Choice excerpts from the diary
and letters of RUTH BRYAN

Break this hard, hard heart!

(Written at the age of seventeen)
I seem to have some feeling about Divine things;
but, alas! this afternoon am as stupid as usual.
Nothing, nothing will break this hard heart! Oh,
that I may be directed by the Spirit of truth to
the right way of happiness!

I fear that I am not affected as I ought, and have
only a faint desire to become a Christian; and that
merely to escape hell. Lord, have mercy upon me!
Lead aright; break this hard, hard heart! You,
Lord, know what I would have, even the forgiveness
of my sins. During service was as cold as a stone!
Oh, when will this vile heart be melted and subdued
by divine grace?

Oh, what a picture!

(Written at the age of seventeen)
I seem to have some feeling about Divine things;
but, alas! this afternoon am as stupid as usual.
Nothing, nothing will break this hard heart! Oh,
that I may be directed by the Spirit of truth to
the right way of happiness!

I fear that I am not affected as I ought, and have
only a faint desire to become a Christian—and that
merely to escape hell. Lord, have mercy upon me!
Lead aright! Break this hard, hard heart! You, Lord,
know what I would have—even the forgiveness
of my sins.

During service I was as cold as a stone! Oh, when
will this vile heart be melted and subdued by divine
grace? I have no faith, no humility, no sense of sin, no
confidence in the promises, no fear of the threatened
punishments; nor anything that I ought to have!

Oh, what a picture!

O Lord, break this heart into ten thousand pieces!
Oh! I would sooner suffer all horrors and terrors
imaginable, and be saved at last—than be in my
present dreadful and stupid state. Break—break,
oh, break my heart, and make me give it entirely
to You, O blessed Savior!

To a vile Magdalene

Never had anyone . . .
  so rich a Banker,
  so kind a Husband,
  so tender a Shepherd,
  so forbearing a Captain—
as I have in my glorious Christ!

The more I venture—the more He encourages.

The bolder I am—the kinder He grows.

The more I expect—the more He gives.

I cannot tire or wear Him out, for He is full, yes,
fullness of grace, mercy, love, and compassion!

The one-half of His glory has never been expressed
by mortal tongue; nor the thousandth part of His
ravishments and condescension conceived by those
who have not felt them. This, this is my—oh yes!
my Beloved—and this is my Friend! Oh, what
mercy to have another love-glimpse of Him.

I look at myself with wonder of amazement and
overwhelming delight—because a monument of
saving, sovereign mercy! Happy! unspeakably
happy! Amazing miracle of superabounding love!

Hasten the day when in His full-orbed glory I shall
lose my sorrows and my sins forever! I adore and
magnify Him for His mercy—amazing mercy—to a
vile Magdalene. Hallelujah! Amen!



The believer's perfection

I am most exceedingly distressed by my sins, and
feel the need of Jesus' precious blood every hour!
I need a supply from the Fountain! "On that day
a fountain will be opened . . . a fountain to cleanse
them from all their sins and defilement." Zech. 13:1

Feeling fully what I am in myself, and proving
afresh that "in my flesh dwells no good thing"—
in this sad state I fly to Jesus as my only refuge!

Oh that the depth of my sin and misery may be
overcome by His rich grace, that with Mary I may
weep at His dear feet, and love much, having
much forgiven.

While in the body we shall never be free from sin.
I had been looking for something from and in my
flesh which the Word of God does not warrant me
to expect. "That which is born of the flesh is flesh"
—and ever will be!

The believer's perfection is in Christ. Oh that
He may condescend to teach me, and lead me to
look straight out of self—to a glorious Christ!

"And you are complete in Him." Colossians 2:10



Sweet comfort

During the past night I have again been called to
suffer much bodily affliction and very severe pain—
but was favored with such sweet comfort from my
precious Savior that it seemed light; nay, I thought
I could willingly bear a life of such suffering—if I
might constantly enjoy His presence!

Oh, how delightful was the hope of an eternity of
glory, and how sweet the thought that when life's
journey was ended, the veil would be drawn aside,
and no cloud ever again intervene to hide from my
soul, even for one moment, the lovely countenance
of my adorable Jesus!

Ten thousand thanks to you, dearest Savior, for this
love-glimpse! I long for more tokens of Your love,
and thirst for more constant communion with You!

Such is my frailty, that I am ever prone to sin. Come,
precious Jesus! chase away these thick clouds, and
let me behold Your lovely countenance, and be so
captivated with Your charms, that I may never more
give my heart to earthly objects!



Tell your sorrows and secrets

"This is what the Lord says—Cursed are those who put
 their trust in mere humans and turn their hearts away
 from the Lord. They are like stunted shrubs in the desert,
 with no hope for the future. They will live in the barren
 wilderness, on the salty flats where no one lives. But
 blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made
 the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees
 planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep
 into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat
 or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay
 green, and they go right on producing delicious fruit."
    Jeremiah 17:5-8

How I do like this passage! It is so descriptive of the
blessedness of trusting in the Lord alone; and the sterility
and disappointment of all creature confidence!

I know not your present difficulties, nor need I know them,
for I could not bring you out of them! But I do bless the Lord
that He has brought you into the very best posture of soul—
looking to Him alone. Tell your sorrows and secrets to
this your Friend, watch His eye, obey His bidding—and go
not to carnal and lower means for relief.

Adieu in our heavenly Bridegroom, and in His undying love,
Ruth

The secret of peace and power

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus." Hebrews 12:2

The work of the Holy Spirit is to bring us to be
experimentally nothing, and to make Jesus our
"all in all," thereby teaching us to live by faith
upon Him.

Oh, may you, by the Spirit's power, so lift up your
eyes from all but Jesus, that you will be conformed
to His image (2 Cor. 3:18). But do not expect to
receive any better account of yourself—rather a
worse one; for, as you get nearer the light, you
will see more of your own sinfulness. I do hope,
however, to hear you speak well of Him, and that,
as you feelingly cry out, "Behold, I am vile!" He will
melt your heart by responding, "You are absolutely
beautiful, my darling, with no imperfection in you!"

Oh, this wondrous Savior! He opens the secret of
our wanderings and transgressions—only to declare
how entirely He has put them all away by the
sacrifice of Himself! Oh, what mercy that He did
not say, "Let them alone, they have loved idols,
after idols let them go!" What mercy that by His
light, He has manifested our darkness. You shall
see greater things than these.

More of your own vile heart—and more of His loving heart.

More of your sin—and more of His great salvation.

More of your deformity—and more of His beauty.

Do not be considering so much how you love Jesus,
as how He loves you. Your love is but the effect; His
is the cause; and the more you have to do with the
cause, the more fully will the effect flow from it
(1 John 4:19, and John 15:9).

So with faith; if you would have it grow, it must be
by looking at Him, not at your faith.

In short, the more you "consider Him," and are continually
coming unto Him, the more lively and healthy will be the
graces of the Spirit in your soul; while yet you rejoice, not
in your fruitfulness—but only in Jesus and in what He has
done and suffered. If the Holy Spirit opens this to you, you
will find the secret of peace and power. It is all in
Christ! He says, "Arise, my love, my fair one, and come
away." Away from self, away from all besides—to be
absorbed in Him. We must learn . . .
 our weakness—as well as His strength;
 our emptiness—as well as His fullness;
 our ignorance—as well as His wisdom.

