Christian Love,
or the Influence of Religion upon Temper
By John Angell James, 1828
THE UNSELFISHNESS OF LOVE
"Love seeks not her own."
"Love is not self-seeking."
If it were required to give a brief and summary
description of man's original apostasy, we might say that it was his
departure from God, the fountain of his happiness and the end of his
existence, and retiring into himself, as the ultimate end of all his
actions. And if it were also asked what is the essence of his sin, the sum
of his moral depravity, we might say, to love himself supremely, to seek
himself finally and exclusively, to make self, in one shape or another, the
center to which all his busy thoughts, anxious cares and diligent pursuits,
constantly tend. Self-love is the most active and reigning principle in
fallen nature; self is the great idol which mankind are naturally disposed
to worship; and selfishness the grand interest to which they are devotedly
attached. But the grace of God, when it renews the heart, so corrects and
subdues this disposition, that it is no longer the tyrant of the mind. The
grace of God plants in the human bosom, the principle of benevolence—a
principle which as it leads us to love God supremely, and our neighbor as
ourselves—and is the direct opposite of selfishness.
Believing that the perfection of all virtue lies in
unselfish love, it follows, that the nearer we approach to this state of
mind, the nearer we come to sinless moral excellence. This is the temper of
the innumerable company of angels, and of the spirits of just men made
perfect. It has been argued that we take delight in the happiness of others,
because their happiness increases our own—but the circumstance of our
happiness being increased by promoting theirs, is itself a convincing proof
of the existence and exercise of an antecedent good-will towards them. Our
felicity is raised by theirs. Why?—because we love them. Why am I made
unhappy by the sight of another's woe?—because I have good-will to the
subject of distress. It is true I am gratified by relieving him, and my
comfort would be disturbed if I did not—but what is the origin of these
feelings?—certainly a previous good-will towards them. It is not affirmed
that all pity proceeds from holy love—but that where love does exist, and in
the proportion in which it exists, it is unselfish, and is distinguished
from selfishness.
It may be proper here to distinguish between self-love
and selfishness; not that they are etymologically different—but only in
the use of the terms as they are employed in common discourse. By
SELFISHNESS, we mean such a regard to our own things, as is inconsistent
with, and destructive of—a right regard to the things of others. Whereas by
SELF-LOVE we mean nothing more than that attention to our own affairs which
we owe to ourselves as part of universal being. Selfishness means the
neglect or injury of others, in order to concentrate our views, and desires,
and pursuits in ourselves. While self-love means only that proper and due
regard to our own interests which we may pay, without the neglect or injury
of our neighbor. Self-love, when exercised in connection with, and
subordinate to, good-will to mankind—is not only consistent with virtue—but
is a part of it; but when not thus connected, it degenerates into
selfishness.
Selfishness leads men to seek their own interests—in
opposition to the interest of others. Multitudes care not whom
they oppress, so as they can establish their own power; whom they vilify and
degrade, so as they can increase their own fame; whom they impoverish, so as
they can accumulate their own wealth; whom they distress, so as they can
augment their own comforts. This is the worst and most cruel operation of
selfishness. It is the same propensity, only sharpened, and guided, and
rendered the more mischievous by the aid of reason—as that which exists in
the vulture and the tiger, and which gorges itself to excess—deaf to the
piercing cries of the hapless victim which struggles in its talons! Intent
only on gratification, it riots amid misery, if by this means it can
aggrandize itself. Looking on the possessions of those around only with an
envious eye, it is solicitous that they may be appropriated in some way, to
itself. This is a horrible and truly infernal disposition; for it would
reign with a kind of universal despotism, would subdue all into vassalage,
and allow nothing to exist—but what was tributary to its own comfort.
Selfishness sometimes leads its subjects only to
neglect the things of others. They do not oppress, or injure, or
steal; they are neither robbers nor calumniators; but they are so engrossed
by self-interest, and so absorbed in self-gratification, as to be utterly
regardless of the miseries of the world around them. They have no
sympathies, no benevolent sensibilities—they have cut themselves off from
their race, and care nothing for the happiness of any of their neighbors.
Their highest boast and attainment in virtue is "to wrong no one." Their
idea of excellence is purely of a negative kind. To dispel sorrow, to
relieve poverty, to diffuse gladness—especially to make sacrifices to do
this—is an effort which they have never tried, and which they have no
inclination to try. The world might perish—so long as the desolation did not
reach themselves! Miserable and guilty creatures, they forget that they will
be punished for not doing good—as well as for doing evil. The
unprofitable servant was condemned, and the wicked are represented, at
the last day, as doomed to hell—not for inflicting sorrow—but for not
relieving it.
A man is guilty of selfishness, if he seeks his own
things out of all proportion to the regard he pays to the things of
others. From a regard to our reputation, we may not live in the total
neglect of those around us; and in deference either to public opinion, or to
the remonstrances of our consciences, we may be compelled to yield something
to the claims of the public. Yet, at the same time, our concessions may be
so measured in quantity, and made with such reluctance and ill-will—that our
predominant selfishness may be as clearly manifested by what we give—as by
what we withhold. That which we call our liberality, manifests, in this
case, our avarice; that which we denominate generosity, demonstrates our
sinful self-love.
