters none can foresee. The Lord puts no value upon human happiness, it is made up of such vanity; therefore he will not spare, though there be much crying for the loss of it. But this he will do: he will sanctify the troubles, let the nature of them be what it may, by working a measure of patience and submission, and teaching us, by little and little, to live upon the Word of God. First, believing we are great sinners; then, feeling sin exceeding sinful before God; then, trembling at his threatened judgments; then, stooping with fear, and yet crying for mercy, even after we have many times obtained mercy. In this way he makes us feel how little we are, and these exercises continued keep us little in our own estimation. And often while thinking, Shall we, so mean, so base, ever attain to eternal life? in some secret whisper we are surprised at the honor and value he puts upon us. Thus he gives us strength according to our need.
I have lately felt greatly cast down at the sight of many things which seemed lame in me, and greatly afraid lest I should be suffered to turn them aside without a sound healing; but in my many days of mourning, the Lord was pleased to look with compassion upon me in these words: "He has not appointed us unto wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ." This was inexpressibly reviving, and made me to rejoice in hope.
When I paid your mother a visit, I requested Mr. Gilpin to read to her Psalm 1, which was very sweet to me, as well as the comfort I found in prayer. My heart was united to her in spiritual love, and I could discover the joints and bands by which Christ's spiritual building was fitly framed together. I would now recall your attention also to the same psalm. Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of ungodly sinners, nor stands in obstinacy in the sinful ways of error, nor sits down quietly in the seat of scorners, to make light of those who hold the truth. But his delight is in the truth of God, the effect of the light of life entering the soul. He now begins to be a thinking man, and meditates day and night. He takes the whole Word, not a part. The effect of all this is sweetly found in your experience. "He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth his fruit in his season." Alas! you say, where is this fruit? You have been quickened to feel there was a divine power manifested in your mother's testimony; you believed the report; and the fruit was an earnest seeking to have that established in your heart, which you saw in her was quite sufficient to live and to die by. Then I add, as you thus received Christ, the light of life, so also look for the love of his heart; and whatever you do in this line of things will prosper. "The Lord knows the way of the righteous," and their many fearful and despairing thoughts. May he encourage you to follow the steps of those who are now, through faith and patience, inheriting the promises, is the prayer of
Your most unworthy servant in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 104
(To M. C. B.) London, March 1836.
Dear Madam,
My last letter to you was on a most important subject, and I was led with much anxiety to ponder what might be the effect of it. You are now in another and more responsible position. This change, whatever you or I may think, will bring to light many things heretofore hidden. You having put your hand to the gospel plough will, if the due weight of such a consideration be felt, find at times a clog in your new circumstances, and the new aspect of things. If you have feelings like myself, you will understand me when I say that a spirit of independence, which comes upon us in consequence of any prosperity, is the bane of one trembling as a sensible sinner under the conscious displeasure of God. How often, in the course of my pilgrimage, have I met with such as could not take counsel, because they thought themselves, as to outward circumstances, beyond the reach of the Word of the Lord, but, like that king of old, have gone away "heavy and displeased". Although I write in this manner, I hope better things of you; and these are peculiarly called for at this time.
I only express my wish to hear of your spiritual welfare; nor can I clear my own way unless I can prove that I feel for the affliction of Joseph. If you are spiritually taught, you will, with the rest, value the love of the church of Christ, and seek to be found in their prayers; for the Lord says, "By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one to another."
I exceedingly feel for you under the discouraging thought you express respecting giving up the means of grace. I hope such a day will never come. It was said to one, "Unstable as water, you shall not excel;" yet even that poor creature was, under the blessing of God, upheld by his almighty arm (Genesis 49:4; Deuteronomy 33:27). The Lord Jesus Christ says, "O you of little faith," not of no faith; and speaks thus for the comfort of you and me. Surely secret prayer will never be given up; though you may call your attempts no prayer, this proves nothing. God says, "Pray without ceasing."
"Prayer is appointed to convey
The blessings God designs to give.
Long as they live should Christians pray,
For only while they pray they live."O may the Lord never suffer you to become a dead professor!
So prays your unworthy servant, James Bourne
Letter 105
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 8 April 1836.
My dear Friend,
I have often thought that there may be many about you that will say like Pharaoh, "They are entangled in the land, the wilderness has shut them in." If you are like me you will find a fearful testimony within that often makes you, for a season, to believe the same. If you are of Israel, no doubt your difficulties will be both great and numerous; for God says, "I will harden Pharaoh's heart, that he shall follow after them." You will find (as I have found) that this pursuit of our enemies will make us sorely afraid; but it will be our mercy if like the children of Israel we in our fear cry unto the Lord; for though this cry be accompanied with much secret mourning and repining, the long-suffering mercy of God is such that he does not send us to our deserved place, but bids us not to fear, but "stand still, and see the salvation of God".
I wish not to complain, but I would have you know that I have many difficulties on all hands which are far beyond the help of flesh and blood. Yet I am not left to fight my battles alone; and though many watch for my halting, the Lord often draws very near and whispers sweet instruction. Since I wrote last I have been greatly cast down, fearing the Lord would give me up. In my sorrow I mourned before the Lord, and I remember the sweet sensation he created in my heart when he told me it was a time of double circumspection: "See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise." Be much in prayer; "Watch and be sober." The enemy is very busy; cleave close to me; and see, if this counsel be taken, whether it falls to the ground. Was it not infinite condescension in our God, to deal so tenderly with one so base, so abject, so treacherous, as myself? But he is a sovereign, and will have mercy because he will have mercy. But to return, I found grace from on high to take his sweet counsel, and was astonished to see that I had not to fight, but to pray, for the battle was his, not mine. "O that men would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!"
Let me conclude this letter with the next verse for Mrs. Gilpin: "For he satisfies the longing soul, and fills the hungry soul with goodness."
From yours affectionately in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 106
(To M. C. B.) London, I May 1836.
Dear Madam,
You tell me you have lately felt a great difficulty in either speaking or writing upon spiritual subjects; and I add, if you wish to avoid these difficulties, there can be nothing better for you than to give them up altogether, and escape, as David once did, into the land of the Philistines, so that we may despair of finding you in any coast of Israel. You will then be out of the reach of all such as truly fear God, and would in love caution you. And you may further proceed in your new pursuits, to give them some place in your affections, so as to follow your vain speculations as David did, for a full year and four months; during all which time, it is remarkable to observe, he neither spoke nor wrote on spiritual subjects. See 1 Samuel 27.
You will say then, What did he? He spent his time in worldly pursuits; one day he invaded the south, another day he invaded another place, and so enriched himself with spoils and friends, not always speaking the truth. What became of all these proceedings? If you pass on to chapter 30, you will find the Lord measures into his lap, full, pressed down, and running over, what he had for some time been measuring to others. He not only lost his family and his property, but the affections of those he sought to win by enriching them; for they presently threatened to stone him.
All these things God designed, under his divine management, to work for good; and David now began again to speak on the subject of religion, for it was pressed out of him by the weight of his calamity. "David was greatly distressed." Now if you, like David, manifest spiritual life under your trying circumstances, and feel distressed, and are enabled to encourage yourself in the Lord your God, and in your heart cry to him, with many confessions of that troop of evils you complain of, and wistfully pray, "Shall I pursue? Shall I overtake?" Shall I regain my spiritual speech? O my dear friend! All your happiness in this life, and in the next, depends upon the important answer, which if you do not gain, sooner or later, there can be no ground of hope for you. It is said, "David recovered all." And then out of the abundance of his heart he comforted the church of God. "O Lord, open you my lips, and my mouth shall show forth your praise."
I grieve to read in your letter the following words, "How very indifferent and careless I am about such matters, in general, and so taken up with the business and cares of this life, that I pass days without anything like real prayer." Now does not the repetition of this make you blush? You will find it as the Lord says, "Therefore will I be unto them as a lion; as a leopard by the way will I observe them" (Hosea 13:7). No doubt matters will take a decided turn shortly, and the question will be, "Who is on the Lord's side?" (Exodus 32:26). Do not be too hasty in saying that you will soon settle that. "It is not of him that wills, nor of him that runs; but of God who shows mercy."
Whatever distressing difficulties you may have to contend with, the Lord has told us that there is in every temptation, "a way to escape"; but man will not always inquire into this way. I can tell you what this way is—it is Christ, the only way of a sinner's escape.
Let these things sink deep into your heart, and remember that whatever trials you are called to be exercised in (no matter how many or how complicated they may be), if sanctified, they will lead you the more earnestly both to speak and to write spiritually, and increase in your communications with the church of God, that you may not be quite swallowed up in the cares of this life. "Demas has forsaken me, having loved this present world."
That the Lord may discover to you your danger, and graciously apply the remedy, is the prayer of
Your faithful friend in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 107
(To a Friend) Tunbridge Wells, 22 July 1836.
My dear Friend,
I have felt from many hints you have lately dropped, that you are not quite satisfied with everything that goes on within. You have sat under a bright ministry, and your head has gone faster than your feet, so that your enlightened understanding shows you that in the vanity of your mind you walk in many things which cannot consist with a broken and contrite spirit. I think you do well to notice this; and if this caution, at which you so often pause, be attended to, it may be a means of saving you much trouble.
Natural discretion is not spiritual; we may put it for spiritual discretion, but it always falls short when most needed, and a lightness of spirit is discovered, when the contrary is most profitable. A broken spirit will endure contradiction, even from inferiors; perhaps you feel the want of this as an overwhelming evil, which the Lord suffers, to show us that fleshly prudence can do little or nothing in the hour of temptation, especially when he is pleased to expose our weakness.
Some can scarcely bear to be spoken to upon any common subject, they are so quickly offended; but here is the point in question—a broken spirit cannot endure that it should be thus. The profiting which such often speak of is rendered unprofitable by it, and their lightness of spirit causes them to go away and forget "what manner of persons" they ought to be, "in all holy conversation and godliness"; so that their profiting becomes like the early dew, it passes away in the first heat of temptation, and there is nothing left but an unsavory account of something which, like the prodigal, they have shamefully wasted.
What shall we say to all this? If I may be allowed to say how it has been with me, I have found the furnace the only means of breaking the neck of that unruly independence and consequence which the flesh assumes, even in a profession. We sit as kings and queens, and so we would sit, and receive much fleshly respect, and call it spiritual union, until the gates of death are opened, and the Lord discovers the cheat. O what work is here! A sealed book, a sealed heart, and all darkness! We have lost our way. We have been in no end of company, and have talked much, and gained much of that honor that comes from men. But now our lamp seems put out. With shame I write it, but I have often been in this awful despairing place; but after much humbling work, by the kind management of the Lord Jesus Christ, I have eventually found that he has turned my captivity, and has given me some of the brightest evidences I ever knew; and the repetition of this has effectually brought me to the broken heart and contrite spirit of which I speak.
Then let our prayers continually be that the secret hints and whispers of the Spirit may be greatly cherished and daily watched and prayed over, and that we may have a wise and understanding heart given us to put these things into practice.
How hard it is to be nothing, when everybody is telling us we are something! But the sanctified furnace will do this, and must, if we ever come to know what spiritual happiness is.
I have had I trust a godly jealousy at seeing your increase of acquaintance; the profiting does not keep pace with it, nor is there much sympathy with the afflicted. "A word spoken in due season, how good is it!"
Yours faithfully, James Bourne
Letter 108
(To Mrs. Clark) Tunbridge Wells, 22 July 1836.
Dear Mrs. Clark,
You have been much upon my mind since I left town; though I have left you all for a season, I have not left off to consider "the affliction of Joseph," but am deeply affected by it, knowing that I am also in the body, and subject to the same. My fears run very high, lest I should be utterly forsaken in these times of trouble. I read the Word, and am often appalled at the manner it looks at me, and tremble lest I should not find a hiding place. This was very searching to me the other day, "I will perform against Eli all things which I have spoken concerning his house; when I begin, I will also make an end. For I have told him that I will judge his house forever, for the iniquity that he knows", not only his not restraining his sons, but for many more things which the Lord and he had often (if I may be allowed the expression) touched upon, but which Eli had passed by, and was therefore now to be judged (1 Samuel 3:11-14). I cannot tell you how these things make me ponder my way, and are a maul upon that levity and vanity, which so quickly brings in spiritual death.
The night before last I had a most awful sight of myself as a sinner before God. I saw nothing but his holiness and my sinfulness; every way of escape was hidden from my sight; very little power with the Lord Jesus Christ in prayer, and very little hope of seeing his reconciled face again. But such is and always has been his compassion that it never fails in the time of extremity. "Our Joseph cannot long refrain." The following day he returned, not with much joy, but with sweet power, and made me very sober, very little indeed in my own eyes, and trembling lest I should again be brought to such a place, and kept there; for I am persuaded the Lord need not look far for plenty of causes, if he were pleased to deal with me according to my sin.
I admire the goodness of God in your behalf, for I am sure you will acknowledge the truth of what I am about to say. While you were not so afflicted in body, and perhaps not so cautious in spirit, you had not those sweet intimations of God's gracious favor so frequently as you now have. You no doubt find with many of us, that the conflicts and conquests go together.
When I was lately called to speak to the people, my conflicts were very great. I never had such a sense of my ignorance and weakness in my life. I knew not what the Lord would do with me; all I could cry day and night was, "Lord, have mercy upon me." I was on a pinnacle, and knew not but that I might be dashed off. Yet the Lord had mercy, and often promised me I should not be ashamed nor confounded, world without end. So I have found it hitherto. "He is faithful that promised."
Every fresh trouble needs a fresh visit from the Lord. I cannot rest unless I find it. This is the exercise of living faith. A dead faith lives upon the written Word; a living faith lives upon the power of God, brought into the conscience. This is always attended with peace, and a perfect contentment with our lot, as given us in infinite wisdom. We, with the burdens thus fitted for us by divine wisdom, are sanctified by his sweet presence.
I hope you will forgive my writing, but my heart has been greatly toward you in your conflicts. Though I have been so silent, I seldom forget you before God; also our friend Mr. Nunn, whose case often makes me to tremble, lest the Lord should put me into such a furnace, and I not be able to bear it, as he does.
Your faithful friend in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 109
(To the Rev. W. Maddy) Tunbridge Wells, 5 August 1836.
My dear Sir,
I was glad to see your two letters, and more exceedingly to see the spirit of them; nor can I think that the Lord will suffer either your pupils or anything else to separate you finally from his love in Christ Jesus. I had a good morning in speaking upon "the vineyard of red wine" (Isaiah 27:2, 3), that the Lord will keep it, that none shall hurt it, neither sin, death, nor the devil; for the Lord will water it, either with affliction or the waters of life, so that neither the night of desertion nor the day of prosperity shall hurt it. All things shall work together for good in his elect. The Red Sea shall afford a safe passage for his people, but prove the destruction of his enemies. I felt greatly encouraged in many ways, and in the things that seemed to turn up in my favor. The Lord was present to heal, and has left a sweet savor of godly fear, with some hope that he will be with me in speaking in the evening upon the 4th and following verses.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 110
(To M. B. ) Tunbridge Wells, 12 August 1836.
Dear Cousin,
I thank you for the account you have given us of S. What is the nature of his despair? I cannot but secretly hope, from all that transpires, that even yet there may be a returning; but I feel the worst part to be, that after having been so long a member of a true church, and having given so many accounts of himself, now at the last this melancholy event should overtake him. Had it been at the beginning, we might have looked at it with more hope, but for the winding up of a profession to have this in it, is truly awful.
O Cousin, let not a vain, frivolous, and forgetful spirit be encouraged by us, for this will not abide the refiner's fire, nor the fuller's soap. Prosperity in any shape is a dangerous pinnacle. What I wrote in a letter a few days ago, I may now repeat. It is hard to be persuaded we are nobody, while everyone tells us we are somebody; even a grave look will hide part of this hypocrisy for a season, though we contend with the Lord secretly who is to have most honor. For this cause we are sent into captivity and left there; and the Lord only knows how long, or to what extent, this oppression of our enemies may be allowed. Remember poor young T., and now S. "The fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is." If genuine, a little more simplicity is seen, a little more quietness in spirit is felt, a little more humility is manifest; and all these things not only in the church, and before tender-hearted Christians, but before the world, and when no other eye but God's is witness. I am made to cry that I may not be left under the influence of any known sin, but earnestly seek, like Samuel, to offer up the lamb wholly to the Lord. O what should I do, if such a grievous event as this should overtake me? While I write my heart is drawn and invited to Jesus Christ as a suitable hiding place and strong tower, wherein his tempted souls may enter and find safety.
I observe generally that such as are overthrown in these "strong places" are those who will not be governed. They will not believe "the Lord is a man of war"; but a listless indifference overpowers them, and the devil tells them that all the cautions they hear are but man's words, and that they know better; thus they build, they plant, they marry, they sell, they buy, until the day comes and takes them all away. May the Lord open our ears to discipline, and give us to understand his voice in the present dispensation, and give us grace to take the warning, that all that is lame in us and about us may be healed.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 111
(To J. G.) Tunbridge Wells, 23 August 1836.
My dear Friend,
I have your letter to your sister C. before me now, and must say it has been a sweet savor of life unto life to my soul to see and feel the simplicity that is there manifest. I am truly happy to find you proceed so tenderly, for such caution is of the Lord. This is the very place that manifests between them that fear God and them that fear him not. How many say, "Why should I wait for the Lord any longer?"
I was also much comforted in the account of Mrs. Oakley, and think she must be a true yoke-fellow. The tenderness and patience she manifests is evidently of the Lord. I cannot but admire how the Lord is bringing to light a little lot of his sheep in your dark corner; and how you find out one another's spirit, and what unity is felt. "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me;" "a stranger they will not follow, but will flee from him, for they know not the voice of strangers." The plain English is this: the talk of the professors of the present day is the voice of the stranger; the sheep of Christ cannot understand it, nor feed upon such husks, nor bear it; but a few broken-hearted, cast down afflicted ones can understand one another. They know the voice of the Spirit that speaks in them; and thus they fold together, and Christ their Shepherd leads them. But poor Mrs. Oakley will say, I wish I could find he leads me; I have nothing but sorrow and trouble, and little hope of its being otherwise. I still say this good Shepherd leads us, and appoints many a painful and wearisome way; and what makes it more so, is our thinking he never does anything but comfort; in which we are deceived. He leads us by the waters of affliction first, to humble our pride and bring us to the publican's state; also to make us like little children without strength; and then come in the waters of life, most refreshing and reviving. Then, as new wine in new bottles, we are preserved unto eternal life. The one, namely the sorrow, is equally the leading of our good Shepherd with the other, namely the joy and peace. Therefore be not disheartened. "There is an end, and your expectation shall not be cut off." Gideon's army grew faint, yet they still pursued. David likewise pursued and re-covered all.
It is said in Joshua 23, "Be you therefore very courageous to keep and to do all that is written in the book of the law of Moses" (the Word of God), "that you come not among these nations that remain among you, neither make mention of the name of their gods . . . but cleave unto the Lord your God, as you have done unto this day; for the Lord has driven out from among you great nations and strong, but as for you, no man has been able to stand before you unto this day." While I write this, my heart warms with love and gratitude to the Lord for his mercy to us. His faithfulness has never failed; surely goodness and mercy have followed us, and it is of his mercy that we have not totally and finally fallen. The Lord our God has fought for us; as he promised, so he has performed, far beyond our utmost expectation.
Pray read that sweet chapter of Joshua; it is full of caution and admonition. My heart is much softened in warm desires to be kept very tender, and not to offend the Lord by turning aside at every "Lo here!" or "Lo there!" but still to keep close to this good Shepherd; now and then sweetly believing, "You prepare a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over."
Yours in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 112
(To a Friend) Tunbridge Wells, 11 September 1836.
Dear Friend,
There is nothing in this life that can equal or be compared to the least and most transient view of God's love in Christ Jesus to a broken-hearted sinner. I was much cast down this afternoon, and saw no end of that melancholy which turns everything into a wrong channel, besides filling the soul with slavish fear, as if God would never be gracious, and his mercies were clean gone for ever. Looking, and almost wearied out with looking, for some portion for my Sunday morning's reading, I quite gave up what I always desire to find, that is, a word that comes first with sweetness and power to my own heart, and makes me feel master of my subject. But in turning over the leaves, my eyes caught these words (John 20): "Mary stood without at the sepulcher weeping, .... and they say unto her, Woman, why weep you? She says unto them, Because they have taken away my Lord, and I know not where they have laid him." This suited my case, and moved me more than I can tell. I said, That is indeed the cause of all my sorrow. But my weeping was accompanied with such a divine adoration and sweet sense of his inestimable love, that I could scarcely show myself.
Many things in that chapter show Mary's great anxiety, perplexity, and grief; but presently the Lord Jesus Christ said, "Mary;" and she knew the voice. So did I; it was the voice of love and mercy, of reconciliation and friendship. No, he is not gone forever; but very near, if haply we feel after him. How low these things make us fall! How little in our own estimation! How high and holy is the Lord! We know not how to exalt him enough. He is truly what Mary called him, Master. We then desire that he should be our Lord and Master, our Priest and King; we seek with all the heart to render to him again for all the benefits received; but alas, how little can be said or done! And this is not all; for her further encouragement and mine, the Lord added, "Go to my brethren and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father, and to my God and your God." O my dear friend, these inestimable benefits exceed all words; and the very opening or glimpse of his sweet returning presence brought them all in. Eternal life was the beginning, middle, and end; and this is what the Apostle calls "Christ in you, the hope of glory."
All this began with the words, "Why weep you?" The remembrance is still so sweet that I can scarcely write the account to you. I have wept spiritually much lately, but the Lord's visitations have preserved my spirit. The same evening, we are told, he appeared to his disciples, and as he always did, brought peace along with him. So he does now whenever he comes, as I know full well, and would if I could invent better words to set such heavenly things before you; but what can I say, if the apostle calls it "passing all understanding", and in another place, "unspeakable"? I must leave it to that experience you have often had. "O taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man that trusts in him. O fear the Lord, you his saints, for there is no want to them that fear him."
Yours faithfully, James Bourne
Letter 113
(To — ) Handcross, 22 September 1836.
My dear — ,
I wish particularly to remind you of the beginning of the despair of poor S.; was it not a fear of coming to want? Your letter has much of this in it, and therefore I would caution you. What has been provided hitherto, and who has provided? Are you not at a loss to find your way to the Lord? I continually sink at the prospect of things, but I find God and his Word my refuge, and the little hope I attain to brings along with it a full reliance upon his goodness. Prevail with the Lord in prayer, and come to the blood of sprinkling, and you will find it speaks better things than human contrivances. It will honor God, and acknowledge that he does all things well. Did you ever consider that not a sparrow falls without his notice? and for your encouragement and mine it is added, "You are of more value than many sparrows." This consideration has often humbled me, and made me quite ashamed, and I have earnestly begged that I might in patience possess my soul, and quietly wait for his salvation.
We do well to consider that there may be many causes why the Lord withholds for a time: a worldly spirit, a seeking too much for worldly accommodation, a repining spirit, overlooking the many mercies we enjoy, a covetous spirit, a careless walk, a fruitless profession, a want of union with the church of God, no grieving for "the affliction of Joseph", continually walking to the stumbling of those about us, not keeping our place in subjection to the Word of God, hardening ourselves against reproof, living in independence of the people and the ministry, following the fashion of this world and lusting after it, idle hours every day, no heart to wrestle with God, plenty of reading the Scriptures, and grave looks, but no spiritual life, no profit in hearing, no willingness to help in the family worship, in the spirit of it, and let me add one more, no nourishing and cherishing any spark of spiritual life that appears in those with whom we dwell. For these and many more causes the Lord contends; and there is and can he no remedy, no clearing, no way of escape, but by falling down before the Lord and entreating him to give us a hearty acknowledgment of our sin. Here is a promise of mercy and nowhere else. O may the Lord suffer us not to say, This is not true, and that; but, like the Psalmist, "I have sinned."
From yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 114
(To M. C. B.) London, 10 October 1836.
Dear Madam,
I have been long absent from home, and have almost lost sight of you. May I declare what I sometimes hear a little of? That my friend is at times very light-hearted, and has business to do for which I hope she is not fully qualified; that is, to entertain carnal and frivolous friends with empty talk. O how will this soften a dying bed! Two parts to act! Two manners of life to walk in! The Lord says, "A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways," and "Let not that man think that he shall receive anything of the Lord." Here I fear is the cause of all your darkness, and of the display of want of ballast in your carriage with the world. The fear of God has a peculiar dignity in it; it commands respect, and God stamps authority upon it; but a loose walk is like a city without walls, or a vineyard with the hedge broken down. How the Lord resented this in me, in my early profession! What unheard of, what unforeseen things, most mortifying and crucifying, were suffered to overtake me, until I could learn, like Nebuchadnezzar, that the Most High rules in the kingdom of men! How exceedingly insensible to divine things you must be in your evening entertainments! How your friends must laugh in their sleeve (as it is called) at your religion! Nehemiah says, "So did not I, because of the fear of God." Joseph says, "How can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?"
Nothing will bring on or hasten the heavy hand of God more than meddling with divine things with a frivolous mind. For this reason it is written, "Stand in awe, and sin not." For if once the Spirit, as a Teacher, leave us, or in any way depart, we know not how long it may be before we find him helping our infirmities again.
Let me entreat you to lay these things to heart, and also remember that the Lord loves to deal in impossibilities of all sorts. "All things are possible with God," and nothing is too hard for him to overrule. May he be pleased to give you some lively spiritual energy, and manifest to you something of his sweet power, so as to discover to you that he is more "a very present help" than you are aware.
From your sincere friend, James Bourne
Letter 115
(To M. C. B.) London, 25 October 1836.
My dear Friend,
Your letter demands my earliest attention and acknowledgment. I wonder at your forbearance, and must claim a little more of it. "Strait is the gate, and narrow is the way that leads to life, and few there be that find it", and very few of that few in your rank of life.
Two especial things I notice in your letter; the first is a conviction of great hypocrisy. This would shock the dead professing world, but gives me hope that spiritual life is manifest thereby; since hypocrisy lies quiet and undisturbed in the breast of professors in general. And if words can convey the real feelings of the heart, I must confess your words upon this subject show me that you have no small portion of spiritual light. For in all directions I feel myself thus convicted in a way I never suspected before I became a partaker of the Spirit.
There is another thing I wish you could manifest by the same Spirit, as a further evidence of the work being of God, and that is, that when you are charged with anything which you perhaps may think yourself fully clear of, you may he enabled to fall, being a sinner in every sense. No sin can be laid to your charge which you can stand clear of in the sight of God. When the conscience is made tender, and the heart has a warm side towards God, it will always fall. As I often say, if I am charged with robbing the mail, though I know nothing about it, I sink in spirit, knowing God's judgments are past finding out. I cry, Woe is me!
"Are you come to call my sin to remembrance?" and by thus confessing and making the battle the Lord's instead of my own, I perceive I come off more than conqueror, and in no other way. The Lord often suffers men to charge us with many things that pride may be humbled, and that other things, which we carefully put aside may be brought to light. His ways are inexplicable, but tend all to one purpose, the glory of God.
The second thing I notice is this passage: "And this I am convinced of the instant I enter my room, and find myself alone in the Lord's presence." Surely this is not the way of death, but must be spiritual life; this is not insensibility, but conviction by the Spirit. And O, my dear friend, cherish this more than life itself, and whatever this says to you, be sure you pray and beg and entreat that it may be accomplished, yes, even if it be to the crucifixion of the flesh, that you may be saved in the day of the Lord. I say again, for God's sake, for Christ's sake, for your own salvation's sake, cherish, reverence, and stand in awe of the sacred and secret whispers of the Spirit, the Guide of your spiritual youth. Whatever loss you bear beside, O never give up this! This will teach you to lay your hand upon your mouth, and say with Job, "Behold, I am vile," whatever you are charged with; and I am sure you will never find a readier way to Christ than this.
May the Lord instruct you with his strong hand, and never let you go, until he clearly discovers to you himself, the only Way, the Truth, and the Life. I hope I shall find you "steadfast, immoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord"; for I am sure if it be so, "your labor is not in vain in the Lord".
Yours etc. James Bourne
P.S. When the sack's mouth was opened before Joseph's brethren, did they not look like thieves? They had not a word to say. Remember how quickly they were made conscious of their designs against their brother. Thus you see a thing of which they were not guilty was suffered to come upon them, to bring to their minds their guilty conduct to their brother.
Letter 116
(To Mrs. H.) London, 3 November 1836.
Dear Mrs. H.,
When first the Lord takes us in hand we always feel as if it were for our destruction that he has found us out. Under these terrifying feelings we are often charged with being mad, and lost to our family and friends; nor do we know to what extremity the displeasure of God which we feel may drive us. We secretly join in all the accusations of the grand enemy and of our blind friends, and sink into great despondency, thinking there can be no case like ours.
If any light appears, and we think that the Lord is surely instructing us, and bringing us either out of the world or a false profession, how our little light seems to encourage us to point out to those about us the dangerous places from which we have been plucked as brands half burnt from the fire. At first we are astonished that the friends we thus converse with cannot see with our eyes, nor understand they are in any danger; some pity, some laugh and mock, some scorn and utterly despise, and some that we think we have gained only prove thorns in our sides, and bring us into great bondage by a sort of compromise; half meeting their ways, to the great hindrance of the work of God. Yet here the Lord's pity is seen, in that he suffers not all this to stop his work, but prepares for it a furnace, and, like a wise Refiner, watches over the pure metal, so that none is lost; but only the dross of natural affection, and of loving mortal man more than the living God, is purged away. By these afflictions we are brought to a measure of subjection. "He is your Lord; and worship you him." Though this work fills us with fear and shame, yet it puts us a few steps lower in our own estimation, and leads us a little more steadily to stand in awe, and commune with our own hearts; and the discovery is, how deceitful they are, and not to be trusted.
Still, under all these various circumstances and trials, the work goes on, like the child that grows in the womb, and we know not how. At length we cry, "Behold, I am vile." This is what the Lord means to bring about by all his repeated blows; and when we lay our hands upon our mouths and justify God, acknowledging his infinite wisdom in all that he has brought upon us, God's messenger (and but "one among a thousand" is such) is sent to us, and his message is, "Deliver him from going down to the pit; I have found a ransom." This opens or unfolds a marvelous "new and living way", Christ Jesus, and we pray unto him, and he is favorable unto us, and we "see his face with joy", which but just before was a terror to us.
Thus if by the power of the Spirit you are enabled to stoop under all your various embarrassments, and find grace to put your mouth in the dust because you have perverted that which was right, then I say, however you may tremble for fear of God's judgments, yet you will find deliverance, and your "life shall see the light". Do not be surprised at the way the Lord is leading you, for it is written, "Lo, all these things works God oftentimes with man," and that for no other purpose than "to bring back his soul from the pit, to be enlightened with the light of the living" (Job 33:14-30).
"Mark well, O Job." In the various beclouded places in which you are now continually exercised, seeing you are surrounded with many that watch your movements, mark well that you lean not to your own understanding, though it may be naturally good; but be aware that fleshly prudence and natural discretion go but a very little way in spiritual matters. "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge," but fools despise this heavenly treasure, and know not that it brings discretion. Shun all odd ways, singular habits or anything that attracts attention. Be doubly cautious, by prayer and supplication, to square your life and walk, that they may reverence "your chaste conversation coupled with fear", and be ashamed when they falsely accuse you.
Let all see, when you have to act as head of the family, that the true fear of God increases your desire to be most useful, ornamental, and tender, in every direction. "Them that honor me I will honor, and they that despise me shall be lightly esteemed."
Yours faithfully, James Bourne
Letter 117
(To Mrs. H.) London, 14 December 1836.
Dear Mrs. H.,
The godly fear that I so strongly recommended in my last letter I would now also press you exceedingly to seek after and prize. It will prove "a fountain of life to depart from the snares of death", and will be such a light to your steps that you shall not stumble. It is necessary, in your situation, to retain much authority; which, as I said in conversation, and now say in writing, cannot be duly established but by the fear of God. This will stamp a dignity upon both your words and actions, and make you exceedingly tender in not doing anything that may offend the Lord; it will also keep you uniform in your outward walk in your family, not all levity and trifling one hour, and all religion the next.
How shall such an unprofitable servant as myself presume to counsel you? Often full of sorrow and darkness, I see not my own way, and sometimes fear I have lost it altogether, under sudden darts of the enemy that bring me almost to distraction. Yet the Lord, in great mercy and compassion, visits me with some hope, in the strength of which I press on; but I find that religion is a coming forth by the power of the Spirit from the vanities and love of the world; and if this part of the work be slow, so will our light be dim, our conduct and ways moveable, and all our paths filled with much confusion. Be "wise as serpents", but "harmless as doves". This can only be attained to by much secret seeking the Lord. Enter into your closet and heart; let that cry of the heart be heard, and then the open reward shall be seen.
No doubt you are aware, in secret before God, how far your heart is set upon seeking the Lord; and whether the world, the love of your family, or the fear of man, in some measure, directly or indirectly, sways you. According as these things preponderate, so will be your spiritual adversity or prosperity. The eyes of the Lord are open upon all our ways, and he gives to every man accordingly.
I hope the Lord will keep you very tender of his honor. Tempt not the Lord, lest he depart, and you should not be able to bring him back again into your heart. Cherish most tenderly every secret whisper of the Spirit, and grieve him not for the sake of any outward accommodation or comfort. Ought we not to obey God rather than man? (Acts 4:19). What need you have of wisdom from above, both as to the manner and matter of the obedience to be yielded to man; for much is to be done and won by gentleness in the fear of God and prayer. Especially remember you have nine watching all your movements, who will judge every step you take. The same circumstance has been to me a greater source of sorrow than most of my domestic concerns. I cannot always clear myself, nor explain to those about me the secret exercises of the heart; the heart-rending acknowledgments that are made before God, and the deep self-abasement I find for all my family sins and blunders. I know of no remedy but Christ, and no safety but in cleaving to him with all the heart. He will have nothing to do with divided hearts; never let such suppose that they shall obtain anything of the Lord.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 118
(To Mrs. H.) London, 13 February 1837.
Dear Friend,
It is said "Lord, in trouble have they visited you; they poured out a prayer when your chastening was upon them;" but does the trouble increase in any degree like that of the woman with child, when she "draws near to the time of her delivery", and "cries out in her pangs"? Have the cries been more vehement, or do you lose this spiritual energy in lesser troubles and cares? There is a great danger lest in this mistake we die not to the world, the flesh, and the devil. True spiritual life will fear a compromise, and such words as these will fill us with great alarm, "How soon is the fig tree withered away!" It had many leaves, but no fruit. But if these spiritual pangs have the right effect, they will bring on death, death to all hopes of salvation by the works of the law—death to chimeras and vain speculations, both as to ourselves and the imagined happiness of those about us.
In this death we mourn sore as doves, and are left alone as a sparrow upon the housetop; too good for this world, too bad for the church of God. Here the Lord in infinite condescension sends a word of encouragement, and tells our hearts that these are his dead, and that they "shall live". As the Lord Jesus Christ by his eternal power raised himself from the dead, so he will manifest the same power in raising such dead men to newness of life. This heavenly and spiritual resurrection will produce a new song of praise, and the heavenly dew shall so distill upon the soul, as to enable us to cast forth all ties and entanglements that would otherwise hold us from his sweet presence.
When the pangs of this spiritual birth are upon us, we cannot see how we are to be delivered, but Christ in due time shows us that he is "the Way, the Truth, and the Life". But, as I said before, remember our God is a jealous God, and will be honored and had in reverence; and in proportion as that heavenly dew drops upon the spirit, so and no more will your affections be attracted by your heavenly wooer, and by little and little you will withdraw from the dangerous snares that you suffer to be laid for your feet.
I find little else in this world but sorrow, my sin being the procuring cause; yet when I am enabled to enter into my chambers, and hide myself in much humiliation before God, I am surprised what a small moment it seems that the Lord Jesus shows his indignation towards me, before in mercy and compassion he visits my troubled heart, and fits me further for the next trouble, which is sure quickly to take place, as each succeeding wave follows the last (Isaiah 26:16-21).
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 119
(To Mrs. H.) London, 3 March 1837.
My dear Friend,
I am exceedingly anxious to see that the profession we enter into is not merely a system of morality and opinion, but that we attain to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. If we are troubled in our minds about the salvation of our souls, we may be sure the enemy will raise no end of diversions in all directions to keep us from the point in hand. We ought to know that finding opposition from all quarters is not Christ; and making all manner of sacrifices of our pleasures and comforts is not Christ. We may take the veil, and miss Christ. All these things show the deep necessity of entering narrowly into our ways, and considering well what it is we are seeking after. Christ compares himself to a door, and tells us if we enter in we shall be saved. We may stay as long as we please on the outside, and as near as we please, but we are told that the entering in is the salvation. This we ought especially to lay to heart. We read of one who was thirty-eight years without the power of entering (John 5:5). Let us be diligent in secret prayer to the Lord to show us all the hindrances. Perhaps the love of many things, more than the difficulties attending the entrance at this Door, keeps us on the outside; perhaps the love of the world, which appears in many shapes, pride, ambition, comfortable accommodations, fear of reproach or evil reports, or possibly that most dangerous of all snares, a compromising spirit, seeking to make friends with both parties.
Perhaps you will say, I have neither wisdom nor strength to help myself. In that case, if the heart is made honest, I can assure you there will be no end of ways and means by which the Lord will appear, and often give the most sweet and pressing invitations to enter this Door; and though he bring us into a wilderness of difficulties for the humbling of our pride, yet there he asks, "Did ever people" (except the people of God) "hear the voice of God speaking out of the midst of the fire, as you have heard, and live?" and further tells us, "Out of Heaven he made you to hear his voice, that he might instruct you" (Deuteronomy 4:33-36). When this voice, comes in terrible majesty, and we hear these words pronounced upon our hearts, "The soul that sins, it shall die" (Ezekiel 18:20), it turns all our lightness and loveliness into corruption, and makes us to inquire in good earnest where the door is, and how it is to be entered. But while the conscience is whole and quiet, or only a little disturbed, the various occupations of a slight and easy profession will more than half satisfy the soul in such a sluggish posture inquiring for this Door. "The soul of the sluggard desires and has nothing." "Yet a little sleep" (he says), "a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep." "So shall your poverty come as one that travels, and your want as an armed man" (Proverbs 13:4, and 24:33, 34). Then there will be a sudden discovery how we have slighted the means, and trifled our lives away on the outside of the Door, and too late we shall begin to knock, "Lord, Lord, open unto us!"
I have had a heavy heart of late, surrounded with many fears and difficulties known only to God; but I found the sweetest encouragement this day in Deuteronomy 4:I may say with David, "He sent from above, he took me, he drew me out of many waters; he delivered me from my strong enemy" (unbelief), and gave me a sweet entrance into the Door of life. That this may be your happy lot, is the prayer of
Yours most faithfully in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 120
(To Mr. H. H.) London, 22 March 1837.
My dear young Friend,
I have a Friend to recommend to your notice whom I have tried for many years. Your frail appearance leads me to hope that you will listen to my recommendation. He is the best Physician I ever met with; no complaint is hid from him, nor any too desperate for his skill. No poor mortal was ever in a more dangerous condition than myself, under sentence of death for the worst of crimes, and lost to all hopes of relief; yet even then this Friend appeared, and while I looked on, "he did wondrously". Can you be excited to listen? Can you believe the report? I assure you the half cannot be told of his skill and power, his affections of compassion and tender care. I would say, "Venture on him, venture wholly." The oil and the wine which he will give will cheer and comfort your drooping spirits, and the ointment when poured forth will cause you to love him with all your heart. He will take care of you on your journey through life, and bind up that which is broken. Can I yet prevail on you to bring your complaints to him? He never leaves his patients nor forsakes them, though they have neither money nor price, but puts underneath them his everlasting arms, and supports them in their greatest pangs, and is gentle towards them, even as a nurse cherishes her children; so that whatever they stand in need of, under all their calamities, he is that.
I entreat you not to delay to present your case before him. Be assured, if you come with all your heart, you will not long lie unnoticed, but you will have some such kind word as this: "What will you that I should do unto you?" Then tell him of all your sores, and you will find a complete cure; and you will be most glad to give the whole glory unto such an incomparable Friend.
From your sincere well-wisher, in the service of the best Physician, James Bourne
Letter 121
London, 1 May 1837.
To the church of God, or little hill of Zion, at Pulverbach in Shropshire.
I have been much pleased with the accounts which my friends have lately sent, and I cannot but be thankful to see that teachable spirit which so much abounds, and its sweet effects. Godly simplicity is an inestimable grace which will stand the furnace, and never shines more brightly than when depressed and surrounded with all sorts of perplexities and difficulties, as in the case of your friend Mrs. Oakley. You have sent a sweet account of the work of God upon her heart, and as sure as the Redeemer appeared for her, in all her overwhelming difficulties, so sure will he deliver her from every enemy.
Remember her spiritual anxiety was great; she was brought very low, and the sorrows of death compassed her about; but the Lord heard the voice of her supplication, and the support she found was none other than the love of God to her in Christ Jesus, for he stood at her right hand to save her from those that would condemn her soul.
Let her be mindful of the exhortation "that you increase more and more." She is not yet out of the field of battle; she may rest assured that every inch of this heavenly ground will be disputed; therefore tell her to keep close to that Redeemer who came to her help in the first instance, and to believe that he will never leave her nor forsake her. Troubles do not spring out of the ground, but are given in weight and measure, as the Lord sees that we need ballast. She would never know the preciousness of this sweet Savior, if she never went into the depths of misery; it was here David cried, and the Lord heard him; but see how earnestly he waited both for and upon the Lord, and surely he did not wait in vain; no more will Mrs. Oakley. David bids her to hope in the Lord, "for with the Lord there is mercy, and with him is plenteous redemption." I have indeed found this to be a truth many times, and especially of late, far beyond my utmost expectations.
Dear Mrs. Oakley, you have found with me that the incorruptible seed of eternal life is sown in weakness; and (like your corn) sometimes lies earth-bound for want of the showers of Heaven; but the Lord has graciously told us, "The gardener waits for the precious fruit of the earth, and has long patience for it, until he receive the early and the latter rain." You and I have found that the Lord has tried us long here, but at length has not failed us; we have been surrounded with many fears, and have often been ready to give up all, yet a power unseen, and less understood, kept us, and kept us crying, and for this purpose, that our strength and wisdom might have no hand in the mighty work of God.
O what little light we have upon God's ways and purposes for a long time! Yet as we need so he gradually unfolds them day by day, keeping us dependent upon him. It is wonderful how, in these dark dispensations, we are kept seeking; and how the Lord blends temporal concerns with spiritual, and often when we are seeking for wisdom to act in our outward matters, condescends to show us some token for good as it respects his favor towards us, even a sweet hope that Christ is our Redeemer, and that with him we possess freely all things.
How sweetly these words came to me last night, "After long abstinence" (much darkness, many fears) Paul said, "There stood by me this night the angel of God" (the angel of the everlasting covenant) "whose I am and whom I serve, saying, 'Fear not.' " (Acts 27:21-24). This shows the goodness and mercy of God in trouble, and also gives us to understand that there is yet further trouble to come, but that the Lord will stand by us, and tells us not to be disheartened. I felt this was a truth, and for the time was enabled to cast all my cares, fears, and anxieties upon him, in full confidence that he would not leave me nor forsake me.
No doubt the little help that the Lord has afforded you has often since been disputed as being nothing but delusion; but let me entreat you to dispute this point, and not think yourself obliged to believe every lie the devil will tell you. Only watch and see when you claim these sweet seasons (however short) to be of God, whether he will tell you they are a deception. I am sure you will never find any such thing; but if, in your fears, you cry earnestly to him, he will confirm it all, and add more. "No good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly."
Be constant at a throne of grace, and watch how the Lord receives you there; and if you find shyness or difficulty of access, then be sure something is wrong, and turn your prayers into confessions, and tell him he is the light of the world, and he alone can discover the hidden deception of the heart; and be sure you seek to feed spiritually on "the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth" (1 Corinthians 5:8). I often beg (and I trust by his grace with some sincerity) that I may be made and kept transparent; this is in opposition to a double mind which shall obtain nothing from the Lord (James 1:6-8).
I have known many troubles, and have often remained long in them, because I have much pride to bring down; but the Lord has, sooner or later, not only taught me to bear his indignation because I have sinned against him, but has also given me the brightest discoveries of his love I ever knew, when his delivering hand has appeared. Therefore I say if we think it long before this takes place, "though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry;" and wait in prayer, not in idleness; "watch and pray;" let your eye and expectation be continually on the lookout for Christ, for you that wait for him shall never be disappointed nor confounded world without end (Micah 7:9; Habakkuk 2:3).
I entreat you to seek for further discoveries of God's love; it is called unsearchable riches that pass all human knowledge; the length and depth, breadth and height, exceed your utmost objections, sins, and difficulties. Give the Lord no rest until he make you "a praise in the earth". The prayer of faith will quench the fire of temptation, and will make the weakest strong in the Lord, so as to wax valiant in fight and turn to flight all the armies of the aliens; thus we shall obtain a good report of the Spirit of God, that the work is his own, and that he will finish it, bringing forth "the head-stone thereof with shoutings, crying, Grace, Grace unto it" (Isaiah 62:7; Hebrews 11:2, 34; Zechariah 4:7).
I am truly glad to hear that there are a few among you who are seeking for the water of life.
The young man you speak of appears very hopeful, and I hope the world, and all the cravings of that body of sin within, may not draw him aside from "the simplicity that is in Christ". Tell him to seek most earnestly for that rich treasure, the fear of God; it will prove "a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death" which will be laid for his feet in all directions. Tell him to beware of wolves in sheep's clothing, false professors who will come, some with "Lo here!" and others with "Lo there!" Tell him to read his Bible, and pray over it, and confess his sins to the Lord Jesus Christ. If they become a heavy burden, too heavy for him, it will make him cry for help, and he will find there is no help but Christ, and he will one day be surprised how kindly Christ will come and speak to him, and assure his heart of his love to him, and that he shall never perish. Tell him also to beware of the public house, and shun it as he would the devil, either to receive wages, or meet sick clubs, or for any other pretended necessary purpose. Such baneful beginnings would cut up all spiritual increase, and leave him, like Samson, shorn of his strength. Attending funerals of the dead, eating, drinking, smoking, carnal company and publicity of all sorts tend to deaden the soul and make the spirit flat when we return in private before God. May the Lord condescend to clear his way, and keep his heart tender and his mind sober, so that he may be brought to the saving knowledge of the truth in a sweet experience.
Tell Sukey Harley to watch over him, and like a good mother in Israel, to pray for his spiritual prosperity; and to be sure to blow the trumpet and give the alarm at the first sight of the enemy towards him.
May you all preserve the unity of the Spirit and have the testimony of God that you are of one heart and one way. James Bourne
Letter 122
(To M. C. B.) London, 12 May 1837.
My dear Friend,
Christ says, "I counsel you to buy of me white clothing, that you may be clothed, and that the shame of your nakedness do not appear" (by our spirits being dry, flat, barren, and lifeless); "and anoint your eyes with eye salve, that you may see" (Rev. 3:18). The Psalmist tells us "The trees of the Lord are full of sap." There must be (more or less) spiritual energy, some measure of prevalency with God in prayer, so as not to be altogether carried away by outward circumstances.
I have always been led to fear that profession of religion which finds fault with, or complains of the post in which God himself in his all-wise providence has placed us. It denotes an ignorance of God's ways, and a want of understanding that he can do no wrong. Your present circumstances will very likely be a test of your profession altogether. I read this morning, "There shall be a time of trouble, such as never was since there was a nation even to that same time;" but it is added, "and at that time your people shall be delivered, every one that shall be found written in the book" (Daniel 12:1). You will be ready to ask, What did you say to this? This was my reply, Lord, you have said, "Come, my people, enter into your chambers, and shut your doors about you, and hide yourself as it were for a little moment, until the indignation be overpast" (Isaiah 26:20). You know as well as I that Christ is the only hiding place.
It is a sad mark to be discouraged when the truth is set before you, and not to find it attended with some bitter cries of your need of a Savior, making your restless spirit to find no place for the sole of your foot in this vain world; but that is a right discouragement which does thus lead you from self to the Rock. There is no situation in life, however difficult, wherein God has placed us, but he will fit us to acquit ourselves like people that fear God; and instead of withering under the circumstances we are placed in, we shall find the words true: "My grace is sufficient for you." But do you ask for this wisdom and grace? Are you honest here? I fear there is some decay in secret, as the cause of the outward confusion and darkness in which you are shut up. You have been much upon my heart and in my prayers, and it would grieve me to find that you are not like the grain of mustard seed, in the parable; however small, we read that it grows until it, be manifest to all; and the apostle says "I beseech you, brethren, that you increase more and more."
I have as many and as great difficulties to contend with as you, yet I dare not repine, but cry to the Lord; and this morning, so crying, as I recommend to you, I was surprised to find the Lord Jesus Christ very near to comfort and cleanse my guilty soul. I recommend nothing to you that I have not tried, and I am confident you will find him a sure Foundation, for "with God all things are possible".
I entreat you as the apostle does his son Timothy, "Meditate on these things, give yourself wholly to them, that your profiting may appear to all." And O what words are added! Did you ever lay them to heart? They make me tremble while I consider them: "I give you charge in the sight of God, who quickens all things, and before Jesus Christ, who before Pontius Pilate witnessed a good confession, that you keep this commandment" (the word of the Lord) "without spot, unrebukable, until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ."
Grace be with you, Amen. James Bourne
Letter 123
(To Mrs. H.) London, 12 May 1837.
Dear Mrs. H.,
Much of your future happiness depends upon your present measures, and how far you prevail with the Lord to give you that spiritual discretion without which you cannot take one step aright. He himself declares, "Without me you can do nothing;" yet how many vain plans you contrive, and forget that he is always telling you, "Many are the devices of a man's heart; but the counsel of the Lord, that shall stand." If the sight of these things makes you tremble, and you feel the force of them, you will continue the prayer you spoke of, for nothing will communicate such divine courage to the soul as the sweet sense of the Lord's presence, and of his kindly hearing your feeble petitions. This will give the wisdom and prudence I speak of, and clear the rugged path.
I purpose by the help of God to tell you what in your letter fails in knowledge of the Word of God, and the work of the Spirit, and yet to show that even such are taken in hand and instructed, "here a little, and there a little", until they fall flat at the feet of Christ, like Mary Magdalene.
First, your legal spirit wants to make a preparation; for you say you do not know how sinful you are, and therefore are not humbled before God. I should wonder if you had known this mystery, for God himself has asked the question, and it never yet was answered, "Who can understand his errors?" Let it suffice that you are troubled. It is said, without naming what your trouble is, "Call upon me in the day of trouble, I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me." Nothing will make you more bitterly lament your sin and folly than a sweet revelation of God's favor to you in Christ Jesus. This will effectually humble you in the dust.
"Law and terrors do but harden,
All the while they work alone,
But a sense of blood-bought pardon,
Soon dissolves a heart of stone."Christ gives his disciples "power to tread upon serpents and scorpions", the serpents and scorpions of pride, self-will, self-sufficiency, and the love of vanity. We shall have power given to tread on these; it must be so; but the Lord adds, "Notwithstanding, in this rejoice not, that the spirits are subject unto you; but rather rejoice, because your names are written in Heaven." This is the testimony that you must seek after (Luke 10:19, 20). Then you write, "There always seems something between me and my God which I cannot see." You are nothing but sin in God's sight, and loathsome, and blind; and therefore no wonder you cannot see. Why seek to the Good Physician, if you could see? He is of no use to such as can help themselves, nor will he help any that claim him as their God, without the witness of the Holy Spirit.
You again add: "and there is a lurking fear of man." I should wonder if it were not so; but I see you are determined to be very good, and God is determined to serve you as he did Job, plunge you into the ditch, so that your own clothes shall abhor you. Nothing but perfect love can cast out all fear; and that is the love of Christ, which I entreat you to seek after, and not to mend yourself before you cry for it.
These few hints may at first sight dishearten, yet a false healing will never do any good. If ever you are saved it must be as a sinner;
"Not the righteous;
Sinners Jesus came to call."
Only to the "lost sheep of the house of Israel" was Christ sent. When you begin to mourn alone, and really feel a secret suspicion rise in your heart that it is all over with you, and now there can be no hope, then is the time of deliverance. "Then look up, for your redemption draws near."
Take courage; be willing to be nothing; you have long enough been something in your own eyes; but God will strike a humbling blow upon the weakest part, and give you many a weeping eye, when you lay to heart how little you have thought what Christ has done and suffered for you; and you will learn to put your mouth in the dust before God, and wonder at his inexpressible condescension to you, a worthless worm. Can you understand this language? By God's grace I can, and find it the happiest place in all the world; for while I am nothing before the Lord Jesus Christ, he is everything; yet he allows me such holy familiarity as I cannot describe, telling him how much I love him, because he has first loved me; and suffers me to bring all my troubles, cares, and sorrows, perceiving that he is moved with the feeling of all my infirmities.
Whatever I have written at the beginning that may cast you down, let this encourage you to hope in the Lord; and remember he is "no respecter of persons".
Yours in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 124
(To M. C. B.) London, 18 May 1837.
My dear Friend,
Do pardon my liberty in so quickly answering your letter, which has laden me with much sorrow. I have seen much of the world, as well as much affliction in the church of God, and have met with a great variety of characters; and therefore am often led to ponder those words: "considering yourself, lest you also be tempted." This has taught me much tenderness and patience.
I know and am persuaded that there is no other gospel, nor way of salvation, than that I have set before you; and that if the truth does not save you, nothing else can. I also know that when the law enters it will stir up nothing but wrath and enmity; and this is God's design, that some discovery may be made of the depths of iniquity within, and of the desperate state in which sin has involved us. Your kind interest in my behalf has deserved and brought out the utmost faithfulness in my prayers on your behalf. I have no other means to show my gratitude to God and to his people; and herein have I found both my safety and spiritual prosperity, and do expect to find afterwards more favor than he who flatters with his lips. I must press this upon you. Do not suppose I am judging you, but that I feel for your case, and would, with many prayers, defeat the purpose of the devil, who is going about seeking whom he may be permitted to devour. You have been long in the Slough of Despond, and it would sorely grieve me that you should make a desperate plunge, like Pliable, to get out on the side next to your house.
I think I never pass a day but I beg of the Lord to remember you. I cannot altogether be so easily thrust off, and not correspond any more. "Who is offended, and I burn not?" Long-suffering is a grace of the Spirit which I wish to be found in the exercise of. I am not naturally so soon disheartened, and I think the Holy Spirit has taught me not to be too hasty in any of my measures. If you knew the full extent of what it is to be rent from the heart, prayers, and affections of the people of God, you would exceedingly fear such a thing. I was once under that distressing trial, and could find no rest, night nor day; no sleep, no appetite, no relish for the world, no looking for anything but an everlasting separation from the presence of God. But here it was his compassions did not fail; and here he said, You shall return in the power of the Spirit; and though I found it hard to believe, as being too great for such an unworthy creature as myself, yet his word was like a hammer; it broke my heart to pieces, and like ointment poured forth, it comforted me so that I believed I should never perish, but have everlasting life.
I am sorely grieved for you, and know how to feel for you in all your troubles. I wish I could help you. Dare you believe me? This is a day of trial to you; God has put you into the trial; you must not murmur at a faithful friend. I dare not deal roughly with any because of the fear of the Lord. I dare not deal falsely with any because of the same. This day of trial shall come upon all flesh; but all flesh will not stand it. My dear friend, "Stand in awe"; for if we stop short of Christ's salvation, what an awful day will that be! Do not so much fret about your present deprivation of communion with the people of God; but rather seek communion with God himself, and tremble when your pen is about to write that you do not pray. If once you could prevail with the Lord, you would soon see that that gift would make room for you in the hearts of all the children of God.
As I told Mr. H., so I tell you, it is hard to be nothing. Yet I hope the Lord is working this mighty work in you; and rest assured it will not be the work of a day. When he has brought you to this, you will not wish to drop your correspondence with me, but will more heartily wish to declare to all what a dear Savior you have found.
I must still insist upon it that my difficulties and afflictions are as great and manifold as yours, and my sorrows as heavy upon me; though I allow that, by the mercy of God and long experience, I have been taught a readier way to find shelter in Christ's wounded side. I see no cause why you should be disheartened when your case is pointed out; nor will I hear of your not having fellowship with the people of God. My prayers shall yet be for your spiritual welfare, and that the Lord may appear for you in your present anguish, and make it manifest that though there is none like it, yet he will deliver you out of it.
Yours faithfully, James Bourne
Letter 125
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 18 May 1837.
My dear Friend,
The spirit of your letter comforted me greatly. I myself am under many trials, and am often cast down because of the way. The troubles of our church fill me with much grief, and being ignorant, I know not how to handle them. I have some fearful apprehensions of the necessity of sheltering in Christ's wounded side. It is on this firm Rock alone that believers stand. The weakest of all weak worms shall stand there, even when towers fall.
My letter to Mrs. H. can be no grief of heart to you; nor can there be any other gospel than that which I have showed to M. C. B. Being much in trouble myself, I had much sought the Lord for myself, and had found at times such sweet supporting strength as I cannot describe; and those two letters were written when I was like a weaned child, under the sweet influence and power of these things. The true light shone; the truth and the way were discovered; and therefore I felt so free in heart to point out the snares of the devil, and the sly, soft insinuations of natural affection, which always forbid a probing of the wound, and therefore, of consequence, a sound healing. But truth will come out at such a time; and if it meet with rickety children, they cannot bear shaking; and if with sound and healthy, they receive it, and it confirms their spiritual health.
The hindrances to my visiting you appear great, yet I am never disheartened by such things, nor do I ever find them to be the sign; for often the sweetest blessings are found, after pressing through the thickest crowd.
Many here join me in kind remembrances to your little church. Nothing comes so sweet as what we get at through the difficulties you describe; it is rest to the weary, bread to the hungry, and to them "every bitter thing is sweet".
Yours very affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 126
(To Mr. Yeomans) London, 18 May 1837.
My dear Friend,
Since I wrote last I have been in many afflictions, both personal and in the church. In the latter, though not directly concerned, yet I have fallen into much anxiety and some heavy fears. I was one morning reading the Word, and this portion first caught my eye, and then entered deeply into my heart, with a sweet persuasion that the Lord had given me power to trust in him: "The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever puts his trust in the Lord shall be safe" (Proverbs 29:25). This greatly encouraged me, and followed me for some days, reminding me of the necessity of that lively trust which would now be called for; and it caused much watchfulness, with fear and trembling. A verse in Hart's hymns was also very sweetly applied when I was cast down
"Your goodness how immense,
To those that fear your name!
Your love surpasses thought or sense,
And always is the same."It enlarged my contracted heart, and encouraged my faith and hope in the Lord, and I was again brought to the first point, namely, "Whoever puts his trust in the Lord shall be safe." I again returned to many fears, but the Word of God was often my support, and at times shone like many diamonds. The Lord spoke more kindly to me by it than I can tell you, and gave me such understanding of my personal interest in it, as often to make me like a weaned child. He seemed determined that I should understand he would take care of me and hide me under the shadow of his wings; and if the Lord will enable me, I will tell you how he manifested this kindness. It was by greatly humbling me in my own eyes and causing me to fear always, yet with such a meek spirit of freedom as I cannot express. "Who is offended and I burn not?" Yet I was still kept in the exercise of many conflicts and much threatened danger. I have gone to chapel crying, praying, and entreating that the Lord would be merciful to me, and have been astonished how he has comforted me. The second hymn today quite overpowered me, and set my heart in sweet liberty:
"But they that in the Lord confide,
And shelter in his wounded side,
Shall see the danger overpast,
Stand every storm, and live at last."The first beauty I found in these words was, that there is no shelter, no rest, no hope, no love, no liberty, but in the blood of Christ cleansing from all sin. The Holy Spirit bore a sweet testimony that this was the case with me, and I greatly rejoiced in this salvation. Then the next verse:
"What Christ has said must be fulfilled,
On this firm Rock believers build.
His word shall stand; his truth prevail;
And not one jot nor tittle fail."This I saw was the only Rock that would stand the storm, and banish slavish fear; and this Rock of ages must be brought into the heart by a true and living faith wrought by the Holy Spirit. I saw that all religion that stops short of a shelter in Christ's wounded side would prove a house upon the sand. I cannot tell you how much I was comforted and how much at a loss I am to declare sufficiently the goodness of God to me in all my afflictions.
I have read your account of Mrs. Barber, and find her a true yoke-fellow. O that I may finish my course as she did! The Lord has been very kind to me, and I know not how to doubt that he will fulfill that promise upon which he has caused me to hope, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." What you say is true indeed. How few we can find union with, and therefore how ought this sweet spiritual fellowship to be cherished! May the Lord comfort your heart and maintain spiritual vigor, as your natural life decays, and not suffer the giving up of your temporal concerns to bring a flatness upon your spirit (which is so common a case) and to cover your latter days with a cloud. May the Lord abundantly shine upon your heart, and lead you continually to shelter in the Savior's wounded side.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 127
(To Mrs. H.) London, 21 May 1837.
Dear Mrs. H.,
I have always considered my correspondence with you of very weighty importance. Your case is peculiar; your difficulties are many; and the enemy is very earnest in seeking to confound your steps in the entrance of the Gate of Life. We are told (Proverbs 1), Wisdom cries "in the opening of the gates", and the cry is, "Turn you at my reproof; and behold I will pour out my Spirit unto you, I will make known my words unto you." This is given as a tender caution; I feel the weight of it, and therefore am led with much awe upon my spirit, and in the greatest kindness not to hide any of the dangers to which you are exposed. I cannot tell you what fear I have felt lest I should be found setting at nothing Wisdom's counsel; the words which follow (v. 26) filled me this day with great consternation, and in the next verse we hear of desolation, destruction, whirlwind, distress, anguish, under all which the Lord will not hear, because "they would none of his counsel". Yet I was much encouraged at the sweet opening of the way of escape which he makes for every trembling heart. "But whoever hearkens unto me shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil."
Being greatly moved for your spiritual welfare, I would most earnestly entreat you not to listen to that evil principle which is in your heart, which will object to all truth, and set you down in a fleshly profession; but rather take heed to that principle called "the new man", or the Spirit of life, which I trust has entered your heart. This will find many friendly excuses for plain dealing, and "incline your ear unto wisdom, and apply your heart to understanding;" for you may rest assured that if you cry after spiritual knowledge, and search for it as for "hid treasures", "then shall you understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God." And you will bless God forever that he has sent you a faithful friend, who dared not shun to declare the whole counsel of God, so far as he knew it.
When Jesus Christ, the heavenly Wisdom, enters into your heart, and this knowledge is pleasant unto your soul, "discretion shall preserve you, understanding shall keep you", to deliver you from the evil spirit in man, "that speaks froward things" (Proverbs 2:1-12).
My heart's desire and prayer is that you may be saved. "Take fast hold of instruction; let her not go; keep her; for she is your life." Though you may complain of much darkness and your mind be at times in confusion, yet "unto the upright" (the honest or transparent) "there arises light in the darkness;" and "the path of the just is as the shining light, that shines more and more unto the perfect day." This will bring spiritual health; this will establish your goings, and sweetly unite our spirits in the bonds of the gospel (Proverbs 4:13, etc.).
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 128
(To Mrs. Tims) London, 4 June 1837.
Dear Mrs. Tims,
I am sorry I have so greatly neglected you, but a variety of exercises have drawn my mind another way. I perceive the gospel net has enclosed you, and though flesh and blood would rend you from it, yet the Savior gave the command to cast the net on the right side, that it might enclose you.
Though these early intimations of his goodwill and purpose are but seen "through a glass darkly", yet they are seen and this excites the cry you set forth in your letter. Fear will many times drive you to cry to Jesus Christ, and he will often appear to turn a deaf ear, and seem as if, instead of attending to you, he would be writing on the ground. Thus he proves the faithfulness of the heart, whether the work be of the right sort. The Syrophenician woman was greatly rebuffed, but it only made her the more earnest, until the Savior said, "O woman, great is your faith; be it unto you even as you will." Who knows but this may be your happy case? Do you feel a spiritual determination to try? If it be, most assuredly you will find all your darkness and confusion, your fears and anxieties, will be lost in the revelation of Christ's pardoning love to your soul; which will make the new birth clear, and enable you "to comprehend, with all saints, what is the breadth and length, the depth and height, and to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge".
O what a secret and incomprehensible thing it is to be translated into the kingdom of Christ! "You that were sometime alienated" now reconciled! The apostle calls it "the mystery which has been hid from ages and from generations, but now is made manifest to his saints". I scarcely know how to write these heavenly things. You and I, we now living, are made partakers of "the riches of the glory of this mystery", even Christ in us, the hope of glory. This sweet chapter (Colossians 1) also tells us of the necessity of warning, that we should not let slip the teaching of wisdom, for it is written in another place, "You did run well; who did hinder you, that you should not obey the truth?"
The apostle seems to think that the Colossians scarcely suspected the conflict he had for their spiritual welfare, and how earnestly he desired "that their hearts might be comforted, being knit together in love, and unto all riches of the full assurance of understanding". I also feel for many of you at Hertford; I long after you in Christ Jesus, that you may come to the experimental knowledge of the mystery of God the Spirit, of the Father, and of Christ. Surely here "are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge". I am again overpowered with the sweet sense and power of these things, and feel the sweetest personal interest in them, beyond what I can express. O my dear friend, thus receive Christ Jesus the Lord, and thus walk in him; and beware lest you be beguiled through the vanity of your worldly cares to rest short of him, the only help of helpless sinners (Colossians 2, 1-8).
Remember me very kindly to Mrs. H. I often think of her, and often pray for her. I cannot but believe the Lord will take her part against all her enemies; and I hope and pray that he will give her what David had when pursued of Saul. It is first said, "David behaved himself wisely;" but as circumstances grew more desperate, it is added, "he behaved himself very wisely" (1 Samuel 18:5, 14, 15). I am much in earnest that our friend may abundantly make manifest this wisdom of God in her.
Remember me also to Mrs. G. I hope this letter may be as well for her as for you, and that she will, in her present affliction, get some of the same fire which the Lord has kindled in my heart in the writing of it. May the Lord increase your spiritual energy, so that you may never let him rest until he make you "a praise in the earth".
Yours faithfully in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 129
(To J. G.) Hertford, 20 August 1837.
Dear Friend,
I have been much comforted with your letter, and cannot but perceive that the Lord deals very graciously with you in an increase of divine knowledge and godly simplicity. It has been your mercy that the Lord has given you a teachable, tractable spirit, and though you may be despised of men for this very thing, yet the day will come when the secrets of all hearts shall be revealed, and that it is only of the mercy of God you were not led away from that simplicity to follow a multitude in an evil profession.
I cannot but bless God and admire his goodness and mercy in watching over Mrs. Oakley, and at length appearing and speaking upon her heart, by which it is sweetly manifest that eternal life is begun. Now then, seeing this is most assuredly established, and she dare not deny it, let me entreat her to cherish it most tenderly, and never cease, by secret prayer and much seeking the Lord in his Word, that he would maintain and increase this spiritual life. I know there will be no end of things that must be done, and Satan will insist upon their propriety in all directions; but she must not listen to all the lies he is ever injecting into our minds, to give us a disrelish for divine things, but remember that, thus says the Lord, "Be instant in season and out of season," and "Pray without ceasing;" and life will spring up and light to guide her steps, and she will perceive the truth of God's Word, "Him that honors me I will honor;" and again, "To him that orders his conversation aright will I show the salvation of God."
Be of good cheer, my dear friend Mrs. Oakley; you may depend upon it that he who has begun this good work will accomplish that of which he has so often and so sweetly given you kind intimations from time to time. Be not dismayed at your trials; they are compared to fire and water, but God tells us this is the straight road to the "wealthy place" (Psalm 66:12); and as our Lord Jesus Christ has passed through the whole of this, he knows all the miry places, marshy ground, pitfalls, and dangers of all sorts, and was in all points tempted as we are, every one, for the express purpose that he might be moved for us in all our calamities, and know how to support, both as to the time when, and the manner how. Fear not; the Lord delights in all such as hope in his mercy. Your difficulties and hindrances, your afflictions and burdens, are no hindrances to the Lord. "He gives more grace."
I pray you to remember me to E. P., and tell him that if he maintains his standing it will be against ten thousand enemies, and that he must learn to "endure hardness as a good soldier". He will be both threatened and allured by his master as well as by his old comrades; he must turn a deaf ear to both, and earnestly entreat the Lord to help him. He will often be ready to give way, as I have often feared for myself, but in these cries the Lord has appeared and given me fresh courage, and assured my heart that he will never leave me nor forsake me; so he will find it: sometimes he will fear the enemy has quite got the mastery over him, and in this sorrow he will perceive a crying to the Lord under all, and this is the place where the Lord steps in, and makes us to feel that he has a regard unto us, and will defeat our enemies; and instead of being clean carried away, fresh life is communicated, fresh vigor added, and there is a sweet perception that the Lord is our strength, and is also become our salvation. This will brighten his views, and will be a comfort to the little few that are watching over one another, and you will be jointly encouraged to see the work of God go on in the midst of an enemy's country.
The communion of saints is what I wish much to impress on your minds, that each of you may learn by it to bear one another's burdens, and so to fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2). Your sister will, by such communication, learn a purer language, and be led to consider, with fear and trembling, that whether the vessel be mean or not, yet the treasure in it is infinite; and therefore, when addressing herself to such, it is as in the presence of God, whether she be instructing or receiving instruction. This ought to put an awe upon our spirits, while we are acting as lively stones in this spiritual house.
Remember me kindly to Sukey Harley. I can enter into some of her feelings in her affliction, and I have no doubt the Holy Spirit, who darted such convictions into her heart, made her greatly to fear and tremble, and turned all her loveliness into corruption. Is it not marvelous that a poor creature like her, living in a wood, in that corner alone, should be the object of God's care, and that by his grace she should be able to describe the work of salvation upon her own heart, and that her description should exactly agree with the testimony of living saints, and of those that are gone before, and above all with the Word of God? She may well say with David, "Who am I, O Lord God, or what is my house," that I should be dealt with after this manner? The loss she has sustained I hope will not be long mourned after; perhaps her covetous heart was too much set upon that which has been taken away, and a calculating spirit had contrived many things that God was not well pleased with. Has she been able to confess this, and with her mouth in the dust to feel that true and righteous are his judgments? and by it have there been discovered some fresh corners hitherto hidden of her treacherous heart? If so, God be praised for taking such pains. Pray let him have his way, and do not cry after toys and idols, but rather cry that your sin and folly procures such measures; and then, when submission is wrought, all shall be well.
You will be glad to hear that your brother is made useful here, and I trust above all things he seeks for himself the lowest place, by which means the Lord exalts and honors him, and instructs him in the work he has for him to do.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 130
(To Mrs. H.) Hertford, 30 August 1837.
Dear Mrs. H.,
I feel anxious to hear of your welfare, and peculiarly so now, seeing it has pleased God to lay his hand upon Mr. H, which in a measure unfolds the wisdom of God in impressing your mind with divine truths at such a time as this. When the Lord began to work upon my heart he met me in all directions to stop my course in the world, and by his long continued and varied dispensations brought me down to hope there might be mercy for me. We for a long time think we can do many things and help ourselves in many ways, until the Lord is pleased to put a blow upon this contrivance and that, to mar this speculation and that, and to bring our fair prospects to the ground; and it is well if the Lord condescends to give us grace, in this humiliating posture, to put our mouths in the dust, and continues that grace that we may keep them there.
Your present affliction looks as if the Lord were determined to work for you, and make a way for your becoming a partaker of the privileges and immunities peculiarly belonging to his spiritual city. A wise man would rejoice that your heart is turned from those foolish ways you once lived in, and would manifest a delight that there is a prospect of his children being brought up in the fear of God, with prudence, integrity, and economy. These are accomplishments but little known in the present day, but the Lord will make his people not to forget the necessity of this course. If it please God to enlighten you with the light of life, it will make you most tender in all the various movements of your life, and you will perceive and soon learn to understand when the Lord is pleased and when he frowns. A tender regard and attention to that point will bring in much fellowship with the Lord, which as yet you have but little knowledge of.
I am exceedingly anxious that the little light you have, may, by the blessing of God, discover your real dangerous condition, under sentence of death by the law of God, and that there can be no reprieve, no help, no remedy, but in the Spirit's application of the blood of sprinkling to your conscience. This will bring light and understanding along with it, and further discover to you that in Christ the sentence of death is removed, and life and immortality brought to light in your soul in its stead. This will make you a good Christian, a good and obedient wife, a good and tender mother, and a useful and ornamental member of society. A profession of religion without this is exactly the contrary; many sit down contented with nothing better than the shell; they have the honor that comes from men, but not the honor that God gives to his people. May the Lord communicate to you a wise and understanding heart to walk according to his pleasure in that very important post in which he has placed you.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 131
(To Mrs. H.) Hertford, 5 September 1837.
Dear Mrs. H.,
I have been pondering upon various things that have come within my observation, and cannot help remarking that there is a necessity laid upon all that fear God, or manifest the early budding of reverence, not to seek to contrive after the wisdom of the flesh, to appease the displeasure of those about them. The weapons of our spiritual warfare must not be carnal; all such weapons would, in the end, be found to be weak, nay, rather to strengthen the measures taken against us, and enfeeble our hands in our intended purposes.
If God puts his hand upon us, our persons, our prospects, our family, and if, like Job, we find the messengers come very quickly, one after another, our mercy is to fall before him, and if possible to seek to understand what his purposes are, and to stand in awe of his judgments, and to consider that we cannot trace his footsteps. Therefore if he threatens our prospects, let the fear of God early lead us by all means and in all directions to stay our hands, and curtail ourselves by refraining from all vanities that we have been accustomed to. No head of a family that has either natural wisdom or integrity can complain of this; but I say the fear of God should lead us to it, though it may be against the inclination of all about us. Even a discerning and watching world will and must acknowledge the outward prudence of such a step. The same fear of God will remove all profane visitors, let the consequence be what it may; the time which used to be thus idly lost will be spent in redeeming that which has been lost, and in training up a young family in all useful knowledge to be good members of society, as well as to understand in their measure the Word of God.
If the Lord has purposes of mercy he will bring us low; and let us seek by whatever fleshly means we please to ward off our difficulties, we shall perceive eventually that we only increase them by such foolish measures. It is a great mercy to find courage to show our colors, and not to be ashamed of the cross of Christ. Communication with the people of God is a source of the growth of this courage, and will always lead the poor tried soul to press after the Lord Jesus Christ for help; and though oppressed and brought low and exceedingly despised, the Lord in due time turns the captivity, and then in our turn we rejoice in him, and admire his way of saving us. We perceive that nothing has been hurt or wounded but our pride, and this can well be dispensed with; and we find our weakness, misery, and ignorance, when brought before the Lord, is no hindrance, but rather excites his compassion; and we hear, "Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with loving-kindness have I drawn you," even through all these miry places, and set your feet upon the Rock.
If these things be disregarded, and not laid deeply to heart, and if ten thousand excuses be made, let us take heed lest our building prove "hay, straw, and stubble", which will certainly be burnt up in the day of trial, and we be gathered among light and foolish professors, who will build us up with "untempered mortar". Such always end in hatred and enmity to those that fear God and have manifested a great spiritual anxiety for the salvation of their souls. "See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise," for "the days are evil," and seek to understand "what the will of the Lord is" (Ephesians 5:15-17).
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 132
(To one whose conduct was inconsistent) London, 10 October 1837.
Dear ,
I have read carefully your account, and perceive you have set forth many things that are well worth our mutual attention.
That part wherein you write, "I did not find the fruits and effects equal to the power," shows the chief source of your unhappiness and difficulties. It appears that your deep convictions and heart-searchings had not their due effect. Hence the sad things which have followed in your life and walk. "Hear, O my people, and I will testify unto you; O Israel, if you will hearken unto me. There shall no strange God be in you, neither shall you worship any strange God." But God's people would not hearken, so he gave them up to their own lusts; and they walked not in his counsel, but in their own (Psalm 81:8-16). And we easily see the effect of this; God turns all their counsel into foolishness. It is evident that your want of attention, and your not cherishing the good things you have had, and revering the sweet presence and power of God, is the cause of the dreadful perplexities in which you have been continually entangled. "Your goodness is as a morning cloud, and like the early dew it passes away." The Lord has hewed you by the prophets. He has desired fruits, not sacrifice; but you have dealt very treacherously (Hosea 6:4-7).
You write that these words were applied to your conscience: "Her sins, which are many, are forgiven." But I think you ought to consider the whole scope of that account (Luke 7:37-50) and of the character of Mary, and see whether she returned continually to folly, as you confess you have done. Herein you differ from her.
These words you also claim: "Fear not, little flock." But let me ask you, if this little flock walk more like goats than sheep, will there not be room for fear? This is the part you seem to overlook.
You then mention something which is absolutely necessary to be done, namely, asking for the teaching of the Holy Spirit. But can it be a right honest asking, if we walk counter to the good counsel given by the minister and the elders of the church? What you say is true in part, "He who confesses his sins", but I add, he manifests his spiritual integrity when he forsakes them; and then only "finds mercy". The forsaking part you forget.
My dear friend, your unbelieving fears and doubts, as you write, are excited by your heart departing from the Lord, and returning so quickly to the old place. May the Lord give you help and grace "to leap over a wall" which is too high for flesh and blood. Let me entreat you to turn to Jeremiah, and join with him and me, "O that my head were waters, and mine eyes a fountain of tears, that I might weep day and night for the slain of the daughter of my people!" and make my escape from the evil within; for we "proceed from evil to evil". Our tongues have been as arrows shot forth, speaking deceit; our hearts lie in wait to trip up our neighbor. "Shall I not visit them for these things? says the Lord; shall not my soul be avenged on such a nation as this?" (Jeremiah 9:1-9:Yes, truly; I believe it because I have found it so to my shame and sorrow; and I know that he will make us remember "the wormwood and the gall", and by repeated afflictions and furnace-work will keep us in remembrance and humble our souls. In this painful path I have often waded, and have found some of the severest things overtake and surprise me; yet the Lord did not utterly forsake me.
May the Lord give you a tender spirit of watchfulness, that you may not so grieve the Holy Sprit as to cause him to remove your candlestick (as it is called) out of your heart, and that for being a reproach in many things, and you not to find him any more to your dying day. Such things have been seen and suffered, as a warning to others.
Your faithful and affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 133
London, 27 October 1837.
To the little hill of Zion, at Pulverbach, M. and J. G., Mrs. Oakley, Sukey Harley, E. P., with all others whose names are written in the book of life.
There is no end of cautions and admonitions in the Word of God, and it denotes sad darkness and confusion of mind not to lay them to heart. The eighth chapter of Zechariah begins with God's jealousy against Jerusalem, and his fury poured forth for many evils, some of which are pointed out in the chapter before, such as making a profession, bearing the name of spiritual life, yet walking under the influence of spiritual death, going through all the outward ceremonies of religion with the heart not changed, not taking heed to the counsel given, but always falling into some fresh matter to damp the spiritual ardor which now and then appears. These repeated charges not being attended to, God lays his heavy hand upon the people, and says, Now they shall call, and he will not hear, for they set their heart against all the counsel he gave them; therefore he will scatter them, unhinge them, unsettle them; they shall seek but not find, until he shall have laid their spiritual land waste. Then the Lord will remember his covenant with Abraham, and will return to Zion, and it shall be called "a city of truth". The Lord will save his people, and "they shall dwell in the midst of Jerusalem", the church of God, and they shall be his people and he will be their God "in truth and in righteousness". "Let your hands be strong, you that hear these words," says the Lord of Hosts.
If God has impressed your hearts with these things be sober and watchful, and very minute in your attention to what the Spirit whispers within. He will all the day long be teaching you one lesson or another. Let no legal pretensions present themselves to keep you out; this will cause the Spirit to depart. Beg to be kept as little children. Let no idle visitor intrude into your houses; let your words be few, and your petitions unceasing.
Call to mind, Mrs. Oakley, that before these days you had no rest, going out or coming in, because of the continual hand of God upon you one way or another; for whatever you touched it seemed to turn to bane, and every hand seemed turned against you. But now you, in a measure, see a promised change. This afflicted vine shall now "give her fruit", which until now always appeared untimely. "The ground shall give her increase" after this long desolation, and "the heavens shall give their dew," and my people shall possess these things. It shall be that as my people were a curse, "so I will save you and you shall be a blessing. Fear not, but let your hands be strong; for thus says the Lord of Hosts, As I thought to punish you, so again have I thought in these days to do well unto Jerusalem and to the house of Judah: fear you not" (Zechariah 8:10-15).
This chapter finishes with many cautions and warnings that you and I have continued need of; especially let godly simplicity and transparency be seen, and no more of that native duplicity that is so abundant in us all; let truth, peace, and judgment now be seen in our gates. At last it sets forth indirectly the unity of the Spirit, and then shows the sweet effects of the communion of saints (vs. 16-23).
May the Lord give you all power to see eye to eye with me in these things, which I have been scarcely able to write for the sweetness and power I felt. May you press on in this unity. I am persuaded that in the exercise of these things will be found the increase of fruit spoken of in this letter.
I am, dear friends, your willing servant in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 134
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 3 November 1837.
My dear Friend,
I have been made deeply to feel the various cases in your little church, and the various circumstances under which they lie. When I first went down in the beginning of last summer, there was an evident sleep pervaded the whole, and the case of — secretly grieved me to the heart; for I found her a source of stumbling to the weak, instead of an old soldier enduring hardness. The evident confidence she felt was not at the time attended with a broken heart, and she had need again to learn the first principles of the oracles of God.
If you ask me to account for this, I know of no reason, except that the pastor had folded his hands, and had not sufficiently cried in secret on behalf of his little flock. There is a deep necessity of having our message warm from the Lord, like the showbread. To receive it thus from him is a wonderful means of being abstracted from all worldly objects; and this is the best condition in which we can stand between the living and the dead. The credentials being thus sealed home upon our hearts, we shall be at a point in declaring them to the people. "Strait is the gate and narrow is the way that leads unto life, and few there be that find it." You have professedly made an open declaration of this; and if you thus proclaim that many are wrong, how careful you ought to be in testifying what is truth! Paul well says to Timothy, "Give yourself wholly" to these things, "that your profiting may appear to all." I perceive that some are brought to the birth, but for the want of a skillful midwife they cannot bring forth. I have heard you describe the pains of this spiritual labor in a measure, but I am anxious that you may, from a rich experience, be able to set before the people "the place of the breaking forth of children" (Hosea 13:13), and to manifest a clear prevalence with God there. This gives a sweet savor to what you advance, and enters the hearts and consciences of those that hear. It shows to them that this spiritual life is not all labor and toil, but that there is a sweet rest; and this must be continually pressed home upon their consciences.
Spiritual watchfulness and diligence are indispensable when God has given the charge; and the Lord Jesus Christ perpetually cautions his disciples to this purpose. Your people will never be clear if you are short in your spiritual tokens. "We have the mind of Christ," if so be that we know anything aright. "We have received the Spirit that is of God, that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God," and these we are to distribute to an afflicted people; that which we speak the Holy Spirit teaches, for "the natural man cannot understand the things of the Spirit of God" (1 Corinthians 2).
If all this be true, what manner of men ought we to be with such a charge! "Study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." Nothing can preserve you from error but a repeated sense of the heart's being sprinkled from an evil conscience. The blood of Christ cleanses from all sin; but not your sin, if not applied personally by the Holy Spirit. This makes clear the new birth, the adoption, the sonship, the heirship. All religion short of this will prove no better than the white of an egg.
I have been greatly exercised since my return. I long after your spiritual prosperity.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 135
(To M. and J. G.) London, January 1837.
My dear Friends,
I have been thinking a good deal about young P., and sometimes wonder what the nature of that work was which appeared so genuine upon his heart, and the simplicity that continued for some time. I am truly sorry to hear that he has fallen among thieves, as I am sure they will strip him of his simplicity and rob him of all his tenderness and the measure of hope he had, and leave him dead in soul. Poor man, he is not aware of the danger to which he has exposed himself, nor will he find it out until his feet are so entangled that he will not be able to make his escape. I think one of the greatest mercies God bestows is to give us a distinct apprehension of the difference between the dead professing church and the church of God, which is not discernible by the natural man. This especial error appeared even in the apostles' days, and spread itself far and wide in the first century: "having a form of godliness, but denying (absolutely denying) the power". From such we are told to turn away (2 Timothy 3:5). But carnal reason shows so many plausible excuses, and makes us believe that it is a sad thing not to attend worship, and thus without making God our wisdom, we at once turn to fables. If the poor man has really known the right thing, then I am sure he has laid the foundation for much sorrow, and the light and teaching of the Spirit will now and then come with such deep conviction and sorrow as he has never known before; he will feel much darkness and confusion, and not know when good comes, nor how to get out of his misery; and here he may be left many years to rue his folly.
I was glad to hear of you both, and will again explain what was my meaning respecting your manner of writing. I perfectly understood the first part wherein you described the sensible wrath and displeasure of God in a broken law; and that though this was so fearful, yet it was not without hope. It is well described by Jeremiah (chapter 4:23, etc.): "I beheld the earth, and, lo, it was without form and void" (that is, it was a desolate waste wilderness, descriptive of the heart of man); "and the heavens, and they had no light" (that is, there was no access to God, but we were sensibly afar off by wicked works). "I beheld the mountains, and, lo, they trembled" (all the presumptuous confidence in which we walk, before God shines into the heart, now gives way) "and the hills moved lightly" (all difficulties and hindrances become light when God begins to work). "I beheld, and, lo, there was no man, and all the birds of the heavens were fled"; now the scene begins to open and change, and a ray of light darts into the soul, and shows us that all refuge will fail, and no man will care for our souls; and makes all cheerfulness and the natural vivacity which men possess to vanish. "I beheld, and, lo, the fruitful place was a wilderness, and all the cities thereof were broken down at the presence of the Lord, and by his fierce anger." All carnal means of pleasing God (such as Sunday Schools, Bible Meetings, organs, singing, and many other things by which we have sought to obtain the favor of God) prove a wilderness; every refuge of lies gives way here, however well we may attempt to defend ourselves; nothing can stand when "he searches the inmost parts of the belly". Then follows what you meant to describe: "For thus has the Lord said, The whole land shall be desolate; yet will I not make a full end."
But you justly observe that though this is encouraging, yet it is not all you want; and you say truly, for as soon as these dreadful meditations are over, you need a little more spiritual simplicity, for you lose the power both of describing the past, as well as that you are looking to obtain. My dear friends, when you wish to set forth your experience of these things, be sure to pen it down at the time you are under the exercise; and if you then put it aside and return to look at it a few weeks after, you will be surprised to see the simplicity and clearness of your tale.
In all that I have said there is a caution to us both, which is, that this trying hour will come upon us, and we shall lose our comfort, and not be able fully to hold fast our hope; there will be a discovery of the evils of our hearts and of God's holiness, which will bring us very low. The Lord asks, "What will you do"? (when you are thus spoiled). "Though you clothe yourself with crimson, though you deck yourself with ornaments of gold, though you rentest thy face with painting, in vain shall you make yourself fair; your lovers will despise you; they will seek your life." This is the picture of all the false pleas that a poor creature can make, and will, but in vain; and we must in the end cry, "Woe is me now!" But "Is there no balm in Gilead? Is there no Physician there? Why then is not the health of the daughter of my people recovered?" (Jeremiah 4:30, 31; and 8:22). If the Lord brings us to these places of darkness and difficulty, and shows us wherein we have exceeded, we know that such shall be brought further to understand his loving-kindness and tender mercy; and surely this same prophet sets before us strong grounds for its accomplishment: "If Heaven above can be measured, and the foundations of the earth searched out beneath, I will also cast off all the seed of Israel" (that are thus brought before me in judgment) "for all that they have done, says the Lord" (Jeremiah 31:37).
I do not like to close this letter without some account of myself. I was very comfortable about a two weeks since, and had a sweet hope abounding; but a treacherous backsliding heart caused the Lord to depart, and I felt his evident displeasure; no access in prayer, no sweet power in the Word, but all darkness and all reproof. I could but reproach myself exceedingly, until my hope seemed almost gone, and I began to think I should see his reconciled face no more in this world; at least Satan would have persuaded me so. I had short and transient views of his mercy, but so short that I felt as if these could be no tokens of the Lord's favor restored; but at length, while meditating on the Word, the Lord surprised me with his love in Christ Jesus so as fully to satisfy me. He again restored to me the light of his countenance and the love of his heart.
These words, in Jeremiah 12:14, were very sweet to me, and I found the Lord's usual power in them: "Thus says the Lord against all mine evil neighbors, that touch the inheritance which I have caused my people Israel to inherit, Behold, I will pluck them out of their land, and pluck out the house of Judah from among them." I went back to the 7th verse, and the Lord showed me the cause wherefore the "dearly beloved" of his soul was left in the hands of her enemies. The enemies there spoken of are the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life; when these attack us, and we fall into confusion and darkness, we must yet, if possible, remember that though this sad condition has befallen us, we are still the Lord's beloved, and must strive with all our spiritual might to maintain this spiritual position. My beloved! Encourage the thought that notwithstanding all you may feel, and all the charges laid to your conscience, still you are my beloved! Begin to reflect, What was that which I felt a day, a week, a month, or a year ago? Was it not a sweet token of God's love? Did I not get some answer to prayer? Did not one word counteract the despair I was in, and could I not then in some measure hope I was his beloved? And does he not say, "I the Lord change not"? Be assured, however low we may be cast down, the Lord will bring us up. The Lord suffers our evil neighbors (that body of sin within and a tempting devil) to torment and perplex us, that our pride may be brought down, and we be made more sensible of our slighted privileges, and learn to feel it a sore evil to grieve the Holy Spirit; nor shall we be recovered until power is given us to come with an honest confession, and to put our mouth in the dust.
Then verse 8: "Mine heritage is unto me as a lion in the forest; it cries out against me; therefore have I hated it." They have lost a tender conscience, and presumptuous claims upon God are made, and unpurged guilt is passed by and forgotten; humility is laid aside, and some word or other taken out of Scripture to vindicate a declining cause; or perhaps such a saying as this in a fleshly manner applied, Once in Christ, always in Christ. This is the bold lion that God hates, because there is no brokenness of spirit. Such will roar out, I cannot help my sins; faith is the gift of God, I cannot quicken myself. Thus they cry out against God; and though the Lord says that he hates them, yet they, as bold as a lion, will call themselves the beloved of God.
Verse 9: "Mine heritage is unto me as a speckled bird, the birds round about are against her. Come you, assemble all the beasts of the field; come to devour." Here are set forth the two natures. It is hard to believe we are the Lord's beloved, when these beasts of the field are suffered to devour; the corruptions of the heart make head, and darkness covers us; dead professors either counsel or condemn, and we have not a word to say; we dare not unite, we scarcely know why; we die to the world, though we feel dead to God; we find ourselves strangers and outcasts whom no man regards. The people of God stand aloof from our sore, and watch to see which way it will turn with us, so that we sit solitary, and cannot venture to say "I am my beloved's." Still, do not sit down and conclude the contrary; let the Lord be judge; "Mine heritage is unto me as a speckled bird."
Verses 10, 11: "Many pastors have destroyed my vineyard, they have trodden my portion under foot," etc. The world is full of pastors that destroy God's vineyard and make his pleasant portion desolate, by subtly training their hearers to rest upon the written Word without the application of the Holy Spirit, and saying that Jesus is very pitiful and tender and will show mercy, and not setting before the people that he will show them judgment as well as mercy, and that all who are saved shall certainly find that he will first turn them to destruction, and then show them that it was only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel that he was sent. These pastors will tell us that we are sinners, to be sure, and the greater sinners the better, for we have the more need of a Savior; but they neither tell us how the Savior is to be obtained, nor set before us the anger of God in a broken law; thus they make the heritage desolate, so that few are found who mourn to the Lord, nor do they lay to heart their fatal mistake.
Such of the children of God as are for a while caught in this snare will be made to feel what an evil and bitter thing it is to sin in this way against God; and though they have "sown wheat" (v. 13) that is, some honest prayers and some sorrowful confessions, yet they will find the Lord will resent their sins, that they may know and keep in remembrance the wormwood and the gall; and "the spoilers", even the devil and our corrupt hearts will be left to hinder our prayers, and no access will be readily found either in reading, hearing, or in conversing with the saints. All this the Lord suffers for the further humbling of our pride and independence; yet even here is set before us an open door, that when he has made them ashamed of themselves, he will take in hand those "evil neighbors" (our deceitful hearts and a tempting devil) and pluck them out of their hands, and have compassion upon them and bring them again to his heritage; and he will again be their beloved, and they shall be his.
Thus I have written what I found to be exceedingly sweet and encouraging, and hope you will all sooner or later be able to find you are the Lord's beloved, though a poor and an afflicted people.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 136
London, January 1838.
Dear Sukey Harley,
What an inexpressible mercy it would be for your husband to come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ in his old age. I know that old age brings on many infirmities; death naturally draws near; youth will hope for long life, but old age cannot; and with me this reflection often brings many fears, which nothing can quell but the secret and comforting presence of God's love to my soul in Christ Jesus.
Let me ask you, Charles, what do you know of these things? If you say that few and evil have been your days, and you feel it a truth, do you ever go and tell this to the Lord? For he only can mend them, and give you grace and understanding to come to Jesus Christ for mercy and pardon. If you mean to be happy, be much in prayer; and when you read, search for the Lord in his Word as for hid treasures, and you will be surprised how he will condescend to speak to you by it. Be not a stranger to the new birth. "You must be born again." This is the something that Sukey so long sought for before she could find, and yet did not seek in vain. Take heed, be of a teachable spirit, and be not wise in your own conceit; be very especially cautious not to lay a stumbling-block before each other's feet, for that would soon hinder your prayers. The fear of God will prove "a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death".
Do not lose sight of your sister; remember, Sukey, you have been long strangers in a strange land; watch over her and see what the Lord is doing, and whether you can help her with your prayers. She seems to be come to the birth, but not yet delivered. Show her the way to the Lord Jesus Christ. I think I hear you say, But how shall I show her? By telling her of the many years of fears and sorrows that you have had, and how the Lord made you to write vanity upon all created things; when you despaired of all things, and most of yourself, then the Lord Jesus came to your help and saved you.
Tell her to give him no rest, but to cry night and day, "for the Lord hears the poor, and despises not his prisoners". Tell her to watch if she ever gets answers to prayer; be sure to cherish such answers and magnify the Lord with thanksgiving for them, and this will please him better than any fleshly pretensions (Psalm 69:30-33).
Tell her to be cautious to whom she tells her tale. "All men have not faith," nor all that are in a profession; there are many false Christs, and her neighbors will cry, Lo here! and Lo there! and she will be deceived if she do not get wisdom from above. Let wisdom enter into your heart, then "discretion shall preserve you, understanding shall keep you, to deliver you from the strange woman" (that is, the false church); "even the stranger which flatters with her lips." There is much more danger here than perhaps your sister is aware of; tell her to be very tender and to receive instruction, or she will be betrayed. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding" (Proverbs 2:10-19, and 3:5).
This counsel will also suit your daughter; and if it should please the Lord further to open her understanding, tell her to lay to heart and cherish his teaching. Let not the vanities and cares of this world choke the word; for the last state of such a professor will be found worse than the first. She may perhaps now say like Hazael, "Is your servant a dog that he should do such things?" I hope not, but if she does, she will not be the first. I hope I may hear of better things, even things that accompany salvation, though I speak thus. But remember "strait is the gate that leads to life," and trifling professors will never find it. The profession of the day is easy, and all your neighbors and friends who go with the tide will, if possible, drag you along with them, and go you must, if the grace of God and his power made manifest in your weakness prevent not.
From your sincere friend in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 137
London, January 1838.
Dear Mrs. Oakley,
I have no doubt you find many difficulties in your way. I have a family of seven children constantly at home, and neither wisdom nor prudence (naturally) to manage them, but I perceive the Lord is all-sufficient, and often clears my way in answer to prayer. I fear what God says about the families that call not upon him, and therefore seek to warn and caution my family in all directions. I have often many fears and much anxiety respecting them, but hitherto the Lord has dealt very kindly with me; and I am sure if you are in the habit of watching, you will be surprised at the various turns which take place in your favor, even when you have feared beyond measure. "Your heart shall live that seek God." Continually seek and pray that spiritual life may be kept up in the soul, for this alone will enable you to bear up under all sorts of crosses. Keep your garments always white (Ecclesiastes 9:8); that is, never let sin pass unnoticed, unrepented of, unpurged; make a point to bear this upon your mind, and never cease to carry all your evils before the Lord Jesus Christ, until he take the burden from you and restore peace, and you again perceive that he looks kindly upon you. In six troubles he has appeared, and in seven he will not forsake you; this I know.
Your faithful friend in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 138
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 18 January 1838.
My dear Friend,
I have been greatly comforted and encouraged by your letter, and do sincerely sympathize with you in all your tribulations, knowing that without them you cannot be a pastor after God's own heart. How sad a thing it is to have a religion that knows nothing of communion with the Lord! How dead and sapless a church becomes that is without the continual changes incident to the poor and afflicted people of God! If you and I were left in darkness, and no distress on account of it, how soon we should lose sight of the truth!
All that is good will ever be found like so many links in one chain; conflicts, sorrows, fears, and dismay, with many cries, terminating in conquest, through the blood of the Lamb. "You now therefore have sorrow;" but "your sorrow shall be turned into joy." You will be brought oftentimes into lower places still than any you have hitherto known, for the express purpose of teaching the people the necessity of these humbling lessons, and their use. For self must come down, and the Lord Jesus Christ alone be exalted. All religion short of this is only fleshly, and will not endure the hour of temptation, which always comes when least expected or guarded against.
These humbling lessons keep us from presumption and boldness in the flesh, and teach us gentleness toward the tempted, considering ourselves as liable to the same. When we have attained to the power of the truth and the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, through much affliction this also makes us fearful of allowing anything contrary to the truth to be admitted; so tender are we made of the Word of God. A little error (as it may appear at the beginning) ends in complete separation from Jesus Christ, "the Way, the Truth, and the Life".
My heart's desire is that the Lord would discover to you more and more of the way of salvation, and that your little flock, together with your own soul, may be the chief object of your care, and that many prayers may be made to the Lord for wisdom and faithfulness. It is no small charge, if you have but two or three souls to instruct.
I should have found means to have written sooner, but I also have been in much darkness; yet the Lord has proved a light unto me, and I have not been utterly confounded. Jeremiah 14:sets forth my case. "Judah mourns, and the gates thereof languish." They came to the pits and found no water of life; they returned with their vessels empty, ashamed and confounded. The ground was chapped, and there was no rain to soften it. Yet even here I often called to mind his former loving-kindnesses, and acknowledged with many confessions my backslidings were many; and so were my pleadings. "O the hope of Israel, the Savior thereof in time of trouble, why should you be as a stranger in the land," so as for me almost to forget how long since the last visit; "and as a wayfaring man that turns aside to tarry for a night?" Though I found these pleadings by the power of God effectual, yet I also found much reproof. "They have not refrained their feet." Here, like Jacob, with many confessions and pleadings, I could not let the Lord go except he blessed me; and my eyes were opened to see his tender regard and watchful care set forth all through the Word, and this satisfied me of his great mercy. I am therefore constrained with much melting of heart to bless and praise the Lord Jesus Christ for his marvelous saving benefits.
Poor Mr. Draper is no more. His end was peace; very solid, like an old father in the church. With many kind wishes and prayers for you and Mrs. Gilpin, and the friends at large, I remain, my dear friend,
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 139
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 14 February 1838.
My dear Friend,
I often feel myself laden with your spiritual cares, and more incapacitated in my feelings to render you any essential service than I can express.
I perceive that we are called to war, that the enemy is powerful, and that there is no discharge in this war. My spirits often sink at what is before me; and the troubles of our church fill me with inconceivable fear. Sin, like an armed man, is hard to drive out of the conscience; and we never fail by all the human means possible to extenuate and palliate, and where we can do neither we strive, but only after the flesh, to make use of the way that the Lord has set before us in his Word. By all these means we gain no ground, complete no victory, but lose our courage in contending, and the enemy sensibly gains the ascendancy; and then universal charity and tenderness prevail where there ought to be reproof, a care for our own honor but not for God's, a compromising spirit, a confederacy, a shunning of the cross, an increase of darkness, distance, and confusion.
How much have I known of this, and how little have I gained by it but misery! and all for want of coming empty-handed to Christ, the Fountain of living waters, which refresh, and strengthen, and arm the soul for the contest, and give courage to worms to contend against all the powers of darkness. Being at a point in our own consciences by feeling the powerful efficacy of the blood of sprinkling, we are quite sure of its humbling effects, and of its absolute necessity, not only for our salvation hereafter, but for our tender walk here.
When the Holy Spirit discovers and applies a crucified Savior to our hearts, it is always attended with light, and we are at the time sure of the way we take. This is a fact, but I cannot reason upon it. I also know that this will create a great desire to be much with him whom our souls love, seeking him in season and out of season, and entreating him to guide us in everything we have to do that is difficult, either in the church or family. When he is in the heart, honored and cherished there, let us remember that we have a Special Pleader at hand, the King's Leading Counsel, in whose hands our cause is sure to prosper; only we must make full use of him while he is thus with us, and must tell him the worst of our cares and fears and sins, and hide nothing; whoever or whatever among the people fills us with sorrow, we must tell him all, and he will most marvelously unfold his mind and will towards us, in a way that is inconceivable, and what we know not nowhe will take some future opportunity of showing us; and we shall acknowledge his wisdom. He has many things in which he will instruct us, and if the trying circumstances and characters which alarm us were not placed before us, we should often want a word in season for such as are tried. Were there not an experience and knowledge of such characters, and were they not continued long before us, we should never see their windings and many crooks which by length of time are manifested.
All this time we are very little aware of the necessity the Lord has laid upon us of being "a savor of death" to such as are appointed thereunto, as well as "a savor of life" to the afflicted and broken-hearted repentant. How many among you have been and are discovering themselves, and making manifest that there is no fear of God before their eyes! This ought not to dishearten you, for God says, "If you will take forth the precious from the vile, you shall be as my mouth;" and most assuredly if you do this, you shall be as all the rest have been, "hated of all men" for this very reason. I find it so. "But he who endures," remember this word and its meaning, "he who endures to the end, the same shall be saved." Keep in mind the almighty power of God as set forth in every page of Holy Writ, and call to mind all former times of extremity. Has not the Lord hitherto been a very present help, a shelter from all past storms, a strong tower from your enemies? Then still trust in the covert of his wings. "Unto the upright there arises light in the darkness," though we know not how or when it will be.
Your very affectionate friend in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 140
(To Mrs. K.) London, February 1838.
Dear Mrs. K.,
I was glad to hear from you, and if the Lord shall enable me, I will endeavor to tell you what I think of myself when exercised as you describe.
First, the darkness you complain of does not so trouble you as to keep you from sloth, therefore it is not a very heavy burden: moreover, you say you abide in it; this is dangerous. It is said in Jeremiah 30 that the Lord "heard a voice of trembling, of fear and not of peace"; but he does not hear this from you, not much of it; I therefore do not wonder that you feel as if you had none of the Spirit. If you had the Spirit sensibly, you would not remain in the dark place you speak of.
The inward trouble you feel, I believe and always find with myself, is the lashing of a guilty conscience for our sluggish spirit, and for letting ourselves be more busied in the things of time and sense than in seeking to be saved. I find God is jealous, and resents this, and makes me to know that "by much slothfulness the building decays, and through idleness of the hands the house drop through" (Ecclesiastes 10:18). By such a spirit we lay ourselves in the way of temptation, and Satan has but little difficulty with those who are so often and so long at a distance from the Lord. I have felt my situation so fearful on these occasions as for some time to think myself past recovery; but that thought has been so sore and so terrible, that it has made me (while the painful fear lasted) cry out, "Search me, O God, and know my heart;" yet even there I feel the deceit of my heart, for when the Lord really begins his searching work, I flinch, and cry, Anything, Lord, but this; this is more than I can bear. But when brought to a real sense of my desperate condition, all these futile and idle excuses are lost in the fearful agony of my soul; I make no further bargains nor inquiries into the way and means that the Lord pleases to use, but am forced to come to a short cut, "God be merciful to me a sinner." Do you choose the way, and spare not for my much crying.
This is honest work, and all short of it will leave us loitering. The desire of such sluggish ones, Solomon says, obtains nothing, and its natural effect is always a slavish fear of death, for we are conscious we are but half-hearted in the things of God; everything is left in uncertainty, and we cannot see nor understand when good comes. No doubt the idol is self in some shape or other; and as we are indifferent in temporal things, as to the order and exactness of them, so spiritually we leave our soul's concerns without a purified conscience, and when thus left unclean nothing but confusion ensues.
Do you indeed seek most earnestly to obtain the mercy of God? If you do, I have no doubt but he will be as good as his word; but the heart is deceitful, and you do not know how many things take both the time and the attention which God claims in your conscience; or else you know it, but make no confession. The Scripture says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins." "He who covers his sins shall not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them, shall have mercy."
I believe the Lord has given you some intimation of his mercy, but there seem such hindrances at present that you may expect the rod to hasten your feet, and yet not more haste than good speed. I am firmly persuaded that if you give yourself wholly to these things, your profiting will appear.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 141
(To Mrs. K.) London, 13 April 1838.
Dear Mrs. K.,
I am truly glad to find the Lord has been pleased to rouse you out of your lethargy, and has not suffered you "to sleep the sleep of death". The arbor of this world is an enchanted place, and if you sleep there you will lose your evidences for your better inheritance. Hence it is said in the psalm you speak of, he "redeems your life from destruction." Spiritual life is included in this. But the means which the Lord uses are not always welcome to us. The fear of death and desponding thoughts are suffered to come upon us, to excite a cry from the heart; and in these sharp exercises we perceive, "He will not always chide, neither does he keep his anger forever." Instead of chiding, he renews our spiritual strength, so that we "mount up with wings as eagles"; and in this strength of the Lord we most gladly and with all our hearts acknowledge his judgments to be infinitely righteous, and always executed in behalf of that poor soul which is harassed with the various corruptions of his nature. The blow which he gives is at the old man of sin within, who is always crying, Spare. It is a mercy that he pays no regard to such cries, remembering that "we are dust", and can naturally feed upon nothing else.
That psalm (103) shows that they who trust in the Redeemer shall not be fruitless. The Lord puts his fear into our hearts, which always acts as a check to our carnal and worldly spirits; or we should soon go beyond bounds, and he would have only the very fag end of our hearts and affections, and of those times and seasons which rightly belong to him, and which to give to him is our high privilege, and profitable for this life as well as for that which is to come. And then he says his mercy is "from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him". This will enable you to bless the Lord, and not forget his saving benefits; and to say with David, "I will render praises unto you, for you have delivered my soul from death; will you not deliver my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of the living?"—not in a dead profession (Psalm 56:12, 13).
Look back, my dear friend, upon those times when you had no access to God, no spiritual energy; a sort of empty, vague, aching, restless spirit, and no heart to pray yourself out of it. I say, look back at this (and at no great distance too) and call to mind the fruits of such a mode of living. Was it not all darkness and confusion, and you could scarcely tell whether you knew anything aright or not, or whether you should ever know what the light of God's countenance meant? Is that the way you are to spend your days, and die in darkness? O no! Now that the Lord has most graciously opened the door, and invited you into the presence chamber, take heed, and sleep not, nor give slumber to your eyelids, until you enter there, and "find out a place for the Lord, an habitation for the mighty God of Jacob" (Psalm 132:4, 5).
Though this labor is said to be wrought by you, you must never forget that "it is God that works in you". This is a mystery you will soon understand, if God the Spirit lead you into all truth. God bless you. Farewell.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 142
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 18 April 1838.
My dear Friend,
It is said of Asher, "Let Asher be blessed with children, let him be acceptable to his brethren;" and then in order thereto it is added, "let him dip his foot in oil." I have been greatly comforted with these words, perceiving in them the necessity of continual confession and humiliation, attended with the application of the blood of sprinkling by the Holy Spirit to my wounded conscience. I perceive I am continually contracting fresh guilt in my walk, and an old experience will not heal these fresh wounds; hence the necessity of my dipping my foot in oil, as denoting a fresh anointing of the Holy Spirit. Without this I shall be fruitless, and without children; but these fresh visitations not only refresh and preserve my spirit, but make me acceptable to my brethren. Besides this, they give firmness to my steps; a holy confidence in the strength of the Lord, which is "made perfect in weakness". Thus "shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace", it is said "Your shoes shall be iron and brass;" but all this I continually find is proved in the furnace, and if the work were not of God, I should not be able to abide there. But it is added, "As your days, so shall your strength be" (Deuteronomy 33:24, 25).
These spiritual communications always fill my soul with holy awe. It is a great thing for God to visit a poor sinner, and for such an one to know that God speaks upon his heart. What manner of men ought we to be on this holy ground!
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 143
(To Mrs. T., formerly M. B.) Pulverbach, 8 July 1838.
My dear Cousin,
I had a pleasant refreshing journey, and found all things very comfortable. I have seen Sukey Harley, and hope to spend this day at her cottage in expounding the Word, and have been seeking the Lord that he would be with us and bless the meeting.
I have had many changes, and have at times been greatly encouraged and comforted. I am sure the Lord is with me. The enemy is very watchful, and especially seeks to betray me into something or other that would stop the fellowship between God and my soul, when I want his peculiar presence to help me; for nothing else gives savor to our proceedings, or light upon our steps. Go without his company long, and you will be sure to stumble. A religion without talking with the Lord by the way is sure to be attended with blunders sooner or later. He is the only true light of the world, therefore I say it becomes us, if we know or have any acquaintance with this light, to cherish it by manifesting a spirit of diligence. "What woman, having ten pieces of silver, if she lose one piece, does not light a candle, and sweep the house, and seek diligently until she find it?" How you and I often want this spiritual diligence, in consequence of which we walk in confusion, and are not aware of the dust we have contracted by reason of the darkness that Christ's absence has brought on.
A listless life of religion, without conflicts and conquests, is the life of a snail. No features of heavenly divinity stamped upon the soul; no grace of humility alive and in exercise; no sweet holy anointing, bringing us sensibly near to the Lord; no brokenness of heart under a sense of our inexpressible vileness, and the greatness of God's mercy to us in Christ Jesus; no understanding what it is spiritually to put our mouths in the dust; no self-loathing. Spiritual life, or the Spirit of God dwelling in us, will teach us humbly to cherish his presence, and to revere and honor him; and will lead us into the exercise of all these things, and to value them more than life itself.
My soul was filled with the sweet presence of the Lord last night; it was a Heaven upon earth. "Because of the savor of your good ointments your name is as ointment poured forth, therefore do the virgins love you" (Song 1:3). What the Savior did to the poor woman in the Gospel was of this nature, when he said, in the midst of the crowd, "Somebody has touched me, for I perceive that virtue is gone out of me" (Luke 8:43-46). May the Lord grant you and Mr. T. power daily thus to touch him, and not to have to count the days and weeks and months since this virtue was last received from the Savior. What need you have of this touch in your new capacity! Stale showbread will not do. An easy chimney corner is not conducive to those conflicts that end in conquests. My spirit at times argues in all manner of ways with the Lord to prove that ease in any way and cessation of war is lawful; but the cutting convictions of the Spirit in the dead of the night bring me to the bar of God, and then my iniquitous purposes are exposed in their true colors, and I utterly despair of self, and have nothing left but just a little power to cry and confess my ignorance, misery, and sin. Here comes an end of all hopes of ease in the flesh, and I am taught in a measure to endure hardness as a good soldier, and never to give up the contest until, by a touch of the Savior, I am made more than conqueror.
My difficulties in this place appear to me many, but the Lord is my stay. I only desire so to walk as to keep him in my company. I dread my foolishness grieving him and causing him to depart. I dare not walk long in the dark, especially under my present circumstances.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
P.S. I have been much pleased with my Sabbath at Sukey's. The Lord was with us; a sweet sense of his approbation comforted my heart; and many home truths were spoken through his grace.
Letter 144
(To Mrs. Jones) Pulverbach, 14 July 1838.
My dear Friend,
The Lord does nothing in vain, nor does he ever make any mistakes. You once told me there was a "need be" for these trials (1 Peter 1:6), but did you find out that need as it respects your long confinement? Have you not seen something of it in your continual proneness to backslide in heart, and the desolation you feel within, withering presently from the sweetest communications of his lovely presence? This is suffered to show you more of your deceitful heart than you have heretofore known; and that you may still see more and more that there is no fullness, satisfaction, or rest for you, but inasmuch as you are able to draw it from Christ Jesus. However kind he may have been, we sometimes forget, and lay down our arms, looking for a little respite from this war; it is then the enemy comes and entertains our minds with ten thousand baubles; but by and by our never failing Friend asks our consciences this question, When did you last talk or walk with me? This question fills us with fear and shame, and we begin to ponder our way and to see how treacherously we have departed from him; and now we perceive the need for the rod of affliction; for God is holy and jealous, and will have no rival in our affection. This work, under the mighty and wise management of our best Friend, the Lord Jesus Christ, turns to our good, and humbles us in the dust, and we become like Joseph's brethren; the cup is found in the sack's mouth, and we are greatly ashamed.
Now I come to what I can never account for, but have often wondered at with great astonishment, and covered my face in silence, while I have thus lain at his feet like a lost criminal, when he has pronounced such words as these: "For your shame you shall have double; and for confusion they shall rejoice in their portion: everlasting joy shall be unto them" (Isaiah 61:7).
May the Lord grant that this may be your portion, as I believe it will. You and I must give the Lord no rest. I am in the midst of trials and difficulties, but the Lord is with me and gives me peace in him. In the world you and I have been made to know there is nothing but tribulation; but the Savior kindly tells us, "Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world;" and he also tells us we shall be more than conquerors through him that has washed us in his own blood. This is my stay; for every day brings along with it something or other to show me that this fountain of evil within would drown me in perdition and destruction, were it not for the arm of the Lord made bare, in all directions, for my help against my pride and conceit and independence of God, and for the support and maintenance of that new man which the Holy Spirit has planted in my heart; and this blessed indwelling of the Spirit shows itself by that especial grace called godly fear, which starts at the slightest alarm given, and knows no other refuge than Christ Jesus. This is the way the vulture's eye, however keen, can never see, but it is more or less discovered to poor broken-hearted sinners that feel their lost estate.
May the Lord comfort you, and give you his sweet presence. Sukey Harley sends her love to all that love the Lord Jesus in sincerity and truth. I remain with great affection,
Your friend in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 145
(To Mrs. Jones) Pulverbach, 24 July 1838.
Dear Mrs. Jones,
Your letter has been a source of comfort and satisfaction to me, as I felt assured there was a need for that heaviness you labored under. Your mercy has been to have an ear to hear the admonition of the Lord, and that notwithstanding your backsliding heart you were not suffered to abide under that load of unbelief which bore down all your spiritual light and understanding. The Lord graciously said to you, "Do you believe on the Son of God?" Then why all this load and heaviness that you have carried so long? Is it not a folding of your hands to sleep? Why not arise and call upon your God, that you perish not? Do not you perceive that the kind caution only half awoke you, and therefore he suffered the enemy to come in like a flood; and that the admonition not being fully laid to heart, the chastening rod was sent? But you, by the mercy of God, were enabled to kiss it, and to stoop under it, and confess your treacherous dealing towards the best of friends.
It was your mercy that he caused you to pass under the rod (as Ezekiel says) and not to despise it or leave it unnoticed; for when you found grace to stoop under it, then the Lord revealed his covenant mercy to you in Christ Jesus, and all contention ceased, and unbelief, the worst of rebels, was purged out; and then, not until then, could you loathe yourself and repent in dust and ashes. Here it is that "light is sown for the righteous, and gladness for the upright in heart"; and this heavenly light diffuses itself in the Word, and everything we read now seems spoken in loving-kindness and tender mercy to us.
You know now what the Lord means by gathering "the waters of the sea together as an heap"; and laying up "the depth in storehouses". Therefore fear the Lord, for his eye "is upon them that fear him, and upon them that hope in his mercy"; (and never more forget what follows) "to deliver their soul from death, and to keep them alive in famine". You have lately suffered this famine; and if his eye had not been upon you, you could never have returned in the power of his Spirit. Therefore "our heart shall rejoice in him, because we have trusted in his holy name". Praise you the Lord (Psalm 33).
Yours very affectionately in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 146
(To James Bourne) Pulverbach, July 1838.
My dear young Friend,
It is a great thing to be made a sensible sinner, and to know for what the sentence of death has passed upon us; and that nothing but a revelation of Jesus Christ to our souls in all his saving benefits can remove this sentence. But do we think we attain to this by leaning to our own understanding, as thousands think and perish; or have we the secret and powerful testimony of the Spirit upon our consciences that we have come out of the world, and the spirit of it, leaning upon the Beloved? The difference is so spiritual, and so far beyond the natural understanding, that God says, "There is a way which seems right to a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death" (Proverbs 16:25).
The right way must be acknowledged to be a secret not known to the world, nor to all professors of religion; but the Lord says it is revealed to them that fear him. O how tender are such as fear him; how afraid to take part with any that do not understand this tender point! How hard is the conversation of those who do not possess this fear; how confident they are, and yet how evidently without any experience or saving knowledge! Such as possess this fear have always (more or less) some knowledge what truth is, and where it is; and are not unceasingly talking about its being here and there and everywhere; for the Lord the Spirit shows them in this fear that there are few that be saved, though many run in the heavenly race (Psalm 25:4-12).
You have many subtle enemies within that will argue and reason very wisely; and if your present religion be only in the flesh it will not be long before it comes to an end, and only because of the want of the fear of the Lord. You will find it an easy matter to be persuaded to go in a beaten path, which many have made smooth and even; it seems to be freer from crosses and difficulties, and is not stigmatized with bigotry and dogmatism, nor is it called narrow and limited; this is true; but the fear of the Lord will tremble at that beaten path, and call to mind what God says, "We must through much tribulation enter the kingdom."