May your eye and heart to be fixed on Him. Then will your
course be steady, and you will not be greatly moved by the
many changes you will ever find within. Oh, press on after
a life of faith in Jesus, for it is next in blessedness to a life
of glory with Jesus. Beg of the blessed Spirit to draw your
faith out continually upon His precious Person and work. Oh!
may He cause you to come out of self continually, and find
your all in Jesus! The more you are brought so to live upon
Jesus, the more stability of soul you will experience. To Him
I commend you—may He be revealed more fully in your soul.

Not puny, sinful worms!

Deliverance seldom comes in the way we look for it;
for "Who has directed the Spirit of the Lord, or who
gave Him His counsel? Who did He consult with? Who
gave Him understanding and taught Him the paths of
justice? Who taught Him knowledge and showed Him
the way of understanding?" Isaiah 40:13-14

Ah, has not the Lord frustrated our purposes over and over
again! I cannot tell you with what majesty this passage has
often come to my mind—"Who gave Him His counsel?" Not
puny, sinful worms! He will counsel for them—but not with
them. "My counsel shall stand, and I will do all My pleasure."

Yet "fear not, worm Jacob, I will help you"—help you to stand
still and see My salvation; or help you to walk on in the dark
in a rough and unknown path—just as My wisdom sees fit.

Spiritual eyesight is not given to look at the outward path—
but to look at our Guide; not to look before us at the way we
are going to travel—but to look only at Him who will guide us
safely through all, who will Himself be our way. Oh, to be kept
abiding in Him, and constantly looking unto Him! It is most
safe and blessed—but very contrary to flesh and blood!

"I will lead the blind by a way they did not know; I will guide
 them on paths they have not known. I will turn darkness to
 light in front of them, and rough places into level ground.
 This is what I will do for them, and I will not forsake them."
     Isaiah 42:16

Spiritual health and strength

"My flesh is real food and My blood is real drink.
 The one who eats My flesh and drinks My blood
 lives in Me, and I in him." John 6:55-56

It is a present act—"eats" and "drinks."

Is the very life and death, person and work of Jesus
—the daily feast of your soul? Are you eating His flesh,
and drinking His blood? Let us see to it, that we are
seeking spiritual health and strength in no other
way than by the continual, daily feeding on Christ!

There is an ever fresh, ever full, sweetness in
heaven's precious Lamb! Oh, this precious truth!
It is gospel wine to my poor soul!

We have such a Christ that we little think how far His
glories and His matchless love surpass what we have
ever yet conceived. We do not make half enough of
Him—heaven's brightest gem, and richest treasure!
Oh, that the precious Comforter may reveal Him more
and more—that we may count all other things but filth
and dross.



Our works are all broken and faulty

As long as we look to 'our evidences' for comfort,
we shall be full of disquiet, for we discover . . .
  such weakness in our faith,
  such wavering in our hope,
  such coldness in our love,
  yes, such shortcoming in everything,
that we cannot find here any rest for the sole
of our foot, as regards spiritual confidence.

It must be all in Christ! "He is the rock, and
His work is perfect," while our works are all
broken and faulty. Oh! may the blessed Spirit
set your feet upon this Rock, and establish your
goings there. May He enable you to make the
venture of faith, just as you are, with wants
and woes, sins and fears.

The bitten Israelites were not healed by looking
at their wounds—but at the brazen serpent, which
was a type of Christ. And so while you are poring
over your sins and yourself you will only sink lower!

May the blessed Spirit enable you to look forth
with the eye of faith to the Lamb slain, and to
come away from self and all besides—to Jesus!

Oh that I could so speak of the worthy Lamb as
to set your heart on fire with love to Him and
longing after Him! Adieu, dear friend. The Lord
bless you, and in His own time strengthen,
establish, and settle you.

With kind love in our adorable Emmanuel, I remain,
though most unworthy, yours affectionately,
Ruth Bryan



Faith's view of a crucified Redeemer

My beloved friend,
We want to be something—but our Father has
determined to make and keep us nothing—so
that Christ may be experimentally our all.

I hope you are a little more looking unto Jesus—
a little more leaning upon Him amid your many
weaknesses. He can bear all your weight, for He
has borne all your sins, which are the worst part
of your burden. Oh, that by the Spirit you may
get a faith's view of a crucified Redeemer—
the peerless Pearl, the matchless perfection of
beauty and love!

"Yes, He is altogether lovely!" Song of Songs 5:16



We are both in the furnace!

"He will be like a Refiner and purifier of silver; He will
 purify the sons of Levi and refine them like gold and
 silver. Then they will present offerings to the Lord in
 righteousness." Malachi 3:3

Well, dear friend, we are both in the furnace! Much,
very much vile dross has in my case risen up—but my
blessed and patient Refiner sits watching the process.
Nor does all this dross, hateful as it is, make Him forsake
the work of His hands. He will have me know a little of
what is in my heart—that I may know more of what is
in His heart—even love, most invincible, unalterable,
unquenchable love! Love which endures to the end, amidst
all my wickedness, and wandering, and ingratitude. It is
indeed astonishing! Into the blessed depths of this love I
desire to be daily sinking, in all the fresh discoveries of
my utter worthlessness and vileness—that thus I may
praise Him more who has redeemed me from it all!

The Lord does not show us how bad we are to cause
despair—but to show forth the riches of His grace in
saving us, and to call forth new songs of praise to Him
who loved us, and washed us from our sins in His own
blood!

Oh, my dear friend, Jesus is worthy to be praised in the
depths as well as in the heights. He is near, and dear,
and precious in the hour of affliction. In the path of
tribulation, He gives some of His choicest fruits and
wines—to revive those who are faint and weary in
the wilderness.

Oh! may you be helped, yes enabled, "to trust in the Lord
at all times"—not only when you feel His love and have the
shine of His countenance—but also in the dark and wintry
day when clouds veil your sky, and sorrow invades your
soul. "When I am afraid, I will trust in You."



Have you ever been caught in this snare?

"Give us today our daily bread." Matthew 6:11

Whatever your heavenly Father calls you to, He will
support you under. But He will not give the manna
for tomorrow, or strengthen you for the next trial,
while you have it only in anticipation. "As your days,
so shall your strength be." And herein I read my own
foolishness; often wearing out present strength with
fears and forebodings of future trials; thus far
disregarding present mercies, and rebelling against
the Lord's will, because unlawfully anticipating it.

Being naturally of an anxious mind, I must say that
thus foolish and ignorant have I often been, and
surprised when brought to discover how much I was
dragging into the present hour, what did not belong
to it. Have you ever been caught in this snare?

"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will
 bring its own worries. Each day has enough trouble
 of its own." Matthew 6:34



Constant religious engagements

"They made me the keeper of the vineyards; but
 my own vineyard have I not kept." Canticles 1:6

We may be active in our Lord's cause—but not
spiritual in our own souls. We may be earnest
for the salvation of others—but not be living in
the joys of salvation ourselves. We may be
instrumentally distributing the bread and water
of life—but not be enjoying daily refreshment
in our own experience. I do sorrowfully think
that this is too much the case in the present day.