Selfishness sometimes seeks its own under the pretense
and profession of promoting the happiness of others. Where the ruling
passion of the heart is the love of applause—large sacrifices of wealth, and
time, and ease, and feeling, will be readily made for fame! And where men
have objects to gain, which require kindness, conciliation, and
attention—nothing in this way is too much to be done to accomplish their
purpose. This is a disgusting operation of this very disgusting temper, when
all its seeming good-will is but an efflux of kindness—which is to flow back
again in full tide into the receptacle of self! Many are the detestable
traders, whose generosity is only a barter for something in return. How much
of the seeming goodness of human nature, of the sympathy with human woe, of
the pity for poverty, of the concern for the comfort of wretchedness—which
passes current for virtue among mankind—is nothing better than a counterfeit
imitation of benevolence—is known only to that God whose omniscient eye
traces the secret workings of our depravity through all the labyrinths of a
deceitful heart!
But notice now
the SUBJECTS in reference to
which selfishness is indulged.
Property
is the first. It shows itself in an concern to obtain
wealth, and an unwillingness to part with it—a disposition as greedy as the
sea, and as barren as the shore. You will see some men so excessively eager
to get profit, that they are ever watching to take undue advantage; and so
keen-eyed in looking after their own, that they need be closely inspected,
to prevent them from taking more than their own—for a man who is
prevailingly selfish can hardly be honest. And what they gain, they
keep—neither the cause of humanity, nor of true religion, can extort a
farthing from them—except now and then, to get rid of an importunate suitor,
or to prevent their reputation from being utterly ruined.
Selfishness is sometimes exercised in reference to
opinion.
Some will not bear contradiction; they must be listened to as sages; to
question what they say, is to insult them—and is sure to bring down on the
'presumptuous skeptic' their contempt or their frown. They will scarcely
allow any one to speak but themselves; they must be the oracle of every
company, and the director of every affair—or they retire in disgust, and
refuse to act at all. In the concerns of our churches this is often seen and
felt. What is it but pure selfishness that leads any one to wish that he
should dictate to the rest; that his opinion should be law; and
his wishes be consulted and obeyed? This is not love—no! love does
not seek her own, where conscience does not interfere to forbid it—but
meekly and quietly resigns its wishes to increase peace and promote harmony.
Love's object is the public good, and its law is the best means of promoting
the general welfare.
If in the communion of life, or the affairs of a church,
every individual determined to consult only his own views and wishes,
society would be dissolved, and its separate parts embroiled in a state of
mutual conflict. In the various discussions which come before a public body,
Selfishness says, "I am sure my opinion is correct; and I will if possible
have my way!" But the language of LOVE is, "I have stated my opinion and my
wishes; if this does not carry conviction, I by no means wish my opinion to
be adopted, nor my desires to be gratified—I am anxious for the comfort of
my brethren, and I yield my wishes to theirs."
Some people have acquired selfish habits in their
general conduct, which are exceedingly annoying to others! They have
areas of personal gratification, peculiarities of humour, in which it is
impossible to indulge without greatly incommoding those around them; but so
detestably selfish is their disposition, at least with regard to these
practices, that let others be disturbed, offended, or put to serious
inconvenience—they themselves will not forego in the least degree their
accustomed indulgence. When the unfortunate sufferers were expiring in the
Black Hole at Calcutta, and entreated the sentinels to represent their
agonizing and fatal condition to the tyrant who had imprisoned them, the
guards answered, "No; he is enjoying his repose, and it will be certain
death to us if we disturb him, even for your relief." And what better in
principle, though certainly a less degree of its operation, is that regard
to their appetite, ease, or humour—which many indulge to the annoyance of
their neighbors, and which they indulge against the remonstrances of those
who suffer? In short, that regard to our comfort, which leads us to neglect
or sacrifice the felicity of another—is the selfishness which kindness
opposes and destroys.
This hateful disposition has contrived to conceal itself
under many false names and DISGUISES, and thus to find protection
from much of the ridicule which it deserves, and which would otherwise be
more unsparingly heaped upon it.
The plea of frugality—or a just regard to
the claims of a family—has often been urged as an excuse for the selfishness
of avarice. A man certainly must take care of his own—but not to the injury,
or even to the neglect of all besides. "I have no more," it is often said,
"than I need for my style of living; and that style I think necessary for my
rank in life. I spend all I get upon my family, and hoard nothing—how, then,
can I be selfish?" Mistaken mortal! do you forget that a man's family is
himself multiplied—himself reflected? Selfish! yes, you are detestably so—if
you spend all upon yourself and family—however lavish and unsparing you may
be to them.
No expression, no sentiment, has ever been more abused
than that of the apostle—"Do all to the glory of God." It has been
employed to disguise the most improper motives, and never more frequently,
nor more profanely employed, than when it has been used to give a character
of religious zeal to actions—which every other eye could discern, originated
in unmixed selfishness. It is to be feared that when the secrets of all
hearts shall be disclosed, it will be found that while much has been
professedly done for the glory of God in the affairs of true
religion—pure zeal for God's glory is a very rare thing. Certain it is, that
much of what has been carried on under the authority of this truly sublime
phrase, has emanated from a far less hallowed principle.