Be not hasty; be much in prayer; take counsel of God; and remember, if you think you know anything of yourself you know nothing aright.
Yours most faithfully, James Bourne
Letter 147
(To Mrs. Oakley) Pulverbach, August 1838.
My dear Friend,
When I saw you on your sick bed, I was pleased to hear you say that your affliction had driven you to Christ for salvation. When I saw you after you were in a measure recovered, your language was changed. I think you said something of this sort, that your minister had been with you, and you believed he was a good man, but that he did not think all the work of religion upon the heart was of the Spirit, but that man must do a part. How can a good man be so totally divested of the first rudiments of the doctrines and oracles of God? The Lord tells us, "When he, the Spirit of truth is come, he will guide you into all truth" (John 16:13); but your minister thinks a part of this heavenly work is to be done by us. Indeed matters must be at a low ebb if we have not a clearer knowledge of the truth than this. Surely if spiritual energy had been felt it would have produced a brighter evidence. I perceive exceeding great darkness in many hereabouts, and I fear the cause is their believing and hearing every one that cries, Lo here! Salvation is a rare thing; a profession is a common thing; and some are easily persuaded that the strait and narrow way is bigotry.
You and I are not far from the end of our race. It is an awful thing to be brought to the bar of God in our dying moments, where no lies nor errors will stand, nor our saying we are good, or this or that man is good; but we must have the true, vital, regenerating power of God's grace upon our consciences, so that we may be at a point, and more than sure, that the Lord Jesus Christ has a favor towards us. May the Lord cause you to give him no rest until this takes place; then I am sure the light which this will bring along with it will show you the way you ought to take. The fear of man is often a great snare, and keeps us from boldly showing our colors, in consequence of which we spend our days in confusion of mind, and seldom have any of the sweet supporting presence of the Lord; but the Bible teaches us that the fear of man, as well as every other yoke, shall be destroyed because of the anointing of the Holy Spirit (Isaiah 10:24-27).
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 148
(To Mr. Yeomans) Pulverbach, 5 August 1838.
My dear Friend,
I know no greater mercy than that the Lord should speak to us by his Word, and unseal it so that it may be written upon our hearts, testifying of God's love to us in Christ Jesus. "All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: that the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works;" and also armed against the assaults of the enemy.
I was greatly surprised in reading in Numbers 7, the offerings made by the princes on the dedication of the altar after it was anointed; those types and shadows furnished me with sweet tokens of Christ's love. In the first instance I perceived that all we have and are (whatever value we may put upon our possessions, reputation, honors, health, or other things) must be offered before the Lord; but it was the turning point here that melted my heart, namely, all that is thus offered must be "full of fine flour mingled with oil". Lord, I said, what is this? Something replied, Flour is wheat bruised; and need you be told who is compared to the finest of the wheat, bruised for you, and thus becoming the Bread of eternal life? Only mind that in Christ, the hope of glory all your offerings are made. Then the mingling of the oil I saw and felt to be the holy anointing of the Spirit of God, to testify of the truth and reality of these things. Then follows the peace offering; Christ in the heart, testified by the Holy Spirit, brings in the peace of God which passes all understanding. Even while I write I feel the sweetness and power, nor can I tell what to say of these things, the Lord is so very precious to me, and I so vile and treacherous. You and I may add, "Unless your law had been my delights, I should then have perished in mine affliction;" and through it I get understanding, and by it you have taught me, and I find it sweeter to my taste spiritually than honey is to my mouth. It is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path (Psalm 119:92-105).
Many here are not aware that a half profession and mingling with all sorts is the sure way of darkness and confusion. O how evident it is that we cannot touch pitch without being defiled! Many hide themselves with saying they are poor creatures and know nothing, and can do nothing; yet if you watch their spirit they can do many things against the Word of the Lord, and make manifest much bitterness, with all their confidence in God's mercy. This is a very awful state, and there is but one remedy, "Such were some of you; but you are washed, but you are sanctified, but you are justified, in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God." This will effectually subdue our native enmity, and make us, like Manasseh, greatly to humble ourselves. He who is thus "joined to the Lord is one spirit". This is the union which exists between the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and his mystical members, the sweet and heavenly union which is so beautifully set forth in John 17.
It is astonishing what errors a benighted soul will admit and hold fast, and yet think to prosper. But "no lie is of the truth," and "all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns." When the Spirit of truth comes, he guides into all truth; and that glorifies Jesus Christ, who says, "These things have I spoken unto you, that in me you might have peace;" not darkness and confusion, the effect of ignorance and distance from God. In the world we find plenty of this, but be not disheartened by that, nor by lying preachers and professors; be of good cheer, and always keep in mind, "I have overcome the world;" and you shall overcome too, and be "more than conquerors" in him.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 149
(To Mr. Nunn) Pulverbach, 12 August 1838.
My dear Friend,
I can join full well in what you said respecting your feelings when Mr. G. left you. It was but Friday night I was very restless, and seemed brought to the bar of God. The fear of death and judgment took hold upon me, and my sins all seemed to stare me in the face, and the Lord was withdrawn. I feared I should be put to shame in the great day, and more especially because I have said so much to others. I think I am more attacked upon the subject of my writing and speaking to others than upon anything else, and yet my comforts and assurances flow in more by these channels than by any other; and I am often greatly surprised how the Lord does continually show his tokens of favor on these occasions. This morning Philippians 2:15 was very sweet to me, elucidated by Deuteronomy 32, where God says he separated the sons of Adam and set them bounds, and he himself took one part and called them his portion. On these last words I dwelt, and thought I proved by the Spirit that I was in that portion, and my soul was comforted. Such conquests make us to "shine as lights in the world", by the tender effects of the true essential fear of God. I cannot yet forget or leave the sweet consideration of being God's portion; if I look within, the sight tempts me to despair; but the Lord says he finds his people in a sad condition when he first takes them in hand, "in a desert land, and in the waste howling wilderness", but he condescends to instruct them, and to keep them as the apple of his eye. "As an eagle stirs up her nest, flutters over her young, spreads abroad her wings, takes them, bears them on her wings," so the Lord alone leads us by various sorts of discipline and furnace-work, that no strange God may be harbored. I find many strange gods within that would be reverenced, if the Lord did not keep me continually in a low place. It is my dire necessity that drives me to him for help; and if my sin causes him to hide his face I seem quite at a stand, without judgment, light, or understanding; and I fear the Lord will resent my folly to my dying hour. But his compassions have never failed; he surprises me with his mercies, and restores to me the joy of his salvation, and upholds me with his free Spirit; and this instructs me what to say in my readings, for I cannot help showing forth his praise, as you did when you returned that day in the power of the Spirit.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 150
(To Mr. Harvey) Pulverbach, 14 August 1838.
My dear Friend,
It grieves me to hear you are so unwell. I have many times in my sicknesses been ready to give up all my worldly concerns, and think myself past all service to anybody. I know that the enemy would have it so, if possible, to make me a reproach to the cause of God. It is surprising when I have obtained the Lord's presence, and have got under the light of his countenance, how ready I have felt to be active, and to do anything the Lord is pleased to set me to do. If I determine to do nothing because I cannot do what I formerly did, I lose the presence of God, and a withering takes place. I am often astonished how the enemy and our deceitful hearts combine to keep us by all means from the lively exercise of the gifts and mercies the Lord bestows upon us, and how soon we conclude what poor creatures we are, that can do nothing: and true; we can do nothing without him. Have you watched the state of your soul when you have concluded yourself perfectly unfit for employment? Do not you find that it is when barrenness comes on, and secret prayer becomes slack, and the spirits sink for want of a little wine of the kingdom? It is this that cheers me and fits me for all impossibilities, and carries me through all that is painful to the flesh. Had I not had some of this sweet refreshing from the presence of the Lord before I came here, I should have taken to my bed a sick man, and have given up all thoughts of doing anything; but I found I could do all things through Christ strengthening me, and bear evil report and good report, and labor with my hands to supply my need; and I perceive in this line of things spiritual life is maintained, and the purpose of God is unfolded.
It is said, in the song of Moses, that God separated the people, and fixed the bounds of that part which he called his portion. You and I must be very particular to find this out, that we are God's portion; and to show it by keeping the separation clear that he has made, and by being found in the bounds which he has fixed; exercised in all the various things the Lord has appointed to each of us, and neither giving up nor taking on anything at our pleasure. We have to watch God's dismissal of us, and also every reviving help that he gives us to fulfill our day and generation, according to his appointment.
I have found your conversation profitable, and I know the Lord has often spoken upon your heart; so be not disheartened at what is before you, but press hard after Christ, and you will want no good thing. Be of good cheer; Christ has overcome the world. We are hastening to the end, and had need be sober and watchful.
Your very sincere friend in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 151
(To Mrs. T.) Pulverbach, 25 August 1838.
Dear Cousin,
O what a day this has been! First, fears and dismay; then, some distant intimations of God's sweet favor in conversation with some of the people here; then some attacks from another quarter, and a letter bringing iniquity to light, and many causes why the Lord should send the rod; and withal much mourning and fearing lest there should be no token of a spiritual Sabbath tomorrow. But while thus bemoaning myself the Lord stepped in, and broke my heart with the sight of his beauty and goodness; and then, as is always the case on such occasions, I loathed myself and repented in dust and ashes, and could by no means resist the double power and efficacy of his sweet presence, namely, joy and repentance. They wrought such a wonderful admiration of his matchless and unbounded love, so unexpected, so undeserved, yet much needed, for I had almost given up all hopes of relief during my stay here; but now I can, with a holy confidence, declare to my poor friends here how dear a Savior I have found, and how near he is, if haply we "feel after him". So that I can now declare, "The Lord is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works. The Lord is near unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of them that fear him; he will also hear their cry, and will save them" (Psalm 145:17-19).
(Sunday.) I have had a very encouraging morning reading from the words, "How great is his goodness." If the Lord permit, I hope in the evening to speak from the following words: "How great is his beauty" (Zechariah 9:17). But how can I describe the loveliest of all matchless beauty, especially when he comes into my heart under the most reckless misery and despondency?
While speaking in the evening I came to these words: "When you did march through the wilderness, the earth shook, the heavens also dropped, at the presence of God." I remembered how terrible a thing I had felt it for the Lord to march up and down in my wilderness heart; and how when one thing and another, which had been carefully covered, was by this marching brought forward against me, I did indeed tremble and shake. I also well remembered it was then the Lord, in infinite mercy, fulfilled to me these words: "You, O God, did send a plentiful rain, whereby you did confirm your inheritance when it was weary." Thus did he prepare of his goodness for the poor, or I should have utterly sunk into despair (Psalm 68:7-10). I look back at those times with astonishment, and bless his holy Name, who has not left me to perish, but has led me to set forth the wonders of his grace to a few poor desponding souls here and there, who tell me it encourages them to press on, and never rest until they obtain the same deliverance. May the Lord bless you both.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 152
(To Mr, Yeomans) Pulverbach, 2 September 1838.
What, my dear friend, can be compared with communion with God through Christ, and the sweet teaching of the Spirit, that holy anointing which shall teach us all things? We know that this "is truth, and is no lie". All these waters of life come from the smitten Rock. "Behold, he smote the rock, that the waters gushed out, and the streams overflowed" (Psalm 78:20). O how sweet these words have been to me this day! How precious this makes the Lamb that was slain! It washes away sin, and removes the spirit of the world, and enlarges, expands, and comforts the contracted heart, and gives even me power to cast my troubles upon the Lord as a very present help, and fits me for all that he sends me to do. O how descriptive are these waters gushing out, of a soul sinking in self-despair, and surprised with the sudden visit of this heavenly Friend! How his comfort overflows, and how low it lays the soul in the dust!
I was again made sensible of this while setting forth the necessity of washing the hands and the feet, that we die not (Exodus 30:17-21). Nothing is more defiling, confusing and darkening than unwashed sins and unpurged guilt. What a withering it brings to the soul; and what death ensues! I also felt much sweetness in God's charge respecting the compound of bitter and sweet spices, to be made a holy ointment with oil, and the confection for a holy perfume (Exodus 30:22-38). Here I saw the necessity of sanctified affliction working godly fear, holy repentance unto life, submission, humiliation, and attention to what the apostle says to his son Timothy: "that your profiting may appear to all." The table and all the furniture of it were to be anointed with that holy oil, to set forth that all the appointments and ordinances of God must (if profitable) have the anointing of the Holy Spirit, denoting the sweet refreshing approbation and presence of God. I was greatly comforted with a sweet assurance of a portion in this. May the Lord make you and your family joint partakers of these heavenly benefits.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 153
(To part of his family) Pulverbach, 2 September 1838.
I have this day had a sweet token of God's approbation and presence, in being so divinely supported and comforted in taking leave of my poor little set of people here. The Lord has been with me through a host of difficulties. I dared not leave them sooner, and am now sure I have done right, by the sweet and powerful sense I have of the love of God in Christ.
I hope the Lord will protect you while I am away. I desire to move tenderly, and in obedience to his heavenly dictates. May he now further preserve me in the journey before me; and in due time bless you all with his life-giving power, and then your end will be happy.
So prays,
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 154
(To Mrs. T.) Hertford, 16 September 1838.
Dear Cousin,
My visit here is attended with continued self-abasement. I am kept in a very low place, but dare not say the Lord forgets me. He is a very present help, and my morning readings are comforting to me, and attended by many who are not expected.
Mrs. Gilpin has had a sweet discovery of God's love to her in Christ Jesus, and her tender fears are evidence that spiritual life is abundantly in her. It would do you good to hear her account from herself, and to see her spirit. Another friend also has had a sweet refreshing from the presence of the Lord, and I think some others are looking out of obscurity. I have scarcely seen —; I fear she is gradually getting into a place where she will be hard set to clear the work. O how I fear feigned humility and dissembled love! I know God will discover this wherever it is.
I have hard work to show my face here, because of the fearful sight I often have of my sinful nature, and the importance that is put upon what I say here. Yet I have been comforted this morning with these and the following words: "Be not you therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord . . . but be you partaker of the afflictions of the gospel," for therein will be found and understood "the power of God". The mystery of salvation is hid in Christ Jesus, but is made manifest when he brings life and immortality into the soul. This makes me a willing partaker of the sufferings, because I am persuaded he is able to keep me unto eternal life (2 Timothy 1:8-12). His strength, communicated to my soul by the Holy Spirit, is all my stay and support; I am not able to abide one moment without it, but with it I can bear all things.
This is what I recommend to you and Mr. T. It will bear you both up under the various changes that continually overtake you. We know not what a day may bring forth; and if we have not the spiritual habit of making the Lord our refuge, some sudden storm may upset us; but if Christ is our Ark, we shall certainly weather it.
I droop in spirit more than I can express, and would often run away from God, from myself, and from the eyes of all living; but the Lord will not have it so. I must stand the brunt, and face it out, to make manifest the power and efficacy of God's regenerating grace; and instead of finally sinking, I perceive, by every fresh humbling dispensation, he raises me higher in hope and humble confidence in him, and sets me lower in my own estimation. This is my path of tribulation; not all sorrow, not all casting down, but now and then exalted to a place far enough out of the reach of the enemy that puffs at me.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 155
(To Mrs. Oakley) London, 9 October 1838.
Dear Mrs. Oakley,
You have been much upon my mind since I saw you, and I desire to be a fellow-helper of your joy, and to hear that the Lord comforts you in all your afflictions. It has pleased God to put a worm to every gourd that you have planted, so that all things in this life wither, and it is a mercy to you that they afford no shade nor repose for your flesh. It appears to me that God has some better things in store for you, and will teach you that whom he loves he chastens, and scourges every son that he receives. This is hard to believe and understand; but as it pleases God to sanctify these afflictions by humbling our souls in the dust, and there showing us his loving-kindness under them, so shall we discern his wisdom in all his dispensations, and wonder at the pains he takes to bring us out of the world and the spirit of it, and to make us more in earnest to seek for a better inheritance. If your troubles work as mine have done and yet do, they lead you to daily communion with the Lord, and to be greatly troubled at the thought of grieving the Holy Spirit by lightness in thought, word, or deed; for if he condescend to give us his company, he will be honored and cherished; "Him that honors me I will honor;" and we never more honor him than when we lament and mourn his absence. This is true love; especially if we put our mouths in the dust for the causes of his hiding his face from us, which will easily be discovered if we are in the habit of watching what goes on within. This is walking in the Spirit; and if we thus walk, we shall not fulfill the desires of the flesh. The sweet influence of the fear of God will be as a sentinel at the door of our hearts to stop the entrance of folly, and if through the power of temptation it enter there, what struggling and restlessness will be found (where the conscience is kept tender) until Christ comes with his whip of small cords, and drives it out. This will be the continual warfare, and we must learn of the Lord how to be good soldiers, and endure hardness; for it is hard work (I find it so) to deny self in all its various branches.
There is nothing will grieve the Holy Spirit, nor cause him to depart, sooner than the giving of the right hand of fellowship to dead professors that rest in the letter, and know nothing of the exceeding sinfulness of sin, nor of his holiness, but are hardened in a presumptuous confidence. You and I know by the grace of God that the true evidence of a child of God is to fear always, and to tremble at his Word; for the Lord declares it is to such he will look: and you and I know that one look from the Lord Jesus Christ is worth more than ten thousand worlds, and assures our hearts of God's everlasting love to us in Christ Jesus.
Search daily for this Friend, as you would for hid treasures, and you will surely find him from time to time. His presence will compensate for all your bodily pain, family troubles, and worldly anxieties; and while it lasts you will be able to see all things in their right aspect, and that he can do you no wrong. Stick close to him; pursue him in his Word; do not mind any of his disciples crying, "Send her away, for she cries after us." Give him no rest; pray without ceasing; and you will find that he will say what he said to the poor woman of old: "Be it unto you even as you will;" and I am sure that under this influence you will leave all to his management, with all the heart, mind, and strength. Can your poor husband understand these things? If he can, tell him from me to seek the Lord incessantly.
From your affectionate friend in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 156
London, October 1838.
Dear Mrs. Morris,
It gave me pleasure to see you occasionally at my family worship while I was with you at Pulverbach; and also to perceive that you had for many years more or less felt the necessity of a spiritual work upon the heart. I believe I had a witness in your conscience that I spoke the truth, and described the work of God that must be found upon the sinner's heart if ever saved. I also perceived you were quite aware that all are not partakers of the Spirit who are in a profession, nor do all that are found in pulpits, professing to teach the truth, either know it themselves or preach it; and more than this, they often publicly and professedly hate those that can give a reason of their hope with meekness and fear. But, my dear friend, you must go still further if you are saved. Your understanding is in a measure enlightened, but you do not know what it is to be brought to God's bar and feel his wrath against you in a broken law. This brings a man down from all carnal hope, and binds him under the sentence of death, temporal, spiritual, and eternal. The authors of the church prayers knew something of it when they wrote, "tied and bound with the chain of our sins". This indeed will extort a bitter cry for mercy, and set aside all light, trifling religion. The soul in this condition will not wait to inquire who is pleased or displeased, but out of dire necessity, like a drowning man, will unceasingly cry; knowing that if Christ does not help him he is gone forever. It is my sincere desire that your religion may be of this sort; then you will know the solid comfort that it will afford in sickness and death, and you will understand what is meant by Christ being in you "the hope of glory" (Colossians 1:27).
Pray watch if the Lord ever answers any of your prayers, or ever did; and depend upon it, if you clear this point, you will be encouraged to hope that he will withhold no good thing from you.
Do not deceive yourself; it is most awful. Do you really want to know Christ with all his saving benefits? If you do, be not surprised if he comes in terrible majesty to shake that earthly mind of yours, but remember, "To this man will I look, even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and that trembles at my word." Do not sit down in an easy, sapless religion, like thousands about you. Death will destroy all such religion. Seek for that which will carry you through all your difficulties, and let me hear that you obtain this grace and grow in it.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 157
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 26 November 1838.
My dear Friend,
There seems a necessity laid upon me to reply to your letter forthwith. In my trouble I sympathized with Mrs. Gilpin, and thought more of her than anybody. I then felt the anguish of soul she felt; and I also felt the turning point, where the Lord in his sovereign mercy caused her to hope. I found it not a step between me and death; and I dare say she found it so too. Despair seemed close at my heels, and I thought, and was resolved in it, that even if I perished and went to destruction, it should be in crying to God. This is what I always insist upon; and here I found that the prayer of the destitute was heard, and I manifestly came to that destitute condition which God's Word speaks to. Here it was God broke the gates of brass, and bars of iron. I was made sensibly to feel that indeed, indeed, there was no help in me; and when the Lord came, I was more than surprised at his wonderful condescension and his wonderful manner of giving me the Spirit of grace and supplication, which encouraged me greatly, and brought me very near in hope.
As it respects yourself I also truly sympathize with you, nor can I believe that you will labor for nothing, or bring forth for trouble. You say truly, many here seek your spiritual welfare. It is by the painful things you describe that the Lord instructs his people; and, if messengers, makes them faithful in declaring what he shows them. Beg of him that you may be faithful in the ministry, "to declare unto Jacob his transgression, and to Israel his sin"; that the gate is strait, the way narrow; that the kingdom of Heaven suffers violence; but that the strength of the Lord shall be seen to be made perfect in every coming sinner's weakness.
I wish I could convey to you how ardently I desire that you may be partaker of my joy. My misery has been extreme, my case exceeding desperate; yet the Lord appeared when I least expected it. I thought he would never come more, that his mercy was "clean gone forever". But he showed me the need for all this heaviness and humbling, and told me that I should yet know still more of his compassion and favor. You see I do not know where to stop. H — is much better, and I believe the Lord is sweetly instructing her. By these terrible things in righteousness he answers us, and becomes our Savior.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 158
(To M. and J. G.) London, 30 November 1838.
My dear Friends,
When first I heard of my daughter's illness I was alarmed and sank in spirit; and when I arrived at home and saw how matters were, I felt the affliction would not be either small or of short continuance. I continued sinking in spirit some days, until I seemed to lose my own hope, and everything about me looked as if God meant to crush me and all my family; for I could get no sensible help nor find my prayers were heard. The nights were a terror to me, and the days were spent in most earnest and bitter cries and groans until I thought the Lord would hear me no more. One night in particular, about midnight, I felt as if I were on the brink of despair, without power to help myself from sinking forever into destruction; but I thought if I perished it should be in crying to the Lord; and then it was the Lord condescended to compose my mind, and caused a calm, which I had not felt for some days. But it was not until the following day that any words were presented to me; and then Isaiah 42:10-17 raised my soul again to hope in his mercy. "Sing unto the Lord a new song, and his praise from the end of the earth, you that go down to the sea, and all that is therein; the isles, and the inhabitants thereof. Let the wilderness and the cities thereof lift up their voice; the villages that Kedar (that is, sorrow) does inhabit. Let the inhabitants of the rock sing; let them shout from the top of the mountains." With this not only was my hope restored, but a spirit of grace and supplication was given, and the Lord again talked to me in the Word. Isaiah 54 became very sweet: "Fear not, for you shall not be ashamed, O you afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted! . . . In righteousness shall you be established; you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear; and from terror, for it shall not come near you;" and the last verse of the chapter sweetened the whole.
These things came with great power, but I soon lost sight of them through fear and anxiety, my daughter's affliction often appearing too desperate for carnal reason or the most sanguine fleshly hope to think it could end in anything but death. We twice sat up to see her end; yet the Lord not only overruled it, but comforted her at times with the sweetest consolation. The work of grace growing still more evident, and the Lord confirming the same now and then by a word upon my heart, greatly helped forward my hope, and encouraged me to trust in him. "For a small moment have I forsaken you, but with great mercies will I gather you. In a little wrath I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on you, says the Lord your Redeemer. For this is as the waters of Noah unto me, for as I have sworn that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth; so have I sworn that I would not be wroth with you, nor rebuke you."
All this greatly comforted and meekened my spirit, and kept me out of the spirit of the world. The Lord was very precious to me and endeared himself more to me than I can express. I think I never before felt to such a great degree the beauty, value, suitableness, and preciousness of a Savior; nor can I possibly express what I felt of his infinite condescension and love to me and mine. 2 Corinthians 4 was exceedingly precious. I could by faith "look at the things that are not seen" by the natural eye, and believe that the darkest dispensations, by God's all-wise management, would work effectual good; so that I could leave all in his hands, who works all things after the counsel of his own will. I found I was enabled to do this even when he hid his face, so deeply had he impressed my heart with a feeling sense of his infinite wisdom and especial kindness toward me and mine.
I was one day after this greatly cast down, but earnestly entreated the Lord to help me; and he was pleased to make known to me that he regarded my troubles, and would take them in hand, and plead my cause. This wrought great contrition and weeping before him, and then I told him many things; but especially I said, Lord, what shall be done with my afflicted and sick child? and these most sweet words broke my heart: I will comfort you on every side. I cannot describe the wonder I felt at these words, and the scrutiny I seemed to make about them with all reverence and tenderness; I thought them too much for such an one as myself; but surely the Lord owned them and confirmed them; and I have yet to hope and watch the final issue.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 159
(To Mr. W. Maydwell) London, 11 January 1839.
My dear Friend,
I have been under many changes since I took leave of you in the street; but though I have passed through fire and water, the Lord has made me taste of the happiness found in the wealthy place. These extremities bring us to a strict scrutiny, and if there be any spiritual integrity in us it will be found at such a time, and David's cry will then be forced from our hearts, "Search me, O God, and know my heart, try me and know my thoughts, and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." And again, "Rebuke me not in your wrath, neither chasten me in your hot displeasure. For your arrows stick fast in me, and your hand presseth me sore." "Forsake me not . . . make haste to help me." This is the way the Lord opens our ears to discipline, and when our souls are bowed down to the dust and we thirst for the living God, then in some way or other spiritual life is more clearly perceived, and we find power to pour out our souls before the Lord; upon which he presently appears, and the voice of joy is heard. How humbling is all this work, and how little it makes us to feel ourselves! How wise we see his dispensations! How light the vanities of the world appear, compared with this! How short time seems in the sweet prospect of that eternal weight of glory which is set before us, and of which we are at such a time in our measure partakers! Religion without these changes has not the fear of God for its foundation, nor the Word of God for its rule, nor the Spirit of God to testify of its reality.
I speak and write as I do because I am continually falling into trouble, as one wave succeeds another, but have always found the truth of God's Word, "Not one thing has failed of all the good things which the Lord your God spoke concerning you" (Joshua 23:14). No trouble has been too great for him. "Who are you, O great mountain? before Zerubbabel you shall become a plain." Nothing shall be impossible with God, and nothing has been so in my case. He has surprised and won my heart and affections so that I am by his grace together with him contending against that body of sin within, that seeks to mar and destroy the vineyard which God's right hand has planted. Afflictions, crosses, perplexities, and various inextricable providences daily occur, to keep me of necessity dependent upon him; and in the exercise of this he discovers himself in all the various characters that I can desire, and to the utter confusion of all my spiritual enemies. Oh! the discovery of these foul enemies casts me down almost to the gates of despair; but this unchangeable everlasting love of God is unsearchable, and the subject too great ever to get to the end of it.
I commend you with many prayers to the Lord Jesus Christ, that you may be a fellow partaker both of the sufferings and of the joy.
Yours in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 160
(To Mrs. Tims) London, 11 January 1839.
Dear Mrs. Tims,
I often think of the manner of my leaving your kind and hospitable residence, and ought to be ashamed that I have found no time to thank you before this. My exercises have been multiplied and changed into so many shapes and forms that I have scarcely had courage to visit any of the friends here; but I have been taught the meaning of the words, "For your shame you shall have double; and for confusion they shall rejoice in their portion." Out of these deep and low places it is that the Lord picks us up and exalts us to a place of safety; here we find the reality and stability of God's faithfulness and mercy to us in Christ Jesus. Out of these deep waters spring the brightest evidences as well as the deepest humiliation and self-abasement. When the Savior comes to us in these extremities, then it is we repent in dust and ashes, and find no place low enough to put ourselves in, and none high enough for the Savior. We can but weep it out, for the apostle tells us the truth, and says it is "joy unspeakable and full of glory".
The profession of the day is carried on with a light heart, and is as unsavory as the white of an egg. I have told all of you in my morning readings of the troubles and afflictions that await God's people, and my mournful message has seemed very discouraging to some; but we can only testify of such things as we have tasted and handled of the Word of life. I am continually falling into these difficult places, and shall I not show there is a need for them? I am sure I set forth the power and efficacy of God's grace in bringing me out; and how shall I sufficiently exalt him for this? Some, three parts asleep, will say, All do not go into such troubles; I answer, All do not get to Heaven that say, "Lord, Lord." The Lord tells us, "The kingdom of Heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force."
The fear of God is a rich treasure; how tender it shows itself of God's honor; with what spiritual obedience and reverence it delights in God's service; how watchful it makes us; when he frowns, how we stoop and put our mouths in the dust; and when he smiles, how we draw near and give him our best affections, and surrender all things into his hands, and how delighted we are to feel that he will condescend to be our Guardian and Guide. May the Lord increase this more and more in you as the day approaches, is the sincere desire of
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 161
(To W. B.) London, 17 April 1839.
My dear young Friend,
I cannot forget you, and the way in which we first became acquainted at Pulverbach. I am anxious to tell you of the unsettled state of my mind when first the Lord began to work upon me. I could give no reason why it should be so, nor settle myself by any means; I changed my purposes and accomplished nothing, until at length I was quite cast down, and felt myself an outcast whom no man regarded. Here I was led, before I knew the Lord for myself, to go in secret, and most earnestly cry to the Lord to direct my way and show me what it was his will I should do, that I might not appear as an idler in the world; and to my utter astonishment the Lord plainly pointed out the way I have followed these last forty years, and prospered me in it; and in this employment he called me by his grace to the saving and spiritual knowledge of himself. All my friends feared I should come to ruin, but God had different purposes for me; and in due time, though by very slow degrees, unfolded his manifold wisdom and mercy to me in Christ Jesus. Mine has been a path of great tribulation; my sin has made it so. My foolish back has called for many strokes, and the Lord has not spared for my much crying, but his compassions have never failed. Always in the time of extremity the Lord Jesus Christ has been a very present help.
Do you find your spirit in earnest prayer in secret? Prayer God appoints (as Hart says) to convey the blessings he designs to give; and I hope you will manifest, sooner or later, that he has given you a spirit of grace and supplication. Let me be allowed to give you a piece of advice. You are of such an age as is considered in the world, in some measure, equal not only to judge for yourself, but also to act for yourself, without being a burden to your father, who, being a clergyman, is not capable of properly settling you in active life. Therefore let your restless spirit unceasingly cry to God for all things temporal and spiritual; and let it be seen that God can give you that energy which shall determine your pursuits, and that you are in downright earnest to seek the blessing of God in them. If you are honest here, be assured you cannot seek in vain. He can fit you for anything, and lead you the right way to accomplish it; and if you watch his hand, you will see how wonderfully he will lead you and guide you; and if you be not as the horse too rash, or as the mule too stubborn, you will perceive his gracious eye upon you for good (Psalm 32:8, 9). The pillar of cloud will be your direction by day, and the pillar of fire your protection in the night of affliction and adversity. This I can well testify. He has never left nor forsaken me; and I still trust he will yet deliver.
I am, my dear friend, yours faithfully, James Bourne
Letter 162
(To Mrs. Oakley) London, May 1839.
Dear Mrs. Oakley,
How true it is that through Christ alone we are more than conquerors! You well know (by watching what goes on within) the power of our grand adversary; how he attacks our hopes, and seeks to sap the very foundation. He often almost makes us believe that the Lord has done nothing for us, and that all is a delusion; but our troubles rise so quickly, and the Spirit so helps our infirmities, that we cannot but cry mightily for mercy; and Jesus Christ steps in to our relief; our burden is gone, our fears assuaged, and the storm becomes a calm, so that we prove this enemy a liar. Sometimes he tells us that we walk in presumption, and find fault with everybody; and then sends some hypocritical professor to warn us of our danger, and tell us that we shut out the people of God and his faithful ministers, who show such feigned love; and these things are so plausibly brought before us that it is not possible to withstand their influence, unless the Spirit of truth guide us. There hardly seems an ear left to hear the secret cry of the Spirit within, causing us to tremble, and putting some such words as these into our hearts, O Lord, I am distracted and drawn in all directions, but I am afraid to grieve your Holy Spirit; let it please you to lead me in a plain path, and "let my sentence come forth from your presence."
It is in this way the Lord has led me through many difficult and painful paths, and has preserved my feet from the snare of the fowler. That trembling and weak dependence upon the Lord can never be put to shame nor confounded. It is only the fat and the strong that shall be destroyed. You will find by the papers that your friend will lend you that I have this winter waded through many deep waters, and that it has been only by the Lord Jesus Christ taking me by the hand that I was preserved from sinking, and brought to praise him. My religion, like yours, as well as my outward matters, are by no means mirthful. Full of troubles and conflicts, I must bear this testimony: I never yet fell into any difficulty or trouble but the Lord delivered me, and made me to praise him for his goodness and mercy; and I am quite sure that you will find the same.
Keep watching what the Lord continually speaks upon your heart, and beg for grace to understand and follow that. Pray for spiritual obedience, and listen not to any "Lo here" or "Lo there." Let the Spirit be your guide, not only in spiritual matters, but also in your temporal affairs; and remember that God is the Guardian of the poor and afflicted. You need no better friend. It is to his love I commend you; and I desire in return your prayers, that we both may in the great day of account be accounted worthy through the worthiness of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Yours very faithfully in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 163
(To J. G.) London, 7 July 1839.
My dear Friend,
I have long wished to write to you, but I have been so cast down that I have not been able to do anything to purpose. My fears and despondency have prevented my fellowship with others, and I knew not how I should show my face again. But the Lord, who is infinite in mercy now and then, softened my spirit, and for a few minutes revived my hope; and yesterday morning I felt a sweet influence come over my mind, with much awe and holy reverence before God. I was in secret, and said in my despondency, Surely this is the true essential fear of God; and immediately the Lord bore a sweet testimony to the truth of this, and added such a divine and comforting testimony of his everlasting favor, and that he would never leave me nor forsake me, that I could not but rejoice in this salvation. It was very sweet to me for a season; but the confusion and darkness of my mind gathered again, and I was greatly cast down, not knowing how far these things would eventually sap the foundation of my hope.
This morning (being Sunday) I was hearing our minister commenting on Luke 17:6: "If you had faith as a grain of mustard seed, you might say unto this Sycamore tree, Be you plucked up by the root, and be you planted in the sea; and it should obey you." The Lord the Spirit helped my infirmities, and I believed he had wrought this grain of genuine faith in my heart; and it immediately raised me up from all the fears and unbelief that I had labored under for some weeks. While the minister was setting forth the impossibility of the least ground that is gained in faith ever being lost, I believed it with all my heart; and many times circumstances and things recurred to my mind wherein I had most assuredly at the time believed with all my heart, which I now received as truly as if accomplished, with eternal life at the head as the sure issue. This gave me one of the sweetest and most lively testimonies of God's love to me in Christ Jesus that I have had for some years; it set my mind and heart free towards Pulverbach, and my spiritual affections went out in a most lively manner for the welfare of every one of you, and I longed to see you once more in the flesh, if I might, by the blessing of God, impart some fresh benefit to your souls. I must acknowledge that I am less than the least of you all, but the Lord chooses not by outward appearance. He can and often does make use of the meanest instruments. In consequence of all this I am now, by the will of God, and all things combining to bring it about, made willing and pleased to go; and I purpose seeing you in the course of ten days.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 164
(To Mr. Nunn) Stapleton, Shropshire, 21 July 1839.
My dear Friend,
We had, by the blessing of God, a favorable journey. Our friends were ready to receive us, and glad of our arrival. Poor Mr. Oakley (in whose house we lodge) is in a most distressing state; his faculties are very weak, but not so bad in that respect as I expected. He tells me he has been almost in despair for nearly two years together. 'O Sir, I am the vilest sinner that ever was on the earth; there can be no hope for such a sinner.' I asked, Do you pray for mercy? 'Yes, Sir, but I am too great a sinner to hope; there is none like me.' I said, The Lord came to save sinners, not the righteous; it was only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel that he was sent. He seemed to pause, and I asked him if he ever had hope. He replied, 'Now and then a little transient hope'; and then burst out crying, 'O that I could but be saved! There is nothing I want but mercy.' He is a farmer, seventy-three years of age. In conversation with his wife he said, 'I do think I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that he is the Lamb of God which takes away the sin of the world.' She said, Can you pray? He then prayed, 'O Lord, show me the light of your countenance, and your salvation.' After this there seemed a gleam of light upon his soul, and for a little while he saw the way, and Christ the living head directing him.
I never spent such a sixteen months as the last have been; the first six or seven in sweet assurances of the Lord's presence and help; the winter in one continued scene of changes, in the deepest despondency and fear, and now and then very comforting promises of help. Many terrible fears respecting my coming here, but some of the kindest assurances of the Lord's approbation and presence. Much of all this again quickly covered with clouds, so that I felt fears about acting upon what I had been assured came from the Lord. Yet I ventured, and am now sensible of the Lord's great mercy to me hitherto. All my desponding fears and misgiving apprehensions of danger the Lord has been pleased to remove; and he gives me sweet liberty in his Word in the family worship, so that I am satisfied the Lord is my Guardian and Counselor, and I hope my visit here may not be in vain to the people I converse with. Mrs. Oakley has just been telling me how profitable she has found our morning readings, and how she feels that it is the Lord who is instructing her by his servant.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 165
(To Mrs. T.) Stapleton, 1 August 1839.
Dear Cousin,
I cannot help beginning at once with a visit I had from Mrs. Oakley. She was too full to wait until I might go into her room. She had been upstairs to see Mr. Oakley, and found him in a very meek and peaceful spirit. He said, "Where is it in the Testament about the crumbs that fall from the Master's table, which Mr. Bourne spoke of to me?" She read it to him, and he then said, "I have such a hope that I shall have some of these crumbs; I have been pondering this ever since I heard it, and am much encouraged. I have been reading the Psalms, and Psalm 116 has been very sweet to me, and has made me so comfortable that I want you to stop, and let us talk these things over. I am a great sinner, and have been a devil to you, but these crumbs have made me very peaceful."
There is a great opposition to the truth in this place; but the Lord has said, "Hitherto shall you go, and no further; and here shall your proud waves be stayed." Plans of all sorts have been laid to frustrate our proceeding, but as yet they have not been suffered to do so.
I must acknowledge the goodness of God. He still preserves me in peace and hope, and all that terror and fear I lately suffered he has for the present been pleased to remove, which I never expected in this life. I look back upon the last twelve months' trouble with dread, for though the Lord condescended at times to comfort me greatly with sweet hope, yet the quick returning again to despondency was terrible, and I could not fathom the dispensation. I saw how far I was in trouble, but saw not how much further I might go, and to what extent he might lay his hand upon me. I was afraid of his judgments, for if he had dealt with me according to my sin, I should have been pursued to destruction; but these words were often a stay to me, and once came with great power; "As I have sworn that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth, so have I sworn that I would not be wroth with you, nor rebuke you."
What you allude to respecting Mr. —'s conflict, I believe is just to let him taste of the bitter cup. I think no evil of him, when I think he will yet have it sharper and longer. I believe with all my heart it will only be to give him brighter and clearer evidences of Christ's love to him. It is true all are not afflicted alike, nor dare I say he has not had many sore throes; yet surely when the Lord comes to show him all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge which are hid in Christ Jesus, this will open his heart and his mouth, and keep them open. For though the riches of Christ are unsearchable, and the height and depth and breadth and length of his love are far beyond our measuring, yet we do, through the fire and through the water, obtain a goodly portion; and the clusters of grapes that grow in this wealthy land refresh the soul so much, that we cannot but speak well of it. So may the Lord in mercy deal with us.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 166
(To Mr. James Abbott) Stapleton, 1 August 1839.
Dear Companion in the path of tribulation,
Since I have lately from time to time heard of your conflicts, you have been much in my heart and affections. I have scarcely found any that have been so long and so deeply involved in those despairing feelings with which I have been exercised through the last twelve months. The great goodness and mercy of God has been very conspicuous in visiting my soul with exceeding great promises; yet my returning so quickly into misery and fear has caused me to think at times there must have been some fatal mistake in my experience. I have often wondered at the forbearance of God, for I have felt anything but a trust in him. Fear, and sometimes terror, took hold upon me; but at times I saw the Psalmists were in like troubles: "Chasten me not in your hot displeasure." Many such sentences in the Word of God kept my heart crying to him. His Word was very precious to me, and I can say with truth that he sometimes visited my soul with some word, some hope, or some sweet meditation of his friendship towards me, not less than four or five times a day. These words were very comforting at one time, "For a small moment have I forsaken you, but with great mercies will I gather you . . . The mountains shall depart and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from you, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, says the Lord that has mercy on you." Notwithstanding these very sweet renewals of God's favors in Christ Jesus, I continually returned, like Abraham, to my old place, and the Lord left off communing with me. I found the ministry exceedingly profitable the greatest part of this period, and sometimes knew not where to hide myself because of the Lord's love and sweet presence. At these times you always gave out such hymns as exactly suited my case, so that the whole worship seemed on purpose for me.
I think I hear you ask, Are you any the worse for your troubles and exercises? O no! I have found out by God's grace that the prosperous poor and afflicted people of God must pass through much tribulation; and my heart trembles now, while I write, for I know not what is before me in order to cut down that vain conceit of knowledge and judgment, which is so rampant in us all.
In this path of tribulation we learn many things which we never properly understood before; this for one: "Considering yourself, lest you also be tempted." It makes us perceive that all wisdom does not dwell with us, and that there is a very hasty deciding upon cases where God never sets us to judge. There is also a great readiness to think we must be always talking, and to condemn the attentive listeners for not talking, though I have ever found, even in the most profitable talkers, that the greater part has been about nothing. The furnace makes us feel that we are very, very poor, and then by the mercy of God a few words from a tried saint sink deep; and we are glad to hear in silence what the Lord will say to us by another. Then something is drawn out of our hearts which seems so small that we hardly dare speak of it; and this is what God prospers and owns and honors; and one poor creature and another comes and says, I am thankful to God that you spoke, I am greatly comforted or encouraged; and you scarcely believe that such as you can be profitable, and therefore readily give God the glory.
Hence comes a sweet and divine unity; no boasting, no empty talking, no brawling; but the Holy Spirit bears witness to this sort of communion, and (like the disciples of old) our hearts burn within us, while we thus talk by the way. In this union, which the Spirit of God works in the heart, there is evidently also something further that is sweet and establishing to the soul; even the love of the Father shed abroad in our hearts, the love of Christ manifestly constraining us, and the love of the Spirit testifying of the same; and that with such clearness and sweetness that we perceive it is what the Lord speaks of in John 17: "That they all may be one; as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be one in us." What religion is worth having without this? Besides the Lord says that he will give us his glory, which the Father gave him, that we may be all one, as the Father, Son, and Spirit are one.
You and I must wait until we arrive at eternal glory before we can fully understand these unsearchable riches, to which we are born again. This is my hope; this is what my very soul is set upon; and when my evidences and title to this beautiful inheritance become beclouded, I fear and tremble, for I cannot bear the loss of such a rich treasure.
Remember me to all who love the Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity and truth.
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 167
(To the Rev. W. Maddy) Stapleton, 9 August 1839.
My dear Friend,
I must thank you most sincerely for your kind intelligence from time to time. I have been exceedingly comforted with my letters from London, and hope you will be able to get out of the bondage which has so long held you. I feel the bias of your legal spirit even in your earnest seeking to break forth into spiritual liberty. The moment you write what poor Mrs. Jones dictates, it is all laid aside, and you write a pure language. The liberty that we have in Christ Jesus is a wonderful, mysterious, and powerful thing. See how it supports her under all her severe trials! She feels that dying is a dark valley, but the spiritual liberty which she finds in Christ Jesus supports her, and removes her fear and dread. It is this liberty in Christ Jesus that counteracts despair in my soul, and causes hope to be as an anchor both sure and steadfast. I often say to myself in secret, All but gone; but here in this time of extremity the dear Lord Jesus whispers, "No more a servant, but a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ;" and a joint-heir with Christ. This is liberty indeed, and humbles the soul to the dust in self-abasement.
Lamenting the sad discovery of ten thousand evils which are more or less bringing a continual cloud over my mind, I found these words very sweet in my family reading this morning: "All our fathers were under the cloud, and all passed through the sea" (1 Corinthians 10:1-4). I replied in my mind, Then why should I complain and despair, seeing this is the way that all have gone before me? For surely I have eaten of "the same spiritual meat", and drunk of "the same spiritual drink", and that is Christ. We soon begin to think it strange if we fall into temptation, and forget there is a continual need for it, that our topsails may be lowered. I never should have chosen such a path of tribulation as I am generally walking in; my natural inclination would have been for something more easy and dignified. But I now believe with all my heart that there is a need for it; first, that I may be brought as a beggar to the Lord Jesus Christ (we hear of none else being in Abraham's bosom); and secondly, that I may know how more to prize this blessed Savior, who has brought me up out of such deep and desperate places. Hart says,
"Could we his person learn to prize,
We more should prize his grace."The Lord is determined we shall learn this lesson more or less; he therefore suffers us to fall into all sorts of difficulties, and sanctifies them, so that, like Paul in the shipwreck, all hope of being saved seems taken away. Then, my dear friend, what think you of Christ? O what inexpressible grace! As poor Frank said, when black despair was close at hand, then it was he "against hope believed in hope", and found Christ, the resurrection and the life. May you be able thus to prevail, and then you will know what true spiritual liberty means.
(August 11.) I have come with much fatigue to Sukey's today, and I write this at her house. The Lord has been very precious to me here, and Proverbs 3:1-20 has been most sweet; the power of the words "my son" was more than I ever felt; the endearing epithet quite broke my heart, and brought me into the sweet liberty I write about at the beginning. Under the power of this liberty I could trust to the Lord with all my heart, and not lean to my own understanding; and by this sweet and saving knowledge of Jesus Christ all depths of sorrow, hardness, and impenitency were broken up, and the clouds dropped down the dew. May the Lord grant you a portion of the same, and set your soul free in Christ.
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 168
(To Mrs. T.) Stapleton, 18 August 1839.
My dear Cousin,
I now feel the great importance of having to instruct others, because my own ignorance is so great. My difficulty in prevailing in prayer also keeps me from presumption. I am not without hope, but dare not ask for great things; every day convinces me of my extreme ignorance, and from my heart I am forced to acknowledge that I am the last and the least of all the Lord's people. When I returned home on Sunday after I had had the sweetest tokens of the Lord's presence and favor, I pondered the matter over and said, Was this indeed, Lord, spoken upon my heart for my encouragement, and may I receive it as a token of your kind approbation? Something came so sweetly again into my heart with these words, As a father chastens the son in whom he delights, so only does he chasten you. This was just as I was going to bed, and being alone I gave vent to my feelings in acknowledgment of his wonderful care, kindness, and mercy, to me. I was now satisfied that the Lord was with me. "My son!" It is no mean thing to be thus chastened, therefore do not grow weary; love is in every blow. How these things make me to ponder my way and wherefore I am brought here. I dare not say it is in vain, the Lord is so with me; yet I am more weak and miserable in myself than I can express, fearing and trembling and watching and praying; and when I feel close to an overthrow, then the Lord appears to comfort me. Also he comforts me by some intelligence of good received through so weak an instrument.
Mr. Oakley is at times all but in despair, and now and then he seems to catch at something to hope upon. He still remembers "the crumbs that fall from the Master's table" and hopes to get some; but last night and early this morning he seemed past all hope, until at last he said, "I see the Savior on the cross shedding his blood for me; I see his blood spilt for me; I have hope. I was in Hell last night, but the Savior tells me that his blood is sufficient for all my sins." Mrs. Oakley says that he never had such distinct hope, nor ever such deep despair, before I spoke to him, and that he has never since been so dreadfully outrageous; but his spirit is calm, and there seems a great change. He told me he had a soul to save, and then added, "for ever, and ever, and ever. O Sir, to go to Hell is very terrible!" I have been able to persuade him to attend our family reading these last two days. What all this means the Lord will show in due time. One says, "Satan must ask leave before he smites Job, or sifts Peter."
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 169
(To Mr. Nunn) Stapleton, September 1839.
My dear Friend,
I find many things combine to exercise my mind here, and it is no small difficulty to keep a continual sense of God's presence with me. Perhaps God is pleased to make use of these as a means of bringing me to himself, for with all my vain attempts I cannot do without him. I am often cast down and much laden with inexpressible fears and misgivings, having at times such discoveries of what is within that I cannot help thinking there are none like me. I think I could enter into your letter, and feel the difficulties with which you are surrounded.
You will see by the accounts I have sent that I cannot mold all to my pattern, nor can I frame a pattern by the Word of God that shall suit the precise case of every one. I perceive many things must be taken into consideration. First, "Take heed." This is loudly spoken upon my heart, "Let him that thinks he stands, take heed lest he fall;" therefore I am led to be very tender and serious, that I may not judge according to outward appearances, and that our pulling down weapons be not carnal, but mighty through God. The strongholds of Satan can be destroyed by God's power only, and not by my caprice. I may boast of the authority which God has given me; but if I do, I had need to take heed that I stretch not myself beyond my measure, for not he that commends himself is approved, but whom the Lord commends. This makes me to move with great fear and many prayers, and I trust the Lord having given me prudence has overruled all things for the mutual humbling of every one of us.
The poor people here find I am not come to trifle, but that both they and myself are accountable for both hearing and speaking; and our consciences I trust are kept alive, by the Lord's making us susceptible of the importance of the word spoken. As a wise author says, Have we no cause to fear? Have we no need of caution? The better your opinion of yourself is, the closer ought your search to be. For it is not said, Let him that made a slip take heed; but, "Let him that thinks he stands take heed, lest he fall;" for many live in a form; that is easy, but there is no dying in a form. Therefore it is necessary to be deeply humbled with many fears respecting myself and a sight of the difficulties to which I am exposed, in order to set before these poor creatures the conflict as well as the conquest, He is "the God of all grace", who calls us unto eternal glory by Jesus Christ; and by the power of this grace he will effectually instruct me how to be sober and feed the flock, and not lord it over them, that when the Chief Shepherd shall appear, he may crown both them and me with that glory that fades not away.
I had been burdened for two or three days until yesterday with a very grievous load upon my spirit. I mourned and cried under it, and could get no relief; but the Lord appeared last night in reading, and gave me a sense of his kindness and goodwill, and showed me that he always had a good will towards me, but that there was a need for this heaviness to keep down my proud and foolish heart. O how low these visits make me to put myself, and what a holy trust and confidence I place in him in all his dealings and dispensations! At such a time I know that all things are intended, and do work, for my good.
My subject today was Hebrews 12:1:I found my heart deeply affected with it, and told the people there was no setting aside dead weights, and besetting sins, and no running our race with patience, but by looking unto Jesus; and that nothing else would strengthen the hands that hang down, or make the knees to bow before God. Many professions are entered into, but in the end prove unsound; for those who hold them look to themselves and not to Jesus, and therefore their faith Christ will not own, being neither the author of it nor the finisher. Look diligently to this, for it is not he who thinks he stands that shall prevail; but, as Hart says,
"A wounded soul, and not a whole,
Becomes a true believer."Sukey Harley said she found the Word searched her beyond expression; "I know," she said, "that the Lord is with you, for I wanted to put away many things, but my Redeemer would not let me; and at last he gave me power to fall, and there I find my comfort. But, O Sir, what shall I do when you are gone? I shall feel my need more than ever; O how I pray for you, and that the Lord would bless you at home!"
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 170
London, 2 November 1839.
Dear Mrs. Oakley,
I cannot help calling to mind the manner in which I first became acquainted with you, and how afterwards myself and family resided in your house. I was exercised often in much prayer that the Lord would direct me that I might not speak after the wisdom of the flesh, but that our family worship might be attended "with the demonstration of the Spirit and of power". Though I cannot boast of wisdom or superior light, yet I must say that the Lord in his all-wise and overruling providence has given me many advantages by an enlightened and faithful ministry; having fixed the bounds of my habitation here, where not only, is the truth preached, but the continual communication with the afflicted people of God has been a very fruitful, instructive, and humbling lesson to me. These means it has pleased God in a measure to deprive you of. Perhaps on this account I was enabled to discover many things in which you were hoodwinked, and wherein you lived very short of your privileges. I was much comforted often to see how teachable your spirit was, and how you were enabled to pass over the weakness of the instrument, and to pay great reverence to the Word of the Lord; and this again made me the more earnest in secret that I might have the presence and approbation of the Lord, and that I might myself enjoy the comfort and liberty I set before you.
I had many distressing fears, and sometimes severe conflicts almost to despair, even while I was at your house; but the Lord always appeared, sooner or later. At one time, when I seemed ready to give all up, fearing exceedingly I was not right in speaking as I did to the poor people at Pulverbach, these words came with great sweetness and power, "My son, despise not you the chastening of the Lord, neither be weary of his correction; for whom the Lord loves he corrects, even as a father the son in whom he delights." In the strength of this I found great liberty to speak, and it assured me that the Lord had directed my way, and that it should not be in vain. Besides, I often found the sweet and comforting presence of God, when I was with my family in your little room; I was quite sure that the Lord was with us, for I perceived that he opened your eyes upon many things that you had not laid to heart before, some of which had brought you into great bondage.
I was much encouraged when you told me of the courage the Lord gave you to read Jude to the people that assembled with such levity, under the pretense of visiting a sick friend. How it showed me that the Lord had indeed drawn a clean line of separation between your spirit and theirs. This I believe is the gulf that God has fixed between his people and all carnal professors; they that would pass here cannot, for they cannot understand that this secret distinction rests entirely with them that fear him, and they alone shall share in his covenant.
Let me entreat you to pray to be kept very tender, and not seek to pass the line that God has drawn. I perceive he has made you very observant; be sure to keep in mind what you felt when little Becca brought you the tract, and the scripture which then first caught your eye; let it never slip from your heart: "I will pour upon the house of David, and upon the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the Spirit of grace and of supplications." This Spirit will always bring us very low in our own estimation, to feel and understand in a measure the exceeding sinfulness of sin; and then what follows will indeed make us sober-minded: "They shall look upon me whom they have pierced, and mourn for him, and be in bitterness, as one that is in bitterness for his firstborn." There is nothing that will bring us down like this, nor anything that will prove so safe and profitable, or make us so careful and tender in our walk; for here we learn that everything that is untoward in us is a fresh piercing of him, and this will bring us quickly to confession and many earnest prayers for a fresh discovery of Christ's mercy to us.
I hope Mr. Oakley has not forgotten to ask for the crumbs that fall from the Master's table; tell him despair is the worst of sins, and that the Lord delights in all that hope in his mercy. How I grieved that the enemy should so overpower him as to prevent his joining us in family worship! He ought to know that all sorts of sinners and sins are pardonable. "All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men." Why will he lie in his bed in direct opposition to God? It is most fearful. There can be no good come of direct disobedience to God. May the Lord help him from henceforth to call upon his name; and may God bless you with a daily increase of godly fear.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 171
(To Mrs. F.) London, 22 November 1839.
Dear Mrs. F.,
I have been anxiously watching the various changes that I have heard have passed upon your mind since your first attack in this illness. God does nothing by chance, nor in vain; but he often deals in very peculiar tenderness with some, and I think with none more so than with you. How gently he led you through various secret cogitations, until he brought you to a fuller discovery of the dangerous state of your soul, and of the souls of all mankind by nature! O how gently he instructed you in the nature of sin and its consequences when you lay fainting at the Lodge! Death at your heels, sin all round about you, and guilt unpurged and unatoned. All this the Lord showed you at that time, and by the sight taught you to pray in earnest for mercy. There you saw in a measure the vanity of all created things. Nothing then seemed so suitable to your wishes as for God to be reconciled in the face of Jesus Christ. This led you to be very serious in your desires and inquiries after the Word of the Lord, and you could then have hazarded much if you might but be permitted to hear the Word. You thought, and thought justly, that something by it might be made known to you respecting the way. In all this appeared to be spiritual life and sensibility; and moreover you found it was not in vain, but this apparent life manifested itself in various ways; sometimes with deep exercises and conflicts of fear and dismay in the night, and a feeling that you must be among the people of God, for it is only "out of Zion, the perfection of beauty, God has shined". Then the Lord spoke to you by that psalm you named to me, which contained much encouragement for you; and about the same time you had some answer to your prayers respecting leave to hear the Word, and you did hear it, with a power with which you had never heard before.
All these things are the secret tender leadings of the Spirit of God, and denote that you are of that vineyard spoken of in Isaiah 5:It is said "he fenced it", that is, the Lord gave you those secret checks, and little discoveries of his mind and will, to keep you and fence you from the path of the destroyer, "and gathered out the stones thereof", that is, all the rubbish of carnal reason, natural affection when clashing with God's Word, pride, vanity, conceit of knowledge, hardness of heart, and many more such things; "and planted it with the choicest vine", that is, "Christ in you, the hope of glory"; "and built a tower in the midst of it", that is, upon all the glory he put a defense, according to his promise (chapter 4); "and also made a winepress therein", that is, all the furnace-work and sanctified afflictions which his people go through; and then comes the issue, "and he looked that it should bring forth grapes", that is, fruit unto eternal life; but alas! we find the charge against us is: "It brought forth wild grapes."
This is the point I would by all means draw your attention to: "What could have been done more to my vineyard, that I have not done in it?" What gentleness, what pity, what tenderness! And where is the return? I have always watched this, that where there has been a peculiar stir or exercise of the mind, such as you have lately gone through, it always is, sooner or later, brought to this issue; it brings forth either good grapes, or wild grapes.
You will naturally ask, How shall I know which? If good, the glory I spoke of will be defended by the power of God against all temptation, and there will be a growth of tenderness and anxiety in hearing the Word of the Lord, and a walking more or less in the daily exercise of watching the coming and going of the Lord. If wild grapes, an outward show of quietness, and a usual appearance at our appointed places, but a terrible death within, with many secret suspicions that all is not right, and a seeking after the flesh to put that straight which God will (under such circumstances) make and keep crooked. This last is generally attended with repeated blows of God's sensible displeasure, and a legal striving to mend that which Christ alone can mend; and this brings on "the sorrow of the world", that "works death". But he who hearkens to the Word of the Lord, either in his dispensations or in any other way or means by which he is pleased to show his mind and will, will find a defense upon his measures that shall keep him safe from all his enemies; "his leaf also shall not wither, and whatever he does shall prosper."
May the Lord encourage you to watch and pray, and fear; for happy is that man that trembles at his Word. God bless you, is the prayer of
Your unworthy but faithful friend, James Bourne
Letter 172
(To his Daughter H.) London, 23 November 1839.
My dear H.,
I trust you had a safe journey, and doubt not you have had a very kind reception from our friends at Hertford. I miss you in many ways, and you are often in my thoughts, especially in my prayers that the God of all grace may stand by you, and sanctify every change that in his providence he may direct. You have not been absent from me since your last illness; and it being exactly twelve months since I was sent for on that occasion from the place where you now are, brings afresh to my mind the many sorrows I endured at that time, and the way in which the Lord watched over me. As my need, so was the strength he gave me; or I should have utterly despaired. For though he turned me to destruction, yet how tenderly and carefully, and with what assurances of love, did he prop up my sinking spirit, until he did indeed comfort us on every side! How sweetly he brought you up out of the depths, and set your feet upon a rock, and established your goings! Before this you knew but little either of yourself or of the Lord; but you have since found where the wealthy place lies, that is, "through fire and through water".
May the Lord keep you ever in remembrance of the wormwood and the gall, that your soul may be deeply humbled within you. Never forget that the conflict is not over, but only just begun; as Hart says,
"When his pardon is sealed, and his peace is procured,
From that moment his conflict begins."The temptations of the enemy are too subtle for us to find out before we are caught in the snare. Among these are pride, feigned humility, conceit, self-will, and a long train of the like; sometimes even accompanied with tears, until we think them graces. But the Spirit of God now and then shines on a sudden with such a luster and piercing power that we are for a moment quite overwhelmed, and fear we have altogether mistaken the way; and in this fear is light and life, causing a mournful cry: "Woe is me, for I am undone!" That cry is all the Lord calls for; when that comes from a broken heart, presently "a live coal from off the altar" touches the heart; iniquity is forgiven, and sin purged; and then, free as air, we bless and praise the Lord once more for his wonderful love and mercy to the chief of sinners (Isaiah 6:5-7).
In this way I am led, and I doubt not you move in the same. In this way the pride of man is brought low, and the insuperable love of Christ exalted. By these things we gain confidence to put our trust in him, and seek most ardently to make him our Counselor and Friend.
"Be sober, be vigilant;" for your adversary will never cease nor tire while you have one breath to draw. Beware of a worldly spirit, idle vague conversation, listless frames; these are the engines Satan works with. Seek especially for godly simplicity. "A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways," and can obtain nothing from the Lord.
Your affectionate father, James Bourne
Letter 173
(To one who manifested enmity) Stoke Newington, 9 December 1839.
Dear Friend,
There is not a more subtle corruption than prejudice, the offspring of enmity, a true child of the devil, which often influences and greatly affects that corrupt part which is found in the hearts of the children of God, and is called in Scripture "the old man". We are told by the Word of the Lord to put off, or deny, this corrupt principle; and to "follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord".
You have often given intimations of a work of grace upon your heart; and have spoken of troubles and deliverances which, if of the right sort, must of necessity humble the soul in the dust. The very distant suspicion of enmity in the heart towards any one, at such a time, would bring the soul into great consternation; and these words would stare the poor creature in the face, so that he would not dare to lift up his head, but cry, "God be merciful to me a sinner"; "If a man say, I love God, and hates his brother, he is a liar" (1 John 4:20). This sentence would so burden and bind us, that we should never be able to approach a throne of grace, nor feel any other thing than that the Lord beholds us afar off, while we encourage the least ill-will or unkind thought towards any of the children of God. Divine charity "thinks no evil, bears all things, hopes all things;" and it never fails, nor deviates from this rule.
I have always observed that such as are free to judge others seldom judge themselves. You perhaps will ask, Why then are you so free? Because I do not so willingly judge, as I would admonish and caution; and because you have expressed much respect for me, and what I have said on these occasions. I therefore venture to show you that you will never be able to prove your footing upon the Rock of Ages, when the rains descend and the winds of error beat upon you, and the terrors of death assail you, if the least grain of enmity be encouraged.
If you desire the counsel of a friend, and tell me that you are under a sore conflict in this matter; that the temptation is so strong that you mourn under the weight of it, but it often returns, then, I say, you are in the footsteps of the flock. We are all harassed in our turn by the violence of Satan. I would counsel you to pray incessantly for those whom you are tempted to revile. This is the way I have been led, and have found it the effectual teaching of the Spirit, and have received many blessings in my own soul, as well as found deliverance from the snare. He who will observe these things "shall understand the loving-kindness of the Lord".
Thus we shall "lay aside every weight, and the sin that so easily besets us". In doing so, we shall be the better able to "run with patience the race that is set before us". Enmity keeps us looking to the dark side of everybody and everything but ourselves. Instead of which, if by the power of God's grace we deny that, and look to Jesus, we shall soon understand that he is the Author and Finisher of that faith which will carry us through all our difficulties, as it did those worthies mentioned in Hebrews 11:This faith will work by love, and teach us to endure the cross, and deny our lusts.
Therefore, my friend, "despise not you the chastening of the Lord" for your sins and pride; "nor faint when you are rebuked of him." For only those whom he thus takes in hand he loves, and receives none but whom he scourges (Hebrews 12:1-8).
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 174
(To M. G.) Stoke Newington, 9 December 1839.
My dear Friend,
Your present affliction has entered deeply into my mind, and I can truly feel for you, and find much encouragement in my prayers in your behalf. It never was said to the seed of Jacob, "Seek you me in vain;" nor can I be persuaded that the conflict you have described can end in anything but a conquest. "Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us." The intercession of Christ is never more needed, nor given, than when we are surrounded with perplexities; "troubled on every side, yet not distressed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed." We which have this spiritual life "are always delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh", and that in all the deliverances which he works for us (2 Corinthians 4:8-11).
Where would be the glory of God's grace, if we were always in very easy places and very slight difficulties? He magnifies the riches of his power and the efficacy of his grace by working impossibilities; and when all our strength, wisdom, and natural hope is gone, then comes in the beauty, suitableness, and sweetness of his almighty power, which saves to the uttermost. Remember the mercy of the Lord in these words, "Pursue, for you shall surely overtake, and without fail recover all." "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He who goes forth and weeps, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him."
"Poor pilgrims shall not stray,
Who, frighted, flee from wrath.
A bleeding Jesus is the way,
And blood tracks all the path."You see the conflict must be sharp, but the conquest shall be sure. May the Lord continue to give you that prudence, discretion, and silence, with which he has hitherto armed you, and you will find your safety in turning this battle "to the gate" (Isaiah 28:6), for it thus becomes not yours but the Lord's; and woe be to them who are found fighting against the Lord. I never felt that word more true than now, and I believe it will be seen in your case: "He who touches you touches the apple of his eye" (Zechariah 2:8). The judgment of God lingers not. The quarrel is his, and woe be to him that contends with his Maker. "Surely in the fire of my jealousy I have spoken against the residue of the heathen, and against all Idumea, which have appointed my land into their possession, with the joy of all their heart, with despiteful minds, to cast it out for a prey." Therefore the Lord says, "They shall bear their shame," but "I will do better unto you than at your beginnings, and you shall know that I am the Lord" (Ezekiel 36:5-11). So that you may perceive that the wisdom of God is such, that out of the darkest dispensations he often gives to his people their brightest evidences, and the sweetest tokens of his loving-kindness towards them.
Tell your sister not to be disheartened if she fears she has scarcely bodily strength or spirits to go through these dark valleys; tell her, if she seeks the Lord and watches the effects of her petitions, she will soon perceive that the Lord has not said in vain, "As your days so shall your strength be." Do not give way to carnal reason. "Endure hardness as a good soldier of Jesus Christ."
"Your Captain is stronger
Than all that oppose."Make but a free use of him, and watch if he forbids it. On the contrary, I am sure you will gain courage this way. I know your often infirmities; you are soon cast down, because you too often look at the danger, and not at the strength that is in Christ Jesus.
You are now in the midst of the fiery furnace; you will soon tell me how you came out; that the Lord was with you in it, and that the smell of fire did not touch you. These are the ways and means the Lord takes to fit you to instruct your poor neighbors; his instruction is better than head-knowledge. I have been long inured to these conflicts, and cannot manage better with them than you; only I know you will gain the victory some way or other, because the Lord never yet failed his people once.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 175
(To M. and J. G.) Bayswater, 29 January 1840.
My dear Friends,
I cannot help sending you a few lines that perhaps would have been written before this, had I not been painfully ill for a two weeks. I entered this valley of humiliation with some feeling sense of my high privileges: "This is my comfort in my affliction, that your word has quickened me." In this I found eternal life, and had some sweet tokens and renewals of it as I proceeded. On Sunday morning, while looking and longing for a further renewal of this quickening power, as I read Malachi 4, the first verse filled me with awe, and I saw and felt much that, like stubble, must be burnt up; yet the Lord makes a reservation, which seemed to look straight at me, saying with inexpressible kindness and mercy, "but unto you that fear my name, shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings." This I found a spiritual healing, and the sweet rays of this Sun burnt to ashes all my unbelief, and left my spirit softened and comforted with a sweet hope.
I have been two days with my relations, Mr. and Mrs. T. I found a sweet gale from the Lord on my entering their house, a very soft and secret contrition, a deep feeling of humiliation, with a most sweet and honest power of confessing my sins, not with wrath and fear, but with an inexpressible feeling as of a child at the feet of a kind and tender Father.
This is the Friend I want to recommend to you in your present dilemma. He never fails. Listen to what he says: "Be still, and know that I am God." What see you in this dispensation? "A seething pot, and the face of it is towards the north", a cutting, trying dispensation, with many secret dark rebukes and reproofs for the Lord will utter his judgments in a broken law. Here I think the Lord has for some time held you; everything seems to make against you, and every testimony (however false it may be) seems to sink into your hearts; the Lord suffers it to enter your spirits as if it were true, and you find no shelter. This is God's design, that all refuge may fail you without and within. All shall fight against you, "but they shall not prevail against you; for I am with you, says the Lord, to deliver you" (Jeremiah 1:13-19).
Though it may be a doleful, dark, and long night of affliction, yet I believe that this necessary law-work is to bring you down to know something more than you have done of the exceeding sinfulness of sin. And remember, "Unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings," and you shall "go forth and grow up" in the midst of these terrible things. The effect will be a purer language, and a brighter view of Christ's precious salvation; and in the end all shall acknowledge that you are "the seed which the Lord has blessed".
Read very diligently Deuteronomy 4:"You that did cleave unto the Lord your God are alive, every one of you, this day." In that chapter is set before us the great necessity of spiritual attention and diligence; and it shows us we cannot have a better token of God's favor than a secret watchfulness of the Lord's movements within and without, attended with prayer.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 176
(To M. and J. G.) London, 4 February 1840.
My dear Friends,
"If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small." The Lord has called you to the battle, and has in many ways told you that it is not yours, but his. While you have a breath to draw, spend it in prayer and confession to him. "A righteous man falling down before the wicked is as a troubled fountain, and a corrupt spring." It is said of one of old, "His heart was moved, and the heart of his people, as the trees of the wood are moved with the wind. Then said the Lord unto Isaiah, Go forth now to meet Ahaz . . . and say unto him, Take heed, and be quiet; fear not, neither be fainthearted" (Isaiah 7:2-7). Let not your carnal fears nor any human threats drive you from an earnest and continual cry to the Lord. I have often in the course of my life been driven into such desperate places that I must either cry to the Lord or sink, and have always found the Lord to answer me in the extremity; and the greater the impossibility, the clearer has been the relief. If taught of the Spirit, you will find enough of your misery and sin to lay before the Lord; and you cannot abase yourselves too low. He will exalt such as abase themselves. It has pleased God to put you into the hot furnace, and he will sit as a refiner, and see that no pure metal shall be lost.
True religion consists of judgment and mercy. "Shall there be evil in the city, and the Lord has not done it," (and that for the wisest purposes)? (Amos 3:6). O what a mercy it will be for you both, if you turn out apt scholars under this severe teaching! "I was dumb, I opened not my mouth, because you did it." Let your secret moments be much spent in confession, and you will then find that "like as a father pities his children", so, even so, will the Lord pity you. Do not look at your mountains of difficulty; that would make them the more impassable: but look to the Lord Jesus Christ, who has tenderly invited you to cast your burden upon him especially if you are "weary and heavy laden". If once you can believe he has a kind intention towards you, you will then feel a greater readiness to make use of him, and not be so frightened at the threats of your enemies. The Lord is stronger than all that oppose. Read Isaiah 7:1-9, and you will then see who has the ordering of all things, in Heaven above and on earth beneath; and I am sure they that touch Jerusalem will find it a "burdensome stone" (Zechariah 12:3).
With many prayers and hearty good wishes I commit you both into the hands of the Lord. You know he can do you no wrong, and this trial will work for good. I doubt not (nor will you in the end think it a strange thing) but God has something peculiar to do in it, which as yet cannot be fathomed. Patiently wait therefore, and quietly hope for his salvation; and remember they that wait for him never can nor shall be disappointed, world without end.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 177
(To M. and J. G.) London, 8 February 1840.
My dear Friends,
I am sorry to see you so cast down under your present trial. Surely you must be aware that the peculiar hand of God is in it all, and that it is for some express purpose as yet not known to you. But let me tell you the dispensation calls for great humiliation on your part; and instead of sorrowing as the world sorrows, you had need to watch and see if you can attain to that godly sorrow that works repentance unto life.
Paul tells the Thessalonians that they knew that they were appointed thereunto; and you ought to know it too, for it is through much tribulation you must enter the kingdom. He had told them before what I have often both written and spoken to you: "that we should suffer tribulation, even as it is come to pass;" and I still desire with him to write to you "to know your faith, lest by some means the tempter have tempted you, and our labor be in vain." I am sure I can also say with the apostle, that I am "greatly comforted over you in all our affliction and distress by your faith; for now we live, if you stand fast in the Lord." I do not forget you in prayer, as I believe this is your hour of temptation, and what I wrote in my last you do well to attend to, especially that secret communion with the Lord in confession; the more you are found here, the nearer you will be allowed to approach unto him.
In Psalm 81 it is said, "You called in trouble, and I delivered you; I answered you in the secret place of thunder" (this is where you now are); "I proved you at the waters of Meribah." Now mind what follows, "Hear, O my people, and I will testify unto you . . . . I am the Lord your God which brought you out of the land of Egypt" (the Egypt of this world); "Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it." O let me see and hear of the spiritual fulfillment of this! Your present circumstances call for it. If the Spirit ever was a spirit of grace and supplication in you, or if you ever knew what it was to have Christ for your Intercessor, let these things be seen now in your present difficulty, and do not let it be said, "My people would not hearken to my voice and Israel would none of me." If they had hearkened, the Lord would soon have subdued their enemies and turned his hand against their adversaries; he would have fed them with the finest of the wheat, and satisfied them with honey out of the rock.
By these things you may judge how you go on; and I hope the Lord will not suffer you to pore over your troubles, but encourage you to make much use of Christ, and see that this secret and spiritual fellowship be kept up. It can only be in Christ that you shall overcome your enemies; maintain an fellowship there or there can be no victory. I hope the Lord will make you very seriously to lay to heart the counsel you have had, and though the whole of it has been very contrary to flesh and blood, yet it has been a safe and sure way to come off more than conqueror.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 178
Hertford, 6 March 1840.
Dear Mrs. J.,
I am of necessity at a distance from you, yet I often lay to heart your case, and am greatly encouraged by it. God's faithfulness to his people is unfathomable, "his ways past finding out". O how great is his goodness towards them that fear him! "There is no want to them that fear him." How true and faithful to his Word he is! Though he speaks with ever so low a whisper upon our spirits, yet we have ever found him so; and it is one of our greatest mercies, that our unbelief does not make his Word without effect. He shows his people "the power of his works", that they are "verity and judgment", that they "stand fast for ever and ever, and are done in truth and uprightness". "His praise endures forever" (Psalm 111).
I have found many changes here; especially in the night when no eye sees. Then it is the Lord walks up and down in my conscience, and shows me many things that cover my face with shame. O how low and little this makes me, and drives out that wretched legal spirit that would have something to present. So far from patching new upon old, I am forced to hasten my escape from the storm, and take a very short cut. Indeed there seems no room nor time for anything but "God be merciful to me a sinner;" and here I find no rebuke, but something seems to say, Keep here; and you will sooner or later perceive that instead of rebukes, the best robe, the ring, and the fatted calf shall be set before you. And surely I find it so, and have often found it, since I came here; nor am I without the sweetness of these things upon my spirit while I write; blessed be his holy name. I cordially desire, if I could, to communicate a portion of this heavenly flame to your heart, and pray that the live coal may never go out sensibly, until death is swallowed up in everlasting life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Pray remember me in your prayers, and give my kind regards to your sisters. I remain your companion in tribulation, abounding in hope.
James Bourne
Letter 179
(To his Daughter H.) Hertford, 13 March 1840.
My dear H.,
I am just returned from Hitchin. Last night a Mrs. P. desired to meet us at a friend's house where several were collected. After some conversation they desired me to expound; and I took Psalm 34, but felt fear and some suspicion because there appeared (as I thought) too much gaiety in the whole party. I checked it more than once, but at length began; and, among other subjects, spoke of the exceeding vanity of all created things, which is seen in the deep furnace. There, if God sanctify the affliction, we see the true color of all things, the death that reigns in the world, and the judgment of God which follows, as well as the sweetness, beauty, and desirableness of heavenly things, and of communion with the Lord Jesus Christ. All else at such a time is but dung and dross. But through the power of temptation this vision seems to withdraw; and as we are gradually restored to the occupations of this life, an importance begins again to be put upon those things which in the furnace seemed so light.
This moved our new friend to speak, and she began to tell us of the deep despair and sorrow she fell into, and the furious fever that raged, so that her friends supposed she lost her senses, and often thought she would never be restored. "But here," she said, "the Lord took sweet advantage of my misery, and so abundantly comforted me that I knew not how to speak of it, such sweet communion, such holy triumph, that all created things seemed less than nothing. But now, as you say, I mourn and lament; my heart gets entangled, my spirit worldly; created objects will intrude themselves as very important, and I am greatly cast down, and alarmed at my treacherous dealing. I never thought I should be brought to this again; but sometimes those words revive and encourage me, 'The Lord, the God of Israel, says, he hated putting away.' I grieve to feel this gradual withdrawing; I am ashamed after such mercies received; but I feel a little comforted tonight."
All this occurred about eight months ago; and though in the telling of it I am not able to describe half, yet I felt so comforted, so sensible of the power of God in her behalf, and so led to see how the Lord had dealt with you, that she quite won my heart; and I secretly wept to hear so much of the goodness of the Lord. I told her I wished you had been there, to compare notes with her; for I thought you both together would be like iron sharpening iron.
May the Lord comfort you, and prop up your heart still to wait patiently, and quietly hope for his salvation. These conflicts are the universal exercises of God's elect. But truly, what the Lord says shall be fulfilled: "more than conquerors through him that loved us," and who in times past has manifested his love and mercy to us. Therefore, "Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."
Your affectionate father, James Bourne
Letter 180
(To — ) Hertford, 25 March 1840.
Madam,
It is now nearly seven years since you first came among the little despised flock in which you now rank yourself as one. In the first letter I received from you I thought I discovered much tenderness and humility, which led me to hope that the Lord had been pleased to take you in hand, and bring you down before him as a lost sinner. Where is all that appearance now? What is become of that little light you once possessed? Where is that appearance of steadiness in your purposes? Where is that kindness towards the people of God, which once seemed to be the effect of spiritual union? How or why is this fine gold become dim? Dim it is in the worst sense; for you are not aware of the thick darkness that covers your mind.
You say, none know your afflictions; nor is there any necessity that any should. God knows them, and has placed you in the midst of them, to make manifest whether that light profession you have hitherto walked in be "wood, hay, stubble", or what it may be. If gold should at last appear, that stands the fire. You are aware that the Lord has "his furnace in Jerusalem", to purge away the dross of that gold; and though you may find terrible work in that furnace, the Lord will be all-sufficient for you.
I fear the complaints you now make of your trouble are the lashes of God's anger for the spirit of the world in which you live; so that when you come among the people of God you know nothing of that language of Canaan which is peculiar to those who live there. Your mind is so flitting that there is no such thing as to keep your attention to any solid, sober, momentous subject; which always betokens an unbroken heart. You are not aware of your continual. attempts to point out your terrible difficulties, nor of your light manner of justifying yourself in everything, and then as if to appease your conscience, adding a few words to represent something of spiritual labor; which I fear in the end will only prove natural conscience lashing you for your light, very light, profession.
I am old, and must soon put off this tabernacle; it therefore becomes me to be faithful to the uttermost; and the more so because of the especial situation in which you and the rest of the friends here have placed me. My manifold afflictions by the blessing and management of God have brought me very low; and I often look at the Lord Jesus Christ in terrible majesty, "who shall judge the quick and the dead", and "who has his eyes like unto a flame of fire". I say, this look brings me down to nothing, and neither paint nor paper can divert my afflicted troubled heart, but I am forced to put my mouth in the dust, as a guilty, guilty, sinner; and wait to see if the Lord will have mercy upon so base a sinner as I. I dare not, I cannot, utter one word about my difficulties, my sins do so stare me in the face as my very own; and I am forced to clear the Lord when he judges, and cry, "Unclean, unclean."
There is but this way set forth in God's Word; all other ways lead to death. Your half profession will one day prove a burden to you that you will not be able to bear; and then you will remember that once you had a faithful friend. Make not light of this, but, like Manasseh, humble yourself greatly, and beg of the Lord Jesus Christ to stop the withering which has already begun, and to dig about the barren fig tree, and dung it, if haply it may bear fruit another year.
That the Lord may cause you to lay these things deeply to heart, is the prayer and sincere good wish of
Your aged friend in the path of tribulation,
James Bourne
Letter 181
(To Mrs. T.) Hertford, 28 March 1840.
My dear Cousin,
Your welcome letter came in a time I needed it, and I felt much encouraged by it. Your first chapter of Joshua has been a sweet portion to me, and though it fills my spirit with awe, yet it arms me with divine courage to meet what it may please God to bring me into. I am not here without much spiritual conflict; at times overwhelmed with the deep and subtle threatenings of the enemy, setting before me the utter destruction of myself and family, and adding that there is a necessity for it, because of my pride and presumption, and many such things. I dare not say these are temptations, and so pass them lightly by, but they bring me to much confession and many prayers; and here I found the word of the Lord to Joshua helped me: "Be strong and of a good courage." This being often repeated in the chapter showed me I should need all the help the Lord would bestow; that my enemies are mighty and many, but that the Lord would not leave me in their hands.
I often plead the comfort and encouragement I met with last winter in my affliction, and am encouraged to believe that the Lord remembers the promises he caused me to hope in, and that the needy shall not always be forgotten. The overwhelming prospects the enemy sets before me sometimes appear too terrible to bear up under, but these things teach me something of the nature of a broken heart. I dare not contend, but cry; not quarrel with the Lord, but say, If it please you, O Lord, deliver my soul. No demand, O no! but the most abject submission. Such is the sight and weight of my sins, that I can have nothing to say, but, Will you have mercy, O Lord, and leave me not in my old age. My heart is softened with his unfailing compassion, and I have hope that matters shall not go to the dreadful extent of my fears. I know his judgments are a great deep, and that my sins call for heavy strokes; but the very falling under the feeling sense of them sometimes is attended with this sort of reasoning—The Word says, "Only acknowledge your iniquity;" and I reply, Lord, I desire to hide nothing, but to fall flat before you. My judgment being in a measure enlightened, I say to myself, Surely this is the way the Lord removes his heavy hand, and will not enter into strict judgment, but will be better to me than all my fears. Thus hoping and fearing, spiritual life is kept in exercise, the soul kept low, pride put down, and all vain conceit removed, and we become profitable to the afflicted children of God.
O my dear friends, stick close to the lessons you have been learning in the furnace. I am sure the enemy will thrust sore at you, and you will need all that the Lord has so tenderly shown you. Never forget this: "He will be very gracious unto you at the voice of your cry; when he shall hear it, he will answer you." You will be much harassed, and soon begin to question whether the Lord will ever hear you again; nevertheless, in all your straits, whatever they may be, he will be as good as his word, and never leave you nor forsake you.
Your affectionate cousin, James Bourne
Letter 182
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 20 April 1840.
My dear Friend,
I have often reflected upon my visits to Hertfordshire—the fears with which I was surrounded within and without, and the many encouraging times I found in prayer, respecting the whole of them. My bodily health kept me low, which I found to be profitable; for the Lord did not keep me at a distance. While at Hitchin I found my spirit free to speak all the truth, as the Lord enabled me; and I trust it was not wholly in vain, for the Lord was there. I was comforted in the account some gave us, because I felt we were taught by the same Spirit. My heart was one with Samuel Underwood, and I had much sweetness and power while speaking at his house. I also felt it no small mercy that the Lord discovered to me that there was a contrary spirit among some of them. I thought it the most awful thing imaginable to be found in such darkness and presumption, and especially dreaded the light manner in which they held the truth as experienced in Underwood and others. I was thankful that I could exceedingly profit by the account of that poor and outwardly wretched woman, Fanny Chote, too insignificant to be considered profitable by many of them, for want of their being well immersed in affliction themselves. This is the reason why they cannot be intimate with the poor and afflicted people of God, who they say are always in bondage. Happy bondage! Love is all the Savior asks for, and that he bestows. He entreats us to take this bondage upon us, and try it. He says, "My yoke is easy, and my burden is light;" and so will all say that have labored hard under the terrible yoke of their transgressions. They who have changed that yoke for the Savior's will readily join with me and say, Happy change from death to life, both present and eternal!
I also found my labors at Hertford very profitable to my own soul, being often much exercised with fears and the sight of my own danger, yet as often comforted with the cheering presence of the Savior, causing me to hope in him for all that I had to do among you. I found many different cases, and my mind was much exercised on account of them. Mrs. H. and her sister seemed to be in travail of soul, and in pain to bring forth, but they seemed held where a deliverance ought to be wrought. I felt as if Miss S. and Mrs. Tims were much increased in simplicity, and that both of them on that account would be the objects and subjects of much temptation. The more they are in earnest, the more the enemy will throw hindrances in their way; but I am sure they will find that the "wealthy place" lies directly through the fire and water (Psalm 66:12). Luther speaks of nothing else. This life, with all its accommodations of health and comfort, is not compatible with a spiritual warfare. Our sin has polluted them, and therefore God will continually strike at them as our worst enemies, and the greatest hindrances to our spiritual prosperity.
Mrs. R. has certainly found a goodly pearl, and so cleared her way, that I hope she may never forget how she received the Lord Jesus Christ, but by God's help be able to walk in the same spirit, and be a comforting example to the little colony about her. There are others surrounded with various difficulties, into which, I believe, the Lord has plunged them, in order to make manifest of what metal they are. It is said, "They cried unto the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them out of their distresses. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and brake their bands asunder" (Psalm 107:13, 14).
Pray remember me affectionately to Mr. Maydwell. May he be spared through all his delicate health to be a further comfort to you, as a helpmate in all the various changes and afflictions that occur in your little community.
I found the Lord so near and so precious, the last two mornings especially, that I thought I felt an intimation that the whole of my labors would be blessed, and that the Lord would make it manifest that the weakest instrument, under his almighty power, might be made use of to the pulling down of some of the strongholds of Satan.
Remember me affectionately to Mrs. Gilpin, who is laboring in this heavenly vineyard, and tell her not to be envious of those who are paid before her. The penny a day is agreed upon, and will be paid; but we must learn spiritually both to wait patiently, and quietly to hope that it is not a sweeping dispensation which holds us at a distance, but that the Lord's time will come, which will be then thought the very nick of time, and that all trouble will presently be forgotten in the ocean of eternal love.
Give my affectionate regards to Mrs. F., who waits in hope; the Lord seems gently to pull down her fleshly hopes, and is still undermining all confidence in the flesh, and attracting her heart to a better and more enduring substance, "a city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God". I must not forget her neighbor; I am sure she had some feeling of the things spoken, but she hardly dares, through want of courage, quite to show her colors. I think I saw some very great tenderness, but the kingdom within her seemed partly clay (Daniel 2:41-43). I fear the furnace; the Lord is a jealous God, and whatever we sow we shall reap. I hope she will never seek to patch up a friendship with Heaven by her own righteousness, for Christ says, for the great humbling of such, that publicans and harlots enter the kingdom of Heaven before them. O, do not think that taking the sacrament at stated times has any salvation in it; that is most awful darkness. Beg and obtain mercy; then "Do this in remembrance of me," of my dying love.
Remember me kindly to the H's, and tell them from me that strait is the gate and narrow is the way that leads to life, and I hope they will seek it with all their hearts.
Remember me also to the poor blind friends; tell M. that it has been a great mercy that the Lord has bestowed upon her a quiet spirit, and that she feels the necessity of humility. It has pleased God to place her where she (though naturally blind) must be as a candle upon a candlestick. The true fear of God will lead us all to be anxious here, and I trust E. will also consider the goodness of God, who has graciously fixed the bounds of her habitation, and caused her lines to fall in pleasant places. It is a sign of good teaching to be deeply affected with these things, and to be thankful that they have the privilege of constantly hearing the truth. May the Lord bless them both, and keep them united in spirit, bearing one another's burdens, and so fulfilling the law of Christ.
I feel it utterly impossible I should have been so comforted in my soul during my long visit with you, had not the Lord been among us. I cannot therefore easily forget it, but my prayers and sincere and affectionate good wishes attend you all, and I hope you will increase more and more. Be sure, my dear friend, to entreat the Lord for clear work upon your own soul, as a proof of the power and genuineness and reality of the work of God; and that his presence may so arm you as to enable you to say, "Thus says the Lord."
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 183
(To a Daughter of Mr. Oakley) London, 30 April 1840.
Dear Madam,
I cannot help sending you a few lines, but how to say it is in sympathy with you I scarcely know; because the very long and fearful trial that you have witnessed in your late father has terminated so exceedingly sweetly as much rather to create thankfulness than the sorrow of the world. The whole of the circumstances had in them the deep and unfathomable judgments of God, so as to make us all to tremble, and as the Lord declares (Psalm 99:8), so we perceive he really acts, namely, though he forgives the sin of his people, yet he takes vengeance of their inventions, that all men may see and hear, and fear and depart from evil. O how true the Word of God is, "Whatever a man sows, that shall he also reap." How much have we seen of this in your poor father's case, and yet how wonderfully in the midst of judgment has the Lord shown mercy!
This case seems set before his family especially to encourage them to hope, if any of them are led to lay it to heart. I know that you have had many secret workings in your own mind respecting the safety of your soul, and these have been attended with many fears. I hope the Lord will not suffer you to browbeat these secret intimations of his mercy, but do by all means cherish them. See and call to mind what the power and efficacy of God's grace has effected in your dear mother; how she has been carried through all her trouble for full four and twenty years, and though often cast down and hopeless as to the issue, yet how sweetly it has appeared that the everlasting arms of the Lord (though underneath and often out of sight) were nevertheless round about her to sustain her. Look well at the wonders that the Lord has wrought for your parents; and, if you can, venture to hope that he is both able and willing to save you.
It has pleased God to give you the accommodations of this life, and it is with pleasure I have both seen and heard much of your kindness to your God-fearing parents. May the blessing of God be found in this! I trust it will be so. But let not worldly comforts entangle your affections, nor suffer yourself to consider that gain is godliness.
I have been often surprised how the Lord has kept your dear mother from the various errors of the day, and how he has put this special fear in her heart upon this subject, so that she cannot communicate with all who offer the right hand of fellowship. I sincerely hope you will be able to see with her the necessity of this; that the Word of God may be your guide; and that your heart may be kept tender, and susceptible of those very secret divine impressions that show us the way we should go. Nothing will prove so hardening and darkening as to stifle these; it will cause continual stumbling, and end in your calling good evil, and evil good; bitter errors sweet, and sweet truths bitter.
May the Lord direct and comfort your hearts, so that you may finish your course with the same sweet peace which your father enjoyed in his last hours.
Yours most respectfully, James Bourne
Letter 184
(To W. B.) London, 23 June 1840.
My dear W. B.,
I am truly sorry I cannot get at you so much as I could wish. I feel much for your long captivity, but consider (as no doubt you do), This is the Lord's doing; and I trust it is to engage your attention to that "still small voice" which he utters upon your conscience, to inform you of the dangerous state of your soul, which perhaps would never be laid to heart were the body sound, and all things going on well.
Young people are apt to think that religion is receiving the Word in their natural perception, and establishing themselves in the light they receive by the ministry, and suppose that this is all that can be known; whereas it is worse than nothing if it end here. But angry looks and terrible frowns from God, and a sensible rebuffing from the Lord, together with some sight of his justice, holiness, and truth, these are considered the black marks of a finally condemned criminal. O no! They are not so; but on the contrary this is the sort of trouble which turns men into such fools as God makes wise unto salvation. The Lord hides his purpose in these terrible dealings, for a time, in order to humble the poor soul in the dust, and to show him something of the depth of misery into which he is fallen, and then to discover the greatness of the beauty and the suitableness of the precious Savior.
Although you say but little to me about these things, yet, if I can ever read hearts, I think I can read something of this sort upon yours; and my counsel is, While you are the Lord's prisoner, give him no rest, until he condescend to bestow a kind look, a tender word, or some heart-rending mercy, which shall forever fix him in your best affections. So prays
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 185
Fittleworth, Sussex, 20 July 1840.
Dear Mr. Maddy,
I was much struck with reading in Romans 4 how Abraham was not disheartened at the thoughts of his own body being dead, but rather looked to the promise of God, and staggered not. That dead body is a figure of the dead works that dead professors bring to Christ; and why will they attempt at this? Because they have light in some measure to see their sins, and yet not light enough to see that this death is no hindrance to him who is the Resurrection and the Life. Though through the blackness and multitude of our sins there seems no prospect of life, yet Abraham "against hope believed in hope", and so must we believe; yes, believe that though we are barren and fruitless and dead, yet Christ has died to revive such sensibly barren fruitless and dead sinners, whom he has made to pine after him. Nothing is said of our wonderful performances in all this chapter, but the contrary is insisted upon and established.
Nothing is more dangerous than the slightest deviation from the truth of God's Word; and nothing makes so ready an entrance for all error as a legal spirit; it will go on in an untoward way in thought, word, and deed, contrary to God, nor will anything turn that mighty torrent of obstinacy but the rod of correction.
I have been greatly exercised since I came here, but not in vain.
Yours very truly, James Bourne
Letter 186
Fittleworth, 23 July 1840.
Dear W. B.
I am not able to find out your secret thoughts, but of this be assured, God is doing business with your soul; and you had need to pray for a watchful spirit, that you may know what to answer when he reproves. I would advise you only to make use of one word in your answer, namely, Guilty; and see what a compassionate Savior will say; also remember that Jesus came "not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance". It appears that the Lord will not let you go, until all your quarrels are made up. If you escape with these unsettled, woe be to you; for he has taken you in hand, and you cannot get out of his hand. Take hold of Christ's strength, that you may make peace with him; and you will find that though he debates with you, he will stay his rough wind in the day of his east wind; and this is the way your iniquity shall be purged (Isaiah 27:5-9). Do not idle your time away in listlessness, but give the Lord no rest; and be assured you are in no trifling case; the judgments of God are a great deep, but for all who tremble there is always a way out. May the Lord comfort and encourage you to be much in earnest.
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 187
(To Mrs. T.) Fittleworth, 26 July 1840.
Dear Cousin,
Wherever I am I feel that "strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, that leads unto life"; and everything that transpires has a tendency to work death. I have been all my life long too much widening this narrow way, and am even now convicted of the same in all directions. This is the watchword, "I have chosen you in the furnace of affliction," and this you know is very contrary to a mirthful spirit. My illness has frightened me. I cannot endure the thought of being a foolish virgin, nor of my lamp being put out in obscure darkness. The little I know of the Lord's presence, love, and kindness, is so precious that it is dearer to me than life itself; and I am anxious to have the enjoyment of these in my latter hours. The spirit of the world, wherever it is found, is contrary to all this; it eats as a canker and leaves no life behind. Mr. T.'s repeated conflicts show me the necessity of sobriety and watchfulness; and I hope neither he nor I shall be enticed away from the secret teaching of the Holy Spirit, for this will be one part of it, "In such an hour as you think not, the Son of man comes." I feel it a sore thing to grieve the Spirit, and nothing does it more effectually than walking in two spirits, if I may so speak; one always ready for the truth and the people of God, and another for all sorts that walk in the flesh.
I have many cares and many fears respecting my large family, and they increase as I come nearer to the end. I am very dark as to the right mode of proceeding, but I find the most efficacious way is unceasing prayer. Everything seems to wind up with me into so narrow a compass, that I have no friend left, no hope, no help; and I begin, I think, to perceive that this is a mercy from the Lord. The flesh recoils, and when I am shut up in darkness I think my case different from that of any other of God's people; but this is my infirmity, and I am greatly ashamed of it. When the Lord softens my spirit, I repent in dust and ashes, and feel it is of his mercies I am not consumed. I then can, and do, commit myself and my family wholly and entirely into his hands, and wonder at the strange and marvelous mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ, that he will at all plead my cause, and give so wretched a sinner such a sweet hope of eternal life. This brings me clean out of the world, clothes me, and puts me in my right mind; and all things are right. Here I am loosed from the bands of my stiff neck and the iron sinew that binds me, and the Lord rules and reigns in my heart and affections.
These are the changes I am continually subject to, but which I sometimes hope the Lord sanctifies. How few believe the report, or show any anxiety to profit by it! Fashion in all its various shapes beguiles the spirit, and Paul's words are forgotten, who tells us that he rejoiced in his weakness while it was profitable for the church of God. Hence we see authority taken not by the sensibly weak, but by such as think themselves strong, strong in self-confidence, not in the Spirit. This sometimes lasts a good while, yet the day comes when the Lord shows who is weak and who is strong. The furnace shows what is gold and what is stubble. These things make me dread to lose sight of the resting place that the Lord has appointed; for he only shall abide whom God approves. I therefore do most exceedingly desire that my sentence may come forth from him, and neither from the world, nor the dearest well-wisher we have upon earth.
I hope you will accept my best wishes, and tell Mr. T. I trust the Lord will never suffer his faithfulness to fail towards either of us, but remember us in our low estate.
Your affectionate cousin, James Bourne
Letter 188
Fittleworth, 30 July 1840.
Dear Mrs. Burrell,
There is no situation in life that screens us from affliction. I used to think that poor —'s frequent visits to your father (Mr. Huntington) would be the means of his getting all the blessings, while I should be left in the dark, hopeless and helpless. I have had also the same sort of thoughts respecting you; but I perceive what the Word of God says is true, "The land shall mourn . . . every family apart, and their wives apart" (Zechariah 12:12-14). I have long watched your casting down, and have seen this very essential grace in it, namely, the fear of God; and to such the time will come when there will be a lifting up.
There will yet be many changes; I seldom find myself in the same place many hours together. My present bodily affliction often rouses my fears, because I see death making hasty steps, and Satan paints before me many terrible things which I shall not be able to contend with. His great aim is to gain my attention to his voice, and to keep me looking at him, and listening to his suggestions, and to my own deceitful heart. All this brings me very low; but (if possible) he will not let me look to Christ; and I think it is every day harder to turn my eyes that way. Yet when the Lord does grant me that power, I am astonished how all the rest vanishes into smoke.
I found some melting from these words in meditation this morning, "Although my house be not so with God, yet he has made with me an everlasting covenant, ordered in all things and sure;" and I could cordially join with David in saying, "This is all my salvation, and all my desire." I felt sweetness in the thought, and a secret testimony that the Lord had wrought it in my heart. I felt also much brokenness of heart in reading the preceding verse, "He shall be as the light of the morning, when the sun rises, even a morning without clouds; as the tender grass springing out of the earth by clear shining after rain" (2 Samuel 23:4, 5). It led me first to consider this: "Unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings," and brought to my remembrance the comfort the Lord sent me by those words at the beginning of my affliction. "The tender grass springing out of the earth, by clear shining after rain," I know secretly to be the graces of the Spirit flowing out after the holy anointing with which he has so often refreshed me. No wonder it should be called tender grass, for nothing makes a man so tender and self-abased, as the love of Christ shed abroad in the heart, which is the clear shining of the Father's love to us in Christ, testified by the Spirit.
It was this "clear shining" that carried our departed friend Mrs. Jones so sweetly through the valley of the shadow of death; and the same would be quite sufficient for me; for it would remove all darkness, and betray all the subtle lies of the enemy. I feel its power now in a measure. It is a very serious thing really to come to dissolution; only I find every promise of God has eternal life in it, and therefore believe that I cannot be confounded in the last conflict. I have often had a secret assurance that the Lord Jesus will be with me then, and feel a holy confidence that it must be as he has said; and in watching the ends of those among us, I find none are disappointed.
Some time before Mr. Harvey was taken ill, he spent an hour with me, and I felt quite satisfied and comforted that the Lord was with him. I could never lose sight of this; and I am glad to hear that in the midst of his extreme weakness God manifested the efficacy of his grace, and that the poor man's end was peace. Surely these are not cunningly devised fables, but the true fruits and effects of a ministry which God has appointed. When I mentioned something of this sort to one of a contrary spirit, the reply was, That is nothing; we have had three hundred happy deaths in a short time! The magicians could do most of the wonders the Lord wrought by Moses. But let me be found walking in the fear of God, and seeking for such a testimony as he will approve in the great day. "Let my sentence come forth from your presence;" for this will stand, and nothing else.
I am here in a most retired spot, and find none inquiring after the Lord. I seek for nothing new, but desire to watch the daily movements within, and find this is sufficient labor for me; and inasmuch as the Lord is with me in it, I perceive it is not in vain. For by this exercise it pleases him to maintain spiritual life, though you see by this letter I am in a low place.
Your faithful and affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 189
Fittleworth, 30 July 1840.
Dear W. B.,
Let me kindly ask you, Why are you so deadly silent? If the devil can bind you hand and foot, no doubt he will; but why believe him more than God's Word? The Lord has put you into a desperate place, and you cannot get out of his hand; there is nothing left for you but prayer. Perhaps you are not aware that all who have been made partakers of mercy, and have at any time obtained any hope, have passed through the same sad place, and know the confusion that attends it. When I am traveling, and have lost my way, I ask somebody that knows the country to direct me; for I feel I dislike to have to go miles back for want of asking. But I believe the devil tells you it is no use; so he tells me, but I don't see it any use to believe his lies. Is it of use to know Christ, whom to know is eternal life? If you come to the borders of eternity (and you are not very far off), you will find you cannot face that without help. It will then appear whether you wanted Christ, or a name to live; why you left college, and why you hear Mr. Burrell, and why you allow me to write the truth to you. Trees do not always continue in blossom; corn does not always lie in the ground; there must be a reaping time and an in-gathering. Take heed; we read, "The harvest is past, the summer is ended, and we are not saved." May the Lord help you.
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 190
(To the Rev. W. Maddy) Fittleworth, 4 August 1840.
My dear Friend,
I am happy to find the Lord gives you a little more liberty; I thought you had got to a sad length: "bound hand and foot with grave clothes, and his face bound about with a napkin". I know of nothing like the spiritual liberty that Christ bestows upon the poor and needy. Whom the Son makes free are free indeed.
Luther on the Epistle to the Galatians has been my companion since I have been here. The Word of God, and this, have been sweet spiritual food. Luther, writing on the words "for me" (Galatians 2:20), begins: "Who is this me? Even I, wretched and damnable sinner, so dearly beloved of the Son of God, that he gave himself for me." This came with a sweet appropriating faith into my heart, melting my soul in contrition. Then he tells us there will be innumerable sects, devising new works, but what are all these compared to the death and blood of the Son of God, "who gave himself for me"? "If I, being a wretch and a damned sinner, could be redeemed by any other price, what needed the Son of God to be given for me? But because there was no other price, either in Heaven or in earth, but Christ the Son of God, therefore it was most necessary that he should be delivered for me. Moreover, this he did of inestimable love; for Paul says, 'Who loved me.' Wherefore these words, 'Who loved me,' are full of faith. And he who can utter this word me, and apply it unto himself with a true and constant faith, as Paul did, shall be a good disputer, with Paul, against the law . . . . Be it so, that the law is a heavenly doctrine, and has its glory; yet notwithstanding it loved not me, nor gave itself for me; yes, it accuses me, terrifies me, and drives me to desperation. But I have now another who has delivered me from the terrors of the law, sin, and death, and has brought me into liberty, the righteousness of God, and eternal life; who is called the Son of God, to whom be praise and glory forever." He goes on to show that this is a hard lesson to learn, "that when the devil shall come to us under the color of Christ, and shall go about to trouble us under his name, we may know him not to be Christ, but a very fiend indeed. For Christ, when he comes, is nothing else but joy and sweetness to a trembling and broken heart." Now if these things be true, he concludes (and they are true indeed), then we are not justified by the righteousness of the law; and much less by our own righteousness.
In all this I found a clear testimony of the precious love of Christ to me. It removed all fears and misgivings, and set my feet in a large room. But oh! how soon these seasons withdraw, and I am again sent into the field of battle against the world, the flesh, and the devil! My many changes bring on the fear of death, and I get into the very places Luther describes.
But the Word of God is not bound; this is my mercy. The Lord yet speaks to me by it, and often softens my spirit in prayer. I am quite surprised how quickly he returns. His mercy, patience, longsuffering, and infinite condescension often fill me with the greatest amazement.
I was very glad to hear from Mr. Dore; he is a true yoke-fellow, a good fellow-soldier, who fights hard to the last. O what a mercy to have such spiritual life in old age: How true it shows the Word of God to be! How professors in general wither here, and how many vain excuses are made for them! But not so with such as make the Lord their refuge; the promise is, "They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing; to show that the Lord is upright."
Yours very faithfully, James Bourne
Letter 191
(To M. G.) Fittleworth, 7 August 1840.
My dear Friend,
I was most glad at receiving the account of your visit to Mrs. Oakley. I trust I caught a spark of that heavenly fire which warmed my best affections towards the Lord Jesus Christ for his love to the chief of sinners. I must confess I felt myself very little while reading the account, and with shame I sought to take the lowest place, "in honor preferring others", for the work's sake. This I conceive is the unity of the Spirit, and a true test of the work being genuine. By it we perceive we are of one heart and one way. But alas! how often is this work sadly disfigured by the spirit of the world, the flesh, and the devil, so that we lose sight for the present of all that is profitable.
This morning, while meditating for my reading, Ezekiel 16 struck me much. I wondered greatly at the infinite condescension of God to pick out such as are there described; and that we, in our wisdom and self-righteous spirit, should take such pains to be somebody before we will come to him, though he there shows us that his choice lies in no such way. "As for your nativity," that was bad. "In the day you were born your navel was not cut, neither were you washed in water to supple you, you were not salted at all, nor swaddled at all . . . . but you were cast out in the open field, to the loathing of your person." That is, When I picked you up, you were not separated from the spirit of the world; you had no water of life, no savor of grace in you; born in sin, and shaped in iniquity. "And when I passed by you, and saw you polluted in your own blood, I said unto you when you were in your blood, Live."
O what a blow ought this to be to a legal spirit? What can the self-righteous say to this? and yet how bound hand and foot they often are, and cannot see where they are held; nor are they able to see that the wretched condition here described is that which moves the compassion of the Lord Jesus Christ.
"Not the righteous;
Sinners Jesus came to call."How true is what Hart says again,
"A sinner is a sacred thing;
The Holy Spirit has made him so."The Savior further says, "When I passed by you, and looked on you, behold, your time was the time of love" (we always think the first look means nothing but destruction; but not so; it is a time of love); "and I spread my skirt over you" (that is, I covered you with the robe of righteousness, so that your nakedness did not appear); "yes, I swore unto you, and entered into covenant with you, says the Lord God, and you became mine." O what unheard of mercy and love, what inconceivable condescension, to choose such wretches, and tell them they are his! Then it is added how he thoroughly washes away their filth, and anoints them with the sweetest tokens of eternal life; the Holy Spirit thus testifying of the Father's eternal love to such sinners in his well-beloved Son. What more can we have? Is not all this far beyond the comprehension of the wisdom of the flesh, or the utmost bounds of the most refined reason? Do I indeed know anything about this? Surely I do. How came I acquainted with this wonderful and mysterious secret? Only by the sovereign grace and mercy of God. The world knows not anything of it, nor does it desire to know. We also were in the same condition, but the Lord picked us up, as described at the beginning. Only admire the love of Christ, and see the value he puts upon such miserable forlorn creatures. Consider this when you are in great straits and troubles; and if he establish the first, see whether he will not with himself freely give you all things, present help in trouble, hope, encouragement, revival in our bondage, and many little secret intimations that he has not forgotten us, nor ever will.
I think of you every day in my prayers, which sometimes gives me hope the Lord will yet appear for you, and your enemies shall be ashamed. I only fear your growing slack. The word is, "Give him no rest." It is not possible that the Lord should turn his back upon such. He is represented as inclining his ears, hearkening, and hearing. Is this to mock us? O no; but you and I have need of much humbling, and it is a great salvation. Consider redemption, how precious, how vast! Salvation cannot be attained to, but through fire and water.
Yours faithfully and affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 192
(To Mr. J. H.) Fittleworth, 8 August 1840.
Dear Friend,
I thank you much for your very friendly letter, as well as for your very kind invitation. I often think of the distracted state of your little church, and wonder some of you are not anxious to bring matters to an issue. All things are possible with God. I fear that as a body (if I may judge by the spirit of some among them), they are left to wander in dark places; but I see not why such as fear God should wander with them. I wonder that some of you who really thirst for the waters of life are not anxious to have a constant ministry, though it may not please all. Why should not the few, who cannot live without the Word, seek out by prayer and supplication a little place where someone might be found to be their constant minister, and not contend for the rights of the chapel, and headship, and the rest of it, but contend for the faith once delivered unto the saints? This might be profitable, seeing how long you have been unsettled, and how short life is. Is there none, among all the children that your church brought up, that could thus dispense the truth, and leave the mixed ministry to them whom it may concern? I fear you are not aware of the danger to which you expose yourselves as a body; and how, by not coming to a decision in the fear of God, the glory of God may depart. I found several among you that manifested much tenderness; but there is a promise that says, "Yet shall not your teachers be removed into a corner any more, but your eyes shall see your teachers" (Isaiah 30:20). This evident withdrawing of the Lord from among you is a dark mark, and the clouds may gather thicker and faster than you are aware of. Samson knew not that the Lord was departed. Such are sad times, for it may be long before he returns. There must be much reproach to endure in such proceedings, but eternal life is at stake; and we are told we must and shall be hated of all men for Christ's sake, and by none more than those who have a name to live, and yet are dead. It is a great mercy to be brought to this point: "As for me, and my house, we will serve the Lord" (Joshua 24:15); and that through evil report and good report; being accounted deceivers, though true in Christ.
Tell your dear wife to be much in earnest to watch the fruit of those good things she told me of. You farmers know full well you must not be always ploughing and sowing; you expect to be reaping the fruits of your labors; so spiritually we are not to remain always in the same state. Watch and see that the grain of mustard seed grows according to God's Word, and that the briars and thorns choke not the word so that it become unfruitful.
Remember me also affectionately to Underwood. I hope he will never tire and faint in his long afflictions, but that the Lord gives him a spirit of grace and supplication; and that he is led to watch over you both, and set before you the way of the Lord, a path of great tribulation, but a path the Lord's people have trodden in all ages, and by which they shall still come, and by no other way. But they all shall be more than conquerors through him that loved them; and shall have no conflict without obtaining sooner or later a conquest.
I hope the Lord will enable you to lay to heart the things I have written, and not suffer you to settle anything by human wisdom or carnal reason. Bear in mind that the counsel of the Lord alone shall stand; but this counsel is to be sought for and obtained by much diligent and earnest prayer; and the apostle says, "Your labor shall not be in vain in the Lord." The Lord direct you both.
Yours faithfully in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 193
Fittleworth, 8 August 1840.
Dear W. B.,
I must write to inform you that I feel the importance of a true work of grace upon the heart to be such that it becomes us all to be faithful to the uttermost, that there may be no mistake at last. I have been, and still am, so interested on your behalf, that l would gladly have you comforted and instructed in such things as accompany salvation. I believe those secret cogitations and fears which you find lead you to cast a wistful eye to the Lord, with some such words as these, O that I knew where I might find him! How shall I stand death and judgment without him? These are the trembling thoughts I had when I first began to think about religion; they were among the first breathings of the Spirit that led me to cry mightily to Jesus Christ. I had no rest in secret; but I knew of none like me, nor ever heard of any who had been like me. My secret sins lay so heavily upon me, that I thought none who were taught of God were such sinners as I. But now I find that none else but those to whom God discovers these evils know anything aright.
It is under this dreadful discovery we are made to fear and tremble; and then comes in the Word of God, which is "like apples of gold in pictures of silver": "To this man will I look" (and to none else), "even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and trembles at my word" (Isaiah 66:2). This is a look of mercy and salvation; and in this sweet revelation of hope you will find many things to soften your fears and raise your drooping spirits. For the Lord always gives his people something they like better than the things he takes away. He never takes away their natural life, until he shows them their spiritual and eternal life, the sight of which overtops all created things and makes them finally glad of the exchange. I often say it, and I desire you exceedingly to exercise your mind in this one thing, and beg of the Lord to help you. "Look not at the things which are seen" (for their sight works despair), "but at the things which are not seen" (that is, not seen with the natural eye). For those eternal things are discovered to be all beauty to the spiritual understanding, and will be suitable to your condition, be it what it may (2 Corinthians 4:18). It will be seen, in your thus looking, that the Lord makes crooked places straight, and rough places smooth, and reconciles everything in the Spirit which is irreconcilable to the flesh; and patience at length will have her perfect work.
May the Lord comfort you abundantly in your present affliction, and cause you to be much in earnest to have a clear interest in Christ, for this will be profitable for this life as well as for eternal life. So prays continually
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 194
(To Mrs. Tims) Fittleworth, 8 August 1840.
My dear Friend,
We are told to bear no burdens on the Sabbath day, but in this I fail; I am generally burdened with many things, and am so today; yet I think the Lord has not given me over unto death, and am anxiously watching to see whether he will be as good as his word, "Wait on the Lord, and he shall save you" (Proverbs 20:22).
I am often surprised to see the wonderful effects of the true fear of God. How this active, watchful, lively spirit enters into every part of my warfare, and gives such a turn to all that carnal reason asserts as I cannot describe. It goes quite contrary to the will of the flesh, and to what the world calls necessary pride. It makes a way for such only as are deeply humbled and well taught to know that the eyes of the Lord are upon all our ways, and that he will "bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing". Therefore we are admonished to take heed to the movements of this heavenly grace of godly fear.
When my mind is bewildered I begin to fear something is out of order, and seek to be alone to ponder my way. In this state many things are presented to me, some very terrible and weighty; and by reason of the clouds and darkness that surround me, I cannot clearly discern the difference between the convictions of the Spirit and the accusations of the devil. This godly fear teaches me not to parley with the devil, but to come to Christ as my Counselor to plead my cause. It does not suffer my memory to pass by the reproofs of conscience, nor does it let me amuse myself with trifles to blunt the edge of them, but leads me to watch for a clean and clear issue in the blood of Christ, which alone leaves a savor upon the spirit, and makes me understand what spiritual liberty means. This again cherishes godly fear, and greatly encourages the growth of humility, in which I am taught to bear many things my natural pride and foolish self-consequence spurn at.
I cannot tell you how evidently I find the workings of the two natures. The old man is still alive and in his full vigor, and would often lord it over me, but for this godly fear actuating the new principle; hence arises a terrible confusion at times, and nothing but the arm of Omnipotence, in the behalf of the weak, timid, trembling, new man, could ever cause him to prevail. My feeling this often makes me (when the victory is gained by the blood of the cross) to cry out, "Not unto us, O Lord, not unto us, but unto your name give glory." Then this grace of godly fear appears again in great vigor, which causes me to walk still more cautiously. I perceive it makes me often to tremble, and is always attended with a sense of great weakness. I become afraid of everything, and sometimes think I shall through weakness be betrayed altogether into the hands of the enemy and fail at last; but here I am often surprised by finding myself nearer to Christ than I thought. How so? Because he says, "Let the weak say, I am strong." The Word of God begins to open itself sweetly in behalf of all such weak ones; my ears and heart open; and I find there is no end of compassion shown to the helpless, while the fat and the strong are left. Thus the fear of God proves "a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death"; and as Hart says:
"The fear of the Lord forbids us to yield;
It sharpens our sword and strengthens our shield."
I have been much tossed about in my mind since I left you, but the Lord having put the rich treasure of his fear into my heart, I have not been left destitute; his visitations preserve my spirit from utterly sinking. It is in the dispensations I have lately been under that I learn the truth, value, and reality of those things of which you have often heard me speak. I wish to believe at all times the things that I utter, and am sure I do, when I am alive to all the terrors and tremblings which many call bondage, but to which I hope the Lord will keep me alive to the last, because I find nothing else extorts a cry to the Lord Jesus Christ. I have never yet had a battle without a victory; therefore why should I complain? I know the truth and certainty of those words, "More than conquerors through him that loved us." There is no death nor shame in seeking him. "Your heart shall live that seek God."
I often think of our little meetings at Hertford; I am sure the Lord was with us by the blessing of godly fear in my own heart.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 195
(To Mrs. Tims) Fittleworth, 10 August 1840.
My dear Friend,
I wrote to you the other day upon the subject of godly fear. I must now write something more upon its most sweet effects; and my desire is that you and the friends may gain in the account what I have found, for it will be greater riches than all the world can boast of. I have been greatly cast down, and, as the apostle says, "pressed out of measure"; and this, by the mercy of God, was the cause of much heart searching and unceasing prayer. Here I believe the Spirit helped my infirmities; and in reading Psalm 85 I was led in sweet meditation to make a pause at these words: "Surely his salvation is near them that fear him, that glory may dwell in our land." My heart both broke and expanded under the influence of this godly fear, and the word "surely" encouraged me to draw near, until the glory of his grace and mercy abounded in my heart, and I could apply the beginning of the psalm, "Lord, you have been favorable unto your land; you have brought back the captivity of Jacob; you have forgiven the iniquity of your people; you have covered all their sin." What tears of contrition, and what power to draw near to the Lord I found under the influence of this godly fear, because I perceived the Lord had taken away all his wrath, and had turned himself from the fierceness of his anger, and comforted me. Here I found the sweet effects of what I wrote in my last, "Wait on the Lord, and he shall save you." Those words kept sounding in my heart: "Surely his salvation is near them that fear him;" and led me to be very watchful and tender that I might not quench the Spirit, nor grieve him to depart. My heart was continually going up to the Lord, and the more earnest I seemed the more the enemy filled my mind with foolish and vain thoughts; but, by the mercy of God, I found that "in vain is the snare laid in the sight of any bird"; for he kept his fear so alive in my heart that the more I felt confused with the empty vanity, the more was I led to cry for help. I had a most weighty object before me, namely, the light of the Lord's countenance to be gained, and this godly fear to be greatly cherished.
Under many changes and some very cutting fears, I was then led to meditate on 1 Corinthians 2, which begins, "And I, brethren, when I came to you, came not with excellency of speech or of wisdom, declaring unto you the testimony of God. For I determined not to know anything among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness, and in fear, and in much trembling." O how sweetly this entered my heart, and showed me that the sensible weakness and trembling I found under my present trouble was no token of God's displeasure, but the contrary. I perceived it to be the Spirit's work, for it led me to cry mightily to Jesus Christ. I also perceived that the Spirit accompanied all this weakness and trembling with divine power upon my heart, and upon the hearts of those that heard me. God takes this humbling way that no flesh may glory. Godly fear keeps the soul from poisonous pride; "the wisdom of men" is here brought low, and "the power of God" exalted.