The reason why I thus judge, is from finding people
so lively in conversing upon what they are doing for
the Lord—yet so slow to speak of what He is doing for
them. They seem delighted to tell of the great things
which are going on all around—but immediately shrink
back if any 'heart subject' is brought home to them.

In fact, if one speaks of personal enjoyment of the love
of Jesus, there is no response from some—but they put
it down to the score of egotism. While others refer to
years past, when they did feel Him to be precious—but
they confess that they know little of it now. They are
so occupied in what they call 'working for Him,' that they
hear little from Him, say little to Him, enjoy little of Him,
and may truly say, "While I was busy here and there,
He had left."

It is most lamentable for any living soul to be in
constant religious engagements for the good of
others—while following Jesus "afar off." Very many
such I fear there are; as well as hundreds who only
know Him in the judgment—and yet are continually
reading, teaching, and conversing on His blessed
name. This is a day of great profession—but yet real
vital godliness is at a low ebb, and close walking with
God in sweet communion is too little sought after.

Solemn, indeed, are these facts!

We may well say, with David, "Search me, O God,
and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends You, and lead
me along the path of everlasting life." Ps. 139:23-24



"Thus it was with me."

"Where sin abounded, grace did much more abound!"
    Romans 5:20

Ah, indeed! I felt there never was such a wretch,
such a living mass of putrefying sores and corruption!
Others might be worse outside—but I felt the sin was
not less polluting, because it worked chiefly within.
And I thought if the Lord ever saved me, I would be
the greatest wonder in heaven, and that there
never could be such another trophy of redeeming love!
Nothing less than sovereign power and irresistible grace
would ever be sufficient for such a hell-deserving one
as myself!

Thus it was with me. It seemed too good to be
true—that I, who deserved the lowest hell, and had
felt so long as though I were hanging over it—should
be delivered forever from it! "Deliver her from going
down to the pit—I have found a Ransom!"

The blood of Jesus is the only way by which
a poor sinner can enter into heaven itself.
Coming with that precious blood, the vilest
shall not be shut out, for it "cleanses from
all sin."

Secret sin,
open sin,
old sin,
long-continued sin,
sins against light and knowledge,
sins against judgment and mercy,
known sin,
unknown sin,
every kind and manner of sin which a poor
trembling, Spirit-convinced sinner feels—
does this powerful blood take away!

My sins were as scarlet, my guilt of crimson dye;
but blood of a richer hue which flowed out from
the veins of my precious Savior has made me
white as snow! None need despair, since He
has saved such a worthless, hell-deserving one
as myself!

"Where sin abounded, grace did much more abound!"



What a mercy, then, to be stripped of all

I must confess that God generally deals very contrary
to my expectations. Yet "He does all things well." It is
"Sweet to lie passive in His hands,
 And know no will but His."

I have proved . . .
  my own strength to be complete weakness,
  my own wisdom to be consummate folly,
  my own righteousness to be filthy rags.

What a mercy, then, to be stripped of all,
and have . . .
  Christ for wisdom,
  Christ for righteousness,
  Christ for strength,
  Christ for purity,
  Christ for power,
  Christ for beauty,
  Christ for holiness,
  Christ for acceptance above,
  Christ for our daily walk,
  Christ for our daily work,
  Christ for rest,
  Christ for food,
  Christ for medicine!
Yes, to know nothing among men or before
God—but Jesus crucified and glorified!

To His loving heart and powerful arm I
again commend you for all your needs.

Yours affectionately,
Ruth

The experience of this union

"And you are complete in Him." Colossians 2:10

Truly, my dear friend, we should be learning more and
more how completely He has saved us in Himself, and
how constantly He delights in us with all His heart, so
that we have no need to seek for anything in ourselves
to make us more entirely accepted or more loved.

"He cannot love us more, nor will He love us less; for
in loving her (His Church, His Bride,) He loves Himself."

Viewing us in Himself, He ever says, "You are absolutely
beautiful, my darling, with no imperfection in you!" And
the response of faith and love is, "He is altogether lovely!"
(Song of Songs 4:7, 5:16)

The experience of this union releases the soul from
a host of cares and anxious thoughts.

 

It is your Husband who hangs bleeding there!

"I will make you My wife forever, showing you righteousness
 and justice, unfailing love and compassion. I will be faithful
 to you and make you Mine, and you will finally know Me as
 Lord." Hosea 2:19-20

Well may it be asked, Who is this wondrous Beloved,
who would go to such depths for His spouse; and on whom
the weak one is leaning as she comes up out of the wilderness?

Ah! He is the same who, from all eternity, was the great
"I Am!" the mighty God, by whom all things were created,
who is before all things, and who holds all things together!

It is He who, in the fullness of time, scorned not the lowly
Virgin's womb, but became a babe.

It is the same glorious Person who was seen coming with
crimson-stained garments, traveling in the greatness of
His strength, who tread the winepress of Almighty wrath
alone!

It is He whose countenance is as the sun shining in his
strength, yet whose "visage was marred more than any
man's, and His form more than the sons of men."

It is the same glorious Person who is a holy One of the holy
ones; and yet "a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief!"

It is the same glorious Person who is "holy, harmless,
undefiled, and separate from sinners;" and yet "numbered
with the transgressors."

Under the weight of sin and its punishment, Jesus agonized
in the sacred garden of Gethsemane, and sweat great drops
of blood falling down to the ground. Oh, those rich, rich
drops from His precious veins! They are of more value than
all the gold and gems His hands have made!

This is the matchless Bridegroom of whom we speak—who,
on Calvary, was stretched on the accursed tree, and there
finished the love-scene of His mystic sufferings!

Come, sit with me a moment beneath the shadow of His
cross! Look up, and remember it is your Husband who
hangs bleeding there!

It is the Bridegroom, in love for the Bride, enduring those
unknown pangs! See how His holy flesh is bruised with
scourging, and His precious hands and feet pierced with
rugged nails! How is His heavenly brow torn with piercing
thorns, and His dear side with the cruel spear; each gaping
wound proclaiming, "Man is guilty—God is love! But
God is justice too!" Oh, see His precious blood trickling
down. It flowed forth for sinners like me—like you!

Look and wonder!

Look and be comforted!

Look and adore!

"Here look until love dissolves your heart,
 And bids each slavish fear depart!"

O glorious Lord, we worship You!

"Your beauties we can never trace
 Until we behold You face to face!"

We love to meditate on Your sufferings, but rejoice
that they are over. You have suffered, and you die
no more! You have gone to our Father and to Your
Father; and we are expecting you to "come again"
and receive us unto Yourself, to be with You, and
behold Your glory; when, in nobler and sweeter
strains we'll sing Your never-dying love, and tell
Your power to save; while with open face and
ravished heart—we forever gaze upon Your
matchless beauty!

"May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so
great you will never fully understand it!" Ephesians 3:19

She is ugly!

Wonder, O heavens! and be astonished, O earth! that
this most glorious Immanuel, the Prince of Peace, whom
angels worship, and before whom the seraphim bow—
should from all eternity engage to come and seek His
Bride from this poor world, and claim her for His own!