The Gospel has been preached by ministers; places of
worship have been built by hearers; distant lands have been visited by
missionaries; yes, imprisonment and death may have been sought by martyrs,
in some cases, not from pure zeal for God's glory—but under the influence of
selfishness! All sorts of artful practices have been supported—all kinds of
stormy passions have been indulged—all kinds of injuries have been
inflicted—under the pretense of glorifying God—but which, in fact, are to be
ascribed to selfishness! When a man is identified with a party—what he does
for that party—he does for himself.
The same remarks will apply to many of those actions
which are performed on the professed ground of regard for the public
good. Pure patriotism is a scarce virtue, and is found but rarely in the
bosoms of those who are loudest in their praises and professions of it. Many
a noisy and self-eulogized patriot—many a zealous supporter of public
institutions—many an active reformer of popular errors—many a liberal
contributor to humane or religious societies—could their motives be
exposed, would be found to act from no higher aims than to get a name for
themselves—and to be praised by their fellow-creatures!
Some indulge this disposition under the pretext of
regard for the truth. Attaching an overweening importance to their own
opinions, as if they possessed the attribute of infallibility, overbearing
in debate, impatient when contradicted, determined to crush the opinions and
resist the influence of those who are opposed to theirs—they quiet their
conscience, and silence the voice of remonstrance, with the plea that their
vehemence is pure zeal for the interests of truth. They would be less
anxious, they say, if it were their personal interests at stake; but they
have a right to be earnest, yes, even to be contentious—in the defense of
the faith! But they don't know themselves—or they would discern that their
conduct springs from a proud, imperious, and selfish spirit!
It is time to contemplate
the EVIL of selfishness.
Selfishness is the direct opposite to divine benevolence,
and is contrary to the habitual temper of our Lord Jesus Christ, "who
pleased not himself." Selfishness is the cause of all sin, the opposite
of all holiness and virtue. Selfishness is the source of innumerable
other sins, and is placed by the apostle as the head and leader of the
eighteen vices which he enumerates as the marks of perilous times—"Men shall
be lovers of themselves." Selfishness was the sin which introduced all guilt
and misery into the world—for the first transgression, by which Adam fell
from innocence, and by which his posterity fell with him, was an effort to
raise himself into a state of independence; by selfishness he laid the world
under the burden of the divine condemnation! Selfishness is a rejection of
all the claims, and an opposition to all the ends and interests of society;
for if all people were under the influence of predominant selfishness,
society could scarcely exist! Let each one seek and grasp his own, to the
injury or neglect of the rest, and the world becomes a den of wild beasts,
where each plunders for his prey, and all distress one another.
Selfishness defeats its own end. God has endowed us with
social affections, in the indulgence of which there is real pleasure—the
exercise of kindness and the enjoyment of delight are inseparable. "If there
be any comfort of love," says the apostle; by which he implied, in the
strongest manner, that there is great comfort in it; and, of course, in
proportion as we extend the range and multiply the objects of our love, we
extend the range and multiply the sources of our happiness. He who loves
only himself, has only one joy; he who loves his neighbors, has many. To
rejoice in the happiness of others, is to make it our own; to produce it, is
to make it more than our own. Lord Bacon has justly remarked, that our
sorrows are lessened, and our felicities multiplied, by sharing them.
Mankind had been laboring for ages under the grossest
mistake as to happiness, imagining that happiness arose from receiving—an
error which our Lord corrects, by saying, "That it is more blessed to give
than to receive." A selfish man, who accumulates property—but diffuses not,
resembles the stagnant pools, into which whatever flows remains there, and
whatever remains corrupts! He is not like the perennial fountain sending
forth fertilizing streams! Miser is his name, and miserable he is in heart.
Selfishness often brings a terrible retribution in this world—the tears of
its wretched subject fall unpitied—and he finds, in the gloomy hour of his
want or his woe, that he who determines to be alone in his fullness, will
generally be left to himself in his sorrows; and that he who in the days of
his prosperity drives every one from him by the unkindness of his
disposition, will find in the season of his adversity, that they are too far
off to hear his cries for assistance.
Selfishness is not an incurable temper—but it is a
disease that requires an immediate and diligent attention! Where
selfishness not only exists but predominates, the spring of human action
must be renewed by regeneration, and we must have that new heart, which is
brought to love God supremely, and our neighbor as ourselves. We must
meditate often upon the deep criminality of selfishness, and look upon it in
all its deformity, until we hate it! We must be careful to strip it of all
the disguises which the deceitfulness of the heart has thrown over it! We
must abound in contemplation of the character of God, as infinite in love;
and of Jesus Christ, as an incarnation of pure, unselfish affection. We must
exercise great mortification, laboring to the uttermost to subdue, and if
possible to eradicate, this vile disposition! And repeating this again and
again until we begin to taste the pleasure and to feel the habit of
kindness. Above all, we must pray earnestly for the help of the Holy
Spirit—to assist us in the mighty work of vanquishing a selfish temper!
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