But how shall I tell you of the heavenly power conveyed to my soul in the verses which follow, the brokenness of heart and deep humiliation before God, while I wanted words to set forth the riches of his grace? "Mercy and truth" did indeed meet together, "righteousness and peace" kissed each other; truth sprang out of the earth, and righteousness looked down from Heaven, and said, "Son, be of good cheer; your sins be forgiven you." How shall I sufficiently set this before you? The apostle calls it "the wisdom of God in a mystery, even the hidden wisdom", which none of this world know anything about. "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God has prepared for them that love him; but God has revealed them unto us by his Spirit." How sweetly the Spirit applied that word us to me, and made my cup run over! The apostle also shows that this conveys to us "not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit which is of God, that we might know the things that are freely given us of God". Here again I had a heavenly testimony of the true teaching; for by the heavenly power the apostle speaks of, I was more than sure of all that the Lord had wrought in my heart.
This is the salvation that is "near them that fear him". The living principle of the fear of God becomes a fountain of life to our drooping spirits, and makes us depart from the snares of death. The fruits and effects of this godly fear are often little understood by us, even when we are under the most powerful influences of it. You will ask, How so? Because of the great weakness and trembling fear we feel. We judge these sweet tokens to be black marks, although there are no promises in the Word of God to any other. May the Lord encourage us to press through the crowd of objections that carnal reason and fleshly wisdom make, and learn from happy experience to believe that "surely his salvation is near them that fear him, that glory may dwell in our land."
Tell poor dear W. B. not to be disheartened; hard as his case may be it cannot be worse than mine. Tell him to remember the greatness and power of the Savior, who is able to save to the uttermost; and tell him if possible not to look to himself, a bad sinner, but to look only unto Christ, who came to save sinners, not good people. Who knows but the secret dread he feels may prove to be "Jacob's trouble"? There is none like it, either so bad or so great, or of the same kind; but if so, "he shall be saved out of it" (Jeremiah 30:7). He cannot go beyond lost, and if lost, he cannot help himself; but the Savior came "to seek and to save that which was lost", and none else. This is the place where salvation meets a poor sinner; cannot he hope so? Is there not a secret thought that perhaps it may prove so? Then tell him not to suffer the enemy to brow-beat that thought.
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 196
(To Mr. Nunn) Fittleworth, 11 August 1840.
My dear Friend,
I was truly glad to receive your letter, and have been exceedingly surprised how the Lord has led me in respect of it, as well as the whole of my late exercises.
I was much impressed with these words: "The ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his goings." This led me to very earnest prayer and searching of the Word of God; and I was much encouraged by these words: "Say not you, I will recompense evil; but wait on the Lord, and he shall save you." This followed me night and day with unceasing prayer, and I found an inconceivable drawing near in hope, and my spirit kept in the sweetest composure, and a peculiar sense of godly fear. The Word of God and prayer were my chief employ. I felt greatly encouraged to hope the Lord would help me, and I found a spirit of prayer for you. I was never suffered for one moment to feel anything but that true spiritual union which the Lord alone can work in such a rebellious heart as mine. I then found a sweet confidence arise with these words: "Surely his salvation is near them that fear him, that glory may dwell in our land." This kept by me with some continuance, and showed me Christ as God's salvation; and he came into my heart with all his saving benefits in such a way that I can scarcely remember the time when I had so sweet a sense of his love to me, and of my eternal safety in him.
The Word of God was still my refuge, and 1 Corinthians 2 again came with such divine power to my heart as I cannot describe. The weakness and trembling and fear there spoken of encouraged me greatly; and I found that the Lord had graciously revealed his hidden wisdom to me, and that I should still comprehend in some measure, by faith, what the eye has not seen, nor the ear heard, nor has entered into the heart of man to conceive; even what God has prepared for them that love him.
My heart went up sensibly in prayer to the Lord for you in all your afflictions, and I am persuaded the Lord heard me by his helping my infirmities; for I had been very much cast down, but he has been marvelously kind in keeping me sober and watchful. I hope he will also give you his comforting presence, and be with you in all your troubles.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 197
(To Mrs. T.) Fittleworth, 22 August 1840.
My dear Cousin,
I am called to many and peculiar exercises here, and am surrounded with people that will neither hear nor show reason. I am for peace, but they are for war. I was exactly situated in the same way about ten years ago, only a few miles from this place. I think the Lord suffers me to be thus pursued, that with this ballast I may walk more steadily, and watch the coming and going of spiritual life. I perceive this is but little noticed, especially the first rise of a listless spirit, which is so hard to get removed. I perceive the promised daily cross, when sanctified, is one fruitful means of leading us to mourn to the Lord under the perplexing contradictions of the world; and this mourning to the Lord will be much more profitable to us than resenting any offence that we may seem to have received. Pride feels itself quickly injured, and resentment and recompense are the only means of gratifying it; but oh, the death and distance they work! Here I soon find myself heavily laden, and greatly alarmed lest I should be left to abide under the influence of this death; a cry is created, with many confessions, and the deliverance is not so soon brought about as said, for there must be much humbling and taking the lowest place. O what a blow to the pride of man to be made really nothing, the last, the least; yet how profitable and safe! For here it is, and here alone, that Christ pays his visits. He goes down, it is said, "to the beds of spices, to feed in the gardens, and to gather lilies" (Song 6:2). But what a change takes place by these kind and tender visits; how they calm the tumultuous spirit and make pride to go into his den; and instead of revenge, what affections of mercies and humbleness of mind are found, and what tender fear is created to keep up the spirit of grace and supplication, that we may be assured that the Lord's salvation is near us, and that no harm can overtake us in this manner of walking. This I conceive is walking in the fear of the Lord; and under this leading, though surrounded with ten thousand enemies, we must come off more than conquerors.
Such is the goodness and mercy of God that he will manage our difficulties, both as to weight and measure, so that they shall be to our profit, and by them teach us more earnestly to seek his help. Until sharply exercised in this way, I did not know the meaning of that sweet Psalm 123, "Unto you lift I up mine eyes, O you that dwell in the heavens. Behold, as the eyes of servants look unto the hand of their masters, and as the eyes of a maiden unto the hand of her mistress, so our eyes wait upon the Lord our God, until that he have mercy upon us." Oh this waiting! there is often an inconceivable sweetness in it, although at the time I cry, How long? So that I dare not complain of my difficulties while the Lord evidently makes them profitable to me, and by them keeps my spirit out of the world, and makes me diligent in searching his Word. I find also that the Lord by these things instructs me to enter more fully into the cases of others, and especially to feel for their afflictions, and to take the admonition "considering yourself, lest you be also tempted".
I had a most humbling sight of myself yesterday as a lost sinner, while I contemplated the wonderful mercy of God in Christ. His beauty, suitableness, compassion, and condescension moved me greatly. He was most precious to me, so that although I cannot fathom many things, and perceive that his judgments are unsearchable, and his ways past finding out, yet at such a time I am enabled to leave all to him; quite sure and satisfied that he will do all things well, yes, more than well; that he has done and will do nothing with me but what shall be to my profit and his glory.
These seasons do not abide, but I think I perceive a lasting savor upon my spirit; which encourages me in fresh attacks, to make him my sole refuge. I sometimes for awhile wonder that he does not overrule some things in which his power seems to be set at defiance; but I soon become silent and put my mouth in the dust. I must never be higher than this. God has so determined it; and I believe this is the cause of all the cross providences that befall me, and that I shall learn by them to see greater beauty in a dying Savior, and have my affections more fully set upon eternal things. I wonder often how short these seasons of spiritual life are, and how long death reigns in the soul; how often my prayers seem but words, as if all my religion were come to an end; but Christ, the resurrection and the life, raises me continually to bless him for an understanding that the redemption of my soul is precious indeed.
It is surprising how much better my health is. I trust the Lord will sanctify the affliction to his glory, and to the profit of the affectionate friends with whom I correspond, enabling me to set forth in some small measure the exceeding riches of his grace wherein he has abounded towards me. I hope to be at home on Friday evening, yet long to hear from you once more. You must remember we are without the public means and the personal communion of saints; and though I find the promise in its measure true, "Yet will I be to them as a little sanctuary in the countries where they shall come" (Ezekiel 11:16), yet I find the cloudy days are many and solitary, and death comes in from all quarters. I also think upon that part of my family I leave at home, and have many anxious cares and fears, which are the subject of many prayers and much watchfulness. It is a wonderful mercy to have the blessing of God upon my family, yet it comes not by outward observation, but oftentimes through the most threatening circumstances. This is the Red Sea, in which it appears as if we must be drowned, because it seems to involve both body and soul. The flood appears like wrath poured forth without a remedy; but this excites a bitter and lamentable cry, and though everything seems coming to ruin, yet here it is (and I have found it so) that the Lord turns our captivity with a sweet assurance of eternal life, and a hope that he will be our stay and friend in all our perplexities. Although this satisfies my soul for the present, yet the clouds gather quickly and return after the rain, and my fears come on again and again, which keep me trembling and fearing lest all that is past should yet prove a blank. I think the Lord suffers this that I may not get independent. The flesh loves ease, but the Savior says, "Take my yoke upon you;" and though his yoke will be easy, and his burden light, to the new man, yet the flesh will always spurn at the cross. Hence comes the conflict; and the Lord takes care that it shall be kept up among his people, that he may hear constantly from them. My brightest seasons have followed the darkest dispensations, and I have found the truth of his word, "that he would dwell in the thick darkness" (1 Kings 8:12). I cannot help acknowledging the wisdom of God in these various dispensations; for if it were not thus, I should be like the vineyard with its hedges broken down, and the wild boar of the forest entering, or the little foxes which spoil the tender grapes (Psalm 80:12, 13; Song 2:15).
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 198
(To Mrs. Tims) London, 31 August 1840.
My dear Friend,
I cannot refrain from sending you a few lines upon the blessed subject of waiting upon the Lord. I am seldom without some burden too heavy for me to bear; whether at home or abroad, the cross follows me still; and I am made to acknowledge the need for it. I returned home on Friday evening wonderfully recovered in health; but soon gathered new burdens, which furnished me with fresh errands to the throne of grace. I mourned without expectation, but these words invited me to take them for my morning reading: "The poor commits himself unto you; you are the helper of the fatherless" (Psalm 10:14). This suited my destitute state, and seemed to come with an endearing aspect. I found much liberty and some sweetness; yet my fears ran high, and some heavy clouds hung over me from all quarters, and I, like a poor man, felt myself friendless.
In this condition I was on Sunday morning; and while meditating on Psalm 36, which seemed given me for my family, I felt many keen fears and much misgiving lest I should see the hand of God go out against me, which I am always ready to take as a mark of his displeasure. Still I kept my eye every now and then upon what the Lord had done, and how tenderly he had led me; but I was so very low I could not hope, though I gave not up a very earnest cry. All at once the Lord turned my eye to verse 34 of the next psalm, and so spoke it upon my heart, that it brought me out of all my troubles: "Wait on the lord." I replied, Lord, I do humbly wait. It continued, "And keep his way." I replied again, Lord, enable me fully and wholly to give up my ways. Then followed the rest of the Psalm: "The salvation of the righteous is of the Lord; he is their strength in the time of trouble. The Lord shall help them, and deliver them; he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him."
The power of these words filled my soul with the sweetest consolation and assurance, and at the same time discovered to me a further depth of my nature's evil, and brought me down in the deepest humiliation. For the time being I felt the Lord assured me of many things wherein he would stand my Friend, and that I should see that nothing was too hard for him. O how my prayers went up for all of you at Hertford, and many more! My burden was removed; I found I had a Friend indeed, "a Friend that sticks closer than a brother".
Under this sweet power I went down to my family reading, and warned and cautioned them all against being independent of God; I told them what a fearful thing it is to enter into life without regarding his blessing, and also what a great blessing it would be to have the fear of God before their eyes, and how precious a treasure is the blessing of God, which through mercy I then felt I possessed. But I could not half set forth the praises or the value of such a heavenly gift.
It is indeed a mercy to find grace to be diligent, and as Paul says, to "increase more and more"; for we shall certainly find that every gift the Lord bestows will be put into the furnace, to show the metal, whether it be gold or anything else. It is this furnace, following so closely upon my comforts, which often alarms me; and yet I think it is the wisdom of God to confound the pride of man, and to show him that of himself he is worse and less than nothing. For if we have ten thousand deliverances, attended with the brightest evidences, yet let them be withdrawn one moment, and where is all our mighty courage and confidence? We must all come to the same point with David in Psalm 39: "that I may know how frail I am."
On the evening of that day the minister was speaking of the good of waiting; this warmed my heart, and I believed to the comfort of my soul, and found a holy confidence to commit my burdens once more to the Lord. While this lasted, my eye caught one of my children, for whom I am much interested, and my heart melted in much compassion, with many cries to the Lord on his behalf; and to my great surprise the Lord came in with such a sweet encouraging hope for the object prayed for, that I was melted in tears of contrition, and my soul went up in ardent love and gratitude to the Lord beyond what I can express. It made me inquire very minutely whether I presumed, or was in any way deceived; but the more I adhered to what I hoped the Lord meant to show me, the more I was encouraged and comforted. It also brought up other times and seasons wherein I believed the Lord had spoken to me on the same subject, and confirmed the whole.
Thus I found the words of my text just suited me: "Wait on the Lord, and keep his way." The verses that followed it were unfolded, but with such a fearful light that I forbear to write upon the subject. May the Lord comfort you also in thus waiting upon him, and we shall most assuredly find that he will not suffer us to wait in vain.
Tell our young friend W. B. that this waiting upon his Master shall be honored. Neither his goodness nor his badness shall alter that; because the Lord says it is not for our sakes, but for his own name's sake. He must be a wretched loathsome beggar, that all, except the Good Samaritan, will pass by. Bid him try, when he hears that Jesus is coming that way, whether he can prevail upon him to have mercy. Importunity denotes a sense of need; and I am sure if his burdens are heavy, he will be glad of a Friend to bear them; and if he knew what I do of the tenderness and skill of that Friend, he would gladly go to him without ceasing, and I am sure would speak good of his name.
Yours in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 199
(To E. L.) London, 17 September 1840.
My dear Friend,
I was glad to see your letter, and to find you are better in health. What you say respecting the Lord searching the heart, and trying the reins, I have well understood by painful experience; and I have no doubt you would find vanity written on all created things, a fearful alarm of danger, and but little, if anything, of your former religion would stand.
If you indeed know this heart-searching work, there are many ways in which it will appear. Did you perceive the profession of the day full of error and danger? Did that sight lead you to pray to be brought out from the darkness which had before involved your mind? Did the deep searching bring about a desire to have a secret religion between God and your soul, which an open reward might follow, namely, "All that see them shall acknowledge them, that they are the seed which the Lord has blessed"? In this sharp furnace the Lord will discover to the trembling lost sinner what truth is, and where it is to be found; so it is said in Proverbs 3:His two-edged piercing sword will also cut us off from the spirit of the world, and discover the death that all needless communication with it works.
It is not possible for any one to be so searched and tried as you describe, but the time when, and the manner how, this great work was wrought must be clearly known; and the revelation of Christ's mercy to a soul in such trouble must, of necessity, have such a divine light attending it, that you would be able to describe the sweetness, power, and efficacy of the wonderful grace bestowed.
My reason for naming this is that the whole dead professing church lies buried here in the ruins of the fall. They know they must describe something of trouble, and something of the blessings of God's favor in Christ; but for the want of the work of the Spirit upon their hearts, they will, with immeasurably hasty strides, step over this sweet portion of the truth, and put in a presumptuous claim which the Lord neither owns nor honors. Hence come all those invectives against such as tremble at God's Word, and yet are sensibly comforted with the Spirit's testimony that the blood of sprinkling cleanses their guilty consciences from all sin.
It is because in the course of my long profession I have met with many dangerous and presumptuous characters that I write thus, and again add that you are more exposed to danger than you can well be aware of. Do not think you know all about it; if you think so, you are already entangled in the net of error. If a fear spring up, cherish it, and see if it do not lead you tenderly to pray in secret that the Lord would be the Guide of your youth. Let secret checks not be despised as weakness, but held in great reverence as the admonitions of God. If kept tender and watchful here, you will never want a Guardian or Friend; but if this hedge be broken, the viper of error in all directions will bite you. Take heed; religion is no plaything. We shall certainly meddle to our hurt, if the Lord be not our refuge. May he direct your anxious spirit to the Fountain of eternal life, and then you will never more thirst for vanity, but will manifest yourself a stranger and pilgrim upon earth.
Your much-obliged friend, James Bourne
Letter 200
London, 28 September 1840.
Dear W. B.,
There is nothing more odious than a profession of religion that brings nothing in. I am therefore anxious that every step of your way may be tried, so that the Lord shall bear his testimony to the truth and soundness of it.
One point most of us, and you among the rest, are apt to mistake; because things appear small, and our movement slow, we conclude that all is wrong. This is a false aspect; the fear of God may not have so brilliant an appearance as many things that make much outward show. True religion is very hidden, and is called "the secret of the lord" (Psalm 25:14). It is only manifest in godly fear, a plant that bears root downward in humility, and shows itself in all our necessary engagements in the world in great integrity and transparency in all directions.
I sincerely hope the Lord will appear for you in healing both your soul and your body, and that he will sanctify this affliction at the beginning of your life, so that you may never forget it as long as you live; but be truly thankful that he should check the exuberance of a worldly spirit, and convince you that there is another concern of more importance which must first be attended to.
We often find among us, that such as seem to have too great a readiness to attend to temporal things are presently laid by, and made deeply to ponder their ways. This checks the spirit of the world, and the Lord in mercy puts temporal matters in their right places, and then blesses their labors. The Lord comfort and instruct you.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 201
(To M. G.) London, 12 October 1840.
My dear Friend,
I have been thinking of poor Mr. Morris. The Lord's ways are in the deep and his footsteps are not to be traced. It is a great mercy he has so much sensibility in his affliction. That secret fear of death which works in his mind is no small token of a sense of the need of a remedy to counteract it; nor do I wonder he should often retire from a busy world and company of all sorts, and sit solitary, while God's hand is upon him. I would advise him by all means to cherish these things, and to be much engaged in the Word of God, for he knows not but that the Lord may surprise him by a kind word, and by that means raise his drooping spirits.
All are born in sin, and all must perish if the Lord do not quicken them to feel their danger and to cry for mercy. This he does by various means. When we are brought very low with apprehensions of God's wrath, and there is but one step between us and death, it becomes a fearful dispensation, and turns all our loveliness into corruption, and all our worldly speculations into less than vanity. Oh! what secret mourning, what secret sighing it excites, and what a cry to the Lord Jesus Christ for mercy! And though we do not all at once sensibly attain to mercy, yet there is a something that holds our souls in life; and we feel by that something, which as yet we do not understand, that we are encouraged to give the Lord no rest; for we perceive salvation is to be found nowhere else but in Jesus Christ. When once this is established in the heart, there is an unceasing look to him alone; and when these looks and cries at times grow feeble, the Lord causes a fear to spring up in the conscience which gives a fresh energy, and something like this is groaned out of the heart, when no eye sees us, Lord, have mercy on me, and do not let me die until I know more about you. We do not know that these are the groanings of the Spirit helping our infirmities; but by and by we perceive encouragement to spring up, and Christ becomes our salvation, and the only object of our desires.
Thus the Lord instructs his people by slow degrees. Sanctified humbling dispensations are very fruitful, and the tree often grows downward at the root when there may be but little appearance to the natural sight. We all require much to humble us; and who knows hut this dispensation may eventually have much instruction in it for Mrs. Morris also? She has had a good deal of light, and now the time is come when the Lord is bidding her to take the lowest place, and is in every way showing both him and her what helpless, hopeless sinners they are. They must not be surprised if their troubles are heavy and very tedious to flesh and blood. The Lord will turn this old man of ours to destruction before he bids us to return and live (Psalm 90:3). It is only by sharp furnace-work that the Lord turns to us a pure language, and makes us sober-minded (Zephaniah 3:8, 9). This is not done in an hour, or by one short affliction, and then nothing but joy. It is through much tribulation we enter the kingdom. This work makes and keeps us more dependent on the Lord in our walk, and less conceited of anything we possess.
I cannot help observing, whenever the Lord graciously visits my soul, what humbling effects it produces; how simple and like a little child it makes me; how passive and patient in the furnace; how willing to wait the Lord's time; and how ready to believe that the trial is the best thing that could befall me to bring about my spiritual prosperity and clearer discoveries of the love of Christ. This is the way we grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior.
When first enlightened with the light of life we are very apt to call the marks and tokens of God's work begun upon us, black marks of his final displeasure; whereas the truth is, as I said at the beginning, and will again add, God's displeasure is shown against the sin of our nature, and that makes us to feel bitterly the exceeding sinfulness of sin, and in some measure his holiness. These things meeting in our conscience, and pondered, have a very cutting effect; and, if they work aright, will cut us out and off from the spirit of the world, and from that half-profession which is so general. Perhaps Mr. Morris has been entangled here. An old and empty profession will stick to us as close as our skin; and nothing but the rod of correction will drive it away. The Lord appears to be at this work in earnest with them both; and if it really prove so, I am sure they will declare all their troubles to be the best things that could have happened. I say they will acknowledge this, living or dying. May the Lord in great mercy encourage them to press on; for none ever sought his face in vain. I shall be very happy to hear my words are come true, and that they both may yet see the glory of God in the salvation of their souls.
Cease not, my dear friend, to pray for the welfare of Zion, for in the peace thereof you shall have peace. Slack not your hands on any feeling of the approach of victory. Victory and safety are of the Lord. Grieve him not by remissness, lest he withdraw, and leave you to another campaign.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 202
(To Mrs. J. H.) London, October 1840,
My dear Friend,
I know of no means of showing my sincere sense of your kindness to me and my daughters, but in telling you all my heart respecting the way the Lord has led me.
When I first perceived myself under conviction of my sin, and the danger to which I was exposed of dying without hope, I felt a sort of necessity to mingle among professors, but I had no discriminating knowledge of characters. I therefore was sorely entangled by the general religious professors of that day, all of them seeking to set me down short of the truth; some indeed seeming to come very near to it, but all agreeing in warning me away from such as preached or experienced the real truth. These, they told me, were dangerous characters, and I, for a while, believed them; but my soul-trouble greatly increasing, none of these light professors could understand me, nor could their preachers ever enter into my troubled heart; they only told me to believe in Jesus, and I should find him very merciful, and there they left me, and passed by on the other side. Thus I found the spirit of all who knew not the real thing was alike, although differing in shades respecting the mode of expressing themselves; nor was it until the Lord enlightened me, that I could understand what any distinction meant. The Lord put me into many trials, and my troubles made these professors look very shy upon me. I became so sorrowful under the heavy hand of God, that I was not a welcome visitor among the whole-hearted; and one friend (so called) after another dropped off, until I seemed desolate indeed and was made to sit alone. All this was a sore grief to me; I considered it a black mark of God's anger, and often feared lest I should be found wanting at last when weighed in the balances of the sanctuary. But the Lord being infinitely gracious caused all these things to work for good, and by them he taught me to cry for mercy. I believe that I was suffered to pass through this discipline to humble my pride, and to cure me of independence of God; to pull to pieces my wisdom, and to show me that Christ alone is the essential wisdom.
I have been exceedingly grieved at the number and variety of preachers which the poor and afflicted people of God among you have been tormented with; also at the want of discrimination you all have manifested in the choice of them. I would have you seriously lay to heart what the wise man says, "When you sit to eat with a ruler, consider diligently what is before you; and put a knife to your throat, if you be a man given to appetite." This is strong language, and denotes the awful danger of a general profession. It is added, "Be not desirous of his dainties," (such as the truth in the letter, but no word of exhortation; the head stored, but the heart unbroken); "for they are deceitful meat." If something in your heart replies, I need not fear this, then I say, "Cease from your own wisdom. Will you set your eyes upon that which is not?" for in the hour of trial these empty vanities "make themselves wings and fly away". The character of these numerous teachers is further described in their saying, "Eat and drink," but their hearts are set upon their covetousness, which is here called "an evil eye" (Proverbs 23:1-8).
In another place the wise man says, "Bow down your ear and hear the words of the wise." Remember there will be no hearing without the bowing down, which is to set forth the sweet grace of humility. This counteracts self-conceit, or any notion that we may have power to hear or judge in such divine matters. But when the Lord thus bows us down, he says, "Apply your heart to my knowledge;" and glad enough we are to hear anything about the knowledge of salvation by Jesus Christ in this cast-down condition. This will be "a pleasant thing" to you, and the Lord's words shall "be fitted in your lips" (Proverbs 22:17-21).
I fear you will not have the courage to believe me, yet I would caution you to attend to that very secret teaching, in which I trust the Lord has instructed you. Do not browbeat that, lest the Lord should withdraw his kind admonitions, and leave you to your own understanding. Hart says truly,
"So gentle sometimes is the flame,
That if we take not heed
We may unkindly quench the same;
We may, my friends, indeed."Be much in prayer and reading the Word, if you value the clear truth; and, remember, "the diligent soul shall be made fat." "We have not an High Priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities, but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin;" therefore come boldly unto a throne of grace, that you may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in this time of need. "The meek will he guide in judgment; the meek will he teach his way." The humbled soul, that is secretly desirous of being taught, will have no ear but for the Word of God. "What man is he who fears the Lord? him shall he teach in the way that he shall choose."
If I had not a persuasion that the Lord had begun the effectual work of grace on your heart, I should not have written thus. I fear you are not sufficiently aware of the danger of "enticing words", and many like things, which are hinted at in the Word of God as being the cause of darkness and confusion of mind, and of much disquietude. If it should please the Lord to work this peculiar fear and watchfulness in your heart, it will be a great mercy and a matter of rejoicing to me.
Yours sincerely, James Bourne
Letter 203
London, 11 November 1840.
Dear Mrs. F.,
There is great difficulty in discerning between the natural light of such as hear the truth and the first dawnings of spiritual light and life. Some are constitutionally what we call very sentimental, easily moved to hope or fear; and so soft and naturally tender are such, that they are easily persuaded that all this is religion, and are set down in a self-complacent and self-righteous spirit, exceedingly delighted with themselves. Who so good as they? This sort of religion gives way in the time of sharp trial, and leaves the poor creature discontented, and finally in despair.
When you were taken ill on that bridge near Tewin, and carried into a neighbor's house, did not the Lord then sit on the throne of your conscience, and was not the truth of your condition brought to light? This should never be forgotten. What the Lord then discovered to you was beyond nature. You fell under the conviction, and stood as a guilty criminal before him. You could not set aside that true indictment, and all things round about you were set in their proper colors; and you then weighed them in the balance of the Sanctuary, and found them lighter than vanity compared with the salvation of your soul. This work is compared to fine gold, which the heavenly Refiner puts into the furnace, so as to have for himself a vessel meet for his own use. I think I hear you say that you almost forget all that. Then "How is the gold become dim! How is the most fine gold changed!" Have not the things of time and sense so swallowed up the attention, that this secret work has been too much set aside for the present?
Not cherishing divine awe upon the spirit when God speaks is very often the cause of much darkness and confusion; and then the bustle of this world drowns that still small voice, which often whispers to the wary soul, "I am the way, the truth, and the life." For want of due reverence and attention to the secret teaching of the Spirit, we are apt to grow listless, and soon get at a distance, and know not the voice of the Beloved, who is continually knocking at the door of our hearts for entrance. That knocking is the conviction of the Spirit, but for want of watchfulness, we (like the world) feel cast down, and are unhappy, and scarcely know why; and then, instead of deeply entering into the matter, and searching the very foundation with that prayer, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts," we seek for some little family concern to amuse, and make us forget what should never, never be set aside, but fully inquired into, as something lame that must be healed.
In dealing thus faithfully with our consciences, we shall soon come to a right understanding as to the nature of our convictions. The Spirit will help our infirmities, and a sensible awe will be found upon our heart, and light to discover that the Lord is with us, instructing us in this secret hidden wisdom, which the vulture's keen eye can never discover. But an inattentive and untender walk, after having received the light of life, will be greatly resented; and if we dare to act contrary to that heavenly gift, we shall have to rue it, and perhaps cry many a day before the Lord will be pleased to restore us. The untenderness may have no reference to our outward walk; God looks at the heart. Men generally judge after the sight of the eyes, and therefore judge wrongly. Outward appearances may continue very smooth, and no change be apparent to the common observer, while the heart may be greatly removed from the first look that the Lord gave us.
Call to mind what the apostle sets forth as a proof of the genuineness of the conviction: "What carefulness it wrought in you, yes, what clearing of yourselves, yes, what indignation, yes, what fear, yes, what vehement desire, yes, what zeal, yes, what revenge!" It will always be the genuine effect of the convictions of the Spirit to bring us out of the spirit of the world, and not to let us sit down short of Christ's promised rest.
Thus I have endeavored, by the help of God, to show you the way the Lord has led me. I have also intermingled some very necessary cautions, because I know that it is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God, even in the way of fatherly chastisement, which I, to my shame, have called for so much; and I hope it also is that I may, as long as I live, warn incautious professors. We can scarcely sufficiently lay to heart this plain scripture; it ought to be graven on the posts of our doors: "God is not mocked: for whatever a man sows, that shall he also reap" (Galatians 6:7); and we easily get an understanding by the light of the ministry what our hearts are set upon. I now desire most exceedingly that in all your fears you may make a friend of the Savior. You will find him a sure foundation. I have never been deceived nor forsaken. The Lord knows my manifold difficulties, and it is one of the greatest mercies of my life that in these I am led to go to him. He never forsakes me. He pleads my cause; he clears my way; he comforts me with a sweet hope. All that know his precious name will put their trust in him.
Your sincere and faithful friend, James Bourne
Letter 204
(To Miss H.) London, 20 November 1840.
My dear Friend,
I cannot help expressing myself as much encouraged by your honest and simple letter. When I have corresponded with persons of high rank, I have generally found them too humble in the onset, but ending in great pride, and a manifest proof of their not understanding the nature of spiritual life. I have observed in such a remarkable attachment to certain persons who have obtained great influence by their talents, and their head knowledge of general truths, and this has set them down satisfied with man's application of the truths of God, without searching diligently what the Lord's testimony is. At this point we have generally parted; they satisfied with the letter of the Word, flattered into a profession of their belief of it, and yet remaining with an unbroken heart.
I exceedingly like your hints concerning your present afflictions, as well as those that must abide you in every place, if you are made honest in seeking for mercy in Christ Jesus. The Word tells us that the way to the wealthy place is "through fire and through water", and that it is "to the poor the gospel is preached". I have been long inured to this path; and though sometimes pressed so hard as to see no way at all, yet then I have found the Lord has opened a way through all obstacles. "The Lord has his way in the whirlwind and in the storm;" and when they rise to the highest, I have often found that these tremendous clouds "are the dust of his feet", that is, his approaches to my help have been very near. He has rebuked the devouring sea, and made the hills of difficulty to melt. Thus the Lord has manifested his goodness to me, and become "a stronghold in the day of trouble" (Nahum 1:3-7). When young I was called upon to give up all that was dear to me upon earth. I understood not as yet my path. I concluded that ruin was at hand, that the Lord intended to destroy me, and make manifest to all that my religion was hypocrisy. But though driven out friendless and penniless, his eye was upon me for good, and he suffered no man to do me essential wrong. Thus he humbled me, and proved me, and showed me something of the deceit of my heart, and how ready I was to sit down satisfied with a false profession; but the Lord would not have it so.
You ask, How do you apply the promises to obtain comfort? I answer, One of the first things I was convinced of was the unbelief of my heart, and my want of power to understand anything aright. I was lost in confusion, and could not ascertain how people got at that secret religion which differed so essentially from the general profession. I had been in that general profession, and was sure it never cut at the root of pride, nor gave one blow to the spirit of the world in me; but gave me much vain and empty confidence, which the Lord never owned nor honored. But when the Lord took me in hand, and made the whirlwind to blow from all quarters, then my lovely confidence and conceit began to give way; and instead of saying, I know, I trust, or, I am sure Jesus will help me, a great alarm sprang up lest the Lord should turn his back upon me forever. I did not now consider how to apply the promises, but watched very narrowly whether the Lord would speak one kind word to prop up my sinking spirit; looking diligently whether I could perceive any hope of mercy. It was some time before the Lord was pleased to favor me with a clear sense of pardoning love. When I was at the point of despair, under the loss of my friends, my health, and all my fair prospects in life, then he spoke these words upon my heart "You shall return in the power of the Spirit." This came with such divine authority as to raise my sinking spirits, and make me rejoice in the great salvation I found in Jesus Christ. I walked long in the comfort of this; as it was with the prophet of old, the Lord knew I had a long journey to perform, and had need of much support. The whole of it has been disputed in the hot furnace, but never finally given up; because "whatever God does, it shall be forever; nothing can be put to it, nor anything taken from it; and God does it, that men may fear before him" (Ecclesiastes 3:14).
When the Lord comes effectually into the heart, he will overpower all opposition, and make us to know in that day that it is he who speaks (Isaiah 52:6). There shall be no mistake here to the poor trembling soul. His sheep hear his voice, and know it, and follow him; and that through all fear and misgivings, until the cloud be cleared up, and matters are brought to a sweet assurance.
I am glad to find your mind so tossed and unsettled, and hope I shall see more of this; for it is no small thing to be lost, and it is only to the lost that the Savior is sent. If in secret you are longing after the Lord, and find a desperate opposition within, this I believe is the conflict of the two natures, and will be found in the end to be coming burdened to Jesus Christ. Sooner or later you will understand it by the spiritual rest the Savior will bring. It will be nothing without the Savior's sweet power felt. Many take such things for granted, and this makes their religion as unsavory as the white of an egg.
I feel with you the necessity of waiting; but perhaps you may not be aware, that waiting spiritually is a very active principle, as sweetly expressed in Psalm 123:I have often found myself in such trying circumstances that I have scarcely known how to wait or what step to take; but have endeavored most cautiously, by the help of God, not to go before him. I have always found that according to my burdens, so has been my cry; and that sooner or later an opening has been made for me. You will never find your conscience defiled by waiting upon and for the Lord.
Be very tender of bringing needless reproach upon the cause of God. Make sure ground. If you ask, How shall I? By not moving until the Lord manifestly directs your heart in answer to many confessions and prayers. Godly simplicity is a rich treasure; transparency before God is little known. The heart is full of duplicity. A legal spirit hides many things, and the spring of their actions from many. Hannah was a woman of a sorrowful spirit; she waited long, and obtained an answer at last. You must not conclude that the Lord never decides. He says, "My time is not yet come, but your time is always ready." There is much pride and impatience to be brought down, much independence of God to be removed; and these things will never be effectually done without many vexatious disappointments, many crosses, and many sharp rebukes from the Savior for our unfaithfulness to the convictions given, and many charges against us for turning a deaf ear to his reproofs and counsels.
When these enter, who may abide the scrutiny? I cannot express the alarm they work in my mind, although the Lord has a thousand times manifested his love and mercy to me. O what mournful confessions and entreaties are made under these exercises, and how we seek for the lowest place, and put our mouth in the dust, if so be there may be hope! Here we come nearer to the promises than we are aware. We need not apply them; nay, we do apply none but such as make point blank against us; but the Savior himself comes as the good Physician, and pours in his oil and wine, and comforts our dejected spirits with a sweet hope in his mercy. This is so testified by the Holy Spirit as to need no explanation, nor any inquiry into its truth, for "when he, the Spirit of truth, shall come, he will guide you into all truth".
You with me many times consider yourself a reprobate, for if you are made honestly to seek the Lord, the grand adversary will find out many arguments to prove you are a reprobate. He will tell you that it is too late to seek, and that real believers do not find what you perceive in your heart, and many more such foolish reasons, which the Lord will overrule by making you sick of yourself, and to all intents and purposes lost. This will create a short cut in your experience; it will bring you to a point: "Lord, save or I perish." Here you begin to do business in great and deep waters; and the cry of fire within will move you to escape for your life. This is the law of God entering into your conscience, and showing you that you lie under the sentence of death, temporal, spiritual, and eternal; and that there is no hope, no way of escape. None are brought here by the Spirit of God, but they have a discovery more or less of Christ as a suitable Surety and Savior; and we often see his suitableness, beauty, and power, for a long time before we can believe he is willing. He will be honored and waited upon, and in due time he will appear to the joy and rejoicing of our hearts.
During the whole of this work of God, from first to last, even from the earliest dawnings of the fear of God, we can surely call to mind some intimations of God's intended favor in answer to prayer, very feeble, perhaps, yet mournfully presented in all humility to the Lord Jesus Christ for instruction and mercy; some little circumstances, also, in his divine providence, wherein he has shown us that his eye was upon us for good, both as to our preservation and the special appointment of our lot. On one or another such time we often look back with hope, and say, Surely this was the Lord's doing.
I have many times feared the Lord would give me up to despair. Not more than two years since, I thought he had taken his eternal leave of me, yet I did not give up crying to him; and to my surprise he applied these words to my poor distressed soul: "As I have sworn that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth, so have I sworn that I would not be wroth with you, nor rebuke you." This turned my captivity, and showed me my interest in that everlasting covenant, made between the Father and the Son, and now applied to my conscience by the Spirit.
Whatever the Lord speaks at such a time to comfort you, be sure to hold it as fast as you can. You may judge by the fruits from whence it comes. If such encouragement humbles you, and makes you more tender and watchful, then surely it must be of the Lord; but if it works self-complacency and a conceit of knowledge, resist it as unprofitable and vain. Be honest to your convictions.
There is no end to confusion in going up and down for religious advice. I have nothing to say on my own behalf on this subject. If God has enlightened you, you will by the same Spirit discover where the truth is, as well as what it is. If you have no discrimination on this point, I fear you have watched but little of the Lord's movements in your conscience, for this is called "the candle of the Lord", which searches the deep recesses of the heart.
Your faithful friend in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 205
London, 21 November 1840.
Dear Mrs. Tims,
I am often greatly surprised at the changes I find; and especially at the great distress that often comes suddenly upon me even in one day. I sometimes meet such a sweet encouraging gale from the everlasting hills, that I am ready to believe, "I shall never be moved." Yet how soon this deceitful heart of mine is led astray; and before I feel the guilt contracted I am far removed from the simplicity I felt perhaps but an hour before. Then arises a secret suspicion whether I am at all under the teaching of the Spirit; and the enemy takes every advantage to further the calamity by many proofs which he invents as infallible tokens of hypocrisy. These are the things which make me mourn, and search deeply into the Word of God, to see if any saints have been exercised in the same way; and I find they all sing of mercy and of judgment.
How well David seemed to begin in the name of the Lord to fight Goliath, and what discouragement he endured from his brethren! The victory he obtained by the wonderful mercy of God procured him the notice of Saul, and he was raised to great honors; but soon we hear of Saul casting his javelin at him through jealousy, if possible to counteract what he knew to be the purpose of God. Though Saul again restored him outwardly to favor many times, and gave him his daughter in marriage, yet he pursued him continually. This is the true picture of every one that is in earnest for the kingdom, and on whom the Lord has in any degree manifested his purpose of mercy. If it were possible, our grand adversary would put a final close to all our mournful seeking, by bringing us under some untoward dispensation that should seem to threaten any purpose of God towards us for mercy or salvation.
Solomon, who was a man of peace, and to whom the Lord so abundantly manifested his favor, soon showed how outward prosperity carries the heart away. None were ever so wise as Solomon, and none in Scripture seem to have acted so foolishly as he respecting his wives and their gods, who turned away his heart, to the destruction of his kingdom.
These things show that the Lord is a minute observer of our ways; and it is no small token of living faith to tremble at his judgments. The fear of his uplifted hand is a continual exercise to me, knowing that my heart is foolishly carried away with idols. Nothing but the Spirit, as "the candle of the Lord searching the innermost parts of the belly", will cause this trembling (Proverbs 20:27): but when once the alarm is struck within, I find no rest until the Lord comes with some favorable token of his mercy to me and mine. Such as fear God are subject to these painful changes; but I am also quite sure that a mournful watchful spirit will work its way out of them all. Many strange things occur from quarters never thought of, which involve us in inextricable labyrinths, and are so managed by the enemy as to preclude all power of helping ourselves. This is his craftiness to catch the unwary; but through mercy the snare is discovered, and we find the way out, not by carnal reason, but by a simple cry to the Lord. When we feel ourselves most unworthy of help and mercy, and in the lowest place, then we find an open door. Hope revives, patience is found, and something of quietly waiting brings up the rear; and to our surprise the Lord draws near and tells us we are more than conquerors through him. O how sweetly this breaks the heart, and makes us see the wisdom of God in the trial, as well as his power, faithfulness, loving-kindness, and tender mercy, in the deliverance out of it. Thus we get honey out of the carcass of the lion, and the places that threaten the greatest sorrow are productive of the sweetest evidences of eternal life begun.
I have written to you because I know you are often assailed with many fears, and neither you nor I can put far away the end of all things in this life.
Yours faithfully in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 206
London, 5 January 1841.
Dear Mrs. Tims,
It pleases God that I shall have a path of tribulation, but I begin to think it not strange, but that the Lord can cause much of his goodness to pass before me in the midst of the furnace. It was there the three children had the presence of Jesus Christ, and were carried safely through without the least harm; and there I too hope at times for much profit.
I have been for some few days considering what are the best means of profiting by affliction, and these words came as very suitable and profitable: "I gave my back to the smiters, and my cheeks to them that plucked off the hair; I hid not my face from shame and spitting." As it is said in the verse before, so the Lord in mercy "opened mine ear" to discipline, and by his grace "I was not rebellious". In this sad cast-down state I perceived a very sober watchful frame, especially to see by God's help, what was the secret movement of my spirit; for that measure of enlightened understanding which I think the Lord has given me, makes me very desirous of watching this point. If resentment be encouraged, if counter-charges are made, if a self-justifying spirit be cherished, at once to conflict with these, and by God's grace give my back to the smiters, though full of grief and mourning, yet with some little secret hope that "the Lord God will help me", so that I shall "not be confounded" (Isaiah 50:5-7).
When I am brought to this, then comes in a secret peace, and I return once more to my old promise, "Wait on the Lord, and he shall (yet) save you." This secret work is very little known to another by outward observation; but I am utterly astonished how such proceedings vanquish the enemy in all directions, so that he is not able to approach, and is for a season, wearied with oppressing. The Lord gently and sweetly whispered these words in my heart last night, when I was grievously upset with reproach: "In me you shall have peace." And indeed I had peace; all my burden was removed for the time.
When Shimei cursed David, how wisely he bore it, saying, "Let him alone . . . It may be that the Lord will look on my affliction, and that the Lord will requite me good for his cursing this day" (2 Samuel 16:12). Now, my dear friend, I feel oftentimes exactly so. The Lord has often doubly blessed me in thus turning my battles to the gate, and not attempting to fight them myself; and though I am so terrified and cast down in the onset, as to believe there can be no escape for me, yet this very fright drives me to my Stronghold, which never yet did fail me in the time of extremity. "Who is among you that fears the Lord, that obeys the voice of his servant, that walks in darkness, and has no light? Let him trust in the name of the Lord, and stay upon his God" (Isaiah 50:10). Let him venture on that name and he will find that he cannot be confounded. I have walked in this mournful path, and have been often brought to such a point as to fear my utter ruin; instead of which I have had nothing but repeated tokens and assurances of the Lord's help. These have always appeared when all prospect of help has been at a distance.
What, say you, has been the effect of these conflicts and conquests? I think I have been kept more alive to the things of God. My family, and their souls' concerns, have been nearer to my heart, and therefore liveliness in my prayers and much watchfulness have been maintained in begging the Lord to keep them in bounds; and much peace has been the consequence; and what the final issue may be I do not yet know. I have also found the Word more precious in the reading, the Lord often speaking upon my heart many things both of admonition and instruction; and in the Word preached I have felt a great trembling, receiving it not as the word of man, but as the message of God, which has had a very humbling effect, and has often sent me home with cries and tears. This is another way of giving my back to the smiters.
We read as soon as David acknowledged his sin, Nathan had his message, "The Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die" (2 Samuel 12:13). O what a mercy it is to be enabled to attend to these divine and spiritual things, what heavenly prosperity follows, and what admiration is excited of Christ's beauty and suitableness! How our spirits are engaged in this divine work, so as to have no spare time for reflecting upon persons or things, to bring about a stumbling somewhere or other! The hot furnace is a good place to cure that disorder, and brings the severest reflections upon our own depraved hearts. It makes me feel myself of all sinners chief, and of all saints least; and the sad and painful discovery of my nature's evil makes me keep silence when I am reproached; being yet secretly assured, "Your heart shall live that seek God."
Yours sincerely, James Bourne
Letter 207
(To E. L.) London, February 1841.
My dear Friend,
I was very glad to find that your present indisposition is attended with the hopes of a quick relief. Our spiritual maladies are not so easily removed. I have been in manifold exercises since I saw you, and have scarcely seen any way of escape, but the Lord has been my refuge. Fears within and fightings without troubled me on every side; "nevertheless, God that comforts them that are cast down" has often come to my relief in the very time of extremity. My sorest enemies, next to my own heart, are those who hold the truth in an unpurged conscience. These smite my life down to the ground, while they establish their own hope upon my ruins. This casts me down, and fills me with fear, and overwhelms my spirit, causing sleepless nights and sorrowful days; and I seem to thirst after the Lord, and cry, "Hear me speedily, O Lord, for my spirit fails. Hide not your face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down into the pit." In this struggle the compassion of the Lord is moved, and he gives me some secret intimation of his tender care and mercy. He still keeps me in a low place that boasting may be excluded, and that I may keep in remembrance the bitterness and evil of sin, and be humbled.
I do not find these exercises once in my life and then have done with them, but no sooner does one wave of trouble subside than another arises; so that I am made in some measure to understand that this captivity is for long, even as long as I live; only now and then mingled with divine and spiritual revivals, which "drop as the rain, and distill as the dew, as the small rain upon the tender herb, and as the showers upon the grass". You may say, This is a mournful religion, I want more comfort; but God declares, "This is not your rest;" your sin and mine has polluted it; yet these drops of heavenly dew upon the soul will teach us to say, "He is the Rock; his work is perfect, for all his ways are judgment; a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is he" (Deuteronomy 32:2-4).
This sort of sharp exercise will teach us distinctly the difference between the letter and the spirit, and between the Word of God, as a word only, and the divine and spiritual work upon the heart and conscience by the Spirit. When the Spirit of truth thus enters he guides us into all truth essential to salvation, and gives us a peculiar discriminating knowledge of truth and error; a discernment of a wrong spirit where there may be some right words, even so that "if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect".
These are dangers, which as yet you are not fully aware of. Your friendly bosom receives all who move themselves aright, and whose words give their color in the cup. You are little aware that at last they bite like a serpent, and sting like an adder. They have a peculiar soporiferous effect upon the conscience, and you will not know that death is there; but Solomon says, "Your heart shall utter perverse things." This is a terribly dangerous place, for it is "as he who lies on the top of a mast", or he who sleeps in the midst of a stormy sea of trouble, instead of praying (Proverbs 23:31-34). Nothing short of the power of God can cause any one to tremble at these dangers. How many are warned of them, and yet venture all, both body and soul, upon their own wisdom; and cannot or will not see that their hope is built on carnal reason, which must prove a sandy foundation, or that they make a false claim upon the Word, without the Spirit of God testifying his approbation, and sealing home upon the conscience that the Lord Jesus Christ has cleansed them from all their sin.
If that work of the Holy Spirit takes place, how it humbles the soul; and brings us out of the genteel religious world, as it is called; and makes us look back with abhorrence upon that part of our profession wherein we were then held fast until the rod of correction drove us out, and brought in a little more tender regard for the honor of God, a little more humiliation of self, and sober watchfulness into the nature of our communion with God, how far it affects us in society, and whether we can now spend our hours in levity or idle talk about many things that concern not the salvation of our souls. A due examination into these things (if we are made honest) will presently discover the nature and extent of our profession, and whether the heart be duly affected, or only the head furnished. If we walk tenderly, I am persuaded that conscience will do its office, and we shall soon come to the true state of the case. The Lord's complaint is, "You will not come unto me that you may have life," but will lean to your own understanding. Solomon says again, "He who trusts in his own heart is a fool"; because it is "deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?" The fool says he can, and there lies his ruin. May you and I be able to receive instruction from the Lord, suspect our own hearts, and learn to lean upon the Beloved in all this wilderness journey of life we have to pass through; then shall we safely arrive at the end of our course, and it shall prove the salvation of our souls.
Yours faithfully, James Bourne
Letter 208
(To Miss S.) London, 7 February 1841
My dear Friend,
It pleases God that his people shall be called to fight, and not to play. He will teach them, not always with the rod and the furnace, but often with the sweetest and most endearing tenderness and kindness that can be impressed on the heart of man, how to be good soldiers and to endure hardness. I am often greatly depressed, fearing the worst of evils, and especially lest the hand of God should signally go out against either me or my family. In my mourning and manifold confessions the Lord softens my spirit, and by a few words, such as, "Fear not," he looks so kindly at me, that I find nothing left for me to do but to fall flat in the dust before him, and in this my abject condition entreat his mercy; and instead of rebukes and reproach, I find the sweetest tokens of his love. The lessons this teaches me are, to keep no secret from him; to trust in him at all times more freely; to feel assured that the heart shall live that seeks God; and to believe that all the temporal affairs of his people are as much the object of his notice and care as the spiritual. "Not a hair of your head shall perish." I found this very sweet yesterday, and while it was fresh on my spirit, I so firmly believed the truth as to be enabled to cast all my care upon the Lord. And though it quickly gathers again, yet by the mercy of God these lessons are not learned entirely in vain; for day and night unceasingly I am led to watch the movements of the Lord within, and how far he will condescend to clear my way, that hope may abound, and that his hand may be seen towards those he has committed to my charge. For my soul and the souls he has given me I would gladly seek his face, that we may be bound in the same bundle of life with the Lord my God (1 Samuel 25:29).
I do not see how spiritual life can be kept up without this spiritual anxiety. Many of my sweetest evidences of Christ's everlasting love to my soul have sprung out of these concerns; and I think this is walking with God. The Lord said of Abraham, "I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord to do justice and judgment" (Genesis 18:19). This is what I pray for night and day; and though (like Abraham in the case of Ishmael) I may not find it fully accomplished, yet to discover some token of God's favor is an inconceivable mercy, and has a very peculiar general effect, so that we do not become like the salt that has lost its savor.
Yours in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 209
London, 14 February 1841.
Dear W. B.,
I have been greatly exercised and much cast down of late. God only knows why you are continually, with some others, on my mind and in my prayers. I do not know when I have felt such floods of sorrow and fear. Under these feelings the Lord led me to these words for my morning's reading yesterday: "He has put down the mighty from their seats, and exalted them of low degree. He has filled the hungry with good things, but the rich he has sent empty away." This greatly encouraged me; and in my meditation these words came with sweetness: "I would seek unto God, and unto God would I commit my cause, . . . for he disappoints the devices of the crafty, . . . but he saves the poor from the sword, from their mouth, and from the hand of the mighty. So the poor has hope, and iniquity stops her mouth" (Job 5:8-16). Psalm 107 was also very encouraging to me; these words: "He sets the poor on high from affliction; the righteous shall see it and rejoice," came with such unspeakable and personal application as to comfort me exceedingly with a sweet sense of the Lord's love, tenderness, and care; and the last verse crowned the whole, and showed me the unspeakable love of Christ to his afflicted people, and to me as one of them. While pondering over this heavenly gale of Christ's everlasting love, which brought me so clean out of my sorrows, these words were gently whispered in my heart, Was ever sorrow like unto my sorrow? In them I heard the voice of my Beloved, to quell my grief, and to make me lay to heart that my sin had caused his sorrow; and that I had need to abase myself, and look only at his sovereign mercy, which had visited me in such a low condition. It wrought contrition and godly sorrow, with an inexpressible tenderness towards him, while I was led, like Job, to abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.
I know not when I had so sweet a token; but my changes are very many. Things arose from all quarters, which caused the clouds to gather and threaten another storm; but when evening came, I was led, I think by the Lord, to these words for this morning's reading: "The hand of the Lord was with him" (Luke 1:66). I first saw Samuel, when young; how the hand of the Lord was with him, and brought him through all his difficulties. I then thought of David when first presented to Saul; how the hand of the Lord was with him, and brought him through all his difficulties. The history of Joseph also shows the overruling power of God; and Jacob, though turned out of doors, yet protected and preserved, returns home greatly increased after twenty years' absence. Naomi said she must no more be so called, but Mara, because the Lord had dealt bitterly with her; but read to the end, and you will see how the hand of the Lord is towards his people.
I found Psalm 89 a sweet key to my text: "You have a mighty arm; strong is your hand, and high is your right hand. Justice and judgment are the habitation of your throne; mercy and truth shall go before your face." The hand of the Lord is seen in giving knowledge of salvation by the remission of sin. We can scarcely feel it possible that this happy day should ever arrive; but the hand of the Lord brings it about, and shows us that it is not by our might or power, but by the Spirit, that this work is wrought in the heart, and that this precious gift is only bestowed upon them that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death; that such poor creatures as you and I may have peace.
Whatever you may think, I am sure I have felt this day that there is no sinner so great as myself; and by the deep self-abasement I found at the sight, I believe it was the Spirit of God that showed me this. When I had finished my reading, I went to my friend Mr. Maddy, and told him of my cast-down condition and the sorrow under which I labored; he endeavored to cheer me, and said, This sorrow is for something good. I was obliged to go out on business, and when I entered Portman Square, I said very mournfully, Lord, is it true what my friend said? Is this your work that I feel? Are you humbling me? All this was very sorrowfully spoken, and I added, Are all the good things you have promised me to go for nothing? I felt as if it could scarcely be so, though fears were ready to admit the thought; but just then these words were whispered, "He will exalt you in due time;" and with them I found the sweetest return of Christ's loving-kindness that I can express. It melted me into tears of contrition and gratitude, and made me feel more abject in myself, and more safe in the eternal love of Father, Son, and Spirit, than it is possible for me to describe. My thoughts of praise and adoration went as quick as lightning to acknowledge the infinite condescension of the Lord in regarding the low estate of his servant, and showing me that in the world I shall have tribulation, but in him shall always find a Friend.
This is the Friend I want strongly to recommend to you. I know your fears, and I am sure they will be multiplied, and that you will have some bitter throes of conscience, when Hell and death approach. I find them overwhelming; but the hand of the Lord will be with you to sustain you and make known to you that "he has raised up a horn of salvation for us", by which he will push aside all his enemies and ours; and will make manifest that, however secret or small the beginning may be, yet by this power and this hand, he will bring forth the top stone with shouting (Zechariah 4:6, 7). You will naturally say, Why do you tell all this to me? Because I have been so continually mindful of you in my prayers, and think I have found such tokens of good as will accompany your salvation.
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 210
London, 6 March 1841.
Dear Miss H.,
The nearer I come to my end the more my fears are excited, lest I be found sleeping, and not listening to what the Lord says. This leads to much secret examination, confession, and repentance, and I should be of all men most miserable, if the Lord did not return in mercy to my soul. The judgments of God are a great deep. Old as I am, I see fresh instances of them towards his people, unexpected, unfathomable, unsearchable; and these things the Lord does that men may fear before him. A light profession is no better than the crackling of thorns under a pot; it is full of noise and outward zeal, but has no real solid work of the Spirit wrought upon the heart, and therefore dies in the time of extremity. I have seen much that bid fair in the onset; but when the blessed Lord of the vineyard came to see the fruit, it was all wild grapes (Isaiah 5:2).
These things are set forth in the Scriptures for you and me to lay to heart; that we may not hastily conclude there is no fear of our being found in the like case; but very cautiously inquire what the Lord says about it, and whether he bears testimony in our conscience that we are his. You will say, Have I not told you in my letter what the Lord has done for me? True; but through the unceasing power of the enemy there will be a necessity for the renewal of the Lord's visits continually, or we shall lose sight of our hope. Nothing confirms the past tokens of God's love so sweetly as present tokens of his being with us and in us.
I thought you cut short your last letter, only answering one part of mine. Could you clearly discriminate between a minister of the letter and one of the Spirit? The minister of the letter, though preaching every truth, tender in his walk, and approved of men, yet not being sent of God, cannot minister the Spirit to the afflicted, but will always bring them into bondage, and leave them there. "There is a way that seems right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death." A minister of the Spirit is one whom God instructs, and sends, and to whom he gives authority. His Word shall enter, and it shall be as the sword of the Spirit, which shall effectually instruct the child of God in such terrible and deep lessons of humiliation as shall bring him in hopeless and helpless; and here it shall also set before him an open door, even Christ Jesus, while the Spirit working faith in the heart brings in the Savior, as the only Friend suitable and all-sufficient to meet his troubles, counteract his despair, and give him a sweet hope of eternal life. The minister of the Spirit being himself the subject of manifold temptations will take heed carefully to watch how the Lord helps him, and that he does not fall asleep in his trials, but fights hard against the world, the flesh, and the devil; and manifests his walking in the Spirit by his prevalency with the Lord. Such an one will be able to set before an afflicted people much encouragement, and show them that his Christ is "a tried stone, a sure foundation"; and this will be very different from head knowledge and a dry description of the work of God.
I hope you will be able to discern the difference, and to see your danger. There is no end of false Christs; many cry Lo, here! and Lo, there! but after all that is said about the universal spread of the gospel, and the wonderful light of the present day, the Savior's words must be true: "Strait is the gate, and narrow is the way that leads unto life, and few there be that find it." "This is a hard saying; who can hear it?" I am often charged with being too narrow and exclusive, but I must tell you all my heart. The judgments of God have made me tremble on all hands, both in my own family and myself; and I hope "my soul has them still in remembrance, and is humbled within me". This does not work bondage, but filial fear and holy awe and reverence, and what certainly becomes a sinner saved by sovereign grace.
May the Lord instruct you in these things more and more, and especially not to take things for granted, for all is not gold that glitters, nor is all vital godliness that seems to move itself aright, and shows a fair color in the cup (Proverbs 23:31).
Yours faithfully in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 211
London, 16 March 1841.
My dear W. B.,
I must tell you again, you are in the strong hand of God, and he will take care that you shall not escape. You are ready to say, Why should I be here so long? I reply, Would you be like a fool brayed in a mortar? (Proverbs 27:22). Then remember,
"Your Lord for nothing would not chide;
You highly should'st esteem
The cross that's sent to purge your pride,
And make you more like him."I am in hopes your trouble will prove to be that which God calls "Jacob's trouble", different from all other trouble, divine, spiritual, which, though it turns man to destruction, yet has eternal life as its issue. This is brought about by the wonder-working power of God, and is attended with ten thousand changes.
O how often am I brought to the very brink of giving all up! but my judgment being enlightened, I perceive I can gain nothing by that; therefore I continue to cry, and find relief in the end. This day I have been comforted in the meditation of these words: "You have feared continually every day because of the fury of the oppressor, as if he were ready to destroy", which fury is in a broken law, fastening the sentence of death upon the conscience; but God says, "I am the Lord your God, that divided the sea, whose waves roar", (at times with great fury). "I have covered you in the shadow of my hand . . . and say unto Zion, You are my people" (Isaiah 51:12-16). Ah! (say you) this was spoken to Zion. Yes; and it was also spoken to me, who am a poor, weak, cast-down, afflicted person, with no more ground of hope than you. The Lord is no respecter of persons, but all that call upon him in sincerity will and must find the truth of his Word.
Are there not times and seasons in which a ray of light shines with truth and clearness upon your soul, and though it be but transient, conveys for the time the testimony of God to the sincerity of your spiritual pursuits, and counteracts the despairing feelings that assail you? This testimony of God is the sweetest foundation of hope, and brings in eternal life as the end of that feeble faith which is so often hidden.
Be sure you do not trifle with your profession of religion; you have light enough to know the difference between the professor and the possessor. The former abounds everywhere, and ends in everlasting disappointment; but one grain of godly fear will carry you through all your troubles, however great or long. It will always prove a fountain of life, and bring up the sinking spirit from the depths of Hell. It is a part of the divine nature which the Lord imparts to his broken-hearted children. I have found this grace wrap round my very soul, to buoy me up, when everything else seemed quite gone. It is a rich treasure, that will make us put up with poverty, sickness, and disappointment in all shapes: it will allow God to choose our inheritance for us, and teach us to say, "He has done all things well."
But mind, while we live on earth, we shall possess two natures and that which is, and always was, corrupt, will not be patient, resigned, humble, but the contrary to all this. Yet the new nature will conflict with these evils, and will not submit to be domineered over by them. It will so cry, and fight, as to bring in the promised help of the Lord, and thus manifest the secret power and efficacy of this divine and heavenly grace, called the fear of God.
So faint not, my dear friend; the battle will be hot and sore but "wait you on the Lord, and he shall save you." The victory is sure in him; and though carnal fear and terrors run high, yet I, with you, must look at the Captain of our salvation, his strength and power, his willingness, his loving-kindness and tender mercy and if he but return one look toward us, we shall certainly find that one look contains eternal life. Bless his holy name, I have often found it so; so did Mrs. Gilpin, and so will you. It is this that so endears the Savior to us. We know no grief so great as offending him, and yet how treacherous our hearts are! Do not give up; you will never find another such Friend; you will say: "My beloved is the chief among ten thousand;" "yes, he is altogether lovely." My daily prayer is that you may come to the full possession of this rich treasure.
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 212
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 7 April 1841.
My dear Friend,
None but such as God takes in hand really know what it is to be pulled to pieces. How I see on all hands not one escapes! Expectations cut off, purposes thwarted, designs frustrated, until at length the destruction appears, to which God will turn those whom he purposes to bid to return and live (Psalm 90:3). This destruction does not only come at the beginning, but as long as we live the Lord will strike at all our fleshly expectations to which we are (at least I am) continually subject.
I was very sorrowful last night, and much cast down. I have lately pondered much the way in which I have been led the last two years, and have looked at the repeated and continual difficulties in which I have been involved; and yet I think I never found spiritual life more in exercise, nor such frequent visits from the Lord to comfort me. I needed the comfort, because the nature of my troubles led me greatly to suspect and fear many things in myself, and that these would accumulate like a great mountain, which I should not be able to pass over on a dying bed. This was not a slight reflection that soon passed off; but it has been a long continued judging of myself, every now and then attended with such fears as like a flood overwhelmed me. I have at different periods had some very sweet and precious and encouraging words applied to my heart, which have comforted me much for a time; but the returning of the clouds after the rain has greatly depressed me.
This morning early, being desirous of having some kind token from the Lord, and feeling an anxious desire to have clear work, I said, Lord, did I offend and grieve your most Holy Spirit in the matter of my daughter's illness in any way? or did I offend in the affair of F. J.? Did I offend in my communications with Hertford or Pulverbach? or have I grieved your Spirit in my writing to other places? O Lord, you only know whether I was simple and sincere. Have my communications with our own church grieved you? Have you not made me truly, in secret, to desire your honor? and though I am of all sinners chief, yet have you not made me honest? O Lord, if it please you, show me if I walk in anything wherein I offend your blessed Majesty. Here the Lord softened my spirit, and I could not proceed; my heart began to melt, and a ray of heavenly light showed me all the way I had come; and though it had been a path of great humiliation, yet I perceived that underneath were the everlasting arms of love and mercy. Thus was the Lord pleased to break in upon my soul with a clear token of his love, and the sweetest sense of his approbation, without one rebuke.
This light of life discovered many things which it is my wisdom to withhold; but it certainly discovered this, that if the Lord gives us simplicity and sincerity, you and I may rest assured we shall be found among the number of his chosen ones, and shall make it manifest that "in him we live and move and have our being". It is inexpressibly sweet to have such a Friend; how often has he saved us from despair!
The Lord has been with me much of late in my morning readings, and I have felt the great importance of the truths spoken, though for the most part I have been "as a sparrow alone upon the house top". I am much surprised in reading John Knox and others, to find the very same things that exercise me set forth by them as their trials. This comforts me with a prospect of a happy issue, and reconciles me to the cross.
Remember me very kindly to Mrs. Gilpin, and tell her not to be disheartened because she perceives the battle waxes hot, but to remember what I have written often before, how the Lord said, "Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." This is not our rest, and the Lord will make us to know it; and he will also make us to know the sweet refreshing rest that is to be found in all the kind visits of the Lord Jesus Christ. These more than compensate for all our troubles, and afford us a sweet perception of the reality of eternal life, and of being forever with the Lord. May you and she have a goodly portion in these things is the prayer of
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 213
London, 24 April 1841.
Dear Mr. Maydwell,
It appears to me that there has been a long quarrel and contention between God and your brother's conscience; and that he cannot persuade the Lord to give place, no, not for one moment; nor to withdraw his hand one inch. Such is the obstinacy of the human heart that it would die in the contest rather than give up. What are the weapons with which such contend and fight? Feigned humility, dissembled love, false confidence, pride and presumption in ten thousand shapes, all centering in one charge which the Savior makes (John 9:41), "Now you say, We see; therefore your sin remains." There it will remain to all eternity, unpurged and unwashed, unless the sovereign mercy of God break the neck of ignorance, and open the blind eyes to see the awful place that we are in. If you say, I wish I could see how this may be done, I reply,
"God moves in a mysterious way,
His wonders to perform;"and perhaps in this especial case he has a double object in view; one, to bring a trial upon you; and the other, to manifest the riches and power of his sovereign grace.
For many years I was suffered to eat my own bread, and wear my own apparel, and call Jesus mine; but the Lord contended with me by various disappointments and cross providences, which brought me to an extremity; nor was it until this took place, that the branch of the lord was to me beautiful and glorious. What made him so beautiful and glorious then? It was because he washed away my filth and purged the blood of my enmity, "by the spirit of judgment, and by the spirit of burning". Then upon all this glorious work he put a defense (Isaiah 4:2-5). The grace of humility, repentance unto life, godly sorrow, and all the graces of the Spirit, defend from the spirit of the world, conceit of wisdom, and all those foolish and lofty imaginations, which are no better than a bubble in the air, bringing in nothing but the sorrow of the world and death filled with the conceit of life.
O what a wonderful mercy it is to have such a Friend as this, who will not suffer us to go headlong to destruction! How long I seemed to be in this dangerous place! I now look back with horror, for I was as one of two grinding at the mill, of two in a bed of security, and knew it not; and my fellows and companions are still left in the ruins of the fall, and the vain and fair beginnings of their free-will profession have issued in all manner of errors and immorality, the end of which I know to be death eternal.
Who knows but that in the secret purpose of God your brother may be thus taken in hand, and in all directions clean wiped out, "as a man wipes a dish, wiping it, and turning it upside down" (2 Kings 21:13); and that this may be the preparation of the heart, the Lord himself turning out the buyers and sellers in his heart with the cords of affliction, and making room for himself?
These are times for great sobriety, while the especial hand of God is upon us or close round about us. You and I may say, How shall we escape all the threatened dangers? I can only reply in the words of the prophet, "It shall come to pass." That is all the Lord will explain, "It shall come to pass;" and that is enough for you and me. There shall be "a place of refuge, and a covert from storm and rain" (Isaiah 4:3-6). Have we not always found it so in the time of extremity? "Hitherto has the Lord helped us," while many have stumbled and fallen, and have been broken and snared and taken. Isaiah seems to show us the way he escaped, when he says, "I will wait upon the Lord who hides his face from the house of Jacob, and I will look for him;" according to that sweet invitation, "Look unto me, and be you saved, all the ends of the earth." And the Savior takes especial notice of this look, saying, "If two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in Heaven; for where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them."
When the disciples were alarmed at the tempestuous sea, the Savior appeared near at hand, and they were soon at the end of their difficulties; this was the issue of their long and toilsome looking, seeking, fearing, trembling; and it shows that he hears the cry of the poor, and will not despise their prayer.
May the Lord manifest himself abundantly to you, that you may be able to open your mouth wide, that it may be filled; and that you may see the wisdom of God displayed in all the various dispensations you are brought into, and may understand that they have all one end, namely, the glory of God and the salvation of your soul.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 214
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 29 May 1841.
My dear Friend,.
There is nothing more common, in an early profession of religion, than for the enemy to watch the constitutional or besetting sin, and to work upon that, and if possible in some way or other, to enforce the absolute necessity of being found in the full exercise of it, covered with the name of godly fear.
For instance, if I am naturally indolent, the enemy will soon impress me (but all in a wrong aspect) with such truths as these: I can do nothing; I cannot quicken my own soul; I must wait God's time; I must not be impatient. Thus the poor creature, before he well knows his right hand from his left, has these shades put upon his conscience to hoodwink him in every proceeding in life; and he is so bewildered as not to see nor to suspect the snare.
Waiting upon God is a very active principle, and so is waiting for him; and he who waits in the Spirit will leave no stone unturned until he is fully satisfied the Lord is directing him. Would you know who is the man that is not actuated by godly fear, and makes not God his refuge? It is he who sits still, and vainly imagines that matters will come right, and makes no use of God's appointed means. Such an one not only meets with disappointment, but is surrounded with spiritual death, darkness, and confusion of mind; and is not aware of its being the consequence of that slothful inactive spirit which binds him down to the earth.
As it respects your friend Mr. D., I look upon it there is a double necessity that he should unceasingly seek the Lord that he would unfold the mystery of his providence now. This seems to be a peculiar turn in life with him, and a wrong step might mark his future life with much bitterness and sorrow; therefore he should deeply lay it to heart. The enemy is very busy; the issue none knows but God. If he makes the Lord his refuge, he will be carried safely through all his difficulties. He will find that God "has determined the times before appointed", as well as the bounds of our habitation; and for this purpose has declared that we shall seek the Lord, and feel after him, and find him; and in that exercise (however painful), understand that he is not very far from us (Acts 17:26, 27).
It is sweet to know that the Lord's people are his portion and inheritance; therefore "when he separated the sons of Adam, he fixed the bounds of the people according to the number of the children of Israel." Though he finds us "in a desert land, and in the waste howling wilderness", he leaves us not as he finds us, but leads us about by various dispensations, and instructs us and keeps us, and never takes his eye from us. But remember, as the eagle with its young, so he stirs up our nest (there is no such thing as being still or inactive), he flutters over us, takes us on his wings into many terrible dispensations; but in his wisdom he never leaves us, nor will, until he teaches us "to suck honey out of the rock and oil out of the flinty rock" (Deuteronomy 32:8-13).
Tell your friend to be cautious. It is a great salvation! he knows not how great; for eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor can the heart conceive what God "has prepared for him that waits for him". It is a great thing to be a lost sheep of the house of Israel; to such the Savior is sent, and such shall find him. Tell him also to lay to heart the honor of God and of his cause, that he may bring no reproach upon either the ministers or the people of God, either by odd ways, singular proceedings, inconsistent indolence, or any of such faults, a list too long to name.
If the conscience be tender, there will be a due regard to these things, and the footsteps of God's providence will be narrowly watched. Wherever we can trace his marks, there (like Standfast) we shall covet to step, and nowhere else. The apostle says, "Immediately I conferred not with flesh and blood." "Not my will, but your, be done." In these exercises we perceive the coming and going of the Lord, his smiles and frowns; and when sin is charged home upon the conscience, either in exceeding or falling short, we hasten to the fountain opened, and have no rest until the pardon is procured. Thus by the various circumstances of outward things the Lord causes the inward and spiritual life to grow and increase.
I hope your friend will tenderly attend to these things; I am sure he will find his advantage in so doing. It will keep him from what the wise man says, "By much slothfulness the building decays, and by idleness of hands the house drop through." With the sincerest good wishes for him, I remain,
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 215
(To Mr. Nunn) Croft Castle, Leominster, 25 June 1841.
My dear Friend,
I have been very anxious to have some especial token of the Lord's approbation and blessing on my journey and employment here. In reading Psalm 36 I was surprised to find my spirit soften, and the Lord draw near; and when I came to these words, "he abhors not evil," I paused, and presently a great sweetness came into my heart; my soul was filled with self-abasement, and I felt the witness of the Spirit that God had made me to abhor evil, and that that was the cause of my present manifold fears. This power continued, and the following words suited my feelings, "Your mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens; and your faithfulness reaches unto the clouds: your righteousness is like the great mountains; your judgments are a great deep: O Lord, you preserve man and beast." I cannot express my feelings, and how I desired to acknowledge with all my heart the goodness and faithfulness of God to me. This left a very great awe upon my spirit, which led me to consider what the Savior says, "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil," which we are sure to fall into, if we are led into temptation.
Afterwards I opened the Bible upon these words in Deuteronomy 7: "You are a holy people unto the Lord your God." O what an awe attended the reading, and what fear lest I should grieve the Spirit of God; and yet with it a beautiful sense of the mercy and favor of God in Christ Jesus. I felt a sweet acquiescence in what the Lord there shows us, namely, that he did not set his love upon anything in us, for we are but the essence of sin; and when I came to these words: "but because the Lord loved you," they filled me with unutterable astonishment and praise. O what holy awe and fear I felt all this time, and grief at myself for what I am, have been, and shall be! I was led to be very earnest in prayer that the Lord would preserve my spirit, and keep alive his fear in my heart, and continue to give me that holy light and sweet unction in reading his Word; for there it is he reveals himself in justice and righteousness, and judgment and mercy. Then it continues, "because he would keep the oath which he had sworn, . . . has the Lord brought you out with a mighty hand, and redeemed you from the house of bondmen," that is from the bondage of sin unto the glorious liberty of the gospel. I felt a sweet caution upon my spirit, attended with much savor, as I continued reading, "If you hearken to these judgments, and keep them, and do them, the Lord your God . . . will love you, and bless you, and multiply you;" and so on to the end of that chapter. All this has been an inexpressible comfort to me, yet leaves a very great awe upon my spirit, and causes many prayers that I may not lose the sweet power I find in reading the Word.
It is a sweet consolation in pain or sickness to feel that the Lord knows all our troubles. The very thought of the words "if need be" (1 Peter 1:6) stills my repinings, and makes me to ponder the cause of my manifold exercises; and I find they are not only to humble me, but also to teach me to listen to what the Lord says: "Said I not unto you, that, if you would believe, you should see the glory of God?" This leads me to consider in what way the glory of God should be manifested in my affliction. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit, which is profitable both in the church of God and in my family. Again, if my affliction be sanctified, I shall tenderly regard every part of God's Word, and shall consider nothing is quite as it should be, if sin has any dominion. Affliction, if not sanctified, makes me imperious and not to be controlled, petulant and angry. Such things fill me with inconceivable fear; and if charged with them I cannot sleep, lest the Lord should take vengeance of my inventions. Many confessions are made, and many mournful and almost hopeless cries are put up, and not until the Lord draws near can I rest. When he comes and breaks my heart, then a little child may lead me; and this is a discovery of the glory of God, and the way in which it works in my heart.
I often think of you all, and know some among you have prayed for me. I never felt a greater need. Remember me to Mrs. Nunn; I hope she is much in earnest, and has good tokens of the Lord's favor; for he says he will come as a thief in the night.
Believe me yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 216
(To M. and J, G.) Leominster, 29 June 1841.
My dear Friends,
Although I have been so silent of late, yet I have not been an insensible observer of your various conflicts, temptations, and afflictions. I would desire deeply to impress upon your minds the need for the fiery trial; and that you may not think it strange, the Lord has kept on record, from Genesis to Revelation, innumerable instances of his people's afflictions and their deliverances out of them. We know not how great sinners we are, nor can we conceive how infinitely wise and just God is. His judgments are an unfathomable deep, and we see not how far in his infinite wisdom he may go; this calls for great humiliation on our part.
Abel lost his life, though he obtained the favor and approbation of God. Abraham found no deliverance, until the knife was at the throat of his son. This is the time of extremity. Jacob must be driven about for twenty years before he could hope for the fulfillment of the promise, and on the first opening of the door for his escape he is threatened by his brother; yet through all his complicated difficulties the Lord proved faithful. One would have thought that Joseph's first trial of being cast into the pit might have sufficed, but God knows there is a need for continual and repeated trouble to keep our proud hearts dependent upon the Lord. Such were Joseph's troubles that every new trial fitted him for greater honors; and ours also, if it please God to sanctify them, will yield the peaceable fruits of righteousness. Moses, though the meekest man, and one with whom the Lord spoke face to face, yet in the trial muttered perverseness and went beyond the orders God had given him, for which thing the Lord would not suffer him to go into the promised land; nevertheless we find that though the displeasure of the Lord was manifest in this, his end was unutterable peace; thus God mingles mercy with his judgments.
What shall we say of Job? God says, "Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth?" yet he must be tried; and the manifold afflictions laid upon him brought him down to a very low ebb, and manifested many things in his heart which before he did not expect to find; nor did the Lord cease to contend until he was made not to pity, but mourn, and to abhor himself, "and repent in dust and ashes". Some of our friends suspect that there must be something wrong when continued affliction, poverty, or sickness abide upon us; and certainly there is some truth in the suspicion. I believe Job's self-righteous spirit was one cause why the Lord contended; and you and I have much pride and ignorance which the Lord will not overlook.
One affliction and no more we perceive will not suffice. We, like the apostle, are troubled on every side; but these afflictions will be light, if we are enabled with the eye of faith to look at the things that are eternal. What makes the misery is perpetually looking at the things that are seen; we cannot suppose there can be an end; we reason, and set things down, as coming to pass, which God has designed never shall come to pass; also we draw out lines for the accomplishment of our ends, where God never moves; and we get sadly confounded and sink into despondency. This is always the issue of natural and fleshly wisdom; for God will confound it. Joseph little thought that the direct road to be chief and governor of all Egypt lay through the pit whence the Midianites drew him.
"God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;"but wonders he will yet perform in behalf of his afflicted people. It is yet left on record, "Is anything too hard for the Lord?"
Salvation is a great thing, and your eyes and hearts must be more set upon the heavenly inheritance; and when you are enabled to give up the treasures of Egypt, then you will find no end of the sweetness and power of the unsearchable riches of Christ. "Be sober, be vigilant;" for your adversary the devil is seeking to devour you with fear and despair. Jesus Christ is stronger than all that oppose. Cleave closely to him, and you will find your safety there. Use the Psalmist's prayer perpetually, "Be you my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort;" and may the Lord bless you.
I remain yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 217
(To his Daughters H. P. and H.) Leominster, 3 July 1841.
My dear Children,
In this latter period of my life I begin to see some of the fearful places where I stumbled and fell, and also some of the immeasurable and free grace which restored me; but I find that my backsliding heart, continually prone to wander, is the cause of those perpetual blows and rebukes which overtake me; and though all of them have been much mixed with mercy, they have left me so sore that I dread another stroke. I think this is God's design that I may deeply lay to heart what an evil and bitter thing it is to sin against God, for he will surely take vengeance of the sins of his people. This sort of exercise, sanctified, will produce godly fear, which, like a sentinel, will keep the heart in the midst of temptation, and let no strange thing pass through without strict examination, confession, and pardon. It is in consequence of my having been so exercised that I write to you; first, to warn you of places of danger, and caution you to stand aloof and, secondly, to encourage you to believe that you shall find in this exercise that nothing is too hard for the Lord, though everything is too hard for us, if we presume to manage it according to the wisdom of the flesh. If you are diligent and watchful in all these places, you cannot tell how hope, under the worst appearances, will counteract despair and despondency. Living at a distance from the Lord always produces a looking at the things that are seen; and it pleases the Lord to put a canker-worm at that root, and then murmuring and repining are sure to follow, and these are not the fruits of the Spirit.
If your lives are spared, still you cannot long have the privilege of the present ministry; therefore take heed that it proves fruitful. It is a sad mark when the ministry is unprofitable; you may be sure that you have in some way offended him who has sent both the messenger and the message; therefore search this out by confession and prayer, and never rest until the Lord appears again in the public ordinances; and be sure to pray for and seek the peace of spiritual Jerusalem.
If you are enabled steadily to watch and pray for wisdom and discretion in your daily conversation, you will find that the Lord Jesus Christ is faithful to his Word, and not only will he fit you for everything to which he appoints you, but the peace of God will rule in your hearts, and a sweet communion be kept up, together with those evidences that accompany salvation. Thus what God has so sweetly joined together, let not the flesh, nor a fleshly walk in independence of God, put asunder. Be sure diligently to seek and cherish unity, so that no fleshly attachment shall supersede that which is divine. If jealousies appear, be sure to take them with mournful confession to the Lord, and never rest until you can in his strength accomplish this word: "In honor preferring one another." Be cautious how and where the spirit of the world creeps in, for it will make its inroad by all the faculties and senses we possess, and in so subtle a manner that we are often deeply entangled in the snare before we feel the danger. Be always suspicious and jealous of yourselves, and remember God's testimony: "The heart is deceitful above all things," beyond what you can conceive. If there be the least lowering upon your spirit, do not begin to consider from what quarter it comes, or whether it be a temptation, but be sure to spread it before the Lord, for he alone can help. If the enemy can tempt you to reason, or to mend it by a stricter observance of many things, you are already in the snare. Christ says, "I am the way, the truth, and the life;" so that all the ways that the naturally wise and prudent use lead only to death.
May the Lord multiply mercy toward you, and not suffer you to live in the spirit of the world, and all your days be unprofitable to the church of God. May shame cover your faces at the thought of such a thing, and make you much in earnest to maintain a good conscience toward God in all things. So prays
Your affectionate father, James Bourne
Letter 218
(To the Rev. W. Maddy ) Leominster, 6 July 1841.
My dear Friend,
I have, by the blessing of God, of late years considered much the causes of spiritual decay and the continual darkness that overtakes us; and I cannot but believe it is for want of a true reverence for the Word of God. We seem to receive the doctrines therein contained, and to pay some regard to the promises the Lord makes to his afflicted people; and perhaps you will say, What more need we? Carefully read the Epistles, and you will find the apostles always follow up their doctrine with counsel, and show the necessity of the fruits and effects of the divine work upon the heart being openly manifested. Where this is not regarded, there will be much darkness and distance from God. If I pay not due reverence to such a word as this: "Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:21), I shall fall into bondage, and find my prayer shut out. It will prove a hindrance to my approaches to God, for "if I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me" (Psalm 66:18).
I was much struck this morning in reading 1 Thessalonians 5, "You are all the children of light, and the children of the day; we are not of the night, nor of darkness; therefore let us not sleep as do others, but let us watch and be sober." The apostle gives this reason: "God has not appointed us to wrath, but to obtain salvation by our Lord Jesus Christ;" and then adds, "We beseech you, brethren," and again, "We exhort you, . . . Quench not the Spirit." As though he said, If you attend not to the word of exhortation, you will find no end of misery and the sensible lack of the Lord's presence; you will have no communion with the Lord Jesus Christ; no communion with his people; no blessing of God upon the works of your hands.
How difficult it is to come to the apostle's words, "Being reviled we bless" (1 Corinthians 4:12); yet I am firmly persuaded if we can find grace and humility so to walk, we shall have abundant peace and composure of mind. I have been in the midst of contention and war, and there have had no end of support in finding these words applied to me: "Say not in your heart, I will recompense evil; but wait you on the Lord, and he shall save you." O how true and faithful is the Lord to his Word! I am sure we may wholly confide in him. When all friends fail, and all refuge too, he will delight in and honor them that hope in his mercy. Joseph had but a poor prospect of retrieving his character; he little thought that the prison was the way to be lord of all Egypt. But before honor there must be humility; or we should all prove like a ship without ballast.
It is marvelous how earnestly Paul, in that same Epistle to the Thessalonians, prays that spiritual unity may exist and manifest itself, to the end that our hearts may be established unblamably in holiness before God. This can be no other way than by the blood of Jesus Christ, which cleanses from all sin, and by which alone we walk with God in peace and equity. It is not in vain that it is said: "Let your garments be always white, and let your head lack no ointment" (Ecclesiastes 9:8). A profession without this is like salt that has lost its savor, and in time of affliction it leaves the soul to despair of all things, which I dread exceedingly in these my latter days.
I cannot express my anxiety here that my employers should be satisfied with what it pleases God to enable me to accomplish; otherwise I suspect that something in me causes the Lord to withdraw his favor from me. I little thought of ever being so far from home again, but I trust the Lord will preserve me, and enable me to finish this my last engagement; which often brings to my mind the first, forty-one years since. I must acknowledge the goodness and mercy and faithfulness of God which have followed me all my days, and I am quite sure that he who walks uprightly shall want no good thing. May every blessing attend you.
I remain your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 219
(To Mr. R. Taylor) Leominster, 10 July 1841.
My dear Friend in the path of great tribulation,
I am ashamed that I do not profit as you do in the furnace of affliction. I often think of your troubles, and know not how to pity you, but rather rejoice in that the Lord is your hope and help, and never forgets you. He is with you in meditation and prayer, and in reading his Word; and though your pains may at times be very racking, yet the Lord's all-sufficiency counteracts your evils, so as to make them not evil, but good. Even in your temporal concerns I know that the Lord will direct you, inasmuch as you make him your refuge. He never fails. No one can tell for another what shall be the line he should walk in. The Lord appoints and marks out our boundaries, and it is our mercy to mind his marks. If we were to follow the counsel of the best men we might err. They cannot fathom God's design: the Lord does not often show a man what shall be the line of things for his friend, but he is pleased to show each individual what is the course he must take; and he who tenderly regards this teaching shall never want a wise counselor. He will often lead through seas which man cannot fathom, and especially will teach us to walk by faith, and not by sight.
I am much comforted with what you say respecting honoring the Lord with your substance and the first fruits of all your increase. I have been greatly harassed about this, and the enemy has thrust sore at my profession altogether, because I had not so much money to give to the poor of the flock as some have. But you show me that praise for spiritual mercies, offered from a heart in spiritual liberty, is the best first fruits with which we can honor the Lord.
There is nothing in the natural man that can rejoice when the fig tree does not blossom; but the new man sees beauty in this spiritual baptism, and knows that not only must we endure the cross and die to the world and self, but by the power of the Lord Jesus Christ rise again to newness of life. This will teach us to rejoice when Jesus lifts up the light of his countenance upon us in our sad cast-down dejected state; then we cannot but rejoice at the wonders of his love and mercy. The returning of the burden of sin is only to show us the constant need of the fountain opened. We should soon forget his favors, if his absence did not exceedingly burden us; it is this that makes us cry, "O that I knew where I might find him!" and he is not long sought, before we perceive "It was but a little that I passed from them, but I found him whom my soul loves: I held him, and would not let him go." This is the way we are led of the Spirit and carried through all our troubles, as the children were supported in the furnace; not only the smell of fire was not found upon them, but a fresh display of the glory, power, and efficacy of God's grace was granted them, and fresh courage to hope and trust in the Lord in all future troubles, which arise one after another like the waves of the sea. This is sowing beside all waters, and our spiritual increase will be found in it.
From your faithful friend in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 220
(To M. M. A. G.) Leominster, 18 July 1841.
My dear Friend,
I was very glad to receive your letter; and though the time of my being here ends on Thursday, according to my first engagement, yet I am requested to stay another week; so that, if it please God to prosper my way, I hope to be at home the last day of this month, on my way to my family in Surrey.
I have often observed, when any temptation has got fast hold upon us, it has been first trifled with, just as the fish plays with the bait, not suspecting the hidden hook until it be well fastened; and then, to our sorrow, we are not so easily disentangled as we expected. Besides this, I have generally found one entangling snare leads to many other difficulties, quite unforeseen, and very curiously hidden from us by the craft of the devil. But the Spirit of God, enlightening and making tender the conscience, gives a discovery of the danger, accompanied with power unceasingly to cry; and the issue in such a case is sure. "For you will light my candle; the Lord my God will enlighten my darkness. By you I have run through a troop, and by my God have I leaped over a wall." Thus we escape out of a troop of obstinate, rebellious, and self-willed entangling snares, and prove that no hindrance, however high and impenetrable, is insurmountable. This is to the glory of God's rich grace, showing that nothing is too hard for him and the sweet humbling effect of this grace bestowed makes us declare that his way, though so mysterious and humbling, is perfect; and though he try us to the uttermost, yet will we trust in him; for "who is God save the Lord?" and who can deliver after the same manner? A firm Rock, on which we may safely build, with the sure prospect of standing every storm. This will make our feet like hinds' feet, and as the hymn says, "in swift obedience move"; and will teach us not to trifle with temptation, but show us how our hands are to handle the word of life, and that we must be fighting soldiers in this warfare; so that a "bow of steel", a mighty strong temptation, terrible in its power, will be broken, if brought to him who is the Shield of our salvation, who will guard us and guide us so that no evil shall finally befall us. In so walking, our feet will not slip, nor will our steps be straitened; but the necks of these enemies shall be broken. It is God that avengeth us of our grand adversary, and lifts us up above all those things and persons that would stop our course; and therefore we must, and most readily do, "give thanks unto you, O Lord, and sing praises unto your name", for the great deliverance you are continually working for us (Psalm 18:28-50).
So that when the enemy raises surmises that there is no help for us in God, we must dispute this point sword in hand, for we shall most assuredly say with David, "You, Lord, are a shield for me, my glory, and the lifter up of my head." The Psalmist adds, what I am sure both you and W. will find a truth; therefore venture unceasingly to try it: "I cried unto the Lord in my distress, and he heard me out of his holy hill;" and in so doing, he declares, "The Lord sustained me;" that is, I did not get all I wanted and longed for at once, but I was propped up and encouraged to press on. If you ask, To what am I to press on? Still to cry, "Arise, O Lord; save me, O my God;" for "salvation belongs unto the Lord", and he has it to bestow upon just such miserable wretches as we are (Psalm 3).
Do, my dear W., lay this to heart; the storm has begun, and you have need of a shelter. Think not that none of the Bible saints were in so bad a case as you; both they and all of us are at times obliged to cry, "O Lord, rebuke me not in your anger; neither chasten me in your hot displeasure. Have mercy upon me, O Lord." Let this be your errand day and night to the Lord Jesus Christ. The Psalmist mournfully says, "In death there is no remembrance of you; in the grave who can give you thanks?" I would, by the help of God, lead your mind to the issue of all this sorrow. "The Lord has heard my supplication," my pitiful sighs and hopeless groaning; "the Lord will receive my prayer." Therefore let that shameful enemy unbelief be put to shame, and let the Lord be magnified (Psalm 6).
Where is my friend J.? Where does he hide himself? I hope he is not an insensible looker-on at the visitations of God in your house and family, but that while he stands in awe at the terrible things which the Lord is doing among you, he may with holy reverence bow and stoop in spirit under the mighty hand of God, and acknowledge his infinite wisdom in all his dispensations. As I said before, the storm is begun. O may he seek, like the dove, to rest only on the ark! This alone will save him. The fiery trial will overtake him also; for though it may not come in exactly the same shape, yet God has told us all that we shall certainly pass through the fire and the water; and it will be our mercy to believe the report, and be unceasingly seeking the Lord Jesus Christ to stand at our right hand, to defend us, and carry us safely through. So shall we prove the truth of his word: "My strength is made perfect in weakness."
May the Lord be with you all.
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 221
Leominster, 21 July 1841.
My dear W. B.,
It gave me great pleasure to see your letter, but I felt more than what is so called in the meditation of its contents, especially where you write and complain of the continual sense of spiritual death and darkness, from which you can by no means deliver yourself. Consider, "the dead know not anything." Why so anxious to prevail with the Lord, if in some measure your case is not like many described in the Word of God? For instance, "How long, Lord? will you be angry forever?" "O remember not against me former iniquities." "Let the sighing of the prisoner come before you; preserve you those that are appointed to die" (Psalm 79:5-11). Now do consider whether your case can be worse than this. David in Psalm 18 says, "The sorrows of death compassed me;" "the sorrows of Hell compassed me about." God's rebukes made fearful discoveries, and, if you observe, the language is very strong; "The foundations of the world were discovered at your rebuke, O Lord, at the blast of the breath of your nostrils." Is your case worse than this? But even here the Psalmist says, "He sent from above, he took me, and drew me out of many waters; he delivered me from my strong enemy," and then adds, "for all his judgments were before me." It was because these were laid to heart and he was made to tremble at them; and thus he sums it up, "You will save the afflicted people, but will bring down high looks." And I am sure it is in and through these various dark and dismal dispensations that the Lord (as this Psalm shows) lights our spiritual candle, and enlightens our darkness; and here he girds us with strength by various little helps, and lifts and glimpses of hope. Here also the Shield is discovered to be closer to us than we imagined, so that the fiery darts of the enemy do not make so desperate an inroad upon us. It is by the help of this Shield that our enemies are pursued, overtaken, and finally destroyed. "Therefore (says the Psalmist) will I give thanks unto you, O Lord."
None of these Bible saints obtained their comforts but through that path of tribulation in which you now are. Their lost hopes and reckless fears were precisely the same as yours and mine; and whether we utter a noise or only sigh, yet we are made to understand the Lord looks at the heart; and though that be full of deceit, yet if he make us tremble at the sight, this is the token that he is bringing us down from our heights by hard labor, as is said of the redeemed of the Lord (Psalm 107), until they fall down and find none to help; there the Spirit helps their infirmities, and teaches them to cry to the Lord in their trouble, and then "he saved them out of their distresses."
The hope you describe is most assuredly of the Lord, and the next time you have the sweet power upon your heart (however small) tell the Lord that you believe it is from him to encourage your drooping spirit, and that you desire to acknowledge this precious gift as an infinite mercy; and see now if the Lord does not encourage this hope with a further increase of it. He delights in all such as hope in his mercy.
I was contemplating your case since your last letter and in earnest prayer for your spiritual enlargement, and while I was thus occupied, the Lord broke in upon my heart with such an abundance of his mercy and love as greatly enlarged my heart, and encouraged my hope for you; and I felt quite sure the Lord would do you good, and that this affliction should be for the glory of God. Only remember, "let patience have her perfect work;" but never let the word patience make you indifferent, for spiritual patience is a very active fruit of the Spirit of God.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 222
Leominster, 22 July 1841.
Dear Mrs. Clark,
I am ashamed to say how little I lay to heart, in comparison with what I ought to do, the condition in which God has placed me by a revelation of his dear Son in me with all his saving benefits. I was this morning struck with great awe in reading these words in Acts 7: "Put off your shoes from your feet, for the place where you stand is holy ground." I considered where I stood in Christ Jesus; this is holy ground. God has placed me as a standard bearer in my line of things; then put off fleshly vanity and self in all directions. This holy place can admit of no co-partner with the Lord in his mighty work. When Moses saw complete redemption in Christ Jesus, and appeared as if he wanted to understand that naturally which was only to be discovered to the spiritual understanding, God cautioned him and said, "Put off your shoes." And though it moved Moses with great fear, yet here the Lord renewed his covenant that he had made with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and promised him a deliverance, which should be accompanied with many tokens of God's favor. But this is never to be forgotten: "The place whereon you stand is holy ground." No presumption can be admitted here; God is holy, and nothing that is unclean, or defiles, or loves or makes a lie, can enter into his presence. The Lord said, "Certainly I will be with you," and "Thus you shall say unto the children of Israel, I am has sent me unto you."
This is what I am continually exercised about, and when cross providences and difficulties arise I begin to fear that the great I am has not sent me, and I forget how much opposition and many difficulties Moses met with, and that the Lord himself says, "I am sure the king of Egypt will not let you go;" yet would the Lord bring them out of the affliction of Egypt unto a land flowing with milk and honey (Exodus 3). I say, though I have proved the truth of this a thousand times, yet upon every fresh trial this great I am seems far from me, and I keep looking one way and another to find some fleshly means of obtaining spiritual ends. The shoes are harder to cast off than at first sight appears. Then I consider where this great I am has placed me, and the ground I stand upon in the sight of God, in the church, in my family, and in the world, and what need I have of the Lord's most Holy Spirit so to guide me and keep me in his holy fear, as that my spirit in all these shall agree and harmonize, and I not appear in two characters; for it can only be in this divine and spiritual agreement that the work can be proved to be of God, and will be received by his afflicted children.
I am much struck with the effect that all those strange things which the Lord wrought had upon Moses. He says at last, under a feeling of his abject and low condition, "O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since you have spoken unto your servant; but I am slow of speech, and am of a slow tongue." But here the Lord helps our infirmities and shows us that the weak may say they are strong. For in order to stop all objections and fears he said, "Who has made man's mouth? or who makes the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth, and teach you what you shall say" (Exodus 4:10-12). This has opened my mouth many times, and I think it has also guided my pen.
These are the things that should keep me constantly sensible of the holy ground on which I stand, and give me peculiar spiritual care and watchfulness that that which is lame be not "turned out of the way", but that every such thing be healed, by the application of the blood of sprinkling. How often have I been asked, "Who made you a ruler and a judge?" I can but reply, The Lord has done all that has been rightly done, and has made me often to tremble at the sight of what he has done, the many wonderful and miraculous escapes, as it were, from the wrath of an angry God, the marvelous and narrow escapes from despair; the pit has seemed to open its mouth upon me, as it did lately upon poor —; he as well as I have found it a holy place, and that no fleshly confidence could abide. In these places we appear to stand naked before God, and are in much awe, not knowing which way the scale will turn. O how self is put off, as a filthy cloth! How deformed and ugly we are forced to acknowledge ourselves, while thus we behold and acknowledge the infinite justice, righteousness, and holiness of God in terrible majesty! Here we see vanity written upon all created things, and learn to know their full value; that is, less than nothing and lighter than vanity. But how soon the scene in a measure changes! Yet by the power and mercy of God it leaves a savor upon the spirit, so that whenever Egypt is presented as desirable, there immediately springs up a prohibition, and a recollection of the terrible things we have passed through, and the sweet deliverances the Lord in infinite mercy has wrought for us by the way. How it brings to mind certain turning points, when all hope was gone, and then the Lord came. I well remember many such seasons. How can I but bless and praise the Lord with heart and soul for such marvelous mercies! All but gone; and carried from thence into the third Heaven of his superabounding mercy!
I must again repeat, this is holy ground; therefore "what manner of persons ought we to be in all holy conversation and godliness!" and I especially in my present position where I am separated from the people of God; and yet must bear testimony to the work of God upon my heart by walking in his fear.
May the Lord be your portion and guide, and comfort you through this waste wilderness, which our sin has made barren; but a leaf from the tree of life I am sure has in a measure healed us, and will finally and effectually work a perfect cure; and to the Lord Jesus Christ with the Father and the Spirit be all the glory.
From yours in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 223
(To Mr. Nunn) Ockley, Surrey, 15 August 1841.
My dear Friend,
We were very glad to hear from you. I full well know there is something, which varies a little in us all, lying (as you say) like a cankerworm at the root of all earthly happiness; and it is our mercy that so it is. "Much tribulation" are not words without meaning; but I am sure the Lord means to make all great men very little, whom he intends to save. Little children have small ideas, and can accomplish very little; and the Lord designs we shall be as such. His kingdom is to be made up of such. You say truly, There is no keeping the affections on things above, but by denying self in all directions; this is no small denial, for our fleshly spirits account our pride, consequence, natural authority, and self-will, to be absolutely necessary to keep good order; but Psalm 18 describes another way. In this I am often brought to secret terror. God discovers the cheat and deceit of the heart, and shows me that nothing but self is set up there, and his honor is disregarded. The flesh cries out, Carry your head very high; but the Spirit says, Put your mouth in the dust. If you will be safe, be very little in your own estimation, fear everything, tremble at God's Word, and be deeply sensible of your own weakness; and let such say, "I am strong," not in themselves, but in that communication of God's grace which he so freely bestows on the weak, the feeble, and the poor. This sort of exercise always brings about much contrition and self-abasement; it makes me willing to take the lowest place, and let the Lord make use of me as he pleases; "Not my will, but your be done." This also makes the poor and afflicted people of God very profitable company. I am not anxious to tell them all I pass through, but rather to hear of God's dealings with them, and I find this confirms my tokens, and my heart unites most sweetly with the work described, and we become one in Christ. I know not a sweeter token.
Remember me most kindly to our minister; I feel much the loss of the (preaching of the) word, but the Lord is merciful and does not utterly forsake us in our little assemblies here. My subject this morning (Sunday) was "The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of Hell got hold upon me: I found trouble and sorrow. Then called I upon the name of the Lord ; 0 Lord, I beseech you, deliver my soul" (Psalm 116:3, 4). I exemplified this in the case of Jonah, which I think was quite as desperate as Mrs. Burrell's can be; but Jonah, and also Hezekiah and Manasseh, all ventured to look once more, and found mercy. Who knows the time and the manner in which it shall please God to have mercy upon her? We read of one that waited many years at the pool, and was healed at last. May the Lord be pleased to visit her.
Remember me also to Mrs. Nunn and tell her what the Lord said to his disciples in the garden, "Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation;" for it is much easier to enter, than to endure and come out. That the Lord may be with you both is the sincere wish of all our party here, who join in kind regards.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 224
Stoke Newington, 20 September 1841.
Dear William Morris,
I cannot help hoping that the Lord has said to you as he did to Simon, "I have somewhat to say unto you." I think his voice has been long and loud upon your heart. It will be your mercy to cry for understanding, that you may know that God is infinitely just, and shows his displeasure and wrath against you in a broken law. The misery, guilt, and disquietude you feel is the proof of this. But I cannot help hoping that the Lord would not have showed you this, if he had meant to destroy you. Let nothing dishearten you from coming to Jesus Christ. Be often alone, and tell him all your troubles, and especially your fears, your sins, and all the hindrances you feel that prevent you from coming as you seem to wish and want.
If your heart is so disposed, do not let anything keep you from this sort of seeking, for the Psalmist says, "Your heart shall live that seek God." Do not believe anything to the contrary; and if anything present itself to hinder you from seeking, be sure to take heed, and suffer not the hindrance to take place. Beg of God to strengthen you through all opposition, and not suffer you to rest until you know that he has pardoned your sin. You cannot get out of his hands; he has you a safe prisoner; but "there is mercy with him, that he may be feared." Take heed, watch and see; if the Lord condescend to give you any encouraging hope, do not let the things of time and sense damp it, but be diligent in reading his Word. Oh! my friend, eternity is a vast and awful thing, and to have no hope on the brink of eternity is terrible; therefore give the Lord no rest, but pray unceasingly that he would look with mercy and compassion upon your soul.
I cannot think that your going to your room to pray will be in vain; for I must hope that it is done under a feeling sense of want: then watch and see if these prayers fall to the ground. I trust not. Some hope will be gathered; some prospect of help to counteract despair. Jesus Christ is the Friend of the friendless; and "when we were without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly," that repentance unto life might be manifested.
I have no doubt your former profession secretly covers you with shame; I trust also this shame is the effect of the light of life that discovers the hypocrisy. Be sure not to cover your sins, but confess; and see if hope will not spring up where you least expected; nay, even where you were almost ready to give all up. Abraham had no ground to hope, but he against this did hope, and obtained, and was therefore called the father of the faithful. The Lord delights in all such as hope in his mercy. Can you for one moment suppose this? If you say, Yes, then does not this very thought comfort and encourage you? and is not this then a token of better days, and as if the Lord had not altogether forgotten to be gracious? The invitation is very strong: "Come unto me, all you that labor and are heavy laden" (under trouble, sickness, or anything, heavy laden with sorrow), "and I will give you rest."
Is there nothing in all this that is acceptable to you? Do you find no relish for it? If you do, make it manifest by continual and unceasing prayer, for you are in a place that needs the utmost mercy; all refuge seems taken from you, and all prospect of worldly relief; but Christ the good Physician knows how to administer the oil and wine, to soften and comfort under the most deadly complaint, and turn the shadow of death into the morning (Amos 5:8).
Your faithful friend, James Bourne
Letter 225
(To the Rev. R. M.) Stoke Newington, 20 September 1841.
My dear Friend,
I know your wish for me to write, and your own disinclination to do so; but how shall I find a subject suitable unless I see by your letters where you are?
Your letter to me from Brighton alarmed me, nor can I think the light beginning of that could be accompanied with a deep sense of your danger. The work of God is yet what I fear is secret to you. God says, "It is a terrible thing that I will do" (Exodus 34:10); this work brings men down very low and teaches them to cry mightily to the Lord for mercy, as poor, lost, undone sinners, and all former profession sinks into worse than nothing. It was a loveliness that delighted us, but now this loveliness in the light of the Spirit is sad corruption, and we find no anchor-hold, but go about mourning; and all refuge fails, and friends stand aloof. If you had a little more of this trouble it would bring forth a purer religion. For want of this many a gilded and fair profession or shell is held for years; but when the rains descend, then it appears on what this profession is built. I have witnessed much of this sort, and it is most awful. They know everything but the secret of the Lord, and therefore are not sharers in his covenant, and are left at last without the hope that the afflicted find in their extremity. My profession began with affliction, was carried on in the furnace, sustained by the word of the Lord, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you;" and I believe it will end in a good hope.
In your other letter there appears something more lively and spiritual; but you that have been so long in a profession, and have been accustomed to teach others, cannot perceive where you have missed the mark. Nothing is so deadening and confusing as being in the practice of teaching what we have established in our minds as truths, and yet are not so. How hard to relinquish such habits even after the conviction of their unsoundness; and how little is laid to heart the real mischief of teaching others such false ways! I say these are bewildering circumstances, and we wish as it were to jump over these things, and are apt to think we shall not find their binding effect. Not so. Sin is exceedingly sinful, and God is infinitely holy; this we must be instructed to feel, and we shall never be so instructed, but by the convictions of the Spirit upon our consciences of the evil of our heart and ways; and this is not done in a day. We shall find, if we are rightly taught, that this effectual work is slow, though progressive and sure; and brings us down to very low places. We in vain suppose that coming out of a false profession, and being brought right by the power of God, is an easy work or quickly accomplished. O no! this pulling down means more than you are yet aware; and though your last letter encouraged me to hope, I yet feel much more must be manifest before you yourself are satisfied that the Lord Jesus Christ is your Friend.
If what I have written sharpens the iron, thank God. I am sure it had need to be sharpened; for you may change from one profession to ten thousand others, and yet if your heart be not broken under a sense of sin, and healed in the blood of sprinkling, there can be no foundation to hope that any change yet has been right. May the Lord deeply affect your heart to consider well upon what foundation you stand. It is for you and me to be at a point in this.
Pray give my kind regards to your brother; I hope his soul prospers. We that are old know our time is very short; you that are young cannot tell how soon your decrepit frames may bow; so that it becomes us all to make our calling and election sure.
From your faithful and affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 226
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 12 October 1841.
My dear Friend,
How shall I lament the death of one who has been so sweetly put to sleep in Jesus?(5) 'Tis true you will find a heavy loss; nevertheless on a due consideration of the sorrows and vanities of this life, which continually cast down the child of God, so sweet a relief must he admitted as desirable. Poor H. said, when she read the account, "I am only sorry it is not I." What a true Friend the Lord always proves in the hour of extremity, and no doubt he will be so to you who are left behind, if you dare to make free, and try him to the utmost of his Word.
I know what it is to sink in spirit beyond expression, but even then the everlasting arms have been underneath. Last night I was pondering my manifold difficulties and presenting them mournfully before the Lord, and he was pleased most graciously to whisper in my heart that he chastens every son, and corrects all whom he receives; this brought sweet peace, quietness, and resignation, and the sight of these words confirmed the feeling in my heart: "God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through him might be saved." I assure you the light and power which attended those words made me entirely to cast my burdens upon the Lord, as upon an assured and faithful Friend. I quite accord with you in feeling a sad difficulty in so doing, and also in finding little at times but oppression of spirits; yet in patiently waiting and quietly hoping the Lord comes, and brings such seasonable relief that we then can rejoice in tribulation, knowing that it is every way for the furtherance of the gospel.
The Lord has not taken you by surprise in this heavy dispensation, but has kindly led you both on most gently to expect the event, and has softened the whole of it with his sweet presence and favor, so that there was no trace of a desire left in the heart of our departed friend to continue here. She felt it was far better to depart, and be forever with the Lord. Your part is otherwise, and a new line of things will open to you altogether, new troubles, new difficulties, and new crosses; but God is all-sufficient, and will show to his people that he is a very present help; and I truly hope you will constantly go to him for that help, in all your various difficulties. I have had ten thousand fears, but, blessed be his holy name forever and ever, he has been a faithful near and dear Friend to me.
Believe me yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 227
(To Mr. Maydwell and Rev. R. M.) London, 25 October 1841.
My dear Friends,
I think your kind attention to me deserved a better remembrance than has appeared. I have not forgotten it, but manifold exercises engage the whole of my attention, and prevent much that is due to my friends.
Since I left you, I have been often ready to fear that the Lord had forgotten to be gracious, and that he had shut up his tender mercies. "Changes and war are against me;" nevertheless my heart was continually after him, so that I have acted as I said at Hertford, "I will not let you go, except you bless me." In this exercise the long night of affliction ended with the breaking of the day, and the Sun of Righteousness arose with healing to my soul; but alas, how soon it sets! The days are very short, the nights very long: my sins procure the rod, and I learn to put my mouth in the dust; and when the Lord does condescend to come, I prize it more than I can express.
I am often brought to a stand by the sweet words that the Lord whispers upon my heart, for no sooner am I comforted by them, than another spirit tells me it is all a fable, the power of illusion, and that I shall see nothing will come of them. To my great shame I yield an ear to this, and it brings evil surmising, and makes all my calamities much worse. I often fear I have not a right understanding in the word applied, and think it should surely be fulfilled there and then; I forget the trial of patience, and think the Lord must work my way, though he tells me his ways are not like mine, nor to be compared with them. His ways are always right, and in infinite wisdom; but my ways I am sure would lead headlong to destruction.
These ponderings are the cause of much spiritual fellowship with the Lord, and I am sure create much godly fear, by which I am led to depart from the spirit of the world. In thus secretly mourning and seeking the Lord in his Word, in the ministry, and in meditation and prayer, I find he returns with double mercy, and assures my heart he will never leave me nor forsake me. I trust this is the conflict which will end in conquest, and that the arm of the Lord will be revealed in behalf of his afflicted. I am taught most heartily to justify God, and to loathe myself and repent in dust and ashes; and here it is the Lord contends no longer, but pours in the oil and wine; and my confidence and hopes then grow strong, that all shall be well, and that no good thing shall fail of all that the Lord has spoken from the beginning.
Let not this dishearten either of you; it must be a path of great tribulation, but the Lord passed this dark valley before you and perfumed it, so that though you have to walk through it, you will learn in the issue to fear no evil, because his power and presence will comfort you.
From your faithful friend, James Bourne
Letter 228
London, 12 November 1841.
Dear Mrs. Oakley,
It is now long since I heard of you. I have as usual been in much affliction, but not left without a Comforter. My daughter H. has again been very ill for six weeks, and has sometimes given us reason to fear she would not recover. The Lord was near to her in her extremity; though at times she greatly deplored his absence, her unceasing cries moved him to compassion, and she declares and proves that nothing can separate a broken-hearted sinner from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. I have often thought, if anything could do so, my foolish backsliding heart would; but there is mercy with him that he may be feared.
The time of affliction is often a time of desertion and darkness, attended with much fear and oppression of spirits, and we cannot tell how or in what way we shall ever get out of our trouble; fears run very high, and hope runs very low; we see the beginning of God's judgments, but who can fathom them or see the end? Who would have thought that all that long and toilsome affliction of Mr. Oakley's was the right and only way the Lord chose to take to bring him finally to his spiritual senses, and give him such a beautiful entrance into the heavenly kingdom? Such thoughts as these stop my lips from uttering perverseness, while something seems to say, Wait patiently; quietly hope; and you shall see the salvation of God. I have lately stood as it were in this place, almost pulled to pieces with fear, yet I could not help crying, "If you are pleased, O Lord, to trample me under foot, you are nevertheless infinitely righteous and just." When the Lord brought me to this point, then he showed me his marvelous loving-kindness, and all contention ceased.
Let our troubles be what they may, it shall not prove vain simply to bring them to the Lord. I have been often brought to the utmost extremity; but when all my own hope and strength and every refuge was gone, then the Lord appeared. This is not a fable, but a reality that comforts the soul in all its tribulation, and will be found to be strong as death. So Mr. Oakley found it, and so shall you and I certainly find it.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 229
London, 17 April 1842.
Dear Mrs. Tims,
I felt my charge at Hertford beyond my power of expression, and the danger of many that appeared resting short of Christ's atoning blood. If this be continued in, it will appear, when the errors of the day become still more rampant than at present, that the seed of the Word has not taken effectual root, and they will fall into the snares laid for their feet. Hazael said, "Is your servant a dog, that he should do this?" Nevertheless, when the opportunity is given, there is often a discovery of evil we never dreamt of, and from which we can never be preserved, except in Christ Jesus. I am sure it is most needful that we make clear work; for the threatened fire will try every man's work, of what sort it is (1 Corinthians 3:11-13). Wood, hay, stubble denote the light profession of the day that rests short of Christ's testimony, and is satisfied with a false report, which allows them to mingle with carnal friends and erroneous teachers, and finds no fault with vain professors. Such think they can touch pitch without being defiled, and cannot receive the Word of God which bids us not to say a confederacy to everyone, but to sanctify the Lord of Hosts himself, and let him be our fear and our dread. This will lead us safely, if duly attended to. But I see such half-professors and quarter-professors among you, as make me tremble. Their language is dark; their walk more dark; and their best evidences show that they prevail not with God in prayer: and this is tenfold more grievous, because of the growing errors of the Papacy and of the Puseyites. They all offer a religion that can be performed by manual exercise, without the spirit of these awful things being searched into. This is "will-worship", which puffs up the fleshly mind, but gives no relief to a broken heart (Colossians 2:18-23).
Some among you truly comforted me with the zeal and love they expressed in describing the work of God upon the heart, and the manner in which the Spirit helped their infirmities in prayer. These greatly encouraged me; and the spirit of liberty I found in speaking led me to believe they were a people that had their spiritual ears open to receive the Word with an appetite. I was truly glad you should be one of them. It strengthened my hands; for as we are now finishing our days, it is our mercy to know that there is nothing between the Lord and us to make a throne of grace inaccessible.
This morning's reading was, "Let me go, for the day breaks. And he said, I will not let you go, except you bless me" (Genesis 32:26). I could not help pointing out the many trifles by which we let the Lord go; holding the world and many vanities, but not retaining him. I considered that the break of day signified those reviving hopes with which the Lord visits us, and which were intended not to rest in, but to add energy to our prayers for that clear and spiritual liberty which is to be found in Christ Jesus, and nowhere else. But we foolishly often rest in the daybreak, and do not wait for the Sun of Righteousness arising in the heart, which would bring such a sweet healing power as to satisfy us entirely of the eternal love of the Father, Son, and Spirit. This brings us clean out of the spirit of the world, and gives us an abundant entrance into his heavenly kingdom. This stands the test of errors, persecution, and love and endearing ties of relations, and far surpasses the power of the enemy in all directions, and makes us fruitful and profitable in the church of God, which is the spiritual kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 230
(To Mr. Burrell) London, 5 May 1842.
My dear Sir,
I have had some very sore mourning on account of the illness of my daughter H. But the Lord will humble us, and I have reason to hope that it is for good; for I already see the effect of the affliction upon more than one in my family. The circumstances of it leave an awe upon their spirits, and a very sober attention to the ministry. As for myself, though I am greatly bowed down with fear, yet the Word of God looks very sweetly at me, and by the power I feel in it I am enabled to put my mouth in the dust. There the Lord spoke these words softly upon my heart today: "He will regard the prayer of the destitute, and not despise their prayer." This led me further to examine what the Lord said to the children of Israel in their hard bondage; how he heard their groaning, and remembered his covenant; and these words: "I will redeem you with a stretched out arm, and with great judgments," left upon my spirit much trembling, but not without hope; and the next words comforted my heart: "I will take you to me for a people, and I will be to you a God; and you shall know that I am the Lord your God, that brings you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians. I am the lord." (Exodus 6:6, 7).
I hope you will forgive my sending this, and that you will pray for me and my family, as I have many times for you and your family. May the Lord bless you and still spare you for the comfort and instruction of his afflicted people.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 231
(To Mr. Burrell) London, 12 May 1842.
My dear Sir,
I cannot help sending you word how my present affliction works. Although at times greatly bowed down, my burdened heart cleaves to the Lord under all. I never in my life felt the wonderful mercy of God in his all-wise providence bringing me through many changes to hear a faithful ministry, so much and so greatly as yesterday and on Wednesday evening. What the Lord led you to say on "our light affliction, which is but for a moment", entered my heart with sweet power and encouragement. I was much surprised to hear you speak of your heart sinking like lead in the water. It led me very much to resignation, submission, and hope; for I had felt before as if none were like me. Your first prayer was also a source of great encouragement to me, so that a day of mourning was closed with divine and spiritual relief.
My present trouble works many ways. I trust by it the Lord is humbling me and showing me, in some small measure, how real and great is his salvation; and that surely by these things he means to do me good in my latter end; also how light are these afflictions which daily befall me, when compared to the eternity of misery, or to the endless ages of happiness. I think the Lord is bringing me to a clearer resignation of H. into his hands, and a great willingness that everything respecting it may be left at his disposal. I am kept in continual prayer, confession, and watchfulness; constantly crying, Lord, teach me perfect submission, and to acknowledge your infinite wisdom, righteousness, and justice. Though my spirit often sinks, it does not cease from prayer; which I feel a great mercy, because the Lord has said, "Your heart shall live that seek God" (Psalm 69:32)
I was greatly comforted on Monday evening with these words: "He has torn, and he will heal us; he has smitten, and he will bind us up" (Hosea 6:1). They came with a holy confidence, that when the Lord has humbled us, he would in mercy return.
Your most faithful and affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 232
(To Mr. Maydwell and Rev. R. M.) London, May 1842.
My dear Friends,
"Man is born unto trouble, as the sparks fly upward." I once thought this was only a saying, but I have now found it a reality. I watch, and am very desirous to see that the Lord will condescend to sanctify my trouble, that it may be to his glory and the effectual salvation of my soul. I have been often lately brought so low as to fear that the Lord had forgotten to be gracious, but I was convinced this was my infirmity, for he has as often told me that I shall not be forgotten of him. This very morning, fearing I had totally lost the power and spirit of prayer, and mourning exceedingly because I could find no relief, I was led to Psalm 27, and as soon as my eyes saw these words they kindled upon my heart: "I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Here at once I saw myself in the footsteps of the flock, and that David was a true yoke-fellow, who well knew what trouble meant. This brought great resignation; but when I read the next verse: "Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart: wait, I say, on the Lord", it was spoken upon my heart as if the Lord himself was moved with compassion for me, and it truly caused me to believe every word would be fulfilled in my behalf. This was a sweet visit from the Lord; it both gave me comfort and preserved me from fainting in this day of adversity.