Yet so it is!

But she is filthy and polluted! (Ezek. 16:6; Job 15:14-16;
Isa. 64:6) Then His own precious veins shall pour forth the
rich crimson flood to cleanse her, (Rev. 1:5) and His Spirit
shall open the fountain to wash her from her sin and
uncleanness. (Zech. 13:1)

But she is naked and bare! (Ezek. 16:22) Then He will
cast His skirt over her, (Ezek. 16:8) and will for her, weave
in the loom of the Law (Rom. 5:19) fine linen—clean and
white—a robe in which she shall be fit to appear at His court!
Moreover the Spirit shall bring near the righteousness of Jesus,
(Isa. 46:13) clothing her with "the garments of salvation," and
covering her with the "robe of righteousness," "as a bride
adorns herself with her jewels."

But she is diseased! (Isa. 1:5, 6) She is a leper! (Ps. 51:5)
Yet will He bring her health and cure, for He says, "I am the
Lord who heals you;" and He is actually made to be sin for
her, (2 Cor. 5:21) that she might be made "the righteousness
of God in Him."

But she has no personal charms—she is ugly! Then He
will put His loveliness upon her, and through it her beauty
shall be perfect.

But she is poor! So He bestows Himself and His fullness
upon her—and thus endows her with unsearchable riches!

But she is unwilling, and has no heart to the match, for
she obeys a hostile prince! (Eph. 2:2,3) Her delights, too,
are in the world and the flesh. A new heart will He give her,
and a right spirit will He put within her. The Holy Spirit shall
make her willing in the day of His power. "I will cause you
to forget your images of Baal; even their names will no
longer be spoken." (Hosea 2:17) So that, prostrate at His
feet, she shall say, "Lord, our God, other lords than You
have ruled over us, but we remember Your name alone!"

And now that the Spirit has touched her heart, she feels she
is diseased, and discovers her filthiness and nakedness,
knows she is ugly and poor, and cannot think the Bridegroom's
heart is towards her, or that she can find favor in His eyes. And
therefore she cries out, "I am black!" "Behold, I am vile! My
loveliness has turned into corruption!" But He overwhelms her
by responding, "You are all beautiful, my love, there is no spot
in you!"

Then she exclaims, "Place me like a seal over your heart, like
a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death!" He replies,
"Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you
by name; you are Mine! When you go through deep waters
and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through
rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through
the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames
will not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy
One of Israel, your Savior!"

Now she ventures, with a captivated heart, to declare, "My
Beloved is mine, and I am His! He is the chief among ten
thousand! He is altogether lovely!"

"May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so
great you will never fully understand it!" Ephesians 3:19

For His poor Rachel

Did Jacob serve seven years for his Rachel—by day in
the heat, and by night in the frost—and did they seem
but as a day unto him—for the love he had for her?

Our spiritual Jacob has far exceeded him! He left
the throne of His glory for His poor Rachel, and
took her humble flesh in the form of a servant; and
for her sake served thirty-three years under the Law!
He bore the heat of temptation, weariness, and thirst;
as well as the cold of reproach and scorn, and the
malice of sinners against Himself. This He thought
not too much; for when He had finished the work on
her behalf, for her He cheerfully entered upon the
most bitter part of His sufferings, which made even
His mighty heart to shudder with agony, while His
dear lips prayed—"O my Father, if it is possible,
(with the rescue of my Bride) let this cup of suffering
be taken away from Me; nevertheless, not as I will,
but as You will."

Behold the depth of His unflinching love! The 'cup of
curse' must be drunk, or the captive Bride must perish!
And so He takes the bitter cup, and does not turn away
until every dreg is consumed! And the same sacred lips
which emptied it could say in triumph, "It is finished!"

For the joy that was set before Him (of possessing His
beloved bride) He endured the cross, despising the shame,
and has now sat down at the right hand of God, until the
blissful consummation before assembled worlds, when it
will be joyfully proclaimed, "The marriage of the Lamb
has come, and His wife has made herself ready!"

Then shall the spiritual Jacob and His Rachel meet and
embrace, and part no more forever! She awaking up after
His likeness, shall be satisfied! And He seeing her in glory,
(the very travail of His soul,) shall be satisfied likewise!

"May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so
 great you will never fully understand it!" Ephes. 3:19

Cancer, go to that child!

(Ruth wrote the following when dying of cancer.)
"I have much inward fever, making me restless
and uneasy at night, but I have been led to see
this fever as my Father's servant, obeying His
will. God says, 'Fever, go to that child, and work
in her frame, and disturb her rest;' and it comes,
but all is in covenant love. He has said also,
'Cancer, go to that child, and wound her flesh,
and sap her strength;' and it has come, and is
doing His work and His will—but all is love."

"The waters of affliction have risen higher this month,
but, safe in my living Ark, I am unhurt. It is sharp to
flesh and blood, but right to faith. I am not always
light and bright in my feelings; but oh! what blessed
security and solidity do I find in my precious Rock!
There I am, come what may! Angels might envy my
joy—joy in the flood and in the flame. Hallelujah!"
"The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my savior;
 my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is
 my shield, the strength of my salvation, and my
 stronghold." Psalm 18:2



Why cling to the ash-heap?

Oh, why should kings' sons and daughters go lean
from day to day? True, these heavenly viands do
spoil one for earth-born cares—but then much less
of earth's good things suffice, when we thus live in
and upon a glorious Christ.

Oh, come, Spirit-born and heaven-bound ones—
why do you so linger around earthly trifles? Why
cling to the ash-heap? You are princes—this
befits you not! There are such loves, and glories,
and wonders in Jehovah-Jesus to be enjoyed even
below, as yet we little think of! Oh, come, let us
arise, and go to Jesus!

"Earth has no dainties half so sweet
    As my Redeemer brings."

Jesus, our divine Magnet, attract us to Your dear Self!



The key which fits every lock

"When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you
 into all the truth." John 16:13

What a wonderful book is God's Bible—as opened
to the heart by the Spirit! Christ is the key which
fits every lock, both in the book and in the heart.

"When the Counselor comes, the One I will send to
 you from the Father—the Spirit of truth who proceeds
 from the Father—He will testify about Me." John 15:26

Blessed Jesus! You are the living key by which every
secret in the Word is opened, as the blessed Spirit
uses and reveals You in them.

Adorable Immanuel, Moses wrote of You, the Psalms
and prophets speak of You. Open my dull understanding
to discern You through the types and through the shadows.
Show Yourself through these lattices, and open my heart to
receive You experimentally in all. Eternity will be too short
to utter half Your praise. Oh, cause me to lisp it more
constantly and feelingly in the low notes of the wilderness!


All I need

Oh, my precious Savior! You are all I need
for time and for eternity. You are . . .
  my rest in weariness,
  my ease in pain,
  my strength in weakness.

Is anything too hard for the Lord?

Is anything too small for the Lord?

Is anything too great or heavy for the Lord?

No!

My beloved and my adorable Lord, I fall into
Your arms for support, guidance, and blessing.