The whole of this day has been spent in conflict and in bringing again to my mind the Lord's sweet words from Psalm 27; constantly praying that I might not faint, but find the promised strength and courage; and I think the Lord has heard my prayer; in the midst of many difficulties he has strengthened me, and carried me through them all to the present moment. I feel as if the words denoted continual conflict, and that I shall need this spiritual and heavenly courage; the Lord has therefore given me a sweet view whence all my help is to come, and that in waiting upon him and for him I shall find it a truth. These conflicts cause me to die to the world and all created pleasures. They put a damp and blank upon all things except the needed help of the Lord. How earnest it makes me to caution all who have a profession of religion, that it may have power and efficacy in it, and that none may rest short of those evidences which accompany salvation. The time of trial is sure to overtake us all, for the Lord is determined to show what is hay or stubble, gold or silver, for it is said, "The fire shall try every man's work, of what sort it is." That which stands the fiery trial shall be a vessel meet for the heavenly Master's use; and I am sure there neither is nor can be any standing but in the strength of the Lord (1 Corinthians 3:10-15; 2 Timothy 2:10-21; Ephesians 6:10-13). It has been my mercy to obtain strength at his hands in all my former troubles, which encourages me to hope the Lord will appear for me more fully in this. May you both find comfort in your affliction is the sincere desire of
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 233
(To Mr. Nunn) London, 4 June 1842.
My dear Friend,
This fourth day of June is a day of great alarm and terror to me; but though I am brought very low, yet under all I find there is a reality in true religion that counteracts despair. God's Word is indeed a substance on which I have feebly rested, and might firmly rest as on the arm of Omnipotence. I know there is no weakness in the Word, but the weakness lies in my unbelieving heart. The Lord has said that he would strengthen my heart in every trial, and that he would never leave me nor forsake me: this has always established a hope in the deepest trials that he will bring me up again from the depths of the sea. In all former troubles it has been so, yet the enemy will insist upon it that this is no rule for the future, and that now I shall find that the Lord will forget me; and he always assails me upon the same point, namely, that delays are the proof of non-fulfillment, and so casts me down. But as the apostle says, so I find it: though sorely cast down, "yet not destroyed". Still pacing up and down in the room, heavy laden, yet crying, mourning, and seeking to accept the punishment of my sin, at last his compassionate ear opens, and he gives me some sweet glimpse of his heavenly favor, which so refreshes me as to make me renew the attack again and again. Were it not for these short visits my spirit would be swallowed up with sorrow; but while these last my soul sees such beauty in all his dispensations and judgments, such tenderness and care and condescension in his management of all my temporal and spiritual concerns, that I am lost in the sweet contemplation of the Lord's love and mercy to me in Christ Jesus; and this for the time gives me power to cast all cares and fears upon him, and shows me the safety of making him my sole refuge.
The conflicts and conquests that I am often exercised with cannot be put into words; but such as have fallen into these spiritual depths will understand and know the truth of them, both as respects the misery and shame, and the consolation and sweet encouragement which the Lord always in the end brings to his afflicted people. Under my present circumstances "I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living"; but the Lord most assuredly told me to be of good courage, and he would strengthen my heart in patiently waiting and quietly hoping for his salvation. I am continually resting upon this; as the eye of the servant to the hand of his master, so is my eye up unto the Lord my God, until that he have mercy upon me.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 234
Hertford, 27 June 1842.
Dear Mrs. C. Jeffreys,
I have great cause to be thankful that my health is restored, and that I am not left destitute of a sweet sense of God's mercy and favor and tender care. I am made truly to believe that the Lord is touched with the feeling of my infirmities, and that the merciful power I feel upon my heart is not a shadow, but a real substance which supports me under all my various trials, and that the Lord oftentimes causes hope to abound on every side. I do not know how far I may have been a reprover to many, which I hope has been profitable, but I feel that my afflictions have been so sanctified as to discover to me the deep necessity of a close and sober walk, because I have experienced that both the wood, hay, and stubble have been tried, as well as the gold; and if the Lord had not been with me in the furnace, I must have utterly perished.
If the houses I have passed so often on the way to Kilburn could speak, they would testify of the many doleful horrors that I have conflicted with, and the dreadful sinkings from which I could scarcely hope ever to rise; but to my utter surprise I have also had the sweetest tokens of the Lord's favor, which have so counteracted the despair, that I cannot describe to you the unspeakable sense I have had of his everlasting love to me; and these among many more words were brought to me on my way to your house, with such an abounding hope that I have not yet lost sight of them: "I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord." About two years ago I was in great trouble, and the Lord gave me a word which I watched, and on which I was caused to hope; and the whole of it was marvelously fulfilled. I have just the same hope and the same watchfulness in this, and a feeling as if the Lord did not intend to disappoint me; so that with my present support and future hope, I have yet a prospect of comfort on every side.
If the pride of my heart is to be judge, I should say that my hope is perished from the Lord; but I feel that in his mercy he makes the new man which he has planted in my heart to be the judge, and this declares he can do no wrong, but on the contrary, goodness and mercy have followed me all my days. He gives me many mercies, without rebuke, and when I lose sight of him, I mourn and tremble until I find him again. Mine is not a life of rebukes from the Lord, but of mercies. I must say that the life of my soul has flourished in the furnace.
And now I must beg of you and Mr. J. to accept ten thousand thanks for your unbounded kindness to me; I hope the Lord has made me deeply sensible of it, and that he will reward you a hundredfold.
From yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 235
(To Mr. Nunn) Hertford, 10 July 1842.
My dear Friend,
I have been much encouraged and comforted by Colossians 2:2, 3, and have seen great beauty in the unfolding of that "mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ, in whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge". Those who are of the world have no knowledge of these unsearchable riches, which are divine, heavenly, and spiritual. They may know something of God by the wonders of creation, and may hear that he gave his only begotten Son to come down upon earth to give his life a ransom for sinners. They have even seen that Christ came, and bore much reproach, and at length was crucified among them. But the mystery of God the Holy Spirit none can by nature fathom, nor understand the way in which he testifies of the Father's love to us in Christ Jesus; by which testimony we in some measure comprehend our interest in these immense treasures of wisdom and knowledge, our understandings being enlightened, by the same Spirit, to perceive that no access to God the Father or God the Son is known, but by the mysterious testimony of God the Holy Spirit. No fellowship of this mystery, but through the Spirit. It is hid in God from the eyes of all living in the flesh, but revealed to poor troubled souls that often fear the worst, but by this wonderful teaching are heartened to believe that they shall never perish. It is the sweet taste of these things that enables me to come with holy boldness to a throne of grace, and to find, through the eternal Spirit, access to the Father; and I am surprised at his condescension and mercy, in permitting me to draw so near, through his dearly beloved Son (Ephesians 2:13-18; 3:8-12).
I often sink very low, and am tempted to despair, but these sweet seasons are so encouraging, that I find under the enjoyment of them that there is no ground to despair; that the whole of this work upon the heart is the work of God, and therefore it is sure to be completed. I cannot describe to you how sure I find it when I have this sweet power fresh upon my heart. Though I know that the Lord is faithful and changes not, yet when darkness comes on I lose the sense of these sweet things, and fear all that is past may prove a mistake. Perhaps you will be ready to say, Are you no farther yet? I confess my weakness, and am greatly ashamed; I sometimes think I shall get to a firmer standing, yet our minister tells us continually of the weakness, fear, and trembling with which he himself is surrounded.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 236
(To Mrs. J., R. H., M. A. H., etc.) Hertford, 26 July 1842.
My dear Friends,
I have reason to be thankful that the Lord has restored my health, but have had no heart to put pen to paper, though my thoughts have not been altogether unfruitful, nor have I by the grace of God been destitute of many sweet tokens of the Lord's favor. My morning readings have been attended by many; but I am made to feel them all daily to be sown in great weakness, and I often tremble when I enter the room and see so many waiting to hear. My late afflictions made me speak much of the furnace that is to refine; but, as I have myself found, I tell them further that there can be no sanctified conflict without a conquest. My heart has often been enlarged in the declaration of my trials, and the manner in which the Lord most sweetly supports me; so that instead of self-pity and the sorrow of the world, I find repentance unto life and an acknowledgment of God's infinite and righteous wisdom in all his dispensations; and this leads to spiritual diligence, to hear what the Lord says in his Word that he will do for all such, which is much more profitable than looking at "things that are seen".
Never in all my life before have I watched so closely what the Lord will do in me and for me, and what that is which he has spoken upon my heart. I feel a readiness, by the grace of God, to believe that I may have mistaken the meaning of many words upon which he has caused me to hope; but I still watch, and plead them until I am absolutely forbidden, or perceive that the accomplishment of what I conceived to be set forth in them is totally out of the question. I have had some of these tokens respecting my afflicted daughter H., and even now while I am writing I am comforted with a hope that I shall one day or other see the salvation of God. I am not looking for great things in this life, but for the secret display of God's favor, which has at different times been brought into my heart in answer to earnest prayer and in great heaviness of spirit. I could scarcely hope the Lord would hear; and yet I can clear him, even if that which I have felt be not accomplished. Nevertheless, I keep pleading the same, and I am sure I should have fainted had I not believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. I do not ask when or in what manner, but wait to see the sovereign pleasure of God move in our behalf.
It has pleased God to bring me very low under all these circumstances, but in these low places he has given many sweet tokens of his loving-kindness. His Word has been very precious and I must confess that the whole has been very profitable in many ways. "It is good for me that I have been afflicted," for I never knew so much the extent of what the apostle says, Neither height nor depth can separate us from the love of Christ. If it were not so, in the depth I must have utterly despaired. I can say also, O the depth of the riches of his grace! "How unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!" I have also felt great fear and awe upon my spirit; something (I think) like that mentioned in Acts: "Great fear fell upon all the churches." I am sure by these various afflictions I am made to die to the world, and to see an increasing vanity upon all created things; also to acknowledge how much further than I had formerly considered, the Lord may cause his judgments to follow his people; only I see that with them all there is mercy.
Our poor old friend Mrs. Judd, who dwells near this place, has been tried in all directions. The last survivor of her twelve children, a son nearly fifty years old, appears now on the brink of eternity, without a good hope. She is herself blind, bed-ridden, often oppressed in spirit with a horror of great darkness; and has been living without anyone in the house to help them, destitute of the common comforts of life, though they were formerly very respectable farmers, having plenty of everything, and their family prosperous around them. She told me today how independent of God she had been in her prosperity, being quite sure she should never be moved. "But now," she said, "I am deprived of everything; my sin has procured these afflictions; but I can bless the Lord with all my heart for his infinite goodness and wonderful mercy. It is indeed a marvelous thing that the Lord should look in mercy upon such a sinner as I; for though I have had so much of this horror of late, it has not been without some transient views of his favor."
In reading Psalm 107 this morning, I have found how many times God's people are minished, and brought low; but it is always added that they cried unto the Lord, and he saved them out of all their distresses; and then follows what I gladly join in: "O that men would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!"
The Lord has often given intimations of heavy troubles coming on, and has never told us the bounds. When I was young I took all the comfort that the Word of God set forth, but as for these things I passed them over, or supposed they belonged to somebody, I knew not whom. Such words as these: "He shall sit as a Refiner," "Who may abide the day of his coming?" with the long list of Paul's perils, and the like, were all laid aside, either as past, or not to happen in these days. But the Lord has shown me that as it was in the beginning, so it is now, and ever shall be: "We must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God;" and I now declare for the encouragement of all young people, that "the wealthy place" is as sure as "the fire and the water". How have I been made to kiss the rod, and would not have it otherwise for ten thousand worlds! This grace has been given me in the furnace; a grace I never thought of before I had been well immersed in trouble.
Dear Mrs. James, you have been long inured to afflictions, which being sanctified, you have learned many wholesome lessons; and one above all, namely, that the Lord Jesus Christ will never, never leave you, but will give you an expected end. May the Lord grant to each and all of you not to be frightened at the cross, but to keep your eyes steadily on that incorruptible crown that never changes, reserved in Heaven for all broken-hearted sinners.
Yours very truly, James Bourne
Letter 237
Hertford, 29 July 1842.
Dear Mrs. Oakley,
I have been long occupied many ways, or I should have written sooner. My head has been bowed down with many and grievous burdens unfitting me for everything except confession and prayer, and never until I came into these deep waters did I so well know the power, extent, and efficacy of God's grace. You and I have no ground to despair; our condition has often called us to put this to the test, and to our utter surprise, we have found the Lord when we least expected him. In this valley of humiliation we often fear the worst and conclude the Lord has forgotten to be gracious, and that his mercies are clean gone for ever, and while we are thus concluding he is pleased to bring some comfortable word to our heart, that assures us he will not leave us in our trouble, nor be otherwise than afflicted in all our afflictions. This brings in an inexpressible sense of his kindness, and works in us an acceptance of the punishment of our sins, and makes us put our mouths in the dust before him with astonishment at his tender care and mercy towards us.
How the Lord stood by you during all the years in which your husband was unable to render you any assistance! His eye was upon you both for good; and Mr. Oakley's end proves that the Lord never forgot him, but preserved him to that appointed time in which he appeared for his comfort, bringing him safely to Jesus Christ, and enabling him to finish his course with joy. This ought always to encourage us. Nothing is too hard for the Lord. He will bring his people into the fire, and into the water; none shall escape, neither shall they be hurt; for the Lord will not finally leave them there, but will bring them out into the wealthy place. The valley of humiliation is a safe and fruitful place, and nothing is more dangerous than independence of God. If not well immersed in the furnace we should soon become independent; our lamps, like those of the foolish virgins, would be found without oil, and so go out when most needed. I must bear testimony to the truth of God's faithfulness; no trouble but there is some comfort to be found in it. I have never fallen into any sorrow, but it has pleased God to make it in the end a godly sorrow that works repentance unto life, and brings in some sweet tokens that the Lord Jesus Christ is my Friend. This encourages me to bring my troubles to him in the sweet confidence that I shall eventually profit by them. He who seeks to attain to eternal life without the cross will never attain to it: no cross, no crown; but as your tribulation abounds, so will your consolation. In all my troubles I have never found the Lord a hard master, but he is pleased continually to be paying me sweet and comforting visits to prop up my sinking spirits, and to give me clearer and brighter evidences of my eternal interest in Christ Jesus. It is thus he makes us fruitful, and the graces of humility and self-abhorrence are found in exercise, which are profitable to the church of God, and to us in the training of our families, and in all our engagements in life.
I long to see you all once more, but find no way open for that purpose; and I dare not go before, but had rather follow close after the Lord, and watch his leadings; then I may hope for his blessing. May it please God greatly to comfort your heart, and abundantly to make up the loss you sustain in not hearing the gospel, nor enjoying much of the sweet and comforting communion of saints. May he give you much spiritual life and light, that you may finish your course in peace, and find an abundant entrance "into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ".
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 238
Hertford, 6 August 1842.
Dear E. H.,
Although the testimony of man is nowhere in Scripture highly prized, yet when a God-fearing man burdens the spirit with reproof, it must not be considered altogether as the word of man, but as a message from the Lord to break the neck of some hidden evil in the heart, which the Lord is determined to take in hand. I hope the things you have written to me have led you to deep examination. When the Spirit of truth shall enter your heart, he will guide you into all truth, and remove that deceit and hypocrisy of the heart which beguile us into many things that secretly work a glorying of the flesh. Such glorying cannot stand with the true humbling of the Spirit. We may be, through ignorance, held in it for a season; but if we belong to the Lord, he will take some effectual means to root it up, and to bring us a few staves lower in our own estimation; and then, however we may regard with desire what is said in the Bible, we shall claim no more than what the Spirit of God shall have testified out of that Word to our consciences. So much is ours by the gift of God; all beyond is a robbery, and you know what becomes of thieves and robbers.
Let me entreat of you to be, inasmuch as lies in you, sincere and without offence; let your life, walk, and conversation, in the circle in which you move, be consistent with the fear of God which you profess. An empty fruitless profession will soon wither, and bring no fruit to perfection. "The trees of the Lord are full of sap." Take heed of enmity; it is a root of bitterness that will defile those about you. "In the reproofs of instruction is the way of life." Take heed that you harden not your neck. This is a part of the Savior's yoke, easily borne where love is in the heart. The grace of humility is rare. The Psalmist says, "Great peace have they that love your law," and "nothing shall offend them."
Let me teach you a prayer that always has been and is still very hard for me to learn, and yet I feel it needful: "Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts; and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." If your whole soul be engaged in this, I may add what the Word of God further says: "Who is he who will harm you, if you be followers of that which is good?"
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 239
Hertford, 12 August 1842.
Dear Mr. Burrell,
I am anxious to send you a few lines, and the more so from hearing what your conversation turned upon at Mrs. L.'s party, namely, real recent communion with the Lord, not merely head-knowledge. It struck me that in this lies the distinction between the true church of God, and the professing church, and I was led to some meditation how it was with me, and by what means this life had been communicated and kept up. I found a suitable key to unfold my thoughts in 2 Corinthians 4, where the apostle shows us that he was troubled on every side, but his troubles were so sanctified by the sweet presence and help of God that they did not bring forth despair. "For which cause (he says) we faint not, but though our outward man perish, our inward man is renewed day by day." I, too, have found, and still find, that this daily precious renewal reconciles the cross and makes it easy; for the Lord's sweet presence conveys such light into the soul that we see and feel that our affliction "is but for a moment", yet "works for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory"; and we are enabled to draw our minds from created objects, and fix them upon that which is spiritual and eternal.
When I left town I thought I had heard you for the last time. I was reduced to a very low condition, but it has pleased God wonderfully to restore me, and with temporal health he has added many tokens and views of his tender regard. I cannot help thinking that he has made my affliction profitable to many here who attend my family worship. I am surprised at the simplicity I find in the accounts which some of them give of the daily coming and going of the Lord.
I have had some earnest and pressing invitations from our friends in Shropshire. The poor people seem very ardently to desire my company among them once more. I have many fears, and tremble at the important task; yet I am not without some hope, from what has already taken place there through the weakest of all instruments. My prayer is, "If your presence go not with me, carry us not up hence." The fear of refusing to give my labor where the Lord calls for it, and the fear of going without the approbation of the Lord, bear very heavy upon me at times; and I am sure I have need of your prayers and the prayers of the rest of the friends that I may never be like the disobedient prophet, but may walk very tenderly before the Lord.
May it please God to bless you in your labors, and to grant that the blessing of eternal life may effectually reach dear Mrs. Burrell's heart, so as to cast out all her fears.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 240
(To a Lady) Hertford, August 1842.
Dear Madam,
Your friend showed me that part of your letter which referred to the state of your mind. Although it was exceedingly mournful, yet the Lord speaks so much in the behalf of a broken heart that it ought to encourage us mournful ones to hope that he does not mean utterly to forsake us.
A broken heart is a rare thing, and may always be known by its mourning after the right object. David under it cried out, "How long will you forget me, O Lord? forever? How long will you hide your face from me?" This is our fear, lest it should indeed be for ever. The broken heart, under such a painful feeling of the Lord's displeasure, cannot see an end of trouble, and therefore is ready to faint, but it will not utterly give up the cry, although there is a fearful apprehension lest our dreadful enemy unbelief should gain the victory, and we sink in despair. Here the broken heart makes a desperate struggle, which manifests that it is the quickening Spirit of God with his two-edged sword that has pierced it; and the terrible sinking that it feels leads it to cry, "Consider and hear me, O Lord my God; lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death." Let me see that this is the way in which you are pleased to save sinners; and though it be by terrible things in righteousness that you Answer me, yet be you still my Savior, lest my enemy prevail against me (Psalm 13).
How few there are to be found who are spiritually exercised as you are now; and how truly can I rejoice that you can mourn for the want of the communion and instruction of the people of God! This also is a true token that your heart is set upon the right object, and that Jesus Christ has given that wound which he will take care none shall heal but himself.
Your sister leaves Hertford tomorrow; I wish with all my heart she may feel as you do; then she will be very fearful of every step she takes, and every company she enters; and will inquire by diligent prayer, Is the Lord there? The near approach of death, if sanctified to us, will sober us and make us see created things in their right color. O eternity! How dreadful to look upon without hope! And although a sweet hope in the mercy of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is very supporting and precious, still it brings and leaves an awe upon the spirit, so that much company is not congenial to a soul seeking to finish its course in peace. Both light professors, and such as have nothing but the spirit of the world, are very unsuitable to broken hearts, or to any who desire to have a clear work upon their souls. It is no small thing to give up all for Christ, and to count all things but dung for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus our Lord. O how precious has that testimony been to me this evening! My hearty desire is that you may win Christ, and be found in him, having neither spot nor wrinkle. My very heart believes that the Lord will thus appear for you, before he takes you home.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 241
(To the same) Hertford, 25 August 1842.
Dear Madam,
God is determined to make us feel what an evil and bitter thing it is to sin against him, and how truly our sin is the cause of our being covered with thick darkness and impenetrable confusion. It pleases him to sanctify his dispensations towards us, so as to make us die to the world and all the vanities of it, and to cut us off from all hopes that we gather in a false profession. It is a great thing to be thus lost; we think and fear that it is final destruction. Nevertheless we perceive that God's ways and thoughts are not ours. He purposes to crucify in us the old man, and to create in us a new and living principle, called the new man, in which he is pleased to dwell. The new cannot take place without pulling down the old; which is to us most dreadful, because our fleshly wisdom and the devil so miscolour and falsely represent the truth, that we should be brought to final despair, did not the Lord counteract it by that sweet hope you mention in your letter.
I am truly glad that you cannot rest without knowing that Christ is yours, and you are his. I trust it is his design that you should not rest, and that for this cause he suffers so many fears and misgivings to arise in your mind, that by them you may be taught to pray under a feeling sense of your need. You and I are on the confines of eternity; and what real substance can you find here that can relieve your troubled mind? None, I am sure. One kind look of mercy from the Lord makes every crook straight; and I believe his mercy to you is such that he will confound every attempt at gaining relief, except in himself. This in due time will bring you to be without strength; and when the Lord sees that your "power is gone, and there is none shut up nor left", that is, no reserve in secret, but a complete falling down before him, then you will be surprised with a sweet revelation of his everlasting love and mercy to you. This is the way the Lord seeks and saves the lost sheep of the house of Israel, and this is the way I believe he will seek and save you. Be not disheartened; pray without ceasing; and his word will sweetly speak upon your heart, and whisper, "This is the way; walk you in it" (Isaiah 30:21).
There are many terrible things that overtake the children of God, and we are apt to forget that the Word says, "By terrible things in righteousness will you answer us, O God of our salvation." I entreat you to stand in awe of all the painful fears and feelings you endure, and see if they do not lead you to be very sober and tender, and have a great tendency to break the neck of that levity which so much abounds in us all. It pleases God often to bring good out of these seeming evils; therefore do not repine nor be overmuch cast down, but watch unto prayer, and see what the Lord will do for you, and what he is all day long doing in you. If you gain not comfort all at once, yet in this sober walk you will gain instruction, caution, admonition, reproof, and many things that may be exceedingly profitable; and the Lord will not be far off, but will one day tell you, "I know the thoughts that I think toward you, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."
May the Lord encourage you thus to hope, and you will not be disappointed world without end (Jeremiah 29:11-13).
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 242
(To Mr. D.) London, 27 September 1842.
My dear Friend,
Since I had the pleasure of knowing you I have been much interested in the account you gave of your leaving C— and L— and coming to Hertford. It is evident that God had some peculiar design in it, and you have let the whole of that dispensation pass by without coming to the right knowledge of it. I have often heard you half bemoan the spiritual darkness and decay that so quickly followed the appearance of spiritual life; but half things will not do in religion, and though you cannot quicken your own soul, I fear there seems but little spiritual labor to beg of God to do it.
Abraham pursued his obedience to God's words until the knife was on the throat of Isaac, and it was then the Lord appeared, and called him the father of the faithful. Jacob was under as many difficulties as you, and I dare say felt his weakness more than you; yet he wrestled with the Angel, and would not let him go without a blessing. We also find David surrounded with all sorts of fears, and he cried unto the Lord and not only found relief in and from present trouble, but he says the Lord also gave him promises "for a great while to come". So it is said of all the fathers; they cried unto the Lord, and were delivered; they trusted, and were not confounded. I also have known many set-fast places, and am surrounded with many fears, yet the Lord encourages me to hope in his Word; he is unceasingly telling me, "Men ought always to pray and not to faint;" and I am seldom long at this exercise before I am encouraged to hope, and find fresh light upon my path.
How hard it is to keep conscience honest! We shrink, and quibble, and twist things into a different light from that in which the Spirit shows them; and this brings on fear and terror, out of the abundance of which we are made to cry, "Lord, save, or I perish." This is no easy work. We say, "Search me, O God, and try me," without the least meaning or desire it should be so. You may think you pray in this way honestly, but "the heart is deceitful above all things", and you presently cry out for a little more slumber. Were you but half aware of the danger of your state you would give the Lord no rest until some change take place.
Perhaps you have not duly considered the condition in which it has pleased God to place you, a constant hearer of his Word. What can be the meaning of those words: "But they made light of it" (Matthew 22:5)? That saying belongs not only to such as mock, but to such also as do not profit. It is God's design that in some way we should be fruitful branches; instead of which there appears an uncommon weariness in those things which the Savior sets forth as absolutely needful to be found in his followers. Understanding in some measure what should be, but like Felix declining the word of exhortation for the present, and saying you will send for the Savior at a more convenient season, namely, when you are more alive in soul, as you suppose. These are dangerous things; nevertheless there is mercy with the Lord, that he may be feared; and if you set your heart to seek you will surely find.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 243
(To C. G.) London, 17 October 1842.
My dear Friend,
I was sincerely glad to see your letter, but you overlooked the subject of mine, which was written under many alarming fears respecting myself, how I should finish my course. But that Friend you speak of, who came to you at midnight, also brought to me some of that Bread of eternal life which was, and is still, my comfort and nourishment. Your religion and mine would indeed be at a very low ebb if we attained to nothing to urge us to seek his face. I find that if nothing else is sent for that purpose, the Lord is pleased by many ways to raise an alarm ("at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the Bridegroom comes"), and this teaches me to cry until I find his merciful presence some way encouraging me to hope; and I am assured if I seek for that wisdom which you speak of, as for silver, and search for it as for hid treasures, then shall I "understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God". But the watching and waiting enters more deeply into our life, walk, and conversation, than we are at first sight aware. For how long do we go unwatchful, when beclouded, not examining the cause of it, nor considering in what manner the Lord is showing his displeasure! On this account we are often ready to conclude (when the alarm is given) that the Lord is now intending to bring us to nothing, and utterly to crush our profession. If we had been watching and waiting, we should understand the Lord's tender care in checking and stopping a fruitless profession, and teaching us the necessity of spiritual communion with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and our interest in this marvelous and inestimable treasure (Luke 11:5-13; Matthew 25:1-13).
If our hearts are set upon these things, we may be assured that the enemy will oppose, alarm, and terrify by all means, and none more frightful than inserting into the mind blasphemous thoughts and sights which no human soul can invent, and then accusing the poor soul of the things which are altogether of his own hatching. Such a one cannot be persuaded but that it is the sin of his nature, and that he shall be brought to destruction for it, except by the almighty power of God, who in due time shows him whence these terrifying things arise, and that Jesus Christ himself was "led up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil". Here an objection will be raised, that Christ's temptations were not like ours; but I would ask the meaning of these words: "Tempted in all points like as we are" (though he was without sin); and again: "In that he himself has suffered, being tempted, he is able to support them who are tempted." I know all this is suffered to bring us to understand our weakness, and the desperate state that sin has brought us to. All glorying is set aside here, all self is put to the blush, and we begin to feel what it is to be lost. One ray of light sets the Savior in a most sweet and precious view, and we cry out, "How great is his goodness, and how great is his beauty!" These are the things that give savor to the salt, life in our profession, and teach us to write vanity on all created comforts (Hebrews 4:15; 2:18; Zechariah 9:17).
I was truly glad to hear that Mrs. Morris felt the sound of alarm in her conscience on the doctor's sentence; tell her to ponder well that though it was but the doctor's sentence, no doubt the voice of God was in it; and I trust the Lord said in her heart, "Arise you and depart, for this is not your rest." She has had repeated admonitions in the long illness of her husband, but now again must be taken in hand: the Lord makes no mistakes. Did she ever read or understand this: "The kingdom of Heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force"? A light profession brings nothing in: branches in the Vine must be fruitful, or cut off. A knowledge of doctrine, or even an approval of true religion, is not vital godliness. The furnace brings to light who are who; and those who cannot receive hard sayings, nor bear to be told, "Strait is the gate and narrow is the way that leads to life," will soon find an easier, broader way which will end in despair: but if, where many are offended, such a thought as this arises: "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life," then I say, these workings in the mind show that we are led of the Spirit, will stand the fire, and come forth as gold. I exceedingly desire that she may attain to all this, and have such bright evidences as shall comfort her in a dying hour. I hope also that her husband does not forget the fearful apprehension of danger he felt when in the hottest of his trial, and that there can be no relief but in Jesus Christ.
How awful do I see the general profession of your parish; they are all swallowed up with free will. I find no religion but in the furnace: it is almost entirely set aside by the professing world, where is little else but vain and frothy joy, which blows away with all sorts of errors, and when most needed is utterly extinguished. If my health and life be spared, and the Lord permit another visit among you, I fear the way will be pointed out narrower than many will like: but the will of the Lord be done.
Those hopeless feelings you mention spring out of a backsliding heart; the straitness lies there, not in the Lord. We grow faint and weary in our minds for want of communication with the tried people of God, and the preaching of the Word. It pleases God to suffer us to degenerate into these states, that we may be deeply convinced how barren and unfruitful we are without the daily renewals that the Lord speaks of in his Word.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 244
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 20 October 1842.
My dear Friend,
I was very glad to receive your letter, and think I perceive that the Lord is leading you into that path of tribulation which shall prove your calling to be of him. You may collect a number to hear you from many causes, but if you set before them the daily cross and the furnace, you will find many to serve you as they served the Savior: "they walked no more with him." The few that are enabled to hear and receive the Word will be glad to find one that has already passed through what seem to them most sad and stick-fast places. I would not naturally like to be so weak, so dark, so ignorant; but I believe the Lord brings me down to such a condition, not only to teach me to pray and look only to the Lord Jesus Christ for my evidences, but that I may declare in a pure language the way and manner in which the Lord saves his people, through the sovereign mercy of Christ, displayed in the behalf of the most wretched sinners. I know not how to get from this point, nor how to express the manner of God's bringing us down, down, down, and keeping us down in this low place, and there showing us all the glorious things he has promised in this world and in eternity. I feel the flesh at times to revolt; but when the Lord gives me but one transient look, I beg pardon for my rebellion, and with all my heart acknowledge his wisdom in all his ways with me.
I often think of your little community, and what the Lord will do to make his work manifest. I could desire to see more life in some; and I believe the Lord will give it to you, and from you its savor will be spread; and, inasmuch as your own spirit grows, so will it be with the people. May the Lord comfort your heart with repeated fresh tokens of favor, and bid you be of good cheer, because of his power and mercy towards a poor seeking people.
I often wish our dear friend W. could by the help of the Lord "leap over a wall", but the grievous clog of unbelief prevents his springing. In meditating on these words: "To be spiritually minded is life and peace," it struck me that many sorrow because they cannot attain to this peace, and do not notice the life which is often to be seen where the peace is not manifest. Godly sorrow for sin is most certainly spiritual life; and that, with many more graces of the Spirit, may be found in exercise, while as yet peace is not felt. This ought to encourage us; and if the encouragement come from the Lord, it will have a pressing power to urge us not to rest until he is pleased to brighten our evidences, and give us that peace "which passes all understanding"; and this will "keep our hearts and minds, through Christ Jesus", from all the vanities of this life, and make us watchful that the day of the Lord should not overtake us as a thief in the night.
What you say of the simplicity which appears in —, I also say, I wonder. The Savior's words proved many, so that at last they could walk no more with him. The trial makes manifest, but at present he has all things, within and without, sailing with a fair wind. We, by the mercy of God, and by that alone, have found that the wind often changes, and storms arise, and at first we see not how nor whence they spring; but when "God thunders marvelously with his voice", we "stagger like a drunken man", and know not what the end will be. But "the Lord has his way in the whirlwind and in the storm," and though he bring us to our wit's end, yet if we be in his purpose of mercy, he presently says, "Peace, be still." This is the calm that stills the accusations of the law, conscience, and Satan, and causes that spiritual-mindedness which is life and peace. But O, to be wrecked in that storm! Christ is called the Rock of offence; and it is said, "Whoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken; but on whoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder."
I witnessed our friend Mr. T. draw his last breath on Tuesday morning. The Lord visited him with sweet supporting power, so that he was abundantly satisfied.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 245
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 10 November 1842.
My dear Friend,
I assure you that I am daily and increasingly exercised as the time approaches that is named for my going into Shropshire. I have had some very sweet encouragements, and some very terrible damping fears, arising from various quarters. I have known what trouble means since I saw you, but the Lord is with me, and I sometimes venture to hope that by it I shall be taught some useful lessons for the afflicted people of God in the way of counsel and encouragement. I am made to put my head very low. "Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God." I am sure it is but very few that know much of this sweet grace of humility: the oftener I find the least taste of it, the more I feel how scanty a portion I possess; and with great shame I see and acknowledge the necessity of a daily cross. I only begin to feel what a vile sinner I am, and the small discovery almost makes me despair, yet pray and cry I do, and must; and here, sooner or later, the compassion of the Lord is moved, and hope springs up. "Though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies. For he does not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men." My sins are the cause of my afflictions. I ardently desire to take up my cross, and in patience to possess my soul; and am often, by the mercy of God, enabled to do so. His Word is very sweet, and his smiles, when I have them, very precious, and my fears and troubles then very small. At other times I mourn and cry, "How long, Lord? Will you be angry forever?" My eyes and my heart are continually watching, and I sorely fear to grieve the Spirit of God. Oh! how often do I beg the Lord to forgive my blunders of all sorts, to lay no sin to my charge, but give me a right honest heart to confess and forsake it, and obtain the promised mercy.
Tell all my friends that their profession will be tried to the uttermost, and that there can be no salvation but through the fiery furnace. The Refiner who sits over it is a tender, careful, and powerful Friend, and will take care that he loses nothing worth preserving; but his eyes being "as a flame of fire", he discovers many a "refuge of lies", which at the beginning of our profession was not duly considered nor feared. This "terrible thing" (Exodus 34:10), which God does with his people, is the only safe way to the heavenly kingdom.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 246
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) The Grove, Pulverbach, 1 January 1843.
My dear Friend,
I feel myself much affected with what you say respecting our friends the s; their condition begins to wear a very serious aspect. I have seldom seen the Lord send afflictions single-handed where he has purposes of carrying on a work of grace. It is easy for us to seek to raise ourselves, and to make many (what we call very necessary) movements to promote our well-doing in this life, and we are not aware there is but one way: "Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God", let your spirits sink some degrees lower. The Lord never takes a severe advantage of such steps, but in many ways exalts those who take them. Coming down is hard work, but the Lord requires it. I have shed many tears in this dark valley, which amounted to nothing but self-pity; yet, afterwards the Spirit has enlightened me to understand that before spiritual and divine honor there must be humility, and this can only be brought about by humbling circumstances. Here we begin to learn that God takes notice of none but these humble ones, and to gain a little encouragement; for we perceive something of his design, namely, that he is working for our good. We gain clearer views of the manner of his dealing with his afflicted people, in giving them many sweet tokens of his favor; and we begin to find there are more comforts in the low place than we expected, and this works patience; pride is cut down, and neither thought needful nor allowed, but feared; and our ears are opened to "hear the rod, and who has appointed it" (Micah 6:9). Boston says: "Affliction calls men down from their heights, and plucks away their mirthful feathers wherein they prided themselves, and rubs off their paint and varnish; whereby they appear more in their native deformity."
I had occasion to speak today upon these words: "When the sun went down, and it was dark, behold a smoking furnace and a burning lamp" (Genesis 15:12-17). I could not help calling to mind the terrible afflictions the Lord had brought me safely through, in consequence of which the lamp of my profession had many bright shining evidences of the mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ. These are the things which make the lamp to burn bright. I was led to show that the smoking furnace denotes the various and heavy troubles that the people of God are called to endure, and the darkness and confusion that often attends the entrance into them. I told the people they all knew in their country what a literal furnace meant, for they could see for miles on a dark night the fire and smoke that issued from them; and that I had known many such spiritual furnaces, and had feared they would never end, and I never find any way of escape. I have said with Asaph, "How long, Lord? Will you be angry forever? Shall your jealousy burn like fire?" But there has always been some relief when it came to this, for then the Lord has come with some encouragement, and I have been enabled to acknowledge my need of these afflictions, both to bring down my proud heart, and to make fresh and further discoveries of his everlasting love and mercy to me. Sukey was greatly comforted with what I said on this subject; she said her heart was quite full.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 247
Pulverbach, 1 January 1843.
My dear James Bourne,
I fancy I can see you bemoaning your case, and saying within yourself, This seems very hard, I fear the hand of the Lord is gone out against me, and that I shall be Mara, not Naomi. Only consider how wise God is, and that the government of all things is upon his almighty shoulders. He will act as a Sovereign, and give no account of his matters. Perhaps you cannot fathom his designs, but can you not venture to hope that they are for good towards you? The very circumstance you look at with suspicion, as evil, may be God's way of keeping you under the Word, and of giving you a keener appetite for it.
Unbelief, or carnal wisdom, meeting with no small conceit and consequence, finds it hard work to agree with the Lord that it is his design to do you good by these dispensations; it will rather consider them as so many black marks of his purpose of utterly pulling you to pieces. This was the way the Lord began with me; and for the want of that good instruction which you have under a faithful ministry, I was long entangled in confusion, not knowing which way to take; but the Lord mercifully kept his eye upon me to preserve me from utterly departing from him, and by many trials and adversities of all sorts he brought me to bow and stoop under his mighty hand. At last I began to understand that it was the Lord who had taken me in hand, and that though I had struggled hard to escape, all attempts to do so were vain. But he was pleased to give me a little light and understanding in his gracious purpose, which brought me to many confessions; and to my surprise, the more I came this way, the more the Lord instructed me. "I was brought low, and he helped me." Then I searched more particularly in his Word what sort of sinners find mercy, and how; and I was further surprised to see that the promised rest was only for the troubled, and that his people were a poor and afflicted people; but let them be never so low, he made me to understand that he would have me in all my difficulties to trust in the Lord Jesus Christ.
Therefore, my dear young friend, do not be disheartened at what is before you; there can be no real ground for fear, if it be Jesus you are seeking. He will take care that all crooks shall be made straight; and though you may have to rough it for awhile, only watch his coming and going, and you will never be a loser.
Your faithful friend, James Bourne
Letter 248
(To the Rev. R. M.) Pulverbach, 4 January 1843.
My dear Friend,
I was once in very sore trouble some years back, and thought I had come to the end of all things, and should never more know comfort; and these words became exceedingly precious to me: "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy: he who goes forth and weeps, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him." Since I have been here those last words are continually sounding very quietly in my heart, while meditating on and delivering my subject, and while conversing with any of the people; they come also in the night, and in prayer; and something says, Do not you remember how happy you were when the words were first applied, and you could not make out what bringing the sheaves with you meant? Do not you now begin to see some truth in those words? I cannot, and dare not, set them aside, but feel both comforted and encouraged to hope that the Lord is in some way accomplishing them.
The Word preached begins to make a great stir in this parish, which excites many fears in my heart; but the Lord is very near, and often comforts me in the course of the day. The people in general seem in the very deepest possible stupidity and ignorance, yet many have terrible fears, and know not how to get understanding, but wander up and down for lack of knowledge. Sukey is truly in earnest, and sweetly enjoys the Word, and is seldom sent away without some fresh power on her heart.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 249
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) Pulverbach, 8 January 1843.
My dear Friend,
I have by the mercy of God finished my day's labor. I had many fears and many misgivings, thinking my subject was much too high for one like me; and though I was in prayer the night before, yet I could not find that spiritual liberty I wished. When I arrived at the room and saw the people collecting, my heart sank, and it made me in earnest with the Lord, and he heard my cry, and my subject unfolded from these words: "Through him we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father" (Ephesians 2:18). The Lord was very near to me, and helped me to speak upon that precious doctrine of the Trinity; he also enabled me to point out how each divine Person was engaged in the work of redemption. I set forth, as at the beginning of the chapter, that it is the Spirit that quickens and gives life, and that through Christ we are reconciled to the Father, and that in consequence of this mysterious work of grace upon the heart, according to the purpose hid in God from all eternity, but now revealed, we no longer continue strangers and foreigners, but are fellow-citizens with the saints, and make it manifest by not walking after the flesh, but after the Spirit. "For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God." They know it by the measure of spiritual liberty they have in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1-15). This part I somewhat enlarged upon, and felt a sweet liberty which the Lord had most graciously bestowed upon me, with much comfort in my own heart. I believe that many were enabled to receive the Word; and though I set forth, by the help of God, his eternal purpose in Christ Jesus in saving some and not all, yet they seemed patiently to endure it. I spoke also of that foolish supposition which some advance, that if they are elected they may live as they like; though the apostle says, "We are created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God has before ordained that we should walk in them;" namely, godly fear, repentance unto life, and self-abhorrence.
This subject was so sweet and so extensive that I was obliged to continue it in the evening, when there were present more than I had ever seen before. I found Ephesians 1 a key to my evening's discourse, and am sure that the Spirit helped my infirmity in describing the sovereign choice of God, and how they should be both holy and without blame before him in love, and that all things needful for our salvation were in Christ, and that the sealing of the Spirit would confirm the same; so that we should be quite sure and clear of our interest in these things, which would all be found in a path of great tribulation. I then, by the help of God, showed them the earnest prayer and desire of the apostle, that the God and Father of the Lord Jesus Christ would open the eyes of our, understanding, to know "what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints".
My heart was filled with the love of God, in considering the amazing condescension of the Lord to such worms as we are, and even to me. Can I believe that I am a part of his rich inheritance? As I said, so I write; I cover my face with shame while I consider the value the Lord puts upon me, and the wretched return I make; how often listless and lifeless in my walk, and how often forgetful of his kindness and care. Yet, these are the feelings that make us to abhor ourselves, and repent in dust and ashes; and we are encouraged to hope that the Lord, who says such mighty things, will never leave his afflicted people.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 250
(To the Rev. W. Maddy) Pulverbach, 15 January 1843.
My dear Friend,
How inexpressibly fearful do I feel my situation, and if it were not for the comforting power of God visiting me at times, I should utterly sink. My temptations are on all hands, innumerable threatenings from the enemy, and dreadful fears how I shall finish my course, who am so ready to instruct others. I dare not tell you all my painful fears, yet the Lord comes and oftentimes comforts my heart with such a sweet assurance of his favor, and he has given me such conspicuous answers to prayer, that I cannot but marvel at his goodness. My exercises are very sharp, and I can scarcely give credit to the things the people tell me concerning their profiting by what they hear; yet their tale is so simple that I dare not set it aside. I am kept in continual fear, in a very low place, which enables me to describe such places with feeling; by the mercy of God I can also point out to them the way I get out, namely, by earnest seeking and watching. This daily spiritual exercise keeps out all room for boasting. I think by the tenderness the Lord gives I am not perverse in my way, and that he is often present to comfort and encourage me in the work he has given me to do. How harassing it is to look at inward and outward things, instead of looking to Jesus! How clear I am made to see the way while I am speaking in public, and how hard I find it to put it into practice! I sometimes consider the unspeakably merciful intervention of the Lord Jesus Christ in times of my extremity that are past, and am encouraged, yes, and more than encouraged; I firmly believe he is my hope and sure foundation, and that when the rains descend and the winds beat I shall still stand, because of the Rock on which I am built. But we have need of patience, or the Lord would not have said such great words as these: "Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness." The unceasing assaults of the enemy make us need that perpetual help of the almighty power of God to sustain us.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 251
(To a Friend) Pulverbach, 23 January 1843.
My dear Friend,
I think the people increase every time. My subject yesterday was Luke 9:23, "He said unto them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me." I chose the well-known hymn, "Come, you sinners, poor and wretched;" but as I was about to begin, my eye caught the first line of another hymn on the same page, and I read it to myself: "Keep Christ in view." The words so sweetly entered my heart, that they were as ointment poured forth, and a sweet preparation for prayer and the beginning of my discourse. I endeavored by the help of God, first, to show that all his disciples must carry this cross; next, that it is not all trouble and sorrow, though the cross is necessary for the death of that domineering principle called "the old man." Though the Lord called Peter and others to forsake their nets and all things, yet soon he took them up to the mount and gave them such a glimpse of the glory of Heaven, and such a glorious sight of the eternal Son of God, that they presently said, "It is good for us to be here." The daily cross is lost and forgotten while under the savor of these sweet visits, and we then rejoice in our portion. It is true there is and must he a daily putting off the old man with all his longings and desires; and sometimes it is no small conflict, and we scarcely know which way it will turn; but our mournful sighs and cries move the compassion of the Savior, and he comes in the very time of need to save the sinking soul. Just after the Savior called his disciples to leave all and bear their daily cross, it is said he "opened his mouth and taught them, saying, Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven: blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted." So that I found abundant room to recommend the cross as the only way to all the blessedness set forth in the Word of God. And though a part of the cross is to be hated of all men, yet he who endures makes it manifest that the Lord is his strength, and will be his salvation. The Lord's care of his people under the cross is very manifest; for he condescends (as if it were to meet our wretched infidelity) to tell us that not a hair of our head shall perish. While I write this I feel my heart greatly moved believing that this truth will be verified in me, the chief of sinners; and this encourages me to write as I do to you.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 252
(To a Friend) Pulverbach, January 1843.
My dear Friend,
On Sunday evening I was led to speak from these words (Hebrews 8:5): "See that you make all things according to the pattern showed to you in the mount." God will be worshiped as revealed in his Word, and not according to the foolish fancies of men. "God is a Spirit; and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth." I endeavored to show that the Lord tells his people in an especial manner to remember how he spoke to them at mount Horeb "out of the midst of the fire" (Deuteronomy 4:10-12); that this fire is his wrath revealed to us in a broken law, as the first step to salvation; that for want of this first work there was much light, vain and foolish profession, which ended in worse than nothing; that God did this that we might learn to fear before him all the clays of our life; and that it is by these terrible means we are brought out of Egypt, and become an inheritance for him. I also endeavored to show that this was the way to eternal life, though so contrary to the wisdom of the flesh, and that here the Spirit reveals Christ as a new and living way to the Father, removes the wrath, reconciles the sinner, and makes Father, Son and Spirit to be our Friend in trouble, and our Deliverer in death from final destruction; but that this work manifests itself, as it is carried on, in godly fear, tenderness of conscience, and a coming forth from the world and the spirit of it. If any should ask, Who are they that manifest this beginning work? I could not help telling them that the plan, form, and pattern of this mysterious work would be shown to such as were ashamed. But I warned them to measure the pattern, and however badly they matched or fitted, if with shame they were enabled to come to the Lord Jesus Christ, he would show them the laws of his house, repentance, humiliation, a broken heart. Such as are conformable to these shall find their way into this mysterious dwelling, and shall know the mournful goings out as well as the reviving and restoring comings in (Ezekiel 43:10, 11).
Poor — said to Sukey Harley, "These are things we never heard before; no minister ever spoke a word to us upon this subject. I feel it is the true way, and what a mercy to have such instruction!"
William Morris seemed much cheered.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 253
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin, Mr. Maydwell, etc.) London, 14 February 1843.
My dear Friends,
I have one more account to give you all, which is to acknowledge the goodness of God during my stay in Shropshire, as well as in bringing me home in safety.
I was at times greatly encouraged and comforted in my heart with the divine power of the Word, though I began generally in much trembling and weakness. For the most part I was made to feel the Word first spoken to myself, and then sounded out to such among the people as had an appetite for it.
Since I came home I have had some sweet tokens of the approbation of God, but these have been sorely tried. I have also sunk very low in fear, and have been ready to give up my hope because of the unwelcomeness of a faithful report. The enemy tells me I shall not have one friend left, and my heart fears the same; I am allowed to encourage, as it is called; but beyond this I am not wanted. He also takes advantage of my castings down, and tells me that these are the tokens I ought to judge by; that I should not speak, for I was never sent to distress his kingdom; and that I ought first to judge myself, and if I will presume to instruct, I ought to be better equipped; and I believe this to be true.
O how I feel I must judge myself very narrowly, and take heed I say nothing but what the Lord enables me to put in practice! How often did I watch this point in Shropshire, and how anxious I was to proceed as the Spirit of God had led me in my own experience; and one especial thing I was made deeply to feel, namely, my great ignorance in all things, and particularly in the spiritual state of others. I cannot express the fear I have lest I should give a wrong judgment, especially where there is any regard paid to what I say. These things abide in my mind, and are attended with continual searchings of heart, because the eye of God is upon me, and he knows my ways and thoughts afar off; and if we are found walking contrary to his Word, his judgments are a great deep, and overtake us long before we are in the least aware. O how I desire to be found in the exercise of that grace of humility! I know it is safe. I dread independence of God, or to be in any way presuming. I know the next step must be a downfall. I am surrounded on all hands with terrible things, and if it please God to keep me watchful and sober and unceasingly crying to him, I know there may be some revival in this bondage, and that the Lord will appear and make me to see that nothing is too hard for him.
On Sunday morning I was much in earnest in prayer, and very anxious to find the Lord in hearing the Word, and the Lord came with sweet power into my heart while Mr. Burrell was commenting on Matthew 17; but in the evening at the sacrament, while he handed the cup I felt the marvelous dying love of the Savior to me. In this I found that sweet liberty which we have in Christ Jesus, and all my bonds were broken, and the Lord drew very near. It was to my soul a full proof of the Lord's approbation on my proceedings at Pulverbach, and gave me power to leave all my fears and misgivings in his hands.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 254
(To P. M. and his wife) London, 20 February 1843.
My dear Friends,
I called at your house before I left Pulverbach, but you were from home. I have often wondered at the manner in which it pleases God to speak upon the sinner's heart; it is often by the weakest means, and at a time when we are little aware of the great weight which God purposes that the Word shall have upon the conscience. It is a great thing to be convinced of sin, for until we feel ourselves condemned to perish we never effectually cry for mercy to the Lord Jesus Christ. It is only to the troubled soul that rest is promised. If the Lord begin to break a sinner's heart it is that in due time he may heal it. The breaking of the heart is a thing the world knows nothing of. It is brought about often by repeated afflictions and disappointments, and we learn by slow degrees that it is the hand of the Lord upon us, and that with all our struggles we cannot get out of his hand; and when we are made to stoop, and yield, and acknowledge we are utterly lost, then the Savior steps in to our relief, and shows us that there is mercy with him for just such miserable sinners as we are. While the Lord is working thus in us, we become sick of the vanities and pleasures of this life, as well as of the company that would allure and entice us from seeking Jesus Christ to stand our Friend. We soon find that either Christ or the vanities of this life must be given up. Christ the eternal Son of God will never dwell in the heart of a carnal or worldly professor, but with the cast-down, broken-hearted, sorrowful sinner. If any pretend to tell you of an easier way, believe them not. All other ways lead to death. There are swarms of religious professors who know nothing of the work of the Spirit upon the heart, and mislead thousands by vain promises of safety, while they themselves are led captive by the devil. I sincerely hope you will lay to heart the deep necessity of a true work of grace; for you will not be able to face death in peace and comfort unless the blood of Jesus Christ cleanse you from all sin. There is a divine secret in these things which is revealed by the Spirit to such as fear God. These shall share in that covenant which God the Father has made in Christ Jesus, and is testified by the Spirit to the consciences of poor wounded, hopeless, helpless sinners. I am made greatly to feel for your spiritual welfare, and hope that you will both manifest that the Spirit of God has sown the incorruptible seed which shall endure to eternal life.
Your faithful well-wisher, James Bourne
Letter 255
(To T. O. and his wife) London, 20 February 1843.
My dear Friends,
I was sincerely glad to see you so constant in hearing me, but you ought to be aware that something more than hearing will be necessary to your salvation. I am told you have got some right notions in your head, but that your feet go another way; that is, you do not live consistently with that profession of religion you make. There is nothing more dangerous to the soul than this, because it is an utter abhorrence in the sight of God, and he often cuts down such in the open face of all men, as an example for others to fear and depart from evil. I hope you will be able to lay this to heart and not seek in any way to deny it, but confess this truth in secret before God, and entreat him to have mercy upon your soul for the sake of his dear Son Jesus Christ. If you perceive the least fear of God to spring up in your heart, instruct your children in the same; and be sure to manifest that fear of God by meeting your family in some way to read a portion of God's Word and to pray together, and make no excuse for your ignorance. Children begin at a very early age to watch their parents, and have often a clear discernment of the spirit in which they walk: they can soon discern sincerity or the want of it in their parents; therefore there needs a spiritual discretion to be given us, how to walk before such as God has committed to our charge.
It is no small thing to become a converted sinner. There will be found in such ten thousand changes and fears, which the Spirit sanctifies to instruct them unceasingly to pray to the Lord Jesus Christ for fresh, clearer, and brighter tokens of his mercy to them. If we only learn to talk about these things, we shall find ourselves sorely at a loss when sickness and death come, and our hopes are built upon a sandy foundation. Take heed, my friends; it is not everybody that possesses the religion you see in Sukey Harley. Vital godliness is a rare thing; anything in the shape of it, not being the real thing, will not stand the fiery trial which is to come upon all men; and woe be to such as come to that and have not the blessed Savior for a Friend.
Give my kind respects to J. P. Tell him to give the Lord no rest until he finds a sweet hope to spring up in his heart that shall be his support in the fiery furnace. Tell R. O. to pray to the Lord that the vanities of youth may not carry him clean away into the world, and he be lost in the general deluge.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 256
(To A. H.) London, 20 February 1843.
My dear Friend,
I am truly glad to hear of your welfare, and that you still hunger after the bread of life; for the Savior says that such shall be filled. I fear that the dangerous places your husband is exposed to will try his profession to the quick. Often so long from home, and no word of exhortation, and the world at all times before him, and a bad example. I am greatly afraid these things will be too strong for him, if he make not God his refuge by constant prayer. I fear that prayer may be forgotten and left off in his pots of beer; and that though not a drunkard, he may be betrayed into excess, and be made to know that God will not be mocked. If he lightly gets over what he heard from me, the Lord can soon break another arm, or lay both him and his family upon a bed of sickness; it therefore becomes him to stand in awe of God while his spirit is in some measure softened by the Word, that his secret fears may prove the working of the Spirit to teach him to cry for mercy to the Lord Jesus Christ. He will quickly stand in need of this mercy when brought before God's bar; and though he may be tempted now to make light of these things, yet he will never be able to stand God's scrutiny when once he arises to judge him, unless he fall flat in spirit at the feet of Christ, and entreat his sovereign mercy.
So must you also do, and your sister Sally. There is but one way. It is a bitter thing to sin against God, and it is dreadful to be convinced of unbelief by the Spirit of God; but all must feel their lost state before they find salvation. I believe that you have tasted of relief from the Savior in some of your troubles, as well as in the dreadful fear that came upon you after you uttered those angry words to Sukey Harley. It is by such convictions we are cured of all self-righteousness, and are made as lost sinners to come to him alone for help; and we become the more astonished that the Savior will look on such abject sinners, and pardon us, or even give us the least hope that we shall not finally perish. I hope it may please God to help you in your approaching trouble, and by it teach you to make use of him, and to remember that in all our afflictions he was afflicted, and therefore knows when and how to help. May he maintain spiritual life in your souls, so that you may be a joy to me and not a grief.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 257
(To B. B.) London, 20 February 1843.
My dear Friend,
I have often thought of the sharp exercises which you have been called upon to endure, yet you can now see how marvelously the eye of God was upon you to preserve you from ruin. This consideration should be to you a continual source of admiration and praise; preserved until called, and now brought sensibly to feel the mercy of God to you in Christ Jesus. I would by no means dishearten you, but I would remind you that this world is full of thieves and robbers, and that they generally come in the night of affliction. The Savior gives us a particular caution, that as we know not what hour the thief will come, we should watch, and by confession and prayer, not suffer our souls to be robbed. We are continually backsliding in some way or other, and then is the time for the enemy to make his advances. He is watching while we are straying from the good Shepherd, and then robs us of our most valuable jewels, faith and hope, and puts in their place presumption and natural affection, and these soon bring on despondency and unbelief; and when once we are made prisoners in Doubting Castle, we find it no easy matter to get out, for this thief that has robbed us turns accuser, and tells us of our shameful ways in departing from the Lord; and we find plenty within to prove the truth of the charge, and to make us fear, either that the Lord will never forgive us, or that he never did anything for us. When we are thus down, and the Lord is pleased to leave us thus forlorn to learn a little more of the exceeding sinfulness of sin, then the grand adversary comes with all his might, and brings on a most terrible fear of death in the very place where we can least bear it. The thoughts of being brought to the bar of God with all this terrible burden upon us drink up our spirits, and under this heavy load we are bowed down very low. It pleases God to sanctify these troubles to his elect, so that by his management they are to us as ballast to a ship. They have a tendency to humble and steady the soul, and cure us of that levity and vanity which is so much seen in a light profession. When we have had many sights of God's infinite holiness and his unsearchable judgments, we cannot but tremble even while we rejoice. There is much said in the Word of God about standing in awe, and having the Lord in reverence. Of late years I have, by the mercy of God, been led to read the Bible more carefully than formerly; in consequence of which I am made to walk in greater fear, not slavish but filial fear, exceedingly anxious not to quench the Spirit, nor to grieve him.
The enemy will take every advantage to work the fear of death in the heart of God's elect, and by it draw them to dishonor, in the furnace of affliction, him who has made so many mighty promises to help the helpless and to stand by the friendless. A general idea that God will be with us, and that the fear of death will not touch us, will avail nothing when it comes to the point. Such untried confidence will fall like the house upon the sands. When I have found myself overwhelmed with that fear, I have cried to the Lord, and unceasingly besought him to remove it and give me some hope; and to my surprise he has removed it, and given me a sweet hope that he will be with me in that tremendous hour. Such promises, founded on God's Word and brought into the heart by the Spirit of God, are sure to stand; nevertheless we are continually losing sight of them in fresh fears, and find we can only go again the same way to work, that our tokens may be renewed. While the sweet love of God rules in the heart, all fear and torment is cast out; but the Lord tells us the days of darkness shall be many. Therefore he also further warns us, "Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise" (Proverbs 6:6-8). I sincerely hope this will be your way, and that in every trial you may come off more than conqueror through Jesus Christ.
Tell your fellow-servant to give the Lord no rest until she finds clear evidences of the Lord's mercy and favor towards her; and both of you remember you are called to endure hardness as good soldiers, and that there must be no turning back in the day of battle.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 258
(To M. D.) London, 22 February 1843.
My dear Friend,
It gave me sincere pleasure to see you so desirous of instruction. If I mistake not the Word of God entered your heart, and the Spirit convinced you of sin, producing many fears and misgivings; for while the Lord Jesus Christ is out of sight there is no hope of Heaven, and at such a time death is often brought very near, and the guilty spirit sinks very low. Thus the Lord brings us to a sense of our utter ruin; and the way is safe, though it appears very dreadful, for by these terrible means we are made steady; our lightness is burnt up in this furnace, and we learn to value the Savior more. I know you were not without some encouragement; and though you soon lose the sweetness of this in the trial, yet if the work be of God, you will learn to cry to him under the heaviest darkness and misery. It is said of the hypocrites in heart that they cry not when God binds them (Job 36:13). It is a marvelous thing to be brought to understand, and more so to feel, the wrath of God in a broken law. Your fellow-servant can tell you of a thousand snares that will be laid for your feet, to keep you from coming to Christ for mercy; and the enemy will subtly whisper in your ears that you have only to go to worship, for there is nothing more to be known. This will be done to make you contented without a sense of Christ's pardoning love; and if he can persuade you to this point, your profession will soon wither, and you become a fruitless branch. I hope that all you in the same house will make it manifest that you walk in the same spirit. If, through a backsliding heart, you withdraw, there will be ground to suspect your profession is not sincere. I believe you will have your religion sharply tried, even so that all about you shall see whether the Lord stands by you or not. I do not write this to dishearten you, but to forewarn you, that you may lay up many petitions to the Lord against. that day.
If you are tempted to seek the Lord where he is never to be found, you will find this will bring you into great confusion. Excuse what I am about to say. The Lord will never send you among the congregation of the dead for spiritual food. Be tender of God's honor, and true and honest to your convictions. If you argue or reason with the devil, he, being a special pleader, will soon put you out of countenance, and make you firmly believe you will be ruined forever, if you walk so contrary to your interest; all will forsake you, and you will come to want. This is language I am accustomed to, and have often been made to fear the worst, but being through mercy secretly supported by the power of God, I have stood my ground, and found all threatenings come to nothing, my conscience comforted, and God honored. Human contrivances always fail; God will blow upon them. We may think we should prefer a voyage to Tarshish, but God designs we shall go to Nineveh; and to Nineveh we shall go, if we go to the bottom of the sea first. "The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way." Therefore pray for godly simplicity, for "a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways". May the Lord give you abundance of spiritual life and discernment, that you may escape the terrible snares all round about you, and that you may come clear out as "a vessel unto honor, sanctified and meet for the Master's use".
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 259
(To M. C.) London, 21 February 1843.
My dear Friend,
I do not know how you have gone on since I left Pulverbach, but this I know, that a path of tribulation is appointed for all God's people; and that we may not be disheartened, the Lord has told us he will not leave us comfortless, but will come to our relief again and again. This way is so appointed in infinite wisdom to keep us from the spirit of the world, which carries thousands in a vain profession of religion headlong to destruction. I would gladly hope your religion is not of this sort, but of that which will abide the fiery trial, and so prove it to be the work of the Spirit of God.
I often wonder whether any of those who were strangers to me received the word preached as the Word of God, and by the power of it have been brought to seek the Lord more earnestly now I am gone, so as to show it was indeed the Word of God, and not merely what they heard from me. In the parable of the sower you must remember that some of the seed sprang up very quickly, and as quickly perished, to show that where the Word of God makes but a slight impression, it is soon wiped away by slight temptation. The Savior does not tell us these things to discourage us, but to forewarn us not to be too much surprised when those about us, who have made a fair show of religion, for want of that first work which you have often heard me describe, wither before the fruit be ripe, and so manifest themselves to be fruitless branches, which men abounding in all manner of errors gather into their company, and all of them are consumed together.
That first work which I allude to is God's bringing us out of the world, by temptations, signs, wonders, war, and by a mighty hand, and stretched out arm, and by great terrors, and by his making us to hear his voice, and causing us to tremble at the sight and discovery of our lost condition. The Spirit of God uses these means to teach us the unspeakable value of the dying love of the Savior to such sinners as we are found to be; and where this love is applied to the guilty conscience, it removes all that superabundance of the love of the world and its vanities, and gives new desires, even for communion with the Lord Jesus Christ and with the Father of all mercies. The Spirit of God also works a secret desire that all this may be kept alive in the midst of the death that is round about us; and that when spiritual decay comes on, we may manifest that the Lord is still with us by a secret mourning and crying after him to restore our souls, not resting until he appears again. This sort of religion has life in it, will support us in all our afflictions, and comfort us in the hour of death.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 260
(To Mr. Harrow) Hertford, 7 March 1843.
My dear Friend,
You have been on my mind since I saw you on Sunday evening, for I know that all faintings in elderly people betoken bodily infirmity. I also know full well that the enemy never loses an opportunity to alarm us, whether there be danger or not; and as he comes as a thief in the night, we are not always so awake as immediately to put on the whole armor of God; and no other armor can be proof against the dreadful fears and misgivings which he brings. Yet such is the marvelous mercy of our God, that when we are led to mourn and humble ourselves under these painful alarms, then (as the Psalmist sweetly sings), "He raises up the poor out of the dust, and lifts the needy out of the dunghill," to which we naturally cleave. It is true the enemy comes as a terrible blast, and "as a storm against the wall"; but if I may be allowed to speak, this is the very place where the Lord has always, without fail, been my refuge, and given me "a feast of fat things, full of marrow", and refreshed my frightened soul with "wines on the lees well refined"; and here does the Lord "swallow up death in victory", and wipe away all tears of sorrow and fear (Isaiah 25:4-9).
When once we feel the sweet power of Christ's love in our hearts, we can leave all events in his hands, quite persuaded that he will work all things wisely after the counsel of his own will; and he makes us feel with the sweetest assurance the value he puts upon us, and that he will take care to oppose all other claims. "They shall be mine, says the Lord of hosts, in that day when I make up my jewels; and I will spare them as a man spares his own son that serves him" (Malachi 3:17).
I know not how it is, but I perceive a sweet savor of rest while I write to you on this subject, as if it were not a shadow but a real substance that will uphold the spirit in a dying hour, and carry us safely through the valley of the shadow of death without the tormenting fears with which we are often threatened. May the Lord greatly comfort you, sick or well, and give you an abundance of peace. I have often felt, in our meetings for many years, that though you have said but little, you have fully understood the path of affliction and tribulation that I have spoken of, as well as the mighty deliverances God has wrought. It is this that unites the spirits of those who fear God, and they become sharers of each other's troubles as well as consolations; and here I desire to join you; and remain, my dear friend,
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 261
London, 28 March 1843.
Dear Mrs. Rayment,
Do you think when David said (Psalm 60), "O God, you have cast us off, you have scattered us, you have been displeased," that this happened before he had tasted of the goodness and mercy of God? O no! Only in the psalm before he says, "I will sing of your power; I will sing aloud of your mercy;" and this is to teach us that the Lord's people are subject to many changes, though he declares he changes not. If you read the last verse of Matthew 3, it is said, "Lo, a voice from Heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased;" and in the first verse of the next chapter it is said, "Then was Jesus led up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil." Again we read Peter, James, and John were taken up into the mountain, and had a wonderful display of the glory of Christ, and something of a sight of Heaven and the glorified saints; yet after this they had many changes, and some dreadful ones overtook Peter, so that he even denied knowing anything about the Lord. I am sure I have had many sweet seasons wherein the Lord has drawn very near to me, and for the time I have felt as if I could never lose sight of these sweet assurances of eternal life; yet I have afterwards been filled with ten thousand fears lest I should have mistaken the way altogether; but every fresh visit and every return of his favor has, without fail, restored to me a clear understanding of all the way the Lord has led me from the beginning.
We should soon grow independent of God if we were not often brought into these low places; as one among us says, In prosperity we are somebody, but when affliction comes we are nobody; and it is God's design we should be nobody in our own estimation. I have no doubt you have quite worn out all the light and comfort you found in your late visitation, and have been unwilling to part with it; perhaps you have often spoken of it with a heart as dry as a potsherd, seeking to feed upon your comforts instead of Christ. These presently become dry breasts, and leave us to mourn over our sad condition, and we begin to perceive that the Comforter who should relieve our souls has departed. This brings us upon our knees, like Daniel; and here the Spirit, though not now a comforter, does not altogether depart, but reproves us "of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment"; and many secret backslidings are brought to light, much pride discovered, which the Lord will not suffer; and thus once more we are put into the furnace, to teach us to come down a few staves lower, and to take the lowest room. Jeremiah tells us why the showers have been withheld (Jeremiah 3:1-3), and the Spirit bears a secret testimony in our consciences to the truth of the charge; and if we can honestly agree to this, we shall find in confession and prayer that the Lord is a shelter and refuge from every storm. This appears to me a turning point. It is in a humble acknowledgment of the truth of God's charges, and in stooping under them, that a way of escape presently appears.
I believe it will not be long before you get out of your fears and darkness; and when you do, then remember not only me, but poor Hastings, your son-in-law. Give him to understand that the strong hand of God is upon him, and that it will be his mercy not to get out of his hand without obtaining some sense of God's mercy to his soul. Tell him to ponder well the death of poor —, and how doleful such an end is without having Christ for a friend, or knowing anything of the way the Lord saves sinners. I think it has pleased God to show him how frail he is, and that neither business nor health is at his own disposal; and when these discoveries are made, they are to teach us to be often in secret seeking the Lord, both in prayer, and in diligently reading his Word. The Lord has been long visiting every part of your family, and it will be a great mercy to you all if you understand his voice. It is a day in which he speaks by alarming dispensations: let not the day pass without many cries. That the Lord may comfort all your hearts, is the sincere desire of
Your faithful friend, James Bourne
Letter 262
(To S. H. of Snailbeach, Shropshire) London, 3 April 1843.
Dear Friend in the Lord,
I was truly glad to see your letter, and was much comforted and encouraged by it. I perceive my friend knows the path of tribulation as well as I do, and I am made to acknowledge at times with all my heart the absolute necessity of it. Without this sharp work we have a heart to believe any lie, hear any false doctrine, and give the right hand of fellowship to all sorts. But the furnace of sanctified affliction brings all down in a low place, so that we are made really to feel that none but Jesus can do helpless sinners good; and that nothing but that truth which the Holy Spirit applies can be received with healing efficacy in a broken heart. I should advise you to take heed both how you hear and what you hear. There is much danger of being misled; our hearts will more rapidly receive a lie than the truth. Nevertheless, in reading the Word of God and in prayer and watching thereunto, you will find that the Lord will direct you safely, and preserve you from the fatal errors that are round about you.
I have had many changes since I saw you, and am often so cast down as to he ready to give all up, but in these low places he helps my infirmities in prayer, and causes hope to abound; his Word is often very sweet, and comes with such saving power as to bring me up out of all the low depths of misery I fall into. My heart is very much impressed with the cases of you all, and though I am old, yet I feel a great and anxious desire to see you all again, and set forth the riches of the Savior's grace to poor, unhappy, afflicted, broken-hearted sinners. The Lord can make use of the feeblest means, and often does, to confound the wisdom of those who think themselves wise.
If you were not troubled on every side, you would never find any suitableness in the Savior. It is to the troubled soul he gives rest. I have always found the sweetest relief in the lowest places. There is no trouble that can come upon the children of God but it is said, "There is an end, and your expectation shall not be cut off." Men may talk like fools, and tell us it is our duty to believe; but when the Spirit convinces us of our unbelief, then we perceive this unbelief is like gates of brass and bars of iron, and none can remove it but he who convinces us of it. And I am sure it is not in my power to repent though I would give ten thousand worlds to do so. I am taught that it is the gift of God in Jesus Christ. "Him has God exalted with his right hand to be a Prince and a Savior, for to give repentance to Israel, and forgiveness of sins." Those who talk so lightly of these low places, you will find (if you watch them) they are those who wallow in sin, and whose consciences are lashing them all the day long for their sin; but if you and I are cast down (let the cause be what it may) we know we must come in confession and prayer to the fountain opened for sin and impurity, and never rest until Jesus Christ comes by the Spirit, and applies those healing streams with divine power to our wounded consciences. Then our frames and feelings, as they call them, are too heavenly to make light of, for we are lost in the contemplation of Christ's sovereign mercy to us the most wretched sinners. It is because the men that talk with you know not the Spirit's work that they advance such errors, if possible to bring you into bondage; but I truly hope better things of you, that I shall yet see that the Lord manifests his love and mercy to you so that it may be known and read of all men, and that your spirit may be preserved from the universal error of the day.
Remember me kindly to your fellow miners J. P. and R. O., and let them read this letter.
Yours faithfully, James Bourne
Letter 263
(To M. G.) London, 4 April 1843.
My dear Friend,
How true it is that when the Savior first comes to reveal himself to a poor sinner, he finds him dark, ignorant, and helpless. It is quite as much so with us as it was with the woman of Samaria. Her convictions were very secret, but the Lord found means of searching her heart, and brought her to the acknowledgment of her need of a Savior. O what pains he is set forth as taking to instruct her, and how slowly she comprehended the truths he opened to her! Does not this show us what need we have of patience towards others, and always to bear in mind, "Be not high-minded, but fear"? Though you stand, it is by faith, and you are yet open to all manner of temptations. No doubt the Lord conveyed to that woman (and to you by the same word) that spiritual thirst which is there spoken of, and something of a discovery that Christ was the well of living water which alone could satisfy that thirst. He also discovered to her (and does daily discover it to us) that God is a Spirit, and they that worship him aright must have the teaching of the Spirit to know how to approach unto him; and that there will be found in the heart so prepared by the Holy Spirit a godly simplicity and sincerity, which will not be natural but divine. This especial work of the Spirit upon the heart brings in the kindness, pity, and compassion of the Savior, because the Spirit makes intercession for us according to the will of God, and according to our deep necessities. Here begin a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, and an ardent seeking to know him more fully; and to our great surprise in various dispensations he shows us his tender care, and gives us a spiritual perception of his drawing near; and while we are wondering and pondering whether all our searches and researches are really of God, he whispers, "I that speak unto you" (in all these various changes) "am he" (John 4).
The Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, testifies of these things; Christ does not leave us comfortless, but comes unto us; and these visits, every now and then, though transient, satisfy us of that he said: "I am in the Father, and you in me, and I in you." This making their abode with us is the earnest of the future inheritance, and is maintained in the heart through faith which works by love, and the Comforter opens our eyes, ears, and understandings to all the various circumstances of his wonderful undertaking of our wretched cases. How often have I been heavy laden and very sorrowful (as I now am), yet the recollection of many sweet things the Lord has spoken upon my heart brings in a measure of peace and much patience. I acknowledge I feel a conflict between the flesh and the spirit, and I sometimes am at a pause to say which is prevalent, but these sweet endearing words seem to turn the scale: "Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. You have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you." As if he said, Remember, I have often told you that you shall have many changes; but keep your eyes up steadily to me, and you shall always in due time find relief (John 14:15-29).
It is thus we gain that sweet knowledge of the Lord. He manifests his mercy and love to us under our dreadful fears and misgivings, and so counteracts all our miseries that we are made under the marvelous displays of his loving-kindness and tender mercy to cry out "My Lord and my God!" The power that attends this brings in sweet peace, and we learn more clearly that all fullness is in him for the express purpose of filling our emptiness. He is also the Rock that will never give way; if it were not so, I must have sunk long since. A daily cross lies heavy upon me, and nothing but the sweet and powerful manifestations of Christ's love to my heart, repeated afresh, keep me steadily and unceasingly crying to him, and are the means of my lot being maintained.
I sincerely hope you will continue to meet together on the Lord's day. Beware of decays.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 264
London, 4 April 1843.
Dear B. B.
I am truly happy to find that the daily cross is so sanctified to you as to be the means of communicating spiritual life. It is this that the Lord makes use of to teach me to pray. You and I know what self-will means, and our secret intentions of bringing about our vain speculations; but a wiser eye has been over us to put a stop to these vanities. If "the power of God and the wisdom of God" had not been on our side we should have made shipwreck of all long ago. The Apostle Paul proves that unless we bear about in the body "the dying of the Lord Jesus", we cannot make it manifest that "the life of Jesus" is in us. What is very mysterious to the wisdom of the flesh is that no spiritual life can be found in us but in the conflict against all the natural craving and desires of the flesh. This daily dying to all that we naturally desire is no small cross; nevertheless the apostle calls it "our light affliction which is but for a moment", and says that it "works for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; while we look not at the things which are seen" (including all the things which we think desirable for the flesh), "but at the things which are not seen", that is, the invincible power of God which makes all things work together for our good; and if we are enabled to look at this, the daily dying by crucifixion will be one of the blessings discovered to us for our safety and well-being (2 Corinthians 4:8-18).
What you write is true. Where Christ is found, there is the cross. Spiritual life maintained in the soul is so discordant to the religion of the day that we must be hated and scorned by all sorts who have not the Spirit of God in them. I am also sure that they cannot understand that mystery which you name: "Blessed are the dead that die in the Lord." This truly signifies a twofold death; death to all created vanities, as well as temporal death; the blessedness of which consists in the sting of death being removed, which is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. Oh the toiling and fruitless labors of a legal spirit for a false rest! Whereas he who obtains the blessing above spoken of has the sweet testimony of the Spirit in his conscience that his rest is provided for in Christ Jesus.
And now, my friend, when the Lord thus gives us these sweet things, he then usually puts us into the furnace to show us how they will constantly stand the fire. I have been so foolish at times as to think and say to myself, Surely this will be the last trial; surely now I may escape; and after this sweetness and power of the Savior's love and tender care I shall not so readily lose sight of that gracious drawing of the Spirit which has won my best affections. And perhaps while I am contemplating all this, I open the Bible and read, "I am the true Vine, and my Father is the gardener. Every branch in me that bears not fruit he takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, he purges it, that it may bring forth more fruit." In those low places, fearing I have lost my way, the Lord has often showed me, and does now show me, that he purposely brings us low to deal with us not as servants, but as friends. "Henceforth I call you not servants, for the servant knows not what his Lord does; but I call you friends, for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you." And what things does he hear from the Father? He hears him say, and in the furnace often repeatedly tells us, that if we were of the world we should be without the cross, but because he has chosen us out of the world (and in the furnace of affliction) therefore the world hates us. When the Comforter comes he clears all these matters, and testifies to our consciences that this death and tribulation is the straightforward road to eternal life (John 15:1, 2, 15-19).
Your faithful friend in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 265
(To Mr. S.) London, 28 April 1843.
My dear Friend,
I have been for some time very much cast down on all hands, and this was one reason I could not write to you. But on Tuesday last the weight of my burden was intolerable. I was bowed down so as to fear I should never lift up my head again; but in reading these words I found some very precious encouragement, "They that dwell under his shadow shall return; they shall revive as the corn, and grow as the vine." This had a personal reference to my case, and filled my heart with peace.
Boston says it is a great mercy to have a holy and silent admiration of the dealings of God, though to us unsearchable. We are apt to arraign the divine proceedings before the bar of our pride; but if we are rightly taught we shall be led to think soberly of those mysterious providences of God that we cannot fathom. Humiliation of spirit makes all difficulties of this sort to vanish. God is ever at work to humble us all; and in whatever situation of life the God of providence has placed his people, he has certain badges of humiliation on them, whether they be noticed or not. It is therefore (he adds) our mercy, while God is humbling us, to find grace to humble ourselves under his mighty hand. The Lord has enabled me seriously to ponder the same truths, and to perceive that the valley of humiliation is very fruitful in many things that are exceedingly precious. He works in my heart at times such sweet submission and contrition, that I seem to overflow with peace, and a full acknowledgment of the wisdom and tenderness of God in all his dispensations towards me.
What you write is very true. It is easy to say, but very hard to do. It was easy for the second son in the parable to say, "I go, sir;" but he went not. To be convinced of this want of power is a lesson the Lord is always teaching his people from first to last; nor must you be disheartened when you compare yourself with others, but rather watch and see how your heart beats towards the possession of the truth; and whether there is a flinching at the cross, and a seeking for an easy way which is not cast up in God's Word. Surely if this be not the case we have good ground to hope that the Lord is gradually leading you in a safe way to a city of habitation.
We have no need to seek for trouble, but let us be downright in earnest to seek the Lord, and we shall soon see that the enemy will raise a storm out of nothing; nor will he ever cease from seeking to fill us with fears, dismay, and perplexity of all sorts, as well as to stir up adversaries on all hands to dishearten. Nevertheless the Lord says, "It shall turn to you for a testimony."
Yours faithfully, James Bourne
Letter 266
London, 14 May 1843.
Dear Mrs. Thaine,
I must reply to yours in a few words to express my gladness at hearing that — has found such relief in her trouble. I would observe what Hart says, not to dishearten — but the words are these, "From that moment the conflict begins." We generally feel a hope, when the Lord appears for us and we perceive that the blood of Jesus Christ has cleansed us from all sin, that now the conflict has ended. I believe I was (by the mercy of God) brought out into the sweetest and clearest liberty that a poor prisoner could know, but it was not long before this sweet liberty was tried, and I was again brought to the utmost extremity of despair; yet even there the Lord appeared, and from those depths set my feet upon the Rock of ages by these inexpressibly sweet words, You shall return in the power of the Spirit; and as you write, I heard the words in so low a whisper that at first I did not know them to be from the Lord, but they were increased seven times, until the power was such that I walked in the sweet and uninterrupted joy of them for six weeks. Since I first knew the Lord, I have been taught many lessons, which before I had not in the least learned; and the Lord has no way of teaching his people effectually but in the furnace (and my proud heart needed it more than most); yet by the mercy of God I have lost nothing in trouble but what might well be spared, and I trust I have by the divine teaching gained many useful and profitable lessons.
This morning my family reading was from the words, "The needy shall not always be forgotten" (Psalm 9:18); and I found a precious key to them in Isaiah 44, "Remember these, O Jacob and Israel, for you are my servant, . . . you shall not be forgotten of me." While pondering what the first words, "Remember these," could mean, something seemed to say, Begin the chapter. There I saw God's eternal choice of his people; and the words, "I will help you; fear not," came with inexpressible power and sweetness, and melted my heart. Then, "I will pour water upon him that is thirsty;" I felt my need of this, and the water of life flowed abundantly into my heart; "and floods upon the dry ground;" here also I had the witness of both within myself, that is, both the dryness and native barrenness of my heart, and also the floods of God's mercy and favor to me in Christ Jesus, which satisfied and refreshed my weary soul. But further, "I will pour my Spirit upon your seed, and my blessing upon your offspring." This filled me with the sweetest hope, but I must forbear upon that subject. The comfort still continued as I read, "Fear you not, neither be afraid; have I not told you from that time, and declared it? you are even my witnesses." Then for many verses there is a description of idols and how they are made, and the Lord declares they "shall not profit". I told my family that these were the vanities of youth and vain speculations of men, which never produced anything but spiritual death; as Mrs. R. said lately, when I reminded her of her early profession, hard upon forty years ago, "It was that light, foolish, and vain profession, and that inattention to the faithful ministry in my young days, that has brought all this misery and darkness in my old age now; and I am made to mourn and be ashamed." As I proceeded it was as if the Lord said, "Remember these," that is, all the wills and shalls I have left on record in this chapter, when you come into trouble; and though there may be a need for trouble and heaviness, yet still "you are my servant and shall not be forgotten of me." Also remember that though "I have blotted out as a thick cloud your transgressions," and though "I have redeemed you," yet many "liars" and "diviners" within and without will seek to blur this work, and will often cause a thick cloud to cover the spirit; but I will frustrate these, and confirm and perform "the counsel of my messengers" (that is, a faithful ministry), so that all "decayed places" shall be raised up again and again. And what seemed to crown the whole was that the Lord, who will do this, says to every deep place of misery and despair, "Be dry." Blessed be God, I have found this repeatedly in my pilgrimage; as the Savior said, "Peace, be still," and there was a great calm.
May the Lord instruct you all in this mysterious path of life; and be assured that where spiritual life is found, there will eternal life most certainly follow.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 267
Matlock, June 1843.
Dear Miss H.,
You see how I am tossed about, and am called from home perpetually through various causes. I am continually reminded that "bonds and afflictions abide me" in every place. New troubles arise out of new circumstances, and I find a perpetual need of crying to the Lord for help. I am made to know that my sins call for perpetual blows, and that nothing but a daily cross can keep me under a feeling sense of my need of the Lord's help.
O how sweet have these words in Psalm 72 been to me today: "He shall come down like rain upon the mown grass;" not the grass growing with all its mirthful colors, but the grass that has been cut down, this rain refreshes. I cannot express to you the endearing feeling of the Lord's love to my soul that came in the reading of that psalm, and how many things and circumstances it brought quickly to my mind; Lord (I said), shall I be precious to you under such a trouble? Will you look in this way upon me under such a circumstance, and shall my fears at such a time be regarded by you? May I indeed hope that your eye is so upon me? And I found the Lord confirmed the whole, and assured my heart that his dominion was from sea to sea, and that all kings (the king of terrors among them) should fall down before him; and that he would redeem my soul from deceit and violence, from all the deceit of the world, the flesh, and the devil; and that I should be enabled to say, "Blessed be the Lord God, the God of Israel, who only does wondrous things; and blessed be his glorious name forever."
This is a path of great tribulation, but I think you must acknowledge, as the tribulation has abounded, so also has the consolation abounded. My sincere desire is, that you and your sisters may all find grace to choose this rugged way, rather than the smooth pretensions of modern religion, which has no daily cross in it, nor any understanding that our blessed Savior Jesus Christ is not only loving, tender, and compassionate to us in all our troubles, but has eyes "like a flaming fire" to pierce through the secrets of the heart, and to discover its dreadful deception and hypocrisy. The easy profession of the day calls this bondage, and brings an evil report upon the good land, and tells us that the difficulties are too great, and the enemies are giants, and their cities walled to Heaven; and thus it misleads men, and sets them down short of the real and promised rest. I sincerely desire that the eyes of you all may be open to the dreadful and increasing danger of errors which are now heard in infinite variety; and with which, if we fear not, we shall certainly be defiled as with pitch. The apostle says, "Who is sufficient for these things?" None. "But" (he adds) "our sufficiency is of God;" and may God be yours and mine, or we shall never stand the dreadful hour of temptation that shall come upon all.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 268
(To M. H.) Matlock, 25 June 1843.
My dear Friend,
I was very glad of your last letter and the manner in which you received mine, and I can truly sympathize with you under the power of strong temptations in thinking that others draw conclusions respecting your case very disheartening to you; but they are such as others dare not hold, at least I feel I dare do nothing that might touch or wound the fear of God in another. Nevertheless I would endeavor to show you the subtle power of the enemy, if possible, to bind down your spirit under such thoughts, and keep your heart and mind from seeking at the hand of God such evidences as accompany salvation. It will not be once or twice finding some comfort from the Lord that will help us in any fresh attacks of the enemy, but every trouble must have its outlet or issue in the blood of sprinkling. This is the exercise of spiritual life manifested, and it will have such a sweet effect upon our spirits, that we shall understand that divine charity thinks no evil, bears all provocations, and does not judge rashly, but in a spirit of meekness, in honor preferring others. It is astonishing how little and low in our own estimation the true grace of God makes us to feel ourselves. When the centurion said, "I am not worthy that you should come under my roof, but speak the word only," then the Savior is said to have marveled, and to have declared he had not found such faith, no, not in Israel. O this low place! I have been long inured to it, and must acknowledge I have found it very precious; for here the fruits and graces of the Holy Spirit grow, and their savor flows out to the comfort and refreshment of the afflicted people of God. His teaching sobers the mind, and brings us out from the fashion and spirit of the world, having a tendency to make a clean separation from it, as the Savior says: "I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hates you;" and you must always remember that you, his servant, are not greater than your Lord, of whom it is written, "They hated me without a cause" (John 15:18-25).
My desire is that you may come to a clear understanding of the mysterious work of salvation upon your own heart; this will reconcile all difficulties, and make every crook straight, and you will know what it is to walk with God in peace. In the world you will and must have unceasing tribulations, but you must have your mind drawn out to Jesus Christ, who bids you be of good cheer in the midst of all your troubles, because he has overcome the world, and will sooner or later assure your heart that you too shall overcome through him. This is all my expectation in my trials, and if the Lord should stand my Friend to the end, of which at times I have a lively hope, then I can well ascribe all the glory to Father, Son, and Spirit; and I am sure my sincere desire is that you may find the same.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 269
(To his Daughter P.) Matlock, 9 July 1843.
My dear Child,
I was very glad to see your note, and must say I hope the Lord will instruct, so that the discoveries that are made of the evil of your nature may lead you in all humility to fear and tremble; for surely a vain and light religion only leads to death and destruction. Your letter conveys much instruction to yourself under your present fears. When they really work effectually, we are not able to understand that there can be any Advocate with the Father to favor or plead our cause, but greatly fear lest the trouble we find should prove nothing else but the sheer displeasure of God. It is this that drinks up the spirit and doubles our affliction. There are seasons now and then when the Lord sends a ray of light into the heart to show the poor soul that there is hope for such, but these are so transient as to leave us very quickly to fear they were not real. The whole of our profession should lead us not to despair, however waste and desolate we may feel. It will indeed be a wonderful mercy if you should escape that eternal death into which the world in general rushes with such rash delight; and if it should please the Lord effectually to bring you out of all snares and vanities, and give you a good hope in the mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ, this will be a treasure above all earthly prosperity, or what the world calls doing well in life. None can do so well in life as those who, through the mercy of God, are enabled to make Christ Jesus their Counselor and Friend; he alone sticks closer than a brother, and can and will defend us in all our bitter trials; for surely there is no way to the kingdom but through the furnace of affliction, and we are sure to do well if the Son of man be with us there.
I hope the Lord will also direct your present affairs, and not suffer lightness to bring guilt upon your spirit, but that your trials may sober your mind. I do not look for an old warrior in one at eighteen years of age, but I would tell you what Solomon says, "Childhood and youth are vanity;" and you had need to beware of this, because the snares of the devil are very subtle and beguiling.
Your affectionate father, James Bourne
Letter 270
(To M. H.) Matlock, 20 July 1843.
My dear Friend,
I was truly comforted with your description of your conflict. I felt you had a right view of that divine union which exists between the eternal Son of God and his elect people. However short and transient these sweet seasons are, they are nevertheless very confirming for the time being, and leave a sweet savor which cannot be so quickly lost as the comfort often is. I not only understand you, but truly desire to be a partaker of the same consolation; and I am sure the next time the Lord visits you, he will confirm this which is past, and show you by all these changes the necessity of spiritual diligence and continual watchfulness. I know, as well as you, that these seasons do refresh both body and soul; they also humble us in the dust, and make all created comforts appear nothing but vanity; but they make the Lord Jesus Christ (as you say) "the chief among ten thousand", yes, "altogether lovely", to the lost undone criminal to whom he comes with a full discharge. This is better felt than expressed; one moment to be at the point of despair, and then presently to find, through the mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ, hope abounding, and all guilt and misery removed.
I can most truly enter into your feelings of continual changes. If ever so peaceful in the morning, I am soon disturbed and robbed of my peace, and filled with sorrow and fear; and these sorrows are often long, and the comforts very short. Yet I believe by these changes the Lord keeps us humble and dependent, and without any room to boast, learning to die to the world and all its vanities, and to live more to the Lord Jesus Christ. It is by troubles the Lord, by little and little, teaches us to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, which before are last sought. God will not be mocked; and there are many ways of mocking, for it is nothing else when we walk lightly in our profession, and the things that are lame are not healed; or when the world or any vanity comes first, and Christ is put in the background. This is sure to be resented, and the furnace to be prepared to purge off all such dross. The Lord will have his vessels of mercy fit for the heavenly Refiner's use, and this can only be done by the spirit of burning. I often regret that there seems so little profit in the things I have suffered, though I dare not say it is altogether in vain. I have seen much of the goodness and mercy of the Lord in my troubles, which I never should have known in an easy path; so that I must say with one of old, "He has done all things well."
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 271
(To S. M. B.) Matlock, 23 July 1843.
My dear young Friend,
I was very glad and much surprised to see a letter from you. Those that are brought up in the strict profession of religion (though a wrong one) have a ready notion of many things, and it is often more difficult to deal with such than with those who have been altogether in the world. You have a very clear discovery of your own condition both as to the danger and the means of recovery. The way that these things are really brought right is by the furnace of affliction. The Lord says, "The fire shall try every man's work, of what sort it is." You have many fears lest the work upon your heart should not prove a right one; this fire will prove it. If it be "wood, hay, stubble", or any such thing, it will presently be burnt up, and leave the soul in some way short of what will prove its salvation. The light which discovers your danger, so that you cry mightily to God for help, and brings in a sweet hope of relief, is no doubt the light of life; but the hour of temptation comes and cuts off this hope and removes it like a tree, and then you begin to fear you were mistaken, and that the Lord never as yet did anything for you, and that you are altogether in your sins. This is the way the true child of God is exercised; and his misery is such, through the quickening power of the Spirit, that he cannot help renewing the attack, and ceases not until the Lord again gives him fresh hope, and brings in a clear view of all that is past; and presently this too is gone as the last, and leaves him once more to bemoan his presumption (as he thinks it to be). But the intercession of Christ is still in being, and works secretly in his heart, to look once more (as Jonah did) toward God's holy temple, and this once more again revives the hope; and thus, as wave succeeds wave, so does the Lord renew his visits to the poor, seeking, sinking sinner. I find it so to the present day. To none but the destitute will the Lord appear; and to be brought to that point is no small thing. It will make us truly in earnest, and put an end to all half and quarter seekings. When the publican was brought to this, he presently uttered a short cry: "God be merciful to me a sinner;" and when Peter began to sink, Christ alone could do him any service. The vanities of youth, with all the fair prospects he might have, seemed to him but small when he was sinking in the unfathomable waters. So with us, when we have no way of escape, and no hope of help, and all seems against us in Heaven and earth, then to call and find the Lord regards our cry, this is indeed marvelous, and will bring us clean out of all hindrances of flesh and spirit, and draw us very near to Jesus Christ, the Fountain of life.
It is a mercy to find the kind hand of God in his providence in our favor; and if it humble us and make us still more dependent on him, then we are sure the blessing of God comes with it, and have great cause for an abundance of gratitude. I sincerely hope this and every spiritual blessing may attend you and your brothers.
Yours faithfully, James Bourne
Letter 272
(To Mrs. T.) Hertford, 2 September 1843.
My dear Cousin,
Although it is late on Saturday night, yet I cannot refrain from telling you how I have lost the power of writing. I am so ignorant as not to know how I shall properly set forth the high praises and beauty of the Lord Jesus Christ, who is so condescending as to visit me in my low condition, full of wants of all sorts; but having his sweet presence, I find them all supplied. It may be well said that all fullness is in him; for when I have been under the most desolate and destitute feeling that a poor sinner could be, some portion of this fullness has quite satisfied my empty soul, and that according to his Word: "He has filled the hungry with good things; and the rich he has sent empty away" (Luke 2:53). If you ask, What are the good things with which he fills you? O, my dear cousin, he fills me with shame and confusion of face because of my disputing his Word, and he fills me with self-loathing because of my manifold transgressions; he fills me with godly sorrow and repentance unto life, which lay me low at his feet. He enables me to kiss the rod and the hand that lays it on; he makes me to admire his wisdom in it, and shows me this is the way a tender and pitiful Father will deal with an untoward child; and the feeling of his sparing mercy and long-suffering towards me causes hope to abound, and makes me most cordially to accept the punishment of my sins. These are all good things which the Lord and Savior does for me and in me, and so teaches me, by many changes, to say with Hezekiah, "O Lord, by these things men live, and in all these things is the life of my spirit."
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 273
(To Mrs. T.) Hertford, 11 September 1843.
My dear Cousin,
It is a terrible thing for us to be under the searching of God, who has said, "All the churches shall know that I am he who searches the reins and hearts" (Rev. 2:23). When this is going on, all my loveliness turns into corruption and many things that appeared genuine before, are found, under this secret teaching, to be no better than sounding brass. I have had many sweet tokens here of the Lord's great mercy and favor, yet I am continually disputed out of all these, and am ashamed to find so great a readiness to give credit to the dreadful charges of the enemy, instead of keeping my eye steadily upon the Lord Jesus Christ and his wonderful intercession in the behalf of his afflicted people; this is where I fall. I feel perfect safety in the Lord, and am satisfied with his power and willingness to accomplish that which he has so often and so powerfully promised upon my heart, yet there is a continual trembling at his judgments past, present, and to come; and though these do not threaten my final safety, yet they are to me an unfathomable deep that makes me with great fear to stoop very low. It is enough for me, as his child, to be in the dark. I am and have been taught that it is not without a cause the Lord has done all that he has done; therefore I am made in secret silence to justify him with a trembling heart. These my fears may cast many down, but somehow I seem so near and dear to the Lord who afflicts me that I am often made to tremble and rejoice. I am sure by this teaching I am made to die to the world, and to all hopes of mercy but in the sovereign display of it through Jesus Christ. I am sure he does not give me up with all my fears, but looks upon me often as if moved with compassion and touched with the feeling of all my infirmities; and on this account though I walk thorough the valley of humiliation I have no ground to fear, "for you are with me". May you find in all your difficulties the same relief, for I know it is a very present help, and will not fail us in any of our extremities.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 274
(To his Daughter E.) Hertford, 28 September 1843.
My dear Child,
I was sincerely glad to see your note, and that you felt how contrary to what is profitable is that empty visiting, let it be attended ever so much with kindness and friendly intentions. You will soon find out the impossibility of joining the world with spiritual life, and that you must in many ways deny to yourself what appear to the world great advantages.
The Lord knows our various needs, but if we belong to him he will teach us that they are not to be supplied by human prudence, but through earnest prayer to him that he would order our temporal as well as spiritual concerns. We must never lose sight of what the Lord has revealed to us, namely, "I have chosen you in the furnace of affliction;" and while we are looking at the mournful prospect of affliction, let us not forget the great and mighty privilege of being among the number that he has chosen. The enemy is always trying to bend our minds towards the dark side to excite our utmost fears, and when he in any measure gains this point he so disheartens us as to make us think the Lord will have no pleasure in us. He would by all means conceal from us the utter impossibility of attaining to any true knowledge of our adoption, but in and through the furnace of affliction, as set forth in Hebrews 12:Paul especially cautions us (1 Corinthians 10:1-11), "I would not that you should be ignorant how that all our fathers were under the cloud, and all passed through the sea; and were all baptized unto Moses in the cloud and in the sea; and did all eat the same spiritual meat; and did all drink the same spiritual drink; for they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them, and that Rock was Christ." Therefore let us not "tempt Christ" by seeking to avoid the cross, nor let us despair of his gracious help in giving to us, in his way, a hundredfold for all the mighty losses the enemy sets before us, if we are simple sincere followers of the Lord Jesus Christ.
The Lord has never made a great man of me in this world, but has been pleased to make me very little, and by his grace to know it, and to acknowledge his wisdom in it, and cordially to acquiesce; for I have seen nothing desirable arise from the attainment of outward prosperity. If I turn my heart and attention to seek for fellowship with the saints, I perceive it is only to be found among a poor and afflicted people; and, as I told the people this morning, the sweetest spiritual prosperity that I have found has been under the heaviest reproach, the most difficult outward circumstances, the loss of health, and affliction in my family. All these combining together have brought me very, very low; but here the Savior was before me; and has sweetly perfumed the path of humiliation, and made me also to partake of the heavenly fragrance of the fruits that grow in such places. Here I learned to loathe myself; here I learned to pray, and had the sweetest intercession of the Spirit; and here I found the Father's unbounded love in Christ Jesus clearly testified to my conscience by the Spirit; and abiding in this valley I found the Word to be very sweet and to look at me in so friendly a manner that it made me more than satisfied with my portion. These are some few of the things the Lord will give in exchange for shadows and nothings.
Therefore, my dear child, be of good cheer. I often think of these words: "You shall not be forgotten of me;" neither in sickness nor in health, neither in prosperity nor in adversity. It is no small portion to have an eternal inheritance; therefore let us be constantly thinking of our privileges, and especially mind to keep our evidences clear. Nothing will be more conducive to this point than continually watching, and being faithful to our convictions. "In the reproofs of instruction are the ways of life." Be sure you beg for a very tender conscience, and bring no blur upon your evidences; and (as Frank Jeffreys said) "Whatever beclouds or darkens around you, look to Jesus. Yes, whatever darkens, darkens, and thickens, look to Jesus. If you cannot see him, watch, and look, and follow hard after him; that is the way."
From your affectionate father, James Bourne
Letter 275
(To Mrs. T.) Hertford, 4 October 1843.
My dear Cousin,
The time is fast approaching when I purpose leaving this place, and I am anxiously desirous of having the blessing of God in my going out as well as in my coming in. My subject last night was Deuteronomy 8:5, "You shall also consider in your heart that as a man chastens his son, so" (and no otherwise) "the Lord your God chastens you." I have been often made to feel this with all my heart, and it has wrought a very sweet acquiescence; for after speaking thus of chastening us, the Lord presently speaks of bringing us into "a good land, a land of brooks of water, of fountains and depths that spring out of valleys and hills". These depths and fountains in the valleys and hills produced me much to say, because of what I have often found. For in these low valleys I have sunk down into the depths of misery and hopelessness, where I expected nothing but despair; but the Holy Spirit helping my infirmities, I have been taught out of the depths to cry unto the Lord, and then I found with the Psalmist that there was forgiveness with him, and that in waiting and watching, the fountain of life opened for me; then with the apostle I was lost in the contemplation of the love of the Lord Jesus Christ to me, so as to cry out, "O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!"
All this is found in the valley of humiliation; and as in nature there are no valleys but have hills round about them, so spiritually hills of difficulty will surround us in these low places. I have never found trouble single-handed, but my very troubles and humiliating circumstances have laid me open to many further trials; and as in the world you must be slighted in the days of adversity, so we find that even the disciples, when the Savior most needed their commiseration, appeared unmindful of his agony, and presently forsook him and fled. I know the cause in myself. It was because the Lord would not suffer any to ward off the fair blow he meant to lay upon a fool's back. Nevertheless he has most mercifully healed the wound, pouring in the oil and the wine, so as to cheer my soul and fill it with a hope full of immortality; and I have in a measure found that though the Lord will pull down, root up, and plough, yet he will also plant and sow; and even through these dreadful misgivings, will cause us to "eat bread without scarceness", and to have no lack of anything. This is the way the Lord takes to do us good in our latter end.
I continued the same sweet subject this morning, and am surprised how the people can bear with me in showing the sharp work of God's chastening those whom he receives, and how this work will effectually bring us out of a vain profession, and make us earnestly seek for that communion with him, that shall comfort us in our afflictions and in a dying hour.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 276
(To a Clergyman) London, 23 October 1843.
My dear Cousin,
I was sincerely glad to see your letter, and that it appears the good providence of God has placed you for the present where you may exercise a free conscience. I also sincerely hope that you will prove your conscience enlightened by the Spirit of God, so as to be useful to those you have undertaken to teach. If this should be true you are of all men most happy. How many in this island have taken upon themselves to teach others, and have themselves fallen into the most awful errors, and made shipwreck of religion altogether! Instead of that divine and spiritual work which is set forth in the Word of God as absolutely necessary to be found in the hearts of all men that attain to eternal life, instead of this, I say, men have turned to something that is to be performed in certain positions of the body, or in certain dresses, and the work of the Spirit upon the heart is completely set aside. I sincerely hope the Lord will discover to you the danger of the strange errors of the day, and that you will be made very honest and very earnest in your prayers, which run in some such way as this, "From all false doctrine, heresy, and schism; from hardness of heart, and contempt of your Word and commandment, good Lord, deliver us."
If you could fully enter into the danger to which you are exposed you would be much in earnest with the Lord in secret prayer to protect you; and you would be made to feel your weakness and want of understanding either to resist or contend against them. None are safer than those who under a feeling sense of weakness look to the Lord for help. Such never fail, because their battles are the Lord's; but as soon as we take the command and make the battle our own, we are sure to lose the victory, and with shame retreat. Retreat! (say you.) From what? From the truth; and so fall foully into errors and delusions, and firmly believe they are truths. Thousands perish here, going down this awful stream without being aware of their danger. How sincerely glad I shall be to see you preserved from all these various quicksands, and established on the Rock of ages! When the rains descend and the winds blow, the house there built will forever abide; and such builders shall never be ashamed nor confounded world without end.
Your affectionate cousin, James Bourne
Letter 277
(To Mrs. Grimes) London, October 1843.
Dear Friend in the Lord,
It has pleased the Lord to bring you into the dark valley of the shadow of death, and so to enlighten it as to cheer your soul. It is sweet to know that our Savior passed through the same, and showed forth his almighty power in raising himself from the dead, by which he became the resurrection and the life to us. It is your mercy and mine that he is well acquainted with all our fears and misgivings, and has tenderly told us that, when heart and flesh fail, he will be the strength of our heart and our portion forever.
In all the various sick-rooms I have visited, I have seen that the enemy tries hard to confound and alarm the enfeebled soul; but the Lord does most mercifully lift up a standard against him, and defeats his purpose. I witnessed the same on Sunday last in the death of a friend, who said, "The blessed Jesus has taken away the sting of death out of my conscience, and I am full of peace, and have no fears;" and in that happy case I saw him breathe his last most peacefully.
I would have you constant in prayer and watchfulness to keep as much of the Lord's presence as possible. Whatever fills the mind with gloom, carry it at once to the Lord, and cease not until he is pleased to remove it by giving you his sweet presence again. I would have you get your safety in Christ Jesus established in your heart by as much of his sweet and comforting presence as you can obtain. The Lord is a loving Friend to such as cannot live nor die without his taking them by the hand; and when he thus leads them forth, there is a cheerful willingness to follow, as was the case with my departed friend. It is also a sweet and savory example to those about us, when the Lord grants this favor; and it is by such "chaste conversation, coupled with fear", that those about us are often led to seek the same.
I have been truly glad to hear the Lord has most graciously granted you much of his presence, and that you have found the peace I have written about. I assure you I am often surrounded with fears, and am not without them while I write; but I seek the Lord with some hope, that when I come to the verge of Jordan, he will "bid my anxious fears subside".
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 278
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 13 November 1843.
My dear Friend,
I know of nothing more comforting in the time of affliction than to be acquainted with our own condition as fearing God. If our faith can realize our interest in Christ, this will uphold us in our affliction, even when sensible enjoyment is at a low ebb.
We are called kings and priests unto God, and have in our measure the charge of the sanctuary, to see that the vessels are kept full and the lights burning. The heart of a regenerate man is called the temple of the Holy Spirit, and the person himself a priest consecrated to God to keep it diligently, to have the light and power of spiritual knowledge within him, and to nourish this spiritual light and power by drawing continually fresh supplies from Jesus Christ.
For a man to be a real partaker of this divine power, and for the heart to be the habitation of light, the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit must take place. This must be bestowed upon us before we can set forth the true love of God to sinners with any real efficacy. "You were sometimes darkness, but now are you light in the Lord; walk as children of light;" that is, enlightened by the Spirit of God into the mysteries of the new birth, and the liberty that is in Christ Jesus. This is the chief point of divine and spiritual wisdom, not in the head, but graven on the heart in a rich experience.
It is to this that God has called us; and anything short of this, in the present dreadful day of departing from the truth, will dwindle into a form, with some show of outward goodness; but the new birth will be passed over as a needless matter, where there is so much show of divinity, as well as of goodness and of wealth. Such professors will find agreement with those that do not enforce, nor are able distinctly to set forth, the leading doctrines of the gospel; and in that agreement the fair show in the flesh will be concluded to be all that the Scriptures set forth as necessary to be attained to. This sort of profession, which comes within a hair's breadth of the truth, does not quickly show its deviation, but in the course of a few years it may be seen that the power is wanting.
The true gospel gives the light of life, and this will shine in setting forth the new birth, or in showing the broken-hearted sinner, from a heartfelt experience, the saving comfort of Christ's love, and that he saves to the uttermost, because he has saved me. The effectual work of salvation is called daylight, in contradistinction to the night of darkness in which the world of professors lie. But what is this daylight to one shut up in darkness? How can one born blind judge of light, and set it forth before others as glorious? When a poor soul has witnessed the Sun of Righteousness arising with healing in his beams, then such a one can distinctly show the manner of it, and the surprise he found in emerging from the dark night in which he lay. He can tell much of the glory, beauty, and efficacy of the light, and the warmth and comforting power of it. It is amazing to perceive the power of this change; how it brings a disrelish upon the spirit for all created vanities, and so humbles the soul that all vain confidence, dignity, and glorying is laid aside, and nothing left but to speak of the glory of this spiritual and heavenly kingdom of Christ, and to talk of his power.
Many things entangle the soul and keep it from this divine liberty, but if we belong to the Lord he will enable us to leave these nets and to follow him. All that is agreeable to the flesh, whether in repute or any other imagined way, must be dropped; and he who knows anything of the rebellion of his own heart will acknowledge that this is no small thing. To forsake all is very extensive, but it is the only way by which we can let our light shine so as to glorify not ourselves, but God the Author of it. But there is something that will sustain us, when the flattering breath of a few vain friends ceases, who withdraw their interest because of the truth that we set forth and walk in. If all be foregone because Christ is magnified, we shall find a better and more durable portion. It will not shut out the presence of the Lord from us, though it may bring us into disesteem among men. The riches of divine mercy will maintain our lot, when all things else are very dark; and the affections of compassion of our faithful High Priest make so sweetly manifest his love to us, and with his love, give such a heavenly light, as to discover to us that we are taught of God, sanctified by the Spirit, and called a holy people, and are made to hold the riches of this grace in the highest esteem.
Such will be the true effect of obtaining mercy. If a smoother way is preferred, Archbishop Leighton says it is "because we wallow in some puddle with an outward carriage of somewhat smoothness, which ardently seeks after applause while the heart is frozen to God". This bosom idol, however well it may be hidden, eats up all increase; and whatever the beloved sin may be, it is evident that it is held to the shutting out of the manifestation of the love of God. This is called spiritual darkness, and a terrible place it is to be found in, let our outward prosperity and comforts be ever so high. Nothing can be more fearful than to be shut out of the love of God in Christ Jesus.
It is our mercy to be able not to think it "strange concerning the fiery trial", which sometimes deprives us of health, property, friends, conceit of wisdom, and reputation, for all this must take place (as respects our fleshly enjoyment of them) and we be brought to nothing. There can be no salvation until man is brought off from all confidence in these things; and this is a hard matter; for, as Luther says, "As long as a man has a name or anything else that he can call his own, he will never honor the name of God." That is the reason why so much is said in the behalf of the fatherless and destitute, who can derive no comfort nor hope out of Christ. Those who think that the way is hard forget that the Lord judges not those who judge themselves, but justifies and acquits them with all their insufficiency; while others make it manifest that they are not led of the Spirit to confess and forsake their sins, and therefore have no sense of the pardoning love of God.
It is a marvelous thing to be brought to receive dishonor and distress, and to acknowledge God is righteous in suffering it. Praise and honor most fearfully endanger a man; this I know by sad experience. When Daniel was enabled by the grace of God to debase himself, presently an angel was sent to tell him how greatly he was beloved. As this self-abasement and humiliation clearly manifests itself to be of God and brings us near to him, so does pride remove us far from God and from all secret fellowship or communion with the Lord Jesus Christ. This nearness gives us an entrance into the kingdom of righteousness, of which kingdom we must make full proof that we are citizens by the application of Christ's righteousness. Seek first his kingdom and righteousness, for in them is full freedom from all condemnation; and this makes all our strength and faculties subject to God and to his service, and with Paul we are enabled to say, "I live, yet not I, but Christ lives in me."
Alas, what sorrow and fear is felt at the discovery of all shortcomings in these points! But beware of natural affection, lest our passions being moved we be led to mend that in the flesh, which the Lord alone can remedy. Hence come false Christs and fleshly confidences, which entangle all but such as the Lord has in his eternal purpose ordained to eternal life.
The fearfulness and trembling that has taken hold upon me for the most part of these last three or four years has made me to feel the deep necessity of a clear work, because I know every man's work shall be tried, of what sort it is; and as I have witnessed many in a fair profession to end in nothing better than hay or stubble, I am led exceedingly to fear; and I am sure if the Lord had not been on my side, I should have utterly failed. It has been altogether the Lord's sweet and comfortable presence, in a clear sense of his pardoning love, that has been my support, and the life of my soul. This is the cause why I am so strenuous in setting forth the certainty of a path of tribulation. All must pass through this storm, but all will not stand it; and I am anxious to know that I may abide it and those that are dear to me. I fear many in your little community stop short of what would be for their comfort in a dying hour. I am sure they had need to know that except they be born again they cannot see nor enter Christ's spiritual kingdom, nor even know what it means.
I sincerely desire my love to all who are looking for redemption in our Lord Jesus Christ, for such shall never be disappointed world without end.
From your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 279
(To M. C. B.) London, November 1843.
My dear Friend,
I scarcely know how to write to you, I find so many fears and difficulties in the way. I am made very anxious to look for such clear and bright evidences as shall comfort my heart in a dying hour. My sin has spoiled every resting place in this world; and I desire to "bear the indignation of the Lord, because I have sinned against him". When that daily cross which the Lord speaks of lies heavy and sharp upon the shoulders, it is apt to drink up the spirits; but if it be sanctified, the soul borne down by it will cry; and so I find it. This is one of God's mercies bestowed upon me; and no later than yesterday I went sorely burdened to chapel, and there told the Lord my troubles and poured out my heart before him, and though I felt no hope, and was far enough from expectation of help, the Lord broke in upon my spirit and comforted me with many sweet assurances of his favor; and a part of one of Hart's hymns confirmed it:
"Those feeble desires, those wishes so weak,
'Tis Jesus inspires, and bids you still seek.
His Spirit will cherish the life he first gave;
You never shall perish, if Jesus can save."My heart was drawn out to the Lord Jesus Christ, and I found a full confidence in his almighty power; the sweetness in my heart satisfied me that he had manifested that power, assuring me of my eternal salvation in him. This mighty encouragement enabled me to spread all my family afflictions before him, and I was greatly relieved in committing my cares and fears to him as a most kind and faithful Friend.
I shall never be able to tell how my profession is tried; I am sure if it were not of God I must have sunk into despair long since. What awe this brings upon my mind, and how cautious it makes me in the family, when no eye is upon me but the Lord's! How I fear the entanglements of this life in all directions, even in my own house! All improper movements here are apt to eat up our spiritual increase, and to damp our secret approaches to the Lord; and then our emptiness brings us to the place where Adam was when God found him hidden and naked, and sets us sewing a foolish fig-leaf righteousness either in empty words, or pious looks, or feigned humility, all which are an abomination to the Lord; and we are sent empty away, with hearts full of rebellion because nobody will receive our religion. All this is gained, together with mighty confusion and guilt, by departing from the simplicity of the truth. O may the Lord deliver us from these dreadful places, and cause us never to rest until we find such visits from him as are mentioned in this letter.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 280
(To J. S.) London, December 1843.
Dear Friend,
You have been thinking of many things since you left us, and now I would lead your mind to think especially of the work upon your own heart; and first, to return to the time when you stood godfather for the child, and what the Lord then spoke upon your heart; for then did eternal life begin to be manifest in your soul, although you did not understand it. When that impression seemed to wear away, and you walked in many things that again brought you into despair, and filled your soul with dreadful apprehensions of God's wrath against you, so as to cause you to fear you should perish forever, (even at the time you were fearing lest the rocks at Todmorden should fall and crush you as a guilty sinner), though unknown to you, it was the Spirit that helped your infirmities with groanings that could not be uttered, and led you to mutter out that piece of the Lord's prayer which through the intercession of Christ was prevalent, so as to remove for that time the dreadful despair under which you labored. But sin still pursued and overtook you again and again, and all your miseries returned, until you came to the rails in St. Andrew's church at Hertford, and then the Lord Jesus Christ revealed himself to your understanding, so that you fully knew and felt at that time that his precious blood was shed for you. The joy of this was unspeakable; it removed all your misery and guilt, and assured your heart of eternal life and made you long to be with the Lord. This was the new birth; this was the manifestation of the love of God. In his purpose you were saved from eternity, but here you felt that purpose was sweetly made known to you. This is what you ought to listen to in your public hearing, that the ministry should clearly set forth both the anguish of the soul that labors to bring forth, and the joy of the Lord when brought forth. This agreeing with the work within is a means of great establishment.
Then, as our minister told you, you have need to learn that we possess two natures when thus born again. If we do not learn this we shall be apt to fall into much confusion. Let our joy be ever so clear, and really the joy of the Holy Spirit, yet the enemy will never rest until by some means he causes us to fall into difficulties and sin, either in thought, word, or deed; and then he will tell us that if our religion were right we should not be so entangled. When once he gets us to listen to this, he finds a thousand other things to prove we are only hypocrites, and we cannot at once understand "that which I do I allow not", but I really hate that which through the power of temptation I do; for (as the apostle says), "In me, that is, in my flesh, dwells no good thing." I have a will to do that which is right, but I am not able to perform it. All this shows we possess those two natures, called the old man, and the new man; and these will remain to the end of our days. If you and I are kept tender, we shall by walking in the Spirit continually discern and repent of all the evil ways and thoughts that overtake us; and if in this way they are brought into confession before God, and not suffered to rule and control us, then the new man is said to prevail, and the evil is said to be no longer ours, because it is conflicted with, and fought against; and while we are enabled thus to walk we shall find our consciences not condemn us, nor will the Lord find fault with us. My dear young friend, if you are thus watchful against the pride of your heart, you will save yourself many a slip. Be sure you take the lowest room, for if you think you are somebody, or have attained to great things, you are already fallen. It is easier to fall than to get up again.
When you do by the mercy of God in some measure understand these two natures, you will also perceive the intercession of Christ as most marvelous to encourage you in prayer, and also the righteousness of Christ. When the enemy lays hard at you to show you your manifold infirmities and shortcomings, nothing can be more comforting to the distracted soul than to have faith in exercise to put on that beautiful robe in which you stand before God the Father without spot or wrinkle. Luther says, "Where these things are wanting in a church, it is gone out of the way and cannot withstand error." He further says, "Let the body watch and work, that the old man does not become wanton. Do not dance upon the ice, lest you break a bone; but put on the bridle, and walk in the Spirit."
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 281
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, December 1843.
My dear Friend,
My letters to you have sprung out of heavy troubles, wherein I have felt the necessity of clear work, and also have found repeated assurances of God's mercy to me and mine. I am still made to stand in awe of the inscrutable judgments of God, and tremble at their most distant approach. I see that the salvation of Jesus Christ is a great and wonderful thing, and cannot be found to prosper in a light profession. My various troubles by the mercy of God have led me to dig deep, and examine daily what is going on in my conscience. It is the finger of God that is or ought to be seen in all our various daily crosses, whether from ourselves, from the world, or from the people of God; and when we are well convinced of this, we shall find a readier inclination to go at once to him for redress; and I am sure we shall find none elsewhere.
It would have been written in vain, "We went through fire and through water" (Psalm 66:12), if no such things were intended; and if they are, then we should entreat the Lord that we may be able to take the admonition of Peter, "Think it not strange concerning the fiery trial that is to try you." I must confess every fresh trouble is strange with me, and I am so dull a scholar as to be obliged to begin all my lessons over again and again.
The Lord has sent you to be over the few scattered sheep at Hertford, and I am sure it will be your mercy, in experience and by hard spiritual labor, to keep before them. I doubt not you have many anxieties, and also many encouragements to meet your fears. All this springs from spiritual life, and you will reap the fruits in due time. I often look both at you and your little community, and foresee many changes; but I trust all will be to the glory of God and the advancement of the gospel. All things shall work together for good to his people, but many intervening circumstances appear to render this entirely impossible. As our minister said the other day, Who would suppose that the total destruction of Job's family and property would work for good? But that was recorded to encourage us, under the most discouraging circumstances, to hope and pray that the Lord would help us. I am often in that case as to my fears, and find no support whatever but in crying to God. I often feel as if I knew not which way the scale would turn; but the Word, this is my hope, the word of the lord. "They that trust in the Lord shall not be ashamed." And then this is left to see the end of it, "It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord." To find spiritual liberty under such dark dispensations is a mystery, but surely there are many sweet smiles and encouraging drawings. Do tell this to poor Hastings and his wife. I believe that poor woman will most assuredly weather the storm, and that she will yet sing with Mary, "My soul does magnify the Lord, and my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior."
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 282
(To the Rev. C. Jeffreys) London, 21 January 1844.
My dear Friend,
I feel myself much indebted to you, and know of no way of acknowledging it to you so well as by entering a little into the affliction with which it has pleased God to visit you. Affliction is the voice of the Lord, which, it is said, "breaks the cedars" (Psalm 29:5). I have found it one of the greatest mercies of my life that this voice has been spoken to me, so as to break down many of the strongholds of Satan; but it is astonishing, when the Lord gives us the least reprieve, how soon we return to our old state. This is the cause of perpetual contention. God is determined that his purpose of mercy shall not be frustrated, therefore he repeats the blow until he effectually brings us down in the dust before him, and all our flourishing pretensions are laid prostrate at his feet. His design is not to make a full end of his people, only to correct them in measure, and not leave them altogether unpunished (Jeremiah 30:11).
The Lord says, "Seek you first the kingdom of God," but we are too ready to say that this must be a secondary consideration; therefore he always blows upon speculations which are not founded in a regard to his honor, nor carried on with a continual seeking to maintain communion with him. Nothing is so hurtful to the soul as independence of God, and nothing so common as atheistical notions of God's not noticing this or the other matter, though he has told us that not one hair of our heads shall fall without his notice. Those false notions grow into a habit, and if we belong to the Lord he will sooner or later quash that habit by a fearful threatening affliction, making us tremble from head to foot, while we contemplate his dealing with us "by terrible things in righteousness". When such things hang heavy and long upon us, they drink up our spirits, and turn our loveliness into corruption; but in this our abject condition, while we are ready to give up all for lost, the Lord steps forth in our behalf and tells us, "I will heal you of your wounds . . . because they called you an outcast." Thus he fulfills his promise: "You shall be my people, and I will be your God" (Jeremiah 30:17, 22). Were it not so, the world would have us, and we should have a name that we live, but be dead. Therefore lest what should be for our welfare become a trap, he is continually humbling us by various disappointments; until at last we acknowledge that we would be great in this world, but the Lord will not have it so. He not only makes us little in our own estimation, but also in the eyes of the world; and then he shows his marvelous mercy, for he will have it that we are not little in his eyes, but of great price. When fairly brought down into the valley of humiliation we are surprised to find how many sweets grow there, and how often we obtain an entrance into his gracious presence; hope abounds, and the bounty of Heaven is marvelously displayed in ways we never understood before, and the condescension of our God is clearly felt in all his various manifestations of tender care and love and mercy.
In this way he teaches us to live upon his fullness, and not upon something we think ourselves to possess. Our suppositions sink into low estimation in the hot furnace, but the pardoning love of God is raised in value; and now, when beclouded, we feel as if all were lost, and cannot rest until we have a fresh token and display of his love to us in Christ Jesus. Everything now keeps its place. Providential matters are bestowed or withheld at God's pleasure; and we learn to watch, and stand in awe. If he frown, we stoop very low and confess our sin; if he smile, we draw near and admire the riches of his sovereign grace. This is the life of God in the soul. This is walking in the Spirit.
What our minister said this morning upon the following text was exceedingly establishing to me: "I thank you, O Father, Lord of Heaven and earth, because you have hid these things from the wise and prudent, and have revealed them unto babes." I had a sweet testimony that the Lord had brought me down to this, and the overflowing comfort satisfied my soul of the Lord's everlasting love to me in Christ Jesus. You also must go the same way, and indeed this is the way the Lord is leading you. I hope and trust neither you nor Mrs. Jeffreys will quarrel against him because he will choose the way, and not leave that point with you. It is my most sincere desire that you may both continue with the Lord in his temptations, because the cross and the crown will most assuredly go together.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 283
London, 8 February 1844.
Dear Miss H.,
I am sorry to see by the spirit of your letter so much death and darkness, knowing that he who begins the good work "will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ". What grieves me still more is that you should hear so faithful a minister as Mr. Vinall, and yet find so little life communicated. If you felt the danger of these things as I do, you would (I trust) give the Lord no rest until he show you the causes and hindrances that are in the way; for the apostle prays that where that work is begun, there may be an abounding "more and more in knowledge and all judgment, that you may approve things that are excellent" (Philippians 1:6-10).
Alas, how men differ in opinion respecting the things that are here called excellent! I have proved the rod, the cross, and the sharp furnace to be excellent; being sanctified by the Lord, they have been the means of my speaking a "pure language", and of my not going long without some of those sweet and refreshing seasons which he has promised to them that mourn and cry to him. Therefore we approve of the most painful dispensations as excellent, because we find them so profitable to the soul, and in the exercise of them are filled with the fruits of righteousness. If you ask, What are these fruits? I add, Seek first to attain to the righteousness of Jesus Christ, and you will find its work is "peace" and its effect "quietness and assurance forever". Then you will know how to give glory and praise to the Lord, and not be always in so low a condition as to be unable clearly to set forth the distinct work of the Spirit upon your heart; but all dark, dark, and no description of anything particular, only a religious letter about nothing.
I am anxious for your own sake, and especially for your youngest sister's sake, that you should be better instructed, so as to be a wise teacher to her, that she may be encouraged to press at the strait gate, and not be alarmed at a few difficulties, but from you be assured of her attaining, because she sees and hears of your continual prevalency in prayer, through the intercession of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. This is to set the candle upon the candlestick, that all in the house may see it; but if it be put under a bed of ease, it will bring no glory to God.
You and I must be taught that the fault is in ourselves. If once we begin to deny this, we bind ourselves with many chains; but if we are enabled from our heart to acknowledge our foolishness, we shall not lie long before spiritual life and energy will be communicated. The Word of God is full of encouragement to such; but not one kind word does it speak to the backsliding in heart who cannot stoop. This is the watchword: "Come, and let us return unto the Lord, for he has torn, and he will heal us." It is the secret whispering of the Spirit in the heart that leads us to this; and then it is said, "Then shall we know, if we follow on to know the Lord; his going forth is prepared as the morning," which means that there will be light upon our path, and not the confusion you set forth in your letter (Hosea 6:1-3).
Do, my dear friends, excuse my freedom and faithfulness. I have had a sharp warfare, and would willingly point out to you some of the dangers to which you are exposed. I am sure, if you see them not now, you will see them on a dying bed. I have always perceived a something wanting in your profession, but I am not able to discern what that something is. May the Lord make you honest and transparent, and fill your souls with divine and godly simplicity before him; then I am sure you will attain to a clearer and brighter evidence of your interest in Christ Jesus, and then I shall rejoice together with you. I hope sincerely you will both be profited temporally and spiritually by your visit to Brighton.
Believe me etc. James Bourne
P.S. It is most likely I was writing the above while you were writing to me, and as it seems an answer, I venture to send it, that you may see my feelings and fears. I was sincerely pleased to receive this last letter, and hope that before long you and your sister will set forth a clear work. I am sure you will need it when the fiery trial comes on, which "shall try every man's work, of what sort it is". "For every one shall be salted with fire;" and if this be wanting, our profession is good for nothing. I have been utterly astonished to find in these terrible places more of the presence of God and of the teaching of the Spirit than in all other places; also a great readiness and gladness to put into practice the lessons learned in this sharp furnace.
The Holy Spirit of God often advises us in a very secret way what to avoid and what to do; and we find a clear light at the time, and know it to be of God. But this secret teaching often so clashes with many things in the flesh, that we foolishly start aside, just in the place where we ought to make a stand. Hence comes the deadness, darkness, and confusion in which we walk; and the Spirit ceases to be a reprover, because of our not hearkening to his counsel. This again brings on disunion with the tried people of God, and we presently fall into many ways that the Lord never cast up, and a sort of displeasure is felt towards such as are supposed to make the gate straiter than the Savior sets forth. On the contrary, where the divine power reaches the heart it has an amazing constraining effect, attended with great light upon the truth, to receive it most cordially with those also who are manifestly partakers of it. This is the true effect of divine charity, which "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things", and never fails in the time of extremity. It is my sincere desire that you and your sister may be partakers of these heavenly blessings, and that spiritual life may be maintained in your hearts, to the true comfort of the afflicted people of God.
Letter 284
(To Mrs. Grimes) London, 19 February 1844.
Dear Friend on the confines of eternity,
How sweet is the firm belief of the wisdom, power, and goodness of God under our various difficulties; and never more so, perhaps, than in the valley of the shadow of death. How it humbles the soul to be enabled to cast our fears upon the Lord, and to acknowledge the infinite justice of God in the sentence of death under which we lie. Only stoop at his feet, crave his mercy, fall under every charge, and then comes the sweet deliverance we have in Christ Jesus. No sooner did the prodigal say, "Father, I have sinned against Heaven and in your sight, and am no more worthy to be called your son," than we hear no rebuke, no heavy charges of old sins, but, "Bring forth the best robe and put it on him." This is what you are now enjoying, and though subject to clouds, yet never so dark that you totally lose sight of the Father's eternal love to you in Christ Jesus; and every return comes with double sweetness, conveys fresh courage, and shows that our dreadful weakness shall be no hindrance to his unspeakable love, while he thus manifests his power in the midst of all things that seem to the outward observation to be utterly contrary.
Who in the world can understand that the soul shall overflow with peace and joy in the midst of pain and sickness, and in the face of dissolution? yet I have often witnessed that "love is strong as death", and overcomes all difficulties whatever. It is the Spirit of adoption alone that can enable a soul to cast its care on the Lord, which is only done under the sweet persuasion that he cares for us. Archbishop Leighton says, "A weak believer and a strong Savior will be too hard for all that shall rise up against them." The Lord often suffers us to fall into long and lingering afflictions, and so sanctifies them that the sin of our nature is crippled, a fainting faith strengthened, a languishing love quickened, and strong corruptions wounded. In this way the Lord teaches us to be sober and watchful, and we, building ourselves up on our most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, are kept in the love of God, "looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life".
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 285
London, 28 March 1844.
Dear Mrs. Oakley,
Although I feel myself very unfit to comfort another, yet as you are often upon my mind I cannot help inquiring after you. How true is what the Savior says: "Strait is the gate and narrow is the way, which leads unto life." Everything I meet with shows it; the world within and without, the flesh and the devil, are continually seeking to betray us into spiritual death; and it seldom happens that many hours pass but some vanity or other overtakes us, and brings us into bondage. This excites our fears; and if not at once carried to Jesus Christ, "the fountain opened", then despondency and misgiving fears of all sorts take hold upon us, and we begin to dispute whether we ever knew anything aright, or shall ever find the Lord again. This unbelief the devil seeks to establish in the heart, for he knows that it will bring a heavy and black cloud upon all the good things that passed before. But here we manifest whether or not we have spiritual life; if there be life there will be a keen sensibility of danger, which will excite us to cry, and we perceive, sooner or later, the Lord comes in with this sort of encouragement: "The Lord will have mercy upon Jacob, and will yet choose Israel;" and again, "The Lord shall give you rest from your sorrow, and from your fear, and from the hard bondage wherein you were made to serve," and in which the adversary seeks to hold you fast; and then we are enabled most joyfully to say, "How has the oppressor ceased!" (Isaiah 14:1-4).
How true I found all this today! I was full of sorrow and fear, but in reading the Lord was pleased to deliver me from the hard bondage, and give me a sweet feeling and clear views of my spiritual adoption into his family: an heir of God, and a joint-heir with Jesus Christ. O how humbling are these visits, and how clean and clear is the wiping away of all shyness between God and the soul at such times! Then instead of "briars and thorns", the cares and entanglements of this life, there is fruitfulness to God; and his glorious name of pardoning iniquity and delighting in mercy is set forth for the encouragement of the afflicted children of God. And I sincerely desire that you may be a rich partaker of the same in your solitary dwelling, where you have no faithful ministry, and seldom communicate with any who understand these precious and mysterious saving truths. Yet your dwelling is not solitary when the Lord is pleased to pay you a sweet visit; and, as Hart says,
"His presence cheers the soul,
And smooths the rugged way;
He often makes the crooked straight,
And turns the night to day."May the Lord thus comfort you.
Yours faithfully, James Bourne
Letter 286
(To Mr. Nunn) The Grove, Pulverbach, 25 April 1844.
My dear Friend,
I cannot express with what weakness and fear I am among the people here. I find them most sincerely glad to see me, and am much surprised at the effect the Word has had upon them since I first came among them. The very sharp exercises I am generally under seem given me for my subject to set before them; and the manner in which the Lord comforts me under them gives the people encouragement. Sukey Harley said this morning that though it pleased God to convert her many years ago, yet she had not found spiritual food or instruction from any, either in church or chapel, nor ever heard the true gospel preached, until the Lord sent me here. When I was speaking to the people last Sunday of the furnace of affliction, she said she felt such a desire to be holy and to be made fit for Heaven, that she even prayed God to put her in that furnace, because I had said these things come not by infusion, but by sanctified afflictions. She then gave me the following account: "I heard you both times on Sunday with unspeakable comfort, but at night I got exalted. After I had come home, young C— came in and wished to sing a hymn. I joined; and we began to sing the 28th hymn in Hart; but when we had sung that verse:
"Spiritual pride, that rampant beast,
Would rear its haughty head;
True faith would soon be dispossessed,
And carelessness succeed."he burst out crying, and said he was so sorrowful he could sing no more. And now I too" (said Sukey) "began to sink, and to feel the Lord was putting me into the furnace; and the next day I had violent pains in my body, and the Lord frowned upon me all the time; my pains became so agonizing that I thought I should not live one hour, and I could not pray. O the horror of that darkness! for the Lord hid his face. That verse in Rev. 3, 'So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue you out of my mouth,' came like mountains down upon me. I felt the charge of being neither cold nor hot. Oh, how awful to think that the Lord had led me and counseled me ever since the morning of my conversion, and that now he should speak of spewing me out of his mouth. But the words, 'As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten; be zealous therefore, and repent,' encouraged me to cry." I asked her if she had not found comfort, and she said, "O yes, blessed be his Holy Majesty! Glory, glory, be to his Holy Name! My blessed Redeemer has been with me all this morning, bringing scripture after scripture upon my heart; and that scripture also, 'As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten.' I can say with David, 'It is good for me that I have been afflicted,' for I have learned more of the subtle power of the enemy in this fiery trial than I ever knew before; but blessed be my heavenly Father, and blessed be his Son, my Redeemer, he has helped me; and I know that it has been all in love; yes, all in love. O what a cunning adversary we have to do with, but in the Lord what boundless mercy; glory, glory, be to his holy name!"
My subject last night was "Unto me, who am less than the least of all saints, is this grace given, that I should preach among the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ." I could not help setting forth the difficulty of our being brought to such a feeling, "less than the least", but that the Lord never left his people until he had brought them to it; then I endeavored to show that to souls thus humbled is this grace given; and last of all, I attempted to speak of the unsearchable riches of this grace, even the love of Christ shed abroad in the heart, which alone can enable us in any measure "to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth and length and depth and height" of the everlasting love of God (Ephesians 3:8-19).
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 287
(To Mr. Nunn) Pulverbach, May 1844.
My dear Friend,
I have reason every day more and more to bless God for the afflictions which he in rich mercy has hitherto led me through. I am persuaded that by them he has instructed me in many things; especially by that dreadful fear of being utterly crushed which has often brought me very low and filled my soul with such shame that I could not look anybody in the face. Oh, the discoveries of my sin! How near they brought me to despair! What awe this brought into my soul, and how it taught me still to be very little in my own eyes and to put my mouth in the dust, "if so be there might be hope"! I have often and for a long time together stood trembling, not knowing which way the scale would turn, and here to my surprise, the Lord has made himself known to me in an unspeakable manner with some such words as these, "Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."
I cannot but look back to the last three, four, or five years, with much gratitude to the ever blessed Father, Son, and Spirit, and see most clearly that the infinite and eternal God has been graciously teaching me; and as Bunyan says, "I never knew what it was for God to stand by me at all turns, at every offer of Satan to afflict me, as I have found since I came in hither; for as fears have presented themselves, so have supports and encouragements." If the houses and streets could speak they would testify of my despairing feelings, and so would my restless nights; but O the tenderness this wrought, the watchfulness of my spirit, the manner in which my ears were opened to the ministry, and the cutting convictions and reproofs that by the mercy of God were made to enter! I did indeed find in these things the way of life. A cry has been put into my heart, and I now know, what I never before understood, that this cry is the groaning of the Spirit helping my infirmities, and making intercession for a miserable sinner. While I have been hearing our minister telling us of the anguish of his soul, I have been greatly surprised at the joy and comfort I have found, and have been very thankful to have a seat in a private corner where none could observe my tears of joy; and it has filled me with an ardent desire that the Lord would also be with me in my own house. O how many cries and tears I have in secret put up, trembling under the weight of his judgments! How have I warned and cautioned those whom God has given to me in charge! and I must acknowledge his unspeakable mercy in putting an awe upon their minds, so that I have had a lively feeling of the Lord being among us; and this I hope still continues, and makes us all more or less to tremble, not knowing what a day may bring forth.
Adversity, I have observed in myself and in others, is an occasion that is generally taken advantage of. When it pleases God to bring us down, then men think it right to ride over our heads, both publicly and privately. This is for a trial; and I believe that the Lord has sanctified it to my soul, and has often kept me from answering a word, for when the true grace of humility is in exercise, it will with love bear all things.
I have been led to watch the fruits of these various trials, and I perceive by the mercy of God they are many. First, a sweet contentment with the dealings of God, counteracting the fiery darts of anger against those friends and relations that do not even inquire into my manifold fears and afflictions. Secondly, a great increase of understanding in the Scriptures, concerning both the judgment and the mercy of God, and an honest desire to fall into his hands. Thirdly, an assurance, both by the Word, and by the testimony of the most Holy Spirit, of the honesty of my desires to render to the Lord the gift he has in a measure given me, as a helper, to set forth the power, efficacy, and riches of his grace to poor helpless sinners, sorely benighted and hoodwinked by false teachers. And now, lastly (what I am most unwilling to declare), the ten thousand blessings of many poor creatures that have received the word with power. I myself know not how to believe their report, and yet I cannot altogether reject their testimony. I endeavor to declare to them nothing but the afflictions which the Lord has sanctified to me, and the manner in which he has been pleased to appear for me, and to show that God is no respecter of persons, but that all who are enabled to seek him in their trouble with all their heart will find him.
It is a source of humbling to me to see the place so crowded, even by strangers that none of us know; and the extreme stillness is wonderful. My heart both trembles and rejoices; and sometimes I scarcely know how to proceed from the sweet sense of the Lord's presence, and the great fear I feel lest I should grieve the most Holy Spirit of God, so that my soul should be covered with a cloud, and lose the perception of his presence among us.
On our last Wednesday evening I was led to speak from these words, "Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might." I told the people that it was because the power of the devil is so great, and his wiles so many, that nothing less than the almighty power of God, Father, Son and Spirit, can keep us. Therefore the apostle tells us to "put on the whole armor of God", not a part, and repeats it again, that we "may be able to withstand in the evil day". Without this armor we shall fail in the day of temptation. Our loins must be "girt about with truth". Truth I endeavored to show in the highest sense is Christ himself. Errors in doctrine or principle always lead to errors in practice; and nothing can preserve us from these, but Christ "the Way, the Truth, and the Life". We must also have on "the breastplate of righteousness", which is the spotless righteousness of Christ, imputed to us by faith, which arms against every charge from the enemy or from the law. The feet too must be "shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace", for the way is rough and hard and strewed with many thorns, and nothing will keep us from halting, except these shoes of iron and brass, denoting that divine counsel and strength which the Spirit communicates to the laboring soul, and which has been so often attended with these words to me: "As your days your strength shall be." But above all "the shield of faith" must be taken, to defend that withering faith which seems at times to be no faith at all, for the attacks of the enemy are so subtle and unwearied that he ceases not until he persuades us that we have neither faith nor hope; but the Lord takes a sweet advantage of his wiles, and teaches us by them to cry to the Lord our shield; and then we begin to perceive the riches of his grace, and how it quenches or quiets this dreadful and most powerful enemy (Ephesians 6:10-17).
I had some sweet power on my heart in speaking, yet immediately afterwards the arch-enemy disputed the whole until I lost my armor, and thought that like a fool I should end my days in sorrow in this desolate corner; but after some hours, these sweet words were presented to me: "heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ", which brought me to the sweetest contrition; and I began to consider, Who can harm us, and what good thing can we want, if heirs of God with Christ? Here I found the whole armor of God put on by the most Holy Spirit, and myself completely defended from the fiery darts of the enemy; the helmet of salvation was upon my head, and I who but a few moments before held down my head with fear and shame, was enabled to lift it up with hope and joy; and the sword of the Spirit, which is God's Word, was put into my hand, to cut my way through all my enemies.
Your affectionate friend in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 288
(To a Friend) Pulverbach, 5 May 1844.
My dear Friend,
The Lord Jesus Christ has lately enlisted you afresh under his banner, and given you a large bounty; and he, being so graciously liberal and bountiful, tells you to be a good soldier, and as such to learn to endure hardness. If you are led as I am, you will find the battle to wax very hot; and there will be no kindness shown to us by the Captain of our salvation but our great adversary will seek to dispute us out of it. I know nothing more difficult than to turn a deaf ear to this subtle enemy, and to have our ears open to the command of our divine Leader. If we rejoice in the sweet power of the love of God, that enemy rests not until he persuades us that it is presumption. If we are heavily laden with guilt and misery, he tells us we shall never find favor now, after such mercies received, and such ingratitude shown. But with it all, he never could persuade me from crying to the Lord. I have often wondered at this, and have perceived it was the way which the Lord would take to restore me.
I find here, that as soon as I attain to any comfort, the enemy unceasingly attacks me until he has robbed me of it, and then says, What encouragement can you give to the people, who cannot hold fast your hope when you get it? What will you say to them? I assure you I have nothing to say of myself, only that I am perfect weakness, and that there is no help for me, nor for any one else, but in Jesus Christ; and I tell them that they, as well as I, when covered with a cloud, will find a hard conflict before they get out, and that a light, vain professor will lie quiet in danger, completely insensible, and have no sense of the displeasure of God.
Thousands of such professors perish with their heads full of religion. Some of them I have met with here, and they are so good, so pious, they tell me they are not afraid of death, though they know nothing of Christ experimentally. They pray, and feel moved in prayer, but none of them can clearly tell me what the Lord Jesus Christ says to their prayers. Their sole dependence is on their reading and praying, and as they say being very good. You and I know, by the mercy of God, that the first discovery by the Spirit is the sin of our nature; and such a fountain of evil is stirred up, that the sight (as Hart says) tempts us to despair; nor can we believe that this is divine life, though nothing else could discover our wretchedness. O the unbounded mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ, that he has not only discovered this to us, but has also many times applied to our wounded consciences the marvelous power and efficacy of his precious blood, so that we have been both wounded and healed.
I trust that the ten thousand wounds which sin has made, and which have as often by the mercy of God been healed, have given us a measure of watchfulness, and have left some increase of tenderness, so that the things by which we have formerly fallen are shunned with confession and prayer as bitter enemies. It is in these very things that if we watch we shall find the infinite condescension of the most Holy Spirit, helping our infirmities, teaching us to fight, and making us "more than conquerors through him that loved us". A few fresh instances of these sweet helps give courage to a soldier of Jesus Christ; we risk everything for such a Captain, assured that he will lead us on to conquest, and never leave us nor forsake us, though for our trial and humbling he may often hide himself for a season.
There are many sorts here, and I find some few true yoke-fellows. The Ranters almost overrun the country and are desperate opposers of the truth, and the Baptists and Independents seem in doctrine very little removed from them. All seem to agree to sit down in something very short of even the letter of the Word, and to be bitter enemies to the power. You and I cannot be too thankful for a faithful ministry. Here all are alike, both minister and people, and it is truly awful to hear of their errors.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 289
(To his Daughter E.) Pulverbach, May 1844.
My dear Child,
I feel much for my family, and especially for you who are in a measure enlightened to discern the truth. How many things are needful before we attain to any establishment! You will ask, What things? Many humbling and sin-subduing afflictions to lower our vain and airy imaginations. I think, at least I have hoped, that I have discovered the fear of God in your heart; yet I have seen such a want of solidity and unbrokenness of spirit as has made me to tremble. I know that you cannot grow up to manhood in Christ Jesus all at once, but I should like to see that sweet and heaven-born grace of humility to abound more in you. A broken heart is a rare thing, and I think that though there may be something of this at times, yet it gets healed too quickly; and instead of bringing forth the fruits of the Spirit, I see other fruits of lightness and something of a confidence which does not show the deepness of earth that our Lord speaks of in the parable of the sower. You are the subject of many prayers; and as I have been in many deep waters, I would seek by cautioning you to move you to watchfulness, for I have found it easier to fall into temptation than to get out; and you also know how dreadful I have found it to fall under the displeasure of God. It is your mercy and mine that none can pluck us out of the hands of the Lord; but there will be many pluckers, and your spirit does not seem aware of that. I who have been in these places want to persuade you that you also will presently be there, if you make not the Lord your especial refuge, and dread the lightness that seems so prevalent with you. You know the Lord says, "Be sober, be vigilant;" and he means what he says. A very serious attention to these things will cause you to escape many dangers; and in hopes that you will be led seriously to lay these things to heart, I remain, with many prayers,
Your affectionate father, J. B
Letter 290
(To his Daughter E.) Pulverbach, 14 May 1844.
My dear E.,
I was pleased to find that you obtained power from the Lord to receive instruction and caution. You know that I have been in many a warfare, and also many dangers. This was the cause of my fears respecting you; and real affection towards you made me doubly anxious that you might not be entangled in any snare before you were aware. Even this scripture is left us to ponder: "You know not what manner of spirit you are of." I am sure that until the Holy Spirit of God comes and convinces me of many things, I am totally unaware that they will be found in me. "The heart is deceitful above all things"; none can fathom it; but when the Spirit discovers some of its depths, the very sight turns all our gaiety and light love into corruption, and we cannot help sinking under it. It is God's design that we should, or else our religion would be without salt. We should like to brush the moon with our feathers, but the Lord chooses to lower our topsails; and it is our mercy to stoop under his mighty hand, and soberly consider that when he says, "I have chosen you in the furnace of affliction," he means what he says. Let us therefore unceasingly cry to him to be with us in the furnace, as he was with the three children in the days of Daniel.
The Lord never has any purpose of destruction in his dealings with those who fear him; but the finer the metal, the hotter must be the furnace. Lead does not require the same heat as gold; and if we would be the latter, to the glory of God and our eternal salvation, we must expect the means which he has appointed in his Word. "If you be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are you bastards, and not sons." All the means which the Lord has graciously appointed for us are for the express purpose of teaching us to die to this world, and to the world within us. This is a painful and lingering death. It disappoints all our fleshly prospects, and leaves nothing in view to our fleshly minds but death, death, death. So it really seems if Christ is beclouded but if we can attain to a sweet sense of his dying love, then we can sweetly die with him, and find that we also rise with him into a better life, even divine and spiritual. While this is enjoyed we are willing to nail our old man to the cross, and rejoice in the conquest Christ has made.
This is a life which is of no esteem in the world, but we who are in a measure partakers of it find it a reality; and it is safe from destruction, because it is "hid with Christ in God"; yet it is always to be found by us in times of great extremity, and is only hidden from our enemies, so that (as our old friend Mr. Dore says) the devil cannot get at it to destroy it.
I hope, my dear child, you will be a source of spiritual comfort to me, and that the Lord will give you a heart to receive with meekness the engrafted Word. That in all your afflictions you may find that the Lord himself is afflicted, and that the angel of his presence may encamp round about you, is the sincere and daily prayer of
Your affectionate father, James Bourne
Letter 291
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) Pulverbach, 18 May 1844.
My dear Friend,
How often have I thought, and written too, of that terrible teaching which I find in my sleepless hours at night. Dreadful as it is, I find it, through the mercy of the Lord, the safeguard of my soul. Then it is the Holy Spirit discovers my unholiness, and there seems not a word or thought that has passed in the day but the Lord lays it open before me. I know of nothing more horrid and more fallacious than to call this heavenly teaching a temptation, which I have often heard people do until their hearts have grown hard, and as dark as midnight. What a mercy it is to have power to fall under the light which makes these discoveries, and to judge ourselves, and not extenuate our guilt! O how soberly have I been led to watch a tender regard to these secret admonitions; what peace has been the consequence of due attention, and what dangers and difficulties have I escaped!
I can well remember the time when I used to think these convictions were so many tokens of false religion, showing that I was never changed in heart; but by the mercy of God I now perceive that they are among the many means by which the Lord shows his tender care and watchfulness over his own, teaching them "as dear children" not to fashion themselves after the world, or worldly professors. It has been through these severe seasons I have been taught most earnestly to pray that I may not be led into temptation, but be delivered from evil; for these secret alarming discoveries have made me consider the rise and progress of sin and bondage, that the beginning is often very small, but the end immensely great. Not fearing the small beginning, we get sorely entangled before we are aware. It is our mercy to consider that as the Lord says "he declares unto man what is his thought" (Amos 4:13), he will sorely make us know the thoughts and intents of our hearts, that they are very evil, even the mainspring of all evil.
I must acknowledge that the heavy hand of God has struck terror into my heart, but somehow it is mingled with such mercy, that I feel no desire for it to be removed. It makes me startle at every approach of evil, and fills my soul with such awe as I cannot express; it makes me seek what I cannot find, and that is to put my mouth in the dust, lower than I can describe. But what shall I say? In this place, which nobody in the world envies, I have found a Heaven upon earth, and have blessed and praised the Lord a thousand times for his righteous wisdom in leading me through the valley of humiliation with such safety and comfort. Jesus Christ is a tried Friend, "that sticks closer than a brother", and may well be said to love "at all times", yes even in the time of adversity, when all men forsake us. Therefore I can well recommend him under all the difficulties and perplexities that may overtake you. Only be honest to your convictions, and do not extenuate your guilt, nor stand out in defending yourself, which is a most dangerous thing, because there is no promise but to such as are mourning under the weight of their guilt.
How is the contrary seen in Pharaoh, when he said, "Who is the Lord, that I should obey his voice?" I answer, Look who he is when Pharaoh's chariots stick fast in the middle of the sea. We do well to stoop in time. How the Lord in mercy has led my soul in secret to pray, O Lord, show me how to humble myself under your mighty hand, and how often the Lord has softened my spirit like wax in this prayer, and all contention has ceased, and his sweet power has carried me through all my trouble.
I have always felt that sanctified troubles are never what worldly professors think them to be. O no; an afflicted soul, as Hart says of a sinner, is a sacred thing; "the Holy Spirit has made him so;" and the Savior tells us that in all our afflictions he is afflicted, and is touched with the feeling of our infirmities, in order that we may come with holy boldness to a throne of grace, and find help in all times of extremity, as I have done.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 292
(To W. B.) Pulverbach, 19 May 1844.
My dear young Friend,
I am much disposed to enter into your feelings, having been myself entangled by bondage, misery, and sin in many ways, and I believe you are brought to this that you may be taught effectually how helpless you are. We naturally have a will and a way of our own, and no prayer or inclination to give it up. The Lord suffers us to fall into many difficulties that may appear to have no reference to the particular bondage that grieves us, and it is that our universal bondage may be discovered to us, not only in one thing, but in all. This works despair of any remedy within; and it is God's design that it should. For it is a mighty work for one that is great in his own conceit to be brought down to feel himself very little. It is true, as Mr. Maddy says, that if we prosper in the least, we have such gentlemanly feelings; but the Lord will teach us effectually that all such rubbish shall be burnt up, and we shall appear before him as lost sinners, and nothing else.
The Lord has opened the eyes of your understanding to comprehend the meaning of a little encouragement from him in your distresses. You know that it is an assurance of the work begun; and though through the power of temptation you soon lose sight of it, yet you do not give up seeking for a renewal of the same; and though you say the power of temptation keeps you from seeking, yet it does not keep you from mourning, and we call that seeking; and though you are terribly alarmed at the hardness and bondage that sin brings, yet it is life that shows these dreadful effects of sin, which make the spirit sink. The hope which you find does not create bondage, but counteracts it, though it be but for a short season, and you return again to your sad place.
Bunyan writes that though Christ's love is hated in the world, yet it is not despised by the tempted and distressed; and that it is our mercy to believe that we are his love when assaulted with temptations, his love when he hides his face, and his love at all times. I would entreat you to look at Christ's love, and at his power and his willingness to save poor sinners. Search this out by prayer in his Word, and look less at your sin. The sore rankles worse and worse, the more you look at it; looking to Jesus can alone cut the bondage. Lay this to heart; I see the devil binds you down to the works of the law. The love of Christ will constrain, and gives a sweet and heavenly power which the law knows nothing of. May the Lord help you.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 293
(To Mr. and Mrs. Thaine) Pulverbach, 3 June 1844.
My dear Friends,
Our Savior says, "My soul is exceeding sorrowful even unto death; tarry you here and watch with me;" and a little afterwards: "What, could you not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation." I am amazed how little this caution is attended to, though it extends in all directions to all our occupations and proceedings in life. Hence spring all my troubles, the first of which is a listless spirit, overpowering the sense of danger; and because of the temporary quietness which it produces, we rest in outward comforts, and cover them with the name of God's blessings. How difficult it is to maintain spiritual life in the midst of temporal comforts! I have often thought of these words: "Happy is the man that fears always." For I perceive that the grace of godly fear will raise many suspicions in the mind, and not let us take every calm for the real comforting presence of God; and by secret self-examination there will be found much false comfort, which, if not honestly taken in hand, will soon show us the power of temptation, and the sore evil of not watching the beginning of declension from the right path; for I conceive that most of the professing church fall asleep in the enchanted arbor, and that many of God's people are for awhile ensnared in it.
All the Lord's dispensations towards us have in them, "Watch and pray;" but we do not readily enter into that counsel, and therefore are often entangled. The chief entanglement of temptation is to prevent that sweet fellowship and communion with Christ, which is the very life and soul of all our comforts. If that can be stopped, the enemy gains great power, as I have seen both in myself and in some of my friends. One of the first dangers that overtakes us is feeling an unprofitableness in the ministry to ourselves; if this continues, it shows that the temptation has bound us in heavy chains, because the Lord tells us that this is the golden pipe through which the holy oil is sent. I have often pondered the case of such as complain much of this evil; and yet (that I may clear the Lord when he judges) I must say I fear that the power of this temptation is not sufficiently laid to heart. When the Savior told the disciples to watch and pray, there is no season mentioned for putting off their armor, but the word "always" is added, that we may have an insight in some measure into our danger; and it is added against that specious sin of self-confidence. How the Lord opened my eyes to the danger of this in the case of one whom I visited here, and made me look well to the nature of my own confidence; for I felt assured that the confidence of that poor creature would not stand in the day of trial, it was built up of such rotten materials, namely, the praises and approbation of foolish professors who came to hear and flatter. Often have I been alarmed at Peter's words: "Though all men shall be offended because of you, yet will I never be offended;" and, "Though I should die with you, yet will I not deny you." As it respects us, this includes the whole of our backslidings in all directions.
It has pleased God to open my eyes to many things in the afflictions into which he has brought me during the last few years. By the mercy of God my soul has been filled with terror at the discovery of every fresh evil that arises, and with the Psalmist I have prayed, "Let your judgments help me." O how I fear the most distant approach of temptation, because I have felt its power! We none of us know what manner of spirit we are of. As Dr. Owen says, we are too ready to give flattering titles to our corruptions, and call them by some other name than that which really belongs to them; and thus we wreathe ourselves round, and willingly bind ourselves with many things that are too plausible for flesh and blood to find out. How often have I been secretly praying to the Lord with these entanglements about me, and have been overtaken with such a flood of reproof as nearly to sink me into despair, and in my dismay, fearfulness, and trembling, I have given up all my hope; but I have afterwards found that this was the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, who would not suffer the enemy to pluck me out of his hands, and therefore discovered the snare and the danger to which I was exposed. I have said but little respecting my dreadful feelings at these seasons, but I must repeat that these have been among the most awful moments of my life, which have turned all my foolish and pretended loveliness into sad corruption. Here I have learned to put my mouth in the dust if so be I might have hope; here I have been made to take the lowest room, and to feel myself the chief of sinners; and here also (I must acknowledge) were brought forth the best robe, the ring, and the shoes, and I was made to feast on the fatted calf. In all this there lies the mystery that vain professors cannot get at; this path "the vulture's eye has not seen," nor can "the lion's whelp" take one step therein, but the redeemed of the Lord shall walk in safety in it.
I believe, my dear friends, that the Lord has suffered these various exercises to come upon me for the comfort and edification of the poor creatures I am often led to speak to; such power and certainty do I feel in setting forth not only the dark side, but also the true light of life which has reached my heart. I was truly glad to receive both your letters, as I find it needful in this distant corner to have these communications kept up; they are as a cordial to my spirit. How glad I should be to see you both here and take you round to some of the poor people, and show you our order on the Sundays. The Lord is certainly with us.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 294
(To Mr. Harrow) Pulverbach, 4 June 1844.
My dear Friend,
Everything within and without combines to raise my fears, and I find nothing can counteract them but the especial comforting power and presence of the Lord. The more I see of the profession of the day, the more I stand in awe, and wonder at the patience and longsuffering of God towards men, and myself in particular. Every fresh discovery of my hidden corruptions makes me to stoop with amazement, and silences all murmuring and repining at the rod that is sent to correct me for my foolishness. I dare not say, "Why have you made me thus?" I can only say, "God be merciful to me a sinner." This prayer has often brought in help when none other appeared to be heard. I am sure there is a necessity for me to take the lowest room; let others do as they think fit. If, through the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, I get safe at last, I shall never have to mourn because of the many difficulties in the way which my sins have procured, but shall be wholly lost in the contemplation of that free and sovereign grace which has reached my heart.
This evening, being Wednesday, I spoke to the people from these words (Psalm 32:6): "For this shall every one that is godly pray unto you in a time when you may be found; surely in the floods of great waters they shall not come near unto him." My heart trembled at the importance of my place, as well as the message I had to deliver. I endeavored to show what it was for which everyone that possesses the true fear of God will pray, namely, the blessing which those are partakers of whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. I then endeavored to show from my own feelings what it was for the bones to wax old through roaring for disquietude of soul, and what it was for the heavy hand of God to be upon a man, and how the Lord the Spirit instructed such an one to acknowledge his sin, and in this dreadful exercise to find the forgiveness that is here spoken of. For this every one that is godly will pray; and when "the floods of great waters" overtake us, past mercies will come to our minds, and though with very little hope at first, yet they furnish us with a plea, and we find the Lord himself condescends to be our hiding place, and then comes the song of deliverance. For this, my dear friend, we are encouraged to pray unto the Lord; and they that know his precious name, "merciful and gracious", "abundant in goodness", and "forgiving iniquity, transgression and sin", will put their trust in him. I told the people that I had often been brought very low, yet even in the lowest place I always felt a determination to call upon the Lord, let what would come of it; and here I have always found my profit, and the truth of the promise, "Your heart shall live that seek God." Then I endeavored to show them the tender and kind exhortation and caution of the Lord, "I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you shall go; I will guide you with mine eye. Be you not as the horse or as the mule," confident and obstinate; but bear in mind that he who is tenderly led to receive instruction, "mercy shall compass him about" as with a shield.
I do not know when I have found such a sweet power upon my own heart when speaking. I was exceedingly comforted, and felt surely all this cannot be for nothing, and the few I overtook on the road going home seemed to have received it with much awe and godly fear. Afterwards, while thinking of what I had said, and of the spirit in which the things were spoken, the Lord came into my soul with such a heavenly calm as I do not often feel, and a sweet peace that passes all understanding; and therefore I could not help telling you all about it. I perceive that the people grow much more serious, and cannot make light of the Word; those who come to judge find that it comes so close upon them that they cannot face it; and those who seemed to halt between two opinions begin to acknowledge there is a something which the general professors know nothing about. A few, by the mercy of God, fall under the Word, and are encouraged to hope, while others are much comforted and instructed. Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 295
(To C. G.) Pulverbach, 18 June 1844.
My dear Friend,
The Lord dwells in the thick darkness to bring down the lofty imaginations of the foolish; but that Babel is not so quickly brought down as light and trifling professors imagine. You can scarcely meet a young person now that is not in a giggling profession of religion. They go about with their pockets full of scriptures to give to others they meet that are just like themselves, and talk about this or that great preacher, and the glorious spread of religion, and the marvelous accounts from abroad. But a broken heart, an afflicted conscience, or a feeling of the desperate narrowness of the way, is never spoken or thought of; and such as are troubled with those things are not worthy to be admitted into their devout societies.
O how have I been tried, cast, and condemned by such as these. Once I thought my heart would break on account of this treatment; and often said at the beginning of my soul-trouble, What, shall I never more be received? Must I be shut out for ever? But when the Lord began to immerse me in the furnace of affliction, I then found some other employment than mourning over my departed friends. In searching and hearing the Word I perceived the Lord chose his people in the furnace of affliction; I also found that the smooth path was a slippery one, and began to see it would be most awful to be left in an empty profession that did not bring its possessor out of the spirit of the world, and only flattered the soul into a vain belief that all was right. I saw many entangled there who were never brought out, but perished in the snare. This in a measure reconciled me to the cross, and made me to dwell alone, and feel the necessity of begging for "the Spirit of grace and supplications"; and that gift has always been attended with a measure of light which has shown me that those whose "strength is firm" are in a dangerous place; that pride and false confidence compass such about as a chain, and that they speak loftily; but that "it is good for me to draw near unto God (Psalm 73).
This has often been a sort of hidden help to me before I have come clean out of my troubles; and for that reason I would recommend to others to cry unceasingly to the Lord under all circumstances whatever, as I do myself. It is sure not to be in vain. The various evils of pride, obstinacy, rebellion, and temper would have carried me away if the Lord had not plunged me into repeated furnaces, and by them humbled me in the dust, and so overpowered me that I could scarcely so much as look up, but only smite upon my breast and say, "God be merciful to me a sinner."
These have been some of the exercises that have led me to be in earnest to be healed in the right way, and have made me to forget my father's house; and these also are some of the things that bring a caution not to claim anything beyond what the Lord has in his sovereign mercy freely bestowed. I have long labored under the weight of various crosses, and must labor under some as long as I live. I find them crosses indeed, and very galling and humbling to my proud heart; but when I enter into the sanctuary I then understand that they are to cause me to die to this world and its vanities, and to seek more spiritual life in Christ. Had I no weight I should not so earnestly seek for fellowship with the Lord; nor should I know what the apostle writes to the Ephesians, that through Christ "we have access by one Spirit unto the Father". There is no way to this but through fire and water, and having the whole false foundation thoroughly removed. O how awful do I see the profession of the day, and how evident it is that there is no life nor virtue in it! Let our difficulties be what they may, we had better pray that our wounds may be probed to the bottom, rather than falsely healed. Our great mistake is always in looking for some temporal rest, when the Lord intends nothing but a spiritual rest; and this often raises a quarrel in our minds, and we are sure to suffer; but if we are enabled to fall flat before him, and are made honest in seeking for a better rest, then the quarrel ceases, the Lord draws near, and we perceive that in him we have peace, though in the world and all created things we find nothing but tribulation.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 296
(To Mr. T. S.) Pulverbach, 19 June 1844.
My dear Friend,
I think I am made to understand in some small measure what the Savior meant when he said to those two disciples, "You shall indeed drink of my cup;" for after the sweetest acknowledgments from the Lord of his tender favor and care, I have very quickly been surprised with a most awful view of the sin of my nature, so that I have been made to offer up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto him that was able to save me from death. It will never be in my power to describe the dreadful feelings of these times; not a secret thought, however plausibly covered, but is then fairly laid open with its true meaning and intent; and in God's light, how deep the hypocrisy of the heart is found! No quibbles will stand there. O how this excites me to cry, and how I can enter into the prayer of the publican, of the jailor, and of Peter on the sea! What a keen and watchful eye has been given to see what the Lord will say or do, and whether I can find any ground to hope! Willingly have I put sackcloth upon my loins and ropes upon my head, with a "perhaps he will save your life" (1 Kings 20:31); and if such words as these have come from him: "A brother is born for adversity," then I have taken some courage and wept out my sorrows and fears. O how I have looked at those words of the Lord Jesus Christ: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
"If such a weight, to every soul,
Of sin and sorrow fall,
What love was that which took the whole,
And freely bore it all!"O what a deadly blow these discoveries give to a legal spirit! How beautiful they make the free and sovereign grace of God, Father, Son, and Spirit! I sometimes say, Is this real? Will it stand the hour of trial? and then the enemy whispers, No, to be sure it will not; you will be as badly off as ever presently, and worse than ever in the hour of death. Here I perceive the dreadful conflict. I dare not give up, but every fresh fear and threatening of danger, I carry to the Lord; nor can I rest with merely praying, but, like Jacob, I cannot let the Lord go until he is pleased to decide the point; and surely he has never failed me, but has always sooner or later assured me that his promise shall be fulfilled in me, "Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world."
This was the case while I was dressing this morning. Full of fears and doubts whether all was quite right, I was confessing and deploring my sin, and without any particular words, the Lord came and melted my heart with a sweet sense of his favor and care; not only to comfort my own heart, but also to give me courage, and an insight into his Word for the poor hungering people here, whom he will not send empty away.
The Lord can come and go at his pleasure, but he is pleased not so to deal with us. Before he comes we are suffered to fall into terrible places, to learn our weakness and utter dependence upon him; and then, when he comes, his visit is highly prized. So also he never goes but it is at a season when our hearts, like the eyes of a fool, are at the ends of the earth; and this makes us the more to hate our folly, and to learn with shame to entreat him to return again. The Lord makes these changes a means of teaching us many humbling lessons with which a smoother path is unacquainted. Bishop Cowper wisely remarks, "Let us be warned in the least threatening of spiritual desertion to lay hold of the Lord by prayer, lest for fault of seeking we close up the Lord's hands, which are full of blessings ready to be bestowed upon us." Thus when we pass through the waters, the Lord is with us, though we cannot fully discern him; for though greatly alarmed, spiritual life is maintained, and many of the sweet graces of the Spirit appear; if not joy, yet meekness, patience, longsuffering, watchfulness, and sobriety of mind.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 297
(To C. Bawley) Pulverbach , 3 July 1844.
My dear Friend,
I truly rejoice with you in those sweet communications of the love of Christ to your soul which you have received, as I can well testify that his banner over us is indeed love, although there have been times without number when I have thought it otherwise. I do not wonder at your continual crying to Jesus, for it is the Spirit himself that helps our infirmities "with groanings that cannot be uttered", so that our burdened spirit vents itself in that sweet word Jesus, because he alone saves his people from their sins.
Remember, my dear friend, you have twice been told, "Gird your loins up, Christian soldier." Surely this was not to alarm you, but to put you upon your guard. Our loins, in Scripture, denote our weakness; and the counsel you have received to gird them up is to show your great need of that strength which is not naturally in us. The apostle tells us to beware lest we get entangled with the affairs of this life, and to endure hardness as good soldiers of Jesus Christ, that we may please him who has chosen us to be soldiers, and not ourselves. What is so painful in these fights is the continual fightings against ourselves and the great body of sin within. While love rules in the heart (as it did in yours when Jesus appeared) there is no difficulty in fighting against the evil within and without; but when this subsides, then to keep the field of battle, not knowing which way the bloody conflict will end, makes our fears run high, until the lovely banner of this sweet Jesus again appears in sight. This strengthens us for the onset, and we find at last we are "more than conquerors through him that loved us".
If it were not for these sharp conflicts we should soon think ourselves brave fighting men; but our Captain will teach us to know something of our own weakness, and that if he leave us but a moment we should only be runaway soldiers. He will have no independent soldiers in his army; all shall be poor, weak, lame, halt, blind, to confound the wisdom of the world. But call to mind that if we are brought to suffer with Jesus, we shall also reign with him. The Christian conflict is called a wrestling, which you know is a trial of strength; and when we consider what the apostle says we wrestle against, it is truly alarming, unless our Jesus be near at hand, and be himself our shield, and our exceeding great reward (Genesis 15:1).
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 298
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) Pulverbach, July 1844.
My dear Friend,
How difficult it is to find courage to speak the truth, and yet to let our moderation be known unto all men! If it were not for the humbling and softening visits of the Lord I should never find out where to make a stand. I am very much exercised with the exceeding great ignorance of the people here. Some who are best informed have the least heart-work; and some whose words are smoother than oil have war brewing in their hearts. I see others with two faces, one as if set Zionwards, and another seeking favor with all parties for gain. I am much in earnest to see how far spiritual life is maintained in my own soul, and how often the sweet returning favor of God is enjoyed. Insofar only as I find this, can I be persuaded that the Lord is at work among us somewhere, and that his hidden ones will one day come to light. Often sorely harassed with fears, greatly cast down, lest I should be found to walk in pride, I am led to watch my secret thoughts; and if there be a willing assuming of anything to myself, I immediately fear the hand of God will be upon that. The Lord has put a godly jealousy upon my heart, from the long dread I have lain under. My various difficulties and trials have left an alarm upon my spirit which I do not wish to erase, for it often makes me keenly alive to danger, where formerly I never expected any. Pride, conceit, lightness, or vanity of any sort I know full well will be visited with the rod of God, and in a way most cutting to the flesh. Every fresh discovery by the Spirit of God brings to light my ignorance of the hidden deceit of my heart, and opens a fresh fountain of iniquity. O the sinking sight! Can ever God dwell here? I only find that he really does, by the humbling effect, the mourning and godly sorrow that follows, and the divine and spiritual caution that it leaves upon the heart, and the many secret blushes before God, because of my ignorance of what is really at work in that old man within.
O that men were wise, to consider these things and understand them! For it is said, "The Lord shall judge his people, and repent himself for his servants, when he sees that their power is gone, and there is none shut up or left" (Deuteronomy 32:36). So it always is with the poor trembling sinner that falls under the rod; but there is another word for those that are hardened under any discovery of sin: "If I whet my glittering sword, and my hand take hold on judgment, I will render vengeance to mine enemies, and will reward them that hate me." They who have feared this latter judgment, and felt the danger of its lighting upon them, know what it is to have the wrath of God in a broken law brought home into their consciences. It is this that drinks up the spirit, and leaves a covering of sackcloth upon all created things, which nothing can remove but the almighty power of the Lord Jesus Christ, assuring the poor soul of the Father being well pleased and satisfied with the ransom which his eternal Son has paid, and which the Spirit now applies. How few I find here that know the divine power of these things! How many go on heedlessly in their profession, thinking that God is altogether such an one as themselves! Oh! how the wretched end of these is smothered up, and they are laid in the grave, and a lying stone is put upon them to harden those who are hastening on their way to the same awful destruction!
If you manifest but the least spark of the true fear of God, you shall be hated and marked as deservedly an outcast, whom none need regard, and for whom no respect or value shall be shown. It is easy to say we do not care for this, but if we belong to God, he will take care that these things shall occur at a time and under circumstances that shall make us both to feel and to care; for it is his design to humble us by such things, and to lower our assumption of being something. He will knock on the head our mighty importance, and though he chooses Moses to lead the people to the promised land, yet if Moses exceed his mission the Lord will show that he can take the people there without his help. Indeed he will make us all to feel that in reality we are nothing; and woe be to the man that will break through that order, and seek to establish himself as somebody. This has been the ruin of thousands of both preachers and private professors. O may the Lord preserve us and make us willing to give him all honor, glory, and praise forever and ever!
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 299
(To S. M. B.) Pulverbach, August 1844.
My dear S.,
I was very glad indeed to receive your letter, and much more so to see the conflict of your mind and your attention to the Word of the Lord. I sincerely recommend you to hold fast any hope you may attain by the Word of the Lord. The enemy will never rest until he upsets it, but be sure to hold it as long as you can; for you will always have this for your comfort, that though cheated for a time out of anything the Lord has given you, even so as to conclude it never came from him, yet every fresh visit from him is sure to revive the old ones, however suspected, and to throw a sweet light on the way in which he has led you and kept you, even when driven and tossed by the enemy into the utmost confusion. The secret power of the Spirit will preserve a corner in our hearts in the deepest of troubles and darkness, and even in the worst of times there will be a hankering after the Lord. This I believe is the fire which was never to go out in the temple; for the spark of spiritual life, however low, will not be let to go out. Were it not for this divine spark, in times of desertion I think I should utterly despair. It has pleased God through repeated changes to discover to us many things which before, lay hid; and these, together with our despairing feelings and fears, add energy to our prayers, and make us feel more keenly our need of the Savior, and the value of his marvelous and unspeakable redemption.
What you say of your impatient spirit is the true effect of spiritual bondage, and if you were not sorely exercised with this I should fear that sin would entirely reign. The bondage is brought on by your feeling a desire to repent, and yet finding no real power; in which you put the effect before the cause. You want to repent, and then come to Christ. This is a place where thousands are held; but the Lord says, "Come unto me, all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." I always feel betrayed (to my shame) to endeavor to mend myself, before I get courage to come to the Lord; but finding this way guarded with a flaming sword which turns every way, so that no life can be found in it, I am compelled to come to Jesus, who alone saves his people from their sins. And then I am not discouraged from prayer, but surprised at the condescension of the Lord in opening to me this new and living way. Indeed I continually feel that the Lord is "the strength of my life", for I am perfect weakness; and in all sickness and pain and disappointment and fears and dismay, this strength bears me up, and often makes me more than conqueror.
It is this strength which carries me through all my labors here, and teaches me to sit down quietly under good report and evil report; to be often accounted a deceiver, yet bearing the testimony in my conscience that I am true in Christ.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 300
(To Mrs. T.) Pulverbach, 29 August 1844.
Dear Cousin,
"Our rejoicing is this, the testimony of our conscience, that in simplicity and godly sincerity, not with fleshly wisdom, but by the grace of God, we have had our conversation in the world, and more abundantly to you-ward" (2 Corinthians 1:12).
Seldom a day passes but the enemy has a snare ready by which we are more or less entrapped; and I think that much of the trouble we fall into is in consequence of not attending to the above words. It would seem that men, both good and bad, dare not give credit for anyone walking in that simplicity and godly sincerity in which the apostle testifies that he, by the grace of God, had his conversation; but are more ready to put an evil construction upon words that fairly state the intention, and to believe (without foundation) that something much further than what is expressed is intended. Hence come bitter envyings and strife among such as ought to manifest the true fear of God. Where transparency and godly sincerity should be seen, there is nothing but suspicion and a bar. One keeps his eye upon another, for the purpose of forming a fleshly judgment; and the root of bitterness grows, and defiles many. Somebody says, How strange that he should utter such things! He must mean so and so. The hearer replies, O how wrong it is! I am surprised that one who is in reputation for so much godliness can walk in such a spirit. Another adds, All that I hear puts a proper caution upon my spirit, and I hope to be on my guard, and take care when I meet him not to be entangled by him. I will neither speak nor write to him, and then I hope I may escape. And perhaps the same person, so prejudiced, notwithstanding all his caution, happens to fall into the company of this dangerous character, and is surprised to find that he has a broken heart, and has been deeply humbled under the mighty hand of God, and made so tender that he never considered how it might be with others, but felt too much ashamed of himself to look up, and could but just cry in a low tone of voice, "God be merciful to me a sinner!" Then says the now unprejudiced hearer, O how his words enter my heart! How his sorrowful complaints move my pity! How my own spirit is revived by the manner in which he describes the hope he now and then finds, and what liberty I find in conversing with him! And so he acknowledges that the poor creature sets forth in practice the apostle's words, "that in simplicity and godly sincerity, not in fleshly wisdom, but by the grace of God," he had his conversation in the world, and more abundantly toward the people of God.
The greatest caution is necessary to be tender toward those in whom this simplicity is found, that nothing more nor less be said than what their words will bear, and no hasty conclusions be drawn that ten thousand other things are intended, though the poor creature is evidently walking in the fear of God. Let us seek to confirm the feeble knees, and not add to their weakness by needless blows.
If we are in earnest to attain to the godly simplicity which the apostle speaks of, we must look for many a blow, from sinner and from saint. It is no small thing to give up all for Christ; it is easy in speculation, but not in practice. I have found it hard work to suffer reproach, especially from the people of God. But God knew what was needful, and by these cutting dispensations taught me to read men, and showed me that my testimony must come from him, and not from man. Godly simplicity is truly brought into the heart when such things as these are from the bottom of the heart felt as needful, and acknowledged to be directed by the hand of an all-wise Sovereign, who never makes any mistake, nor ever acts unjustly. It is hard to bear the reproach, "He is not clean; surely he is not clean" (1 Samuel 20:26), a random judgment of man, suffered of God for the humbling of the proud sinner; but the only way to be brought really and thoroughly to understand godly simplicity is by being continually humbled and made truly to feel that "we are all as an unclean thing" in the sight of God, and that if spared, it is of sovereign mercy alone. This puts a caution upon our spirits, and makes us watchful that deceit should not reign, and honestly tender towards others, not from flattery, but from a feeling sense of what trouble is, and how wretchedly low we ourselves have been brought by double-dealing.
You and I have often been in these dreadful places, and surely ought to make it manifest that we have not suffered so many things in vain. Whatever we perceive in ourselves to be a stumbling-block to others ought to be by much prayer set aside. "What manner of persons ought you to be in all holy conversation and godliness" that it may be seen that the true fear of God moves us; and though (as I have said) wrong constructions will, through the desperate rage of the devil, be continually put upon all we say or do, yet the Lord has promised (and will do it) that he will bring to light that simplicity and godly sincerity that he has planted in our hearts, and will testify that it is indeed the fruit of the Spirit in us. Remember what Paul says of godly sorrow, "What carefulness it wrought in you; yes, what clearing of yourselves!" This surely ought to be the effect of sanctified afflictions, and woe to us if it be not in some measure found in us; so that when it is said, "An evil disease cleaves fast unto him, and now that he lies, he shall rise up no more," we may not listen to that, but rather listen to what the Lord will say, and follow him.
The only way to seek unity with the church of God is to acknowledge that the Lord's hand directs every blow, the feeling of which will teach us to humble ourselves, and not to judge one another. To a soul thus humbled there is nothing so distressing as to find a bar where the sweetest unity should exist; and I know of nothing so likely to keep out that bitter root of prejudice and enmity, as walking in godly simplicity, which will effectually teach us in honor to prefer one another.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 301
Pulverbach, 30 August 1844.
Dear Mrs. H.,
I am not at all surprised to hear that all the encouragement you find is disputed. True encouragement is only the beginning of troubles. I never heard that hypocrites were troubled by the enemy, but greatly comforted and encouraged to believe a lie, and to hold it as long as the Lord permits, which is sometimes all their lives, and their eyes are not opened until it is too late. God says that these see vanity, but shall not come into the secret of the righteous, nor shall their names be found in the Lamb's book of life (Ezekiel 13:9). Neither are those who see vanity troubled with fears of coming short. All searchings of heart are called by them temptations and foolishness that ought not to be listened to. They say they are drawn by love, and find nothing in their Christ but love. But their Christ is not the Christ of God.
Such as have the true Christ are "plagued all the day long, and chastened every morning", like David, and are continually ashamed of themselves. These also, like you, through the power of temptation and ignorance, limit the Holy One of Israel, and question the truth of his Word, which says that he saves to the uttermost. The grand adversary of souls presses them closely to look at those sins which they conceive to be very great, greater than all the rest; but he does not show them that they were born in sin and shaped in iniquity, and that the sin of their nature is that which God will judge, as well as the sin of their practice. He drives them to look at the number and magnitude of their sins, and at the curse of God in a broken law, instead of looking at the Lord Jesus Christ, the eternal Son of God, in whom is vested all power in Heaven and earth, and who has the keys of death and of Hell. The devil would hide all this from you, and would have you believe that salvation, with all things needful to bring it about, is in your own power. He knows that while he can hold you here, your eyes will be closed to the true way; and if he were permitted to keep his hold, it would end in final despair.
You will now make manifest what your seeking has been; not by being made happy all at once, and finding ease and contentment, resignation, and all good things, but by the Spirit discovering to you many things which you never suspected, which will fill you with worse fears than ever, because the Spirit conveys life and sensibility with his convictions. These bring the sinner on his face to the ground, like Daniel, and on his knees in great dismay, and make him really in earnest. His fleshly confidence is lowered, so that he does not seek to produce the fruits of the Spirit before he is engrafted into the Living Vine; but his cry is, "Lord, that I may receive my sight;" Lord, show me that you are mine; remove these fears and this load of guilt, and give me to know that I am your adopted child; teach me to know the sealing of the Spirit, that I may have the earnest of the future inheritance. All these applied to the heart will produce fruit to the glory of God, which shall be seen in a lowly walk.
I am not at all surprised to hear of the withdrawing of friends. I believe it is to teach you that no man directs the providence of God. I have been made to believe this long, and have learned that my dependence must be upon him who feeds the raven, and will direct the widow what to do. Impossibilities (as they appear to men) are no hindrance to his bountiful hand. He who made the earth, and created man upon it, says, "O Israel, you shall not be forgotten of me." Our hasty desires are never satisfied, and when we expect there will be abundance of all things, then the way the Lord takes to show us he has not forgotten us is to send us affliction instead of plenty. The Lord is infinitely wise, and knows best what we need, and what will be most conducive to his glory and to our happiness. I have never seen so much of his kind and tender care, as in these dreadfully dark dispensations. By his grace I have been enabled to stoop very low, and in that state I have seen things unspeakable.
You will ask, What are these? But who can describe the love of Christ, or set forth its height and depth, its length and breadth, as shown to his afflicted people in these low places? How truly have I felt that in all my afflictions he was afflicted, and that he was touched with the feeling of my infirmities, which makes a broken heart to be greater riches and a more precious treasure than all created things put together. So I say to you, "Fear not, his merits must prevail", not your prayers. Look not at the things that are seen; they bring nothing but mistrust of God, and greatly dishonor him. Look at the eternal power of God, who can do all things, and will; and be assured he will never forsake them that seek him with their whole heart. "If Heaven above can be measured, and the foundations of the earth searched out beneath, I will also cast off all the seed of Israel for all that they have done, says the Lord" (Jeremiah 31:37).
O how I feel, as a father, the dreadful consequences of parents bringing up their children to Moloch. What excuses and reasonings we have about the needfulness of sending them into the world for their well-doing and well-being, and how strongly I have been accused for putting a check upon visiting where there is no fear of God! Hence comes a part of the reproach; a good name, as a good friend, a good parent, a good neighbor, all goes, where the true fear of God is tenderly held. But O how loudly it has been proclaimed in my ears, "Come out from among them, and be you separate, says the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, and will be a Father unto you, and you shall be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty" (2 Corinthians 6:17, 18).
Spiritual obedience and godly simplicity, being true graces of the Spirit, will both guide us and carry us safely through all these dark places, and will be a light to us, and bring peace with the Lord in the end, though there be nothing but war without. If we be enabled to watch the secret teaching of the Lord, he will give us such wisdom, judgment, and discretion as it shall never be in the power of man rightfully to condemn; and I am sure of this: "Them that honor me I will honor, and they that despise me shall be lightly esteemed."
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 302
(To the Rev. C. Jeffreys) Pulverbach, 1 September 1844.
My dear Friend,
I never had a more arduous task than to describe a false faith. It is scarcely possible to pursue it in all its windings and turnings and deceitful ways. In none does it show itself more than in those "foolish prophets, that follow their own spirits, and have seen nothing". They are compared to "the foxes in the deserts". Cunning in evading the real truth, superficial in avoiding heart-work, and not entering into anything beyond the outside appearance, "they have not gone up into the gaps, neither made up the hedge for the house of Israel to stand in the battle in the day of the Lord." It is true they see something, and such as fear God hope sometimes that it will prove the right thing; but disappointing are the hopes entertained, for what they have seen is "vanity", and they make others to see the same; and so they and their followers are swallowed up in delusion and error. The Lord says of such as hold this false faith, that "they shall not be in the assembly of his people, neither shall they be written in the writing of the house of Israel"; they shall not come into the secret of the righteous, nor shall their names be found in the Lamb's book of life (Ezekiel 13:3-9).
False faith is further discovered by the spirit of the world in them that possess it. They can believe anything; trust God for everything, are seldom troubled with doubts and fears; no company brings them into bondage, however vain or trifling, and many hours of giggling lightness never disturb them, but all sweetness returns when they feel disposed to return; and there will be such a sweet sentimental softness upon the heart as will melt the possessor of this false faith, and assure him that it is a holy and heavenly thing. All this while the daily cross is not taken up, nor the world that is in the heart parted with. There is another true token of false faith under all this softness, which is a sly, insinuating, bitter enmity against the true faith; pride and prejudice working more especially against that than against any other thing, and yet with much pretended love, in opposition to a narrow spirit. In these days of gospel light, men can form a modern language, more refined than that of the Scriptures, to suit the taste of people in genteel life; but they are not aware that whoever attempts to alter the true language of Canaan, shall in the end, like the builders of Babel, be utterly confounded. False faith will quibble any plain scripture to suit its base purpose, by which means it retains a confidence in the midst of approaching destruction. It separates itself from the true people of God, and finds an easier way than the path of tribulation; it feels the want of what is called good society, and so it is unawares ensnared, and held in the company of hypocrites of all sorts, and manifestly misses the strait gate; yet it shows such universal charity as to be able to see the work of grace in the heart of the most ignorant worldly-minded person. True faith, the Scripture says, "is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen;" and it
"Takes the whole gospel, not a part,
And holds the fear of God."It trembles at God's judgments, especially on hearing, "Cursed is every one that continues not in all things that are written in the book of the law to do them." True faith is a convincing proof of that truth; and though many subterfuges will be offered, yet will true faith still believe it, tremble at it, and fall under it; and will be taught to cry, "God be merciful to me a sinner;" and will not so hastily say, "My Lord and my God." True faith will discover the beauty and suitableness of the dying love of Jesus; but at the same time it will see and feel the dreadful evil of sin, and the mountain of difficulty between the sinner and the Savior; and it is not able all at once to say, "Who are you, O great mountain? Before Zerubbabel you shall become a plain." True faith chooses rather "to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season", or of a deceitful religious life full of flattery; it esteems the reproach of Christ greater riches than the foolish lightness of an empty profession. True faith forsakes Egypt, that is the world and its vanities, and especially the empty religion of the day, "having respect unto the recompense of the reward". In this faith, seeing we are compassed about with many witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sins of enmity, pride, and prejudice which so easily beset us, and let us run the heavenly race, not with an earthly mind, but with a heaven-born patience; looking, not to each other for a testimony of our being right, but "unto Jesus the Author and Finisher of our faith". He endured the cross and despised the shame; but men in these days shun the cross, and carry their decided piety to all sorts of company, and thus get rid of the shame. The apostles tell us these are not possessors of true faith, but bastards, pretenders, false professors, wells without water, that talk of the word faith, and yet neither know what they say nor whereof they affirm. True faith is very transparent, and will make straight paths for its feet, "lest that which is lame be turned out of the way", instead of being healed. True faith will seek to obtain grace to worship God, Father, Son and Spirit "acceptably, with reverence and godly fear", knowing that our "God is a consuming fire" (Hebrews 11 and 12).
"Faith, implanted from above,
Will prove a fertile root,
Whence will spring a tree of love,
Producing precious fruit."Thus I have endeavored, under a great feeling of my incapacity and weakness, to give my mind respecting false faith and true faith, at your friend's desire.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 303
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) Pulverbach, September 1844.
My dear Friend,
I was exceedingly glad to see your letters, and I am sure if you were not exercised sharply in your mind in many ways, your ministry would be very ineffectual. I make no doubt you, as well as myself, are often ready to hope that you shall have a little cessation of arms; and that as the last trial has worked so kindly there is no need for another: "Surely the bitterness of death is past." Alas! you and I must know to the end what it is for the Amalek within us to be "hewed in pieces before the Lord" (1 Samuel 15:32, 33). Once cutting down will not do. The bullock unaccustomed to the yoke must needs have many a blow to break him in. I am continually exercised with one grief or another; and I can plainly see it is to show me what a guilty wretch I am before God, and how cool my heart is to take up any cross that he lays before me.
We do not naturally suspect the pride and stubbornness of our hearts, until a suitable circumstance is placed before us; and then I who thought myself so meek and gentle, so tender and kind, have such bitterness discovered within, as tempts me to despair, and causes many sleepless hours. O how uncontrollable is the spirit of man! and where a little authority is given, what amazing forwardness he shows to extend the narrow limits that God has fixed! There is one rule for us all: "Not as being lords over God's heritage, but being examples to the flock," examples of humility, not of natural humility, but of that beautiful grace which springs up when the Spirit discovers the wretchedness of our polluted hearts, and we mourn and cry at the feeling and sight, so as to move the compassion of the Lord Jesus Christ, and he comes with the sweet power of his pardoning love into the heart. This softens our spirits, puts us and keeps us in our right place; and the power and efficacy of this heaven-born grace shows itself in the whole course of our lives, whether we are teachers or hearers. O how silent under the cross does this sweet grace make us! with what keenness and clearness of perception we see and acknowledge the righteous judgments of God, and with what holy awe we entreat for some fresh tastes and displays of this sweet mercy every day!
It is only by burdensome crosses that the Lord maintains spiritual life in the soul. How I have watched this in myself and others; when things have gone on smoothly, and there seems but little war carried on, O what lightness of spirit, what presumption, what foolish confidence, what little grieving for the affliction of Joseph! I have known some to call this settled peace, but the Lord has spared my life to see it to be settled death; and if left in such a place, I am sure we should be very unprofitable to the afflicted people of God, and not be able to reprove or to exhort.
We that are called to this office ought to make it manifest that we are not entangled with anything beyond what the Lord has set us to do; for the charge is very serious: "I charge you before God and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead, Preach the word," not ourselves, nor our word; for we find many itching tongues, as well as itching ears, that disfigure the truth, and set forth a part and not the whole, and turn to fables, of which sort I find many here. But let us watch in all things, endure affliction and contradiction, and make full proof of our ministry. For we may rest assured that there will be found Demases and Alexanders in every place, who withstand nothing but the truth. It is a heavy trial to see all men forsake us. I have been left in my house desolate, none choosing to call upon me, and I not finding a door that I dare enter. It is well for us that we are called to endure hardness; the caution is given that we may not be surprised when it overtakes us, as it most assuredly will. The dearest and most affectionate friends I have been called to separate from and to be deserted of the people of God as well; but how have I been made to feel the use of all this, to humble my proud heart, and to encourage a few that may have suffered the like. But as you say, "keeping mercy for thousands," and for me as one of those thousands, has made me to wonder more than I can express (2 Timothy 4:1-5, 10, 14-16).
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 304
(To M. M. A. G.) Pulverbach, 17 September 1844.
My dear Friend,
Our Sunday morning's subject was Ezekiel 1:28, "And when I saw it, I fell upon my face." I was very desirous of showing the people that every discovery of our sin by the Spirit would have this effect. In the Book of Revelation the description of the Savior is very terrible to a guilty conscience. His eyes as a flame of fire bring forth many things which we intended should be for ever hidden; and the sharp two-edged sword out of his mouth cuts deep, so that we, as well as John, fall at his feet as dead, if it thoroughly enter the conscience. In this way he turns man to destruction; but it is said, "I kill, and I make alive; I wound, and I heal." The right hand of his power is laid upon us in mercy, and he pronounces, "Fear not;" which brings us up (like David) from the horrible pit, and miry clay, sets us upon the Rock of Ages, and establishes our going. When Isaiah saw the Lord in majesty, and heard the seraphim cry, "Holy, holy, holy," it turned all his loveliness into corruption. While speaking upon this, I had a most fearful discovery of my wretched, sinful, unprofitable, and vain life, and with the prophet was made feelingly to say, "Woe is me, for I am undone;" nor could I gain any comfortable hope until the live coal from off Christ the true Altar touched my lips and heart, and then I rejoiced afresh, and was greatly encouraged to proceed. Daniel also was brought down with his face to the ground, nor could he be lifted up but by the angel touching him and informing his heart and conscience that he was greatly beloved. Paul, too, on his way to Damascus, was brought low by the sight of the blessed adorable Savior, nor could he be raised up until the Lord spoke with encouragement and instruction to him; and so now with us all. Every discovery of our sin brings us lower; therefore is the Word of God called the sword of the Spirit; it cuts off all hope of mercy or help but in Christ, and it is not always at once that the Savior comes to pour in the oil and the wine, to raise our sinking spirits; for there is much to be pulled down, and much rubbish to be removed, before the Lord finds a place in our hearts to abide in. Habakkuk also says, "O Lord, I have heard your speech, and was afraid." You did march through this heathen heart of mine, discovering the foundation to the neck. "When I heard, my belly trembled; my lips quivered at the voice; rottenness entered into my bones; and I trembled in myself, that I might rest in the day of trouble," even in Christ the promised rest for troubled souls. So it is with me even to the present day, always fearing, always crying, and almost always ready to give up, and then the Lord comes and shows me how near he is, and how precious I am in his sight. This encourages me to speak boldly to the afflicted, and to assure them that in seeking they shall find.
In the evening I still continued in Ezekiel, but it was from ch. 17:24:What was said upon drying up the green tree and making the dry tree to flourish seemed to suit many. The green tree I thought was a fair profession without the root of the matter, which I set forth in many ways; the dry tree is much like the low tree. The Lord delights in magnifying the riches of his grace in choosing such worthless objects to make unto himself a vessel to honor; or I am sure I should not be among the number of his chosen.
We had more than ever to hear, and I hope and trust the Lord does speak upon the hearts of some of them.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 305
(To Mr. Harrow) Pulverbach, October 1844.
Dear Friend,
The enemy is making a desperate attempt to subvert us in the most artful way possible. The Lord has been lately much among the flock, instructing and comforting many of them, but our crafty adversary has stirred up some rotten sheep to hear "another gospel", and their cry is, It is all the same; we are all one. Thus grievous wolves are suffered to enter, and seek to join with us, but not in heart; for they are desperately offended and will hear no reproof. These things have led me to much prayer and much thoughtfulness, and while alone yesterday morning, being Wednesday, the Lord drew near, and gave me great softness of spirit and great calmness, and deeply impressed my mind with awe and a sweet sense of his supporting power, and that he would give me wisdom and words to meet the people in the evening, for I had many things to enter into.
My subject was from Rev. 22:17, "The Spirit and the Bride say, Come." My first prayer was for the Lord's especial help, that he would plead our cause, that he would go forth as a mighty man and draw out the spear and stop the way against them that persecute us, that they might be ashamed and turned back that desire our hurt, and that the false witnesses that rise up may not be able to prove that it is all the same. Let the Lord be magnified that has pleasure in the prosperity of his servants; and let them rejoice that favor his righteous cause. O Lord, the sons of Eliab declare that we take too much upon ourselves, for, say they, We are as holy as you, and as fit to teach; and when they are called to order they rebel at reproof, and are quite sure their way is right; do you be pleased to show who is on your side, and whom you chose and causes to approach unto you. Be pleased to show them that it is hard to kick against the pricks. O Lord, they complain that we have brought them from the land that flows with milk and honey, and have left them in the wilderness. You know what has been set before them, the utter impossibility of attaining to or maintaining the life of Christ in the soul without the daily cross and self-denial. O Lord, protect your tender ones that are full of fears, and cleave close to you, that they may be preserved in the day of battle.
I then with the sweet help of the Lord began my discourse, and endeavored, after some preface, to show the word of the Lord, beginning at the 10th verse, "Seal not the sayings of the prophecy of this book;" the tidings are terrible; if the Lord be on our side we shall know it by our spiritual obedience to his Word. The Spirit is set forth as a reprover; and if we find grace to fall under the Word, we are told that the way of life is in it; but if we think we know better, and seek to establish ourselves in anything contrary to the unity of the church of God, this sentence will reach us, "He who is unjust, let him be unjust still; and he who is filthy, let him be filthy still;" and how will such an one meet the Savior in the day of judgment? The evil begins with conceit and pride of heart, saying, We know as well as you; then they are offended, and increase their offence by going about to spread the venom; then they quickly separate, "sensual, not having the Spirit" (Jude 19). Thus the sifting time comes on before you are aware, and you strong ones make it manifest you are nothing but chaff. All this comes of not bearing to be taught. But others can tell of the great comfort they find in hearing these truths, the Spirit being a constant reprover, and at the same time leading them to the fountain opened. Thus they see their danger, and by the mercy of the Lord Jesus are healed.
It is added, "Behold, I come quickly, to give to every man according as his work shall be;" and again, "Blessed are they that do his commandments;" but how few render this spiritual obedience! Many say, but few do. I have known some who have been immersed in some family troubles for seven years, and are yet entangled in them, without the least increase of spiritual understanding or any sweet token of their profiting by them, and all for want of spiritual obedience to God's Word. A will of their own and a way of their own completely binds them, and separates them from showing forth or bringing into the church of God the glory and honor of the Lord's grace for the edification of his people; therefore they remain this day as they were seven years back, still in the furnace, and still under the dominion of self. Blessed are they that obey the Word; they only "have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city". But how many seem to come very near this gate, and we receive them in love because we see them so near, but alas! they start aside at this very point; and I fear some of you, my hearers, have become teachers, though you never knew anything about going through this gate, which is Christ Jesus; stopping short of those evidences that accompany salvation, you imagine you have wisdom enough not only to find another way as good, but also to show to your neighbors the same. It is Jesus Christ alone that gives the title to the tree of life, and what is freer than a gift? Why this stopping short at the entrance of the gate? The word says, "Go through." It will be your mercy to beg of God to be able to discover the difference between going through and stopping short. What sort of a religion is that which leads you in your trouble to go to an arm of flesh for help? Some of you have been employed long at this work, and now your prop is dead your religion is gone. It is a fearful thing to have no better hope or help than we can get from a fellow mortal. Some of you have tongues long enough for teachers, but they only betray your ignorance, and give no account of the reason of the hope that is in you, either in meekness or in fear. If you are enabled to make the Lord your refuge, you will find him "a friend that sticks closer than a brother". "Without are dogs," and they will devour unless the Lord is your refuge. Without also is "whatever loves and makes a lie". Who loves a lie better than those who speak some truth from a hard and unrenewed heart? Take heed; "I Jesus" send the Spirit of God in a faithful ministry. None else can get at the secret. The secret of the Lord is with them that fear him; and they won't say that Shibboleth and Sibboleth are all the same. If the Lord Jesus send us, he will make us testify of many things not pleasant to the flesh, for which we must bear the cross and be hated of all men. Christ here calls himself "the bright and morning star". He who walks with Christ walks in the light, and will neither stumble nor cause others to stumble.
"He who has an ear, let him hear," and join with all the church of God in inviting poor sinners to Jesus Christ. Many among you know the sound of the gospel, but with a false zeal mix many errors with it, and go about to sow them; but he who is truly athirst will come with godly simplicity and show his sorrows and fears by the disquietude of his mind and the distress he finds in whatever company he goes into. He can find no rest for his soul until he tastes of this water of life. These are they who are made willing in the day of God's power. When I was a youth I hated religion and often resolved never to enter any place of worship, and I used to run out of the house when family prayer was likely to begin, but the day of God's power was felt by me in many ways. Sickness, disappointments, and vexations of all sorts, made me stoop, and though like a bullock unaccustomed to the yoke, the Lord never left me until he broke the neck of my rebellion; and the first taste of this water of life made me very willing to be found in God's way.
I then referred to the preceding chapter, where the Lord says, "Behold, I make all things new." What are the old things? Self-will and many such things. The new are humility and spiritual obedience, which will lead us to have our testimony from God, and not from one another. I know some who have sadly mistaken this point, and in natural affection have given a brilliant testimony that has come to nothing at all. God's testimony will teach us not to be all leaders, but in all humility to seek to be instructed, and to watch the hand of God. Do not profess that you know how to walk, without knowing something of the Lord Jesus Christ. He alone will be a sure guide. If you get a taste of this "water of life" you will have the eyes of your understanding enlightened; if not (pretend as you please to teach) you will only be like the wooden guide post at the corner of this garden, and point out the way without going one step in it. "He who overcomes" (it is said) "shall inherit all things." It is a terrible overcoming. Think for a moment of your pressing at the strait gate without the Lord for your refuge! What signifies your profession, if your sentence comes not forth from the Lord Jesus Christ? The press will indeed be heavy at this strait gate, but he that has Christ for his Friend will have all his broken bones healed, and shall hear these blessed words, "I will be his God, and he shall be my son." If you prove your adoption of God, you will seek the lowest place, and a little child in grace may lead you. You know not the snares that are about you. The books you distribute are not of God, nor are they the same that we preach. The are of the enemy is to mix some truth with many errors, and especially to work a false spirit, and thus, if possible, to draw aside the simple. May the Lord give you grace to take the warning, though some of you will stand to it that it is all the same. O no! God forbid that we should have a hard and impudent confidence. O how my heart goes up in prayer that you may not be devoured by wolves! If you continue in your errors, you may keep all your profession for awhile, but be sure that for want of the Spirit's teaching, it will wither at last. Why should you be besotted with things that cannot profit? O how sweetly composed does the Lord keep my spirit, while I am warning you all of the dangers to which you are exposed, and by which some are already entangled. You will find it terribly hard work to get back again, if ever you do so at all. Remember what I told you on Sunday about abiding in the field. Ruth's safety lay in her obedience. Take heed; "without are dogs;" and these with all their friends will have their part in the "second death". Go not about from place to place, but keep the testimony of God, and let your simple account reach the hearts of all that fear God.
Our poor young friend Maurice Perkins, now dying, when first taken ill, thought he knew everything, and told me that he had answers to prayer as well as I; but it pleased God to show him the condition in which he stood in God's sight, which was very different from his own judgment of his state. Here he fell, and could get no answer, until at last he cried out, "I am utterly lost." My visits now became acceptable to him, and he began to inquire if there might be any hope for him now, his sins were so great and so many; and it pleased God in great mercy to reveal himself to his soul in many ways, first with encouragement, then with a brighter hope, and now with a sweet and holy confidence that the Lord will never leave him nor forsake him. He told me today that he found "the green pastures" mentioned in Psalm 23 very sweet, and that they were the promises of God applied here and there, a word now and then, so as to remove the fear of death. He said, "I have no desire to return to the world, I have no appetite for it; I don't know how I could return to it, for everything is contrary to what I now want." What do you now want, Maurice? "Nothing but Christ; and he is not to be found in the world. When he is absent, I have no comfort; when he comes, I have no want, either for body or for soul." Surely there is a reality in this! This is a teachable spirit, that causes none to stumble.
It was said to John, "Come hither, I will show you the Bride, the Lamb's wife." She is covered with the glory of God, surrounded by the walls of salvation, and guided and measured by the golden reed, which is the Word of God. As Halyburton says, the protection of the Lamb's wife is marvelous; (1) the Spirit of God; (2) the special providence of God; (3) the intercession of Christ; (4) the everlasting covenant; (5) the irreversible decrees of God. The Lord does not leave his people to defend themselves: his righteousness, his mercy, his faithfulness, his unchangeableness, are all combined in their protection and salvation. As for this city, it is said, "The glory of God did lighten it; and the Lamb is the light thereof." O that they who are so unsteady knew the Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity and truth; then would they fall before him in humility and godly simplicity, and confess their sin. O my friends, make the Lamb your light, and then you will manifest the glory of God, and the church of God will rejoice together with you. Take heed lest the light that is in you be like that of the foolish virgins who had no oil in their lamps, which therefore went out when most needed. No mercy, no salvation for you, if the Lamb be not your light. It is the calamity of some that their head, their tongue, and their feet, go faster than their heart. Do duly consider whether the Lamb of God has ever given you the light of salvation; for all other lights will be put out in obscure darkness. Therefore sleep not, but pray; "for the nations of them which are saved" shall walk in the light of the Lamb, and will not be disobedient to his Word.
From your faithful friend, James Bourne
Letter 306
(To the Rev. W. Maddy.) Pulverbach, 8 November 1844.
My dear Friend,
I am always glad to hear from you; you are always kind; but the old sore runs still in your strict adherence to your work of mortifying sin, though you have some right views that this can only be accomplished by the Spirit.
Dr. Owen says, If we have not the Spirit of Christ, we cannot mortify sin. Conversion of the soul comes first, and then mortification and self-denial. If the Spirit of Christ be in you, you have the effectual means of mortifying sin; but they who are in the flesh have no power; all their attempts at mortification without the Spirit of Christ will be vain. They labor in the fire, and are consumed by their legal convictions, but are never the nearer to getting deliverance from their corruptions. When the Spirit of Christ comes to this work he will be as a refiner's fire, and will take away the dross; but there must be silver at the bottom, or the refining will do no good. If you have an eye of faith to look on Christ whom your sins have pierced, this will lead to mourning and mortification. A sense of his pardoning love will lead to many cries for help from the right quarter.
Papists tell you to pinch the flesh; Dr. Johnson tells you to put no sugar in your tea; the Pharisees tell you to make the outside of the cup clean. But our Savior asks whether men gather grapes from thorns. "Make the tree good;" then that spiritual and divine union with the Lord Jesus Christ will produce the right self-denial. The foolish attempts to mortify sin by fleshly resolutions will only bring disquietude and self-pity, and gall the soul into perpetual bondage, and in this way perpetually divert it from the right point, or the right way of coming to Christ. For as Owen observes, men are ready to say, Is not this sin and that to be mortified? and to deceive themselves with the delusion that their condition is good because of a work of the flesh which they call self-denial. But whoever attempts to get the mastery of his sins without an interest in Christ will find it a fruitless way of seeking for salvation. When the Lord lays the axe to the root, then fall all false confidences, and Christ alone is the sure refuge; but while we have one particle of strength we will show our too great readiness to help in this great salvation.
I have often been alarmed at your hints of giving up in a kind of despair because you see how vain your attempts are to conquer sin. How much better to come to self-despair, and rise in earnest seeking to the Lord Jesus Christ to do that for you and in you which you have so vainly attempted. Owen tells us we are not aware that the whole house is on fire, while we are vainly employed in stopping up a small hole; and that to break a man from this sin, and not to break his heart, is effecting very little. No sin can be killed without an interest in Christ Jesus. Without the Spirit, there is no mortification of sin; and, of course, a total ignorance of the righteousness of Christ. May the Lord give you the true liberty which is found in Christ Jesus, and under the sweet influence of that constraining power, may you learn to put off the daily cravings of the old man, and thus manifestly walk in the Spirit, and not fulfill the lusts of the flesh.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 307
(To Mr. Maydwell) Pulverbach, November 1844.
My dear Friend,
You have been indirectly acquainted with all my proceedings here, so far as I could relate them by writing, but I am not by that means able to describe the inward conflict that I have often been in, and the many terrible fears that have invaded my soul, sometimes dreading presumption, and sometimes sorely cast down by the feebleness of my hope and faith in the midst of many mercies; and (what has added to these burdens) heavy charges from the enemy, which he declares he will bring against me in the hour of death, when heart and flesh both fail. None know, but those who have felt it, the keen sensation caused by the discovery of our sin when the Lord is hidden; these two things meeting together drink up my spirit, and I am made to cry, "Woe is me, for I am undone." No sinner like myself. Yet all this, by the mercy of God, shows me where a sinner stands in God's sight who has not Christ to plead his cause; and this it is that makes me faithfully set before the people, to the utmost of my power, the danger of stopping short; or if they appear to know anything aright, that their life may not be vain and light; for I am forced to tell them that the enemy is continually going about to trip up the heels of such, and make them rue their folly many days. It is not said in vain to young and old, "Be sober, be vigilant;" for where you least suspect, there you are soonest betrayed.
I shall never forget the time when the Lord whispered in my ears, "Son of man, what sees you?" and though between sleeping and waking, I knew the voice, and there appeared before me a dreadfully hot furnace, with a volume of smoke (I can almost fancy I see it now), and I awoke with the words on my lips in reply, I see a smoking furnace; and so it proved to me. But I referred to the Scripture (Genesis 15), and found that in this way the Lord renewed his covenant with Abram; and so he often did with me in my long trouble, and I found a lamp that burnt brighter than ever, continually supplied with fresh oil by the sweet anointing of the Holy Spirit. In the intervals of these comforts I was often pressed down with alarming fears, as I am now, that the enemy would make dreadful work with me at my latter end; but in carefully reading that chapter, when I came to the words, "You shall go to your fathers in peace, you shall be buried in a good old age," the Lord greatly comforted me, and fully satisfied my soul that he would never leave me nor forsake me. I have lately been greatly cast down with many things and persons, and above all with the discovery of the sin of my nature; but having to refer to those same words, the sweetness was renewed, and my hope revived.
I am happy to say that I leave the people in unity. I long to have my tedious journey over; my old age brings a dread of such things, but my heart is toward the Lord that he may help me through, and restore me to my family in safety.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 308
(To a Friend) London, December 1843.
My dear Friend,
I should have written to you before this, had I not been much occupied with a poor and afflicted people in Shropshire; and since my return, at Hertford, I have often thought of you and your trials, especially when I have felt my own to be very heavy.
What makes our trials still heavier is encouraging too much the feeling that the hour of temptation is prolonged. We are apt to forget that the Lord tells us the captivity is for seventy years (Jeremiah 29:10), which is a figure to set before us that it shall continue to the end of our days, though with many sweet revivals and springing hopes. All these things have a tendency to clip the wings of our vain imaginations of what we will do in life. The Lord never deals worse with us when he has brought us down, but in our low condition causes all his goodness to pass before us. When flourishing and lifted up, we find no beauty nor loveliness to desire in the Savior; but when sinking with Peter, we cry for our lives; and then is his compassion moved, and he tells us that in all our afflictions he is afflicted, which sweetly reconciles the cross, and makes us willing to be anything or nothing, if only we may have his pardoning love shed abroad in our hearts.
I have sometimes thought the Lord suffers us to find the trouble long, and the comfort short, that we may not make our nest in this world. He knows how to put thorns into it when we seek to nestle down in it, and begin to think we have something laid up for many days. He comes and blows upon such thoughts, by some messenger or other, that brings such tidings as make our ears to tingle, and our spirits to sink, so that we cry out, "Woe is me." The design of God is to humble us, and I believe I myself need more of this humbling than any. I am seldom out of the furnace; yet my comfort in my affliction is that the Word of the Lord quickens me, and that, like the children in the furnace in Daniel's days, I am not suffered to be there alone. The marvelous love of God is oftener with me there than anywhere, and gently leads me through, while the Lord tells me, "I am your salvation."
Yesterday these words were very precious to me: "He shall cover you with his feathers." This morning they came with an inconceivable power to my heart, and it was as Hart says:
"No new demand, no bar remains,
But mercy now triumphant reigns."
O how sweetly the intercession of Christ appeared to me; how close I found him to my heart! And these words followed, "Because you have made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the Most High, your habitation, there shall no evil befall you." These are the times and seasons that reconcile every cross, and teach us not only to bear reproach, but also how to profit by it, and make it fruitful in our general walk, and in the church of God.
Last Saturday evening Mr. Nunn finished his course. A two weeks before his death he had the heaviest conflict he ever had in his life; but as his end approached, he was so comforted that he said he had never expected that the Lord would deal so gently with him. "Is this death?" he asked; "How peaceful and quiet! How happy! Let me lean my head on your shoulder; the Lord reward you all for your troubles;" and breathed his last in his chair, none perceiving when.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 309
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 14 December 1844.
My dear Friend,
How glad I was to receive your letter and to hear the comfortable contents! I had a sweet evening last Sunday in speaking to your people at Hertford, and had a good journey home the next day. You know I am continually involved in fresh difficulties every day. I believe it is to keep me low. How frightful is the discovery of a complaining thought, at the sight of which I am made to cry, "Enter not into judgment with your servant, O Lord;" and then he is pleased to still that tyrant. On Monday last I went mournfully and heavy laden into my own room at home, and said, O Lord, how can I expect such repeated tokens of your mercy and favor, amidst such continual backslidings! O how many times you have healed me, and how much you have done for me, and I am yet coming again and again! Though very sorrowful, I opened the Bible, and to my surprise the Lord led my eyes to these words: "He shall cover you" (Psalm 91:4). I did not feel any power, but a sweet inviting still to look to him, and the meditation on the words was sweet the whole of the day. The next morning I turned to the same words, and the rest of the verse was added with a divine power that I am unable to express. O how it melted my heart down into godly sorrow and sweet contrition of spirit, and clean removed all my fears and all my sorrows for awhile! But alas! I perceive the clouds return quickly after the rain, and many mountains rose up before me, but these things led me to prayer, and I again returned to the same psalm, "He who dwells in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty." I felt assured I knew the secret place which was the bosom of Christ's everlasting love, open to all believers; and here the fire kindled once more, and the Lord returned with double comfort, and what I have so often written lately came again with such heavenly sweetness that it broke my heart to pieces with the feeling sense of his tender love. I am scarcely able to proceed while I tell you the effect of this upon my heart, the divine impression it has made, and the sweet tenderness it has left. My morning readings were very sweet, and two or three visits from the Lord every day kept my spirit calm and still, though often trembling; this led to many secret prayers with much watchfulness, and the Lord heard, and granted both bodily and spiritual strength equal to my day.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 310
Hertford, 22 December 1844.
My dear Wife and Children,
I little thought at the beginning of this day that I should have such a sweet taste of the Lord's everlasting love. I am often burdened with fear, but today on turning to Leviticus 16 I read how Aaron was directed to take sweet incense and to put it on the fire before the Lord, that the cloud of the incense might cover the mercy seat, that he should not die; and this should be a sweet smelling savor to God; so the fragrant incense of the Savior's prayer, as recorded in John 17, ascended with glory, and is prevalent for us; the sweet perfume of his intercession always prevails; by it we are sustained and protected, and carried safely through all our troubles. O how sweetly was my spirit quieted under my present troubles, and a holy confidence wrought to commit all that is to come, and death itself, to him, to direct, overrule, and order according to the blessed mind and will of that eternal and heavenly Intercessor, who I now felt assured was my Friend. O what a holy triumph it wrought, what heavenly life and light, what self-abasement! How unutterable are these feelings! How many prayers they draw forth for others! How willingly the soul is made to bear the fear, shame, and dishonor which seem at other times a heavy load; and how such visits cause us to die to the world!
In the midst of this secret comfort, several who are rich and great in their own estimation are set before me, but I have no heart to envy them, no desire to come into their secret or assembly; but truly a heart to pity. I felt myself according to the Lord's promise, hidden under his feathers, with no desire to remove. Sweet place of safety! Who would have thought that I, so abject, so wretched a sinner, so fit for nothing, should yet be included in this sweet intercession, with the promise that as I am a partaker of a measure of the glory of it now, so I shall be a partaker of the full fruition hereafter? O how this led me to pray for many, and to entreat the Lord on their behalf, that they also might see that glory of which just now I had a glimpse. Unutterable peace flows into my heart while I write, and yet this sweet word keeps still whispering, "He shall cover you with his feathers," and makes me to rejoice with trembling, not knowing what a day may bring forth.
The above was written Saturday night, but this morning (Sunday) my burdens returned, and with much fear and sorrow I went to Port Valley Chapel. There the Lord appeared again with a high hand on my behalf, and I found his comforting presence, and help to speak from these words, "Remember me, O Lord, with the favor that you bear unto your people; O visit me with your salvation; that I may see the good of your chosen, that I may rejoice in the gladness of your nation, that I may glory with your inheritance" (Psalm 106:4, 5). The Lord was with me and made me a sensible partaker of these mercies.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 311
Hertford, 23 December 1844.
To my dear Friends in the Lord that usually assemble at Pulverbach.
How often is my heart towards you, desiring your spiritual and eternal welfare! How anxious I am that you may all be aware of the danger of a false profession, a religion that has no root; for there never was a day wherein this prevailed more than the present. I truly desire that you may not be dismayed at the cross, in whatever shape it may appear, whether in fear, shame, or reproach. The Savior tells us, "Everyone must be salted with fire." This is sharp work, but the wisdom of God and the power of God is sufficient to carry you through, and it will be your mercy to esteem the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures of this world, and to have respect unto the recompense of the reward.
What glory is there in this world, or in a vain profession of religion, like the glory which the Savior prays that his own may behold? O may you all be among that number of whom he says, "I pray for them; I pray not for the world, but for them which you have given me; for they are your." May the Lord give you this sweet testimony. The Savior adds, "Holy Father, keep through your own name those whom you has given me, that they may be one, as we are." O my dear friends, lay to heart your high vocation, and consider well the towers and bulwarks of Zion, the munitions of rocks, your place of defense. Ours is a strong Lord, able and willing to help the broken-hearted. May every one of you find this blessed testimony, "I have given them your word." For this the world hates them, because they are not of the world, but have by the grace of God been enabled to render spiritual obedience to that Word. It is my most sincere desire that your souls may thirst after that oneness for which the Savior prays again, "That they all may be one, as you, Father, are in me, and I in them, that they also may be one in us;" and that so you may receive of his glory. There is no possibility of beholding his glory if we are not first partakers of his grace. It refers not wholly to hereafter, but also to every glorious visit he pays us, wherein he reveals his love, pity, compassion, and tender care, in comforting us in our afflictions, as well as in carrying us clean through all the Red Sea troubles that our sins procure (John 17:9-24).
"This God is the God we adore,
Our faithful unchangeable friend,
Whose love is as large as his power,
And knows neither measure nor end."
No vulture's eye, however keen, no vain professor, however wise in his own conceit, no child of the flesh, no unconverted person of any denomination, can conceive what our dear and ever blessed Redeemer has prepared for them that love him and walk according to his Word. O what tenderness, holy awe, and godly fear, do the wonders of redeeming love call for in us! What holy conversation and godliness do these things draw forth from every heart which the Lord has in any measure made sensible of these marvelous privileges! Secure nowhere but in Christ Jesus. How sweetly I felt this last night, while speaking to the people at chapel! "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?" O no! How can it be, after such prayers as the blessed Savior has put up to the Father in our behalf? He says, "I know that you hear me always;" and therefore as our Intercessor he pleads our cause, and pays our debt, and leaves neither spot nor wrinkle upon us. This is the blessed effect of that divine and spiritual union which exists between Christ and his people. O may the Lord instruct you all more fully respecting it, and not suffer you to stop short of the testimony of the Spirit to your spiritual adoption into this heavenly family.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 312
(To Mr. Yeomans) London, 1 January 1845.
My dear Friend whom I love in the Lord,
I have been greatly encouraged by your describing the various conflicts you have been called to endure in the furnace of sanctified afflictions. Since it has pleased God to lay his correcting hand upon the sin of my nature I have felt but little profit in the conversation of any but such as have been well immersed in the same trouble. The Lord himself comforts us with the sweet assurance that he endured many things that he might be a faithful and merciful High Priest, and know how to support the tempted. You well observe that the heaviest storms often come after a dead calm; and these sudden and painful frights have often overtaken me as well as you during the last nine years, and have filled me with great awe and a continual trembling at God's judgments. I am much comforted (odd as it may appear) to hear that you scarcely know how to put on a cheerful countenance, because of the straitness of the gate we are made to enter. I have wept many an hour alone that my crosses might be removed from my shoulders, but the Lord does not see fit to spare me for my much crying, yet he often tells me (what I find in the end to be true) that these are channels by which he conveys the sweetest blessings, especially the grace of self-abasement and humility. The great object of our grand adversary is to keep our minds and thoughts not only upon what he represents as present evils, but also upon a high and huge mountain of many more things which are not likely ever to take place, and then he shows us what wretches we are. Such and such good people, they have not the need of such perpetual bruising, for they are favorites, and walk as Christians ought to walk; but you, you know why the Lord afflicts you. I am forced to say, True, Lord, I am a worse sinner than any, and must acknowledge your righteous dispensations; I feel the deep necessity for them. But when brought down to this, and really expecting the next blow will be my final destruction, then comes in the Lord with all his saving benefits, and instead of reproof there is nothing but love. O how often has the precious Savior brought me to this! How often has it been said to me of late, "He shall cover you with his feathers, his truth shall be your shield and buckler."
So I found it at Pulverbach; many a time have I carried a heavy heart to the place of meeting, but not once through the mercy of God have I been left without the sweet token of his presence before I finished. Since my return I have been a month at Hertford on the same errand, but often sorely burdened with fear as well as many other trials; but the Lord sanctified my troubles, and gave me an awe and holy confidence in him to help me to declare the truth faithfully as far as he revealed it. I never felt myself so bold before, nor was I ever so able to point out the path of tribulation, and the necessity of carrying the daily cross. I told them I feared I should not be welcomed there by some who (I was sure) were living at ease in Zion, but who would most assuredly be brought to light however carefully they might seek to conceal themselves. After speaking I am always cast down with a sense of shame and ignorance. On Sunday evening at Hertford I was forced to go in private and beg the Lord to pardon all my ignorance and presumption, and to keep me from such things in future, that I might not grieve him. I know not when I found such sincere abject repentance, with many tears; and the Lord came with divine power, and changed all my tears of sorrow to tears of joy, and gave me a most heavenly view of his love and approbation.
It has been through this mysterious path of tribulation that the Lord has instructed me not only in the outward knowledge but in the sweetest, brightest, and most heavenly tokens of his love to me in Christ Jesus; so as to say from my heart, "He has done all things well." I am sure this is what the Lord has been long doing for and in you also; and I believe we both shall have to bless God to all eternity, for leading us into and through this path of tribulation.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 313
(To Mr. Yeomans) London, 26 February 1845.
My dear Friend,
I was exceedingly glad to see your letter, and however painful the path of tribulation is to us yet I am sure both you and I prove this part of God's Word to be true: "You shall not be forgotten of me." I have been this day looking over a paper which I have written, giving an account of myself from my birth to the present day. I assure you my heart has trembled at the recollections of the many deep waters the Lord has strengthened me to wade through. I am forced to acknowledge that my sins have procured them all, and when I find an honest heart to confess the real truth, it must be, "Surely I am more brutish than any man," and in whatever company I go I am filled with shame to see and hear how much more godly simplicity and sincerity there is in others than in myself; and on this account I wonder not at the repeated blows I have for my foolishness. Nevertheless I have much to be thankful for. "Scarcely saved" (1 Peter 4:18) are words we are apt to overlook. It is a wonder we are saved at all. I cannot tell how it is that the Lord should ever look upon me, a poor outcast from the womb, whom no man regarded, destitute in every sense of the word, and yet his eye has been upon me for good in all my afflictions; and the heavier the troubles, the brighter the tokens of the Lord's favor.
Neither you nor I knew anything of the goodness of the Lord, until we had been well immersed in affliction. This is the Lord's precious opportunity of showing us how dearly he loves us, and how efficacious his grace is to save to the uttermost. I could give you such a long list of suffering saints among us as would astonish you, and they also would tell you how near the Lord is to them in the hour of trouble. I have often wondered at the endearing names the Lord gives us, his portion, his inheritance, and many more; to show us how precious we are in his sight. I am so apt to forget that the Lord's deadly blows are at the old man in us, which must be crucified. It is hard work dying to this world; but the Word speaks of a daily crucifixion. We are ready to ask, Is there to be no discharge in this war? The Lord says, None until death, and that shall be a full discharge forever and ever.
Sometimes I have a glimmering sight or distant hearing of these words as addressed even to me, when it is said, "What are these?" and the Lord will answer, "These are they (you and I) which came out of great tribulation, and have washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb" (Rev. 7:13, 14). This will richly compensate for all our troubles; no more sorrows, sighs, or tears. When I have faith to realize or make this my own, then I am satisfied; but oh! the death and bondage and fears, that continually overtake me, bring many a heavy hour. "Affliction comes not forth of the dust, neither does trouble spring out of the ground," yet they overtake us; and I am made at times to wonder why I have so few, when I see my continual departing from the Lord. If it were not for these there would be no grace of humility; and I am sure there is no grace that yields more peaceable fruits than this. "When Ephraim spoke trembling, he exalted himself in Israel; but when he offended in Baal, he died" (Hosea 13:1). It is my sincere desire to learn to stoop under the mighty hand of God, and to put my mouth in the dust; if so be there may be hope.
May every blessing attend you in all your afflictions is the sincere desire of
Your faithful and affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 314
(To J. G.) London, February 1845.
My dear Friend,
The enemy takes great advantage of some of you who are tormented with the sin of their nature, and seem to be laboring to destroy outright that old man of sin which the Scriptures teach us shall be left, like the Canaanite, to prove us as long as we live. It is a fallacy to look for a state wherein our sad corruptions shall be utterly slain, for that will never be while we are here below, as the Apostle Paul fully shows. The law of the Spirit of life frees us from the condemnation that is in the law of sin and death, but not from the temptation, nor from being perpetually disturbed by it. This the Lord suffers, that from the heart we may feelingly cry, "O wretched man that I am," tormented with evil thoughts, hardness of heart, and a perpetual proneness to backslide! Who shall deliver me from the miserable death and bondage which these bring into the soul? and then thank God that the deliverance is brought about and wrought by our Lord Jesus Christ. Here is the discovery of that corrupt principle which works in us with mighty power, but not with almighty power; and the more the Holy Spirit discovers to us the things that lie secretly in our hearts, and upon all occasions are so ready to show themselves, so much the more does he teach us that these are not to be put off by fleshly means, but brought to Jesus Christ, who will make known unto us that in him alone we have righteousness and strength. If these discoveries of our wretchedness and sin lead to a conflict, and are really our sorrowful meat, we shall find that they do not work guilt or condemnation, nor cause the Lord to hide his face; but we shall perceive what the apostle means to show us, that "it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwells in me".
It is needful for our establishment that we should be well and clearly instructed on these points; for the enemy makes a desperate handle of the discovery of our sin, though the Spirit shows us that it is needful for us. The Savior was led of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil, yet he was without sin. The temptation is not the sin; the devil found nothing in the Lord that could catch his hellish fire; but not so with us, for some of us may say, like Hart,
"Me he found, and always held,
The easiest fool he had."Nevertheless, if by the grace of God we are enabled to make a stand on the threshold of temptation, and the Lord comes in to our relief, then we perceive that the temptation is not the evil, but our falling by it. This is a distinction we ought all of us to be instructed in, as it would often prove a comfort to us in those dangerous hours when the enemy comes in like a flood.
Do, my dear friend, pray for me; I have many battles to fight, and I have neither wisdom nor strength. We are all entering into dangerous times, and I fear all who profess the truth will not stand the brunt. My heart trembles while I write, fearing I may be considered a troubler in Israel.
Yours very affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 315
(To a Friend) London, 20 March 1845.
Dear Friend,
When the Lord first puts his afflicting hand upon us, if we are quickened by the Spirit, what a dreadful alarm is raised in the conscience, and how many things are brought to light which before lay unsuspected! The Lord sends the affliction as his messenger, as if he said, I am now on my way to you; how will you abide my coming? This sinks us lower; and when he appears and calls us secretly to his bar, then heart and flesh both fail, and we, like Daniel, retain no strength. Our hope gives way, and all seems gone, and we are left shorn like the barren heath.
Although our profession may have the root of the matter as its mainspring, yet at the beginning, before the Refiner comes, we are not aware of the dross which superabundantly mixes itself with the fine gold. Hence the necessity of the furnace to purify and purge away that which only seems to be right, and to make room for the substance. Before the Lord takes us in hand by affliction, we are very general in many things, and do not understand the discipline of God's Word; we put natural things for spiritual, such as natural affection; soft feelings, until we can weep again; sentimental notions; or a very pleasant evening spent in reading, bringing great calmness of spirit, purely natural. All this comes to nothing when the Lord puts his hand upon us, and we are astonished to find how ignorant we are, and how little power we possess when the trial comes on. Thus we learn that it is not all gold that glitters: many natural things give their color aright in the glass, and move outwardly with seeming truth; but alas, when the night of affliction comes on, then we perceive there is nothing left of our religion but "a piece of an ear", and scarcely that (Proverbs 23:31; Amos 3:12).
It is our mercy that this heavenly Refiner will take such pains with us, and not suffer us to spend the flower of our days in vanity, nor the cream of our affections upon created objects. Whom he designs to save, even "every one that is written among the living in Jerusalem", must pass through these trials "by the Spirit of judgment and by the Spirit of burning"; but he also declares that upon all this glorious work "there shall be a defense" (Isaiah 4:3-5). The axe must be laid at the root of the tree. The Lord will come with his fan in his hand; but nothing but chaff shall be lost. A thorough purging must take place, or no gathering of the wheat. Before these things overtake us our religion is more than half in the flesh. We know not how to offer that "pure offering" spoken of by Malachi, until we have been immersed in affliction, and that is what the Lord desires at our hands. The Spirit of God works in us the sweet graces of humility and godly simplicity, and under their influence we approach the Lord Jesus Christ, and our offering is pleasant to him. Thus spiritual life is maintained, and we walk with the Lord "in peace and equity"; which makes us take up our daily cross willingly, seeing the wisdom of God and his righteousness in all his dispensations. We also learn that our life is not to be spent in natural pleasures and natural quietness, for our blessed Lord himself was "a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief"; and we are called to follow his steps.
You will think I am pointing out a doleful way, but I would wish you to understand that neither I nor any of God's people find it all sorrow. This is addressed to us (by the same prophet Malachi), and we have often found the truth of it: "Unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings; and you shall go forth, and grow up as calves of the stall." It is my most sincere desire for you, that you may take heart, and not faint in this day of adversity. "The Lord is very pitiful and of tender mercy;" and I trust you will find that he will be to you "as a little sanctuary" in all your present troubles.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 316
London, 22 March 1845.
Dear Maurice Perkins,
What an inexpressible mercy that the Lord should condescend to visit you under your present weakness! How many there are who are sick as you are, and yet know nothing but sorrow and despair! How remarkably the Lord has appeared to the relief and comfort of both body and soul, telling you that he is gently taking you to himself, where there will be no more pain or sickness! I have no doubt you have some sorrowful hours, but something whispers,
"Cheer up, you traveling souls,
On Jesus' aid rely."And then (as you say) when you have prayed a little, he comes into your heart, and you hardly know how, but it gives such a turn to your thoughts, that instead of poring over your troubles, you are drawn out in meditation on the love of Christ to you, and this makes you to forget your poverty, and remember your misery no more.
I believe it has pleased God to spare your life, and to keep you so long in the furnace of affliction, for the good of others, that your friends and neighbors may see the power and efficacy of his grace; how he can and does keep the soul alive in the midst of death. This is a source of encouragement to others as well as to yourself, and shows you all that the Lord will never forsake his people. One of old says, "You have known my soul in adversities." This has often encouraged me, because we all know anybody will be a friend when we are in prosperity; but for one to know us in adversity is scarcely to be looked for, only in the Lord Jesus Christ, who suffered himself to be "a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief", that he might know how to support the afflicted. This you know is a truth. You have often found him looking upon you with the utmost compassion when in your miserable and hopeless condition; and it will be but a very short time before you will have a boundless eternity to bless the Lord for all the way he has led you these twenty-eight years, all ordered in mercy.
Tell your dear brother and his wife I sincerely hope that the eyes of their understanding may be opened to discern what is truth, and that they may see the power of it in you, how it has raised you from death and ignorance to newness of life, and often brings in a sweet assurance of eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. The Lord bless you and take you by the hand as you enter this River Jordan, and you will then find that there will be no sinking with him for your prop "who holds the world and all things up".
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 317
London, 30 March 1845.
Dear Maurice Perkins,
It comforts my heart exceedingly to hear that you are cheered and visited of the Lord, in the midst of your pains and bodily afflictions; and though often cast down between times, and made to mourn the absence of the Lord, yet as you say, how often in that cast-down state, after you have prayed awhile, he has come and filled your soul with such comfort, that you have hardly known how to bear it. Who would have thought that the Lord would pick up even you, in that corner of the world, and give you such mercy? It is said, the Lord will bring his afflicted people from the ends of the earth; "They shall come with weeping, and with supplications will I lead them; I will cause them to walk by the rivers of waters in a straight way, wherein they shall not stumble; for I am a Father to Israel." This has been your happy lot; and the Lord has often told you that he will never leave you nor forsake you, even when you pass through the waters, and walk through the fire. How often have I witnessed the truth of this in the death of the Lord's people! How faithful and true is the Lord to his Word! Cleave close to the Lord Jesus Christ, and whatever startles you, tell him at once, and you will find him a safe resting place for both body and soul. I never cease to pray for you, and desire from my heart to bless the Lord for his marvelous mercy to you.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 318
(To Mr. Yeomans) Sutton Coldfield, May 1845.
My dear Friend,
You will wonder to see my address here, as I suppose it is a place well known to you. I was deeply exercised for a long time before I felt my way clear, but the Lord has been pleased most marvelously to show me his will concerning it, though it has been, and is still, often disputed.
The enemy is always watching our times of affliction, and as soon as he sees us entangled with perplexing circumstances, then he knows it is his time for assault. He never winnows but when the corn is under the flail. Here faith is apt to grow very feeble, and if we are rightly taught, we shall fly to the shield of faith; if that be neglected at this special time we shall presently be tempted to think hardly of God. Here Job fell; and here the apostle cautions us, "I would not have you ignorant of Satan's devices." These things generally follow a careless and heedless walk, which I believe you and I, having waded through deep waters, are, through the mercy of God, made greatly to fear, lest he should add tenfold to our trouble when the next affliction overtakes us. We must learn to give up everything for which the Lord contends! Here have I found the sweetest contrition, and have been enabled to say with Job, "Though you slay me, yet will I trust in you."
I have always found the judgments of God are a great deep; yet I sometimes think, and have even this day for a few minutes felt, with a heart full of love, that the darkest dispensations are most assuredly in love. The Father demanded ten thousand times more of his dearly beloved Son, and suffered him to know and feel more sorrow than I am capable of knowing. The Son suffered it all for our sakes, that he might be "a faithful and merciful High Priest", and know how to support us. I think I see in all this the Savior's great love, and the need on our part that we should have this continual correction. I may also say that I find in this path of tribulation most of the subject matter of my discourses to the people; and here it is I meet their feelings, and perceive that the Lord secretly works in my heart a sweet sense of his love and approbation while I am speaking; and this spiritual liberty, which is of the Lord, carries along with it much authority. It is in this way the Lord breaks down and keeps down the spirit both of the preacher and hearers; and here we get the feeling sense of Jeremiah's words: "It is of the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not;" here also we learn, with the same prophet, to put our mouths in the dust, and are greatly ashamed to see how like we are by nature to the bullock unaccustomed to the yoke.
Boston says, "The straits of the children of men afford a large field for displaying the Lord's glorious perfections, which otherwise would be wanting." See Exodus 14 and 15:The Lord signalises his glory to his dearest children in making and mending notable crooks in their lot; they make way for their richest experiences. Therefore we had better seek to humble ourselves under the yoke. I think I feel more earnest in prayer for this than anything else, and always find more sweetness in such a prayer than in any other; the Lord draws so very near, and enables me to kiss the rod and not quarrel with him. How often the Lord has told me to wait patiently and quietly to hope for his salvation! "Fear not, for you shall not be ashamed; neither be you confounded, for you shall not be put to shame." How often have I wondered at the manner in which the Lord has wiped away my reproach without my meddling with it, only crying to him in secret! The Lord of Hosts, as the Husband of his people, has stood by me, owned me for his own, and pleaded my cause; and I have found myself more than conqueror through him (Isaiah 54:4, 5).
May the Lord grant you his especial blessing and help under all your difficulties, and lead you to believe at all times that his eye is upon you for good, and that he is most carefully and tenderly leading you to an expected end of peace.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 319
(To the Rev. J. Vinall) Sutton Coldfield, 14 May 1845.
Dear Friend and companion in the path of tribulation,
Since I have heard of your complicated afflictions I have unceasingly prayed for you, because I know how solitary we are often made to sit in the hour of temptation. The Savior used to cross the brook Kedron and was much alone when in heavy trouble; and I believe you and I have found that few in this our day like to be troubled with the sorrows of those around them; but what adds to our grief is the sensible desertion of the Lord in the time of trouble; this exceeds all sorrow. I have seldom found that troubles come alone. The enemy is suffered to watch the hand of the Lord, and as sure as the Lord lays his hand upon us for our profit, he takes a bitter advantage of it, and adds all he can to our calamity. O how these things, when sanctified, bring down high thoughts and all vain speculations, and leave us only with all humility to say, "It is the Lord; let him do unto me what seems him good" (1 Samuel 3:18). How have I been enabled in these deep sorrows to say, Lord, if you are pleased to crush me I will still cry unto you. It is said in Psalm 81, "You called in trouble, and I delivered you; I answered you in the secret place of thunder." Who would have thought of finding the Lord where there seems to be nothing but despair?