Indeed, I am unworthy of the least of Your
mercies, and I feel it. But Your mercies are
free! Oh, the wonders of Your love, that can
bear with such weakness and wanderings as
mine! I worship and adore You, and would
joyfully sink into Love's unfathomable abyss,
where sins and self are lost!

Oh! my precious Savior, how blessed is Your
presence amidst the storms of this weary land!
How does all that is of earth recede before the
overshadowings of Your presence! Precious Lord,
draw me more and more into Your secret chamber,
where worldling never came, where the flesh was
never fed.

The precious Sufferer on that middle cross

I have been looking much at the last hours of my
precious Lord, this morning. I have been somewhat
beholding the precious Sufferer on that middle
cross.

Both the thieves railed on Him. But one of these thieves,
by the power Spirit, was brought to confess his own
sinfulness, and by the same Spirit to call Jesus "Lord."
Then how sweet was the answer of peace, "Today you
shall be with Me in paradise." Thus did redeeming love
break forth in a refreshing stream from that suffering
heart and those parched lips—to give drink to that other
sufferer, who was, indeed, "ready to perish."

After this, came the cry of agony, "My God, my
God, why have You forsaken Me?" Oh! that was
the climax of woe!

And then those mysterious words, "I thirst!" Mere bodily
suffering was not all which was couched in these words.
But that righteous One was dwelling with the devouring
fire, and enduring what would have been "everlasting
burnings" to us.  The wrath of the Lawgiver was going
forth upon the sin which was found upon Him. He thirsted,
as in hell—that He might "lead us to fountains of living
waters" in heaven!

And those tender looks and words to His mother and His
beloved John, do indeed manifest a heart without an atom
of that selfishness which we inherit by the fall.

Then came the end, when, after receiving the vinegar, Jesus
said, "It is finished!" Then bowing His head, He gave up His
spirit. What amazing weight and fullness is in those three
words, "It is finished!" Finished for me, the vilest of the vile,
whom You have privileged to stand, with dear Mary Magdalene,
at the foot of Your cross, and listen to Your dear lips, which,
even there, drop as the honeycomb. If these 'sips in grace'
are so sweet—what will those 'draughts in glory' be?

Truly, I have almost seemed to stand with Mary Magdalene
beside Your cross, and gathered up these precious fragments
with wondering love, and mingled joy and grief.

Oh, precious Christ, eclipse all earthly vanities, by revealing
Yourself more fully!

If You gave me a mountain of gold

"Behold, I am vile!" Job 40:4

"I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes." Job 42:6

I fall blushingly at Your dear feet, and loathe myself
for my many abominations and shortcomings. Glorious
Lord, pardon and restore vile, vile me! I fall into Your
arms of 'injured love', to accept whatever punishment
You shall appoint. I deserve the worst You can inflict.
But, oh! for love's sake, let me see Your loving frown,
and feel Your loving stripe—but not find You gone.

Your absence is hell to the heart which has seen Your
glorious charms, and felt Your matchless love. Oh, do
not, do not leave me! And do not let me leave You!
I fly to Your blood, and cleave to the crucified One.

O Lord, if You gave me a mountain of gold—I would
turn from it, or climb over it—to get at Your precious self!


I loathe myself beyond expression

I feel a vile, unworthy, unholy being. I loathe
myself beyond expression. But the blood
and righteousness of Jehovah-Jesus is my
confidence, and here I have a place of refuge.

"What a wretched man I am!" Romans 7:24

"Christ died for the ungodly." Romans 5:6

"My salvation and glory depend on God; my
strong rock, my refuge, is in God." Psalm 62:7

Immortal scars?

"Then I saw a Lamb, looking as if it had been slain,
 standing in the center of the throne." Revelation 5:6

Alas! those wondrous wounds! Have they left immortal
scars? Will You, through all eternity, wear those marks
of Your matchless love?

And will You, in those blissful realms, dissolve our souls
in holy rapture and adoring love, by saying, "Look at My
hands and My feet—it is I Myself!" Surely, if anything could
add beauty to that glorious form, it would be, in the eyes of
love, those deep engravings—"I have engraved you upon
the palms of My hands."

I am again almost overcome with love—my Beloved is so
precious! And surely You, O Beloved, are engraved on the
table of my longing heart. Oh, grant another glimpse of
Your surpassing charms! I would sink into Your arms, and
recline on the bosom of Your love!

Blissful exchange!

My exercise this evening is renouncing self entirely:
 good self,
 bad self,
 self pleased,
 self displeased,
 self in its complainings, beseechings, enticings, desirings,
 self entirely.

Oh that it may be once and forever!

I embrace my all-lovely, soul-satisfying Christ—
instead of my self! Blissful exchange! Perfect
purity and beauty—for ugliness and vileness!

O Holy Spirit, enable me ever to renounce self,
forsake creatures—and embrace Jesus!

What mortals so pursue

My Jesus is my rest and refreshing, in all my
weariness. As I lean on Him—I triumph. When
I confer with flesh, and look to creatures—I get
shame and loss.
`
I have now earnest desires for new commitment to
a precious Christ, as my all in all; that the shadowy
things of time may less cumber me, however contrary
to flesh; and to live Christ be my one concern.

Now I yield up all to You, and myself to follow afresh
hard after You, and afresh to "count all things but loss"
for Your sake. Oh, my beloved, my all-lovely Savior,
You are gain, and gain enough. My precious Jesus, Your
fellowship is what I seek; and for it give up as rubbish,
what mortals so pursue:
  riches,
  honor,
  appearance,
  fleshly indulgence.

I desire a quiet, secluded life—little with the world,
much with Jesus. Come, with Your conquering charms,
and all-absorb this longing soul of mine!

"Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with
 the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.
 I have discarded everything else, counting it all as
 garbage, so that I may have Christ." Philippians 3:8

In my cage

"He will take these weak mortal bodies of ours and
 change them into glorious bodies like His own."
     Philippians 3:21

There has been, indeed—but a step between me
and death. But here am I, still fettered in clay,
and my soul still encaged in the wires of mortality.
But through them beams the glory of the better
country, and the loveliness of my Beloved. And
though yet in my cage, I can sing His matchless
love and worthy praise, for the dear Comforter
has tuned my heart. How to recount the Lord's
mercies I know not, they have been so beautifully
unfolded in this affliction.

Daily bread

"As your days, so shall your strength be." Dt. 33:25

I seem to see with fresh light, that it is vain to
expect to come to a certain state, when we shall
live by grace, constantly and spontaneously. The
desirable position is, to live in felt dependence
and emptiness—seeking constant renewings of
the Holy Spirit—to live by simple faith on Jesus.

Therefore, if I receive ever such large and fresh
inflowings of grace today, I must not think that
it is a stock for tomorrow; or think then to act by
this day's power, or walk by this day's light.

"Be merciful unto me, O Lord: for I cry unto You
 daily." Psalm 86:3

"Give us this day our daily bread." Matthew 6:11

"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who
 daily bears our burdens." Psalm 68:19

Away with every idol!

"Give them this message from the Sovereign Lord:
 I, the Lord, will punish the people of Israel who
 set up idols in their hearts." Ezekiel 14:4

Away with every idol! May Christ be all in all!

"For to me, to live is Christ!" Philippians 1:21

My Ishi!