Men are apt to judge, when the proud rise up against us, that we must utterly despair; they are little aware of the secret power that upholds us. They imagine that God is against us; nevertheless he secretly works such sweet hope in the heart, that in the midst of the storms of afflictions which overtake us there is often a sweet calm within which neither the world, the flesh, nor the devil, can disturb. Men draw false conclusions from outward appearances; but the word of the Lord is, "Let the weak say, I am strong;" again, "In me you shall have peace." Luther says that the life of a godly man consists in the cross, solitude, and weakness, and that these things make him a proper object for the Lord to be the light of his countenance, and the lifter up of his head. This makes us glory in Christ's great salvation. The world glory in their shame, but the Lord expressly tells us to glory in understanding and knowing him (Jeremiah 9:23, 24).
David complains in Psalm 3 of many enemies and many troubles; but he cried unto the Lord, and the Lord heard him, and then he declares, "You are my shield, my glory, and the lifter up of my head." This is what I have always found, and what I believe you continually find. The Lord counteracts despair by some timely help, and has brought me through many perplexities by this promise: "You shall not be forgotten of me." The time of temptation and affliction has always been a proof to me of the truth of David's words, "A broken and a contrite heart, O God, you will not despise."
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 320
(To Mr. Harrow) Sutton Coldfield, 24 May 1845.
My dear Friend,
Last night I was entreated to meet some friends at Mrs. W.'s to comment on some portion of Scripture. I believe the Lord led me to Ezekiel 22:14, "Can your heart endure, or can your hands be strong, in the days that I shall deal with you? I the Lord have spoken it, and will do it." I began by showing how God smites us for our dishonest gain, mentioned in the verse before; and told them that this dishonest gain was a false claim upon God, all sorts of vain hopes and foolish trusts that have no foundation. I then spoke of what it was to be melted in the midst of the furnace, and that there was a deep meaning when the Lord used such language as that he would blow upon us in the fire of his wrath, and pour out his fury upon us (vs. 17-22).
The prophet was not taught to consider religion a light thing; nor is it a light thing for a man to disregard the greatest part of the Word of God; but the Lord said to Ezekiel, "Sigh, therefore, you son of man, with the breaking of your loins." Here I asked, Have any of you been brought to this condition, or has your religion been quite easy? I fear you have been very cool, very half-hearted in a slight profession, and have not yet with bitterness sighed. For the Lord here says, "Every heart shall melt, and all hands shall be feeble, and every spirit shall faint, and all knees shall be weak as water; behold it comes, and shall be brought to pass, says the Lord." This shall be when he deals with us (Ezekiel 21:6, 7).
"With a mighty hand" (poor and rich without distinction shall feel this outstretched arm), will the Lord bring out and gather his people from their half-hearted profession, and bring them into the wilderness of his people, and there in that wilderness and helpless state "will plead with them face to face". I remarked that when this took place all those careful coverings of deceit, all those pretended flattering speeches, besides that hoard of innumerable awful sins, hid in the secret corners of the heart, and intended to be forever forgotten, are all brought to light; and we begin to feel we were born in sin and shaped in iniquity, and all our loveliness in which we have wrapped ourselves, proves loathsome filthy rags. This is the way the Lord causes us "to pass under the rod". Have any of you been this way? There is no Heaven without it. All must be salted with this fire; this is the only way to bring a man "into the bond of the covenant", and by which the Lord "will purge out the rebels". Rebels! (say you) What are they? The first is your judging yourself to have power to take what you like, and to leave what you like; your conceit of wisdom while you know nothing as you ought to know, but secretly judge a faithful speaker. These and many more are what are called rebels against God and his people (Ezekiel 20:33-38).
We are all apt to place ourselves somehow above the condition the Lord has designed; hence comes much of our misery; and as Dr. Owen says, we give to our wretched sins and pride such flattering titles that we can scarcely believe they can be hateful to God, and thus we deceive ourselves. But let your condition be what it may, the Lord has declared that all the trees of the field shall know that he brings down the high tree, and exalts the low tree; that he dries up the green tree, and makes the dry tree to flourish. There is nothing more mortifying to such high trees than to see the low ones exalted, hence comes all the bitterness and reproach that we have heaped upon us. How hard it is for the self-righteous to perceive that the Lord dries up their greenness, and not only will not accept, but utterly abhors all their pretended prayers, and outward show of devotion, and abundance of natural benevolence; and will make the outcast, the poor, the needy, the destitute, and desolate soul, to flourish. "I the Lord have spoken, and have done it" (Ezekiel 17:24).
O sweet grace and wonderful love! I can scarcely proceed while I write these things, for thinking how the Lord has so marvelously made me, who am indeed among the poor and needy, to rejoice at times in his great salvation. My hearers seemed much struck, and told Mrs. W. that they never before were so turned inside out. They said no more, but withdrew in silence, and with much apparent awe.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 321
(To Mr. Harrow) Sutton Coldfield, 30 June 1845.
My dear Friend,
Many things occasionally transpire here, though not openly declared. All manner of contrivances are made to stop the people from hearing me, but the more is said or done with this view, the more they come, so that not only is the large room full, but many stand in the hall.
My subject in the morning was from Micah 2:7, "O you that are named the house of Jacob, Is the Spirit of the Lord straitened? Are these his doings? Do not my words do good to him that walks uprightly?" I had many fears, and I felt much additional weakness because of my cold, but it pleased the Lord to give me the Spirit of grace and supplications, and I found much light and power; and the Lord was very near to me and to many more in the first prayer. I felt I had heavy tidings to deliver, and begged for spiritual courage. I began by saying that in this country we are all called Christians, and yet many who are considered devout persons deny the work of the Spirit; and then referred to Ezekiel 12 and 13:What is that rebellious house there spoken of? It sets forth the nominal church of God in all ages, among whom are found the true Israel of God. Their prophets are "like the foxes of the desert", crafty, designing, setting their face against the truth; especially that part which describes the broken heart, borne down with its transgression, and lying under the sensible wrath of God in a broken law. They use all manner of reproachful names, when the Spirit comes with his healing power into such a soul, setting before it the suitableness of the dying love of our Lord Jesus Christ. Friends, I said, this is what is preached against, and for this you must be passed by with scorn in the street; this is to be mocked and set aside; and yet we are publicly told to attend to unity. What awful ignorance! How plain it appears that the religion of this place is a lie, by the pretended unity it sets forth, and the warnings and admonitions it gives against the power of Christ's love experienced in the heart! What is the nature of the unity they require? Is it with the walls of the church, or with the people? If with the people, must it be with their gipsying parties in the park, and vanity of all sorts? O no. The Lord says, "Mine hand shall be upon the prophets that see vanity, and that divine lies: they shall not be in the assembly of my people, neither shall they be written in the writing of the house of Israel", the Lamb's book of life (Ezekiel 13:1-9). I then referred to Isaiah 59, and showed how truth failed, and how he that departed from evil made himself a prey. But the Lord makes a sweet provision for such as fear him; his affections of mercy are not straitened towards them. He hears their complaints of a wilderness heart, and can open rivers and fountains for their refreshment, and can dry up all seas of stormy troubles in answer to prayer. Do you find a trembling heart, praying for spiritual obedience to God's Word? "Who is among you that fears the Lord, that obeys the voice of his servant," and yet "walks in darkness and has no light? Let him trust in the name of the Lord, and stay upon his God." Let him still wait, and be assured that his expectation shall not be cut off; for the Spirit of the Lord is not straitened; though we are often sorely straitened.
In the evening my subject was from Rev. 3:18: "I counsel you to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that you may be rich, and white clothing that you may be clothed." I spoke much upon the counsel of God and the attention that should be paid to it. The Lord was so abundantly with me that I felt as if there were none present, though the place was as full as it could hold. I mentioned several instances of this counsel, and said this was the reason it was given: "Because you say, I am rich and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and know not that you are wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked." I feared many were deeper in these things than they were aware, therefore had need to "be watchful, and strengthen the things that remain", the little life that seems almost extinguished with vanities; and to call to mind how they heard at first, and with what godly simplicity they once appeared to receive the Word; and let there be seen some godly sorrow for this departing and this double mind that is found among you. For to such as will not watch, the Lord says he will come as a thief; and then there will be terrible work; which I myself have been brought into, to my sorrow and shame, for my want of attention to the counsel of God.
I can only give you a small portion of my subjects. I have been heavily laden, but to my surprise the Lord has wonderfully overruled all my fears, so that I never found more liberty in speaking, nor more of the Lord's kind help. I feared lest I had gone too far in my discourses, and when I came home was enabled honestly to beg pardon if I had exceeded; and O how the Lord poured his pity and mercy into my soul! I was most sweetly satisfied that the Lord was my Friend, and fully approved the word he enabled me to speak, which indeed was more plain and full than ever before. A man of the name of — seems truly enlightened; and some were greatly moved last night beyond what they had felt before.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 322
(To Mrs. W.) Sutton Coldfield, 5 July 1845.
My dear Friend,
I cannot help observing how the Lord has been pleading with you a long time, and how he appeared to set his heart on you even from your youth; yet how treacherously you dealt with him, and although he made some entrance into your heart, how your affections were drawn after other objects. The Lord held you in with bit and bridle, but it was not sufficient to keep your wandering heart; and this was the cause wherefore the Lord stripped you and set you as in the day that you were born (as it is said in Hosea 2). You lost your tenderness oftentimes by reason of the various temptations and trials that were suffered to overtake you, so that your profession was left just as when you were in your firstborn state. Yet here the Lord made you to feel your wilderness condition, and you were often slain with thirst after those things which you had had a taste of; but through the enmity of your heart, you as often cried, "I will go after my lovers." But the Lord in rich mercy manifested that his eyes were upon you, therefore he hedged up your way with thorns, that is, many mortifying circumstances, so that you could not find your paths. You made many vain attempts to escape out of the hands of the Lord, but he in mercy held you too fast, until he made you cry, "I will go and return to my first husband, for then it was better with me than now." You still were very dark, and could not understand that the Lord had claimed you for his own; but through the deceitfulness of your backsliding heart, you thought that you had full power to flourish in life as you pleased, and that the good things you possessed were at your own disposal; and in your wretched departing in heart from the Lord, you prepared them for Baal.
You can now see that the Lord in great mercy looked upon all this, and began marvelously to put in his claim both upon you and upon your corn and wine, that by his thus taking away in a measure what was his own, you should in the end be effectually taught this lesson: "You are not your own; you are bought with a price." I have no doubt but that as soon as the Lord began this dispensation, especially when his hand was laid upon the chief idol, there came on sore convictions how treacherously you had departed from him, and that these proved a maul upon those volatile spirits which loved to wander. I have no doubt but that in the midst of all this, you had intimations that though the Lord meant to check your proceedings, he did not mean utterly to destroy you. I think you have seen by those transient visits in all your afflictions that the Lord meant to allure you, and though you must be brought into the wilderness (for no other condition will make the Savior so suitable and so precious), yet there he would not forget you (this I know) but would speak friendly to your heart, for, as Isaiah says, "The wilderness and the solitary place shall be glad for them, the desert shall rejoice and blossom as the rose." In this wilderness, which lies in the valley of humiliation, a door of hope shall be opened, and you shall sing there more sweetly the songs of Zion, far exceeding all the songs of fools, which are no better than "the crackling of thorns under a pot".
In that day (the Lord says) "You shall call me Ishi," (that is, my Husband). O sweet words, when the Lord says to us, "I am married unto you!" And he will take away the very names of your idols out of your mouth and out of your heart; they shall no more be remembered, for, says the Lord, "I will betroth you unto me forever; yes, I will betroth you unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in loving-kindness, and in mercies." "In righteousness;" in all his dispensations, however bitter the enemy may represent them to the flesh, we shall be brought to feel from our hearts how wisely and righteously the Lord has dealt with us, to check that dreadful exuberance of independence of God. "In judgment;" in causing us to witness God's sensible displeasure in a broken law, against a poor, weak, dying mortal; however cutting to our feelings and sometimes terrifying, yet here the Lord makes us speechless, and brings us by his mercy to acknowledge his wisdom, and to declare, "I will bear the indignation of the Lord, because I have sinned against him." "In loving-kindness and in mercies;" how often have I been in my most terrible tribulations forced to cry out, O what loving-kindness and tender mercy! How you do overrule my calamities so as to break my heart under the feeling sense of your tenderness toward me! I am sure it is only of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed. This is the way the Lord also betroths us to himself "in faithfulness;" and by these terrible means assures our hearts he is determined to destroy the kingdom of Satan within us.
Then the Lord sums up all these things for our comfort in this manner: "It shall come to pass in that day, I will hear, says the Lord, I will hear the heavens, and they shall hear the earth; and the earth shall hear the corn, and the wine, and the oil . . . and I will have mercy upon her that had not obtained mercy; and I will say to them which were not my people, You are my people; and they shall say, You are my God" (Hosea 2:2-23).
Now, my dear friend, entreat the Lord for a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. Watch what are the continual sources of darkness and confusion on your mind, and let these be the continual subjects of your prayers. Beg especially for power to cast your cares and burdens upon the Lord; for bearing them yourself will not add one cubit to your spiritual stature. The enemy is unceasingly seeking to divert your mind from those things which he knows must prove the downfall of his kingdom in your heart. Ponder much upon what the Lord has done for you, and upon what he has so sweetly promised further to do. "To be spiritually minded is life and peace;" and so you will find it. I believe the Lord will be your refuge, but I perceive you, with the rest of us, must have a path of tribulation; and I think that beautiful chapter of Hosea has set it before you, but with the sweet assurance of a holy triumph.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 323
(To Mrs. A) Sutton Coldfield, 3 August 1845.
My dear Friend,
I can most sincerely sympathize with you respecting the various and innumerable perplexing providences that have followed you many years. I perceive you have been seeking relief in many ways, two of which, being the most dangerous, I shall name. One is self-pity, often feeling more the hardness of your lot, than the dreadful sin of your nature which has caused it. The other is because, in your journey from Jerusalem to Jericho, seeking for spiritual understanding, you have universally fallen among thieves, who have put out your eyes, that is, as the apostle calls them, "the eyes of your understanding". I could perceive throughout the whole of your conversation a keeping back part of the price in some secret hidden shape. There was certainly a reserve; you did not appear utterly lost, and as Hart says, until you are so, you cannot be perfectly saved. You are not yet aware of these your very dangerous places. Thousands perish with their heads teeming with what they call religion, and none so confident as these of their being perfectly right. I am afraid lest you should mistake that soft moving of your natural affections for repentance, or any part of the work of the Spirit; it is so common and so awful a delusion. You have some discernment to see that the fashionable evangelical preaching of the day will not carry you safely through the dark valley of the shadow of death; but sometimes I fear that the dissatisfaction you find in hearing does not arise from the false teaching, but from the universal natural disquietude which is peculiar to all who are under your present distressing circumstances. Many a so-called good profession is made of nothing better than this.
I cannot but feel it painful to write as I do to one who is already overwhelmed with sorrow, yet I feel persuaded if you possess one grain of the light of life, it will be no grief of heart to you that I should be thus faithful; for I must again add how much I was struck with your reserve. I do not mean the common acceptance of that word among men. I mean a spiritual withholding of your idols, and not letting them all and fully go. If you ask me, What idols? I shall think your case still worse that such a question should be thought needful; as I am sure if the Spirit of God has made you honest, he will also show you an abundance of these.
It is very evident you are greatly entangled in body, mind, and estate. If it be the Lord who has thus brought you into the gospel net, your mercy will be not to quarrel with his dispensations, but to beg for grace and mercy to fall under his mighty hand, and to leave human prudence quite out of the question as being very short of any help in divine things. Human prudence will not make use of the same language as the Savior, who tells us to take up our cross daily, to the end of our lives, and to follow him. You and I do not like to follow him in many places. This is a part of the reserve I hinted at before. If the Lord means to save you, you will find much more humbling than you have yet known. Outward humblings are often very terrible, but they are not to be compared to spiritual humblings, when the Lord discovers the foundation of our rotten hearts to the neck. This will bring us to "the belly of Hell", and here we shall learn to cry like Peter, without reserve, "Lord, save, or I perish!" It is my sincere desire that you may come to this saving knowledge, but oh, how much you have to learn! and, like a babe, to desire the sincere milk of the Word. It is my sincere desire that the Lord may guide you right to his heavenly kingdom.
From your faithful friend, James Bourne
Letter 324
Sutton Coldfield, 6 August 1845.
Dear Mrs. A.,
The apostle cautions us all to labor that we may enter into the promised rest; and the Savior is continually mentioning the necessity of spiritual diligence. Where this is wanting, we may expect a final fall. In how many ways do we secretly desire to skip over self-denial and taking up our cross; but however we may promise ourselves safety in avoiding these, we shall fare no better than the young man who went away from Christ sorrowful, because he would not deny himself and was not disposed to render spiritual obedience to God's Word. Our old affections are glued to created things, innumerable as the stars; and to put an under-valuation upon these objects is no small thing. To part with all that is dear to the flesh is hard work; and few can believe "He who finds his life shall lose it, and he who loses his life for my sake shall find it."
The gospel sets forth no pretended self-denial, nor any half coming out. It is a matter of woeful deception to be flattered into a half compliance, for this brings nothing but misery and the sorrow of the world which works death; and although we are apt to flatter ourselves with false hopes of escaping this cross and the other, the Lord has appointed but one way of our entering into the promised rest, and that is by spiritual obedience to his Word; and those who are kept halting in this wilderness world, between a name to live and real spiritual life, are of all men most miserable. It is no small matter to pluck out a right eye, or cut off a lame foot. Some half-hearted professors so tenderly cherish many things that God's Word cautions us to put off, that to touch those things is like touching the apple of their eye. Some will say, What am I to do if all goes? You will take away my gods; if I lose my love of self, and of the world in self, what have I left? True; nevertheless there is no entering into the promised rest until all these go. Men are faster bound in the strongholds of Satan than at first sight they are aware of, and in nothing is it more seen than in a spiritual determination to follow our own ways, because they suit us, rather than God's way, which cuts at the root of self in every direction; and what makes this worse and more dangerous is not feeling any guilt in so doing, nor any sense of Christ's love in sending his Word, but a secret contempt of it, which brings on a woeful and final separation from God.
Earnestly pray for spiritual obedience to God's Word. This will make the most unfruitful branch fruitful to God, because it always evidences that the Spirit of God is making the soul willing in the day of his power. It is his power that brings about a universal obedience, and sets aside all the reserves I named in my last. This is what I found provoked the world and worldly professors, and enraged them to utter and final separation from me. No excommunication of Jews or Papists could exceed the bitterness of that hatred that was manifested, as soon as it was discovered that the real and true fear of God was in my heart. They that will live godly must suffer this; but the Lord takes a sweet advantage of it, and tells us that when father and mother and all friends forsake us, then the Lord will take us up, and stand our Friend, and turn all these seeming evils into rich blessings. O how true I have found this! Through the merciful teaching of our God we learn obedience in all these places of adversity, especially that humility and self-abasement which the Lord delights in.
When we manifest spiritual union with Christ, we are no longer our own, and this we show by seeking the welfare of the church of God, and not our own carnal interests; and we grow up in Christ the living Head, not continuing with the understanding darkened and really alienated from a spiritual life through the ignorance that is in us. If ever you have been taught of Christ, you will understand all this. It will give me sincere pleasure to hear that your heart is set upon this conflict, and that though it cost you your little all, yet you find Christ to be more to you than all things else.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 325
(To the Rev. A. F.) Sutton Coldfield, August 1845.
My dear Sir,
I have often had you presented on my mind, and with many kind feelings have desired that you might be brought to a better and clearer knowledge of your interest in Christ's salvation. I have always thought those various conflicts described in the papers you sent to me must certainly be the beginning of a work of grace. I have watched and grieved to see the pains you have taken to drown them by carnal means. If they were of God you have this word still in your behalf, which Christ speaks of his sheep: "None shall pluck them out of my hands."
You, my friend, have met with many pluckers, and you have been too willing to comply with them; and have often quarreled with God because you could not more fully perform your enterprise. It appears as if the battle was not yet over, and that the Lord will not give up the contest; and that probably you will lose your life in the conflict. Nevertheless if it should be proved that there was but one spark of spiritual life in your first convictions (though many years ago) you and I are taught by the Word to understand that it is of an incorruptible nature, and must endure to eternal life. All your various backslidings, your shiftings of convictions, and your many voyages to Tarshish instead of obeying the Word of God, will now come crowding into your conscience, and will bring your spirit down with many acknowledgments of your foolishness and desperate proceedings, and show you how awfully you have departed from the little you had. Yet you will find, in the midst of all these despairing thoughts, that the Lord can bring you out of the iron furnace of the Egypt of this world, and make you a part of his inheritance. The Lord has left on record for our comfort that he will not break "a bruised reed" (Isaiah 42:3). Are you not this, weak as a reed, shaken with every wind of temptation, and bruised in conscience with shame and guilt, so that you scarcely dare look up for mercy, and yet seem to smite upon the breast as a token of a feeling sense of your utter ruin? The Lord has hemmed you in on every side; it is his design (if you belong to him) that you shall find no way of escape, whether you go to Cadiz or elsewhere. "Though there were of you cast out into the uttermost part of the Heaven, yet will I gather them from thence" (Nehemiah 1:9). "Where shall I go from your Spirit, or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend up into Heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Hell," the Hell of this world, "behold you are there," frowning most awfully and angrily upon me. "If I take the wings of the morning," and think youth and remaining vigor may relieve me, "even there shall your hand lead me," counteracting all my vain purposes; "and your right hand shall hold me," for no secret designs nor dark fleshly purposes can pluck you out of the hand of God (Psalm 139:7-10).
O my dear friend, much better and safer it would be for you to fall flat at the feet of Jesus as a conquered subdued foe, and tell him you have no further power left, and see if he will not prove to you a better Friend than you can ever find in any of the foreign physicians or climates. The oil and the wine he pours forth are both healing and strengthening. No natural medicine or climate can reach a wounded conscience. Our dear departed friend Mr. W. found the sweet effects of falling flat at the feet of our good Samaritan, who smiled upon him, comforted his wounded sin-sick soul, and made his painful deathbed the happiest place he knew on earth; and it is my sincere desire that you may find the same, and not look for temporal health more than spiritual.
Yours in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 326
(To Mr. T. S.) Sutton Coldfield, 24 August 1845.
My dear Friend,
We all have need of being stirred up. The apostle tells us that fellowship one with another is both needful and profitable. How little can we discern between truth and error, until the sword of the Spirit enters the conscience, and rends the caul of the heart! Then we perceive clearly there is nothing but evil within us, and that there is a mighty difference between the wretched darkness in which we are found in a state of nature, and the light of life. This light of life brings forward "the wood, hay, and stubble", in which we have been wrapping ourselves, and the fire of God's wrath in a broken law presently burns it up, and leaves all our false hopes without root or branch.
I never was in a more desolate place than this. All seem of one mind to keep the Savior and the true Word out of the town. This town is exactly the picture of my heart when the Lord first came to it; it was full of vanity, and had no room for God's Word, but it pleased God that I should hearken just to this one question, "Is it well with the child?" and I was made to answer, It is not well. This was the first impression I ever felt upon my heart, and it proved a check to many vanities. But I lost sight of this for a season; it was drowned in the vanities of youth. Then the Lord sent a louder word into my heart, in the way of affliction, which stopped my course, and made me to hearken; nor did he withhold his hand until he made me to cry, "God be merciful to me a sinner," and I could say with Samuel, "Speak, Lord, for your servant hears," for you have opened my ears to discipline. It was long before I understood what this discipline meant, and my rebellion brought on a great increase of trouble, for you must know that I was naturally high in conceit; but the Lord looked upon this as he once looked upon the host of the Egyptians, and set me completely fast in the mire of my sin, until I was obliged to loathe and abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes. What was very extraordinary was the light that sprang up in this low place, and the Word became profitable, though I knew not at first that the Lord was there. But I find this sort of teaching has led me to the brightest hopes, as well as to the most humiliating feelings of my abject condition. This, and this alone, is profitable to the afflicted people of God. It is not in vain written, "Through much tribulation you must enter the kingdom;" and we cannot so much as see where or what this spiritual kingdom is, unless we are tutored in the school of Christ.
I look back upon many of the deep places that the Lord has led me through, and I assure you it makes me to start with horror and amazement. O how clearly I see, if the Lord had not plucked me out as a brand more than half burnt, I must have perished forever! Sometimes I look at my friends and relations, and wonder how or why I should ever be brought out of that dreadful place of danger in which they remain with a sort of declaration that they are quite safe. How you saw it in the case of your brother, and how you must acknowledge the sovereignty of God! Two shall be in one bed of carnal security; one shall be taken and another left. "Nay but, O man, who are you that replies against God?" "Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?" May not the potter, whose power is in his own hands, form one vessel unto honor and another unto dishonor? O how narrow the escape seems to me at times, and how base I at times feel myself for murmuring, when I know that the cross and the crown are so closely united! What manner of persons ought you and I to be who are called with so holy a calling!
My labors here are very arduous, and when I find not the Lord's especial help I sink amain, and can never feel reconciled until the Lord lifts up the light of his countenance upon me.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 327
Sutton Coldfield, 25 August 1845.
Dear Mrs. B.
I have seen your letter to your sister M., and have found it very comforting and encouraging. I know of none in a more difficult situation than yourself, having to maintain that spiritual circumspection which is spoken of in Scripture, and which is so needful for us all, because it is said the days are evil. It appears that the Lord has been long training you; and that you have not been altogether suffered to turn a deaf ear. It is our mercy that the Lord will work, and none shall let it (Isaiah 43:13). I have had many lets in my way, and should have been utterly overpowered if the Lord had not stretched forth his almighty arm. It was this that so effectually wrought as to make my heart tremble at his Word, and in the furnace of affliction to cry bitterly to him, that he would not leave me to myself, nor under the influence of ignorance and pride where ten thousands of hypocrites perish full of false religion. Nothing shows the work to be real more than the very difficult places in which it pleases God oftentimes to put his people. I have been almost perpetually in trials of this sort, and have often been ready to give up my hope, thinking myself forsaken of God and man; but not so. Most faithful and pitiful has the Lord been to me, and has shown me that his purpose in these various exercises has been to discover the exceeding sinfulness of sin, and more of his holiness and majesty.
How often have I felt from the bottom of my heart a clear perception that God will not be mocked. The sight of this has been much deeper than I can express. I have seen many suffer much inconvenience from their profession of religion who yet never had their hearts changed, and whose conversation was disgraceful. I have lived to see such make an awful end, and therefore tremble at the discoveries which are made within, and are forced to have recourse to the many visits I have had from the Lord in times that are past, and to labor in spirit that if possible these visits may be continually repeated. I therefore like your calling to mind the various seasons wherein the Lord has appeared for you; this is often the subject of my meditations when I am cast down, and I say to myself, Can all these things go for nothing? Surely they must have been the work of God; and this clearing has proved to be like Jacob's wrestling, when he would not let the Lord go; and I have often found in the end that the Lord has owned his own work, and has said, "Let no man take your crown."
I have perceived many in long afflictions and desertions grow cold, and like Samson they have suffered the lock of their strength to be cut off, and then their weakness and instability have been seen in all their movements; and instead of seeking to have this redressed, they have spent their time in endeavoring to prove something was genuine which they had received many years before. This is a certain sign of decay, and a miserable, foolish, and vain way of seeking to be restored. It brings no glory to God, nor proclaims that wonderful name which he has sent forth among his people as "merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth"; but it rather proclaims that he is a hard Master, reaping where he has not sown. It is a state in which we are exposed to all temptations, and often become a prey to the enemy, and in some secret way dishonor God, his gospel, and his cause.
The Word of God comes very close; after telling us many things, it says, (Hebrews 4) "Let us therefore fear, lest a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it", which we most assuredly shall do if we put not a weighty importance upon that spiritual obedience which the Lord sets forth in his Word. Many are charged, not with not hearing the Word, but with not mixing faith with what they profess to hear. I have no need to tell my friend that the words she names in various parts of her letter are so many tokens of the Lord's design and favor towards her; but there seems a peculiar attention claimed, that you should understand that the words do not refer only to the time when spoken, but are as a rule and guide for a course of spiritual exercise to the end of life, and that they mean, "Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it." You know we read of many that sought, after a manner, to enter into the promised rest, but fell short of it, and were cut off in the wilderness. This was written for our learning, not to show us that we may be right today and wrong tomorrow, but to show us that there is a way of seeking which is not according to God's order, and those who seek in that way fall short.
It is my desire that you and I may have a spiritual understanding given us in this day of universal profession, but most awful departure from the simplicity of the truth; that we may never stop short of the real testimony which Paul speaks of: "The Spirit itself bears witness with our spirit that we are the children of God." I was wondering yesterday to see how soon those words are followed up with, "If so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together." It showed me that sanctified affliction of every sort is the beaten road to all our best evidences; and the apostle further says, "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or peril, or sword? Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us." So that "the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ" carries us above all the hindrances and difficulties that can be met with in life. It is no small matter that you should be called out of darkness into this marvelous light. It is indeed a marvelous light and cannot be too tenderly cherished, for all that are destitute of this marvelous light are reserved unto everlasting darkness.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 328
(To the Rev. R. M.) Sutton Coldfield, 2 September 1845.
My dear Friend,
Your letter of yesterday brought to my mind the many sorrows and conflicts which my sins had deserved, but out of which the Lord has delivered me. I do not expect that the innumerable conflicts and conquests that are past are to assure me that the bitterness of many more that are to come is past, because I am told that this captivity is for "seventy years". Your mercy and mine is to hearken to what the Lord will say to us under all these trying circumstances; and when death is found in the pot, to seek with double earnestness that the leaves of the Tree of Life may be put in to heal it of its poison; and that we may find, instead of murmuring, sweet submission, and the profiting which the Lord has promised.
The apostle, after recounting many trials, cried out, "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?" You and I are apt and ready to believe that our afflictions are sent for that express purpose. Not so; "Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us." It is said of Peter, that he, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me;" and immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand. This it is that stops the power of the devil, who is always seeking to work upon our unbelief, and to dissolve the union between Christ and our soul. But "who shall separate us from the love of Christ?" When he is present we think nothing can, but under the power of temptation it is surprising how our weakness is discovered. When we are covered with a cloud, and, as to our feelings, the Lord is departed, then the messengers of Job have a deadly weight upon our spirit. But even here I have found the secret power of God working patience, and at length showing me the efficacy of his rich grace and mercy to afflicted sinners; for by these various depths of misery are pressed out many groaning petitions, which we perceive in the end to be by the Holy Spirit helping our infirmities, and making intercession for us, "with groanings which cannot be uttered" (Romans 8).
The fruit of these desperate trials is a fragrance unto the Lord, as set forth in Exodus 30:34-38:And whoever attempts this in the flesh "shall be cut off". Then who is it who is to manifest these sweet graces of the Spirit, that they may flow out to the glory of God, and the profit of the church? Poor afflicted, broken-hearted, sorrowing sinners, who find no rest in this polluted world. These, beaten together with the rod of affliction, send forth a fragrance that is not known by the carnal professor, nor by any that are at ease in Zion. That divine oil which is poured forth upon such afflicted ones makes them to stand their ground in affliction, and to glorify God in setting forth his love and power to save to the uttermost the most distressed souls that come in their great weakness to him for help. "When you pass through the waters I will be with you." You and I have continually found the truth of this; our souls have never prospered more than in these deep waters; and instead of being overthrown, we have, by the mercy of God, gained brighter evidences of the Lord's power than ever; only there is something in us which shudders at the cross, it is so galling to the flesh. But it never happens that men fall away with sanctified afflictions upon them; the first step is generally taken when the rod of God has been spared, and they are left to a little outward prosperity, under which secret prayer is withheld, through a secret feeling of no great necessity. Sanctified afflictions are to be preferred to this carnal security. The Savior asks, "Could you not watch with me one hour?"
My dear friend, none of your daily crosses and miseries can harm you, while you are enabled to carry them to the Lord. That secret mysterious indwelling of the Father, the Son, and the Spirit, spoken of in John 17, is the source of all spiritual prosperity and happiness. And that our hearts are made that dwelling-place we know by the spiritual life which is maintained in all our worst afflictions; and when we are so cast down that we can scarcely believe this truth, our mercy is to pray, "Lord, I believe; help you mine unbelief." No doubt your often infirmities bring on many fears respecting the finishing of your course. I am daily exercised with the like; but the apostle says that neither life nor death shall separate us from Christ's love. I have many ponderings about this, and I often come to the conclusion that if Christ's love is manifest in my heart at the time, I know that it is strong as death, and therefore pray that it may then abound; and something says, Then take heed, and grieve not his Spirit now. "If you, through the Spirit, mortify the deeds of the body, you shall live."
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 329
(To the Rev. W. Maddy) Sutton Coldfield, September 1845.
My dear Friend,
I must acknowledge that I think myself more subject to changes than any man, and when I get a little comfort I cannot keep it. I feel myself more brutish than any man, and have more need of the rod than others. This is often a source of great grief to me, and I sometimes fear lest I should be taken off in some of these dark places. It is on these accounts I feel myself so unfit for teaching. Indeed I should be of all men most miserable, if I could not prevail on the Lord to comfort me now and then with his presence. Were it not so, I must needs conclude that the Lord had something against me, and I think I could not rest in my bed if that something were not confessed and put off, that I might obtain some token of mercy, some prospect of hope that the Lord had not quite finally forsaken me, which I am sure I should fear to be the case if he should answer me no more. It is the returning of the Lord's favor that keeps me from quite sinking.
I seem to have but little to comfort me here, yet the Lord knows how needful it is to keep me in a low place, I am so foolish, and so easily carried away. I sometimes think that the Lord condescends to bring some food out of these evil places by showing me the good of diligent seeking, and so causing me to set before the people the safety of committing the worst of cases into his hands; and how he never sends such empty away.
It is my sincere desire that you may be able to relinquish all labor in the flesh, and that you may perceive the still small voice of the Spirit in you, interceding and prevailing above all the foolish toil of a legal spirit.
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 330
Sutton Coldfield, 14 September 1845.
Dear Mrs. A.
As I said at the first, so I sincerely repeat, I can truly sympathize with you in all your troubles which I am sure must be doubly great while you seem to get so little relief from the Lord. It is not in my power in any ways to communicate that light of life, which must first manifest itself in you before you can find your way to the "city of habitation". The point I now wish to hint at is your exceeding readiness to part with all, and that for nothing. You do not seem to get anything in return, not even a kind look or a kind word, from the Lord. The Word tells us that the giving up of what you name is to be for Christ; but you seem to relinquish all without obtaining Christ. The Word says, Seek first your interest in Christ and his salvation, and that will so fill your heart with his love that the needful giving up will be pleasant. Surely I can readily give up a sovereign, if a person gives me a hundred pounds for so doing; but you appear to have mistaken the point, and through your want of spiritual teaching, seem to carry the sovereign in your hand; and say, Look what I now present! where is the hundred I have heard of for so doing? This in Scripture is called the price of a fool (Proverbs 17:16); and in other parts of Scripture is set forth as a most dangerous legal spirit that fights against the free sovereign grace of God.
I am sure you are aware that I am not able to put all this to rights; nor can I at present see that you discern your mistake; but when the true light shines, you will see and feel all spiritual matters in a very different way. The light of the true gospel has shone upon you, but the darkness in you has not comprehended it. Before I was a partaker of this light, I used to wonder what the people of God meant by that secret teaching they spoke of, and what they meant by the difference between us; for I thought I knew all, until this true light shone. Then the awful discovery was made of my wretched darkness and confusion; and all my false pretensions, of which I had a great many, not only appeared empty, but it seemed to me as if, for all my fine religion, there could be no hope nor pardon for me. If Mr. — were brought unto this place, we should not hear of his not having had a doubt for fourteen years. If our dear friend, your neighbor, were well immersed in these troubles, they would not work that sorrow of the world which is too much the case with him under his present trials. If the true light were to shine into your heart, the darkness would pass away. It is this darkness which blinds the eyes, so that sometimes men think themselves in the brightest light in the midst of midnight darkness. The Savior cautions us (Matthew 5) to take heed lest the light that is in us be of that sort. The Savior further tells us (John 3) that "this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil." Hence they so hate light as to be offended with those who set it forth, because the evil heart of unbelief resists the light that makes such a sad discovery of enmity, pride, and self-will; and their anger is moved against all who insist upon the straitness of the gate that the Savior speaks of.
May the Lord open the eyes of your understanding to discern between truth and error, and light and darkness; and grant (if consistent with his blessed will) that the true light may shine savingly into your heart. My last letter you have not yet comprehended in the least, for want of that true light.
Yours faithfully in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 331
Sutton Coldfield, 17 September 1845.
My dear Wife,
The daily discovery of my sin drinks up my spirit, and often fills my soul with fears. If the Lord should come and say, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock," I feel alarmed lest I should not be ready and willing immediately to open to my Beloved. I have no small cause to open to him, but something in the flesh feels appalled. I know that love is strong as death, but in my present conflicts, I often find that I am long under a cloud, and though now and then a clear bright ray of sunshine comes, yet it is soon obscured by the artifice of the devil in some way or other. I desire not outward prosperity, but I earnestly covet those durable riches that will bring about sunshine in the dark valley of the shadow of death. You and I are on the verge, and we had need to know what are our testimonials that we shall pass safely through. If we profess to be partakers of the Spirit, we must also walk in the Spirit, that is, keep up communion with the Lord Jesus Christ, before we reach this dark valley; then we shall find the sweet privilege of leaning upon our Beloved when heart and flesh both fail.
If we sink under the weight of the cares of this life, we must acknowledge it is because we do not cast our cares upon the Lord, who so tenderly invites us to it. This proves that we have not access to the Father, through his well-beloved Son, which is the fundamental cause of all worldly sorrow, and in the end brings on despair. This is what I dread most of all, and it makes me very anxious to have repeated visits from the Lord; for his visits are so soon disputed, and we so prone to unbelief, that we presently lose sight of the brightest evidences that ever the Lord gives, if they are not repeated again and again. Besides this, there can be no spiritual life maintained in the soul but by repeated changes. However painful these changes are, or however sorrowful they make me, yet I perceive they are very humbling in their effects, and make me perpetually to feel how helpless I am in myself, and how dependent upon the Lord for all things. I am made to feel the Savior's words, "Without me you can do nothing." I am sure I cannot face death without him, nor do I desire to be found anywhere, or in anything, without him. He surely is all and in all to me, and the entire strength of my life.
I should be happy to persuade some of the people here of this truth, but the love of the world and other things entirely bar out all fellowship with a crucified Savior. They are for the most part quite settled upon that dangerous gulf, salvation by the works of the law. They have no objection to great black crosses upon the outside of their prayer-books, but they despise the thoughts of a crucified Savior.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 332
London, 11 November 1845.
Dear Mr. Yeomans,
I ought to have written to you before this, but have been prevented by many things. Though I have left Sutton, I have not left behind me there the charge of the people. I have cause to be thankful that the Lord has put it into the heart of one of my hearers at Maney to keep up the meeting at his house, I sending sermons for him to read. You know it was said that there was no room for the Savior anywhere but in the stable; but at Sutton they cannot find even a stable for him, so desperately are they afraid of his having any rule in their hearts. I fear that some there are on the eve of heavy work, for surely it will be seen that the Lord resents the dishonor paid to his Word under the pretense of a regard for religion.
I often think, if such had ever known the despairing feelings that overtake me in the night, they would make a short cut, and cry out, "Sirs, what shall I do to be saved?" For I am often obliged to cry, "Lord, save, or I perish," and am brought into such fearful places as to lose sight of everything, and to fear my latter end will be that of a fool. O how earnest this makes me at times, and how watchful to see whether the Lord will look kindly on me; and if I get the least softening sensation, I am satisfied the Lord has purposes of mercy towards me, and this encourages me to look for some further and more especial token of his love, such as, "Is Ephraim my dear son? is he a pleasant child? for since I spoke against him I do earnestly remember him still; therefore my affections are troubled for him." Nothing works tenderness in my heart so much as this; it is with holy awe and reverence I receive these renewed tokens of the Lord's favor; and when he is hidden in a cloud, the very thought of his judgments drinks up my spirit.
O how I am made to feel that no trifler will stand his ground in a slight profession, but it must in the end prove a lamp without oil! I hope never to forget the time when the Lord showed me that the smoking furnace and the burning lamp went together (Genesis 15:17). A state of ease will always bring on spiritual death in the soul. But such is the mercy of our God, and his infinite wisdom too, that when he purposes to make our lamp burn bright, he suffers us to fall into heavy furnace-work; and as he accompanied the children of Israel into the furnace in Daniel's days, so he never leaves us, but like a careful refiner, sits over and watches that no evil befall us, and that nothing be lost but dross. Much of the goodness, mercy, and faithfulness of God shall be seen in his taking this method of brightening our evidences, lowering our lofty thoughts, and fitting us for use in his body mystical. O how many towering and vain imaginations has the Lord cut down in me! How I intended to be somebody, but the Lord in mercy intended something else, and has often made me to abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes!
The discoveries I often have now are most frightful and humbling, and leave me nothing to say but it is of the Lord's mercies that I am not consumed. I know of nothing that turns all my loveliness to corruption so soon as a discovery, by the Spirit, of God's holiness; and if I cannot attain to a sensible and feeling sense of my interest in Christ's righteousness, I sink. But sometimes I find such a sweet reviving view of this as makes me to feel that I am before God without spot or wrinkle or any such thing; and this creates a cheering hope that my religion is a reality, and that I shall most assuredly be found among the worthies around the throne, singing, "Worthy is the lamb that was slain."
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 333
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) London, 14 November 1845.
My dear Friend,
What could you have known of a hard heart, if you had not felt it? and surely it is light that makes manifest. It would have been truly awful for you to have remained ignorant of that hardness of heart and of that fainting which all the people of God are brought to feel, and under which they sorely sink. What need of help, if not under such distressing circumstances? Christ came not to save saints, but sensible sinners; and Paul says, "of whom I am chief." He did not say this merely as a saying, but was made to feel it, and so am I. It is the Spirit of God alone who discovers to us all these dreadful evils that drink up our spirits, and leave us in a most forlorn condition, that we may be led to come to Christ with a heart-rending feeling of want. This enhances his all-sufficiency, and magnifies the riches of his sovereign grace, when it reaches such a desolate destitute heart as we are made to feel we possess.
What use are we in the body mystical while ignorant of ourselves and of Christ's saving power? And we are of as little use if we only have the notion of these truths in our heads. But if we come to understand the divine power of them, it must be only in the refining furnace of affliction; by being brought down, like Jonah, into the belly of Hell, and feeling the reality of God's displeasure against the sin of our nature, and being here taught to cry vehemently, "Lord, save, or I perish." What excites this cry, but a fearful apprehension of real danger, and a shame which covers us all the day long at the discovery of our sin, like a thief that is caught? God will have no independence in his body mystical. He will humble us all, and make us fully understand what it is to be nothing; poor, ignorant, foolish creatures; and that he will by such nothings bring down many a fool who thinks himself something. He makes us weak and foolish and like little children, and then sets us to teach the wise, the prudent, and the strong; and by such foolish means confounds the wisdom of the wise, and gets all the glory to himself.
This is, I believe, what he is doing with you. I sincerely hope you will be found to be a very sober, watchful scholar. How many things, that I never before laid to heart, has the Lord secretly taught me in my public ministrations; things that appeared indifferent and trifles in themselves, but such as the Lord would have me lay to heart, because it was his will. I have found the deep necessity of this in my spirit, my language, and my manner; in all things to show myself to be the servant of his people, and his most willing servant. In how many ways I have brought myself into affliction, and my attention has been closely called to it, that I might know first the cause; next the manner of entering into the furnace; then my spirit under it; then the way the Lord opened for my deliverance; and the promised profiting afterwards. To all this I have found that the Lord designed to claim my peculiar attention, that I might be more clearly at a point how to set before the afflicted people of God that path of tribulation which leads to eternal life.
You are now in the school of adversity, and my advice is, Lose not your opportunity, but cleave close to the Lord in the midst of everything that may appear disheartening, and your bondage will bring liberty to your hearers. No doubt your present casting down creates a tenfold greater tenderness than when there has been no such heavy cloud hanging over you. I believe that if — and many more were plagued every morning and chastened every night, they would not find so many followers; nor such easy traveling with those heavy loads upon their backs; nor would they find unity with so many different parties.
Mr. Burrell is full of anguish with the affliction of his house, and his health seems also at a low ebb. Under the weight of these things his ministry is very profitable, and full of caution against all trifling profession, setting forth the certainty of a path of tribulation. The trouble in his family makes me to tremble, for I know not what a day may bring forth, but he is constantly saying there is no help for any of us but in putting our mouth in the dust.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 334
Hertford, 26 November 1845.
Dear Mrs. Rose,
My heart is often ruminating upon the cause of God at Sutton, and upon you and the rest of your family at Maney. I sometimes feel disheartened, because the people are so benighted; yet when I think of the manner in which I was exercised before I went, as well as the sweet power I often felt upon my heart while speaking to them, I cannot but hope that the Lord has a people among you, though buried in the ruins of the fall. Neither you nor I can persuade them of their danger; but when the Lord begins, none shall let.
It is a great mercy that the Lord has opened your hearts to receive the truth, when so many resist it to the uttermost, with the firm belief that they know better, though they hold a lie in their right hand. None but the Spirit of truth, who has promised to guide us into all truth, can convince us of our danger, and make us stand out against so many fair pretenders. I often find it hard to believe that the Lord has especially separated me from that dreadful herd of false professors, for Satan represents them as so holy and so good, and myself so miserable and so bad, that I am ready to say, Surely I am the one that is under the dreadful mistake. But when the Lord comes and shows me that it is the discovery of these evils within which makes it manifest that he has really begun the work, and that this is the first step to the fountain open for sin and impurity, then the eyes of my understanding begin to open; and I perceive that, for want of this teaching, professors make a great show of piety, but never feel their need of Christ crucified, that is, of the powerful application of the atonement to their wounded consciences by the Holy Spirit. Therefore they rest in the outward form, and pass for very pious persons. I am obliged to confess to you that daily discoveries of my corrupt heart force me to look for a better help than any outward form can afford. O how deplorably lost I am made to feel myself, and how I am obliged to cry with the Psalmist, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me;" and until I find this new creation really established in my heart, all the forms and appearances of religion avail me nothing.
If we are made honest we must expect to fare as the Savior did, and be hated of all men. But cheer up, my friends, and bear the daily cross; for surely the Lord has provided a rich inheritance for all those who hope in his mercy, and I well know this hope has often abounded in your heart, and though sorely tried, and often beclouded, yet it rises again and again, and will rise through all trials and difficulties, until it be swallowed up of eternal life.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 335
London, December 1845.
Dear Mrs. W.,
I see no ground for alarm where there is attention paid to the voice of the Lord. I have always felt that he kindly and gently carries on his operations, so that where we judge ourselves we escape the judgment of the Lord (1 Corinthians 11:31). The voice at first is often very secret, that we may be on the alert and not asleep. Habakkuk says, "I will stand upon my watch, and set me upon the tower, and will watch to see what he will say unto me." Here is attention. This is all that is required. It is often repeated in Isaiah, "Hearken unto me;" and in one place it is said, "O that you had hearkened to my commandments!" But when these things are passed over, or lost through a bustling spirit, then comes a louder voice with some admonition; and the mercy of the Lord is seen in his more powerfully claiming our attention with some warning, as if he said, "What, could you not watch with me one hour?" (Matthew 26:40-45).
This gentle reproof cuts deep into a tender conscience. If we fall here in repentance, shame, and humiliation, then the Lord says, "Surely I have heard Ephraim bemoaning himself thus, Turn you me, and I shall be turned." And the answer from the Lord is, "Is Ephraim my dear son? is he a pleasant child? for since I spoke against him, I do earnestly remember him still." But that is a sharp word, "Sleep on now, and take your rest;" as if the Lord said, I shall be presently betrayed, and you will forsake me.
These things are written for us not to despair, but to marvel at the rich provision the Lord has made in his Word for our relief; and instead of being cast down, you have great cause to rejoice at the kind and tender care of that Husband to whom you are "betrothed forever" (Hosea 2:19). Remember what the Lord says to his bride: "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." I am bound to "keep you in all places wherever you go" (Genesis 28:15; Heb 13:5).
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 336
London, 30 January 1846.
Dear Mrs. W.,
I am sincerely glad to hear that your spiritual courage does not fail in your present time of need. The devil has no small hand in forwarding our fears in these perilous places, and we cannot all at once call to mind that the Lion of the tribe of Judah has all power in Heaven above and on earth beneath, to bruise our deadly enemy under our feet. It is indeed the Spirit of God himself that helps our infirmities to wrestle for wisdom and a feeling sense of the Lord's protecting care. I cannot help looking at the wisdom of God in timing this affliction. What holy awe it must produce, and what tenderness and watchful care not to grieve the Holy Spirit, but to retain him in a lively manner in your heart and affections, to give you courage under your new circumstances, and thus approve yourself a good soldier of Jesus Christ! You have no need to repine at the means which keep you constantly seeking for help from the Lord, and bring about an acceptance of God's Word and of his rod, and teach you to stoop very low before him.
When the Lord draws near in tenderness, working much contrition in the heart, it fills us with such an unspeakable cleaving to him as is more precious than we can possibly describe. Now if through carelessness we do not cherish his love with holy reverence, but lose sight of these sweet feelings (as I have often done to my shame) it is sure to be brought against us in time of affliction; and when we seek for our Beloved, he will for a season resent our unkindness, as in Song 5:6, 7, "I opened to my Beloved, but my Beloved had withdrawn himself, and was gone; my soul failed when he spoke; I sought him but I could not find him, I called him, but he gave me no answer. The watchmen that went about the city found me; they smote me, they wounded me; the keepers of the walls took away my veil from me." Yet presently we hear, "I am my Beloved's, and my Beloved is mine." After that sharp conviction and keen feeling of his absence, how sweet is the returning mercy expressed in the next chapter! How it puts off all drowsiness, and gives fresh vigor to the soul under the heaviest afflictions!
The Lord has come to your house, and is dealing both with you and with your little maid, and you both do well to have your eyes, and ears, and hearts open to all that passes, and to remember, "Them that honor me I will honor." The Lord never puts his people into the furnace, but he has some special favor to bestow. Be sure you both watch this, and see that you are not as fools brayed among wheat in a mortar, but that you have a double and sweeter and brighter evidence that you are his wheat. While here on earth there will be a perpetual propensity to backslide, on account of which the Lord makes a rich supply in his Word, and tells us that all fullness is treasured up in Christ Jesus for us to regain our strength. Therefore the apostle says, "Let us come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." The Lord's complaint against us is not only for our backslidings, but for our neglecting the provision he has made in his Word for our continual restoration. It is called "a fountain open", always open; but we retain our guilt like that which is lame, and do not come to be healed. Your present affliction is no doubt to remove slothfulness from your spirits, and formality from your prayers. The Lord intends that nothing shall be of any service but a downright earnest application to him for his especial help; and I am most sincerely happy to hear that this has not been in vain, but that the Lord has put into your trembling heart a divine courage which neither men nor devils can damp. Only mind, it is only under the shadow of his wings that this courage will be maintained and kept up.
It was with tears of delight and great awe that I heard of your little maid's troubled mind, and the Savior so mercifully coming to her relief. What a sweet and heavenly token of the blessing of God for you both, in all the measures you have lately taken! How these things will consecrate your dwelling, and make it none other than the house of God, none other than the gate of Heaven! It delights and comforts my heart to see how the Lord owns this as his work, and that neither I, your aged friend, nor you, nor your little maid, have been following cunningly-devised fables. The Lord bless you both abundantly, and give you tenfold more of his love, and that the heavenly dew may so rest and abide upon your branches that you may be kept exceedingly tender of his honor, and be always aware of the craft of the devil, whose determination to injure never ceases. "I will pursue," he says, "I will overtake, I will divide the spoil; my lust shall be satisfied upon them; I will draw my sword, my hand shall destroy them." But, O my dear friends, the Lord, the Holy Spirit, breathes a soft wind into our hearts, which leaves no room for such desperate attacks to prevail. Under his sweet influence, all enemies sink in the mighty waters, and become as still as a stone (Exodus 15:9-16).
From your faithful friend and companion in tribulation, James Bourne
Letter 337
London, 20 February 1846.
Dear Mrs. Clark,
What you say respecting Psalm 9 is very true; and if I had not found the same I must have utterly despaired. I have found also (as the same psalm says) that "the Lord has prepared his throne for judgment" in my own conscience, and that he has many times judged the world in my heart. I have been made to acknowledge his righteousness, but he has mingled mercy with all his judgments, and according to his promise has proved a refuge for me in all my oppressions and troubles. Here I learned his name, as merciful and gracious, and abundant in goodness and truth. They that know this name, in the sweet enjoyment of it, "will put their trust in him", and be greatly surprised to find that he will never leave them nor forsake them.
It is further said in that psalm, "When he makes inquisition for blood, he remembers them." This is a very precious consideration, for that time is one of the deepest alarm, and brings us the nearest to what the Lord describes in his agony, so that we are ready to say with him, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" This does indeed empty us from vessel to vessel, and excites a mournful cry, which seems to border on final despair. I hope I shall never lose sight of the awe and holy reverence which this has left upon my spirit, which burns up all levity, and humbles the sinner in the dust. Yet here I perceived that the Lord did not forget the groaning of the prisoner, but called it "the cry of the humble", and told me that I should not be forgotten of him. It is this that excites me to desire exceedingly with the Psalmist "that I may show forth all your praise in the gates of the daughter of Zion".
I most sincerely desire that you may be heartened under all your troubles, and may find that what the Lord has done for me is also accomplished in you: "Hitherto has the Lord helped us." Tell your children not to be alarmed at the path of tribulation, but to learn of the Lord by prayer to endure hardness as good soldiers. Tell E. and A. not to stop short, but to press through the strait gate. Say to them, Let the word of Christ dwell richly in you; get the testimony of the Lord, which alone will stand in the trying hour, that the name of Christ may be glorified in you; for we are called by the gospel "to the obtaining of the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ" (2 Thessalonians 1:12; 2:14).
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 338
London, 4 March 1846.
Dear Mrs. Rose,
I am truly sorry to hear that you are ill, but the Lord's wisdom must not be disputed by us.
The Savior said to his disciples, "If you were of the world, the world would love his own; but because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hates you." Satan being disappointed of his intended purpose against both Christ, our living Head, and us, Christ's chosen members, seeks as far as he can to distress us, and will never rest until he robs us, as quickly as possible, of all our hopes and comforts which the Lord sends for our daily relief. It is this that often makes our hearts and the world a wilderness; but God has in rich mercy made for us a provision in this wilderness, in the bosom of his everlasting love to us in Christ Jesus. We are chased by all sorts of enemies, and especially by pretenders, who would give us neither lodging nor meat; but God prepares a place for us (Rev. 12:6). At present the place that he has prepared for you seems a place of trial, and at times very like a wilderness to you; but the Lord has made a rich provision for such a condition: "The wilderness and the solitary place shall be glad for them, and the desert shall rejoice, and blossom as the rose. It shall blossom abundantly, and rejoice even with joy and singing." Here shall you see the glory of the Lord, the excellent wisdom, righteousness, and loving-kindness of our God. I know you feel the truth of all this when the Lord comes and shines into your heart, and tells you he is gone to prepare a place for you; "and if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself, that where I am, there you may be also." Ah, say you, while this lasts I have no fear. True; the Lord has made a rich provision for this also. "Strengthen you the weak hands," that cannot hold fast the sweet provision he sends, "and confirm the feeble knees," which means our conscious feeling that unbelief renders our prayers feeble. Therefore an example is left on record for such to pray, "Lord, I believe; help you mine unbelief" (Isaiah 35; John 14 etc.).
I know by experience that these various exercises make deep work in the heart, and by them the Lord teaches us to discern the truth, in the power and love of it, from a vain and foolish profession that seems to know nothing but I believe Christ died for all men, and I believe we all have a will to choose for ourselves, and many more such things. But the furnace which the Lord has been pleased to prepare for you has brought you to a pure language, and to feel how dreadfully lost and helpless you are without a sweet revelation of God's love to you in Christ Jesus, to the praise of his grace, not of ours. In Christ "we have redemption through his blood". Thus he opens the eyes of our understanding "to know what is the hope of his calling"; and that hope is often uppermost in your heart, and proves "an anchor of the soul both sure and steadfast", keeping your heart steady in all the deep waters in which you are exercised. It comes to you sometimes when you appear to be at the lowest ebb, that you may perceive your weakness is no hindrance to the entrance of his exceeding great power, which at once controls all the waves of sorrow and fear. (Ephesians 1; Hebrews 6).
Tell your husband it has pleased God to honor him with the sight of this mighty work upon his dear wife, that he may mark, learn, and inwardly digest the heavenly power and rich efficacy of the Lord's abundant grace in the time of weakness and trouble. I most sincerely pray that he and the rest of the family may profit by this righteous dispensation, for assuredly it is intended for good, and so shall we all see and acknowledge. My kind regards to you all. Hoping the Lord will yet clear the way for us to meet, I will wait the event of another letter from your brother. In the meantime I remain,
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 339
(To C. B.) Sutton Coldfield, 30 March 1846.
Dear C.,
If you were not troubled in mind, and heavily laden with it, no prayer would be put up, nor would there be upon your spirit any awe of God's holiness and majesty. If you read in the Gospels you will find most of those poor creatures were sorely afflicted, who cried to the Lord and were healed. I told you not long since that if God is for you, and will turn unto you, you must expect to be tilled (Ezekiel 36:9). Some lands require paring and burning, and ploughing into deep furrows, that the incorruptible seed of God's Word may not only be sown, but bring forth fruit unto eternal life. I cannot tell you how many despairing thoughts and feelings I have had, even since I have been here; I am sure the Lord has suffered them that I may be kept in a low place, and never lose sight of the straitness of the gate which leads to life, and that I may be able to show to other poor troubled sinners that their keen sensibility of sin is of the Spirit of God. If this sharp work which I call tilling did not go on, there would be nothing but thistles, briers, and thorns.
Bishop Cowper remarks that no vessel can be made of gold and silver without fire; no more can you or I be made vessels of honor, without passing through the various exercises which you set forth in your letter. The world fear not God because they have no changes. If you watch, you will perceive that those who have not these keen feelings of God's anger get into a sort of security even under the word; and though in some measure aware of it, yet not being roused by cutting convictions, their prayers and groans are feeble, and one day drives on after another without any clear relief. This is greatly to be dreaded; we had better have sharp work, and the reviving cordial of hope coming every now and then to assure our hearts that God is not far off, if haply we feel after him. Therefore I would have you not to be too much disheartened, but to come (as I am sure I do) with a great feeling of not receiving, yet against this entreating hard that the Lord would help and show compassion; and yesterday I told the people that in so coming I could not help saying, Lord, who would have thought that you were so near! You know that this is what breaks the heart into contrition, and the broken and contrite heart God will not despise.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 340
Sutton Coldfield, 2 April 1846.
Dear Mrs. F.,
It is as natural for the soul to fear death as for the body to fear pain. All the forces of the enemy are combined in that one circumstance, the fear of death; and yet there is something else that seems to be more hard to bear, and that is a wounded spirit. It is therefore our mercy to inquire what will heal that deadly wound, and where the remedy may be found. But with the prophet we cry out, "When I would comfort myself against sorrow, my heart is faint in me." Yet there is a secret proposal made to our hearts, and perhaps we may to our sorrow be neglectful of that still small voice that whispers, "Is there no balm in Gilead? is there no physician there?" (Jeremiah 8:18-22). You and I are often obliged upon such kind intimations to acknowledge we had forgotten it, and have been ready to say with one of old, "Are not Abana and Pharpar, rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel?" We find it a very common thing to try all means but the right; yet the longsuffering of God is wonderfully manifested in that he does not allow us to choose our own inheritance, but suffers both body and soul to be borne down with grief and fear, and then shows us his loving face of compassion and mercy.
Some may say they never saw nor heard anything from God. True; the natural man understands not the things of the Spirit, nor what is meant by the voice of God; but Christ said, "When the Comforter is come, whom I will send unto you from the Father, even the Spirit of truth which proceeds from the Father, he shall testify of me." This is the voice from Heaven that opens the eyes of our understanding, to know the hope of his calling, and for our comfort to comprehend in some measure the riches of the glory of his inheritance, a part of which we are seeking to be, and shall attain to according to the word of the Lord: "They that seek shall find" (2 Corinthians 2:14; Ephesians 1:17, 18).
I perceive the Lord lays his afflicting hand upon us to make us more tender; until this takes place, and the fruit of humility is in some measure found, it is marvelous how broad we, as well as other professors, make the way, and how little fear is felt of mocking the Holy One of Israel. But it pleases God when he has purposes of mercy towards us to check our proceedings by this fear, and so to hem us in by affliction that we find no way of escape, but by falling at his feet as lost sinners; and though our case seems past all hope, yet in the end we find, in thus falling before the Lord, his compassion is moved, and hope rises, where we expected nothing but despair. This encourages us to go on, and by little and little we learn that in this darksome path are to be traced the footsteps of Christ's flock, which he himself first trod. Surely this must be very encouraging to you as it has been to me, for since it has pleased God to take our cases in hand, we both have perceived that there has been a great discovery of dangers which we understood not before; and even there, where we have thought there was safety, sanctified afflictions have shown to us the broad way to destruction covered over with an outside show of religion.
I often feel utterly amazed at the goodness and mercy of God, who has delivered me from many snares. Nay, I have greatly feared, while the Lord was thus working for my salvation, that it would prove my destruction, so mysterious is the wisdom of God. Who can understand that by killing we are to be made alive? But the Lord declares it is his way of saving sinners (Deuteronomy 32:39). He kills us to all hopes of mercy in a broken law, or in any way that we can devise. He kills us to the vanities of the world and makes us alive to God. This life is hid in Christ, and known to none in the world. He maintains it in many ways, not only by sanctified afflictions, but also in many sweet visits, reviving hopes, and seasons of nearness of access to the Father through the Spirit; and in giving us power to confess our sins, he often softens our spirits and brings about much contrition and godly sorrow, which always drives out that deadly evil, the sorrow of the world. I have no doubt you find a measure of all these things; and the more spiritual diligence it pleases God to give you, the more clearly will your understanding open to the unsearchable riches of his free and sovereign grace.
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 341
Sutton Coldfield, 5 April 1846.
My dear Friends and fellow Deacons,
I dare say many are inquiring about my progress here, but I can give little account of myself or the people at present. On Wednesday I had a sore and despairing conflict; I thought all was over with me, and that the Lord had forgotten to be gracious; but in answer to very earnest prayer the Lord appeared and gave me a very sweet token of his favor and presence. Since then I have been often cast down, and in the prospect of my public speaking I am tempted with many bitter feelings of grief, which neither the world nor worldly professors know anything about. At such times as these, when pressed down beyond measure, I cannot distinguish the wrath of God, or his judgment against me for my presumption, from the dreadful power of the enemy who is always assailing me. These alarming fears drive me to the Lord with heartrending cries, and sometimes he comes to my relief, as he has done today, and showed me that no hypocrites or carnal professors are troubled with these dreadful conflicts, nor do they in any ways know the sweetness of that comfort which the Lord often brings to me under them. I believe David knew these things when he said, "The pains of Hell got hold upon me, the sorrows of death compassed me." O how often have I found that when I have been brought to this low place deliverance is near, although the enemy continually tells me there will never be an end. I am quite sure the Lord never forsakes such as in this agonizing way carry their troubles to him.
We are surrounded with hypocrites and painted saints. Those who are not taught of God cannot possibly withstand their holy pretensions, though advanced with dreadful threats and bitterness against all such as truly fear God. I am sure what Luther says is true: The greatest and most acceptable sacrifice is a spirit thus pressed into straits and afflicted; and what is very surprising is that we who are so weak and so contemptible in the eyes of the world should be so profitable to the poor afflicted people of God. Though the word is sown in weakness and much fear and trembling, it confounds all the wisdom of the world, and is attended with a divine power that no earthly power is able to crush. If you ask why it is so, I answer, Because "the word of the Lord endures forever."
I often feel alarmed lest the Lord should be angry with me for a murmuring spirit. I am ashamed of it, and would gladly part with it, which I find hard to do; but this night I found some consolation in reading Luther, and a measure of resignation to the Lord's will, seeing where have been the footsteps of his people in all ages. Luther says that the Lord requires the tears and sometimes the blood of his saints, though he preserves his church, and renders it invincible to all the power of its enemies temporal and spiritual; and as we have seen a Saul to be made a Paul, so shall we ever see that God will work and none shall let it.
My subject on Sunday evening was from 2 Timothy 1:8, "Be not you ashamed of the testimony of the Lord." I endeavored to show first that we were saved and called with a holy calling, and that this ought to lead us to much sober-mindedness. It was this feeling that led the apostle to write so seriously to his son Timothy in chapter 4, "I charge you before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead at his appearing and his kingdom." In my secret meditation upon this, I was struck with great awe and much earnestness in prayer, and said, Lord have you not made me in my measure to feel the weight of this? Have you not given me an ardent desire for the welfare of the people, and for your glory? Have you not made me honest in secret to tremble at your majesty, and yet with all spiritual ardor to follow you? It then followed, "Preach the word; be instant, in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and doctrine." Here I paused and felt power given me to be faithful and courageous against a wicked, pious, religious set of haters of the truth, but that I must not forget to beg for patience for myself, and longsuffering, for the work would not appear all at once, and perhaps some of the rebels may yet fall under the divine frown in the Word. "Watch you in all things; endure afflictions; make full proof of the ministry." I then returned to the text and endeavored to show that the testimony of the Lord was, that he had abolished death, and had brought life and immortality to light through the gospel; of which gospel Paul says (Romans 1) he was not ashamed, "for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believes," for therein is revealed the righteousness of God, by showing us that the just shall live by faith, and not by works: "By the deeds of the law shall no flesh be justified in his sight; for by the law is the knowledge of sin. But now the righteousness of God without the law is manifested," and is "by faith in Jesus Christ, unto all, and upon all them that believe." This declares Christ's righteousness, not ours, and leaves no room for boasting. The Lord helped me to enlarge much upon this, and gave me much clearness in showing the townspeople their dreadful error in being so very good in the flesh, and from this hoping for salvation.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 342
Sutton Coldfield, 11 April 1846.
My dear Friends and fellow Deacons,
I am greatly ashamed that I should have nothing to set before my friends but trouble and anxiety, that may only tend to bring them into bondage. I am always laboring in spirit with many fears, and much too readily give attention to the false reports of our grand adversary, who is always charging me with presumption, though I have had and still have repeated tokens of the Lord's blessing and presence in my own soul.
Peter boldly ventured on the sea at the Savior's bidding, but when there he presently began to sink with fears. I have found some comfort in reflecting that though he began to sink, it was not long before he with the Lord entered the ship again. I thought the Lord has often so dealt with me; it seems as if I begin to sink sooner than any by the power of temptation, and cannot acquire that way of enduring hardness that others do; but by the mercy of God, let me be ever so cast down, yet I am constantly looking to the Lord for help, and I perceive my blessing lies in patiently abiding in this exercise of confession and prayer, until the deliverance comes; and as Peter was not left behind on the stormy sea, so I find in due time Christ is pleased to come and take me along with him. These are inexpressible moments of delight, and amply make up for all my castings down. "Lift up your heads, O you gates; even lift them up, you everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in" (Psalm 24). The Lord of hosts is the King of glory, who dispels all my fears, and all the malice of the devil, and proclaims such sweet liberty to my soul. There is indeed a heavenly majesty in that sweet returning presence of the Lord after trials, darkness, and fears, which completely raises us from those deep and devouring sorrows, which continually threaten and overtake us. Who can express either the sorrow or the sweet deliverance?
I dare not enter fully into the words of Moses, but I have often felt sorely cast down, and have been ready to say as he did: "Why is it that you have sent me?" Woe is me, that you have made me a man of contention to the whole earth! (Exodus 5:22; Jeremiah 15:10). How often do I purpose with all my heart to be soft and speak nothing but peace, but I perceive the Lord does not always tell me beforehand what his message is; for sometimes when I think there is a word that will be gentle and comforting to the people, it unfolds and opens in such a different manner as quite astonishes me, and I dare not proceed only as the Lord directs; and then I sink, thinking all will leave, and I may be left to speak to the empty forms. Thus you see my shame, as if I were to direct the Lord, and not the Lord me. I assure you sometimes I would put my mouth in the dust, willing to be anything he pleases, and then I find quietness within; but the enemy will not allow me to remain long here.
The examples of all ages prove that tribulation shall abound, and that there will be many difficulties before Pharaoh is drowned. Nevertheless, the time shall come when the Lord will appear; and at these seasons he gives me sweet assurance that he is with me, and will never leave me nor forsake me. So the Lord shows us that neither Abraham's dead body, nor Sarah's barrenness, shall prevent the purpose of God. He regards not men for any natural acquirements, but chooses whom he will to root up and pull down; nor does Jeremiah's declaring his unfitness, and saying he is like a little child, prevent the Lord's accomplishing his work by the weakest instruments, that he may have all the glory.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 343
(To B. G. B.) Sutton Coldfield, April 1846.
My dear young Friend,
I have been sorry to hear you are still unwell. This unceasing voice of God, no doubt, is to excite your attention, for what are created things when compared with that rich treasure which the Lord provides for his afflicted people? All are afflicted, but all do not feel their affliction. All lie under the heavy curse of God in a broken law, but few pay any regard to it. I trust the Lord is engaging your attention; for though you are young, yet the Lord is able by affliction to show you the emptiness of all worldly vanity, and point out to you that new and living way by which the curse shall be removed.
A leaf from the plant of renown will heal the bitter waters of fear, and give a spiritual relish for those sweet and living waters of which Christ is the fountain. Beg of God that you may fall under his chastening hand and entreat him to be your good Physician. He himself is a sovereign balm for all the wounds that sin has made in our consciences; a cordial for our fears. Do not take natural quietness for spiritual peace. This will prove boggy ground. Do not take the testimony of man for your passport to eternal life. Beg that the Lord himself may manifest that he (not your kind friends) has chosen you eternal life. Neither be disheartened if the Lord first kills before he makes alive; kills you to all hopes of mercy either in yourself or anywhere else but in Christ, the true and living way. If your heart and soul are engaged in seeking these things, the issue most likely will be fear and sorrow in the onset, because the Lord will most assuredly discover to you more or less the exceeding sinfulness of sin and the holiness of God. These meeting together will also discover to you the Lord in terrible majesty, and this discovery will for a while drink up your spirit; but it is thus he makes us to feel our lost condition, and then tells us most sweetly and most kindly that he came to seek and to save that which was lost.
How it has pleased God to take your family in hand! But you must acknowledge that he has chosen them in the furnace of affliction. Consider the wisdom of God in his dispensations; how, by sanctified afflictions, he keeps us from the way of evil professors that flatter with their lips and set forth a way that shall be easy and broad, in complete contradiction to God and his word. I sincerely hope you will be led to make the Lord your refuge, then you will find him a friend in sickness and in health, in riches and in poverty, in life and in death; and to him be all the glory.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 344
Sutton Coldfield, 11 May 1846.
Dear James Bourne
I can truly say I have long most earnestly desired the welfare of yourself and your brothers, but have often sorely grieved to see such a withdrawing from that cordial fellowship that ought to have subsisted. Some to whom you seem attached I did not think profitable to any of you; they might flatter, but not instruct: and I have sometimes pondered how your profession flourished under so many different means. You may over-manure the ground so that it will bring forth nothing but weeds; so I have perceived you have not gained an hundred, nor sixty, nor perhaps even thirty-fold by the seed that has been sown. When it pleases God to come down upon you, as he has done upon me many times in my life, then you will see, as night comes on, the great lengths you thought you had gained are just nothing at all.
The apostle Paul says he heard unspeakable words, which it is not lawful (or possible) for a man to utter; so can I with truth say, "I saw the Lord, high and lifted up, and his train filled the temple;" and I covered my face with fear and shame while I had a distant view of his holiness and my own impurity, and this made me like the prophet groan out, "Woe is me! for I am undone." I hope never to forget it. I think you all have had a taste of this under your present dispensation, and my hearty desire is that none of you may forget it as long as you live. The Lord has abundantly shown you in the case of C— what godly simplicity means, and that going about to hear is not a real participation. This is what has been wanting; and it seems the Lord will not let this be wanting any longer, but in great mercy will bestow upon you the rich benefits of his free and sovereign grace.
While we hide ourselves we can allow tempers, wrong judgments, and many such like things, and consider them as nothing, because of their outside covering; but in the time of affliction (if sanctified) all subterfuges are removed, and a simple cry left. This is the place, my dear friend, which fills the soul with terrible dismay; but here the Lord heaps upon us the abundant riches of his grace. As Hart says, when we are nothing in ourselves, then we are close to him.
It is my most sincere desire that you may flourish spiritually, and not hang about at the outside of the gate, but "go through the gate, cast up the highway, gather out the stones", the stumbling stones. "Say you to the daughter of Zion, Behold, your salvation comes; behold, his reward is with him;" and I pray you, lose it not (Isaiah 62:10, 11; 2 John 8).
I am truly glad that your attempts at prayer for B— were thrown back (as it were) to show you that you had need to pray for yourself; and though you were at such a distance from the Lord, I think there was a spark of life left, since you were so conscious of your want and need of prevalency for yourself. I would counsel you not to be disheartened though your prayers seem to you nothing but lip-service. Keep at it, and you will certainly find it is not lip-service, but the struggling of the new man to regain the government which once it appeared to have. I also advise all my young friends, when in darkness, not to reason too much upon what is natural and what may prove spiritual. The Lord will bring that to light as the work proceeds. The devil will dispute you out of the sweetest visitations, and say they are only natural; but do you rather watch the fruits. If they are attended with godly fear and humility you may be sure from whence they come.
Can you believe me a faithful friend? If you can, do not walk with me as if you had never seen me before. I have had much anxiety for you all; I have felt the weight and importance of my morning's charge at home, but you have seldom encouraged me by any communication. May the Lord instruct you, and put you on the Rock, and establish your goings.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 345
(To M. M. A. G.) Sutton Coldfield, 14 May 1846.
My dear Friend,
I have been very glad to receive your two letters and the mournful account you give of yourself. You are well aware how I have been compassed about with difficulties of all sorts for many years, and that my earthly soul has burned at the presence of the Lord, feeling I was not able to stand before his indignation, for his fury seemed poured out like fire from all quarters, and there was no foothold left; my prayers seemed like black despair; no shadow of a hope entered my heart for a long time; and I felt as if it never would. And why was all this? It was surely to humble me; for the Lord looked on and saw the need for it. It has left a great fear upon my spirit, for I know not how soon my sin may procure the same again. I once thought the people of God did not get into such places, and that the Lord would preserve them from such paths. We forget all the sorrow and shame and fear that Jeremiah, Hezekiah, David, and many more fell into, and are apt to think the accounts they give only refer to their own times. Alas! I have found the Lord will not be mocked; but when all my foolishness in my profession, which I had been sowing, was ready to reap, the Lord made me to reap it with a witness, until I was sick of myself and sick of my ways. Then, then, the Lord turned my captivity, and taught me to abhor myself and repent in dust and ashes. Then the Lord said, "Now will I break his yoke from off you, and will burst your bonds in sunder." O what good tidings these were! for I never expected to see the sun, moon, or stars, any more; I thought I was clean gone forever (Nahum 1:5-13).
This is the way the Lord makes our profiting to appear. "He will not always chide;" but he will humble to the dust, and then is the due time for exalting. The Lord will not have us always talking of an abiding temptation, as if he had made no provision for us. What better provision can there be than "Come unto me, all you that are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest"? We have not because we ask not. We let things slip on, and bear the burdens which the Lord continually invites us to cast upon him. How often have I felt this these last ten days! Often have I prayed with very little prospect of success, and have risen from prayer and found no relief; yet in a few minutes, mourning at my want of access, I have perceived such a calm and sweet change as at first I dared not take; but it was accompanied with such gratitude to the Lord and such rest, that I could not but acknowledge, "This is the Lord's doing; it is marvelous in our eyes."
Thus the Lord has dealt with me, or I think I must have given all up. There is one thing Satan cannot do, he cannot work a real humbling love to Jesus Christ; it is such a downfall to his kingdom. He will only deceive hypocrites with a spurious love, full of feigned humility and bitter hatred to the true people of God. May the Lord comfort you in all your various afflictions, so that the profiting may appear to the glory of God, and the good of his church.
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 346
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) Sutton Coldfield, 25 May 1846.
My dear Friend,
I have been so moved and surprised with your accounts that they quite melted my heart and opened a wide field for my mind to ponder upon. Oh how often have I been in the storm that dear Mrs. F. alludes to! It is more frightful than I can describe; but Psalm 22 expresses what I mean, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are are you so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring? O my God, I cry in the daytime, but you hear not; and in the night season, and am not silent." Thus have I often feared that all my prayers were fruitless, forgetting the absolute necessity of deep humbling, as well as the exceeding provocation of my sins. In all thunder storms there seem contrary winds; and not only so, but the thundering voice of an angry God, which always seems to say to me, "You are the man." However dark the night, and however we may seek to hide ourselves, the lightning discovers the deep traces of secret sin, in order that we may feel effectually the displeasure of God against the heinousness of it. He gathers such terrible and thick clouds about us, that we cannot possibly tell where we are, or whether our troubles are for destruction or for salvation; only now and then the transient light appears, and something seems to say, "Follow me;" "I am the way, the truth, and the life." "Fear not to go down into Egypt," for down we must all go; and if the Savior bids us not to fear, we shall find courage to go by faith, in a way which is contrary to the flesh, and which to our natural sight would appear inconsistent. And in the end, when the storm abates, we perceive we have rather gained than lost; a little less conceit; a little more humility; and a little more understanding, especially in the contradictions of God's Word, such as, "You turn man to destruction, and say, Return, you children of men." These are the means by which we obtain those sweet intimations of the loving-kindness of the Lord Jesus Christ, and somehow have a glimmering sight of his walking upon these black seas; and such a sight, however transient, is valued more than ten thousand worlds. O how it makes the soul to stoop under the most abject feeling of its own unworthiness, while in a heart full of contrition it wonders, How can such mercy reach unworthy me?
It is this that keeps us (as Mrs. F. says) following the Lord in spirit all the day long. It is a good school, and we have in it a beautiful Teacher, for he makes dunces and fools wise without money or price. The judgments of God are an unfathomable deep, and none of his people shall escape them, because so many nations possess the old man and must be driven out, yet cannot but by the heavy hand of God upon them. It is that our ears and hearts may be open to discipline; not the discipline of a servant, but the absolutely necessary discipline of a son. He who spares the rod spoils the child; therefore, "Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you." Only thus does the Lord cause us to return to child-like simplicity, and leads us on to be sober-minded, and keeps our hearts from the threshold of temptation, always fearing ourselves and everything round about us, lest there should be a hidden poison even in the midst of outward sweets. The Lord perfectly knows our sad propensities, and this is the reason he makes a stand at us as he passes by, and seeing our weakness, and being touched with the feeling of our infirmities, he asks us what we want, and the poor soul hardly knows what to answer, but cries, "Lord, that I may receive my sight." And even when the Lord hears this prayer we get confounded for a season, forgetting that medicine is as needful as food, and that until the medicine has brought us very low, there can be no safe healing; for the Lord's wisdom is such that he will not spare for our much crying, but will accomplish his purpose, which always ends in a perfect cure, even eternal life.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 347
(To Mrs. W. Harrow) Sutton Coldfield, 30 May 1846.
Dear Mrs. W. H.,
I have often thought of you since I left London, and feel how needful it is both for you and myself to have constant and refreshing tokens of the Lord's presence. If these are distant from one another, the soul retains a measure of light, but much dryness and barrenness clogs and clips our wings, so that we cannot rise to the daily newness of spiritual life, which is so needful in the various occupations in which we are engaged. How ashamed I am when I have to go before the people, and my soul is in this condition! Yet how quickly, and by what seemingly small matters, are we deprived of that sweet spirit of grace and supplication which is the golden pipe by which the Lord conveys all his rich blessings! How few are sufficiently watchful respecting their secret communion and fellowship with the Lord! The day glides through without any inquiry being made upon this point; and then at night prayer is as dead and dry as if we were praying to the wall. Such things ought not to be passed over. I cannot help believing that the greatest part of my affliction is to check this heedless walk; and because the Lord will not suffer me to bring a dead message to the people, but will teach me first, not only the necessity of the conflict with the world, the flesh, and the devil, but the absolute necessity of a conquest; that I may show my hearers that I do not lie down with my sins unconfessed and unpurged, and also may set before the troubled people the sweet effects of a purified conscience, and assure them that the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses from all sin. This ought to be the course of our life, and I most sincerely desire you may every day enjoy the truth of it. It has pleased God to put you in a very conspicuous place, and I must direct you, at all times and under all circumstances, to this word: "My grace shall be sufficient for you." Try it. I have; and, blessed be God, I have found it so. He is a never-failing Friend. He continually shows me this truth, and I believe he will yet cause his goodness to pass before me in many changes that will take place.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 348
(To Mr. Spence) Sutton Coldfield, 4 June 1846.
My dear Friend,
I know of nothing so sweet as to find the Lord near in the time of extreme affliction. O how steady it keeps the soul even under what we feel approaching judgments! How often have I felt inconceivable sweetness in my soul, even while the rod has been upon me! What brokenness of spirit have I found under it, what a hearty acknowledgment of the need for it, and what firm belief that the Lord would make me see how profitable it should be under his divine management! And in patiently waiting and quietly hoping, I have seen the salvation of God. This is the way the Lord proves his word true: "Blessed is the man whom you chasten, O Lord, and teach him out of your law, that you may give him rest from the days of adversity, until the pit be dug for the wicked," who know nothing of this discipline. The Lord's teaching will always appear terrible to us who are saved, for he says, "It is a terrible thing that I will do unto you" (Exodus 34:10). I am sure I find it so, and sometimes wonder and ponder whether it is for salvation or destruction. I have had many ponderings of this sort since I came here, but the Lord told me last night he would make all his goodness to pass before me, with an intimation that it would be through trouble and difficulty, yet certainly not without a sweet sense of his favor and protection. But how often, after the sweetest promise, have I found the thickest darkness and the heaviest trouble, before the promise has been fulfilled! Thus I have many times been made to fear that I was deceived in the promise, even since I came here. I never had a clearer and brighter testimony in my life than that which I had respecting my coming here; and yet there appears to me but little fruit. But something says even now, Patiently wait, and quietly hope, and you shall see the salvation of God.
I have often thought of the time when your soul was assailed with fears, and there seemed nothing but immediate death before you, and no access in prayer; for then it is the cloud gathers blackness indeed. At such a time I often feel that God is a Sovereign, and none can turn him; and I cannot discern whether my prayer will enter, and whether he will help in extremity, but am kept most wistfully watching, with terrible sinking fears, until at last a little softness is felt in the heart, and I then begin to think, surely this is "the dust of his feet", this is to proclaim his approach; and so I find it; and all my afflictions, fears, jealousies, and suspicions disappear, and are out of sight and mind, under the firm persuasion of the Lord's tender pity and compassion. This makes every crook perfectly straight. The Lord does not deal with us as a master with a servant, but as a tender father with an only son. "This my son" has run away from me, and has joined himself to the children of the world, and being my son he shall smart for it, but in the end he shall have the best robe, the ring, and the fatted calf; nevertheless I will make him long remember the wormwood and the gall, and his soul shall be humbled within him. O how sweetly does that grace of humility show itself after these sharp seasons! How small our pretensions become, and how precious the love and favor of a dying Savior! How tender we grow of the Lord's honor, and how fearful lest we should grieve the Spirit of God! Prayer and reading are neither skipped nor slighted, but are as channels by which we hope to receive fresh supplies of the holy anointing oil to keep the lamp burning bright, that all that are in the house may see the profiting.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 349
Sutton Coldfield, 4 June 1846.
Dear Miss Greethurst,
What a sweet consideration it is to know, in the hour of affliction, "was lost, and is found!" When the Lord owns us in this way, there can be no persuasive power in carnal reason or in the devil to remove this sweet testimony of the Holy Spirit. "In that day you shall know that it is I that do speak; behold, it is I." It is said, "A wounded spirit who can bear?" I am sure I cannot; but a spirit that is healed by the precious atoning blood of a dying Savior bears us up under all adversity. It works longsuffering, patience, and a secret feeling of the Lord's infinite righteousness, compassion, and care, as if he could do nothing but kindness; and we then know he is but working for us a peaceable end. His thoughts toward us are "thoughts of peace, and not of evil", to give us "an expected end".
We cannot understand how he can say to us, "I have not seen iniquity in Jacob, nor perverseness in Israel;" but such is his love, that for his dear Son's sake he casts our sins behind his back, into the depths of the sea, that they may no more be found or remembered. This makes a dying bed easy, and reconciles us to pain and sickness, as was the case with Mrs. Rose here. When the Lord shone she forgot her pain, but when he hid his face she was greatly troubled. I dare say you find many such painful seasons; and that if you would give all the world, and ten thousand more, you cannot get out of these gloomy places until the Lord says "to the prisoners, Go forth; and to them that sit in darkness, Show yourselves." But when he thus speaks there is no holding us down; we cannot but soar aloft as on eagles' wings, strong in the Lord and in the power of his might. O what sweet and humbling strength is this! How little it makes us in our own estimation, and how profitable and encouraging to the church of God! May the Lord comfort you in your present tribulation, and enable you to rest assured that though death may be near, yet Christ, who is the resurrection and the life, is able to keep your heart alive, so that you shall never die.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 350
(To James Bourne) Sutton Coldfield, 10 June 1846.
My dear Friend,
I was very glad to see your letter, but found it required a more serious answer than I could at once frame. I have been very much struck by the manner in which the Lord has come among your family, first by threatening the life of C., and then prolonging it, and giving him some clear evidences of his love to him in Christ Jesus, and now placing another brother in such a situation as apparently to leave no hope of his recovery. These are no small things, and call for serious attention. The Lord's hand is not uplifted without cause, and you do well to ponder this point. Perhaps what the Psalmist says may be very suitable, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts; and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
Your family has been peculiarly favored with most gracious means, and with those outward necessary things which have enabled you to continue among the people of God. What have you all rendered to the Lord for such benefits? And where has been the cause of the first declension from that which each of you has at one time or other attained to? What unspeakable means have been put into your hands for your spiritual profiting, and yet how evident the decay! Is it not for want of a sober watchfulness over the sin of your nature? for (as Bildad said), "Can the rush grow without mire?" I can call to mind a certain brokenness of heart and spiritual tenderness in all your inquiries after truth; but this simplicity which appeared so genuine is lost in a serious silence, which many take for genuine truth, but which I know to be nothing but spiritual decay, through the deceitfulness of sin. Sin soon cools spiritual love, and the caution does not enter as it should, "Look to yourselves, that we lose not those things which we have wrought, but that we receive a full reward" (2 John 8).
Slight and early decays grow into habits, and this is what produces a general profession, which in the middle stage of life sinks down into nothing but a shell, and scarcely that. And does not such coolness widen the strait gate, and teach you to receive the truth by the judgment of the outward ear, and not by a warm experience of it in the heart? Does not the spirit of the world, brought on and encouraged by sin, which darkens wise counsel, make you indifferent to many things which at the beginning you would have been shocked to look upon? Dr. Owen wisely remarks, "If we see sheep pining in full pastures, we judge them to be diseased or unsound." Paul speaks of some who are "led away with divers lusts", under the most faithful ministry, and therefore pine away from the simplicity of the truth. Christ is a living Head; he communicates life, not death; and this life is brought about by the profitable use of the means, not merely by keeping your persons at chapel and your outward conduct grave; it is not a mere something that it may be hoped will be found to be life at last, but what the good Shepherd expresses, when he says, "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." "He smote the rock," it is said, "that the waters gushed out, and the streams overflowed", not drops (Psalm 78:20). This was for the advantage of all the people. So would your hearts be knit together in the bond of love, if you could come to the wonderful understanding of that heavenly "mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ". All treasures are hid in this, and this would give such nourishment to the soul as would be profitable to the church of God.
Are these heavenly fountains stopped, or are the heart and affections otherwise engaged? Is it not because of some spiritual decay somewhere or other? Surely it is not for want of the faithful means; and therefore you all do well to lay to heart that all the hidden causes may be brought to light, for I do most anxiously feel for you, and am sure, that if the Lord purposes to save you, his uplifted hand will not be withdrawn until he makes you to understand most fully, that whatever you sow, you will reap the same. See Isaiah 5: "My Well-beloved has a vineyard in a very fruitful hill: and he fenced it, and gathered out the stones thereof, and planted it with the choicest vine . . . and he looked that it should bring forth grapes, and it brought forth wild grapes." God forbid that what follows should be your case: "I will take away the hedge thereof . . . and break down the wall thereof . . . and I will lay it waste." This is a true picture of spiritual decay, most especially directed to unprofitable hearers and professors. I sincerely hope you will be able to see eye to eye with me. I am sure that I have gained this doctrine in the furnace of affliction, and that it will wear well, and my sincere desire is that you may be saved. I am sure the Lord is at work among you.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 351
(To J. and. S. M. B.) Sutton Coldfield, 4 July 1846.
My dear young Friends,
I am exceedingly glad to hear from you, and that you do not grow weary of my writing. I am generally in a low place, and therefore can make no great flourish. Whenever I see the hand of God upon a poor soul, there I also perceive much awe excited; and however safe the state of such may be, it does not diminish the feeling that they have to do with a holy God, for they see things as they really are. This discovery works great fear and caution, removes lightness, and produces a very careful inquiry how we stand in God's sight. It also puts a watch, not only upon our lips, but upon our thoughts. This sentinel, godly fear, detects the foolish wanderings of the heart, and by confession and prayer we are brought home again; for all sin begins in the foolish imaginations and thoughts of the heart, which are like weeds that have been lightly plucked up, and whose roots being left in the ground soon spring up again.
I think I may tell you where perhaps you all fail in the relief that is needful to preserve you from the dominion of sin. The apostle says, "The love of God constrains me." You sorrow and mourn at the discovery of that power of sin over your minds and the minds of all men; but there is one thing you must not forget. The apostle calls it "the body of this death", and you only look, as it were, on one diseased limb. Your mercy will be to bring the fountain of evil to the fountain that Christ has opened for cleansing. Get but one taste of his pardoning love, and you will find that "love is strong as death"; many waters cannot quench it, nor can the floods of temptation drown it. It was this that led Solomon to pray, "Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm;" for your power alone can keep my spirit, and preserve me from falling.
The way of escape that the Lord has appointed is godly sorrow, and a quick returning to the Lord Jesus Christ. The contrary to this will always bring on a sad withering in our profession, and a shameful sapless religion that is profitable to none. It is said of the child Samuel, that he "grew, and the Lord was with him, and let none of his words" (which were God's words) "fall to the ground, . . . for the Lord revealed himself unto Samuel by the word of the Lord." Paul, in his epistle to the Colossians, shows that we must be found fruitful, increasing in the knowledge of God, being delivered "from the power of darkness"; but that all this will be attended with a sharp conflict. Nothing cripples the power of sin so much as to come to a clear experimental knowledge of God as our Father, and of Christ as our Redeemer, and of the Holy Spirit as our Comforter. All treasures of wisdom are hid in this; but a slight profession of religion is far from this. The apostle speaks of being rooted and built up in Christ, and of being grounded and settled and established in the faith, and this it is that gives the power to put off the old man with his unfruitful deeds, and to nail our sins to the cross, however painful it may be to the flesh; and this will certainly yield a spiritual increase that shall be to the comfort of you all, for it is an abiding in the true Vine, which will bring forth fruit unto eternal life, and be profitable to the church of God.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 352
(To James Bourne) Sutton Coldfield, 20 July 1846.
My dear Friend,
I read your letter with many tears of thankfulness to the Lord for his goodness and mercy to you. "O the depths of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God. How unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!" Where we have thought he was the farthest from us, while we were deploring our wretchedness and fearing a total separation from him, he has then showed himself most near, and given us to understand it was himself discovering to us our inconceivable sinfulness, that we might learn the more to prize his mercy, as we read of one that loved much because much was forgiven.
I would have you cherish most tenderly every love-token the Lord repeats, and make the most of these visits by sitting at his feet and hearkening to his voice, and begging grace to walk according to it. The enemy is never still, he is always on the catch, and whenever he sees an opportunity he throws in a poisoned arrow, and this he makes to sink down into the heart, where, with the help of carnal reasoning, it brings on a fainting, in which state he takes us prisoners; and when once we are bound, he begins to plead against all the real evidences which the Spirit of God has given us, and we again return to that spirit of bondage; but not to the condemnation, from which Christ by his precious blood has freed us. For the Spirit of adoption in us has a voice, though much drowned by the thundering accusations of the devil, and will not give up making intercession for us, though it be with groanings that cannot be uttered; and in this continuance of the very feeble cry, the Spirit bears witness that we are really the children of God, no more servants, but sons; and then we once more cry out, "Who is he who condemns? It is Christ that died," even for my sins, and the Holy Spirit bears that testimony to my conscience, and I now feel again that nothing can separate me from Christ's love, but in all things I shall be more than conqueror, through my beloved Savior (Romans 8).
I would gently remind you that all God's children are called soldiers, and we are to learn to endure hardness. This is not said for nothing; for there is yet the world, the flesh, and the devil, to fight against as long as we live; and no doubt you will often feel yourself sorely put to it to stand your ground, but while you look by faith at the invisible power of God you will abide and be fruitful; and whenever the enemy makes you look at yourself and the dangers round about you, you will, like Peter, begin to sink. That sinking is terrible; but the Lord is touched with the feeling of our infirmities, and whispers, "Fear not, you worm Jacob;" however weak you are, "I have graven you on the palms of my hands."
Beg for and cherish a tender conscience, for on this there will be a fair impression of God's Word. If this cools or hardens, you will not know when good comes, but will presently feel your eyes opened to discern your nakedness, and some legal pretension will be substituted to hide it; and no return, until you hear the Lord say with a thundering voice, "Where are you?" Then you will begin to understand what is said, "Whoever touches the mount shall surely be put to death," for you quickly perceive the withering and death. The moment you begin to sew the fig-leaves of a false righteousness, you are covered with clouds and darkness; and, like the prodigal, you get into a far country. But in all these painful cases we are to remember that we are still the Lord's. The Lord saw the prodigal afar off and ran to meet him, to show how great is his mercy toward them that fear him.
These various entanglements I have felt most trying and painful, yet I have always found that when the enemy has come in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord has lifted up a standard against him, and says, "Hitherto shall you come, and no further;" and when I have been brought down very low at the feet of the Savior, I have heard his sweet voice saying, "I have seen his ways, and will heal him." May the Lord abundantly bless and protect you is the sincere prayer of
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 353
(To Mr. Burrell) Sutton Coldfield, July 1846.
My dear Friend and faithful Minister of the Lord Jesus Christ,
The many trials it has pleased God to bring you into of late years have greatly reminded me of the truth of many scriptures and the certainty of their fulfillment, and of none more than that in Mark 9:49, "Every one shall be salted with fire." The apostle writes a whole chapter upon this point (Hebrews 11.), and shows in it the manifest power of God in the behalf of all the various sufferers he mentions; and then gives us the encouraging exhortation, that being compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, we should look to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, and learn to endure the cross and despise the shame; and especially not forget that we are sons; and, as sons, not despise the chastening of the Lord.
Every fresh rod that has been laid upon me has been by the mercy of God the means of my being brought nearer to himself. All the profitable lessons I have learned have been in the school of adversity. I have been within these seven years often brought to the point of despair, and have often heard you speak of the efficacy of the spirit of prayer: "Ask and you shall receive." I have often pondered whether I have made some mistake, and have wondered where it lay, thinking that the people of God would and did always prevail, according to the literal words; but the Lord often brought me to this, I have not the understanding of a child. You are righteous, but to me belong shame and confusion of face; Lord, I do from my heart desire to acknowledge that you are clear when you judge! Here I always found relief for a season; but I have known (and feel it so now) that the enemy comes in like a flood, and sweeps all hope from before me, and all seems gone but just a cry, and that cry is mixed with many fears, for the enemy says, How do you know there is a God at all? But he has never yet been able to remove from my heart two points: Lord, you know that I fear you; and, Lord, you know that I tremble at your Word. The clear testimony of the truth of these two points has kept me crying to the Lord under all extremities. Once on my way to Kilburn I thought I must sink to rise no more, and I just felt from my heart, "Though you slay me, yet will I trust in you" (Job 13:15). This brought me up. The Lord shone upon my soul, and his love was most precious, and a heavenly calm ensued.
I can never forget the continued shame which at one time covered my face wherever I went; but the Lord, in compassion to my mournful cries upon that head, one day when I was reading Isaiah 54 and confessing how ashamed I was, applied these words: "Fear not, for you shall not be ashamed; neither be you confounded, for you shall not be put to shame." I replied, But I am ashamed; and the sweet and tender answer of the Lord quite removed it all: "You shall forget the shame of your youth, and shall not remember the reproach of your widowhood any more."
I have also had some very despairing trials here, but the Lord has hitherto brought me out with a high hand. I am sure that what you say is true: It is our mercy to seek that faith which will stand the conflict; for in these dark places I cannot see which way matters will turn, nor can I rest a moment in any ways satisfied until the Lord in some way or other gives me power to draw near, and to feel that he is touched with the feeling of all my infirmities and fears.
How much I desire that the Lord may give you comfort in your latter days. I know if there be any profit appearing the enemy will struggle hard to bring a cloud over it. The nearer the Savior came to his end the severer were his trials and conflicts, until at last he cried, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" I am made to stand in awe of God's judgments, and dare not harbor one such thought or question as, "Why have you made me thus?" In our early profession we understood not what a holy God we had to deal with. Surely he knew something of it who wrote, "Stand in awe and sin not; commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still." If I do this I find such evils there that I cannot wonder at anything which overtakes me, and am taught to fall flat before the Lord as a poor wretched sinner saved by free grace alone. I most sincerely pray that you may be blessed with a hundredfold of mercies, and that your daughter Mary may be an abundant sharer in them all.
Yours faithfully and affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 354
(To a Friend) Sutton Coldfield, 29 July 1846.
My dear Friend,
I was very glad to see your letter, and must tell you that if to be tempted is a sign of being wrong, I have been wrong from the beginning. I think the Lord is continually finding fault with us for an unwatchful spirit when tempted. Here Peter fell, and many more, but none more than myself; and this brings on many fears, and knowing something of the terrible majesty of the Lord I tremble, and then the Savior's compassion is moved, and he shows me in his Word, "Shall I bring to the birth" (which this trembling denotes), "and not cause to bring forth? Shall I cause to bring forth, and shut the womb" (or not make you fruitful)? (Isaiah 66:9).
This is the exercise of all who fear God. We forget that there is in us a principle with which the Lord will plead by fire and by sword; by sharp furnace-work, and by the sword of his mouth, which is the Word of God. We always find it difficult to distinguish between God's displeasure at the sin of our nature, and his wrath revealed against the children of this world. Sanctified afflictions and repeated deliverances establish our hearts upon this point, so that we learn to understand the necessity of much humbling, and wait at the feet of the Savior, and find that he sends springs of living water into those valleys which run among all the hills of difficulties we have to pass over; and thus we perceive the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting, and his repeated visits to us confirm the same. "You anoint my head with oil, my cup runs over." Then we cry, Surely goodness and mercy have followed me all my days. The Lord has been my Sun and Shield, and has never withdrawn the sweet channels of his grace altogether from me, when overwhelmed with fear and trouble, but mercy and truth have met together in my heart; righteousness and peace have kissed each other. God has been completely satisfied with the Lord my righteousness, and I am thereby received as a friend. Thus we reap what our dear Savior has sown, and he enables us to rejoice together.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 355
(To James Bourne) Sutton Coldfield, 31 August 1846.
My dear young Friend,
I must say with you I have never known words that can express the exceeding sinfulness of sin when discovered to us by the candle of the Lord searching the innermost parts of the belly. When the Lord sends these deep and cutting convictions, they create a very earnest desire that the worst should be confessed and forsaken. Zaccheus said, "Lord, behold, the half of my goods I give to the poor, and if I have taken anything from any man by false accusation I restore him fourfold." You and I have been much greater robbers than this man. We have robbed God, and disregarded his counsel and warning, but this man it appears came down on the Savior's first bidding. I have never been able to put myself low enough when the Lord fills my heart with his unspeakable love. I cannot forgive myself; and it puts my sins in a tenfold blacker light, when the Spirit really testifies that they are cast into the depths of the sea. Who can describe the living manner in which we then draw near to the Father through the Son, and the communion that the Holy Spirit attracts our hearts to cherish? What spiritual obedience to his secret teaching does this draw forth, and what earnestness to maintain it!
When it pleased God first to give me a sense of his pardoning love, I retained it for two years with very little intermission. You are now in the "banqueting house", but must not forget the banner is over you, which signifies that war is declared, and your host of enemies consist of three combined armies, the world, the flesh, and the devil. I know of nothing so hard to believe as that there can be any love in this banner displayed. I have always feared that the war was to prove me to be nothing, and that I should one day perish; but I have proved a thousand times twice told that nothing has been in life so fruitful and profitable as these humbling wars. In them have I found my own strength is perfect weakness, but the sufficiency that is in Jesus Christ has always in the end proved the means of a further display of his rich mercy. Peace has been restored, and all alienation and distance and shyness between the Lord and my soul removed; and you know "in his presence is fullness of joy," and all the rest is darkness (Song 2:4).
If we walk contrary to this, we only bring forth fruit to ourselves, neither profitable at home nor in the church. A cautious maintaining of our ground in our life, walk, and conversation will always be the effect of the awe which the judgments of God create; and everything that excites our fear will lead us to seek a better righteousness than our own. Many terrifying dispensations have produced an alarm in my soul, which I think will never be erased. They have discovered to me a depth of sin I never knew before. I have since then been aware what the Lord means by his taking vengeance of the sins of his people and I find no place so safe as to put my mouth in the dust; and in this low place, I am surprised with the sweet discovery of Christ's righteousness being placed to my account, not because I am so good, but because I have none of my own, and must needs have some, if ever I appear before God.
You, my friend, have found the Pearl of great price, after seeking it for many years. In what darkness and poverty was your soul enwrapped, always seeking in some way to be a saint, but finding that in your flesh dwelt no good thing; and this became a strait gate which you could by no means press through: If you looked within, you saw nothing but the horror of a guilty conscience. You had some discovery that God was holy, and that no unholiness could approach him. What amazing wisdom to find out that new and living way whereby such unclean and unworthy creatures as we are may be saved "by the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit". O the depth of the riches of the wisdom of God! When this is applied fresh upon the heart, how little it makes us, and how great in value is the dying love of a crucified Savior, who thus returns again and again to renew his love-tokens to poor shiners that slip in almost every step they take. His love-visits make us to remember the wormwood and the gall more effectually than any trouble can. This sweet and saving knowledge of the Savior makes us exceedingly anxious to honor him in all our ways, and to attend to every dictate, whether it be revealed in his Word, or in prayer, hearing, meditation, or conversation. We only seek his honor; and every one that thus honors him, he will honor.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 356
(To his Friends at Hertford) Sutton Coldfield, 13 September 1846.
My dear Friends,
I was exceedingly pleased that the people should hear Mr. C. Jeffreys. It pleased God to give him much spiritual liberty in the delivery of his message, and the people appeared very attentive and serious. His subject was from Psalm 115, "Not unto us, O Lord, not unto us, but unto your name give glory, for your mercy and for your truth's sake. Wherefore should the heathen say, Where is now their God? But our God is in the heavens; he has done whatever he has pleased." He showed us God's design, that man should not have the glory, notwithstanding all his vain attempts and resolute perseverance to rob God of it. God will absolutely have all the glory of man's redemption. Therefore he will bring down the lofty looks of man, and destroy all his strongholds, and that for his mercy and his truth's sake. The natural man can see the sorrow of heart and cast-down state of poor broken-hearted sinners, and this leads him to say, "Where is now their God?" But our God is in the heavens, though not seen by the natural man, who thinks of nothing but his idols, the work of his own hands, something that he himself can do, with the vain imagination that he shall thereby recommend himself to God; though he is declared in the Scriptures to be utterly lost, and incapable of any good thought toward God.
But the Spirit convinces the sinner of the whole depravity of his nature, to show him his deep need of a Savior, and of a perfect righteousness, that he may appear before God without spot, and pure as God is pure; and the same Spirit works faith in his heart to put on the Lord Jesus Christ and his righteousness, and in this to feel himself complete. Man is always inventing some other way, and God is always dishonored; for though he has established and set forth this plain way of mercy for sinners, yet one and all will not submit, but take a way of their own devising, and so perish. Some will tell you that this man must put his hand upon that man, and that man again upon another man, and then he alone has authority from God to give you salvation. What! do you think that the Lord Jesus Christ, who purchased his church with his own blood, will give her up into the hands of sinful and polluted men to take care of? No; his sheep are in his own hands, and in his Father's hands, and none shall pluck them out.
The Lord says, "Enter into the rock, and hide you in the dust, for fear of the Lord, and for the glory of his Majesty" (Isaiah 2:10-18). You see here are two places of refuge, the Rock and the dust. This singular expression is to show that we cannot go too low, if we find the right entrance into the Rock. There must be no pretensions of knowing anything. Guilty, guilty, is all we can say; for "the lofty looks of man shall be humbled, and the haughtiness of man shall be bowed down, and the Lord alone shall be exalted in that day". That day means any day which is the gospel day to us. "The cedars of Lebanon", comparable to proud professors, glorious in appearance; "the oaks of Bashan", strong in confidence; "the high mountains", holding all the doctrines of the gospel in an unbroken heart; "every high tower", where men think themselves out of the reach of reproof; and "every fenced wall", that scorns the instruction of a tender-hearted child of God, must be brought down in that day. Those cities, "great and fenced up to Heaven", spoken of in Deuteronomy 9, "as a consuming fire shall he destroy them, and bring them down before your face." The Lord will do this for us; we neither can nor dare touch such things, but he will do it for his righteousness' sake," not for ours. "Remember, and forget not." It must ever be in our remembrance that no righteousness, no wisdom of our own, will save us.
Some tell us how much our reason can do for us; but alas! our reason is utterly depraved, as all our faculties are. They cannot help us at all; but reason sanctified God makes use of for his own glory. The natural man cannot understand the Trinity, for he receives not the things of the Spirit of God; but the apostle says he had great conflict for the Colossians, that they might come to "the full assurance of understanding, to the acknowledgment of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ". He seems to infer that the love of God alone teaches this; and adds, that in this sweet and sacred knowledge are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. But some will tell you that you must read many books, and try by human learning and wisdom to understand the incomprehensible and infinite God; and then that the subject is so difficult that we must wait until we have read and heard more that we may comprehend a little more of it. We shall never in this way understand the infinite God. But a poor weak ignorant creature, who can only cry out, "You Son of David, have mercy on me," renders to God the Father the most acceptable worship. Here he finds communion with the Father, the Spirit himself bearing witness that through Christ he is reconciled to God.
Our great idol is self; and it is the object of all our thoughts (naturally) to make a comfortable abode for this idol. All we look for is a comfortable independence, and to live in peace and quietness, and that our idol may be universally worshiped. Each person, according to his station, is contriving something for his idol. The Lord says, "You fool!" for what will it profit, if we gain this or that, or the whole world, and lose our souls? Thousands are daily dropping into eternity and into Hell, because they will not take Christ upon his own terms; they want a half Christ. One will do something for himself; others will pretend they are not good enough, or not bad enough; and so they never come, but think they shall be able to get right without the means set forth in the Word of God. Only those who have been brought to see their misery, helplessness and guilt cry to the Lord, Not unto us, not unto us, but unto your name be all the glory of a full and free salvation by Jesus Christ.
Thus I have endeavored to give you a very small portion of what I found both profitable and sweet. I am sure the Lord was with us and helped his servant, and opened his heart to offer willingly unto the Lord; and I trust he will be spared to come again to the poor people here who so gladly heard him.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 357
Sutton Coldfield, 20 October 1846.
Dear Mrs. H.,
I reply to your letter, having a quiet half hour, and can truly feel for the various contending exercises you labor under at this time of anxiety. I am made to feel that the time is hastening when they that marry will be as though they married not, and they that build or plant will be as though they did it not. The difficulty is, while we are engaged in all these lawful things, to keep our minds stayed upon God, who sanctifies everything. His blessing adds all that man can possibly stand in need of. May he give it to you and to your young family.
There is a lesson set before us by Paul that will be very profitable, though difficult to learn: "They that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit." In the exercise of these there will be either life or death; and I think your letter describes an exercise which denotes life, and that life cries out, "I cannot do the things that I would." It is easy, or ought to be so, for a spiritual man to discern the general bent of his thoughts; whether, through all the cares of a family, there is a secret mourning because of the many vanities that becloud and prevent the clear shining of the Sun of righteousness, and a hankering after those spiritual things which have heretofore brought in life and peace. If the savor of these things be lost, then the case looks dark indeed, and there will be nothing but fleshly contrivances in order to display something or other, and all will be covered with a dry profession. Where a man is really exercised, as when "the candle of the Lord" shines in "the innermost parts of the belly", he will never rest under any load or care, but will wrestle like Jacob until there is a prevailing.
Head-religion will never help when real trouble comes; men may give you as many promises as they please; they may as well give you a chip to comfort you; for nothing short of the real effectual application of the promise by the Spirit will bring a soul out of soul-trouble. David said, "Against you, you only, have I sinned;" and therefore he knew that the Lord alone could pardon. It is a sense of this mercy and pardon that brings light along with it, and shows the soul that there is no real religion in a vain, trifling spirit; that such a spirit must be put off; and, however suitable to the time and circumstances, according to men's feelings, such a spirit may be, yet if we really are desirous of having "the goodwill of him that dwelt in the bush", we must duly, deeply, and seriously learn to keep our hearts with all diligence, and to ponder well the path of our feet; for in sober watchfulness only will communion with the Lord be found.
We often discern the truth of these things when we hear them, as you write respecting Mr. Gilpin's discourse; and the apostle James gives us a caution upon this point, namely, to take heed lest in hearing we behold our natural and dangerous state in the glass of God's law, and then immediately forget to put in practice the things we have heard; which is what we call conviction, not conversion. Natural conscience receives with some understanding what is right and what is wrong; but the Spirit of God goes further in his work. He delivers us from the power of darkness, and translates us into the kingdom of Christ.
You have been long exercised with many difficulties, and though you may find some release, yet I am sure a large family (the more amiable they are the more anxious will you be) can never be guided aright without much prayer to the Lord and much circumspection. I trust the Lord has put his fear into your heart, so that it shall be in all directions a blessing in your family. One thing more I must add: If you really fear God you must suffer reproach, and whether you turn this way or that, it will be the wrong way for many; for with all the sober watchfulness that it may please God to give you, you will not escape the envy of the world. May the Lord direct and bless you and your family, that they may be taught to seek such things as accompany salvation; for the youngest of them will presently run through life, and will need a Savior as much as any of us.
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 358
(To M. M. A. and J. G.) Sutton Coldfield, 29 October 1846.
My dear Friends,
Your note gave me my subject tonight; and I could but observe a few things which hold our eyes from seeing Jesus, and prevent that sweet and spiritual communion with him and with his people, which overtops all natural affection. It is written, "Beware that you forget not the Lord your God;" which all do, who desire not spiritual communion with his children; and which we are especially apt to do in affliction, by forgetting what he has already done for us. It is said, Beware of this; for it will always make room for the various artifices of the devil, and will presently hide Jesus from our eyes; and if it were not that he goes with us into these low places, we should never see our way out, we are so apt to dispute his infinite goodness to poor sinners, especially to such as he has marked for his own.
Jesus asks, "What manner of communications are these that you have one to another, as you walk, and are sad?" Do you not blush, because you have disputed God's Word? Cannot you understand that his infinite goodness in Christ overtops all your sins? We feel this truth every time he returns. But let us consider that it was while the disciples communed together that "Jesus himself drew near"; and it is of great importance to know in what way he draws near. He is represented as sitting upon the mercy-seat, which is made of pure gold, to show the value and perfection of that suffering Savior by whose stripes we are healed. The cherubim on the ends of the mercy-seat have their faces looking to one another, and toward the mercy-seat, to denote their unity and admiration (as if desirous of looking into the mystery of man's redemption), and spread their wings until they touch, to protect all poor coming sinners who approach the mercy-seat with fear and trembling. The testimony of Christ is that he will draw near to everyone who thus comes to commune with him from off the mercy-seat (Exodus 25:17-22). I believe Hezekiah felt this when he prayed, "O Lord of hosts, God of Israel, that dwell between the cherubim, you are the God, even you alone, of all the kingdoms of the earth" (Isaiah 37:16). He felt his need of help and mercy, and knew it was only to be found where God had appointed, that is, in Christ the living Ark.
It is our comfort in religion to commune first with Christ from off this mercy-seat, and then with each other, as beautifully set forth in Malachi 3: "Then they that feared the Lord spoke often one to another, and the Lord hearkened and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before him, for them that feared the Lord and that thought upon his name." Written, not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God; not on tables of stone, but on the fleshy tables of the heart. These, who manifest the true fear of God, unite in heart, and feel for "the affliction of Joseph"; and these the Lord says he will mark for his own, as the shepherds mark their sheep, for he values his sheep as so many jewels, and the day will come when he will make them up, and they shall shine indeed with luster above and far beyond all earthly jewels; and he will spare them, as a man spares his own son that serves him. Only think of this word spare! Does it not mean, if sovereign mercy did not spare, we must all be lost for ever? In this word lies the infinite love and wisdom of God in preparing such a mercy-seat as this, which is so guarded that neither men nor devils shall hinder poor coming trembling sinners from approaching with hope.
May you both, with the rest of your family, be found continually looking for this mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 359
Sutton Coldfield, November 1846.
My dear James Bourne,
I can in a measure join with you in magnifying and praising the blessed and glorious name of God for his unspeakable mercy to you, as well as to others and to myself. It is not merely because of the joy that you find in that effectual grace, which so reaches the heart as to bring you up from the belly of Hell, as Jonah calls it; but I more exceedingly rejoice because you are brought into the field of battle, and there find the love of God never diminished, but always sooner or later manifest in upholding, strengthening, and encouraging you to press on in the fight of faith; and because you, perceiving that his all-sufficiency carries you through many humbling conflicts, in which you have not one hair's-breadth of room to boast, are taught to put your hand upon your mouth and your mouth in the dust, and to say you are indeed a sinner saved by sovereign grace.
As to what you say of being assaulted by temptation, and how it appears that you so entirely take part with the evil, these indeed are real evils; nevertheless you must understand that you possess two natures, the one always craving after and delighting in nothing but evil; but this will never reign while we walk in the Spirit. The Spirit guides and protects the new principle so tenderly that nothing can persuade it to evil; but if we slacken prayer, or are surprised by an enemy in any way, and he gets his foot into the door of our hearts, we shall find he won't let us shut it against him without further parley. Here lies the danger. If the cry of the new man comes from the heart we may rest assured we shall find protection from the Lord; but if we listen one moment to the enemy, we shall go on, like Adam, until we blame the Lord himself for our sin. Conscience tells us this is too true; and while that is kept tender, there will be an honest acknowledgment of our wretched weakness, in which we are brought very low, as I was a few days ago, and could not see how I could abide, but these words were very sweet to me, "The Lord our righteousness." This completely removed my misery, for I thought if Christ is the Lord and my Righteousness, who can find fault with him? God the Father declares he is always well pleased with him, and the Holy Spirit bears testimony to the same; and therefore if his righteousness is mine there can be no charge against me.
I would indeed caution you never to give way to disproving the work of God upon your soul; you will find that is in every sense down-hill work, and you will soon be low enough if you listen to the lies of our arch-enemy. When you are in darkness and desertion you cannot do better than meditate on what you have named, namely, "We have known and believed the love that God has to us;" not that we were first in this wonderful mystery, but that he loved us, and sent his Son, who gave himself a ransom for us. I know of nothing so transforming as a sweet revelation of Christ's love to a sensible sinner. The apostle may well say it is unspeakable. But oh! my dear friend, I have had innumerable discoveries of this, and have said in my simplicity, A little more, and I shall be in Heaven. O how I have poured out prayers at such times that I might never grieve him more! How afraid I have felt at the forethought of anything that might wound his blessed Majesty! I know no place low enough to put my abject head; and as the hymn says, "Let angels prostrate fall," so have I fallen, and crowned him Lord of all. It has always been a mystery to me how I can so soon and so easily forget such things; but this always brings a fearful conviction of my wretched condition by nature.
As to what you say about your outward concerns, I have often felt these words (being situated in a very critical position), "Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called" (1 Corinthians 7:20). Prayer is a weapon for the weak. Establish your spiritual calling, then you also establish this, that Christ is "the wisdom of God, and the power of God" to you; and if so, what can defeat you? What trial, mountain, or hill can be above you? So I have really found it in all my trials; and I believe you will find, but only in answer to prayer, that his grace will be sufficient for you.
In reference to what you say respecting the verse, "Every man that has this hope in him purifies himself even as he is pure," indeed it must be so; but how? Whenever the Spirit of God sensibly applies the blood of sprinkling afresh, it is said to cleanse from all sin. This is the way the hand of faith puts on the Lord our Righteousness, and this is the true and real purity that is spoken of, and which you have of late many times tasted. In what you write respecting that verse, you suffered the old man of sin (as I said before) to put his foot into the door of your heart, and you could not shut him out; and if you ask what he did there, you yourself say he spat the venom of rebellion, and somehow got between you and your blessed Guardian; and then you began to think everything was too much for you, and you must halt. That is just what the enemy wants to bring about; to cause you to look at your difficulties, and not at Christ, to look at the things that are seen, and not at the invisible power of Christ. Do you not observe that when you get here, darkness and confusion follow close upon your heels? It must be so; for Christ is the only true light; and if the light be put in the background, yon must expect the darkness.
As to your feeling your want of talents, I believe the Lord puts a veil over them so that it shall seem to you as if you scarcely possessed common sense. This is what I am almost constantly made to feel; but I perceive that it leads me the more readily and earnestly to seek the Lord to overrule it, and I find nothing can surpass his mercy in helping our infirmities. The Lord exercises us thus that we may be clearly taught how small we are, and must be, in our own estimation. It is by fearing that we depart from evil. The Lord puts his fear as a sentinel at the door of our hearts to notice and watch what goes in and comes out, and while faithful to this we are preserved from danger.