"You will call Me Ishi—(my husband). Hosea 2:16

"You will be called Hephzibah—(My delight is in her)
. . . for the Lord will take delight in you." Isaiah 62:4

Christ is most precious. He is my Ishi! I, His Hephzibah!
What love! What wonders, for a worm so vile! But He has
borne my vileness away—and is Himself my loveliness!

Christ, the Beloved of my soul, is my perfection, and His
blood is my purity. However great my guilt, His precious
blood is more than a match for it all. This has been like
solid rock to my soul. "Praise the Lord, O my soul!"

This hateful, hated idol!

Oh! kill and crucify this SELF in me—this hateful,
hated idol! Come in, O precious Christ, and make
it fall before You!

Yes; vile, guilty, abominable as I am—my own Jesus
bathes me in His blood, robes me in His righteousness,
puts upon me His beauty, and then says, "You are
absolutely beautiful, my darling, with no imperfection
in you." (Song of Songs 4:7) Oh, the wonders of His
love! My heart is ravished and overcome!

The unanswerable question

"Why me?" This is the unanswerable question—
the wonder of wonders! I, a weak, low, vile, wandering
worm—filled with Your love, ravished with Your beauty!
It is all of grace! To God be all the glory!

Oh, my precious Lord, I am overwhelmed in, and
by, Your love! You have freed me from my sin and
its punishment—by taking them upon Yourself! And
You have prepared me for Yourself—by putting Your
perfect loveliness upon me!

You have overcome me, You ravish my heart!

I thirst with intense and increased ardency, for
unfoldings of the personal glories of my precious
Christ, who is, indeed, "more precious than rubies."

Precious Lord, You are my rest, my happiness, and
You are all-sufficient. Hold me to You, nor let me
wander more.

Malady and remedy

Dear friend,
I know not your present malady; but
I know that Christ is the remedy for it!

There is more in Christ for empty souls, than
pen or tongue of men or angels can count!
May you have free access, and eat and drink,
and forget your poverty—being taken up with
His riches, fullness, and glory! The Lord comfort
you, and establish your heart with grace. Adieu.

Yours affectionately, in our Beloved One,
Ruth

Playing with its tinsel toys

How the world has lessened and deadened to me
lately. It seems a very nothing, and vanity indeed. To
see Christians gathering its golden dust, and playing
with its tinsel toys, is monstrous. Oh, come away,
you foolish ones, and leave the ash-heap, and rise into
Christ—your priceless inheritance and your eternal riches!

"Don't collect for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth
 and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But
 collect for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither
 moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves don't break in
 and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will
 be also. No one can be a slave of two masters, since either
 he will hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one
 and despise the other. You cannot be slaves of God and
 of money." Matthew 6:19-21, 24

Streams & Fountain

November 21st, 1830. While thinking this afternoon of
some friends who have been running eagerly from one
place to another after a celebrated, and, I suppose, most
interesting preacher; this idea forcibly struck me—why
manifest such undue concern after streams, when we
have the Fountain always accessible? I can, in my
humble cottage, approach the footstool of the Father
of mercies, and enjoy the manifestation of His love!

A silly fly!

I have just seen a silly fly, sporting heedlessly
close to a spider's web, and most likely it would
soon have sported into it—and have become fast
entangled in the snare. But a friendly hand swept
away the spider's network, and thus removed the
danger; while the heedless, helpless fly, was equally
unconscious of both the danger and the preservation.

Ah! then, I thought, perhaps it is thus often with me!
In an unseen snare I had been almost heedlessly
caught. But the seeing eye, loving heart, and powerful
arm of Jesus are mine! He beholds the intended mischief,
defeats the wily worker, sweeps away the entangling
thread—and thus preserves me from disaster!

All praise be Yours, dear Lord, for known and unknown
mercies and deliverances! Oh, may I never knowingly
sport on the edge of sin—or trifle with temptation.

"Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You preserve my
 life . . . with Your right hand You save me!" Psalm 138:7

Evidently given up

I have again this week written to my friend, and
pressed eternal things upon her notice. May the
Lord bless the message. My soul yearns over her,
and often do I mourn over her condition—for she
is evidently given up to fashion, and worldly
pursuits, and pleasure.

A life of simple faith

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer
 live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the
 body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved
 me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20

Oh, the sweet wonders of a life of simple
faith in Christ! From what little I know, I
am sure it is the most . . .
  flesh-humbling,
  sin-subduing,
  world-crucifying,
  Satan-defeating,
  soul-invigorating,
life in the world!

Unbelief is the source of my misery.

"Lord, increase my faith." Holy Comforter,
teach me how to live Christ at all times,
in all conditions.

Lord Jesus, I am Yours. I submit to Your will,
and unreservedly lay before You myself, with
all I have and am—to be at Your disposal, and
used for Your glory. I am no longer my own—
but Yours; and You, O precious Jesus, are
mine forever!

My endless, blissful theme

My endless, blissful theme is ever new; Jesus and His salvation
will never wear out. I would never have any sit down satisfied,
but still press on after fuller revelations of Jesus; for there are
heights and depths in the love of Christ of which the most favored
have no conception, and there are beauties and glories in His
person which none have yet beheld. Oh! I would have none rest
short of the revelation of His person, though His benefits are all
precious. Things of earth often repeated grow stale, but the same
view of a precious Jesus a thousand times over is ever new. When
Jesus shows Himself again to us, is He not as a lamb newly slain;
and is not His sacrifice, as an odor of a sweet smell, as fragrant
as though but just offered without spot unto God? Oh, yes, He
 is ever the same without sameness, and will be to all eternity.
The glories, beauties, and excellences of His person are infinite;
and from these boundless sources our finite minds will be feasted
forever and ever.

Mountains of the blackest guilt

Jesus is such a Savior, so mighty and so merciful, that
mountains of the blackest guilt may be safely trusted
with Him—His rich atoning blood will cleanse from all.

The magnetic stone

It is the fullness, freeness, and unchangeableness of
the love of Jesus—which alone will draw the wandering
heart back again. No 'sense of wandering' will draw the
soul back; no sense of backsliding will restore it. It is
Jesus, Jesus only, who is the magnetic stone to draw
the far-off one again to Himself and His dear embrace.
It is the inflowing of His precious love which will dissolve
the heart in true contrition for its wanderings.

At a distance from Him it may see its backslidings, and
remain hardened. But, under His warm beams, it will feel
them, and be melted in adoring wonder, because it has so
much forgiven. Oh! wrestle for a fresh revelation of Jesus
in your soul—and rest not again until you obtain it!

Not earthly gold, or pearls, or diamonds

"And the ransom he paid was not mere gold or silver.
 He paid for you with the precious lifeblood of Christ,
 the sinless, spotless Lamb of God." 1 Peter 1:19

My precious Lord hung on the dreadful cross, where
He was made a curse for sinful me—where He had
my hell, that I in Him might have eternal heaven.
The precious drops which flowed were the price of
my redemption—what a price! Not earthly gold,
or pearls, or diamonds—but purest, richest blood;
the blood of Jehovah's Fellow! Here was heaven's
gold paid to ransom sinful worms! Not for angels
were heaven's treasures thus poured out—but for
worms! Oh! wonder of wonders! My soul marvels
at such matchless love, and at the effects of it.

I adore and worship You, my glorious Lord, and
thank You for all Your sufferings, while I would
afresh give myself to You, and plead for more
revelations of Yourself. Worthy is the Lamb!

No food at Sinai

"Now that faith has come, we are no longer under
 the supervision of the law." Galatians 3:25

My soul has found sweet rest in Jesus amidst the trials
of the wilderness. I have been much instructed by this
verse: "Do not even let the flocks or herds graze near
the mountain." (Exodus 34:3) No food at Sinai—but
rich pasture on Calvary! My spiritual Joshua has led me
there to feed and to lie down.

"But now we have been released from the law, for we
 died with Christ, and we are no longer captive to its
 power. Now we can really serve God, not in the old
 way by obeying the letter of the law, but in the new
 way, by the Spirit." Romans 7:6



Just what suits me

Oh, what blessed heavenly lessons have I had
from the Spirit, and how has my heart burned
within me in fresh enjoyment of a precious
Jesus, and His all-fullness! My precious Jesus
is just what suits me in every case and every
place! Oh, what a gift has my Father bestowed!
Never, in all eternity, shall we fully learn His glories,
beauty, and love. He will be ever revealing Himself
more and more, and filling all our enlarging powers
with ineffable and now inconceivable bliss!

Our life, health, and strength

When the leper first discovers his miserable malady, he
will be examining himself and his symptoms continually.
But when cured, the command is, "Go, show yourself to
the priest," and from thenceforward his health will be
most promoted by examining the wonders of his cure,
and the person and work of his healing Savior. Jesus is
our life, health, and strength, and when He is revealed
in the soul, then begins a life of faith; not in the miseries
of self—but in Him.



A boggy place

I am experimentally passing over a boggy place,
where continually I sink into some evil of my fallen
nature—into sins and evil propensities which seemed
crucified—but now come forth again very boldly. It is
most trying, and deeply abasing. I can only cleave to
my crucified Surety, who has borne all my sins in His
own body on the tree, and whose precious blood
 cleanses from it all.

Blessed Lord, You know all I suffer, and how I loathe
the evil. Let it be for Your exaltation, a fresh crowning
You Lord of all, while I lie low in the dust at Your dear
pierced feet. I have had some melting of heart about
the "bitter herbs" of sin, of which my precious Jesus
partook. If He had not, there would have been no
Paschal Lamb for me. But now, even I eat that
wondrous food. "That same night they are to eat
the meat roasted over the fire, along with bitter
herbs, and bread made without yeast." Exodus 12:8


Nothing but Jesus can satisfy me

Oh, what blessed heavenly lessons have I had
from the Spirit, and how has my heart burned
within me in fresh enjoyment of a precious
Jesus, and His all-fullness!

Nothing but Jesus can satisfy me, and without
Him all is dreary. But to lie with my mouth in the
dust seems more fitting for me, than to banquet
with the King. Oh, my Lord, lay me low, and keep
me there. You know my abasings.


Oh, what a banquet we shall have!

Eternal praises to the Lamb who was slain! Oh,
what a banquet we shall have above! Even
here we have precious sips from the streams of
salvation. But there, will be an eternal draught
of the river of life!

"Blessed are those invited to the marriage
 feast of the Lamb!" Revelation 19:9

O Lord, I cast myself and my weights upon You. Make
me look unto Jesus more singly and simply! And now,
my blessed Lord, manifest Your precious Self to Your
poor weary pilgrim, for You are my rest and my refreshing.


Heaven's richest treasure!

"For you know that you were redeemed from your
 empty way of life inherited from the fathers, not
 with perishable things, like silver or gold, but with
 the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb
 without defect or blemish." 1 Peter 1:18-19

I wonder why dear saints do not talk with more
ardor about Him who has, in love to our souls,
brought them up from the pit of corruption.

Oh! what it cost Him! Price beyond all computing!
Heaven's richest treasure paid for worms of earth!

Oh! the wonders and blessedness of union to such
a rich Husband, who thought not His own precious
blood too much for my ransom!

Eternal praises to the worthy Lamb!

Oh! what an abasing sight it is!

During the night-watches I had a solemn view of the
exceeding vileness of my past life. I am sure I am the
worst of all. Yet, my faith would lay her hand, on that
dear head of Yours as my "sin-offering," and there
confess it all.

There cannot be a thorough faith-view of Jesus, and
entrance into His finished work, if we fear to see the
worst of ourselves which He is pleased to show us.
The whole we can never know. Oh! what an abasing
sight it is! I seem to myself a monster of iniquity.

A trifle seized my fleshly mind

This very morning a trifle seized my fleshly mind,
and stirred up its vanity and folly, by which my thoughts
were for a time brought into captivity. How abominable
and filthy is my natural heart, drinking down any iniquity
or foolishness like water! Truly, raven-like it is, for it feeds
upon corruption, which brings the Dove, or new nature,
into true mourning. Thus am I now. Behold, I am vile.
Woe is me, that such a mere feather weight of temptation,
finding me off the watch, should carry me away into lightness
of spirit, with vanity of mind, etc. My precious Savior, I fly to
You by faith. Only You can give me rest and peace, by Your
blood and in Your love. So to live by faith, looking only to
Jesus and His blood and righteousness, is blessed indeed!

O precious near Kinsman and Redeemer, You have taken my
sins and punishment. Oh, give me faith to live in this blessed
freedom—loathing sin, renouncing self, exalting Christ. All
praise to a Triune Jehovah, from a chief sinner saved. Surely
such a one should be a chief singer upon the stringed
instrument of the new heart. "Unto Him who loved us
and washed us from our sins in His own blood, be glory
and dominion forever and ever!


Having the power of sin broken

I have been feasting on, "Where here is no law—there
is no transgression." "We are dead to the law by the
body of Christ." Hence He can say, "There is no spot
in you"—no transgression.

"He has borne our sins in His own body on the tree."
Law and justice took hold on Him, and therefore they
let us go—they cannot hold both—we died with Him.

And as we abide in Him do we enjoy the freedom,
for "he that abides in Him sins not." This is the true
Gospel way of having the power of sin broken.

Oh! what glories do we inherit in union to the Lamb!
We lose our own impurities, and are ever beheld, in
the Divine eye—in His perfect holiness!

Precious Beloved of my soul, bring me by the Spirit
to live in You, walk in You, and never wander more.



Things so bitter to the flesh

This word has been sweet today, "I have refined you,
but not with silver, I have chosen you in the furnace
of affliction." Ah! indeed, I seem to see that I must
not pray to come out of the furnace—I am not half broken
and humbled. Do, dear Lord, bring Your glory, and my
soul health, out of those things so bitter to the flesh.

"I know, O Lord, that Your laws are righteous, and in
 faithfulness You have afflicted me." Psalm 119:75

Walking in the Spirit!

Oh, for more walking in the Spirit! It is He who
reveals spiritual secrets, and opens love's stores!

A heaven of love and holiness

Oh! indeed there is a heaven of love and
holiness in my glorious Christ. Abiding in
Him is "as the days of heaven upon earth."