Your outward burden is suffered to remain as needful ballast. Without it, no doubt, there would be a want of steadiness in storms. Watch that want of submission mentioned twice in your letter, and think of that beautiful text which our friend here has had following him in his illness, "Be in subjection to the Father of spirits, and live." The changes you speak of are what the people of God in all ages are subject to; but whenever the Savior is behind a cloud, take care you rest not, but fight it out, until he is pleased to shine again; Jacob was a bright example of this; and to neglect it may bring on darkness from hours to days, from days to weeks, from weeks to months, from months to years. Spiritual attention to these things will never hinder our temporal concerns, but rather bring in and unite eternal blessings with them.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 360
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) Hertford, 24 December 1846.
My dear Friend,
I am for the most part in great trouble of mind here. I cannot help thinking it is profitable, for it keeps me praying and often prevailing. Sometimes I fear the Lord has utterly forgotten me, and I have lost my way. My morning reading was chiefly upon the woman of Canaan. It is said the Savior answered her not a word. This is sad work in trouble; but I have often found it so. Her prayer appeared very simple, "Have mercy upon me, O Lord." I suppose the disciples noticed the Savior's silence, and therefore acted as if they should dismiss her too. How often have we all done this! We are so short-sighted as not to see the grain of mustard seed, and thus conclude that there is nothing but a noise. I found much of this at my beginning; most of the people shook their heads at me, and cried out, Can ever God dwell there? The Lord's mercy to the woman of Canaan, and to me also, was that we did not take offence, but found the Spirit bore such a testimony in our consciences that no charge against us could be so bad as we knew our case really was. Though the Savior told her he could not give the children's bread to dogs, she was not rebuffed, but acknowledged the justice and truth of the Savior's assertion; yet feeling her utterly lost condition she could not be silenced. "Truth, Lord," but I am perishing with hunger, and may I not have the crumbs that fall from the table? I only ask for that which the dogs pick up. Anything but to perish, Lord; you know I cannot endure the thoughts of that. How beautifully are here set forth the sweet effects of persevering through all difficulties whatever! How often have I found this since I have been here! How suitable are the words of the apostle Jude to meet my fears and wants, "But you, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life." I feel the need of this continual looking more than I can express.
The other day, being in great trouble, much cast down, my eyes turned to this passage, "Behold, for peace I had great bitterness; but you have in love to my soul delivered it from the pit of corruption; for you have cast all my sins behind your back" (Isaiah 38:17). It proved a complete Heaven to me, and seemed to say, No pit of corruption for you.
"No new demands, no bar remains,
But mercy now triumphant reigns;
Your resurrection's sure through his,
To endless life and boundless bliss."Let me ask you, What shall we, or can we, render unto the Lord for such benefits?
Pray give my best love to W. Adams; and tell him I want him to join with me in these sweet things as he did in his late affliction; I trust neither the savor nor the edge of those heavenly tokens will ever be forgotten or blunted. Say I wish he would give my love to Mrs. N. and take this letter along with him. Remember me to our dear friend Mrs. Adams, and tell her I hope she has been able to make some fresh high heaps since I saw her; and do not forget my young correspondent in your family, and tell her not to forget the lessons the Lord has been teaching her for some time.
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 361
London, 29 December 1846.
Dear Mrs. Spence,
I often think of the way in which I was led during my stay at Hertford, through a host of fears, and some unfathomable difficulties. Many times I called to mind Mrs. F.'s saying, "I was obliged to pray right through them all;" and I may add, Not in vain. I believe that the conflict, by the mercy of God, was made profitable to the people; and I am sure it was, in many ways, to myself, both in humbling my spirit, and in showing how near the Lord is, if haply we feel after him.
The darkness we are often under shows that we have in some way turned aside; the returning light shows that we have prevailed, through the merciful intercession of our faithful High Priest; and then instead of gloom there is light, love, and spiritual liberty, which enable us to come with holy boldness before the Lord, and to find grace to claim the wonderful privileges he has granted to his adopted children. I cannot express the sweet and divine power with which I could speak to the Lord, as "my Lord and my God" at many different times while I was at Hertford. How I felt for such as were held in chains, perhaps for what may seem the slightest causes, not having sufficiently laid to heart that day which the Lord says shall reveal every man's work, of what sort it is. But I believe you have a few among you that will indeed make it manifest that they have built upon Christ, the true foundation, gold, silver, precious stones, which shall abide when the rains descend and the winds blow.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 362
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) Birkenhead, 15 February 1847.
My dear Friend,
The Lord brought me here in sweet peace, and from the first moment I felt disposed to come to the present time I have not had one distant check contrary to it, but many sweet tokens of his merciful favor. A very commodious room has been, with some trouble, provided. My subject last evening to the very few that attended was from Psalm 51:15: "Open you my lips, and my mouth shall show forth your praise." I had no sooner begun than the Lord drew near, as a sweet evidence of his approbation, and helped my infirmities, and gave me a clear testimony of his mercy and favor to my soul.
I began by showing how the Lord opens our lips, saying, (Hosea 14:2-8) "Take with you words," and pray to the Lord Jesus Christ that he would take away all iniquity; then we readily render to him our high praises; then we have done with all the vanities and false pretensions of religion, and will not allow that Asshur shall save us, or any invention of ours, but that it is the Lord alone that heals all our backslidings, and becomes as a dew to refresh our souls when borne down with sin and sorrow. This not only opens the lips, but the heart also, which becomes like wax melted before the fire; and this causes the soul to grow like the lily in a low place, small in its own estimation, though fragrant before God and his people. Our beauty may for a while change, bleak winds of temptation may cause a withering, yet shall we revive as the corn through the refreshing dews; and each reviving visit will open the lips to say, "What have I to do any more with idols?"
I then endeavored from the example of Moses (Exodus 4) to show the pains the Lord takes to open the lips of his people against all objections. The Lord showed Moses, by the miracles of the rod and his leprous hand, what he could and would effect by his almighty power. But Moses cried, "O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since you have spoken to your servant; but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue." And the Lord said unto him, "Who made man's mouth? or who makes the dumb, or the deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? Have not I the Lord? Now therefore go; and I will be with your mouth, and teach you what you shall say." And how beautifully the Lord did teach him, and how Moses was made to open his lips indeed, and show forth the Lord's praise, as when he said, "Give ear, O you heavens, and I will speak; and hear, O earth, the words of my mouth. My doctrine shall drop as the rain, my speech shall distill as the dew, as the small rain upon the tender herb, and as the dew upon the grass." O how did this become "like the best wine for my beloved, that goes down sweetly, causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak"! It is under these feelings that we from the heart can "publish the name of the Lord" as infinitely gracious, and can declare that he is a Rock on which we may safely build (Deuteronomy 32:1-4; Song 7:9).
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 363
Birkenhead, 16 February 1847.
To my dear friends in the Lord at Hertford,
I have had many fears and many suspicions respecting my coming to this place, though I believe the Lord inclined my heart most willingly to come, and my spirit was altogether free from the slightest check, and I had many seasons of contrition in secret before him, and he spoke those beautiful words upon my heart further to encourage me, "I will deliver you, says the Lord; I will surely deliver you; your life shall be for a prey unto you, because you host put your trust in me, says the Lord" (Jeremiah 39:17, 18). In the strength of these tokens I took my journey, and had a most delightful time in communion with the Lord in reading, with further assurance of his blessing and presence.
On the 14th I began my ministry here with these words, "Open you my lips and my mouth shall show forth your praise;" and found much liberty. I had the same text morning and evening, and the Lord did each time fill my heart with his merciful presence, so that my cup ran over. The following day, while writing to my friends and endeavoring to describe the manner in which the Lord opened the lips of Moses against all his objections, I had a most singular inflowing of the love of God in my own heart, and the Lord drew near, and the subject was immediately turned personally to me, and removed all my fears, doubts, and suspicions. "The Lord said, Who has made man's mouth? Have not I the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth, and teach you what you shall say." This divine power broke my heart with unspeakable love and contrition. I was alone, and cried out, O Lord, why me? What condescension and love, what a clear perception I have of your sweet teaching! I know indeed and of a truth that you are mine, my Guide, my Counselor, and my Friend; that I am not come to this warfare alone, but you are my shield and my exceeding great reward. I am sure that you have not sent me to speak to the stones, but you have some poor creature to call; like as of old, you must needs go through Samaria; and now, Lord, let me beg mercy for our dear friends at Sutton. O Lord, if it please you, do not suffer them to be left without a teacher at this time, but graciously hear your servant, and grant this request for Christ's sake, if consistent with your will.
I cannot describe the heavenly power of the Lord's love to my soul, and what holy awe and repentance and deep humiliation it wrought in my heart, and how satisfied I felt with this heavenly testimony. O my friends, seek for clear work in everything; and be assured, "Your heart shall live that seek God."
Yours in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 364
Birkenhead, 19 February 1847.
My dear Friend,
This morning I called upon a poor woman who has heard me once. I was much surprised and really comforted with her tender broken spirit. She gave me a long account of her soul-trouble. The church people were kind to her, but could not understand a word she said; they told her the promises, but nothing entered. She then tried the Wesleyans, and they scolded her for being in trouble, until she was obliged to leave them also. For the last two or three years she has heard none, but has read the Bible, which sometimes opened so beautifully to her that she felt as if the Lord spoke to her as she read it. "Some little time back," she said, "I was in great affliction, and great trouble of mind along with it, and as I lay weeping one night, and praying to the Lord, this sounded in my heart and took away all my trouble: 'Your sins are forgiven you.' I was so satisfied that it was from the Lord, that I no longer grieved, but nobody understood me. I have, therefore, said nothing lately to anyone. I could understand every word you said; it plainly pointed out the way I had been led, and I thanked God for sending one that knew these things."
As it respects myself, I have many fears night and day how the affairs of this place will turn out. All that first heard me at Sutton forsook us, and yet the Lord has a people there; so I may yet hope that there will be found some even of the respectable merchants that have heard me here. But these rich ones speak and walk too freely, and therefore I fear that they will in the end profit very little. I perceive that rich people will show themselves independent both of God and man; they suppose they have full liberty to hear when and where they like, and to think for themselves. "Money is a defense." These things try me, yet the Lord often gives me patience, and makes me very watchful that life may be kept up in my own soul. I cannot help thanking him for his rich mercy in being with me in so peculiar a manner when I am in public, which I judge to be a token that his hand is in our affairs here, and that it shall one day be seen.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 365
(To Mrs. Tims) Birkenhead, 19 March 1847.
My dear and aged Friend,
I desire to claim your prayers as you approach the end of your course. There is not a day but I am feeling the tokens of a final dismissal from this earthly labor. I am a wonderful witness of the mercy of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ; I have been most untoward, and am now sorely ashamed of myself for my backsliding heart; yet such is the love of my heavenly Father (for so I must call him in Christ Jesus), that he breaks my heart with his sweet and repeated visits; and I know you find it so too. I was looking after him this morning, and my cold heart called more for a rod than for a kind word; yet these words were so very endearing as to remove all distance: "The Lord hear you in the day of trouble; the name of the God of Jacob defend you; send you help from the sanctuary, and strengthen you out of Zion; remember all your offerings, and accept your burnt sacrifice" (Psalm 20:1-3). They brought sweet comfort, and assured my heart of the Lord's tender care here, and of his presence in my latest hours, and of eternal life hereafter.
"Was ever grace, Lord, rich as Thine?
Can anything be with it named?
What powerful beams of love divine
Your tender heart inflamed!"
It gives me great encouragement to hear that the Lord is so kind to you. How true it is, "He will ever be mindful of his covenant;" and "He retains not his anger forever, because he delights in mercy" (Psalm 111:5; Micah 7:18). How I feel while I write this, that the Lord would have me set it forth fully for an established truth for all poor troubled souls to be assured of! I do most sincerely desire that you may have a clear setting sun, without a cloud; that the glory of God may shine forth to the comfort of those about you, so that they may see there is a substance and reality in what our blessed Lord and Savior causes us to inherit, and that it is not a cunningly devised fable, such as in these days flatters and finally deceives thousands of vain professors. Love to all that love our Lord Jesus Christ in truth and sincerity.
From your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 366
(To Mr. T. B.) Sutton Coldfield, 3 April 1847.
My dear Cousin,
We had a safe and pleasant journey, quite to ourselves, and have had a very hearty welcome from the people here. I perceive several changes in our little congregation, but am sincerely glad to find that they are not tired of my plain dealing. My subject was very serious: "The Lord God has opened mine ear, and I was not rebellious." (Isaiah 50:5). I endeavored to show what it is for God to open our ears to discipline; and how, on the first opening, rebellion and pride are manifest in us before we hearken; and how hard it is to part with old habits of levity and vanity, especially while we do not find courage to part company with the world, as Jacob did with Esau. Some of us secretly, in our spirits, plunge "like a wild bull in a net", so quick are we to feel the reproach of men, and so afraid of their revilings. We cannot keep steadily looking to the promised help of the Lord, and therefore make but faint progress, if any, in the way of life; nor can we fully enter into the Lord's real and kind offer of help, by reason of our overpowering sins; and, until he puts his heavy hand upon us, we cannot believe that we may draw near unto him as a merciful and faithful High Priest, to beg that our hearts may be sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our outward walk and conversation washed with the pure water of life.
I think this is much wanted at Birkenhead. There are some very satisfactory tokens of a begun work, but there is a Tobias or a Sanballat somewhere that secretly pulls down what seemed to be built up; and I am not able to find out these destroyers of God's heritage. I sincerely hope it may please God to bring you out from the people, and gather you from the nations among whom you have been scattered, those numerous professors who really have no knowledge either of themselves or of the true grace of God. The word is, "Be you separate." "He who fears God shall come forth of them all."
When the Lord designs that we shall fairly take hold of the gospel-plough, it is his purpose that in the exercise of ploughing up the fallow ground of the heart, there shall be also a rooting up and burning of many weeds that grow rapidly in unguarded hearts, and bring a reproach upon the cause of God. When — spoke to Mrs. A., it would have been well for her to have done what the Savior did: "He answered never a word." She would be much clearer in her evidences if she had less general conversation with her employers. The Lord does not give these kind providences that we may accomplish ourselves with a superfluity of nothings; but he often withdraws them that we may understand he notices everything.
Your affectionate cousin, James Bourne
Letter 367
(To James Bourne) Sutton Coldfield, 10 April 1847.
My dear J.,
You have often noticed your difficulties in business; but I dare say you have, before this, found out that the Lord teaches business, as well as spiritual truth; only when be bestows his teaching it is sure to have a most humbling effect upon the soul. It is no small thing for one who has thought himself something to be fully convinced he is less than nothing. He who made the world out of nothing can do this, and perhaps is doing it effectually with you; not really to destroy your talents which are needful to fulfill your station, but to teach you how to come to him for help in all things. How often have I with tears entreated the Lord to befriend me on difficult occasions in business, and how plainly have I seen his kind intervention!
When Sukey Harley longed to read the Word of God for herself, she says, "I got my little wench to teach me the letters; she used to grow weary and sleepy, so I would give her two suppers to encourage her; all the while I was praying to my God to enable me to learn. She brought me on as far as this—'God is love; God is light;' and these words overcame me. When I spelt these words they came into my heart. I thought, My God is love; he is light; he can teach me himself. I wanted no more teaching of Mary. From that time I would take my book, and go down on my knees, and look up to my dear heavenly Father, and beg of him to teach me. I used to spell out the words, and then look up to know how to call them. Oh how I felt at those times! I can give no description of my feelings. But I had this confidence given me, that he would teach me; and he did teach me." I cannot give you a brighter example of the Lord's mercy and tender care than this; nor can I say anything better than, "Go you and do likewise."
Sharp trials are not intended to prove that we are hypocrites, but to prove the efficacy of God's grace, which is compared to unsearchable riches, which passes knowledge, a depth that cannot be fathomed. How distinctly do I feel the full determination of the Lord to humble the proud heart of man. He will not spare him for his much crying, and yet how unspeakably tender he is to the new man, an image he delights in, glories in, upholds, and watches day and night with the tenderest care; no weapon formed against this can prosper, because it is hid with Christ in God, and "this is the heritage of the servants of the Lord". I wish both you and I could claim our right in the dark hour of temptation. Here I am often foiled and often cast down, but never utterly forsaken; and when broken in heart, my heritage is set before me, and I am astonished.
I feel it is a true token which you express in your letter, and call fear. I do not mean to preach unbelief, but I read, "Happy is the man that fears always;" for by this fear we are continually departing from the snares of death, and the conscience is kept alive at every inroad the enemy attempts; and our prayer is, as the hymn says,
"Lord, show me what 'tis close to keep;"
and the answer,
"Your whole dependence on me fix;
Your strength, your wisdom flee;
When you are nothing in yourself,
You then are close to me."I sincerely hope you have no real outward loss or distress; but if you have, we know that the Lord does nothing in vain. If I may speak, I have observed through life, when the Lord has been about to do me some great favor, he has prepared me for it by peculiarly humbling circumstances; and when I have been put at the very bottom, he has then said, "Friend, come up higher." Then come the songs of praises you speak of. If you were to hear these sometimes from me in secret, you would wonder how I could utter the words I do; for while my heart is overwhelmed with the love of God, I can but answer with confessions, and seem as if I could only abase myself at his feet, while he is showing me such abundant mercy.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 368
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) Sutton Coldfield, 15 April 1847.
My dear Friend,
My subject last night was from John 11, "The Master is come, and calls for you." I spoke of the Lord's coming to the sinner, and of his call; and then of the quickness of Mary's proceedings: "She arose quickly." The word is imperative, "Arise, shine, for your light is come." This gives speed to the enlightened soul, and often affects our neighbors also, for we hear, when the Jews saw it, they followed her. When Mary had a divine and spiritual sight of the Lord Jesus Christ, she fell down at his feet; the true effect of a broken heart. In this condition the Savior saw her, and he groaned in his spirit and was troubled. "In all their affliction he was afflicted." It is added, "Jesus wept", touched with the feeling of our infirmities, so much so that it was observed how he loves his people, as it is written, "Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love," so that nothing shall separate them from his love, but in all things they shall be more than conquerors through him that loved them. It was a cave, where Lazarus lay; and oh! what a dark place we all lie in when the Savior first comes, with a stone upon our hearts harder than the nether millstone! But he says, "Take you away the stone;" and the divine authority of his word breaks the neck of all carnal reason; and he tenderly claims their attention to himself, and not to their reason. "Did I not say unto you that, if you would believe, you should see the glory of God?" O how this glory shines in his mercy to coming sinners! How he manifests his power in coming over all mountains of unbelief to help them! Then he shows his sweet intercession by saying, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me;" that is, in the behalf of this poor dead sinner, so that "though he were dead, yet shall he live." This stone shall be removed from his heart, and he shall perceive that nothing is too hard for the Lord. Jeremiah describes this stone upon the heart exactly as we feel it: "When I cry and shout, he shuts out my prayer; he has enclosed my ways with hewn stone, he has made my paths crooked." But when the blessed Savior speaks the word, "Take you away the stone," then we perceive the language begins to change, and Jeremiah adds, "The Lord will not cast off forever; but though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies; for he does not afflict willingly, nor grieve the children of men. Wherefore does a living man complain, a man for the punishment of his sins?" (Lamentations 3).
I felt a very sweet power in the delivery, and told the people that I was sure from the power I felt that there were some present whom the Master would call for. There were several much comforted. The numbers greatly increase since my return, and a larger place seems needful.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 369
Sutton Coldfield, 17 April 1847.
To all my dear friends at Hertford,
I wish I knew how to acknowledge your kind remembrance of the cause of God in this place. I know not who among the people here it may please God effectually to call, but I am surprised to see so many who appear to attend with a desire to hear the truth. I feel my own incompetency, and confess my sinfulness before the Lord with much shame and fear. I search the Word of God for what may be profitable to the people, but cannot express the weariness and painfulness I feel before I find what reaches my heart as suitable for them; for I am exceedingly afraid of setting before them anything of the Word of life that I have not handled and tasted. I often begin in weakness and fear and much trembling, but to my astonishment the Lord comes to my relief, and shows me that it is his design to make it manifest that the power is his own; and I am much surprised to perceive how the Word enters, and what encouragement I find in hearing of the people's profit: yet I presently sink into fears, and in this state am sent again to gather fresh food for the next time. I think this is to keep out the foot of pride, for I can find no room for boasting, but plenty for shame and confusion of face on account of a worldly spirit, which is far from life and peace. I perceive a deep-rooted backsliding that is not noticeable outwardly, and this brings a heavy cloud, and the Lord frowns and seems to say, Is this making your profiting to appear? This brings on an alarm, and I fear I shall be removed for my unfruitfulness; only I call to mind what is written, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness;" and something says, Go and preach all this, and it is sure to meet with some that stand in need of it; and be sure to tell the people how you are restored, and the humbling effect it has upon you. These are the foolish things that confound the wisdom of the wise, and bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent.
Thus, my dear friends, I have endeavored to show how your kindness is extended to numbers here, who are enabled to hear the truth because the Lord has put it into your hearts to help forward his cause. I earnestly desire to pray for you all, that the Lord would give you a hundredfold by continuing a faithful ministry among you; and remain most cordially a willing servant of Christ Jesus to all who love him in sincerity and in truth. James Bourne
Letter 370
(To the Rev. John Vinall) Sutton Coldfield, 15 June 1847.
My dear Friend,
The Holy Spirit witnesses in every city that bonds and afflictions abide us. We none of us know what shall befall us; but the Lord says, "I have seen the affliction of my people." The land we are passing through is "a land of hills and valleys"; "the eyes of the Lord our God are always upon it." The former rain and the latter rain shall be given in due season, that we may gather in the corn and the wine and the oil. But there can be no rain without clouds. The Lord suffers us to fall into afflictions, for he knows the need for it. These bring heavy clouds, attended with many mournful acknowledgments and confessions and misgiving fears, and upon the valleys of humiliation and self-loathing the rain descends in sweet showers of godly sorrow and contrition; and Christ, the true grain of wheat, becomes to us in these low places the most precious food; and the sweet reviving, cheering word of promise lifts us up to stand firm on the Rock of ages, while the holy anointing oil confirms and clears the testimony, so that we cry out, "It is good for me that I have been afflicted;" for in our affliction we find that he prepares "a feast of fat things full of marrow, of wines on the lees well refined;" and thus, by the wonder-working power of God, the more we have been afflicted the more we have grown in the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ (Deuteronomy 11:10-14).
On one occasion I was more grievously afflicted than I think I ever felt before, and these words looked fearfully upon me: "You have forsaken me, wherefore I will deliver you no more." I was in great distress, but not prayerless; and these words presently followed: "His soul was grieved for the misery of Israel" (Judg. 10:13, 16). O how sweetly this tender compassion of the Lord Jesus Christ comforted my sinking spirit! I saw that he was touched with the feeling of all my infirmities, and he assured me that when I was tried I should come forth as gold. I perceived by this that "affliction comes not forth of the dust, neither does trouble spring out of the ground". It taught me to commit my cause to God, for I perceived that it was he alone who "set up on high those that be low, that those which mourn may be exalted to safety". The crafty enemy would take advantage of us in all directions, if the Lord himself did not sit as the Refiner. He rules, and overrules, so that the devices of Satan are brought to nothing; and the poor are saved at last, though often out of terrible places of despondency (Job 5:6-15).
I cannot express how much I feel for your present affliction, but we must all acknowledge the Lord makes no mistakes. This affliction will be a stumbling-block to many, but you and I must bow to God's sovereignty, and believe that none shall stumble except such as have been awfully thereunto appointed. Not one grain of wheat shall fall to the earth. Stoop under the mighty hand of God, and you will be most assuredly more than conqueror through our blessed and precious Savior, who "has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows".
The church of God is in a low place in this kingdom; the Lord visits our sins for lightly esteeming the day of his visitation. The whole nation seems to lie in the wicked one; and the few afflicted sheep of Christ appear almost deserted of God and man. What a wonder of wonders that such weak ones as we are should be able to stand our ground, affliction and reproach everywhere abiding us, as well as hot furnace-work at home and in our own souls. But he is faithful and true who has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." He will go before us in all the dark dispensations we enter, so that his sweet and comforting presence shall strengthen us to cry out from the heart, "Neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
From your affectionate friend in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 371
(To Mrs. T.) Sutton Coldfield, 15 June 1847.
My dear Cousin,
I perceive you are in the midst of a fire, and it will be a mercy if it kindle not upon you. The Lord Jesus says, "Strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, that leads to life, and few there be that find it." When the opposition runs high, we feel a secret propensity in some way to compromise. Here lies our danger; I felt it severely a few weeks ago; but the Lord applied these words: "If you take forth the precious from the vile, you shall be as my mouth" (Jeremiah 15:19). This followed me many days, and I found a sweet and heavenly testimony in my public speaking, while I was declaring many tremendous truths.
God will honor his work and his Word where he makes his people faithful. The word which he has put into my mouth here will be a very awful sentence to many who have rejected it. I believe the same at Birkenhead, and fear it will overtake some who have but little suspicion of their danger. Poor Mrs. —! the word to her seems like the firing of a gun against a soft wool-pack. If it should enter, what a wonder of mercy! You have a few others that I sorely tremble for, they have so much that is combustible about them. It is hard work stripping; and yet the gate is so strait they evidently cannot press through.
I feel much for —. Eternity is close at her heels, and all the world are combined to prevent her entrance into eternal life. They are determined she shall perish with them. Her eyes are in a measure open to this sad and endless catastrophe; but down she must go with the rest, if the Lord prevent not. I had hopes that — would have paid me a visit here, but I perceive truth is accounted a pestilence that walks in darkness, and will prove such a ruin to vain hopes that great care must be taken that all the world avoid the infection. How many have I seen go down to the pit because they would not have Christ Jesus to reign over them!
Oh, my dear cousin, what need have we to look well to ourselves, and mistake not light for life. The cares and bustle of this life bring many lashes of conscience upon us, but will not bring a peaceful end. I am often pondering this over, and can clearly discern the danger of such things, and wish exceedingly to have my title clear. The other day I was very sorrowful, fearing this point, and the Lord came in and assured my heart that all my sins were cast into the depths of the sea. I found the new and living way sweetly open, and my safety unclouded. Thus the handwriting against us is nailed to the cross, and we are sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, "which is the earnest of our inheritance, until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory."
I am sincerely glad of your coming here; I have been very desolate, but the Lord has so often renewed his love-tokens, that I have also been much strengthened and encouraged.
Your affectionate cousin, James Bourne
Letter 372
(To the Rev. W. Maddy) Sutton Coldfield, 18 June 1847.
My dear Friend,
I never in my life understood so clearly how people confound John the Baptist's preaching repentance and living on locusts and wild honey. I think I have seen you endeavoring to live upon these, thinking they would bring you to Christ, whereas the Lord is teaching you the right way by barring up your own ways. I feel it is a fearful thing, either in myself or in another, to be brought to that despairing state which finds nothing in us to pay the tremendous debt of sin. I believe the Lord is leading you in the real way, and will not suffer you to be dabbling with divine things, but show you what it is to be perfectly lost. You have for many years been shutting up the kingdom of God, and instead of entering, have amused yourself with fasting and praying in the letter, without watching the answer, and with being liberal in many ways. You have found these things do not cleanse a defiled conscience, but rather harden, and bring great dishonor upon all the wonderful things the Lord Jesus Christ did and suffered for us poor miserable sinners. It is written, "God is a Spirit, and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth." You have had a great share of outward goodness in many shapes; and it has been as a hindrance to your getting through the strait gate; for it will never be admitted, even the best of it.
It is a strange place to be brought into, to be empty, void, and waste; but I also know full well the infinite compassion of our loving Savior towards all such. It is a mystery to be spiritually poor; but to be so is a sure proof that we are in the heavenly kingdom. "Theirs is" (not may be) "the kingdom of Heaven." So the Lord says. Oh, this spiritual stripping room! It leaves us shamefully naked and horribly unfit to be seen by God or man. Yet this is the condition the Savior never condemns, but to all such as are brought to it he says with an unspeakable sweetness, "Come unto me;" "I will in no wise cast you out."
It will be difficult to understand all this; but the Spirit of truth will guide you into all truth; and the sorrow you will then labor under will be godly sorrow, often mingled with sweet contrition, which will secretly draw your heart to Jesus to do something more for you; and while thus entreating you will wonder to perceive that the Holy Spirit helps your infirmities with groanings which cannot be uttered, and that will prove a language which our heavenly Father understands, and he for his dear Son's sake will call you by that endearing name, "Beloved," and say, "Think it not strange concerning the fiery trial;" for all that reach Heaven pass through it, and so shall you; and be like fine gold. This is the only way to true spiritual gospel liberty.
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 373
(To the Rev. R. M.) Sutton Coldfield, 21 June 1847.
My dear Friend,
I have been very poorly and exceedingly cast down for some days, yet I perceived the Lord to look at me most sweetly in these words, "They shall hang upon him all the glory of his father's house, the offspring and the issue, all the vessels of small quantity, from the vessels of cups, even to all the vessels of flagons." I said, Lord, I do hang upon you; and I have no desire to hang upon any person or thing besides. This brought my sorrow to contrition, acknowledging he does all things well. Then it was secretly whispered, This must be your subject for Sunday; and I saw great beauty in his being fastened "as a nail in a sure place". I considered there could be neither mercy nor hope for me, had not the nails been fastened in his hands and feet. His death ensured my resurrection to eternal life; for I saw his almighty power first in raising himself and then in renewing us, and giving us the sealing and earnest of the future inheritance. I saw it most wonderful that the Lord should consider us as his valuable inheritance, and that he should glory in us, and look upon us with complacency and delight, and account us his jewels. All this comes of Christ being fastened in the sure place; it makes our hopes sure and full of immortality, and he becomes a glorious throne to his Father's house; even the throne over which the cherubim stretched forth their wings to protect the trembling coming sinner, and turned their faces toward each other, to denote their perfect delight in clearing the way to this throne for all poor self-despairing sinners. Is it not wonderful that God should say so much about this glory, when he speaks of us poor half-hearted sinners? But there are times when we believe he is in earnest when he says that he delights in all such as hope in his mercy. Even the vessels of small quantity find room on this nail. It will let down none who venture wholly (Isaiah 22:20-25).
Ezra in his day found this nail a sure place, and obtained a little revival in his bondage; hanging upon this nail, his eyes were enlightened and he perceived that none of such bondmen were forsaken, but mercy was extended to them, so that all the desolation, dryness, barrenness, and unfruitfulness of their past walk was healed (Ezra 9:8, 9).
This nail is as much despised in the present day as the vine in Ezekiel 15:For they cry, "What is the vine tree more than any other tree?" We see no form nor loveliness in him; no beauty that we should desire him; his life was sought for by Herod; he was despised and rejected of men, denied by Peter, betrayed by Judas, murdered by the Sanhedrin, crowned with thorns and mocked. If this were all, how terrible! But look how this beautiful Vine shot forth branches! How fruitful it was! How he magnified himself, when he rose from the dead; when he cried, All hail, and became conqueror over death and Hell! And how often he has made us also conquerors through him! O what unspeakable love and mercy are seen in all this to such rebels as we are! How my soul does try to magnify the Lord for it! But I can scarcely see to write; my heart runs over with the sweet power of his love. I really find it a sure place to hang all my hopes upon for time and for eternity. But the world cries, "Shall wood be taken from the vine for any work? will men take a pin of it to hang any vessel upon?" No, men are too wise to trust to such apparent weakness; but not too wise to put this beloved Vine into the fire; for though there is nothing in him worthy of death he shall be scourged, and the sentence of death shall be executed upon him. O how mysterious are all these things! All sown in weakness, but raised in power; so that though everything looks like ruin and destruction, yet we are most clearly taught by these things that his kingdom is not of this world; and we presently hear, "I am the resurrection and the life."
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 374
(To Mr. Harrow) Sutton Coldfield, 7 July 1847.
I cannot express what I feel respecting that certain king who made a marriage for his son (Matthew 22:2-14). I am sure there could be no happiness added to him; it must be infinite compassion that moved his tender heart to contrive such happiness for rebels and miserable sinners. He provides and sends servants to call guests to the wedding. I am sure I have no cause to find fault with the almost universal refusal of this wonderful invitation. I am well paid for my trouble as a servant, not in temporal tithes, but in sweet and heavenly visits when he gives me the invitations to deliver. I am so continually refreshed, and so often comforted with a few that listen, that I am quite satisfied with my wages. What is still more surprising, I am not only a servant, but also allowed to be a guest; not put at a distance to look at the feast, but a real partaker of the oxen and fatlings; and surely if they who refuse had the appetite that sanctified afflictions have given to me, they could not make light of it. What can be more delightful to a hungry soul than to know that the fatted calf is slain for him, and hear the Lord himself say, "Let us eat and be merry"? I know not how to write, my heart is so full to think I do not make light of it, but esteem it sweeter and dearer to me than ten thousand natural lives. It is astonishing to see how many make light of it, and the trifling excuses they make and offer to the eternal God; and not content with this, they must also spitefully use such as cannot make the same.
A few there are who for some cause or other break through many things, and bear a good deal of reproach, yet seem neither broken-hearted nor sincere. These for a while sit down with the disciples of Christ; but when the King comes in to look at the guests, then it appears who fear God and who in heart have not that divine principle; for he sits as a refiner, and comes near to judgment. The Lord tells us for our comfort that when he sifts the church of God, not the least grain shall fall and be lost. Christ's eyes, like a flame of fire looking straight at the hypocritical heart, make the false professor speechless; and woe to such as are bound in this condition, for they have not the Lord Jesus Christ for their Friend, and none else can help them; therefore they are cast into outer darkness. O how refreshing to the spirit did I find the heavenly testimony that I had obtained of the Lord Jesus that divine robe which would completely hide me from the wrath of God, and make me acceptable in his sight, and one in whom he would delight!
In reading Isaiah 10:24-27, the Lord showed me the power of the enemy was great; but he bids his people not to be afraid; it shall be but "a very little while," and the Lord will stir up a scourge for him that smote them, and take his burden from off their shoulder, and his yoke from off their neck, "and the yoke shall be destroyed because of the anointing." O sweet and precious anointing! This is the holy oil poured upon the head of Christ our Spiritual Aaron, which descends to us, the very fag end of all his garments. It reconciles every cross, and sweetens every bitter. O what beautiful, divine, and spiritual liberty it brings into the heart, and what a clear perception it creates of the meaning of all such passages as this, "Let us eat and be merry!" "O righteous Father, the world has not known you," said Jesus (nor does it know any of these sweet things), "but I have known you; and these have known that you have sent me," even sent me to them, "that they all may be one, as you Father are in me, and I in you, that they may be one in us" (John 17:21-26).
So prays your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 375
(To the Rev. C. Jeffreys) Sutton Coldfield, 18 July 1847.
My dear Friend,
My cousin has given me an account of your preaching at Birkenhead. I myself have been, and often am, in very intricate circumstances, and therefore am often thinking of you and others who are in very trying places. I have never doubted of your safe leading, of your being in the strong hand of the Lord; and I believe that he will unfold his hidden purposes in all directions, so that you shall one day admire his wisdom. I have never yet thought you have come to the place where the Lord designs you to abide. As a minister you have many lessons to learn; and to be profitable, there is no school so good as the school of adversity. The kindest word that ever was spoken was to the man at the bottom of the table, "Friend, go up higher." When the great Haman listened with ardency to the king, "What shall be done unto the man whom the king delights to honor?" this was spoken not for him, but for the poor despised Mordecai. I have found many such things in life.
The Lord puts us into many places that we may learn the habit of watching his hand. You may say, with Elijah, "I have been very jealous for the Lord God of Hosts." But, "Behold the Lord passed by; and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind, an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake, a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire, a still small voice. And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle." I think I know and have felt the same, and am not able to describe my mingled feelings at such a time; the discovery of my sin, and of God's holiness, uniting with much contrition and godly sorrow, and working a sweet sense of the loving-kindness and tender mercy of the Lord, which softens and spiritualizes my heart to receive the impression of his word with great awe and holy reverence. This does not come with reproof, but with the tender care of a Brother "born for adversity", who is touched with the feeling of all our infirmities, and means to protect and direct us in all our ways, however intricate they may appear. In a sober watchfulness of these things we shall certainly find fresh openings and new discoveries of the Lord's merciful and kind will toward us. We are all too soon disheartened by appearances, and apt to draw hasty conclusions, especially if matters appear bright at the onset. How many testimonies of this kind are left on record in the Word of God!
We read that "Zacharias was filled with the Holy Spirit, and prophesied, saying, Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, for he has visited and redeemed his people . . . And you, child, shall be called the prophet of the Highest; for you shall go before the face of the Lord to prepare his ways." Yet how soon are we told that Herod laid hold on John, and his head was brought in a charger. Such are the incomprehensible ways of God, who makes no mistakes.
We also read, "There were shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night; and lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them." What a discovery was this of the glory of God in what he was about to do: "Unto you is born this day, in the city of David, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord." "And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, and goodwill toward men." We then have Simeon's testimony, and what was brought to his soul; and it is said, "Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man." Then when he came to John's baptism, the heavens were opened to declare, "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased." And now it is written for your comfort and mine, that when thus full of the love and approbation of the Father, he was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, to be tempted of the devil; so that you and I are not to conclude that we are forgotten of God if for a season we are led into a wilderness condition for the trial of our faith and the exercise of patience. For here was Jesus preparing for his ministry, and at length he "returned in the power of the Spirit". Then we see the beautiful simplicity of his doctrine; the gentleness with which he proceeds, and tells his hearers that the Spirit of the Lord had anointed him to preach the gospel to the poor; to heal the broken-hearted; to preach the acceptable year of the Lord; and it is said, "All bear him witness, and wondered at the gracious words which proceeded out of his mouth." We are then told of many miracles, and many sermons, and the wonderful power that was displayed in them all. Yet at length, when his disciples were with him alone, he told them there would be a change, and notwithstanding all the glory, and all the wonderful testimonies on his behalf, "the Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be slain, and be raised the third day." The heavy tidings which he announced against such as presumed to set their faces against the way of the Lord, the judgments that should overtake his enemies, and the discriminating discoveries which he made, separating the vile from the precious, brought upon him the vengeance of those old professors hardened in sin, and pretended evangelical teachers, and they sought how they might kill him; and we perceive that Satan entered into one who was conversant with his ways, and where he was accustomed to resort, and forthwith he communed with the chief priests how he might betray Jesus unto them.
What shall we say to these things? Did they befall the Savior because he was wrong in the onset? That is generally the way in which Satan attacks us when trouble comes. But the whole course of our Savior's life and ministry is left on record that we may not despair. Paul says, that as the children of God we are joint-heirs with Christ, "if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together." False witnesses arose and said, This fellow does and says many things. The whole multitude were fierce against the disturber of the peace; the chief priests stood and vehemently accused him; all sorts made friends together and united against him, each armed with a breastplate of iron. Pilate would have scourged him and let him go, but the ministers of religion could not allow that, so Pilate must submit, and sentence was passed. After this, it is said, he cried with a loud voice, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Surely these things have not been written in vain, but that we may "read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest them", and remember that the world hated him, before it hated us.
If the enemy can persuade us, or entangle us in our thoughts, to believe that the difficulties which arise are in consequence of the Lord's displeasure, then we are brought into bondage and forced to carry a heavy burden. But if we with the apostle Peter can feel that there is a need for these manifold trials, then they will prove our best times, and be the means by which the Lord will keep us spiritually minded, and nearer to him. I find it hard work to stand my ground under trials, and feel a sore and painful readiness to believe that the Lord now means to bring me to destruction for my presumption. But if trials ensuing are always to be the proof of wrong proceedings, what is to become of all the glory at the beginning of the Savior's appearance?
I believe the Lord will not let us have anything to glory in, only himself. If we get out of trouble it shall be by some very humbling token of his favor, that shall not make us walk in pride, but teach us to put our mouths lower and lower in the dust. If the Savior had been left in the tomb, we might have despaired; but we see him conversing with his disciples very soon after his enemies had, as they thought, made him sure in the tomb.
And now he bids us to expect tribulation, but to be of good cheer; for he has overcome the world, with all the spite and malice it could muster. Keep your eyes steadily upon him; he will go before us, and will also be our rereward. Remember how he taught his disciples to pray, "Our Father," that is, "My Father and your Father." Hallow that name, and seek to maintain fresh and lively tokens of your belonging to his kingdom. Beg grace for spiritual obedience, and to feel that the Lord's will is your best guide; and do not seek too far beforehand for anything, but say, "Give us this day our daily bread." Let no day pass without a crumb. So you will keep a healthy appetite, and know how to go to him in temptation, with this bread fresh in your heart, and a secret hope of help and deliverance; and then will follow the glory and praise due, and all afflictions will be sanctified, and yield the peaceable fruits of righteousness.
The Lord be with you.
From your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 376
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) , Sutton Coldfield, 3 September 1847.
My dear Friend,
I shall endeavor to reply to your last three letters concerning yourself; and I must acknowledge if there be a way that the Lord marks for his people, and I have ever rightly understood that way, it is a path of tribulation, and full of the changes you describe. If I may speak of myself, I find none so abject; and often fear the changes to which I am subject will not prove the changes of the Lord's people. The spiritual anxiety you describe always shows to me a conscience quickened by the Spirit of God; worldly professors feel no need of this, nor think anything wrong, if outward things be but polished. Outward things are their substance; but we feel a wounded conscience, which none can bear. That wound is given that we may come to the pool to get the healing; but we find that while others step in and are healed we are left to deplore the sorrow we often labor under, and sometimes wonder how sweetly others are fed by our sorrowful preaching. This sort of leading leaves no room for boasting; I feel everybody before me in tenderness, humility, godly fear, and spiritual understanding, and often wonder why one so incompetent is sent to instruct poor souls that have such a lively appetite. But is it not thus that the Lord destroys the wisdom of the pretended wise, and brings to nothing the understanding of the prudent? For where is the wise? Surely he is in the flesh, and far from God. God chooses the foolish things to confound the wise, that no flesh should glory in his presence. If there be any profiting to appear from our preaching it must be through our coming in weakness and in fear and in much trembling, lest the Lord (as you write) judge us; and who may abide when he sits as a refiner? I often tremble at this; but I inquire whether my troubles are sanctified so as to increase life. I do not ask whether my joy and comfort be increased, but whether there is an increase in my secret mourning before God; whether I am brought to much contrition; and whether this works spiritual-mindedness. These things cause us to die to the spirit of the world, and make our ministry profitable to the afflicted.
It is terrible to me when the Lord will not look upon me, but sensibly withdraws his ear from my prayers. It produces a leanness that is evident; and then I can do nothing but proclaim it to my shame, both in my prayers and preaching. This is very humbling, and the Lord designs it should be so. When I can accept from my heart the punishment of my iniquity then the Lord kindly takes off my chains, and bids me go free. Then I know there is mercy with him that he may be feared.
I must say with you, I fear it will be worse and worse to the end. Every new discovery of sin by the Holy Spirit will make us find an increase in our feeling that it is an evil and bitter thing to sin against God; and the darkness it brings will be worse and worse. I conceive that the more heavenly light we have the more it must have this effect, until it makes us sick of ourselves and sick of our sins. This is being crucified, and a terrible death it is. The Spirit within us discovers a love to sin in the old man; its cravings are exceedingly strong; and the new man has only just strength enough and none to spare, and often appears to be foiled; but here lies our victory: nothing in Heaven above, or earth or Hell beneath, can persuade the new man to justify sin. The secret conflict manifests itself by cutting convictions and terrible fears. The Lord makes use of these that the voice of the new man may not be entirely silenced, though at times it seems nearly so until some horrible opening of God's displeasure darts into the soul, and then comes a cry from the heart, "God be merciful to me a sinner!" We read in the parable of the prodigal the various exercises which I have now been attempting to describe, and for want of which thousands enter into a vain profession, and perish in it. May the Lord stand by you, and keep your soul alive in the midst of all these discoveries of sin; and that life which is hid with Christ in God will carry us safely through.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 377
(To Mr. Harrow) Sutton Coldfield, 17 September 1847.
My dear Friend,
Yesterday was the day for our first visit to Aldridge. My subject was from the prophet Joel, "Blow you the trumpet in Zion, sound an alarm in my holy mountain; let all the inhabitants of the land tremble; for the day of the Lord comes." I first showed the people that this trumpet is the gospel faithfully preached, which cannot be except it bring an alarm; for we must declare the Lord turns man to destruction before he bids him return and live. When the Lord shoots an arrow of conviction his design is that the man should tremble, and sooner or later understand that the day of the Lord is come indeed. He feels it is "a day of darkness and gloominess", for nothing is seen nor felt but the dreadful evil of sin, and God's wrath revealed against it in a broken law, which raises many mountains between God and the soul, and they are covered with heavy clouds. This is called a very terrible day; yet the trumpet must sound an alarm, and declare, None can be perfectly saved until he feels himself utterly lost (Joel 2:2:11; Psalm 90:3).
But again the Lord says, "Blow the trumpet in Zion," and encourage poor sinners who feel their sad condition to assemble; tell them that the Bridegroom, Jesus Christ, steps forth and says, "Spare your people, O Lord, and give not your heritage to reproach." Suffer not the sin of their nature to "rule over them", and bind them down in unbelief. "Then will the Lord be jealous for his land, and pity his people." "Fear not, O land," ploughed up and sown; "the Lord will do great things." He will bring you into sanctified affliction, and teach you and instruct you in the way you should go; and neither the vanities of the world, nor the corruptions of the heart, shall prevent his work from being carried on. "The pastures of the wilderness", that is a heart no better than a wilderness, barren and unfruitful, shall have their briers and thorns burnt up by sanctified afflictions, and the grass shall spring, through the showers of his grace, and the fruit shall be seen. In the midst of much weakness and opposition his strength shall be manifest; and there will be a sensible growing, by reason of these repeated rains falling upon the poor sinner's heart, and a fruitfulness which will show itself to be of the Lord by its undoing the wretched evils which "the locust, the cankerworm, the palmerworm, and the caterpillar" had brought in. These had defiled everything, and left no trace of the work of God; but when the Lord comes to destroy all these enemies, though it be by the rod of affliction, yet, according to his Word, it yields the peaceable fruits of righteousness, and creates a spiritual appetite, which the Lord says shall be satisfied. "You shall eat in plenty, and praise the name of the Lord your God that has dealt wondrously with you." Though he has turned us to destruction, and we have feared that it would prove finally so, yet he has returned when he has effectually humbled us, and told us we should never be ashamed (Joel 2:15-27).
This is the only way in which the Lord becomes "the hope of his people", and their strength in time of need; and the work is known to be his by a sober watchfulness of what continually goes in and out of the door of our hearts; and if an unwelcome visitor offer to enter, with whom the Lord will not reside, then the sentinel, the fear of God, steps forth, with much entreaty of the Lord, that such "strangers" may not make a forcible entrance, but be totally rejected and driven away. This is the true effect of a work of grace, and a sure token that we have heard the alarm, and have entered the Rock and hid ourselves (Joel 3:16, 17).
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 378
Sutton Coldfield, 13 October 1847.
Dear Mrs. Newey,
Has not the Lord timed your afflictions beautifully? He first instructed you in the path of life and showed you the difference between a profession of religion, which everybody admires, and the real possession, which you see is everywhere abhorred, and of which it is written in the Acts, "We know that it is everywhere spoken against." Yet as then there were some who believed, so there are now a few that by the grace of God can discriminate.
May I ask where you learned this mighty difference, which the vulture's eye cannot see? Was it not in the sharp furnace of sanctified afflictions? Were you not satisfied with your self-complacency, and without a suspicion of the depth of that fountain of evil in your heart, until God looked at you through the cloud, and set your chariot wheels, in which you rode sky-high in a profession, completely fast? In this place the Egyptians were drowned, but you, by the mercy of God, were taught David's prayer, "Out of the depths have I cried unto you, O Lord," feeling that if he should mark the newly-discovered evil of your nature, you must perish; and you found that there was forgiveness with him that he might be feared. Sweet tastes of this mercy have won your heart, and enabled you to cry, You have done all things well; you have broken down many idols, and put me into many furnaces, but you have always gone before me, and have yourself been with me, and with your sweet presence have cheered the rugged path, and often turned the very night to day. Therefore you say, "Let Israel hope in the Lord;" for you know full well there is mercy with him, and plenteous redemption (Psalm 130). Thus he satisfies his poor with the bread of Heaven, and casts out all sorrow of the world; and now and then he comes and says, "It is I, be not afraid." This gives fresh courage; and though the gate be very strait, yet the Lord being our strength we make our way through, leaving many filthy rags behind, which thousands cannot part with, and therefore stop on the wrong side, and perish forever. Paul's sweet advice to Timothy I send to you, my dear friend: "You therefore be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus;" and "Endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ." "Consider what I say, and the Lord give you understanding in all things."
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 379
(To — ) Sutton Coldfield, 10 November 1847.
My dear Sir,
You seem to be seeking for a righteousness which is never to be found in the way that you describe. That righteousness which is of the law, the apostle tells us, is no better than dung. Your great mistake, and the darkness you lie under, appears to be in consequence of too much wisdom, and yet not that wisdom which is profitable to direct. You seem to be skipping over what the apostle calls the first rudiments. Many of the things you mention are only to be learned of the Father; and you seemingly are not aware that, if you had learned them of the Father, you would come with more childlike simplicity unto the Son. If the Spirit of truth had entered your heart, you would have heard a sweet and welcome invitation from the Lord Jesus Christ: "Come unto me, all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Do not struggle so hard by dint of human wisdom to attain to divine things, but hearken to the Lord who says, "Without me you can do nothing;" he can presently settle your troubles and fears; and the sweet feeling of coming to Jesus Christ softens the spirit, and makes it like wax to receive the impression of his word.
For want of this your teachers are hidden (Isaiah 30:26), and your mind is confused and blinded, which shows that you are not in that spiritual liberty of which the children of God are partakers, when strengthened with all might, according to the Lord's glorious power, and delivered from "the power of darkness". I sometimes think that, if you fully understood the power of darkness, you would come by a short cut, and cry, "God be merciful to me a sinner." Then no doubt you would more clearly understand what it is to be translated by the Father from the kingdom of darkness (in which you have so long groped), "into the kingdom of his dear Son". This would bring you to a sweet and saving knowledge that you have "redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins" (Colossians 1:11-14). If once you could attain to this, which is truly called "the light of life", you would find God's Word a lamp to your feet and a light to your path. Could you but once get the love of God in your heart, it would have such a constraining power as would make your will straight with his in all things.
You describe some perilous things, which show me you are not yet sufficiently aware of God's holiness and majesty, and of that vast, eternal ruin which is close at your heels if you manifest a giving up. Pray remember this. If your heart trembles at the thought, it is written, None shall pluck you out of his hands; but surely, my friend, you must not trifle, lest it should be said, Cut down this fruitless tree. Say you, I by no means wish to trifle. I add, Then make sure of your teachers, and do not show such weakness and want of answers to prayer as you do by attending to so many who cry, Lo here! or Lo there! Excuse me; I am exceedingly jealous of you, and fear you dishonor God by following too much your own wisdom. May the Lord direct you, and have mercy upon you for Christ's sake.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 380
(To Mr. T. S.) Sutton Coldfield, 18 November 1847.
Dear Friend,
How precious is the love of God in the heart, and to be overcome with the sense of his mercy! What self-loathing it creates and deep humiliation before him! The meditation of my subject for Aldridge (John 11:28-44) has been very sweet. These words entered my heart and spoke personally to me: "The Master is come and calls for you." As soon as Mary heard that, she arose quickly; and so did I. The Lord armed my heart with a sense of his peculiar presence, and it seemed to say, Arise, from all cares, from self and the world, and shine, for your light is come; for the glory of Christ's grace and mercy has risen upon you; and the gross darkness which is upon the world at large shall be removed from you (Isaiah 60:1, 2). Every discovery of the glory of Christ will humble the sinner in the dust. As soon as Mary saw Jesus she fell down at his feet, and so do I, while I desire to adore his holy name on every display of his power and Godhead. With every word of such a King there is power and authority. Jesus said, "Take you away the stone," and though there might be some hesitation and no little carnal reasoning, yet the stone was taken away; and so it is with us. There is often a cold stone upon our hearts, and many reasonings how it can be removed; but here it is that the Spirit helps our infirmities, and works a measure of faith to believe we shall feel the glory and efficacy of his all-powerful grace, which, when it reaches the hardest heart, will soften it, and make the poor soul with me proclaim,
"Guardian of your helpless sheep,
Jesus, Almighty Lord,
You can soften hearts of stone,
And make your word take root."It is written, "Jesus lifted up his eyes and said, Father, I thank you that you have heard me;" and he cried with a loud voice, "Lazarus, come forth." O how many loud voices have cried out to us, and how deaf many of us have been to them! His voice has been in many waters of affliction, to which we have foolishly turned a deaf ear; yet the Lord will work, and none shall let. He has said, "All that the Father gives me shall come to me;" and whatever binds the poor soul shall give way at the word of our King. It shall not be going to church for twenty years and saying, "We are tied and bound with the chain of our sins;" but "Great is your mercy toward me, and you have delivered my soul from the lowest Hell." This comes as soon as the Savior says, "Loose him and let him go;" for whom the Son makes free is free indeed.
I found sweet liberty in preaching, and a peace more abundant that I can express when I finished, as if the Lord assured me of his merciful presence and approbation.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 381
(To R. B. B.) Sutton Coldfield, 20 November 1847.
Dear R.,
I have kept your letter in sight ever since you wrote it, that I might reply in due time. No doubt you, like the rest of us, find a time of sickness a searching time, and that it is no small thing to be called to the bar of God. I have a continual awe upon my spirit on this subject, and nothing short of an assurance that the Lord has cast my sins into the depths of the sea can compose my mind or reconcile me to that dark valley; but when the Lord is my light and my salvation, then there can be no fear.
I would entreat you to cherish a tender conscience. Foolish professors that know nothing aright call it a temptation, and when they are lashed for their hypocrisy, this is also called a temptation. They presume, like the horse rushing into the battle, and claim what was never given them. The bit and bridle was never upon their conscience, therefore they rush on; but not in the narrow way that leads unto life. They call a tender conscience unbelief, and say that it is wicked to doubt; but alas, I feel no power to believe until the Spirit works faith in my heart, which is the gift of God. When this faith is in exercise I can believe that God is just and holy, and this makes me tremble; and until a further power of faith is given, to stretch forth my withered hand, I lie disconsolate and hopeless; but when Jesus appears and puts away my sin, then my faith is seen to work by love, and has a sweet constraining power upon every faculty of my soul. I then believe everything that God has spoken, and all that the apostle says of charity becomes my own; "Charity bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things; charity never fails." May it please God to give you this true charity, for it will cast out all fear and torment.
"It is good for a man to bear the yoke in his youth;" that is, it is good that you should be made to see the exceeding sinfulness of sin, that you may learn to loathe yourself on account of it, and not think lightly of anything that grieves the Spirit of God. The religion of lifeless professors is only seen and heard in religious company, or merely put on as a cover on Sundays. They have no real spiritual life in secret; no communion between God and the soul, which is what I would have you seek above all things.
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 382
Sutton Coldfield, 30 November 1847.
Dear Mrs. Tims,
I always feel, if any sickness comes on, it is the last; for at my advanced age I conclude that now I am going the way of all flesh. This makes me to stand in awe. It is a serious thing to die, for as it is said in Joshua, "You have not passed this way heretofore." We are led to watch whether the Lord will do wonders for us, as he did for Joshua, that we too may "stand still in Jordan", and see the salvation of God. If we can perceive Christ the Living Ark before us, we feel it safe ground to set our feet in the print of his; and this will dry up all the bitter waters, and make the passage easy. Jordan often overflows all his banks at such times; but feeling the bottom sound, and the foot well fixed on the Rock, we pass over dry shod. It is a great mercy that the Lord has ordered the Ark of the Covenant to remain in the midst of Jordan until all the people are "passed clean over", and the High Priest of our profession declares that all is finished. If it be asked what is the cause of this divine power being manifest in the behalf of such poor worms of earth as we are, we can but say, sovereign grace and mercy. The Red Sea also was against us, but the Lord of all the earth dried it up before us. You and I may well say, Why for me? Shall I find it so to the end? The Lord most assuredly encourages us to hope, declaring he does this "that all the people of the earth might know the hand of the Lord, that it is mighty; that you might fear the Lord your God forever", who is mighty to save (Joshua 3 and 4:24).
I have of late often looked back on the way the Lord has led me, how many unfathomable depths where thousands have sunk into despair he has brought me through, and in what a wilderness condition he has often found me, and yet saved me from the hand of all my enemies; so that, as the Psalmist says, "The waters covered our enemies, there was not one of them left." How have we seen the earth to open and swallow up many who seemed to have made a fair beginning, while we, fearing and all but despairing, have been spared to declare the riches, power, and efficacy of free grace! Who could have thought that I should have been so tossed about in life, and should be spared at my advanced age to set forth the wonders of God's love, and to find a people in a strange country that receive the testimony, and make it manifest that they are truly the children of God? Not only so, but that I should be greatly comforted and often filled with the sweet power of his love, a touch of which I found while writing to you about Jordan being dried up. I really find the Lord very near when I am in any extremity, and desire that you may find the same, and that he will not remove from your heart until you are passed clean over Jordan.
I sometimes secretly regret that I shall never see my Hertford friends again; yet I am more anxious to trace and follow the footsteps of divine providence. The Lord's presence compensates for every deprivation. I am glad you have found his visits frequent. Be sure you covet them, and cherish them. Honor the Lord when he comes, reverence what he says, and stand in holy awe of his majesty, that the fear of God may be kept tenderly alive.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 383
(To C. B.) Sutton Coldfield, 18 December 1847.
My dear C.,
I have often thought of your various exercises, and the manner in which Satan binds you down in so much misery and bondage. Watts may well ask the question,
"Why should the children of a King
Go mourning all their days?"The children of a King must depend upon him for their daily support, but it is hard for you and me to learn this. We often think ourselves rich and independent, and the Lord will not cease to make us know we are "wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked". You know as well as I do that "theirs is the kingdom of Heaven", and that "the Lord will maintain the cause of the afflicted, and the right of the poor". You well know that the Lord has many times applied this to your conscience, and made you to feel and acknowledge that you have been adopted into his family, and are therefore an heir of God, and joint-heir with Jesus Christ. This constitutes our right to the kingdom; and this our grand adversary is always aiming to becloud, knowing that if he can make us stagger at this point, we dishonor God, lose all our comfort, and become alarmed and dismayed, and our hope is removed like a tree. Then we begin to lie against our right, and disclaim all the Lord has done for us; and in this state we should finally despair, did not the Lord show us that we are "predestined unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ unto himself, according to the good pleasure of his will" (not ours, nor the devil's), "to the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he has made us accepted in the Beloved". This is the way we are redeemed, and on this account he will maintain our standing.
We have continual need of praying that we may bring forth more fruit, but he never takes from us his Holy Spirit. We are not aware in these low places that we should never mourn if the Spirit did not help our infirmities; and if we watch, we shall find the Spirit leading our minds under the most trying circumstances not to forget our adoption; for although we are poor, yet his poor have a right which they must claim in their greatest extremities, and hope will spring up that it is no vain thing so to do. The mind will go out in inquiries, Has not the Lord promised? Has he not appeared? Has he not assured me he would never leave me nor forsake me? Did he not at such a time give me such an evidence as I dare not dispute? Lord, did you not really do so for me when on the very point of despair? The Spirit will always help our infirmity to bring these things before the Lord, and he will never disprove, but often acknowledge he really did them, and that "he hates putting away".
Thus are our drooping evidences renewed. The repetition of them creates a holy confidence that surely we are true children of God; and we must struggle hard not to lie against this right, and watch most tenderly not to be found walking in anything wherein we feel the Lord checks us. I often think if you were carefully to watch your feelings, you would find you don't really believe all the wretchedness and unbelief you write, but there is a secret something that whispers in your conscience that your soul loathes sin, because it is so constantly hiding the Lord from you. Then I say it is the Holy Spirit in you which works that loathing, and makes you cry with the apostle, "O wretched man that I am!" This is life. This is the cry of a son, not a bastard. You don't tell all the good you know, and you add more bad than you believe; and this is the reason I write to you, that you may learn not to mutter many things against the Lord. You know he is ever more ready to hear and help, than you are to pray; think not that he will do nothing but burden you with grief.
I have written what may justly lead you to inquire how I fare in these things. I must acknowledge I think few are more cast down than I am. I am generally in a low place, and have very sad and woeful discoveries of the sin of my nature and the unprofitableness of my life. Yet I must say, this does not hide from me my adoption, but makes me the more earnestly plead it, and consider deeply the right which the Lord constitutes to such, the privilege of confession, not with the fear of damnation, but with the grief of a prodigal son returning to a tender Father. This always fills me with shame and contrition, and humbles me in the dust, and keeps me down in godly sorrow; and when the power of unceasing temptation beclouds me again, which is repeatedly the case, I do not look for destruction, but cry for mercy, and still feel, "I will arise and go to my Father."
I have often noticed (and have wondered at it), that wherever I find the Word of God speaking of the right of his children, or of the spiritual liberty they have in Christ, I always feel a liberty given me to claim it, plead for it, and give the Lord no rest until he makes me rejoice in it. I have often a sweet evidence of my sonship in this very thing, and desire to bless God for it, and would earnestly desire the same for you. But with this I have also a contrary feeling, evidently perceiving two contrary principles working at the same time, and a continual readiness to apply to the new man what belongs to the old man alone, and under this temptation, through the power of unbelief, to give up all comfort.
O how often the Holy Spirit has shown me the dreadful and awful condition of my soul in his sight in my first-born state! How often has he crushed all my pretended goodness, and made me feel I am indeed utterly lost! This stops all glorying in the flesh, and all saying, "For my righteousness the Lord has brought me in to possess this land." No! says the Lord, "Not for your righteousness . . . for you are a stiff-necked people." "I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember your sins."
Foolish and light professors say that this doctrine makes us careless in our life and walk. I am sure nothing ever broke my spirit or brought down my pride and conceit more than this great love. It makes me so ashamed of myself, and puts such a tender fear into my heart, that I am almost afraid of my own shadow. I have often been grieved at some among us, who can keep up acquaintance with such as I know must bring them into darkness before they have been half an hour in their company; yet will they break through that hedge. But their spirit is light, except just when conscience cuts them down. "The Lord has brought you out with a mighty hand, and redeemed you out of the house of bondmen;" therefore these idols must be utterly destroyed.
I do not know whether you will understand what I have written, but my desire is that you may come to the saving knowledge of your election being of God, and that you may be able to walk, having on that beautiful breastplate called faith and love, "and for an helmet the hope of salvation; for God has not appointed us unto wrath, but to obtain salvation by our Lord Jesus Christ"; and that whatever afflictions overtake you, you may know that your life is hid with Christ in God, and that when he shall appear, then shall you also appear with him in glory.
From your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 384
(To James Bourne) Sutton Coldfield, 14 January 1848.
Dear J.,
I was more sorrowful and cast down than ever this morning, fearing all things would come to nothing with me. I groaned out my troubles in secret, but seemed to have no hope of relief, yet ceased not to cry to the Lord. I thought all who passed by would begin to laugh and say, "This man began to build" (spiritually) "but was not able to finish." A long list of things were set before me, all of them high mountains and impassable difficulties, so that I could not see how any comfort could make such crooked things straight. But at length the Lord broke in through this cloud, and surprised me by showing me his presence is salvation (Psalm 42:5, margin); and then I knew not how to bless and praise him enough. I wept tears of contrition until my eyes were quite sore, and I had such a beautiful view of the Lord's approbation and presence and blessing as quite to satisfy me that he had called me hither, and to give me a humble hope that he would provide for me and clear all my steps. Oh, my dear friend, I found this safe work; it made up for all my sorrow. But I have still a secret fear that I write too much and too often to my friends, and that my pen will be thought too ready.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 385
(To the Rev. W. Maddy) Sutton Coldfield, 18 January 1848.
My dear Friend,
I am made very seriously to ponder my way, and to call to mind many things which the Lord has spoken to me in times past. This morning a most dreadful flood of fear came upon me suddenly, but I cried to the Lord and he heard me and delivered me from it. I was pondering this, and wondered if there was a sensible cause for it, and these words came with sweet encouragement: "When the enemy comes in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard against him." I saw great beauty in this, and great mercy, because I felt the Lord brought it to my heart for comfort.
As is usual, this Tuesday evening I have been alone, seeking for my Wednesday evening's subject; and this week I have the addition of Aldridge on Thursday. I entered my room not joyous, but very desirous of finding the Lord, and, to my surprise, he came down "like rain upon the mown grass", which gave me sweet life and courage to seek out and prepare my subjects. I found my labors sweet and easy, and when I had finished, I began to ponder many promises which the Lord had given me some years back, and I reasoned, Would these have been given if the Lord had intended that I should fail of them all? Something seemed to say, No; but I said, O Lord, do you say that they shall not fail? (Then the Lord came and more than filled my soul with his tender love.) You did tell me you would never leave me until you had fulfilled all that you had promised me, and that no evil should befall me, to cause you to revoke your word. What can I render to the Lord for such mercies? Ah, but shall I ever know what those words mean which you have so often spoken to me: "You, which have showed me great and sore troubles, shall quicken me again, and bring me up again from the depths of the earth, and comfort me on every side"? O how willing I felt most modestly (as it were) to free the Lord from this, as a poor unworthy worm; but he would heap upon me such an assurance of his favor that I could not set it aside, and told me that it was really meant even for me. I then felt such words as these, which are scattered through all the Bible: "Not for your sakes do I this, but for my own great name's sake;" and they led me to feel that all this mercy was for broken-hearted sinners, not for saints, and my soul was wrapped up, as it were, in the sweet contemplation of the Lord's mercy; and I poured out my heart in prayer for the people here and at Aldridge; and now while writing I can only use the words of the apostles, it is a "joy unspeakable", and a "peace that passes all understanding". "O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God, how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!"
I cannot express the deep sorrow, trouble, and fear I fall into, and out of these depths I cry; and surely if the Lord were extreme I must fall, "but there is forgiveness with you that you may be feared," and I find the sweet truth of his word and promise, "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy;" for the Lord makes it sweetly manifest that I bear the precious incorruptible seed, and often return again and again to rejoicing. It makes my labors here very serious, and my ministry; it is felt to be so; and there are a few who bear witness to the power of it, and find the Lord is very near to them, and teaches them to hear with fear.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 386
(To W. B.) Sutton Coldfield, 29 March 1848.
My dear W.,
I have often thought my doleful letters must be very unwelcome, and therefore have refrained, lest I should discourage my friends. I have never found my portion among the smooth stones of the stream (Isaiah 57:6), but often among the floods of great waters; and these have lifted up their heads as if I must be drowned; but (blessed be God) I have found the truth of that sweet promise: "When you pass through the waters I will be with you;" this has been my safety: and it is no small thing to have it said to the poor trembling soul, "I am the Lord your God; the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;" this has been and is my stay in all my fears. I have sometimes felt like this: I am now sinking in mind, and know where the world sink who have no God; I feel despair must follow; but my heart is up unto the Lord in the midst of this horror of great darkness. Shall I sink? I will both watch and cry; and blessed be his holy name, in this place the Lord has renewed his covenant of mercy with me (as he did with Abraham of old), and has redoubled it over and over to clear away all clouds and to assure me that he will never forsake me. "Since you were precious in my sight you have been honorable, and I have loved you;" yes, with an everlasting love. This is the language of the Lord, who "makes a way in the sea, and a path in the mighty waters". The Lord says these are new things; yes, I am sure you and I know the world cannot get at these secrets; his visits are always new and fresh and reviving; and he condescends to put these things beyond buts and ifs. "Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it?" I will make a way through your wilderness heart, and rivers shall spring up where heretofore it has been a desert, and where no man could dwell. I have formed you for myself, and I will take care that you shall show forth my praise. O my dear friend, be often putting the Lord in remembrance of these things, for he invites us so to plead with him (Isaiah 43:2-26; Jeremiah 31:3).
I assure you I can scarcely see to write, my weeping eyes shed tears of contrition under the sensible assurance of the Lord's infinite love and mercy to me—nothing in sight but love and mercy. I wish I could send you a part; you would find it a goodly portion.
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 387
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) Sutton Coldfield, 29 March 1848.
My dear Friend,
I am shut up alone in my little retired chapel: I have lighted my fire, but the Lord has warmed my heart. I hear the whole world is in a tumult, and I tremble for England; men are so universally taken up with errors, and departed from the simplicity of the truth, the divine power of which is the life of my body and soul. O my God, what can I render unto you for such unheard of mercies, that I am not following the multitude in turning to idols? Surely it is because you have put me into the furnace, and taught me to cry, and the cry of the poor you do always hear.
"The gardener has long patience," but I quickly fear all is over with me; yet notwithstanding all my God-dishonoring fears he tells me again and again that "seed time and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night, shall not cease;" and this is like a bank-note given to trade with; it helps my infirmities according to the mind of God, and I am often brought out of sad places even with the promise of some future help, and I perceive the truth of that saying: "His presence is salvation" (Psalm 42:5 margin).
How I am made to feel for the people to whom I preach, and to mourn over their confusion and obstinacy! It is as the Lord says, "You will not come unto me that you might have life." But "God has chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise, and the weak things of the world to confound the mighty." He will have such as are real partakers of the grace of life to be deeply humbled, and always keep in mind that it is nothing else but free sovereign grace which makes the difference; and he asks, "What have you that you have not received?" I am made a servant of all work to wait upon the afflicted sheep of Christ, and take heed that they are fed; but how can this be, if I obtain no food for myself? and how can it be proper food, if not roasted in the fire? This reconciles affliction: "Whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation."
The Lord has given me a sweet subject (Malachi 4:2) for the evening, and has made me to know the truth of it by the healing power that is conveyed to my soul. "Unto you that fear my name," is very sweet and precious, and leaves a heavenly savor upon my heart that the Lord has put that divine grace there; the influence of it is very softening, and I feel it beautifully exemplified in Abraham offering up his son Isaac. The Lord himself said, "Now I know that you fear God, seeing that you have not withheld your son, your only son;" and the issue was, "in blessing I will bless you." So I perceive there is a sweet safety in spiritual obedience; the Lord never suffers us to be losers by it, but gives a hundred-fold. "The Sun of righteousness shall arise." If you ask, Upon whom shall he arise? I answer, Upon the oppressed poor and the sighing needy, and will set them in safety from all their enemies. Only be sure and take heed while this Sun shines that we walk in the light of it, and not by an untender walk bring on darkness; for the Lord said, "Yet a little while is the light with you," and then "he departed and did hide himself from them" (John 12:35, 36).
You and I have often found, to our sad surprise, that when sweetly enjoying communion with him he has vanished out of our sight, and then the Sun seems to set, for all is gloomy when he is gone; but he, to encourage us, says "I will see you again;" only this will be through many entreaties, and not a few misgiving fears; and when he does come we always find a song of praise for the healing efficacy of his returning love. "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits; who forgives all your iniquities; who heals all your diseases; who redeems your life from destruction; who crowns you with loving-kindness and tender mercies." This is my sweet labor in this secret corner.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 388
Sutton Coldfield, 31 May 1848.
My dear Children,
Every day I increasingly find the way becomes narrower and narrower, and I see many go in word to the gate, but very few go through the gate. There is an appearance of giving up many things, but not all. Most of us think we have great possessions, especially a great conceit of wisdom and great determination to abide by it. Here thousands and ten thousands perish. I sometimes think it is impossible that so weak and sinful a creature as I can ever have the true faith, and prove the multitude of wise ones to be fools. Surely I must be mistaken. Yet I sometimes have such a clear discovery of the way that I cannot doubt, and such a sweet ray of glorious light attended with such sweet love that I can neither dispute nor question the evidence of the Spirit's personal teaching. I feel him a sure guide; yet how many do I find, both of preachers and people, who mock at his secret and hidden power, and set forth the sufficiency of human merit; saying that the use of the outward means is all that is needful, and that in this world there will be nothing more known, but in the world to come will be the happiness of all sorts who regularly attend church and chapel.
How sweet these words appeared to me this morning, "The natural man receives not the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness unto him." O how true this is! When you hear a natural man speak of religion, what a fool he shows himself in divinity! God says he cannot know spiritual things because he is not a partaker of the Spirit, and they can only be discovered by one that is spiritually taught. There are several here who begin to see that there is something that must be known and felt, which they never hear of anywhere else; and indeed to have "the mind of Christ" is what very few know anything about; it is never found in the world, nor with such as walk in the spirit of the world (1 Corinthians 2:14-16). Where is the wise man, the disputer of this world? Has not God made a fool of him in the worst sense for his presumption? The Lord chooses the weak things, the base things, and things that are despised, to bring to nothing that conceit of wisdom which superabounds in us all, that we may have no room to glory, and when we are nothing in ourselves, then "of him are we in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption". When we are real partakers of these rich gifts, we can glory in the Lord as the bountiful bestower of them (1 Corinthians 1:20-31).
Every day something arises to becloud this heavenly work, and I find it a very sharp conflict to meet the opposition with suitable soldier-like hardness. I am often ready to faint, and think all things and persons are against me, and when I have mourned and been brought to feel my abject condition, then the Lord has surprised me with a sweet token of his dear presence, and heartened me up, and told me, that if all the world should be against me, he is on my side, and that I shall not be forgotten of him. This cheers the rugged path, and reconciles the cross.
How few we find that are profitable companions! They like not the yoke we are forced to wear, for there is a principle within us that never was and never will be subject to the law of God, and as God says, "The elder shall serve the younger." Hence comes all the quarreling. Hagar and Ishmael must be turned out, and room made for Isaac. That long cleaving to the flesh in all directions has been the bane of many a fair beginning, and has at length shown that the tap root was never cut. A fig tree with leaves only shall be made to wither, so that Jesus' disciples shall see that his Word is a savor of death, where it is not a savor of life.
It has been and often is a source of great consolation to me to see so many of you manifest the fear of God. I am sure you will find it a fountain of life ever springing up, and never more freely flowing than in the time of deepest distress. In health and sickness, in riches and poverty, in life and death, the Lord is a faithful Friend, and sticks closer than a brother, more especially in adversity, when all the world turn their backs. This is the time when he has drawn the nearest to me, and when I have been at the very bottom he has said, "What shall be done to the man whom the King delights to honor?" But I little thought he would provide for me as he has done, giving me also the hearts and affections of many of his people here; and though all this is with affliction, yet is the affliction sweetly mingled with such clear evidences of his love as to silence all objections. May the Lord extend this mercy to every one of you, that when you finish your course you may be able to say that in walking in the same steps with your father you found the same God, who was the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, and that he made with you also an everlasting covenant, ordered in all things and sure; and this, I am sure, will be all your salvation and mine.
From your affectionate father, James Bourne
Letter 389
Sutton Coldfield, June 1848.
Dear Mrs. Cull,
I often think of you and the dispensations of God towards you ever since he called you by his grace. You know the truth of the Lord's promise, "We must, through much tribulation, enter into the kingdom of God." You, as well as I, have found the judgments of God an unfathomable deep; and, where we thought there could be nothing but destruction, the Lord has so turned and changed these black clouds into bright ones that we have heard nothing but "Friend, go up higher;" draw nearer, and nearer yet. Though we feared we were stepping into nothing but complete misery, the Lord has directed our feet, and we (like Asher) have dipped them in oil, and in the midst of difficulties and perplexing providences have found that as our days so has been the sweet strength which the Lord communicates. How often have I, when surrounded with the most dark and distressing outward circumstances, put my mouth in the dust and said, "There is none like unto the God of Jeshurun" who rides upon the Heaven in my help! The eternal God is my refuge, and I feel underneath his everlasting arms. He thrusts out all enemies, all murmuring and fretfulness. I am happy, let the trying circumstances be what they may; saved by the Lord, who is my shield, and exceeding great reward. Many enemies of my soul have watched for my halting, but they have all been found liars unto me (Deuteronomy 33:24-29).
You have often been in these places, but our blessed Lord and Savior is a Brother born for adversity, and never turns his back upon us when down in the world. "Behold," he says, "you are fair, my love;" "you are all fair"; "through my loveliness which I have put upon you." Therefore however afflicted and tossed with tempest, we are still his love. "Set me as a seal upon your heart," and never let that stamp be effaced; "as a seal upon your arm," that when cast down and attacked on all hands I may find your power to sustain me, and in my deepest fears may find the lighting down of your arm in my defense, and hear the glorious voice of mercy saying, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."
You and I have accomplished as an hireling our day, and we have nothing promised in this world now but labor and sorrow; nevertheless I find the labor which is appointed for me very sweet, and I think instead of a penny a day I have double; and the sun never goes down but I have my wages. I never begin my labor but with much fear; but the Lord draws near and gives me strength both of body and soul, and I am never sent empty away. The sweet power of the Lord counterbalances all; and I have a few loving friends who prosper greatly in the Lord, and these are much for the comfort of my old age. I hope you remember me, and believe me to remain
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 390
Sutton Coldfield, 6 July 1848.
To my dear friends, Mrs. B., C. B., M. M., and the rest of the little flock at Norton-sub-Hamdon, Somersetshire.
Grace and peace be with you. How great a thing is redemption, and how few there are that understand it! Can you lay to heart that you are bought with a price, not of silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ? Redemption is always intended to set before us that we are in bondage and captivity. The Spirit of the Lord comes to proclaim liberty to captives, to open the prison to them that are bound by misery and guilt. Christ "gave himself for our sins, that he might deliver us from this present evil world"; which lies under the curse of God, sitting in darkness, in a prison where there is none of this water of life. While we are living in the spirit of the world we are called "the captives of the mighty" and "the prey of the terrible" (Isaiah 49:25). This shows in a measure the power by which we are held; and from being servants to the devil, we become enemies to God. But through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus we find the remission of sins. Unless we attain to some understanding in this, we cannot find communion or fellowship with the Lord; and however beautiful the church prayers may be, they cannot reach our case, unless Christ, the Resurrection and the Life, has raised us to a newness of life of which the world knows nothing.
Christ having risen again becomes our Mediator and Intercessor, by which means he not only begins the work of grace upon our hearts by conviction, but carries it on in a fresh communication of life under all trials and perplexities; so that his last words are always true to his people: "Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world."
Christ, it is said, has entered into Heaven, "now to appear in the presence of God for us"; and in every sickness, trouble, misery, or fear of any sort, we shall know it by a measure of his precious and promised gift to his people: "I will pour upon the house of David and upon the inhabitants of Jerusalem the Spirit of grace and of supplications." They shall learn to mourn at their piercing the Savior every time they walk untenderly in thought, word, or deed. This is the only way to remove all quarrels between God and us (Zechariah 12:10).
If this divine life be really imparted to us, it will bear fruit; and it is our mercy to watch the fruit. It is said of some that they brought forth sour grapes. If we are real partakers of the Spirit of holiness, we have a new principle; old things are said to have passed away, and a new obedience appears from the love which God has shed abroad in the heart, and this will continually watch his movement up and down in the conscience. Love has keen eyes and ears, and a very good memory, and will never be too late for the post, or make an idle excuse for neglecting the work of God; but will watch what brings us to rest on Christ, and how far our delight is in him; and a feeling sense that we can do nothing without him, will keep us always looking for fresh supplies of grace out of his fullness.
If we live in this manner we prove our redemption, and that Christ has adopted us into his family; and we shall know it by the communion which is kept up, his visitations preserving our spirits, so that when stained or defiled by guilt contracted there is a ready return to "the fountain opened"; and we find his returning favor, and cry with the psalmist, "I love the Lord because he has heard my voice and my supplications." Again and again "you have delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling"; therefore, "I will walk before the Lord in the light of the living" (Psalm 116:1-9).
This will bring on that sweet assurance which Paul speaks of in his epistle to the Colossians, where he craves with much earnestness "that their hearts might be comforted, being knit together in love, and unto all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the acknowledgment of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ, in whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." It is that they should obtain the riches that are to be found in the mystery of the love of God the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, and of the Father, and of Christ our Redeemer; not in head knowledge, but in power and by the Holy Spirit. This is the true and living God; and if you, my friends, come to a saving knowledge of these things, they will be to you greater riches than all the world can give.
Yours faithfully in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 391
Sutton Coldfield, 10 August 1848.
Dear Mr. Cole,
You, like the rest of us, complain of many infirmities. It is our mercy that the Holy Spirit takes notice of them, and that, as it is written, he "helps our infirmities". We have seen persons so enfeebled as not to be able to stir until someone comes to help them; and the Savior says, "Without me you can do nothing." Both these scriptures denote our great and miserable weakness; yet we are by such words encouraged to hope that the Lord will work in us both to will and to do; and this is the way we learn to praise him when all things seem beclouded.
I know of nothing which teaches us to pray like sanctified afflictions. When Peter was beginning to sink he prayed earnestly, "Lord, save or I perish." When Jonah was in the belly of Hell, then, it is said, he prayed unto the Lord his God, not because he was happy or holy, but by reason of his affliction; and the Lord heard him as he has often heard you. But it is remarkable that when we are sorely cast down and see nothing within or without but darkness and fear, and are almost ready to give all up, and like Jonah cry out, "I am cast out of your sight," and with Hezekiah declare, God "has both spoken to me, and himself has done it; I shall go softly all my days in the bitterness of my soul," then like both of these we also find the contrary of all our fears. Jonah says his suspicions of the Lord were lying vanities, and that they who observe them forsake their own mercy; and Hezekiah says, "O Lord, by these things men live, and in all these things" (that is, these sanctified trials) "is the life of my spirit." So you see the sweet advantage the Lord takes of our troubles.
Repeated helps and deliverances are the means of our establishment in hope; or, as it is written, "He which stablisheth us with you in Christ, and has anointed us, is God; who has also sealed us, and given the earnest of the Spirit in our hearts" (2 Corinthians 1:21, 22). Where have we found all these sweet things? Has it not been in the valley of humiliation, when we have been writing bitter things against ourselves?
I was very much comforted in preaching on Wednesday evening, when I considered the manner in which this establishment is brought about. "The Lord has sworn by his right hand, and by the arm of his strength, surely I will no more give your corn to be meat for your enemies, and the sons of the stranger shall not drink your wine, for the which you have labored." You who have shed many tears and groaned out many fears, shall find your labor not in vain in the Lord (Isaiah 62:8, 9). This applied is the sealing, and the love attending it is the earnest, and when the eyes of our understanding are open to see the inconceivable riches of this love, and that it is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear the Lord, then are our souls established in hope that he will never leave us nor forsake us.
The Lord has beautifully left on record what is intended to encourage our hope in affliction. It is written, "I will establish my covenant with you," and this is the token, "I do set my bow in the cloud," not in the sunshine, but in the cloudy and dark day of affliction; "and it shall come to pass when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow shall be seen in the cloud;" and it shall be for a token of sparing mercy. How exactly this agrees with what is written in Isaiah, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;" again, "I will not contend forever, neither will I be always wroth, for the spirit should fail before me, and the souls which I have made." The Lord remembers his covenant of mercy, and makes us know that it is an everlasting covenant between God the Father and his eternal Son; and the Holy Spirit testifies the truth of this by the sweet sealing, which you know is renewed every time the Lord visits our souls. It shows us our adoption; for being thus led of the Spirit, we become sons of God; "and, if sons, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ." To feel this is a Heaven upon earth. The Lord often shows me this title in the preaching, and seals the title deeds upon my heart; and then the beauty of our blessed Lord's prayer shines with such an inconceivable luster as I cannot express, "Father, I will that they also, whom you have given me, be with me where I am, that they may behold my glory which you have given me." This glory the Lord says, "I have given them, that they may be one, even as we are one." These seasons are very establishing. Then it is we learn to dip our foot in oil; and the holy anointing produces a sweet and tender walk, and makes us straightforward in all things, and to bear all things (Deuteronomy 33:24, 25).
May the Lord abundantly comfort you, and assure your heart that he is really making you a vessel meet for his own use. I have always feared sinking into destruction when the Lord's heavy hand has been upon the sin of my nature, but have also always found that he had taken the only effectual means to bring me to the fulfillment of that sweet scripture, "If the Son shall make you free, then are you free indeed." May the Lord give you a double portion of this spiritual freedom; then both you and I shall find that his yoke is easy and his burden light.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 392
(To T. S.) Sutton Coldfield, 6 September 1848.
My dear Friend,
I am often cast down with the discovery of the sin of my nature, and tremble lest the Lord should take vengeance of my inventions. Thus tossed with a tempest, and without the pilot on board, I find it hard sailing; yet I think the Lord takes advantage of this in two ways. One, in leaving no room to boast; the other, in teaching me to bear patiently the small beginnings of many, and the slips back again that often appear. The Lord in my own trials shows me my weakness and inaptness to be taught, and the need of a sharp curb. I am enabled to trace the windings and turnings of the soul under temptation, and to set before the people the way of escape. I feel the danger of remaining in bondage; it lays professors open to errors of all sorts. Such are apt to think their down-cast religion, without spiritual freedom in Christ Jesus, is sufficient to keep them out of the spirit of the world; but they do not consider that a worse thing befalls them, namely, walking in a profession of religion without the knowledge of mercy and pardon. This in the end must be a blank; all such religion will be proved to want the essential point, the abiding in the Vine. Without this there can be no fruit; so that I find it is the Lord's mercy to me that he delivers me from my misery, and shows me that whom the Son makes free shall be free indeed. This brings about real humility; the other, artificial. The love of Christ enjoyed abases the sinner and makes him abhor his sin, and works a contrition which softens the spirit like wax before the fire, to take the sweet impression of his word, and to render that spiritual obedience which a child feels is due to a parent; and this love is mutual, for as a father pities his children, so the Lord pities them that walk in this spirit (John 8:36; Psalm 103:13).
The Savior says, "Come unto me, all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." But some say their bondage is safer; which is an essential error, for the Savior does not bid us bear that yoke, but "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly of heart" (so, and in no other way, shall you find rest in your souls); "for my yoke is easy, and my burden light." As Hart says, Love is all he asks, and that he gives. The natural man will labor to make bondage safety; but "we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God;" and especially to know and sweetly to enjoy Christ Jesus, "who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption." This is the true effect of that sweet liberty we have in Christ Jesus; and I endeavor to set it forth as the sure issue of every poor trembling sinner coming to Christ, who says, "Him that comes unto me I will in no wise cast out." "Hearken diligently unto me, and eat you that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness. Incline your ear, and come unto me; hear, and your soul shall live," yes, live in that spiritual liberty which is alone to be found in Christ Jesus.
These memorable words I found this morning: "There failed not anything of any good thing which the Lord had spoken unto the house of Israel; all came to pass." "Not one thing has failed of all the good things which the Lord your God spoke concerning you, all are come to pass unto you, and not one thing has failed thereof" (Joshua 21:45; 23:14).
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 393
(To Richard Dore) Sutton Coldfield, 20 October 1848.
My dear Friend,
"The strength of God is owned by all,
But who his weakness knows?"He who, by the grace of God, is made to feel it in himself, will acknowledge in truth that the Lord must be the strength of his life. You are brought to much bodily weakness and great outward infirmities through age, and I am made to feel the same; but the Lord says, "Let him take hold of my strength," and then he shall blossom as the rose, and be fruitful (Isaiah 27:5, 6). When the Lord reduces our natural strength, he makes us to remember that our days on earth "are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength but labor and sorrow." You have gone even beyond that, and surely it is that we may understand that the Lord can make use of the feeblest means to show forth his praise.
David said, "It is God that girds me with strength," for the battle against the world, the flesh, and the devil. He makes the heart like hinds' feet, nimble in the ways of the Lord, though the body can scarcely move; for with him is the fountain of life, ever flowing for the thirsty soul. "This is the record, that God has given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son." Now the apostle exhorts, if we be really risen with Christ, let that life be seen by seeking those things which are above, where Christ sits to intercede for us. We are always getting into trouble, and many things cloud our minds, and bring on spiritual death; but Christ "the Resurrection and the Life" always communicates fresh supplies of life, by which means our affections are set upon heavenly things, and we cannot rest without a real taste of them, which is the earnest of the whole. That taste assures us that the life which the Spirit has given to us is "hid with Christ in God", and cannot be touched by Satan or any of his emissaries. This hidden life is brought forth in times of trouble, and especially in the hour of death, when the Savior appears nearer to us than at other times; for so he delights to show the glory of his grace in all times of extremity (Psalm 18:32 etc; Colossians 3:1-4).
You have often been dismayed, and your fears have run very high; but when Christ your life has appeared, then your fears have vanished. So I find it; I am often cast down, but our ever adorable Savior stretches forth the sweet power of his arm, and just like Peter when he was beginning to sink, I find myself sweetly recovered and safe in the arms of his everlasting love and mercy.
Blessed is the man that endures; he shall have a crown of life. You have weathered many storms, and the enemy has sowed many things against you; but our God is Lord of Hosts, and tells us we shall be more than conquerors through him. The Lord bless you and your daughter.
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 394
(To his Daughter H. P.) Sutton Coldfield, 4 December 1848.
My dear P.,
I was much helped and comforted yesterday, and found my labors very sweet. I had a sweet and very sober time when quite alone in reading Psalm 71, beginning at v. 17:I had a peculiar power upon my heart, and felt the Lord had been my guide and teacher from my youth; and an inexpressible sweetness attended my reading the next verse: "Now also when I am old and grey-headed, O God, forsake me not." It came to me as if it said, I will not forsake you; and when I read the next verse: "Your righteousness also, O God, is very high," I felt a very serious acknowledgment of all God's dispensations to me being in infinite wisdom. "You which have showed me great and sore troubles shall quicken me again, and shall bring me up again from the depths of the earth." I now was brought back to Dorset Square, where nine years ago I first felt those words, and all the circumstances attending that time were brought fresh upon my mind in a moment, and I fell down at the feet of the Savior in spirit, and said, Did I make it myself, or did I take what you did not design to give? Upon this I found a heavenly power upon my heart, and a clear perception that it was from the Lord, and would be seen to be so; and when I read the next verse: "You shall increase my greatness, and comfort me on every side," I was filled with the sweet love of God, and quite broken down with self-abasement. I said, Lord, am I deceiving myself? have I not seen you have been leading me through mountains and hills of difficulty? and does it not appear as if you did make use of so mean an instrument for the profit of the people? and surely it is a great thing to be a servant of Jesus Christ.
I do not know when I had such a sweet view of the Lord's love and tender care of me; and my subject immediately after this was to set forth the compassion of the Savior to the ignorant, and on them that are out of the way, for that he himself was also compassed with infirmity (Hebrews 5:2).
Your affectionate father James Bourne
Letter 395
(To W. B.) Sutton Coldfield, 8 December 1848.
My dear W.,
I am truly glad you have found him whom my soul loves; he will be a faithful Friend, and one that loves at all times, though you will be led most cruelly to suspect his love when he hides himself behind a cloud. Nevertheless he will not utterly discard his beloved, though they deal so treacherously with him; for they are his own, and none shall pluck them out of his hands. I often think I am frightened where there is no ground to fear. I am ashamed of my want of confidence in him in my trials. He never failed me. I cannot but be astonished at the language the Lord makes use of to assuage our fears and to assure us of his unchangeable love. Surely it is a sweet salvation the Lord reveals to his children; his name becomes "as ointment poured forth", and spreads a heavenly fragrance wherever we step, and causes hope to abound; and we feel we are saved by hope; it anchors firmly upon Christ, who is our blessed Intercessor, to remove all flaws and all accusations, which Satan stands at such a time most resolutely to charge against us. But the Lord says, "The Lord rebuke you, O Satan; Is not this a brand plucked out of the fire?" Take away his filthy garments of unbelief and hardness of heart; "I will clothe you with change of clothing" (Zechariah 3:1-5). We hardly know ourselves again with that new clothing; beggars on the dunghill made princes! How deep and unfathomable are the dealings of God! He brought you to a great extremity in the time of your illness, but he did not then bring you into spiritual liberty. The long bondage surely is to teach you to loathe yourself, and abhor your sin, and never more look back like Lot's wife, nor, like the Egyptian Israelites, prefer the dainties of this life to the milk and honey, the oil and wine, which the Savior richly and freely gives to his afflicted children.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 396
Sutton Coldfield, 31 December 1848.
Dear Mr. Yeomans,
Bonds and afflictions abide us in every place; but when I believe that in this we are joined with the apostles, I feel we have no ground to complain. It is something of what the Savior said of Saul, "I will show him how great things he must suffer for my name's sake." Thus the Lord takes pains to inform us of things coming upon us, and at the same time comforts us with these words: "for my sake;" therefore "fear none of those things" (Acts 9:16, and 20:23; Rev. 2:10). I often wish I could not fear them, but I find them heavy burdens at times; yet the Lord takes a sweet advantage of them, and says they shall work together for good, and teach us more and more our entire dependence upon him, and make us frequent the throne of grace oftener than we should if we had a smooth path.
I feel this part of my walk most keenly, and often confess it before the Lord, that my secret communion with him is so much slighted; for surely in due attention to this is the spring of all spiritual life, and decay here is the foundation of all backsliding. O may the Lord help my infirmities in secret prayer! None can know how feeble mine is, and how difficult I find it to gain the Lord's sweet presence; nevertheless I cannot say that I am utterly forsaken, though often cast down at the discovery of the evils of my heart, and my utter incapacity for my ministerial labors. I look upon it the Lord suffers me to be so kept down in my own feelings, that I may show to his people that I am really among them "in weakness, and in fear, and in much trembling"; and that he may have all the glory; for surely he is among us, and helps me most sweetly in the pulpit, and gives me much courage "to declare the whole counsel of God".
I sometimes mourn because I have so few to strengthen my hands (I mean of distant friends); and then my eyes turn to that captain that would not go to battle without Deborah, and she told him if he would have it so, it should not be for his honor. So I sometimes feel, for the Lord is so very near in my preaching, that I fear, if I had any human help, perhaps he would withdraw that which is divine and more precious than I can tell you. I can truly say at such times, his yoke is easy and his burden light, and his wages good; but I am often bowed down, and think none of my hearers have the fears I have.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 397
(To Richard Dore) Sutton Coldfield, 12 January 1849.
My dear Friend,
I am very glad to hear the Lord has comforted you lately. When Jesus was invited to the wedding (John 2) they had plenty of water; this certainly sets forth life, which is seen by their inviting Christ to come; but we find they wanted something more. So you in all your troubles were alive enough to them, and you often begged of Christ to come and change these waters into wine. We find that the Savior did not do anything until the water-pots were filled to the brim, to set forth the time of extremity. He shows his divine power by changing these waters into wine, and it is said that they who drew the water knew the change; for instead of sorrow and leanness, there was the cheering wine of promise, and of love and mercy, which makes those who are partakers of the wine of the kingdom to forget their poverty, and remember their misery no more; and they say, Lord, "you have kept the good wine until now." May this sweet wine cheer your heart as you pass through the valley, so that your latter days may exceed all you have known in communion and fellowship with the Father and the Son, the Holy Spirit as the Comforter daily testifying to you the reality and substance of this heavenly power. I am often cast down, but when the Lord comes with this power upon my heart, it removes all fears, and brings in unspeakable assurances of eternal life.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 398
(To the Deacons of Mr. Burrell's church) Sutton Coldfield, 26 January 1849.
Dear Friends,
It is now a long time since I heard from you. I very often think of you all, and seem shut out from all fellowship with those I have been accustomed to. Everything here is new except myself, and I often feel cast down at the near approach of my end. Many things exercise me, and I am sometimes heavy laden with sorrow, and the feeling of my incompetency for the work I am engaged in. I cannot always account for the deep casting down which I feel. It brings me into a very low place, and yet I perceive a wonderful spiritual labor in it which leads me to earnest prayer. I sometimes fear I shall never find the Lord, and I go about mourning, and see no way out. Often in this condition I have to provide for the people, and it seems long before I get answers to prayer; and indeed that seldom happens but when I feel myself farthest off. I am most of all surprised at the goodness of God in the delivery of his Word. Seldom or never have I his message to deliver but he is pleased to be with me in a peculiar manner, and gives me a personal interest in the salvation he enables me to set before the people.
They who know anything of the spirituality of God's law know what it is not to be able to clear themselves from reproach in any way but in the righteousness of Christ applied. When I am accused by Satan, I am made to feel matters are still worse within than all the accusations laid to my charge, if the Lord were extreme to mark. All I can say is, Lord, help me; Lord, have mercy upon me. In that sorrowful condition I was this morning, and thought no prayer would be heard, though I seemed so earnest. There was a weight upon my spirit I could not move; but the Lord at last came with a sweet and divine power and removed all my burden, and enabled me to lie at his feet with the sweetest humility, wondering at his love and mercy. When the Lord touches the heart the soul loathes both sin and self; and in this low place all spiritual matters go on prosperously. I could now go on to provide for the people on Sunday, and was encouraged to set before them a door of hope, however dark and dismal things might appear, being assured that they who seek shall find; for none more unlikely than myself, yet the Lord appeared and abundantly comforted my soul.
By all this you will see that I am not unacquainted with your path of tribulation. The Lord suffers many things to be a check to our pride and independence. I am not set here to rule, but to be servant to all, and in this spirit I am made to feel I am not my own, but "bought with a price", and that a dear price, not to be thought lightly of; and to seek by prayer continually for the spiritual obedience which becomes such.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 399
Sutton Coldfield, 3 February 1849.
My dear W.B.,
I have no doubt you find many changes. I have often thought when I have been made very happy I shall never be cast down so low again, but "you did hide your face and I was troubled." We soon should make our nest here if we were left to choose our own portion; but it appears to be the Lord's aim to spoil that portion, that we may have a better relish for spiritual food. If the Lord has a portion for us in himself, we shall find him jealous of our affections.
I see in myself and in many others almost a total forgetfulness of what we are called to in God's holy calling. We think of little else but how to meet our own wants and wishes; we forget how God calls us to attend to his honor and the well-being of his family, and to be a useful member of Christ's body. I see very little of this, and am often surprised at it; but I watch, and find that spiritual death and this unprofitable walk go together. I have been much struck of late with this scripture: "You are not your own; for you are bought with a price." This is noticed in various parts of the Word. Moses seems to startle when he hears, "I will send you unto Pharaoh;" but the Lord asks this question, "Who has made man's mouth? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth, and teach you what to say." Isaiah says, "Woe is me! I am undone," but when the live coal touched his lips he was at God's service; "Here am I, send me." Jeremiah complains bitterly, "Ah, Lord God! I am a child." God says, "Say not, I am a child; for you shall go to all that I shall send you, and whatever I command you you shall speak. Be not afraid of their faces; for I am with you to deliver you."
We are all members of Christ, the living Head; and this Head will not say to the foot, "I have no need of you." It is true we are not all called to preach, but each member has its appointed office; and this is what I wish to express. How little inquiry is made to what office we, as living members, are appointed!
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 400
(To the Rev. W. Maddy) Sutton Coldfield, 15 February 1849.
My dear Friend,
I am sorry to find by your letter that you do not run so fast as Mary to the sepulcher. If you were really in earnest you would fear to say that you are sometimes ready to give all up. I am sure you do not mean what you say. You do not mean to give Christ up; and perhaps if you were to look more diligently in the dark place in which you are, an angel might appear and inquire what troubled you, and wherefore you came there; and he might say, "He is not here, but is risen:" and this would lead you, no doubt, to look up with hope, though it might be with tears; yet they who sow in tears shall reap in joy. I know of nothing on earth so binding as to look at miserable self. There can be nothing but despair arise from that. Thomas seemed hard to be persuaded that Christ is a risen Savior, and ever lives to make intercession for us; but the Lord came while he was in company with the rest of the disciples, and showed him what he had suffered for him. In that patient abiding we find the blessing of God.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 401
(To John Starkie) Sutton Coldfield, 20 February 1849.
My dear Friend in the Lord,
It rejoices my heart to hear of the goodness of God to you. When you first came to hear me at Aldridge, you did not know what the Lord had in store for you; but he knew all the sickness and pain you would be presently brought into, and therefore began to make himself known to you by convictions, and by teaching you to pray, and giving you some little understanding that you must be born again and renewed in the spirit of your mind; and though you had many fears lest you should perish, yet he never left you until he made you acquainted with his loving-kindness and tender mercy.
You are now in the valley of humiliation, and cannot help yourself; yet the Lord has laid help upon one that is mighty to save, and he has saved you. In your dream you felt yourself sinking in the mire, and though the rock was not far off, you could not set your foot upon it, but still kept sinking; and when all your strength was gone, the Lord came and gave you his hand, and brought you up out of the miry clay, and set your feet upon the Rock of ages, and established your goings. Is not the Lord a kind Friend, a Brother born for adversity, touched with the feeling of our infirmities? He says, "Cast your burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain you." "As your days your strength shall be." "I will never leave you nor forsake you."
Nebuchadnezzar made the furnace seven times hotter than it was accustomed to be when he put the children of God into it; but the Son of God was with them, and not even the smell of fire passed upon them. So you can say in all your afflictions you have been so tenderly dealt with, the Lord has so manifested his mercy, that your illness has been the very best part of your life. He is preparing you for a better home, and begins to show you how great things he has in store for you. My continual prayer is that he would condescend to keep your heart spiritually diligent, watchful, and sober, seeking for the light of his countenance above all things; and mind you pray for grace and power to commit your family and family cares to him who is the Guardian of the poor; and remember the tender care of our God, who declares that not one hair of our head shall perish. The Lord be with you. Be sure you remember me in your prayers.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 402
(To Mr. H. Morgan) Sutton Coldfield, 9 May 1849.
Dear Sir,
I was sincerely glad to read your letter and think I could see you in the place where many are held. I have no doubt you will agree with me that conviction is not conversion; and that all clear knowledge of the plan of salvation will not help the soul in the time of deep sorrow. Yet when I think of your case, and think there is certainly a good deal of sifting going on in your mind, I feel as if Satan is too wise and too subtle to sift chaff; this leads me to hope there is some true corn. But there is certainly a mistake in your divinity. You write, "I often think I must be brought lower before the blessing comes." Here is a something brought, as it were, to entice the Savior to look upon you. The Word of God says, "I do not this for your sakes, O house of Israel, but for mine holy name's sake" (Ezekiel 36:22). It is true, the Savior came only to seek and to save the lost; but your best way is to leave that point with him, and not to look at the great light and knowledge you seem to have of the way, but in much confession and prayer beg of the Lord Jesus Christ to lead you, step by step, into the real experience of all those things that accompany salvation, and then you will not be dazzled with the great light of these things in your head, but he will gradually warm your heart with such a powerful display of his love as to remove all your bondage and carnal reasoning.
It appears to me as if you wanted to become a perfect man at once; but the apostle says, "As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that you may grow thereby." You say you often wonder what will be the end of all your changes. David says, "Your heart shall live that seek God." He does not say, that find; but the word ensures the finding, if haply we feel after him. We are all distressed with doubts and misgiving fears; whatever the Lord does, the enemy is always telling us it is purely natural, and that we shall find it so when we come to die; but that enemy never tells us that all his reasonings and temptations are to subvert the work of God, and to make us believe his own lies. But the Savior says that none shall pluck his sheep out of his hands. The Lord takes a sweet advantage of these fears, and makes them the means of many errands to him, in which we often find refreshing help communicated; he also gives us by them a feeling for the afflicted children of God.
I have many difficulties here. Some indefatigably oppose, and by all sorts of means seek to upset us; but I have always seen how vain it is to contend with God. Their measures will affect us as much as it pleases God and no more. Besides this, the neighborhood itself abounds with Chartists, and I am surprised at the spirit of some of those who have newly come to the truth. It is long before they feel the necessity of being in subjection to the Father of spirits; they too readily break down the hedge, and then they perceive the viper bites them, and they are made to return with an increase of brokenness of spirit; and a little more tenderness in their walk. Poor Starkie is not so, but is led very tenderly, and increasingly shows an abundance of the light of life.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 403
(To Mr. Yeomans) Sutton Coldfield, 10 June 1849.
My dear Friend,
I have many exercises in my ministry, but more in making my personal calling and election sure. Often filled with perplexing fears, I find it no light thing to obtain from the Lord a deliverance. At my advanced age (seventy-seven), I am continually on the lookout; and though I have had many sweet tokens of the Lord's mercy, and many promises that he will be with me then, yet I feel it a very serious thing to appear before God. The enemy puts into my mind many ifs and buts, and I cannot move them at my pleasure; they have more power than I can manage; therefore, if the Lord hides his face, I am beaten down by them.
I perceive as I increase in sweet assurances of the Lord's mercy, I increase also in greater discoveries of the sin of my nature. True light makes manifest; and that which is seen brings great mourning, and often so casts me down that I scarcely know how to dare to speak all the truth, so much does it cut at what I find within. I often say to the people, I do not mean you, but we; I am included in this sorrowful list, and have as much need of mercy as you, if not more than any.
Sometimes I fear I presume in speaking at all; but the Lord comes so sweetly to help my infirmities, that I can but acknowledge him my Teacher and Guide. No sooner have I finished than the enemy sets upon me to make me ashamed, and so shows me my ignorance in many things, and how short I am in all, that sometimes I scarcely know what to make of it; but I perceive it keeps out all boasting. I have no room for that, but much room to beg for mercy to pardon my ignorance. Then I get encouragement from some poor hearers who tell me of the profit they have found, and how much surprised they are to learn that I am as weak as any of them. If I am spared I purpose administering the Lord's Supper tomorrow. We have twenty-two members.
The profession of the day is become very light; and dissenters are as much against us as church-folks. They set forth strange things as truth, and because I preach the truth they become enemies. These are willing to live ungodly, and therefore they escape persecution. I have a few of whom I do not yet know whether the Lord will give them mercy and strength to "come forth of them all". They have light and appear to have some tenderness, but are bound with many chains, and watched in all their movements. If they become disentangled there will be a great noise, and they will have to suffer much loss.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 404
Sutton Coldfield, 4 July 1849.
Dear Mrs. B.,
You fear your affliction is not the affliction of God's people. Our great adversary is never weary of preaching lies; while we have one breath left, we shall find something within too ready to listen and give credit to him.
The Lord has chosen us to be soldiers; and a dreadful fight the fight of faith is. No wonder you desire to have a more manifest proof of your interest in God's great salvation. If you live to the age of your father you will continue to say so. There is always something stirring within or without to disturb our rest. If it were not so, we should soon settle upon our lees, have no need of the Spirit to help our infirmities, nor any wants to plead at the mercy-seat. But God has ordered it otherwise. He will make us to feel that we are empty, void, and waste. We are long learning this lesson; I am so unapt a scholar that I must needs wear the dunce's cap, and be an object wherever I go. This brings me very low, and I am surprised in that low place how much the Lord makes of me. Sometimes to my shame I repine, and say, Have I not carried the cross long enough? But I am presently told, "Lean not to your own understanding," but learn to obey; this will be better than sacrifice. "My son, despise not you the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when you are rebuked of him." This helps me on a little. The yoke sits easier for awhile, until the next time I am told in spirit to take the lowest room.
My preaching makes me a servant; I feel I am a servant of the Lord, and of the people for his sake. The cross is very heavy; but if I did not wear it, I fear I should soon lord it over the people, and then be sent off as an unprofitable servant. I have many fears and many exercises, but I trust the Lord is my Friend through them all. Oh, what discoveries of sin I find; how deep is the stain of them, I sometimes fear too deep for mercy to look at. Yet under all, I cry, and then find a little contrition, and a little hope. O how I dread back reckonings! I often look at those words, "Cast into the depths of the sea".
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 405
(To Mr. H. Morgan) Sutton Coldfield, 11 July 1849.
Dear Sir,
I cannot do better than quote a part of poor Starkie's account, which I hope in due time to forward to my friends at Leicester. He said, "The Lord did not continue to lop off the branches, but at last laid the axe to the root." This, I conceive from your letter, is just what you stand in need of. You say you are aware that the preparation of the heart is of the Lord. True; but do you also feel your utter helplessness? It is written, "The Lord shall judge his people, and repent himself for his servants, when he sees that their power is gone, and that there is none shut up, or left" (Deuteronomy 32:36). Surely, dear sir, this must be true; and (as you write) your judgment and your practice go two different ways, and both wrong. You forget that the humility and brokenness of heart you speak of are the fruits of being united to Christ the living Vine. Until the Spirit bears witness to your adoption you will find no ripe fruit; but as you hint is the case, the fruit will fall off when you most need it. It appears to me the Lord is now about to put your profession to the test. If you by the grace of God can receive instruction like a little child, then you will make it appear you are in earnest seeking for mercy in Christ Jesus; but if you begin at the wrong end, you are not likely to end right. You say something about hating sin; you are determined to be good, and then you think the Lord will look upon you. There is no goodness in any of us until we are grafted into Christ the living Vine.
It is written, "It is a terrible thing that I will do with you." It is no small matter for the Lord to come with, "I kill." If he whet his glittering sword, who may abide? (Exodus 34:10 and Deuteronomy 32:39-41). This is the work that rouses the dead from all that skin-deep profession with which the world abounds. If you and I, like Peter, feel we are beginning to sink, like him we shall immediately cry out, "Lord, save, or I perish." But if we think we are honest at heart, and do many things, and buoy ourselves up with false hopes, and are quiet, then the midnight cry, when it comes, will make sad work with our profession, which until then we were not aware was built upon the sands.
I feel it becomes me to be very sober in the seventy-seventh year of my age. I must shortly give an account of my ministry and correspondence; and my desire is that you may be saved. I have some correspondents in Somersetshire who greatly disheartened me by their goodness and darkness; but the Lord gave them an obedient teachable spirit, and they are become great comforts to me, and have attained to some very precious tokens of the Lord's favor. I sincerely wish the same for you.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 406
(To his Daughter E.) Sutton Coldfield, 27 November 1849.
My dear E.,
You are engaged in a very important matter, and you do well to watch. Keep in mind the Savior's word, "My sheep hear my voice, and they follow me;" they will not go before the Lord. Vain professors are distinguished by that, and do not wait for the salvation of God. In Numbers 9 it is said, "At the commandment of the Lord the children of Israel journeyed, and at the commandment of the Lord they pitched: as long as the cloud abode upon the tabernacle they rested in their tents. And when the cloud tarried long upon the tabernacle many days, then the children of Israel kept the charge of the Lord, and journeyed not. . . Whether it were two days, or a month, or a year, that the cloud tarried upon the tabernacle, remaining thereon, the children of Israel abode in their tents and journeyed not; but when it was taken up they journeyed." It will be your mercy to watch. Satan will certainly tell you that it will be the year, and not the day or the month. But observe in this account the Lord does not tell his people beforehand when they are to proceed; and therefore you must not define the time. The Lord often takes us by surprise, even when we conclude all doors are shut and barred, and no way is open for us. Cannot you believe that infinite wisdom is contriving the best for you? Watch and see if this does not turn out to be true. Do not mind what some think. Watch the cloud, for Christ is in the cloud, and has told us, he who so freely gave himself for us will as freely give us all things needful; and perhaps patience is one of the precious gifts. John saw a mighty angel (the Angel of the everlasting covenant) come down from Heaven clothed with a cloud, perhaps to denote how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out: but remember, though he was clothed with a cloud, there was a rainbow about his head, to denote his faithfulness to his promises (Rev. 10:1). The Lord has wonderfully fulfilled the promises he has made to me, and is yet fulfilling them. I see much of my weakness and ignorance in misunderstanding many things which the Lord has spoken and fulfilled. Nevertheless I feel it is one of my highest privileges to hope and quietly wait for his salvation.
I write thus, fearing you will hearken to others, instead of keeping up earnest prayer to the Lord. Remember it is written the cloud was in sight of all the people, so that it could not move but all must see it.
Your affectionate father, James Bourne
Letter 407
(To James Bourne) Sutton Coldfield, 23 January 1850.
My dear Friend,
I have no doubt or suspicion on my mind respecting the work of grace upon your heart; but I think I perceive that the blood of your Arminian grandfathers flows too freely in your heart. You cannot discern that it is a secret legal spirit which entangles you. You cannot understand how that the Lord has called us to an active life; you cannot see that almost all the trials of the fathers (in Scripture) were concerning temporal things, which the Lord made spiritual trials to them. He has always dealt so with me. My heaviest afflictions have been outward, and the Lord has left me to sink under them, and by them driven me to cry mightily to him. In all my busiest life, mingling with the highest rank and finding myself absolutely shut up with them Sundays and other days, I found this was no source of bondage. Why? because I proved the Lord had placed me where I was, and therefore found his promised help; and those seasons were often the most fruitful of my life, the Lord keeping his watchful eye over me in such a way as to preserve my spirit in that spiritual liberty which he has promised to his children.
Respecting your writing to us, I advise that when the Lord has done anything for you, you should carefully cherish it, and even if Satan has robbed you of all, still write it, because the Lord has really done it; and do not listen to the God-dishonoring counsel of Satan. You say that it is with fear that you mention the sweet liberty of which you had felt a little during the last half hour. If this be godly fear it is good, and you will maintain your standing; but if, through fear, you stand still to listen what Satan will say to that liberty, you will find that he will presently persuade you that it was altogether a mistake, and that you are never so safe as when you suspect all that is brought upon your heart. This is Satan's trap to keep his family with a bastard religion, and a snare to bring into bondage any of God's family who are foolish enough to listen to him and believe him, and give up those sweet tokens of the Spirit which enlarge the heart and make us to go on our way rejoicing.
With regard to what you say of the love of sin, there is a principle in us all, called the old man, which will never love anything but sin. But if the Lord has by his Spirit created in you the new man, that will fight and endure hardness, but never give in. Because you find this sore conflict, this "company of two armies", you are often ready to cry out, Woe is me, I am undone! The Lord makes the discovery not for you to suppose he has done nothing for you, or that yours is a lost case, but on the contrary, that you may the more admire the grace and beauty and glory of Christ, and not so much look at your wretched and deceitful heart. Christ says, "Look unto me" (not to yourself), "for I am God, and there is none else."
You write that you have felt sorely confounded when the Lord has brought things upon you with a dark aspect, and that they have wrought much bondage. What think you? What did Jacob feel when the Lord told him to return to his father's house, and he would surely do him good? The first thing was, Laban pursued him; and the second, Esau met him with four hundred men. Do you not see the design of God in all this? Did not the Spirit help his infirmities to wrestle? Did this work bondage? No; "As a prince have you power with God and with men, and have prevailed." Go you, and do likewise.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 408
(To Mr. H. Morgan) Sutton Coldfield, 20 March 1850.
My dear Friend,
I must write a few words to say, Surely this which has come upon Mrs. Morgan is the work of God. Surely it is what the Lord means when he says he turns man to destruction. David says (Psalm 32), "Day and night your hand was heavy upon me;" and the Lord seems to reply to this by saying, "I will instruct you" (how terrible a thing sin is) "and teach you in the way in which you shall go."
Tell her it is her mercy that she cannot stand before him. There is nothing worse than what the world calls facing it out. The publican dared not so much as look up, but smote upon his breast, as if his was a lost case. I must both reprove and exhort; and first I say, in the name of God, be not rash. Say not words that the Lord has never said or revealed. Consider the price paid for sinners. Christ gave himself that he might deliver us from sin. Do beg of God to keep you from carnal reasoning. He knows your soul is not upright. Christ came into this world to make us upright, who were all altogether crooked. "The Scripture has concluded all under sin." "Be you not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding," but put on the bit and bridle of godly fear, and consider, "Who knows if he will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him?" You are not the first that have been bound and tied. The godly Reformers knew what it meant to be bound and tied, and they did not conclude all was over on that account, but prayed, "Let the pitifulness of your great mercy loose us, for the honor of Jesus Christ." Do you the same, and I believe the Lord will yet make you rejoice in his salvation. Suffer not your lips to deny this, but rather say, like the prophet, I will set me upon my watch-tower, and hearken to what the Lord shall say. You will find that Christ did not come to save good desires, as you call them; but just such sinners as are completely ruined, and have nothing to pay. I, with you, can ask for nothing but mercy; and I am sure that where we are not stirred up with a deep discovery of our sin, there will be but a slight profession, which will wither to nothing.
I am in daily hopes of hearing better tidings, and begin to think I shall yet see you both blessing God for all the pains he has taken with you. May the Lord comfort your hearts with a ray of the Sun of righteousness in the long and dark valley which it has pleased him you should pass through.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 409
(To Mr. H. Morgan) Sutton Coldfield, 17 April 1850.
My dear Friend,
Tell Mrs. Morgan that the Word of God, the written Word, and the work within, must agree, before we prove the truth of anything we feel. It is nowhere said that the coming sinner shall be cast out; nor can she show me in all the Bible where God speaks the language which she sets forth. Surely this is not anything like what she declares: "Him that comes unto me, I will in no wise cast out." If she ask, What is that testimony I feel within which tells me so plainly it is even wicked for such a sinner as I to pray to God? the Psalmist shows us that these are no new things. The enemy has had a long practice and has caught you off your guard, forgetting to be sober and watchful; and the Lord suffers you to be so roughly handled for your former light profession. His design in all your present trouble is that you may dig deep and lay your foundation upon the Rock of Ages, and in future be more watchful. However dreadful your case may be, yet while you have one breath left, your prayer ought to be, "Teach me your way, O Lord," let not Satan drive me headlong, nor suffer me to declare such things as he puts into my heart, that it is wicked to pray; O deliver me not over to these my enemies. "False witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty." David knew what it was to be in such places, and so did Asaph and others, and they declare they should have fainted if they had not believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living (Psalm 27:11-13). Thus it was that Abraham "against hope" (that is, against all prospect of success, or possibility of prevailing), "believed in hope"; and it is written for our learning, that we, through patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope. David was once in your hopeless condition, yet he prayed, and said, "It may be that the Lord will look on mine affliction, and that the Lord will requite me good" (2 Samuel 16). Again he says, "The troubles of my heart are enlarged," yet he does not give in, but prays, "O bring you me out of my distresses" (Psalm 25:17). I beseech you not to let your tongue utter a single word against the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort; remember, "Like as a father pities his children, so the Lord pities them that fear him." I cannot help hoping and believing that he will one day make you and me to rejoice together. The stones in God's mystical building require much cutting and chiseling before they are fit for their appointed place. It will not do to put "wood, hay, stubble" upon the sure foundation, or chief corner stone. I am exceedingly glad to find that you, my dear friend, are a partaker with your wife in the affliction, because I believe you will also be in the consolation. There are many of our friends who remember you in their prayers, and I may say I never forget you, but pray still and patiently wait, that I may see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 410
(To Mr. Yeomans) Sutton Coldfield, 26 May 1850.
My dear Friend,
My visits to the dying fill my soul with great awe. Although there is a divine power evidently supporting them, yet I perceive it is a terrible thing to be brought into God's more immediate presence, because Satan disputes every inch of the way. The Lord's almighty arm is all-sufficient, yet it is a very serious sight to see the strong man feel the grasshopper a burden, and that the dust must soon return to the earth as it was. It is said, "By these, my son, be admonished" (Ecclesiastes 12:1-12).
I am often full of fears respecting my latter end, lest my sins should cause the Lord to hide his face; pondering this matter this morning, I had occasion to refer to 1 Corinthians 15:55-58, "O death, where is your sting? O grave, where is your victory? The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law." I felt I knew the truth of both these, and said within myself, Will the Lord remove these when I die? Satan says, Certainly not, and that so I shall find it. But without my being aware, the next words came with such an irresistible power that I could not but take them as my own: "But" (as if it said, All that goes before is altogether true, yet there is a remedy against these evils), "thanks be to God, which gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." Therefore fear not, but be steadfast, unmovable, in cleaving close to the Lord; look not at the sore, but look at the power of the Good Physician, who heals it with tenderness and skill. David says the Lord will not deliver us unto the will of our enemies, but will strengthen us upon the bed of languishing, and will make all our bed in sickness (Psalm 41:2, 3); and Paul tells us, for our encouragement, that "the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."
All this works a holy confidence that the Lord is able to keep that which we commit unto him; it dispersed the clouds, and the Sun of righteousness arose most brightly, and made me more than sure of the truth of God's Word and promise, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." Thus the Lord comforts me from time to time; and I perceive he both can and does change the water into wine; and though the waterpots are filled to the brim, his goodness and compassionate care speaks a word upon my heart which makes my fast to become a feast indeed. Tell Mr. Morgan that I think Mrs. Heap, whom he visited here, is dying, and that Starkie seems in the last stage. Both of these find very sweet support.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 411
(To C. B.) Sutton Coldfield, 23 July 1850.
My dear C.,
I often wonder what the Lord, in his all-wise providence, designs for you. I am sure there are no useless stones in his mystical building, no dead stones; all are lively stones with which he builds up his spiritual house.
I have been very uneasy respecting your brother R. I hope the Lord has restored his health. What an inconceivable mercy for him to know that the Lord's eye is upon him from the beginning of the year to the end of the year! Tell him the Lord knew from the beginning the path he would have to pass through, and therefore first gave him to understand his love and tender care, that when he passes through these darksome paths he may be assured that the Lord is with him. "Because you have made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the Most High, your habitation, there shall no evil befall you." Tell him the Lord is jealous of our love and often puts a damper upon created things, that they may not have any portion of that heart which he designs to dwell in. He will not let us delight and prosper in vanities. I have found he has put the cross upon the tenderest point, to bring down my pride. If we are to be profitable to the church, we must choose the lowest room, and there we shall find those in whom he most delights, broken hearts and contrite spirits. I cannot endure a religion which finds no unity but perhaps with one or two, no seeking the welfare of God's family. When we have been well immersed in sanctified afflictions we dread the thoughts of being like a fool brayed in a mortar.
As soon as the live coal from off the altar reached the prophet's lips, we hear no more of "Woe is me!" It is changed to "Here am I; send me." Thus the profiting appeared. In reading through the book of Isaiah, we find that the prophet was subject to many changes, yet he does not return over and over to the same old spot, but keeps moving, and in his exercises he gets fresh and important messages from the Lord. In one place he tells us we are not to be always ploughing; for our God will instruct us to discretion.
Paul was employed and commissioned by the High Priest to destroy the people of God at Damascus. The Lord had another errand for him; he changed his course, and revealed his will to him, and gave him the grace of obedience.
Though I have many trials here, and fear more, and feel that I am weak beyond measure, yet I sometimes think the Lord will stand by me. As he often comforts me in the public speaking, so I hope that my being here will be found to be of him to the end.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 412
Sutton Coldfield, 24 July 1850.
Dear Mrs. B.,
It is a very great mercy to be submissive under affliction. I dare not say there is no cause. The Lord knows how to time it so that it shall be profitable to others as well as ourselves. Paul knew that he must not live to himself, but must be profitable, in the hand of the Lord, in his day and generation. I begin, and only begin, to feel that we are of no profit, except under the influence of sanctified afflictions. When the rod of God is upon us we move with caution and neither stumble ourselves nor cause others to stumble; but when it is removed we are like the horse and mule which move without understanding, and have need of bit and bridle (Romans 14:7; Psalm 32:9).
We find the smoking furnace and the burning lamp went together; and though sometimes I sink under the weight of the various things which occur, and when one trouble follows another like the waves of the sea, begin to fear that the Lord means to bring me to an end; yet, however hope may fail, my cry to the Lord never does; and therefore I find in the end a secret power upholding me and carrying me through all my troubles. In the Word of God there is no such thing as a set-fast place for his children. Even if all things appear against them, the Lord says, "I will not contend forever;" but as a father pities his children so he pities them that fear him.
I often think of your son R. The Lord is taking very tender care of him, not perhaps according to the estimation of the world; but he is providing for him a more durable inheritance that fades not away. It is a wonderful display of God's mercy to see so many of your children made acquainted with the value of the Pearl of great price. The kingdom to which they are made heirs lies through much tribulation; as a parent I feel this. Nevertheless, I revere the infinite wisdom of God; and especially when I look back at the bygone generation of my family, and see the awful end of their profession, I am made to choose the safe path of tribulation, far beyond the empty religion of those who never trembled at God's Word, and are gone to give an account of their stewardship.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 413
(To Mr. H. Morgan) Sutton Coldfield, 25 July 1850.
My dear Friend,
Give my kind regards to Mrs. Morgan, and tell her with much prayer to hold fast that which she has in mercy received. The enemy will seek by all means to send her back to her old place of despondency, but I hope she will long remember the wormwood and the gall, and be deeply humbled. God is both a refuge and strength, and a very present help in trouble. Though the waves roar and toss themselves, yet let her call to mind that "there is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God". Tell her to mind she keeps at the river-head, and that all her fresh springs are from that fountain.
The Lord often brings his people into trouble both to clear and deepen his work. Their enemies are strong and lively, and unless they know their way to the city of refuge, they will be slain. There is no knowing the way but by having Christ formed in their hearts, the hope of glory. It well becomes us all to be in earnest to have this Friend at our right hand to plead our cause; for the fiery trial, which is to overtake all, will make manifest of what metal we are. The slight profession of the day is nothing but stubble. God's people are told to dig deep that their foundation may be upon the rock; that they may build all their hopes upon Christ, the chief corner-stone. All the weight of all buildings rests safely upon that; so Mrs. M. will find, if she can build upon it. It will never give way. It is also called the Nail fastened in a sure place, even in the eternal purpose of God in Christ, so that we may safely hang upon it all our hopes for time and for eternity. It is also called a law: "The law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death." This is the sweet liberty I wish for her; "For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God." I exceedingly desire that you may be more clearly acquainted with these divine truths. Afflictions are sent for this purpose, and I sincerely hope neither of you will have to say you have not profited by them.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 414
(To Mrs. H. Morgan) Sutton Coldfield, 7 September 1850.
Dear Mrs. Morgan,
I was very glad the Lord enabled you to write after so long an affliction. I have many a time prayed for you both publicly and privately, and now feel for your anxious mind, knowing you must be surrounded with many dampers, apt to quench the spirit of prayer. Then is our spiritual strength weakened by the way, and the enemy makes great inroads into our hearts; and then we admit of much poison, so sweetened that we do not perceive it until it has affected the spiritual life, and death ensues. Your letter assures me that you both feel and fear these things. "Happy is the man that fears always." It will prove a hedge of defense against everything that would mislead; and if this hedge be broken, the wild boar of the wood will devour (Psalm 53:12, 13). I am exceedingly pleased to find that you desire not to rest until you obtain a clear sense of God's pardoning love. There is no other refuge. In that earnest seeking for clear work, the Spirit of God will guide you, and often give you a secret hint: Keep clear of this—do not cavil; a meek and quiet spirit is of great price; grieve not the Spirit through natural affection; you had better offend man than God.
The world of professors in this our day have fallen into a deep sleep, in consequence of which Satan is sowing all manner of errors to beguile the unwary. The Lord has repeatedly said in his Word, "Take heed." Surely he has given you light upon many things in your late illness; do not put an extinguisher upon it; it would in that case be woeful darkness. Especially take heed of pride, which has been the downfall of many a fair profession. It works in many ways, and is none more than in that universal charity, which is not the love of God, but seeks her own applause, and sits down, slothful in spirit, resting on the testimony of man. This always proves a religion without a root.
You complain of the evils of your heart, which you could not feel unless the Spirit discovered to you the nature of sin. Professors in general say the same, but do not feel. You say the discovery fills you with fear. If the fear leads you to Christ, it is a godly fear, which will prove a fountain of life, always bubbling up the water of life to refresh all such as are like you filled with fear. May the Lord keep your heart tender, like wax softened before the fire, to receive the impression of his Word; and remember, if the wax is suffered to grow cold, it will not receive the seal.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 415
(To Mr. and Mrs. James Bourne) Sutton Coldfield, 30 November 1850.
My dear Friends,
This is Saturday night, and I have been comforted and brought out of much sorrow by the account of the transfiguration, and the heavenly voice there mentioned, "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear you him;" which seems to say, You now behold him in a glorious appearance; do not forget it when you see him in his humiliation, spit upon, cursed, and crucified; he is still my beloved Son, and is going through all this misery for you. Honor, revere, and cry to him; look at the place where your sin laid him, and be ashamed; yet hope for mercy, and call to mind the glory that shall be revealed, and believe that he is still able to save to the uttermost, and that you shall at length say with David, "Now know I that the Lord saves his anointed."
This is a sweet salvation, and draws the heart and affections to follow hard after him. It always brings a willingness to hear him, and to follow him in spiritual obedience, like Isaiah when the live coal touched his lips "Here am I," at the Lord's service, knowing his is a reasonable service. Therefore yield universal, unlimited obedience, and do not walk so as for the Savior to say, "Yet one thing you lack;" and that one thing lacking proves that all is wanting.
The sweetness of all manifestations is, first the removal of the burden, grief, and trouble under which we lie, and then a clear sense of the Father's reconciliation and friendship towards us. If the Son, with but one touch, make you free, you are free indeed. The word Mary was enough, when the Lord appeared; and we also feel we are clean through the word spoken unto us, and can say, "My Lord and my God;" and "Our Father," who have discovered your rich grace to my heart, and have shown me such things as establish my soul in the hope that I shall never perish, but have eternal life. These divine manifestations are not to screen us from trouble, which will await us while on earth; but they are to arm us when it comes, and to show us that God's grace and presence carry us above and through the most difficult dispensations. "My grace is sufficient for you; for my strength is made perfect in weakness;" that the power of God, the wisdom of God, and the glory of God may be seen and acknowledged. I have passed through many fires in which I looked for nothing else but to be finally consumed; but, to my surprise, I have come out brighter and clearer, and more deeply humbled under the sense of God's everlasting love to me in Christ Jesus. So I pray it may be with you.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 416
(To M. M.) Sutton Coldfield, 4 February 1851.
My dear Friend,
I was very glad to see your letter, and to find that you, with the rest of us, are subject to many changes. They who are without these fear not God. I seem to come so near the borders of eternity, that I am very anxious not to be found sleeping in the enchanted arbor of carnal security.
Our dear friend Starkie has breathed his last. The morning he died, he said that the Lord had brought him to the place Mr. Bourne often spoke of, where two seas meet. He saw the sea of time quickly receding, and the endless and boundless ocean of eternity opening to him, with endless joy and boundless bliss. He added, "My hope is full, and I stand firm on the Rock of Ages. None can be safe but those who stand there." He tried to sing, but his voice failed him, and with the utmost composure he gloriously breathed his last. This is very encouraging to me; I long to finish my course in the same manner. He was a very sober-minded man, and bore an excellent character with his master.
In Exodus 15, which you allude to, you must remember the Lord is said to be "a man of war". He finds many enemies within us, with which he fights, and I know there is often a mighty struggle for the mastery, and nothing short of drowning in the sea of sanctified afflictions will cover them. Christ alone can cast them like a stone to the bottom of the sea. When the neck of this power is broken, then we sing, "Who is like unto you, O Lord, among the gods? who is like you, glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, doing wonders?"
This work is not accomplished in a day, but is carried on to the end of life, which is in many places called a warfare. You and I must remember we are said to be more than conquerors only through Christ, for in him our warfare is accomplished and our iniquity pardoned; and the Word of our God shall stand forever.
From your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 417
(To Mrs. H. Morgan) Sutton Coldfield, 16 March 1851.
Dear Mrs. Morgan,
I have been often thinking of you since you left us, and can sincerely say I found a sweet hope that the Lord would appear for you. My hope was founded upon the exceeding tenderness which I thought was manifest in all your remarks, excepting one, which was that the Lord could not, or would not, pardon your sin, the extent of which none knew but yourself. This was the bar which we call unbelief, and a shameful charge and contradiction against God's Word. He says, "All manner of sin;" you say, No; not yours. He asks, "Is anything too hard for the Lord?" You say, Yes; your sin. But "who are you that replies against God?" How much better it would be to come like the poor man, "Lord, help my unbelief!" He did not encourage his unbelief, but knew that none could move it but Christ. Pray, my dear friend, call to mind what was told you in the street at Lincoln, "a sinner saved by grace." You then knew what a Friend you had. You are still a sinner saved by grace; and if you ask me why I say so, it is because "the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting", and therefore that grace by which you were saved is not worn out. But Satan has blinded your eyes, by which means you are not able to see what is called the invisible power of God, or the arm underneath, which keeps you from utterly sinking. Pray let me hear some better tidings, and then we shall rejoice together.
Your affectionate friend in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 418
(To his Daughter E.) Sutton Coldfield, 26 March 1851.
Dear E.,
I believe the Lord's eye is upon us all the year round, but nothing is harder than to steer clear of the surfeiting cares of this life. The way is very narrow in which we shall be "not slothful in business", and yet "fervent in spirit, serving the Lord"; free from the distressing cares of this life, as if the Lord did not care for us. We think that success will not be but according to what men consider talent, and such like commodity; but it will come in answer to prayer. I am sure, if talent be needful, I never possessed it; yet in my little way none rose higher than I did, and the Lord prospered and protected me; and before my employment ceased, he told me, as plainly as words could express it, that all these things should go into captivity. I knew what it meant the moment I heard the words; but the Lord did it in the tenderest way possible, and did not close that line of things until he opened another and bid me proceed. I must say I have had clear work from first to last, and you will have it too, if you make God your refuge. He has known my soul in adversities, but he is a Brother "born for adversity"; and he tells us to remember many things for our comfort. Read Isaiah 44, beginning at verse 21, and see what a list of mercies, which we are so apt to forget, follows the words, "Remember these;" "You are my servant;" "I have formed you;" "You shall not be forgotten of me;" "I have blotted out as a thick cloud your transgressions, and as a cloud your sins;" "I have redeemed you;" and therefore, "remember these." But we are apt to read and not enter into the full meaning of the simplest things which the Lord has left on record for our comfort. Satan comes and throws the dust of this world in our eyes, so that we cannot see; but the Lord comes our way now and then, and bids us, "Come down, for today I must abide at your house" (Luke 19:2-5); nor does he ever come but he brings many good things, and sweet content with them all. May the Lord bless you and your husband.
Your affectionate father, James Bourne
Letter 419
(To Mrs. H. Morgan) Sutton Coldfield, 16 May 1851.
Dear Mrs. Morgan,
I am sorry to hear you are so unwell, but I hope to prove that the incorruptible seed of God will never die. One spark of life felt in the soul may be damped, but not put out. It is eternal life begun.
Now, my dear friend, Does the Lord ever say to the world, "Patiently wait and quietly hope for my salvation"? If you have heard a whispering of that, it is that you may look out with hope for a further discovery of his mercy, and that he will bring you out of the miry clay in which you have been so long set fast. Those sweet hints of coming forth as gold are to encourage you with double diligence to cry to God to fulfill the word on which he has caused you to hope. It is written, "Give the Lord no rest." Be earnest in seeking his face. "Your heart shall live that seek God." It does not there say, Your heart shall live that find God, but that seek him, which means, You cannot seek in vain, but shall certainly find. This is what the Savior says, and I hope you will not be suffered to contradict him.
Tell Mr. Morgan the Lord makes no mistakes, and perhaps has a twofold view in this affliction. I sincerely hope it will be sanctified to bring him to a clear view of Christ's love and mercy to him. I, for my part, must acknowledge man needs much pulling down before he can even discern where the foundation stone is on which he must build all his hopes, if ever he is saved. May the Lord bless you both, and sanctify the affliction with a double portion of his presence and blessing; and enable you to say, with our late friend Mrs. Grimley, "I was almost gone, all but gone; then, then it was Christ came, and plucked me as a brand from the burning."
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 420
(To Mr. Yeomans) Sutton Coldfield, 5 June 1851.
My dear Friend,
In your letter you hint at what I scarcely dare to write, the almost universal departing from the hidden power of the truth, and instead of that, professing to rest upon the written Word. I am grieved when I hear professors ignorantly going out against what they call frames and feelings, a cant phrase to mock at communion with the Lord. These hate what you and I value, and what we feel to be the wisdom of God and the power of God brought into the heart of a poor cast-down sinner. I am sure we must be unfit company for unbroken hearts; they consider us as narrow-minded.
In Habakkuk it is said that God measured the earth and drove asunder the nations. He makes a clear distinction between the old man and the new. Christ and Belial are two nations, and they will never agree; but these professors in our days are never made to tremble in themselves, that they "might rest in the day of trouble". You and I, by the grace of God, know that Christ is the only rest, all other rest is too short; but they who find the true rest are said to be "joint-heirs with Christ, if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together." This suffering comes in various shapes, as it pleases God to dispense it; but always to humble us in the dust before him, and to make him more precious to us in all things.
When I was lately cast down, and lost all hope of recovery, I yet cried, sinking as I felt myself to be. Then it was the Lord came and told me, "You are greatly beloved" (Daniel 9:23); and he bears testimony to the truth of this while I write it. But in a day or two it became beclouded, and last week I sank in spirit greatly, and grieved sorely for the loss. I said, Lord, I was once, some years ago, in a heavy and deep trouble, and all forsook me, but you did say, You shall return in the power of the Spirit. While thus bemoaning my loss, the Lord gently whispered, And you shall return in the power of the Spirit again. This quite removed all my fears, and fully satisfied me of the Lord's returning to me. But the clouds will return after the rain, and tonight I had to speak to the people, and did not know how I should be able rightly to declare the Word of the Lord. However, my subject was, "I will sing of mercy and of judgment; unto you, O Lord, will I sing" (Psalm 101:1); and I found I could describe the mercy of God, and sing his high praises; I could also sing of his judgments, knowing that he had sanctified my afflictions, and made them very profitable to me. O how I can say, "This God is our God forever and ever; he will be our guide even unto death." "O the depths of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!" Hezekiah said, "He has both spoken unto me, and himself has done it; I shall go softly all my years in the bitterness of my soul." This I also have often feared, but have found with him, "O Lord, by these things men live," not die, "and in all these things is the life of my spirit . . . . You have in love to my soul delivered it from the pit of corruption, for you have cast all my sins behind your back." Therefore "the living, the living, he shall praise you, as I do this day."
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 421
(To Mr. H. Morgan) Sutton Coldfield, 24 June 1851.
My dear Friend,
No doubt your great anxiety respecting dear Mrs. Morgan has unfitted you for your temporal concerns. I have often felt for you, for I also have known what affliction means; but the Lord has so sanctified it to me, that I have often had in the midst of it the sweetest tokens of his presence and favor. In this long dispensation under which you have labored, you have at length great cause to rejoice in the infinite mercy and condescension of God, who revealed himself so sweetly to her in her last moments. You must feel and regret your loss, yet how sweet to know that she is forever with the Lord! You will now enter into a new line of things, but I sincerely hope you will never lose sight of the lessons which the Lord has been teaching you in this long affliction; and seeing it has not proved a vain thing, your dear wife, with heartrending cries, entreating the Lord, and finding such sweet peace after so long a bondage, may you too be encouraged to give the Lord no rest until he give you clear and bright evidences of his love and mercy. My sincere desire is that your soul may prosper, and that the Lord may remove from your mind those troublesome things which you see in others, and which are a cause of grief to you. That they should be so is the true effect of a spirit of bondage, and when the Lord comes with love and spiritual liberty into your heart, you will consider them as matters not belonging to you.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 422
Sutton Coldfield, 4 August 1851.
Dear Mrs. B.,
Though in one sense sorry for your various exercises, yet in another I rejoice that you are a fellow-sufferer with all those who are truly seeking for redemption in Israel. The hidden mystery will still continue to be hidden from the eyes of all living in the flesh. It is a secret only revealed to them that fear God. Now and then (I perceive) it is revealed to one here, and to another there, and generally such as are in our estimation the last and least likely to know it. But the Lord says it is revealed to them that are at "the ends of the earth"; and very few are willing to be thought such.
The children of God are described as poor, sorrowful travelers passing through the valley of humiliation (Psalm 84). We read of the Lord drying up some pools (Isaiah 42:15); these are vain pretenders to the hidden power, who know very little of those continual changes to which the children of God are subject. Again the Lord looks down, and sees us often in a low place, in a dry and thirsty land, and sends showers of his blessings and mercies to fill the pools; and bids us drink, and forget our poverty, and remember our misery no more. In the world there is no water but that of Marah, and that is too bitter to afford the least refreshment; but a leaf from the Tree of Life sweetens it, and takes out all the poison. So I find it, whenever that "plant of renown" is with me. He drank of the bitter waters, which makes them sweet for us; and now he sees of the travail of his soul, and is satisfied.
I am continually traveling in this "valley of Baca", and meet with very few to condole with me. In the night, especially, I lie awake and have much anguish and fear; and Satan drags me to look at my sorrow instead of looking to Christ; and here I am held sometimes for long, yet I perceive the Lord hears prayer, and sensibly removes my troubles. I am glad M. P. has met with a companion in the path of tribulation, and hope he will write to me. We have often found a berry here and there, after the gleaning of the vintage, under the leaves on the outmost branches, where we did not look for them.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 423
(To Mr. Yeomans) Sutton Coldfield, 14 August 1851.
My dear Friend,
Wherever I have communications with the people of God, I find them a poor and afflicted people. It is well that it is written, "This is not your rest." The rest which remains for them is laid up in Christ, and our mercy is to prove our title clear. I think the source of our troubles chiefly lies in seeking, some way or other, for quietness here, instead of union and communion with the Lord. How often the words, "Fear not" occur! Surely it is because the Lord sees how our hope is attacked, and by what foolish things we lose sight of him. He as often says, "Take heed;" we are so heedless of the things which cause him to hide his face. He as often bids us to hearken to him; and I am sure if I had hearkened, I should not have had half the trouble which I have fallen into. "O that you had hearkened unto my commandments! then had your peace been as a river, and your righteousness as the waves of the sea." This often fills me with shame, so that I dare not murmur, but confess my sins have procured all; and when I feel I can fully justify God, then he comes sweetly into my heart with all his saving benefits. Here it is I find my right place, that is, the lowest. Bunyan says, "He who is down needs fear no fall."
I am continually removed from these sweet seasons, and often think none are like me; but I find even in my own congregation a great variety of cases; and sometimes the Lord bids me look at the causes why they are as they are. In some I see a great want of spiritual diligence; in others a want of due regard for the provision which the Lord makes for his family, so that they prefer a trifling worldly profit before communion with God. But a few find the Word of God more valuable than their necessary food; and these give a sweet account of God's goodness and mercy to them, overruling many difficulties, assuaging many fears, and keeping their hearts tender and close to him. These are my helps, and encourage me through many difficulties; and the others, by the Lord's help, are made matters of warning and caution in my preaching. I set before them Solomon as one whom the Lord loved, yet was the Lord angry with him because his heart was turned from the Lord, who had appeared unto him twice. If we could lay to heart the loss he suffered, it would fill us with awe. I seldom think of these words but I greatly fear the rod. How prone to wander still, though the Lord has appeared for me times without number!
"When shall we walk the land, and meet
No Canaanite therein?"Yet when I look back at the mighty deliverances the Lord has wrought for me, it encourages me to believe, with all my heart, that he will never leave me nor forsake me. May he comfort you both in all your tribulations.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 424
Sutton Coldfield, 3 September 1851.
Dear Mrs. A.,
There are times and seasons when, like Job, we think that changes and war are against us, and the Lord renews his witnesses against us. We must acknowledge it was strange that Joseph should be cast into the pit, and be sold to the Midianites, to become minister to Pharaoh, and preserve the life of his family; yet God makes no mistakes. Syria may be confederate with Ephraim, but it is our mercy to attend to the Lord's words, "Take heed, and be quiet; fear not, neither be faint-hearted." "Sanctify the Lord of Hosts himself, and let him be your fear, and let him be your dread;" he shall be for a sanctuary for you under the most trying circumstances. Only be like the prophet: "I will wait upon the Lord, who hides his face from the house of Jacob, and I will look for him," and you will hear him say, "You are my servant, O Israel, you shall not be forgotten of me." He can and will say to every deep, "Be dry," when it has fulfilled his purpose. Jacob had hard fare when he had only the ground to lie upon, and a stone for his pillow; but did he not in the end find that the stone on which he rested was that which the world rejects? Here it was the covenant was renewed to him, and you have found the same in your trials. The Lord is putting you in a safe place, called in Scripture "the ends of the earth"; and to such as are there he speaks kindly and says, "Look unto me, and be you saved; for I am God, and there is none else." If your heart be drawn out to look in this way, it is impossible that you should be disappointed or ashamed world without end. He has nowhere said, "Seek you me in vain" (Isaiah 7, 8, 44, 45).
The Lord has a peculiar design in his delays; and our mercy is to search into the cause, for it is often found to be very near us, even within. Perhaps you will find out he wants something altering in you, and that your attention cannot be duly given but when pressed down with difficulties. But he opens fountains in the valley of humiliation, and springs among the hills of difficulty; and these waters are both enlivening and enlightening, and they show us the need of many painful things which we were before too dark to discern. This is always set before us: "All things work together for good," that we may be renewed in the spirit of our minds. Children in general care not how soon they leave school. Hard lessons are difficult to learn; but that sweet name of our God, "Longsuffering", will not leave us untutored, but will lead us to look to his bountiful hand for all things, and make us to know that our dependence is entirely upon him, and that, let us be who we may, we must live by begging, and not forget the beggar that was found in Abraham's bosom. This I sincerely desire for you.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 425
(To Mr. Yeomans) Sutton Coldfield, 16 October 1851.
My dear Friend,
I was exceedingly pleased to find your letter on my return from Pulverbach. The people there expressed such a desire to see me once more that I could not resist. Committing my way to the Lord, he was pleased to give me his sweet approbation, protection, and care; and while alone in the waiting room at the Shrewsbury station, he meekened my spirit, and made me feel how good and how great a thing it is to have the blessing of such a Friend, in our going out and coming in.
On the other hand I had a great weight upon my spirit, that the profiting might appear in myself as well as my hearers. Although I was there but four days, yet I preached twice, and my morning readings were attended the same as the preaching; so that in the week I preached eight times, and traveled 120 miles; but, by the mercy of God, I am returned without the least fatigue, and found the people here as glad to see me safe back again.
All this looks very nice, and so it is; but I find more than this. I perceive, with you, a path of great tribulation. I am sometimes roused in the night with such perplexing, despairing thoughts, that I know not what to do for anguish of spirit; and I am continually told by Satan that I shall have plenty of that in my dying moments, which I am too ready to believe. But now and then I have such a sweet view of my safety in Christ Jesus as to sweep away all the power of the enemy, and all the foolishness of my own heart; and I see such beauty in the Word of the Lord, and the reason why he will appear, as to do away with all the wretched sinkings caused by the evil within. The Lord says, "For my name's sake will I defer mine anger, and for my praise will I refrain for you, that I cut you not off . . . For mine own sake, even for mine own sake, will I do it; for how should my name be polluted? And I will not give my glory unto another" (Isaiah 48:9-11). And then he bids Jacob and Israel, his called, though but a worm, to hearken to this, and fear not, for the Lord is their Redeemer.
When I look back at the miry places in which I appeared to be completely set fast, on the one hand I shrink with fear and horror, and on the other I am astonished how the Lord has brought me through. I can truly say, "You have known my soul in adversities," or I should have sunk outright. His everlasting arms were underneath, and, though I did not see them, helped me up, or I should never have risen to hope. All were against me; all had a blow at me; I was friendless indeed; but the Lord knew there was a need that my bones should be broken, and the iron sinew of my neck made to bend. I found it very serious work when the Lord turned my loveliness into corruption. God only knows the secret sorrows, groans, and cries which I have brought before him, when all beside have seemed to be against me. It was long before I could understand "whom the Lord loves he chastens, and scourges every son whom he receives." As you say, the trial is not once and have done; but there is a continual wave after wave, that the foundation of our hope may not be on the sands.
The latter part of your letter puts me in mind of a sermon I preached about a two weeks ago concerning the necessity of a clean separation from the world: "He who fears God shall come forth of them all" (Ecclesiastes 7:18). One who walks tenderly is unwelcome to a carnal professor; and so is adversity in any shape. I have also found the truth of God's Word, "He who touches the dead body of any man shall be unclean;" he who will even idly converse shall lose for the present communion with God, and access to him, and spiritual death and darkness will ensue, until he is sprinkled with "the water of separation," that is, until he finds power to come to the fountain opened for sin and for impurity, and is cleansed by a new token of Christ's returning love. Whoever shall not thus purify himself shall be cut off from all real, vital, spiritual communion with God and with his people, "because he has defiled the sanctuary of the Lord, and the water of separation has not been sprinkled upon him" (Numbers 19).
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 426
(To M. G.) Sutton Coldfield, 1 November 1851.
My dear Friend,
I have a great love for the people at Pulverbach, and wonder to see the reality of that divine power which has reached the hearts of so many there. I would add this to them all: "As you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk you in him." If his visits become less frequent, search diligently with prayer into the cause, and give him no rest until he appear again. The miners in your neighborhood are obliged to dig deep before they find the ore, and then there is a deal of sifting and washing before it be profitable; so will you all find it in your spiritual warfare. Be very attentive to the still small voice within. God will always have a witness in man's conscience, and spiritual death is sure to follow the least inattention to it. Much comfort and light are lost by slighting the secret admonitions which the Lord all the day long is giving to his people. "The soul of the diligent shall be made fat."
The Psalmist mentions three degrees of danger to be avoided: "Blessed is the man that walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful;" but he whose delight is in the law of the Lord (he says) "shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of waters, that brings forth his fruit in his season." These fruits of the refreshing waters of life are a close union with Christ, a lively perception of the least offence, and a continual coming to the fountain open for sin. Those in whom these fruits are brought forth God calls "trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord"; and he declares they shall not wither. The Lord is pleased to maintain spiritual life by sanctified afflictions, which none know so well as those who are immersed in them. The secret cross is often the heaviest, and no relief can be had from men. God alone can make that straight which our sin without doubt makes crooked. Therefore the Apostle says, "Be sober, be vigilant;" for our adversary the devil is continually going about, seeking whom God will allow him to devour; and none are in greater danger than those who live in an unfruitful profession of religion.
Some of you have known and felt clearly the deadly effect of spiritual leprosy, and have tried all means, but have found no remedy until you came to Christ, who redeemed your life from destruction, and crowned you with loving-kindness and tender mercy. Those who have felt the sweet power of these things will watch the coming and going of the Lord, and will be diligent in the use of God's appointed means, and be fruitful in every good word and work. These cannot make a confederacy with all sorts, but the Lord of Hosts himself is their fear and dread, and he will also be a sanctuary to them in all places where they are scattered in the cloudy and dark day of temptation. Therefore, my friends, dear to me in the Lord, let me entreat you to cleave close to the Lord, for he is a Friend that sticks closer than a brother,
"Not a moment intermitting
His compassion and his care,"and so you will find him when you come to finish your course.
From your loving friend in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 427
(To H. E. G.) Sutton Coldfield, 12 November 1851.
Dear A.,
I was very pleased to see your letter, and thank you much for your invitation to Hertford; but alas, I can now only think of you all; my journeys appear to be at an end. I am, I trust, growing much in love with the people here; I see their profiting is very singular, as well as the savor of death which awfully reaches some of them. This last is attended with an evident rejection of the truth, which is always accompanied by a fruitless, unprofitable, and wicked walk. How often have I observed, in my long life, that there is nothing else but the fear of God that can keep us from the snares of death!
The complaint you make of the hidden evils of the heart is universal, except among the dead. The dead feel not anything. Where there is life, a running sore will smart; and as in nature so in grace, the smart will excite a cry, and it is God's design it should. If you seek for a smoother path, you will find your heart listless, empty, void, and waste. There is nothing so stupidly foolish as a profession of religion without sharp exercises. Such have nothing to say for God, or of anything he has done either for them or in them. The salt has lost its savor, and is fit for nothing but the waste of this world.
It is awful to consider that a religion, which has no life or virtue in it, is fit for the world. Should not you and I look for something better? and if God says that through much tribulation you must enter his kingdom, will you shirk the tribulation, and seek for a smoother path? It is better to say with Hart,
"How harsh so e'er the way,
Dear Savior, still lead on,
Nor leave us until we say,
Father, your will be done.
At most we do but taste the cup,
For you alone have drunk it up."God forbid that we should complain. I am sure the good old paths which Mr. Maydwell spoke of are surrounded with thickets of all sorts. Salvation is a great thing, and few attain to it; but they that seek shall find; perhaps not at the first seeking, nor at the second, yet most certainly what God says is true, "shall find." Therefore, as you say, "You that make mention of the Lord, keep not silence, and give him no rest, until he establish, and make Jerusalem a praise in the earth" (Isaiah 62).
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 428
Sutton Coldfield, 9 January 1852.
Dear Mrs. James Bourne,
Your letter reminded me of many times and seasons in which I thought I had come to the end of all hope, and learned in some small measure what is meant by the Lord's turning man to destruction. I never knew what that meant until I was sent to sit solitary, and seemed deserted of God and man. Afterwards when I considered what were my movements under those afflictions, I could, by the mercy of God, call to mind my prayers and tears, how continually I was crying to the Lord, though I could get no answer; and then I saw that these prayers and tears were to the God of my life, and that his everlasting arms were underneath to prop up my sinking spirit. The Lord showed me many things for which he contended, and the chief was my pride. An iron sinew takes much to break it, and he spared not for my much crying.
I am sure this was to prepare me for the various providences I had to pass through. I cannot tell you what warnings and cautions it has created, and what faithfulness it has added to the ministry. It has filled my mind with holy awe, and made me feel I had a holy God to deal with, who could not be mocked, and that whatever I sowed I should reap; and the language upon my heart was this, You have a great work before you, and but little time for it; I have opened your eyes to see where many have fallen; take heed, watch and be sober; suffer not these things in vain. Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God, and he shall exalt you in due time.
On Tuesday, December 30, I had a sweet confirmation of my old promise. I was pondering over the providence of God, by which I had been sustained all my days, and the words of Psalm 71:20, 21, which I scarcely dare to write they are so great, (yet surely they must be true), were confirmed to me, and Genesis 28:15 was added. I am often cast down, but the time comes when the Lord confirms his words sweetly upon my heart. Even so I believe the Lord has purposes of mercy to you, which you may at a future time more fully know, and understand that loving-kindness and tender mercies crown all his dispensations.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 429
(To the Rev. W. Maddy) Sutton Coldfield, 24 January 1852.
My dear Friend,
I am truly sorry to hear that you are so unwell; and yet I am sure the Lord makes no mistakes, either in his providence or in grace, but all things are ordered in infinite wisdom. Perhaps the Lord has put you into this trial that it may be to you as when the Savior gave the second touch to the blind man's eyes, who then could see distinctly what he was not able to see before. You have had many divine touches, but have looked more at your own shortcomings than at the infinite merits and mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ. We are hastening to the end of our course, and I believe the sweet mercy of God is that we may see our way, and how safely our life is hid in God. David says, "Our God" (not our goodness) "holds our soul in life" (Psalm 66:8, 9). The furnace is to burn off that dross, and to teach us to look at and admire the work of God. The Angel of the everlasting covenant does wondrously; we can do nothing. We are only recipients of his bounty. With all our contrivances we cannot add one cubit to our stature, and after all our pretensions are unprofitable servants; at least I must say so. The work of free grace is humbling and enlightening, and shows us how vain are all our attempts to mend. The more we taste that the Lord is gracious the more we see and feel our abominations, and loathe ourselves on account of them.
I well know what it is to startle at the approach of death; nothing can counteract this but the love of God felt powerfully in the heart. Sometimes I have a sweet glimpse, and sometimes great awe; often I entreat the Lord not to leave me, and now and then have a sweet hope amounting to assurance that be will stand my Friend.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 430
(To the Rev. W. Maddy) Sutton Coldfield, 7 February 1852.
My dear Friend,
What you wrote in your last respecting your clearing your way was the foundation of my sermon on Wednesday evening, in which I mentioned several ways which men devise in order to clear their way. One is by hard struggling to keep from sin; then we think, Now we shall prevail; not being aware we have done the work before we go to the Savior, until we find, alas! the rent is made worse. Another is by suffering persecution for our profession; we are apt to make this a true token of our being right; but we find, in a faithful ministry, that this is making self the sufferer instead of Christ, who suffered that we might live. Another attempt at clearing our way is often made by showing that we have left all errors, and outwardly unite with the true people of God; we then make a bargain, and say, Surely if we thus cleave and abide by the stuff we shall find the Savior at last. There are many more ways by which men think to clear themselves; but I see in the book of Acts, that while Paul and Silas prayed and sang praises to God, suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that "the foundations of the prison were shaken, and immediately all the doors were opened, and every one's bands were loosed." This shaking to the foundation not only loosed the bands of Paul and Silas and the rest of the prisoners, but so alarmed the jailor that he threatened to destroy himself, but the apostles cried out, "Do yourself no harm." Then the poor jailor made no bargains, and said nothing about clearing his way, but made a short cut, "What must I do to be saved?" and they spoke the Word of the Lord to him, and that same hour he washed their stripes and set bread before them. So I saw by all these things that when our case becomes desperate we leave off contriving to clear our way, and cry out at once, What shall I do to be saved?
It is said John leaned on the Savior's bosom, by which he got at secrets which the rest did not know. It is a sweet thing to be under the shadow of the Savior's wings; we are not far from the substance. It is a safe thing to lean on the Beloved, and very dangerous to lean unto our own understanding.
May the Lord be our God and guide unto death. I am sometimes overwhelmed with sorrow and fear, and seem entirely left and forsaken. Then I mourn night and day, praying for help and mercy. I hope you also will remember me.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 431
(To M. M.) Sutton Coldfield, 15 February 1852.
My dear Friend,
I am sincerely glad that the Lord has opened your heart to open your house to his afflicted family, that they may hear the Word of life. No doubt difficulties will arise; and taking up crosses requires stooping, which is always painful work. Nevertheless the Lord's presence counteracts all; and you cannot help calling to mind the innumerable mercies he has shown you, and the small returns he asks at your hands. If there is any likelihood of spiritual profit, Satan will with all his might oppose. You have been called with the rest to stand against the tide of errors. The Lord has shown you much mercy, and has taught you to value it; you will therefore feel anxious that your neighbors may share with you in this great salvation. You are called to bear witness to that truth which the Lord has so often revealed to you. I hope and trust you will be a faithful servant, and a soldier that will learn to endure hardness, and not turn back in the day of battle.
I often find it hard work, and am sorely cast down and heavily laden; but now and then I am greatly relieved for a short time. Today I have had several touches, especially from these words: "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." I would have you go forth in the same strength; because you, as well as I, have many fears and we are apt to think, if a cloud comes over the sun, that it will never shine more. But we are taught otherwise; though every fresh trial rouses our fears, as if the Lord had never returned to us, and never would. You are perhaps ready to say, No; I don't get quite so bad as that. I do; and am often alarmed lest it should be so in a dying hour. I sometimes think that the Lord suffers it so to be, to add spurs to my diligence and give earnestness to my prayers, for the ministry as well as for myself. It is sad work to be lifeless. Such are always prayerless. Praying, and saying prayers, are very different. It is to the first the Lord replies, "I have heard your prayer, and seen your tears" (Isaiah 38:5). So may the Lord do to you.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 432
Sutton Coldfield, 22 April 1852.
To my dear Friends at Pulverbach,
If I am spared until Saturday I shall enter my eightieth year; and having received a kingdom which through the almighty power of the Lord Jesus Christ cannot be moved, I earnestly pray for grace whereby I may "serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear". I have remarked a great want of this heavenly grace with many who even profess to fear God, and am often made ashamed of myself for the same cause. The Lord says, "To this man will I look, even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and trembles at my word;" and I am sure where there is a due sight and sense of sin there will be much holy awe, fear, and trembling.
The woman of Samaria found it so, and said to her friends, "Come, see a man that told me all things that ever I did: Is not this the Christ?" How wonderfully every circumstance in life is ordered in God's all-wise providence! He ordered the well to be dug, and that the woman should go to that well; and the Savior must needs go that way, and be weary and rest there until the woman came. There are none of us but can point out some particular circumstance which led us to hear the truth. I have often wondered at my first visit to Pulverbach; I then thought those small beginnings would end as small, but surely one and another has proclaimed, "Come, see a man that told me all that ever I did." Was not this the Spirit's work upon the heart, convicting the sinner of his lost condition; and did not this lead to a further discovery of the Lord's mercy? This makes men leave their water-pots for his sake, and spread his renown abroad.
Zaccheus heard of the fame of Jesus, and spared no pains to get a sight of him. The Lord, who knows the hearts of all, had put that anxious desire into his heart, and therefore in great mercy gave him a kind look, and bid him, "Come down, for today I must abide at your house;" and he received him joyfully. Have not many of you received the Lord joyfully? It is a great mercy to be able by the grace of God highly to value those turning providences which the Lord brings about when we are first enlightened with the light of life. We can never sufficiently praise God for the first touch of this salvation. "We were like them that dream." It is some time before we can understand his glorious voice, or the lighting down of his arm. At first we conclude he is come to destroy us, there seems such a scattering and tempest; but we find in the end there is nothing destroyed but what can well be spared. I know of no gift equal to the fear of the Lord; it is always a fountain of life continually springing up with refreshings from the presence of the Lord, and always leads us in all our troubles to make him our refuge.
I have met with many troubles in my life, which I have from my heart been enabled to acknowledge were the fruit of my sin; and under the deep and heavy hand of God I have learned to bear his indignation until he was pleased to plead my cause; which he always did, when the fiery trial had burnt up a measure of the dross. It is thus he renews our strength, and makes us mount up with wings as eagles, and run without being weary. You have had some among you who for the want of this renewing have not mounted upwards, but have grown weary; and it is well for us all to be humbled, and keep in mind that it is by grace alone we stand.
I could wish my poor old friend Molly Chidley could find some brighter views as the sun sets. The shadows are lengthening with her, and she, like the rest of us, will feel the need of the light of life shining bright to comfort her in the dark valley. I have many thoughts every day respecting my own end. If the Lord will put his arm underneath, all will be well; and sometimes I have a sweet assurance he will never leave me, never forsake me.
Your affectionate friend in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 433
(To Mr. H. Morgan) Sutton Coldfield, 19 June 1852.
Dear Mr. Morgan,
I think I can see that the Lord has taken you in hand, and that you will find him a refiner and purifier of silver. He does not purify hay or stubble, or any such thing. He put you into a fire of affliction in the loss of your dear wife, and in many ways your trials would increase. He has now put you into another fire which may not at first sight appear to be very hot; yet I conceive the sickness and approaching death of your minister will be a very great trial to you and many more. While it pleased God to spare him among you there seemed no choice but him; but when a new line of things appears, then men begin to show themselves. What havoc there was when Mr. Huntington died! Everyone went his own way. So will it be, in some degree, at Leicester. If you suppose you have sufficient wisdom to discern the right way, you will be sure to choose the wrong; but if the Lord makes your wisdom foolishness, you will find a safe guide, because he has promised to make fools wise unto salvation.
Satan is always watching what is the most inviting bait for each professor. He varies the bait most subtly to suit the times, circumstances, and dispositions of those he seeks to betray. If he sees a degree of tenderness, he baits the snare most plausibly with scriptures, and unceasingly proves clearly that his is the only way that can be right. We often do not see the snare, until we feel the smart. God said, "In the day you eat thereof you shall surely die." How often is this broken through by listening to those whom God has not sent! And the clear stream of the water of life, running into the muddy stream, becomes as muddy; and in all this you cannot see the design of Satan, which is nothing but to blind your eyes to the truth; and from one false step every succeeding step widens the diverging ways, which never meet again, unless the sovereign power of God is displayed.
Mr. Chamberlain's affliction fills me with awe. It says, your turn will be next; and causes many sober thoughts. O what a mercy it is to be brought to the truth, and to be held to it, and for the truth to make us free! I look around and see, as I have seen in time past, many withered branches. The Lord keep you in this perilous time.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 434
(To R. H.) Sutton Coldfield, 21 June 1852.
Dear afflicted Friend,
You are often in my mind, and your case tells me that through much tribulation we must all enter the kingdom. However bitter yours may appear, yet how palatable and sweet it is made by the grace of God! The Lord is infinitely wise, and knows there is a need for it; and also infinitely compassionate, not only to put his fear into your heart, but to provide for you, though so helpless, such comfortable outward protection; and no doubt there are times in which you can say, He does all things well.
I have been lately extremely pressed with much spiritual trouble, and began to think the Lord would make a full end of me. I trembled at the judgments of God all round about me and had a fearful sight of God's holiness and majesty. But the Lord showed me a place by him, where I could be hid from all fear and torment, and where I might see the Father's face with joy; and that place was in the cleft of the smitten Rock. I watched to see if the Lord would hear my earnest prayer, for surely if I ever prayed I did then, that I might have a fresh discovery of his kindness, love, and mercy. This I recommend to you as the best and only relief you can find on earth. His love is strong as death. It has carried me safely through many dark places where I must have lost my way, if I had not had such a guide.
But I know that our God is a God that hears and answers prayer. My text for tomorrow night is, "For this shall every one that is godly pray unto you in a time when you may be found: surely in the floods of great waters they shall not come near unto him" (Psalm 32:6). The time here alluded to is the time when the Savior first looked upon us; a miserable time it was to us; he found us polluted and in our blood, naked and helpless! and in this condition it was a time of love in him to pass by us, and to give us a look of mercy, and to say unto us, Live (Ezekiel 16:6). How wonderful that our misery and the Savior's mercy should meet! For this let everyone that has but one spark of the fear of God pray with hope. May you and I have an abundance of this mercy! What manner of love is this? Who can declare it? "God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son;" and it pleased the Father to bruise him for our sakes. O how great must this salvation be, and how shamefully unfruitful am I!
Your companion in tribulation and affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 435
(To C. B.) Sutton Coldfield, 16 July 1852.
My dear C.,
Although I have appeared to take but little notice of your letters, I have been much engaged in mind concerning your conflicts in the exercise of your ministry. I am sincerely glad to hear that your meeting with the people is profitable, and I believe the foundation of the profit is in keeping you low. The moment you can think you are anything, that moment you are fit for nothing. The Lord will teach us that necessary lesson, and if we cannot learn it any other way, he will teach it in the furnace of affliction. When the Lord showed some small portion of his holiness, Isaiah said, "Woe is me, for I am undone." This was his first step to usefulness. The next was the live coal from off the altar touching his lips; this warmed his heart and filled it with love and mercy; and when he thus found himself purged from all iniquity, he heard a still small voice from the Lord, saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" This voice you have heard, and the Lord has bid you go and tell the people what he has done for you, or you would not be profitable to the few which are about you.
Now, my dear friend, if it should so happen that the Lord should put it into the heart of any of his people to entreat your help, let there be no idle excuse, lest the Lord should bring a cloud over you; but keep this in mind, "Him that honors me I will honor." We cannot honor the Lord more than in a readiness to spiritual obedience. Abram went out, not knowing where he went; but the Lord showed him the land, as he had promised, and said to him, "Fear not, Abraham; I am your shield, and your exceeding great reward." So if our movements are in this way according to the mind of the Lord, he will be our safeguard from all dangers; but idle excuses when the Lord calls always end in bondage and confusion. In all my long life I have never found it otherwise; and he has sweetly added, surely, "I will not leave you, until I have done that which I have spoken to you of."
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 436
(To his Daughter H. P.) Sutton Coldfield, 13 September 1852.
Dear P.,
On Friday evening I thought all was over with me, both body and soul. After all had gone to bed, and I was left alone, I fell into the deepest trouble. I thought my complaint was gaining a head, and that I could not long continue; but what was worse than this, I think I never felt so completely shut out; it was indeed to me a brazen gate which I could not open, yet if ever I cried and roared, and begged and entreated, I did then. I reminded the Lord of what I thought he had done for me; but because I could get no answer I began to fear I had been mistaken from the first, and that now I should find no relief. I begged of the Lord to heal me, for none else could, and earnestly entreated that he would somehow make known that he had heard my prayer; but it seemed as if he would hear me, like Saul, no more. In this condition I went to bed, hopeless and full of alarm. Next morning I was no worse in body, but sorely cast down. In my study, early in the morning, I came to the reading of these words, when quite alone: "My father has troubled the land; see, I pray you, how mine eyes have been enlightened because I tasted a little of this honey. How much more, if haply the people had eaten freely today of the spoil of their enemies which they found? for had there not been now a much greater slaughter among the Philistines?" (1 Samuel 14:29, 30). This reached my heart, and melted me into contrition, and I begged hard, and said, O Lord, if I could but get ever so small a taste of that honey, that is all I want. The Lord then came, and loosed my bonds, and then it appeared too good to be true. How could I look for mercy? How could the Lord look upon me? Quick as lightning I looked around and saw many much better, yet the Lord would be gracious and confirm his love to me, and made my subject for Sunday sweet, and gave me his sweet presence in the delivery, morning and evening, from the same text, Haggai 2:18, 19:I have not yet lost the savor of this visit, and hope I never shall lose the humbling effect. It has filled me with awe and holy reverence, and, I think, has been profitable to the people.
On Sunday, also, the Lord came again in reading Erskine's Gospel Sonnets:
"Do you his person fair embrace,
Beyond his blessings all?
Sure then you boldly may, through grace,
Your Husband Jesus call."This came with new tokens; I could call Jesus my beloved Husband, and he owned me as his spouse. These are substances, which support us in our troubles. Moreover, I must not forget to say that my cries and tears were heard on Friday night, though I did not then know it; for the Lord healed my bodily complaint, and I have been quite well ever since.
Your affectionate father, James Bourne
Letter 437
(To Mr. and Mrs. Thaine) Sutton Coldfield, 20 October 1852.
My dear Friends,
I seldom hear from you, but often think of you. I have found in my old age many more exercises than I ever looked for, and sometimes think that the Lord suffers me to fall into these severe conflicts that I may with feeling tell the people that he will not be trifled with. I have at times some small view of the majesty of God, and then if the Savior hides his face, I sink lower than anyone can imagine.
How often I call to mind the foolish confidence of many old professors whom I have known, who talked about not regarding their frames and feelings, pretending that they knew that the Lord never changed; which, in one sense, is true. But we find in the Word that the Lord sometimes smiles and sometimes frowns, and surely these should work something in our frames and feelings. For my part, I find it very easy to perceive a cloud gathering over my head, but very difficult to get it removed. My pretending to believe will not move it. I feel what the Savior once said is true: "I have somewhat to say unto you." Nothing but the grace of life will give this answer: "Master, say on." And then I feel there are many lessons to be learned besides comfort, or dry confidence. The Lord talks to me about humbling myself under his mighty hand, before the exaltation; and he looks at many things, and bids me use the pruning knife to many fruitless branches, first in myself, and then in the people. These various exercises often bring me very low, even so as sometimes to fear that I have altogether mistaken the way, and shall never find the light of God's countenance again. This destroys all false confidence, for I am made to feel that it brings nothing in. Then I cry, as I did when I first found him, "Lord, save, or I perish;" and that cry brings me nearer to him than anything, and he smiles again upon me, and bids me, "Go in peace." Then I boldly assert the Lord's goodness to the chief of sinners, and tell the people what a Savior I have found, and that assuredly they who seek shall find the same. This encourages them as well as myself; and those who have these sharp conflicts are glad to hear a minister who meets with as many difficulties as themselves.
We have many changes here; and many strangers occasionally come, with whom we are not in the least acquainted, nor do we know the cause of their coming. Yet we have a few who feel the power of the truth, and are laboring to maintain clear evidences. These never say that they do not care for their frames and feelings; but show great anxiety that spiritual life may be maintained in the soul.
I am made to look back at my father's house, and remember their religious life, how awfully destitute of the true fear of God, and how ignorant of the power of godliness; and I must say of myself I was as a firebrand more than half burnt, plucked out of the burning. I was more heedless than all the rest; but God looked upon me with an eye of mercy. How sensibly I feel I have nothing to glory in but the free sovereign grace of God! "God commends his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 438
(To his Daughter P.) Sutton Coldfield, 6 November 1852.
My dear P.,
I know what you mean by being dejected almost to despair, and in bitter anguish crying to the Lord; and with you I never like these things to die away without some clear outlet from the Lord. I have at times such a view of that endless eternity which opens immediately before me, that my soul is the principal thing that engages my attention. How few live as if they in the least regarded eternity! Like you, I often turn the Bible over and over, and yet find no relief; but the whole of my profession of religion appears only a fable. Sometimes the Lord comes down like rain upon the mown grass; I then say, "Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord, and the people whom he has chosen for his own inheritance." It is a wonderful mercy that the Lord should provide for his people according to their wants, and when heart and flesh fail, should then himself be their portion forever. I am exceeding harassed with the fear and alarm of my end, which appears very near. I have continually sounding in my ears, The Lord will then forsake you, and all will be dark. Nothing removes these dismal feelings but a renewed token of the Lord's presence.
Often, too, I am assailed with the sudden fears you speak of, and cannot easily get rid of them. Daily I seek the Lord, that he would preserve me from those alarms which come upon me in the night. I find it the hardest thing in the world to maintain spiritual life, and keep open access to a throne of grace. I often think many of the simple people here have more spiritual life than I, which makes me ashamed, and in honor to prefer them.
I often fear taking care of the public vineyard, and neglecting my own. I cannot deny that I have much life, but I would have the other half, that is, peace (Romans 8:6). It is the life which discovers the death, and until I perceive the healing Sun of righteousness arise, I am full of despondency.
I never could live upon what the Gibeonites presented to Joshua, to make him believe they had come from far. They lied and said, "This our bread we took hot for our provision, . . . but now, behold, it is dry, and it is moldy." I see much of this dry and moldy profession, which is swallowed down because no counsel is asked of the Lord. I hope none of you, my children, will be induced to eat such dry and moldy stuff. You appear to be on the verge of a very serious trial in the approaching end of your ministry. May the Lord lay it deeply on all your hearts to seek counsel at his hands.
I often wish for my old companion in tribulation, and feel the absence of my children; but the Lord has made it up in many ways.
Your affectionate father, James Bourne
Letter 439
(To M. A. H.) Sutton Coldfield, 16 November 1852.
My dear Friend,
Your letter makes me feel as if my old friends had not entirely forgotten me. What you write is very true; there can be no safe teaching in any other way. "You gave your Holy Spirit to instruct them;" and I am sure we shall never look well if we have not the heavenly manna (Nehemiah 9:20). Christ is that bread of life, and they that eat thereof shall never die.
Light will always make manifest. I never have a visit from the Lord, however sweet, but it comes with such a discovery of my sin, that it makes me cry out, "Woe is me!" It is indeed a light that shines in a dark place, and though it has this effect, mercy, love, pardon, yet I cannot forgive myself. In this low place of self-abasement I perceive an increase of godly fear, and a double watchfulness on my whole course. This is the voice of Jesus. He will speak peace unto his people; but he always reminds them not to turn again unto folly (Psalm 85:8). "He will not always chide, neither will he keep his anger forever." It is an unspeakable mercy to understand the voice of the Lord. The world mocks at such things, but I am made greatly to stand in awe, and feel it an inconceivable favor to be thought of at all, while thousands on my right hand and on my left eagerly rush to destruction.
The Lord tells us, in Isaiah 54, that he has called us as a woman forsaken and grieved, hated and deserted by the world, and refused by all; and "for a small moment", he also says, "I have forsaken you." We may not be aware what this "small moment" means; I have always felt nothing can make it small, until "with great mercies" he gathers me. I have been immersed in these sorrows until, as in Paul's shipwreck, all hopes of being saved have been taken away; and then the Lord has with an oath confirmed his love to me, in the 9th verse of that chapter; and in the 11th verse has shown his abundant compassion towards me; and so with great mercies has he gathered me.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 440
(To R. B. B.) Sutton Coldfield, 19 November 1852.
Dear R.,
There is seldom a day passes but I am thinking of you. There are three things that are uppermost in my mind, the important period of life you are now entering, the frail body which the Lord has been pleased to suffer you to carry about, and the incorruptible seed which he has sown in your heart. My mind and my anxiety is to know how these three agree to live together. I am persuaded that since the Lord has himself in his infinite wisdom brought them together, he has a secret way of making a friendly joint. Do you ask how to get at this secret? He himself tells you: "The secret of the Lord is with them that fear him." As he dealt with Abraham, (Genesis 17 and 18) so will he deal with us; he will not altogether hide his purposes from us, but will in some way show us how to walk before him and to be perfect. This is revealed to us in diligent prayer.
It has pleased God just now to put you in a slippery place; but if you can join in David's prayer you will not fall: "Hold you me up, and I shall be safe." Be cautious of a backsliding heart. You never fared better than when the Lord was near and dear to you; and you never can get higher in life by any means so well as by the power of God and the wisdom of God. In all your progress let these be foremost, and you will then retain his blessing, and he will guide you step by step and keep your feet from sliding. False steps are not easily recovered. Decays in soul stop all energy in prayer, and then nothing goes right. Remember, God asks, "Where is the wise?" Are not the learned in the wisdom of this world for the most part in the ruins of the fall?
But as it has pleased God to combine in your case those three things I have mentioned, be sure you seek not to separate them. Especially keep your way clear to the fountain opened. "Let your garments be always white, and let your head lack no ointment;" and "whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might" (Ecclesiastes 9:8-10); and the Lord bless you.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 441
(To M. G.) Sutton Coldfield, 3 December 1852.
My dear Friend,
Every winter draws me nearer to my end, and I am made to feel it must be very soon, and I am anxiously seeking the Lord that he would be with me. When I look within I am filled with alarms, and think there can be no hope for me. A heavy cloud gathers over all that I have believed the Lord has wrought, and I see nothing before me but darkness. This brings about very serious work, and I ponder my way, and often, unknown to all, think that I feel the near approach of death, and not the lively hope which alone can support at that time. Prayer seems unheard, and the fountain sealed; and I dare not be contented with what I used to hear, in my younger days, from professors who told me that they did not trust to frames and feelings.
Where the soul is insensible to the frowns and rebukes of the Lord, there can be no access at a throne of grace. What is all religion without communion with the Father through Christ, and the Spirit sealing the truth and reality of these things? I always suspect people when they begin to charge their deadness and slothfulness on God's sovereignty, and not on their own sin. David says, "One thing have I desired of the Lord; that will I seek after." It was that he might dwell in the sensible presence of the Lord all the days of his life; and he adds, "For in the time of trouble" (and such is death, the last and worst conflict) "he shall hide me in his pavilion; in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me upon a rock"—the Rock of Ages. O how difficult it is to get there; and more difficult to continue!
When the judgments of God are abroad in the earth, the children of this world appear as careless as ever; but I am made to stand in awe, and feel I cannot fathom his dispensations, nor know what judgment my sins may provoke the Lord to send upon me. I like David's expressions: "You are my hiding place;" and "I flee unto you to hide me." A day seldom passes but I pray, "Enter not into judgment with me, O Lord, for in your sight shall no flesh living be justified." David gives us a beautiful example for our encouragement, when he says, "I acknowledged my sin unto you, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and you forgave the iniquity of my sin." This is the way the Lord deals in mercy with me; but these visits are not so frequent as I need; and for the want of them I cannot speak so boldly, without natural fear, as he does: "Surely in the floods of great waters they shall not come near unto him" (Psalm 35:5, 6).
You have had a very serious and heavy affliction in part of your family. We never know when these shall appear, but we know they do not come by chance. God says that he stirs up our nest as the eagle, that there may be no strange God with us. It is that we may consider in our heart, that as a man chastens his son, so the Lord our God chastens us, to bring us into "a good land, a land of brooks of water, of fountains and depths that spring out of valleys and hills" (Deuteronomy 32:11 and 8:5-7). So I trust we shall find it to the end.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 442
(To H. E. G.) Sutton Coldfield, 27 January 1853.
My dear A.,
It is a rare thing for the Lord to call a poor creature by his grace, and have nothing for him to do. No member of the mystical body can be useless. I believe the Lord will manifest that truth to you, and by degrees you will be less surprised if you are set to labor in what may not be pleasant to the flesh. You, as well as I, must remember that we are not our own, but are "bought with a price"; and such a price as to make us a peculiar treasure to the Purchaser.
Obedience to that Purchaser is one thing we had need to attend to; and to every disciple he says, "Let him deny himself and take up his cross daily, and follow me." We are sometimes called to follow the Lord in very difficult places; but as he goes before us, he becomes our Guide. Then take care so to walk as to keep him in sight. The longer we are without the sight of this Guide the further we wander, and have hard work to find our way back again. David prays, "Take not your Holy Spirit from me;" for it is the Spirit who testifies of Christ, and guides us into all truth. We can know nothing of our adoption into God's family, only as the Spirit bears witness with our spirit that we are the children of God. When we find not this evidence so clear as we desire, we begin to be cast down, and keenly feel our desolate condition; but the Lord tells us that "when the poor and needy seek water and there is none, and their tongue fails for thirst," then it is that he will open rivers of living waters upon the mountains of human impossibilities, and refresh the soul with new discoveries of love and mercy, so that we shall be able to say with the Psalmist, "Who remembered us in our low estate, for his mercy endures forever." For "he will be very gracious unto you at the voice of your cry; When he shall hear it, he will answer you" (Isaiah 30:19).
Inasmuch as the sweet and heavenly power of these truths enters our hearts, so shall we "fear the name of the Lord from the west, and his glory from the rising of the sun". O how precious were these words to me yesterday! I cannot describe what I felt of this glory of the Lord rising upon me, the glory of his grace, love, mercy, redemption, salvation, and help in all trouble; so that when the enemy comes in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord lifts up this standard against him, and bids me, "Arise," from all my fears and alarms, and "shine," because of all this glory having arisen upon me (Isaiah 59:19; 60:1). O how sweet it is to be so kept! "If you abide in me" (said the Lord Jesus), "and my words abide in you, you shall ask what you will, and it shall be done unto you. Herein is my Father glorified, that you bear much fruit; so shall you be my disciples."
I would entreat you not to complain how blind and fruitless you are. This never mends the matter, and we call it mock modesty. But diligently search into what are the right means of being fruitful. I find nothing short of sensible union with Christ, who says, "From me is your fruit found." (Hosea 14:8). Spiritual life maintained in the soul will always bring about communion and fellowship with the Father and the Son; and the Holy Spirit will seal this home as a truth that will do to live and to die by.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 443
(To R. B. B.) Sutton Coldfield, 28 February 1853.
My dear R.,
I am sincerely glad to hear of your success, but am still more anxious that you should, in the midst of these changes, retain the power of drawing near unto God. Consider and call to mind the sweet peace you once found, and you will acknowledge no prosperity can equal that of divine and spiritual life. This turn in your affairs may be carried on with much godly fear; and I am quite sure, if that be tenderly attended to, the blessing of God will be found in it; and you will cry with David, "O how great is your goodness, which you have laid up for them that fear you, which you have wrought for them that trust in you before the sons of men! You shall hide them in the secret of your presence from the pride of man; you shall keep them secretly in a pavilion from the strife of tongues." The Lord seems to have put a cross upon you for the express purpose of teaching you that, while you can walk with him, you shall find his overruling power and mercy sanctifying it to your spiritual profit. But if you lose sight of these things, the viper will bite; and "the backslider in heart shall be filled with his own ways."
The Lord bless you, and go with you, and be your guide. You will find, if you apply to him, that he will give you skill above that which is natural. I have often gone to a great man's house with much fear and much prayer, and have wondered that I, of all men, should be so much praised, seeing I had no talent. But God gave the power to please. The present Archbishop of Canterbury was a pupil of mine, and the late Prime Minister, the Earl of Derby, and Lord M— , and several more of the present day. It was the Lord who carried me through, and that with such credit as will be a wonder to me while I live.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 444
(To R. B. B.) Sutton Coldfield, 9 March 1853.
My dear R.,
I was much pleased to read your letter. Can you not see how the Lord has kept his eye upon you, and has been mindful of you in many peculiar ways? What could you have done without him, and what can you do without the continuance of his blessing? Let him but turn his back upon you, and you will feel your loss every way. As I was obliged to pray to the Lord for favor with my employers, and when prayer was neglected was made to feel a sharp knock for my foolish independence, so must you pray for success in treating the commonest diseases, if you mean to prosper.
I never know how, but this I know, the blessing of God is only found in making him our Friend and our Leader and Commander in all things. The moment we put our success upon our talent, or any pretended nonsense, the Lord will leave us to try the strength of such materials; and he will presently show us that he has chosen us out of the world, to show forth his praise, not our own; and that he must be our all, both in spiritual and in temporal matters. It is not talent, but the blessing of God; and he will have us seek earnestly for it, and prosper us in so doing.
I hope to hear of your cleaving close to the Lord, as I am more than sure that everything worth having is included in it.
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 445
Sutton Coldfield, 24 April 1853
My dear Friends at Pulverbach,
I this day enter my eighty-first year. Few and evil have been my days, in one sense, but many of my days have been spent in forgetfulness of God; and since I have known him (to my shame be it spoken) I have made sad returns for the great mercies received. My backsliding heart has often and woefully grieved the Spirit of God; hence have arisen all my afflictions; nothing but the rod of correction could bring me back. I have indeed gone through fire and through water, but it was by the tender mercies of God I went through, and was not consumed; and what is best of all, he who brought me out brought me out into a wealthy place; and if you ask where that may be found, I reply, In the bosom of God's everlasting love. And though I am now often struggling with many fears and doubts, his returning love confirms my feeble hope. I often consider the two securities which are given us; this spiritual life which the Lord has wrought in our souls is maintained and kept hidden with Christ in God, and sealed home by the Spirit upon our hearts and consciences with these words: "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." O what has not this precious blood of Christ done for us! What an awful and eternal ruin lay upon us! "You has he quickened, who were dead." It pleased the Father to bruise him, and notwithstanding that he declares, "He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied."
I have been in great trouble, and quite borne down by it, yet earnestly crying to the Lord. He made known to me in my deepest affliction that I was part of his Zion, and said he had chosen Zion and desired it for his habitation, and added, "This is my rest forever; here will I dwell, for I have desired it. I will abundantly bless her provision: I will satisfy her poor with bread" (Psalm 132:13, 14). O how sweetly this entered my heart, and what contrition and deep humiliation it wrought! I found that his mercy endures forever, his love everlasting and unchangeable; and though I cannot retain the full sweetness of these things, yet I have a pleasant hope before me that the Lord will watch over me for good. "Trials may press of every sort;" yet I am enabled to cry "unto God most high; unto God that performs all things for me"; who fulfills his promises to me, and sends from above and saves me.
And now, my dear friends, if troubles and afflictions pursue you, call this to mind, it is the Beloved that knocks; and though his locks are wet with the dew of the night, how slow some of you are to open to him! (Song 5:2, etc.). You must acknowledge he deserves better treatment. Pray let him be better treated: serve him first. He never puts off the poor and needy who are earnestly seeking for the waters of life, but opens rivers where they are least expected. Some of you will say, That is true, for when I have been looking for and fearing the rod, he has come with smiles, and has said, Fear not. It is this that will produce a tender walk and a watchful eye; and such words as these will sink deep into their hearts: "Grieve not the Holy Spirit, whereby you are sealed unto the day of redemption."
A will without signing and sealing brings nothing in; it is of no avail. So you and I must not only know the will of the Father, but it must be signed in our behalf with the precious blood of Christ: then the Spirit bears witness that all things are ours, and we are Christ's, and Christ is God's. Then take my advice: labor to enter into this rest; every other rest will be too short. Be much with your Lord in secret, and your labor shall not be in vain in him. This is the only way to be able to say with truth, "He loved me, and gave himself for me."
Yours sincerely in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 446
(To his Daughter H. P.) Sutton Coldfield, 6 May 1853.
My dear P.,
Thank God we are all well, though as usual I am greatly cast down; but this morning I had a sweet assurance of the Lord's favor. While mourning after the Lord, and fearing he would never return, he said, "I will surely do you good." This was quite sufficient, and I had many views of the Lord's faithfulness, and could not help taking it for my morning subject. Jacob had as many fears as I, yet the Lord was faithful. Who would have thought that Jacob would ever have had a sight of Joseph again? Yet such are the mysterious dealings of God in his providence, that things unfold which we could never naturally look for. The Lord often sees it good to cross our purposes, but always sanctifies every cross to make it profitable to his family in the end.
I greatly fear a dead religion at my time of life; continual symptoms of my approaching end make me anxious that spiritual life may be in exercise, and that my lamp may burn bright, which cannot be unless it be often and quickly replenished with the oil of the Lord's grace. Renewed tokens are very encouraging, and though they may be transient, yet they leave a savor of rest, and a sweet tenderness and godly fear. But oh! how soon we lose sight of these things; at least I do, and return to my old place of mourning. I have to say tomorrow, if I am spared, that Satan's shield and buckler is unbelief, and so strong a piece of armor as to shut out the whole Word and work of God, until a stronger than he comes and spoils him of that armor, and works faith in the heart to believe that God "performs all things for me".
What sweet words the Savior says to one of his disciples: "O you of little faith, wherefore did you doubt?" "I, the Lord, change not." These are the things that shame me, and make me feel what a fool I am, and how little I know of the Lord, and of his faithfulness and truth. I do often "abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes", wondering that the Lord does not deal with me after my sins.
I find Satan shifts his ground; and if one thing will not prove a snare, he will try another. He is unceasing in his attempts. If he cannot prevail on the world to persecute, he will try to sow discord among brethren, and in so plausible a manner that they shall think they lose nothing by it. But when the day of trial comes on, then they find all is not just as they expected to find it. There is a back-reckoning of many things, and among the rest what the Lord calls "filthy rags", not put off, nor washed in the blood of the Lamb. These crooked things must be made straight before there can be a near approach to the Lord, or that salvation revealed which made Mrs. Cull say, "All is pardoned, and now I have nothing to do but to die." This is what I want to come to, and what I pray for, for you and the rest of my children.
Your affectionate father, James Bourne
Letter 447
(To J.G.) Sutton Coldfield, 14 May 1853.
My dear Friend,
I was much pleased to see your letter, and am truly glad to hear that the Lord so condescendingly and graciously looks upon his people from time to time. If it were not so with me, I think I should utterly wither; for instead of increasing in comfort as I approach nearer to Jordan, things look worse and worse; but the Lord knows my alarms, and sometimes comes and says, "Be of good cheer;" I observe your ways; I will heal you (Isaiah 57:18); "Be not afraid; it is I;" "I will never leave you nor forsake you." I sometimes think there is not another in God's family who is so barren as myself. Oh how dry my prayers often are! I wonder how I get through my labors in the pulpit; the Lord helps me: and the people will have it they are fed and profited. Yes, these touches are, as you say, very transient; and what is worse, I forget them very soon.
We have a few here who seem to gain by trading, and some who excite my fears. When the angel of the Lord came to Joshua, Satan stood at his right hand. And we also read, "There was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan came also among them." I find I need not go far to feel his influence, yet I think sometimes I am also like Job, "I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes." The Lord is pleased to make great discoveries to us of our sin and the condition to which it has reduced us, that we may really feel the exceeding sinfulness of it, and not be always thinking the Savior's yoke is galling, or his burden heavy. Self-denial is that which seems to press the closest upon us all. I feel secret prayer is the most difficult to exercise profitably. I cannot express the ten thousand hindrances Satan puts in the way of this. Sometimes he will not let me think of one word; either the door, or the candle, or something or nothing, is put in the way; because he knows,
"Prayer is appointed to convey
The blessings God designs to give."I am greatly ashamed to own this, and I had need to be. I wish it were not a truth.
It is late on Saturday night, and my heart begins to tremble at what is before me. I cannot tell how earnestly I beg the Lord not to leave me, nor to expose my ignorance; and then sometimes he comforts me with these words, "God has chosen the foolish things of the world, to confound the wise," that there may be no room to boast.
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 448
(To Mrs. James Bourne) Sutton Coldfield, 19 May 1853.
My dear Friend,
You have found what I was saying last night true—not cast off forever. We often fear it is so, and like the Psalmist, "We see not our signs;" but the Lord brings us into these perilous places that we may see his power, his mercy, and his love. "O how great is your goodness, which you have laid up for them that fear you! . . . You shall hide them in the secret of your presence." We know that his presence is salvation, and that the world cannot enter into that mystery. It is a great thing for the Lord to know us by name, and for our names to be written in the Lamb's book of life. Our troubles may be many and sharp, yet these will not erase the name; and, as our hymn says,
"Whom once he loves he never leaves,
But loves him to the end."The Lord will make his children stand in awe of him, and submit to his sovereignty. Respecting your babe, it may be the removal was a great mercy to you. We do well not to dispute his sovereignty.
There is nothing like being able to lean on the bosom of the Lord. His love overtops everything. We are subject to many changes, sometimes even to feel and fear that all is gone; there seems nothing left but darkness. But "Will the Lord cast off forever? and will he be favorable no more?" Not so; "Though you slay me, yet will I trust in you." Paul gives a long list of troubles, but declares that he was not forsaken. David was greatly distressed, when messengers came and told him that Ziklag was burnt, and his wives and children all gone, and the people threatened to stone him; but he inquired of the Lord, "Shall I pursue after this troop ? Shall I overtake them?" and the Lord answered, "Pursue, for you shall surely overtake them, and without fail recover all." In this way I have been brought through many troubles; and whatever difficulties you have to encounter, remember it is written (Psalm 110), "He shall drink of the brook in the way, therefore shall he lift up the head." In Christ dwells all fullness; and "thanks be unto God, who always causes us to triumph in Christ, and makes manifest the savor of his knowledge by us." Thus is the sweet effect of divine union with Christ tenderly maintained, and may the blessing of it abide upon you both.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 449
Sutton Coldfield, 23 May 1853.
My dear C. B.,
I ought to have written to your mother before this, but many things have prevented, and among the rest, increasing age and infirmities. The promise is both merciful and good, "The Spirit helps our infirmities." I have often found this on entering the pulpit, or I should have utterly fainted. The text yesterday morning was suitable to myself and several others: "Our help is in the name of the Lord" (Psalm 124). They that trust in that name can never be moved. It is called a "strong tower", and there have I often found refuge. He has proved to me "my goodness and my fortress; my high tower and my deliverer; my shield, and he in whom I trust".
It was this help that carried Jacob through all his troubles, and without this help Moses would not stir one foot. He said, "If your presence go not with me, carry us not up hence;" and (what is very worthy for us to notice) having obtained the promise of help, he opened his mouth wide, and asked for more. "I beseech you, show me your glory;" and to this again the Lord added, "I will make all my goodness pass before you."
Our own strength is nothing but the doubts and fears and false alarms we are perpetually sinking into, like miry clay; but the iron strength of hope will cry out, "Though you slay me, yet will I trust in you." So Jehoshaphat found it; and if we are enabled to sanctify the Lord of Hosts himself, and let him be our fear and our dread, we shall always find that he will be a Sanctuary to us, let our trouble be what it may. Isaiah says, "I will wait upon the Lord, that hides his face from the house of Jacob, and I will look for him" (Isaiah 13:13-17).
Your affectionate friend, James Bourne
Letter 450
(To H. E. G.) Sutton Coldfield, 2 July 1853.
My dear A.,
I was glad to see your letter. Your descriptions of darkness and fear are much as I feel. I sometimes greatly fear lest the Lord should enter into judgment with me; but I perceive he suffers the burden to increase until it is too heavy for me, and then surprises my soul by saying, Come unto me, and I will in no wise cast you out. It is fearful for the avenger of blood to pursue us; but when we hear the Lord declare, "Deliver him from going down to the pit; I have found a ransom" (Job 33:24), O what sweet relief is this! I was this day full of trouble and fears, and the above words helped me out of them all; and then my love began to burn towards the best Beloved, and he became the "chief among ten thousand" to me.
I am often surprised at the power with which the Lord speaks upon our hearts in the time of trouble; how it removes all fear and dread; what fresh discoveries it opens of the exceeding sinfulness of sin; what havoc it makes of all false confidence; and how low it places us at the feet of the Savior. This causes hope again to abound, and we are encouraged to believe, "He saves the poor from the sword . . . and from the hand of the mighty; so the poor has hope, and iniquity stops her mouth" (Job 5:15, 16). Then we see that "the eye of the Lord is upon them that fear him", upon them that can exercise that sweet grace of hope, to deliver their souls from spiritual death, "and to keep them alive in famine" (Psalm 33:18, 19).
This hope, which is compared to an anchor, is said to be "sure and steadfast", because it enters into that which is within the veil, and fastens upon Christ, who ever lives in the presence of God to intercede for his troubled people. It will pierce through all difficulties, and as Hart says, "Stand every storm, and live at last". Only mind you follow the Savior's example: "Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered."
O how small all created things appear to me now! I am still only beginning to feel the heavenly importance of eternal things. O the depths of the riches of God's immeasurable mercy and grace! How sweetly was this brought into my heart only two days ago: "a sure feeling" (as one describes it) "of the dark valley of the shadow of death opening to eternal day, the moment the last breath is drawn." This counteracts all my fears.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 451
Sutton Coldfield, 2 July 1853.
Dear Mrs. H.,
Bonds and afflictions abide us in every place, and the Lord has pointed out a way by which they shall yield profit in the end. Die we must to all created prospects; and there can be no life worth having, only in the death of Christ. This is the only food that will nourish us unto eternal life. The sorrow of the world works spiritual death; but when we feel the Lord has given us some portion of spiritual life, and we perceive it is hid with Christ in God, then hope rises, and we are encouraged to say, He loved me, and gave himself for me. This is a crowning blessing; all short of this does not carry us comfortably through our troubles.
Poor dear M. had a look into eternity, as if the Lord should say to her, What think you of this? No doubt it was very appalling to the flesh. But did she not hear a still small voice, saying, "I have laid help upon one that is mighty"? Had she any objection to that? Was it not very encouraging? My dear young friend, do neither despise nor neglect such a kind offer; because the Lord is always a very present help in the time of trouble to all who can in their heart cry after him. Poring over affliction never mends it, but the Lord can mend it; and with great kindness he tells us that in all our affliction he is afflicted, and the Angel of his presence saves us. "If you knew the gift of God," and who it is that speaks to you, "you would have asked of him, and he would have given you living water." This would be the breathing of true spiritual life, and would presently show a divine and spiritual union with Christ, which would prove a ground of hope in the saddest hours.
I have had some sweet tokens of Christ's love to me this day. They have surprised me, and taught me to value them more than all that the world can offer. I can wish you no better than to be a partaker of these rich blessings; and I would not have Mrs. S. left out. How unwelcome are such blessings to the world! They interfere so much with what the world calls the pleasures of life, but what I call the play of children blowing bubbles, so quickly do they disappear.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 452
Sutton Coldfield, 6 July 1853.
Dear H. P.,
I wonder how you are. I am greatly troubled and cast down, because I cannot find, as I often have found, the face of the Lord Jesus Christ. My soul is most grievously borne down, and there seems no way out. It is now Wednesday, and in this condition I must appear. O that I could find the Lord! I know and hear what others say, but I am shut out. This produces much alarm at the brink of eternity. I see nothing but short-comings in all things, and I cannot at this time feel, "In the Lord have I righteousness and strength." These are gloomy days, and there are but very few to whom I can even hint at them. I grieve for those who can sit down short of clear work. What can they do when the trial comes on, which is to try every man's work? I call to mind many peculiar seasons of wonderful mercy, but I am made to know, "You hide your face, and I am troubled." My present circumstances open my eyes to the cases of many here, and I feel, in a measure, the meaning of the Savior's words, "The rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house, and it fell not, for it was founded upon a rock." I trust I am founded upon that Rock; but I am made to feel myself greatly ashamed in everything.
Your affectionate father, James Bourne
Letter 453
Sutton Coldfield, 13 July 1853.
Dear Mr. Yeomans,
It seems long since I heard from you, and my time is drawing very near, when I must leave all created things. I have been greatly cast down of late in many ways, but the Lord comes now and then, and makes all my crooked things straight. Sometimes I feel as if hope and all were gone, and am deeply afflicted with fears how it may be when I finish my course; but the Lord steps in at the worst, and told me even today that my labor in the Lord should not be in vain. I am often astonished to see the lightness of the profession of the day. If people saw and felt the holiness and majesty of God as I do, and the eternity that opens to my view, it would make them a little more serious respecting their title to that which they so confidently claim. The sin of my nature is no small mountain before me; and when the Lord my righteousness hides his face, my way becomes hid. I can call to mind some in my younger days who called all fear bondage, and used to tell me many things of their confidence; but when I witnessed their end, I found that the treasure of godly fear which the Lord had put into my heart greatly surpassed the vain confidence in which they stood high in the estimation of men.
I wish I could relieve myself from much of the casting down that I feel, yet I think it brings a sobriety in the ministry that is profitable to God's family, though not welcomed by the worldly minded. My text for tonight is, "I have surely seen the affliction of my people" (Exodus 3:7). It is a marvelous mercy to be numbered with the people of God, and the Lord's condescension is further displayed in his looking upon their affliction; it implies his care and compassion, and the Word everywhere promises help. Being his own people, he reveals to them what grieves him, and gives them a mourning spirit, and blesses them in it; this works great tenderness, and so endears him to them, that they cleave to him with full purpose of heart.
May the Lord comfort you and Mrs. Y. in your latter days; and when heart and flesh fail, may he be the strength of your heart, and your portion forever.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 454
(To Mr. H. Morgan) Sutton Coldfield, 14 July 1853.
Dear Mr. Morgan,
I sincerely hope it has pleased God by this time to provide for you all a faithful minister. It is always a painful dispensation when the Lord removes one who has long labored among a people. You, my dear friend, do well with much prayer to beg of God to guide you. I know of nothing more dangerous than to be tossed about for want of an abiding ministry.
It is no small thing to have clear evidences of our salvation, and never to rest until the title to the inheritance be signed and sealed by the Spirit. The claim of many will be disputed in the great day, who pass the time of their sojourning here without fear. My sincere desire is that you may have many tokens from the Lord of your adoption into his family. Men are too ready to rest upon I believe this, or I believe that, and I don't believe so and so. Such I have often found to be the utmost extent of all their religion; but nothing will stand except the work of the Spirit upon the heart, and the Word of God personally applied. These are what David found "sure mercies", and will stand when all that is short of them will fail.
It has pleased God to afflict your minister with but little hopes of a recovery, and I sincerely hope the Lord will be with him now in a very especial manner to help him through the dark valley. I seem to have entered it, and know not how soon my weakness may increase. I long for more and more of the Lord's presence, because I earnestly wish for light at eventide. I wish you would come again; how glad I should be!—glad to see you all.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 455
(To Mr. Thaine) Sutton Coldfield, 28 September 1853.
My dear Friend,
It seems long since I heard from you, but I hear of the increasing bodily infirmities of our mutual friend Mr. Burrell. What is worst is the prospect of much departing from the power of godliness among you, as in other places where the minister is removed.
I have been pondering what can be the cause of this much to be lamented evil, and I think it is pointed out in Colossians 2:Men attain to the outward knowledge of the Word, and are for awhile tolerably steady, but when the whole is to be brought to an open and public declaration, then we are surprised to see that they never came to "the full assurance of understanding, to the acknowledgment of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ; in whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." Such are not found out until a day of trial, like that of the breaking up of a church. Among a few that truly fear God there are others who seek to take the lead, and are not aware how far they miss the mark; but finding many like themselves who all their days have stopped short of the truth and have not gone through the gate, they are strengthened and encouraged to hold forth something which is not the promised rest. These turn a very jealous eye to the few simple followers of the Lamb; and cannot receive them for the truth's sake, because they declare that "strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, that leads unto life, and few there be that find it." It has been my mercy that the Lord has enabled me to bear testimony to the truths which I have been instructed in under your present minister. I have by the grace of God preached the same, and have found them sweetly effectual in the salvation of many, who have in their last moments acknowledged the power of them.
It is a dreadful thing to see, after a long hearing of the Word, that men should still only be children in understanding, or worse; misleading others, instead of instructing. I cannot tell you how in my extreme old age I fear this may be the case here. The Lord is indeed able to take care of his family, yet he is always warning us of those who have a sort of form of godliness, and deny the power. He says, "From such turn away." They are so odious to the Lord, that he closely warns us, "Take heed to yourselves, that your heart be not deceived, and you turn aside" (that is, to fables), "and serve other gods" (2 Timothy 4:4; Deuteronomy 11:16).
We are drawing fast into dangerous times, and we shall find that the fire will try every man's work, of what sort it is. It is dreadful to think that a fine woven or spun spider's web shall be burnt. The end must be so, for nothing will stand but gold. May the Lord deeply impress our minds with these sacred truths, in these latter days. I have many fears, and if it were not for the Lord appearing every now and then to assuage them, I should utterly sink; but I find his presence is salvation—not the word, but the hidden power applied by the Spirit to my troubled heart.
Yours sincerely in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 456
Sutton Coldfield, 1 October 1853.
My dear Friends at Pulverbach,
The season reminds me of my approaching end, especially when I consider the Lord is continually looking round to see what corn is fully ripe. Last year at this time dear Sukey was among you, but now she has no more to do with earthly things; yet we may say she still has a voice, and that voice shows us the prosperity there is to be found in following the Lord Jesus Christ by the Spirit. No other following will do. The day is coming which will show who goes through the gate, and who stops short. Many gather wild gourds, which bring nothing but death in the pot. Let me tell such to be cautious, for perhaps they will not find the prophet near at hand to heal them (2 Kings 4:38-41). Do not grow remiss in these days of approaching danger. Remember what the wise man says: "The hand of the diligent shall bear rule, but the slothful shall be under tribute." Call to mind the case of Samson, who incautiously laid himself on the lap of Delilah. When he awoke he thought all would be right as usual, and said, "I will go out as at other times before, and shake myself." But he found, to his confusion, that the Lord had departed from him; and the Philistines took him and put out his eyes. This is not merely a putting out of the literal eyes, but by sin the eyes of the understanding become darkened; and sometimes it is very long before the Savior comes our way to open them. He alone can open blind eyes; and he will make us feel what an evil and bitter thing it is to trifle with our spiritual eyesight.
I find the many infirmities of old age increase quickly upon me. I long to have more sunshine upon my evening path. I was sweetly refreshed the other day in reading the account of a dying friend who exclaimed in the sweetest hope, "Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your sting? O grave, where is your victory ? . . . Thanks be to God which gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." None know the sweetness of these words but those to whom they are personally spoken: "I will be your God." This will carry us safely through all difficulties, living and dying. When I can read my title clear I am satisfied; but when the Lord hides his face I am troubled. I have many things to contend with, and often wonder at the compassion of the Lord making a way for me where I could see none. It is this that encourages me to cast my care upon him who (I feel) cares for me.
It is a wonderful thing to behold that unity in the brethren which springs from the anointing which David speaks of (Psalm 133), a precious ointment upon Christ the Head, that runs down to the skirts of his garments. The poor woman who touched only the hem was made whole by that holy anointing. This is said to be like the dew of Hermon, refreshing to our souls and uniting. Where this union is wanting there will be a proof that we have lost sight of Christ the Head, and that we are too far from him even to touch the hem of his garment. It is sad to have the name of a Christian, and yet no access to Christ. It is a wonderful privilege to call God Father, and to say, My Father. All who enjoy it will hallow that endearing name; they will deeply grieve at everything that causes him to hide his face, and will "give him no rest" until he again makes them "a praise in the earth", knowing that anger rests only in the bosom of fools. (Ecclesiastes 7:9).
Many watch for the halting of God's people; and if they can divide, they know they can soon destroy. "A three-fold cord is not quickly broken." One wolf in a flock of sheep will make sad work. But let such be cautious how they touch the apple of God's eye. They may have an unfounded confidence; but Hart says,
"O beware of trust ill-grounded!
'Tis but imagined faith at most.
No big words of ready talkers,
No dry doctrine will suffice.
Broken hearts, and humble walkers,
These are dear in Jesus' eyes."May the Lord have mercy upon you, and heal all broken hearts, is the prayer of
Your loving friend in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 457
(To the Rev. Bernard Gilpin) Sutton Coldfield, 1 October 1853.
My dear Friend,
I am not either surprised or disheartened at your being so often cast down. It is so much my case that I sometimes fear none of God's family are tried with the fears and alarms which continually invade me. What surprises me most is the manner in which the Lord appears for me in the preaching, not only in giving me courage and liberty of speech, but in enabling me to go through the Sabbaths without fatigue, and I dare not say that the word is not profitable to many; but on other days I find what you complain of: "gates of brass and bars of iron". I am shut up, and see no way out. I ponder my case, and fear there must be something hidden which is the cause why the Lord does not draw near. Then I begin to call to mind the days which are past, when the candle of the Lord shone bright upon my head, and these words were blessed to me: "O Naphtali, satisfied with favor, and full with the blessing of the Lord!" I say, I ponder these things, and wonder how I have lost the sweetness of them, and it comes sometimes even now: "I will surely do you good," and "I will not leave you until I have done that which I have spoken to you of."
I cannot tell you how much I feel ashamed of myself, and often fear I am only a messenger that carries secret intelligence to the people, which I see is sweetly opened to them. I cry and pray, and neither can nor dare give in; sometimes the Lord suddenly surprises me with a heavenly smile, but the people in general are profited with the account of my set-fast places. What surprises me is to see the life that is communicated by my death (2 Corinthians 4:12). I sometimes think it is that I may have nothing to glory in; this, I am sure, is true.
I often look at that psalm which begins, "The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?" I think I can say, "One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple," to maintain access to his presence, so that in the time of trouble he may hide me "in the secret of his presence"; a secret place which the world knows nothing of, and I (to my shame), not half so much as is my privilege. I am greatly ashamed at this very point, that though placed in the forefront of the battle, I should be so ignorant of the use of arms. I am told to put on the whole armor of God, but, to my shame, secret prayer and watchfulness are too much slighted, though I dare neither preach nor provide for my preaching without prayer. I seem not to know what I should say next, if the Spirit did not help my infirmities.
My sincere desire is that the Lord will keep your soul alive and profitable to the people, and that you may have many increased testimonies of the truth and safety of the ministry which the Lord has given you at Hertford.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 458
(To S. M. B.) Sutton Coldfield, 12 October 1853.
Dear S.,
I hear on all hands of the near approach of Mr. Burrell's death. This will be a trial to you and many more. May the Lord make you firm to hold fast the truth! I fear some among you may look more for talent than the hidden power. Nothing is more deceitful, and nothing more easy to be betrayed into. Be earnest in prayer, and do not make light of the change. Therefore pray, "Be you my strong rock, for an house of defense to save me;" pull me out of every net which may be privily set for me. See if you can join with David, "Into your hands I commit my spirit; you have redeemed me, O Lord God of truth." If you can take this course, then I will add for you, "Be of good courage and he shall strengthen your heart, all you that hope in the Lord" (Psalm 31:2, 5, 24).
Tell P. to be much in earnest, and very sober-minded in the change that is about to take place. I exceedingly fear for you all, and would hope and sincerely pray that the flatterer may not be sent among you. If the change is at all made light of, that will be a certain sign that Satan stands at the right hand; but my prayer is that the Lord may say, "The Lord rebuke you, O Satan; even the Lord that has chosen Jerusalem, rebuke you." Is not this a little company "plucked out of the fire"? They are mine (Zechariah 3:2; Isaiah 43:1). Remember, "the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry."
These are very strange words of the apostle: "Where is the wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the disputer of this world? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?" Do not be flattered into something that has a fine show, and which seems to move itself aright in your glass. I pray that all yours and mine may unite in heart with that which is right; for much of your future prosperity will depend upon that.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 459
(To C. B.) Sutton Coldfield, November 1853.
My dear Friend,
I am sincerely glad you have made the Lord your refuge in your present engagement; let matters turn as they may, he is always a Friend to them that trust in him.
The death of Mr. Burrell has filled me with fear; my old age tells me how soon I must follow. Dying is very serious work; there is generally much weakness attending it, and very few know what it is to be "strong in the Lord". It is a grief to hear that there is division in his congregation. When any present themselves to a church that knows the Lord, they should first show their convictions and deliverance, and then add the manner in which the Lord called them to the ministry, and to that especial church. All these the Lord enabled me clearly to state, and I must add he has owned and honored the work of his own hands. There seems a universal and singular division at this time, wherever we hear of the death of a faithful minister; and, I fear, not a sufficient value for the Word where it is faithfully preached. The light of life seems greatly withdrawing from this nation; and woe unto us when that is withdrawn! I hope all you that are young will not get into a backsliding state; it will be sad work for you in a dying hour. The world has a great hold, and Satan has great power; and if we for a moment look off from the almighty power of God, we shall soon find that our strength and wisdom is perfect weakness.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 460
(To the Rev. W. Maddy, for the late Mr. Burrell's church)
Sutton Coldfield, 2 November 1853.
My dear Friend,
If any wish to direct the whole body, let us inquire what they themselves know of Christ; for we are told that "the natural man receives not the things of the Spirit of God." Let them show how the law entered with all its curses, and left them under the sentence of death. Let them show how the Spirit led them to Christ, the Resurrection and the Life, and taught them that his precious blood alone cleanses from all sin. He is the only Light of life; in his light we have light; all other light is vain. Whom the Son makes free shall be free indeed. If we know not these things experimentally, how can we point out the right way to others? When the Spirit of truth enters (not before), he will guide us into all truth. God is said to reveal these things unto us by his Spirit, which shows that we must be partakers of the Spirit before we can rightly understand the truth that is in Jesus. "The entrance of your words gives light." The apostle says, "We have the mind of Christ." If we are partakers of that blessed liberty which is in Christ Jesus, it always brings light along with it; and this is called the true light in distinction from that light which springs from human wisdom. I sincerely hope that such as speak will first look to have their title clear to the heavenly mansions; and then, and not until then, can they clearly show to God's family the way they are to go.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 461
(To the same) Sutton Coldfield, 4 November 1853.
My dear Friend,
I must, by the help of God, write again what I have written before. How can any man point out the way to the bleeding wounds of a dying Savior, who never felt the sweet effects of his precious blood upon his own heart? Neither will any effectually seek to obtain that heavenly liberty which is in Christ, but those who have been bound under the heavy curse of the holy, broken law of God. It is an inconceivably sweet and humbling liberty which that prisoner feels: "No more a servant, but a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ." If those who speak have been made partakers of these things by the Spirit, they will do well to show clearly to the people their own titles, and the nature of that liberty which is to be found in Christ Jesus. This is the true light; Jesus said, "I am the light of the world; he who follows me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life." If they walk in this daylight they will neither stumble themselves nor cause others to stumble. If they walk without it they will surely fall. Such as receive this liberty from Christ will be able and willing to declare it; and I am sure the Lord will honor his own work.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 462
(To his Daughter P.) Sutton Coldfield, 16 November 1853.
My dear Child,
"How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that brings good tidings!" Throughout the whole Word of God, each individual whom God sends declares to the people who sent him. It was the Lord who said to David, "You shall feed my people Israel;" and we find the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon and said, "The Lord is with you, you mighty man of valor;" and when Gideon declared his weakness, his ignorance, his nothingness, then "the Lord looked upon him and said, Go in this your might, and you shall save Israel; . . . have not I sent you?" Surely he could describe that look, for the encouragement of those whom he had to command.
The poor of God's flock, in waiting upon the Lord, will know the mind and will of the Lord, and will find out the Word of the Lord. I never understood that men in bondage are the sort to proclaim liberty, or that men's ways to be mended before they can hope for the blood of sprinkling. I have always found that the blood of sprinkling cleanses all my foul ways, and makes me in sweet peace with God, and always brings everything to the light. "This is the way, walk you in it." Communion with the Lord always gives light, and great tenderness, and especially a dread of receiving what is not clearly set forth in the Word. Love is a powerful constraining fruit of the Spirit, which is never found, but in the sweet enjoyment of the atonement. There is no darkness in love. When Isaiah had a sight of God's holiness and majesty, he cried out, "Woe is me, for I am undone, because I am a man of unclean lips!" But when the live coal touched his lips, he openly declared his readiness to teach in the name of the Lord.
Whoever the Lord sends, he bids them tell the manner of his errand, and how they received it. God said to Paul (Acts 9), "Arise, and go into the city, and it shall be told you what you must do;" and he preached Christ in the synagogues. Afterwards we read again, that he and Barnabas were "sent forth by the Holy Spirit". How often Paul refers to this point, and shows in all tenderness how he received mercy, and for that cause preached mercy to the troubled; always declaring that he himself was the chief of sinners, but had found grace, mercy, and liberty in Christ Jesus.
Your affectionate father, James Bourne
P.S. Never separate these two, which God has joined together, "Let the high praises of God be in their mouth, and a two-edged sword in their hand" (Psalm 149:6).
Letter 463
(To the Rev. W. Maddy) Sutton Coldfield, 29 November 1853.
My dear Friend,
I feel myself pressed into a place whence there is no coming out but by showing how I came in. Surely the Lord said to me, Arise, I will be with you; and I have been greatly comforted and encouraged by many glorious dying testimonies to the truths the Lord has enabled me to set forth. The first token I found was, He loved me and gave himself for me. I was in all but despair, sinking fast; I felt all things and persons were against me; I was left alone; but in the bitterness of my soul I cried unto the Lord, and seven times did he declare with a heavenly power, You shall return in the power of the Spirit. I can never set forth the nature of this returning power. It was from Hell to Heaven. And afterwards these words, when the power of the former was a little abated, "Bless, Lord, his substance;" and, "Let not his men be few." Both these the Lord has in a measure fulfilled.
Also when, in a subsequent trouble, I was hard pressed by the people of God, the Lord was pleased to speak these words upon my heart, "You, which have showed me great and sore troubles, shall quicken me again, and bring me up again from the depths of the earth; you shall increase my greatness, and comfort me on every side." This also has been in a great measure fulfilled, and there yet remains something further to hope upon.
God sent his Son into the world to set before sinners the way of mercy; and the Savior says, "As my Father has sent me, even so send I you." How? In love to declare that whoever believes in Christ shall have eternal life. Again Christ says, "Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world." What is it that gives authority to his ambassadors? Sensible union with him, enabling each of them to declare, As Christ has loved me, so am I sure that he will bestow that same love upon troubled sinners. This I have been taught these forty years under our late ministry and if the same continues to be taught, there can be no objection found in the heart of God's children.
As to all that I have written, I believe the Lord will bear witness to the truth of it. None can say either that it was written in a bad spirit, or that it is in anything contrary to the Word of God. My sincere prayer for you all, as a people, and for myself, is that we may not forget the things in which we have been instructed, and take up with something that is short of that liberty which is to be found in Christ Jesus. Pray let this letter be seen by the friends.
Yours in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 464
(To his Daughter H. P.) Sutton Coldfield, 2 December 1853.
Dear P.,
I have been heavily laden with many things, but the Lord has been pleased to be my Friend. I have sought him with all my heart, and feared I should never find. But these sweet words came, and were quite sufficient, for the Angel of the Lord descended and rolled back the stone from the door of my heart, and said, "Fear not, for I know that you seek Jesus, which was crucified." He is not a dead Savior, but a living one; come and see the place where your sin laid him; and especially lay to heart that he will go before you into all places where you may be brought. O how sweetly this also came to me: "Jesus met them, saying, All hail!" How can I express the Heaven upon earth this brought in! I could indeed then worship him in spirit and in truth; and I felt a sweet approbation of my writings and communications with our friends in London. I feel as if I had said all that I had to say upon the chapel affairs, and if any want to know more they may transcribe what I have already written. Where there is the fear of God, there is nothing else to fear: all will come right.
Your affectionate father, James Bourne
Letter 465
(To W. B.) Sutton Coldfield, 9 December 1853.
Dear W.,
I was quite overcome with the intelligence of your letter, after a sweet account from Mr. Gilpin of his leadings in the present state in Titchfield Street. I have no doubt that all you have felt of the Lord's goodness and mercy, first, to yourself, and then in making you his servant and a servant of his people for his sake, will be disputed many times before you appear in public; and for this purpose that you may have further and clearer testimonies of its truth. A post that is to be firm must be well rammed down. I found it so; but every new confirmation was stronger than the old. It is all to show us where our strength lies, and that our own is hunger-bitten. Therefore the Lord reminds us of what we are without him, saying, "Fear not, you worm;" you are liable to be trodden upon by every foot, but "I will uphold you." I am almost laid aside with the variety of circumstances about me, but I hope the Lord will help me through, to say, Comfort on every side. I greatly rejoice that the Lord has given you that sweet liberty which is to be found only in Christ Jesus. Consider my text for London next week (2 Timothy 3:14), and especially attend to the pronoun: "But continue you in the things which you have learned, and have been assured of," and keep calling to mind of whom you have received and learned that heavenly liberty. The Lord be with you.
James Bourne
Letter 466
(To W. B.) Sutton Coldfield, 21 December 1853.
My dear Friend,
To give a fair testimony from the Lord is to declare how the Lord first convicted us of sin, and then made manifest the love which Christ shed abroad in our hearts, leading us out of the abundance of that love to set forth the sweet mercy and liberty which is to be found in Christ; we know it because we have found it to be so, and can but earnestly desire that all may find the same; and all who have found the same will say, "Come, eat of my bread, and drink of the wine that I have mingled." Such as are not walking in the liberty of the gospel can never show to the people the love of Christ to sinners. It is written, "I believed, therefore have I spoken," and Paul adds, "We also believe, and therefore speak". What we have seen, and heard, and felt, declare we unto you. It is God himself who makes able ministers of the New Testament, not of the letter, but of the Spirit. The letter without the Spirit communicates death.
Christ is said to "feed his flock like a shepherd"; to be "a light to lighten the Gentiles"; to bring forth blind people: not to blind them, nor to drive them back again to Mount Sinai. By the preaching of the truth the heart is drawn to Christ, not by a legal, but by a spiritual compulsion. What compels us to come in at Christ's call? One says, and says truly, "'Twas love that forced me in." Woe to those who shut that door which God himself has opened, and set up their power and authority against God! It is written, "He who despises you, despises me." Woe to that community that is left of faithful ministers, and empty of sound professors; too proud to be taught, but loving and seeking the pre-eminence! This is sure to follow: "Your house is left unto you desolate." It is sad to think that those who helped to build the ark should at last be drowned. Let us pray that the hearts of those who hear may be able to receive God's testimony.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 467
(To W. B.) Sutton Coldfield, 13 January 1854.
Dear W.,
I hope the Lord will enable you to gird up your loins like a man, and never forget those words, "I AM has sent me" (Exodus 3). God says, "Them that honor me, I will honor." So I have always found; and can truly say there has not failed one word of all his good promises. I have often been ready to fear that all was a deluded imagination; but the Lord continually renewed his tokens, even in the midst of all apparent opposition, as if I had now come to utter impossibilities; and I found that he would work, and none could let (Isaiah 43:13).
How good it is to take the lowest place, and then to hold fast what God has wrought, that no man take our crown! Consider, God himself has crowned you with loving-kindness and tender mercies. Let no man rob you of that. What God does, he does for ever, that men may fear before him. May God give you holy boldness in this day of trial. "Trust in him at all times," even in times of desertion; and remember, "Then shall your light rise in obscurity, and your darkness be as the noon day." Truly he is a God that hides himself; yet is he still a Savior; and all they who are makers of idols shall be put to confusion.
However tried you may be in spirit with many changes, let the public know only that the Lord has most assuredly called you. He knows best how to clear your way, which you believe he will do in his due time. Watch the hand of the Lord, more than the movements of men. I, when younger, was often brought to the very brink of threatened destruction, and found it the way in which the Lord chose to exalt me; first deep humiliation, then honor. May the Lord give you a steady quietness, and keep your heart stayed on him, and all will be right.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 468
(To W. B.) Sutton Coldfield, 20 January 1854.
Dear W.,
I am truly glad to hear your proceedings; I felt the sweet power of the Word enter my heart, but many who have been accustomed to hear the truth will now lean to their own understanding. The Lord's eye is upon you all. He will fulfill his purpose. Few know the difference between the chaff and the wheat until the fan comes; then the chaff is blown away, to the surprise of many. May the Lord keep you steadfast. He will surely defend his own, and hold them up, to the confusion of all their enemies. The battle is not yours, but his; and so it will be seen. O how little was I made to be, very contrary to my nature! but I found the word of the Lord true: "My grace is sufficient." The Lord did not spare for my crying, and I found at last, "Whom the Lord loves he chastens." He did not give me over unto eternal death.
Take you care to pray that the fear of man may not blunt the edge of your message from the Lord. There will be seducers, creeping into houses, and into hearts, leading captive such as are before appointed thereunto. Watch. It was not until the fourth watch of the night that Jesus came; but when he came, immediately he spoke to his disciples, saying, "Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid." He comes to make a division; but he will show his power in helping his weak servants through the storm. "Watch you; stand fast in the faith; quit you like men; be strong," strong in the grace of God. Paul marveled that some were so soon removed from Christ to another gospel, "which" (he says) "is not another; but there be some that trouble you, and would pervert the gospel of Christ." But mind that you keep close to the Lord, and see if he will not be better to you than all your fears. I can by the grace of God with all my heart pray that you may abide in the things which the Lord has enabled you to speak.
You are now brought nearly to this point: "In your patience possess you your souls." Keep in mind the first teaching; and remember Jacob was twenty years before the accomplishment of the promises, and at times seemed sure of coming to nothing, Esau before and Laban behind. What could he expect? Yet how earnestly he pleaded, "You said, I will surely do you good." Keep at this; and he who rides upon the storm will show his almighty power.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 469
Sutton Coldfield, 1 February 1854.
Dear Friends in the Lord at Pulverbach,
I little thought of being spared so long to hear of your welfare, and to testify of the Lord's goodness to me in my latter days, to encourage those among you who are hastening after me.
My subject last night was, "Turn you to the stronghold, you prisoners of hope" (Zechariah 9:12). Nothing less than that will do. We find, to our sorrow, men turn every way but the right way; but we who have tried that Stronghold can declare, "The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and he knows them that trust in him" (Nah. 1:7). Christ is the sinner's only hiding-place; but in how many ways men seek to shelter under a false covert, and to build upon a foundation that gives way in the hour of death, not minutely inquired into until the rains descend, and the winds blow, and beat upon our frail tabernacle; and then how sad to find our hope and the foundation of it give way! It has lately become tenfold more important to me to know that I shall not be ashamed of my hope, and clearly to perceive by the Spirit's testimony that my hope is in the Lord.
Some of you have now been a long time in the way; to such I would show the word of the Lord: "This people have I formed for myself; they shall show forth my praise" (Isaiah 43:21). This will be in a life of communion and fellowship with the Lord Jesus Christ. The world within us, and all our worldly concerns, have a tendency to dull the spirit; but our mercy is to be watchful, and when we have a taste of the wine of the kingdom, then not to forget the sweetness of it, nor to lose the spiritual appetite for, and the right relishing of, such heavenly food. Nothing will keep us from coldness and fainting by the way like girding on the robe of Christ's righteousness, which never dims nor wears out. Above all things, take heed of distance from Christ. How sweetly the Spirit whispers to the backsliding soul, "Go and wash in Jordan seven times, and your flesh shall come again to you, and you shall be clean." (2 Kings 5:10). Never turn that which is lame out of the way, but let it rather be healed (Hebrews 12:13); then shall you know what it is to walk with God in peace and equity. Paul most boldly asserts that he is persuaded "that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come", (however terrible they may appear), "nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Then, my dear friends, how important it is to have clear work! What our hymn says is certainly true:
"Whom once he loves, he never leaves,
But loves them to the end."May the Lord be with you all, and enable you so to cleave close to him as Elisha cleaved to Elijah, by which he gained a double portion of his spirit. Remember me.
Most sincerely yours in the Lord, James Bourne
Letter 470
(To the Rev. B. Gilpin) Sutton Coldfield, 1 February 1854.
My dear Friend,
I took it very kind of you to send me the sermon. There is great power and authority couched under the first words of your text, "Go and proclaim" (Jeremiah 3:12-15). It struck me that what you proclaimed was the Word of the Lord, and whoever made light of it would sooner or later find the weight of their opposition. I am most exceedingly happy to hear that the Lord has kept you faithful, and that W. also is kept in a very low place. I never throve so well as when all men were against me. It may be long before the Lord lifts up his hand to show whom he has chosen, but the time will come; and then woe to them that oppose the Word of the Lord. David's was a short prayer, in the conspiracy of Ahithophel, but very effectual. Hezekiah also prayed, "I am oppressed; undertake for me." The sweet answer shows that the Lord's eye is upon his people all the year round: "I have heard your prayer, I have seen your tears." I know that this is sufficient. Nahum says, "The Lord has his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet." When the storm is at its height, he is not far off from helping his cast-down people, for the next words are, "He rebukes the sea;" and the prophet adds, "Who can stand before his indignation?" I would not be a false leader for ten thousand worlds. I am often clearing this point; and I find nothing will clear it but the sweet testimony of the Spirit bearing witness to my adoption, and the same Spirit bidding me to bear witness of the same to the people; and, blessed be God, there are a few among us who speak of that same liberty which is to be found in Christ alone.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 471
(To the Rev. B. Gilpin) Sutton Coldfield, 13 February 1854.
My dear Friend,
I must write a few words to say how I have been comforted with several letters received today concerning your Sundays' discourses. I believe the Lord will purge his floor, and many a fair outside will be proved to be dross. Self and conceit may rule for a time, but "the Lord is a man of war", and will show in the end what his sword of the Spirit will do. More will be slain than we could at first have thought; for he is determined to distinguish chaff from wheat. I saw the same after the death of Mr. Huntington; but he had a dream which seemed to show him that all was not gold that glittered. In his dream he was surrounded by his closest friends at a table where all were sociable and friendly; but stooping to pick up something which fell, to his surprise he saw the feet of his friends, under the table, were all cloven. Ever after this he was cautious, but kept it very secret. So now, you may depend upon it that the hasty departing from the simplicity of the truth in which the people have been so many years instructed will prove that the root of the matter has been wanting. We are ready to hope, and to suppose that some will return; but in the above case we found but one who came to the truth. We saw the end of many, who were fair outside, but in their end had no hope.
May the Lord keep you faithful, and give you strength and courage to continue among the poor afflicted.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 472
(To H. E. G.) Sutton Coldfield, 21 February 1854.
Dear A.,
I have long wished to write to you, but my strength fails me, with the variety of occurrences round about. I feel it a heavenly privilege to have the sweet sense of the Lord's presence; nor do I always feel disposed to speak of it at the time, because it is a time when he himself has many things to say to me, and my happiness is to take heed. He not only at such times tells me of his love, and that he will never forsake me, but also of many trials that await me, and wherein I shall be very ready to forget his love. He bids me mind that caution, and take care that I do not incautiously shut the door against him when he is knocking.
I have heard of your engagement with C. I believe the Lord has made his heart sincerely tender, and I can honestly pray for a blessing upon you both; but neither of you must forget my Sunday's text, "We must through much tribulation enter the kingdom." There are no doubts mentioned in this text; the words appear absolute—must enter. Enter you shall, let the tribulation be what it may. Whether your lives be long or short, you will be subject to many changes; but if the root of the matter is found in you, that will stand the trial. It is for want of this root that there is so much confusion when a faithful minister is removed. I remember long ago, when I spoke of any sweet token of the Lord's love to me, I could perceive the hidden power was wanting in some, and that they did not know the secret of the Lord. So I fear it will be found with such as say that Mr. Burrell in his latter years made the way narrower than it really is.
I sincerely hope you and your sister will be always looking at the certificate of your union with Christ. Prove that, and you will be a crown of glory in the hand of the Lord, and shall no more be termed desolate, for the Lord will delight in you. Love, love, love.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 473
Sutton Coldfield, 1 March 1854.
My dear Friends in the Lord at Pulverbach,
I now seriously begin to feel myself much broken in my bodily strength, and that the time is drawing very near when I must resign all my worldly concerns. My anxiety becomes very great respecting my evidences for eternity, and I am often looking at the sealing of the Spirit that I may be more than sure it is a true earnest.
Our church affairs give a painful aspect, and no doubt will bring about a fiery trial, and will show what is hay or stubble, and what is gold or silver. The Lord calls his people sheep to express their feebleness. Christ himself is said to be brought as a lamb, dumb before his shearers; but in his trouble he said, "Yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me." So in every storm which it pleases God to bring us into, there is this to encourage us: "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." Only mind, my dear friends, that the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace be closely attended to; and look well to your way, for we have perceived many who appeared to be everything that could be wished for in the estimation of man; but when the King has come in to see the guests, he has said, "How came you in hither, not having a wedding garment?" Not all who appear to have everything have Christ really formed in their hearts "the hope of glory". Nothing but the fiery trial will bring this point to light. When Isaiah was brought to this he cried, "Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips;" but when the live coal from off the altar touched his lips, it was said, "Your iniquity is taken away, and your sin purged." This is the point we must all be brought to, if we look for what the Scripture calls "an expected end". Do not be deceived, if any tell you of anything that stops short of this. Seek for the full assurance of understanding. Many buoy themselves up with false hopes, which things the apostle says have indeed a show of wisdom, but not the wisdom of God. "If you then be risen with Christ, seek those things that are above;" and if you really possess spiritual life, remember that it is "hid with Christ in God", where neither the world nor the devil can touch it; but it shall grow into eternal life.
May the Lord abundantly bless you all.
Yours etc. James Bourne
Letter 474
(To W. B.) Sutton Coldfield, 4 April 1854.
Dear W.,
My cold leaves me very weak and makes me feel that my end is fast approaching. Last night I was down very low, and could not find the Lord. I thought I was given up as one too bad to be saved. I could not pray with any feeling, and could not call it praying at all. I could justify God; I knew he was righteous in his dispensations to me; but I was a grievous sinner. I acknowledged and confessed, but all was nothing, hardness, darkness. I greatly lamented secretly that my religion in my old age was come to this; but I felt I had no power to alter it. I feared I was walking in something which would prove that the root of the matter was wanting. I was ashamed to own this. I could not lie down in my bed; I had no rest. I dressed in the morning, but seemed very poorly in body and worse in soul; but being Tuesday, it is the day appointed to prepare for Wednesday evening, and while I was looking for something for the people, these words were put before me: "Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love." Here I found relief. His love I felt was all I wanted; and when I read your notes, what you write in one part sweetly confirmed me in my feeling of Christ's love. You say, "Edom, and Moab, and Ammon had no such hope; why should Israel hope? Christ was there" (where Christ is there must be a good hope), "and in him they had a secret principle of life which could never fail." These two words made me again to believe the Lord's love was everlasting, like the tree whose substance is in it when it casts its leaves, or is cut down (Isaiah 6:13; Job 14:7). So I found it; the returning mercy of the Lord is a substance when all outward things fail. I can add no more at present, I am still but poorly.
Yours affectionately, James Bourne
Letter 475
Sutton Coldfield, 1 May 1854.
My dear Friends in the Lord at Pulverbach,
It has pleased God to lay his afflicting hand upon me, and I have been disabled ever since Mrs. H. was visiting among you. Oh how I have felt in this affliction the necessity of being rooted and grounded in the love of God! I have felt the great bitterness of desertion, and have thought that the Lord's mercies were "clean gone forever"; but somehow I also felt, "This is my infirmity," and that it was not so with the Lord; for he came and gave me now and then some sweet assurances that he was not very far off; and "he is not far from every one of us," if haply we might feel after him and find him (Acts 17:27). So I found it.
When we are brought to see the boundless ocean of eternity open immediately before us, it makes us stand in awe and examine well what our evidences are, whether our title deeds are really signed and sealed by the Spirit with the blood and righteousness of Christ. Nothing short of this will stand the trying hour.
Now my desire and prayer is that none of you may stop short, and that Satan may not beguile you into this dangerous place; and remember, if the Lord has made you honest, that you pay due attention to his word: "He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says unto the churches; To him that overcomes will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and on the stone a new name written, which no man knows, saving he who receives it" (Rev. 2:17). This is "the secret of the Lord", which none know but they who fear the Lord. This is Christ the true bread; and there is no eternal life without him. "He who eats this Bread shall never die." "O taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man that trusts in him."
David found many that said, "Who will show us any good?" but he replies with what I recommend to you all, "Lord, lift you up the light of your countenance upon us;" for it is this which puts gladness in our hearts, more than all the outward prosperity of the world; and with this we can lie down and sleep in peace (Psalm 4:6-8).
Yours in the Lord with great love, James Bourne