That lovely countenance of the suffering Savior! how
it is marred more than any man's. But faith and love
see beauty still. There is love's climax—the Bridegroom
enduring for the Bride, and leaving her only a cup of
blessing!

I have found indescribable blessedness and fullness
in Jesus. I cannot express what my soul finds in the
realization that I am in Him. Being in Christ, all is mercy.

Sweet Savior, enfold me again in Your bleeding embrace.
Let me into the secrets of Your love and union. Thus shall
I live above the fogs of earth and vapors of fallen flesh.



No health or vigor of soul

It beams powerfully upon my mind, that the more
we live upon things seen, the more we shall be filled
with worldliness. And the more we live upon self, the
more we shall be perplexed with its workings. The
more we live upon Christ, the more we shall be filled
with Christ—and the two former will be subdued.

The Lord has ordained laws—as in natural so in spiritual
life. He has appointed that food shall be received to
strengthen the body—and Christ to strengthen the soul
which has been quickened into life by the Spirit. All our
victory over the first Adam nature is in the second Adam
—Christ. Therefore, no health or vigor of soul, except
as faith has much to do with Him!

As there is growth into Christ—He increasing, we
decreasing—we come to live upon Christ Himself,
by faith in Him, under the renewings of the Spirit.

The Lord has taught me the privilege and victory of living
out of self by faith; and by faith living upon Christ!



My old man

I plainly see that neither my old man nor my new man
can be mended. The one is too bad, the other too good.

There is no patching or painting the old man to advantage;
it will still be "corrupt, according to its deceitful lusts."

The new man needs neither patching nor painting, for it
is "created in righteousness and true holiness" (Eph. 4:24).

What is "born of the flesh is flesh"—and will act after its nature.
What is "born of the Spirit is spirit"—and will aspire to its source!

Whether You smite or smile

Suddenly, a terrible storm came up, with waves breaking
into the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went
to him and woke him up, shouting, "Lord, save us! We're
going to drown!" And Jesus answered, "Why are you afraid?
You have so little faith!" Then he stood up and rebuked the
wind and waves, and suddenly all was calm. Mt. 8:24-26

My future looks dark. I commit all, with myself, to
Him who rules the winds; and, when the waves are
high, He stills them.

Lord, I wait for Your salvation—but more for Yourself,
in manifested love. Oh, come, my glorious Redeemer,
skipping over the mountains of difficulty, and over the
worse mountains of my sins. The moments of Your
absence are as days of tedious gloom. Whether You
smite or smile; whether You come with sword or with
the horn of plenty—You are my Savior still, and my portion.

A life of faith

Jesus is very precious; and a life of faith in
Him, by the power of the Holy Spirit, is . . .
  very blessed,
  world-conquering,
  Satan-overcoming,
  sin-subduing.

Christ up—and me down

A rich feast this evening in hearing Mr. __ preach.
He preached Christ—not in the letter, but in the Spirit;
not in the history, but in the mystery of godliness, and
under that anointing by which alone He is revealed.

He preached Christ up—and me down. He seemed
to batter me into happy nothingness, so that afresh
I lost all identity out of Him, and came home, feeling
myself the happy bride, and gladly finding that I could
afford to lose self and creatures for, and in, so rich a
Husband. Bless the Lord, O my soul, for His wonders
to such a worm!

For the ungodly

"Christ died for the ungodly." Romans 5:6

Jesus—all holy, and all lovely as He was—loved
me, and gave Himself for vile, unworthy me.

Oh, all-glorious Well-Beloved! reveal Yourself
afresh—and eclipse all other objects!



I am utterly lovesick!

"Oh, feed me with Your love—Your 'raisins' and Your
'apples'—for I am utterly lovesick!" Canticles 2:5

She was lovesick; that is, overwhelmed with the
amazing love and loveliness of Immanuel! Oh, I long
to be away in the land of spices, to see Him as He is!


A hard lesson

Where a thing is evidently set for me with a cross in
it, I may safely take it up, expecting a blessing. I
mean something which crosses, and is contrary to—
my fleshly will, choice, ease, or gratification.

Dear Lord, help me! It is a hard lesson to flesh
and sense. How I must have loved self and its ease
—for it to be yet so hard to welcome its crucifixion!


Beautiful in His beauty

"The King is enthralled by your beauty!" Psalm 45:11

What words are these! And how sweetly do they
smile upon me!

How? In forgetfulness of all but Himself; for when we are
experimentally, with single eye, beholding Him—then is His
glory visibly reflected in us; we are beautiful in His beauty.

But it is like an eclipse, when we get taken up with self
and creatures. Oh, for this happy forgetfulness!

My glorious Well-Beloved, my soul desires Your beauty, with
intense longing. You have ravished my heart! No creature can
fill the place You have occupied. Oh, come and bless me again
with Your overwhelming love and loveliness!


I was Your death!

Oh, my precious Christ! You are my life—I was Your
death! May I weep, love, and praise You evermore!

Oh, my precious, all-loving Savior! there is in You such
an infinitude of blessedness as will fill and delight my
perfected capabilities through all eternity!

O lovely, glorious Immanuel! my soul burns with new
ardor in intense longings after You; all else sinks into
nothingness. You, and none but You Yourself, does
my soul desire.


I fall at Your feet, my Jesus

A poor, weak, guilty, hell-deserving creature—
I fall at Your feet, my Jesus. You have redeemed
me by Your blood; I am Yours! Oh, use me for Your
glory! Reveal Yourself still more unto me. By faith I
would embrace You for more . . .
  gratitude,
  love,
  faith,
  submission,
  patience,
  courage,
  and all I need,
while in this dreary desert—which You alone
can cheer—for all must come from You.


Who shall pluck me thence?

I cannot half speak of the fresh glories and beauties
I have lately seen in my blessed Jesus—my all-lovely
Immanuel! Oh, indeed, I know but a mere nothing
of His matchless worth!

It is marvelous that Your glorious, holy salvation,
should enclose unworthy me. But so it is!

The Lord has shut me in; yes, I am brought by
Jehovah's own power into holiness, happiness, and
everlasting bliss—and who shall pluck me thence?

I have them in Himself: and He holds me fast—oh,
so fast! Blessed security! law, justice, holiness—all
on my side; because I am one with Jesus, who has
met them all with infinite satisfaction.

I do love a salvation which can look at law and
justice with an open face. No other will satisfy a
Spirit-awakened conscience. And with such a great
salvation am I saved. Happy I, with such a glorious
Jesus! Happy, happy, saved sinner!


It shuts out the creature

This life of faith is all of Him, by Him, in Him,
and for Him; and it shuts out the creature
more than anything beside. It is most blessed,
and nothing exceeds it but the life of glory.


This beautiful affliction

March 18, 1849. Still suffering from great bodily
weakness. But the consolation and glory far exceed
the pain; such visits as I have had to Gethsemane!
such meltings at Calvary! and such beamings of the
glories of a risen Redeemer!

Being much alone today, I feel drawn out to take hold
of the Lord afresh, in order to the further development
of this beautiful affliction, that His glory may be
manifested.

To be willing to come back to 'the wilderness' again
costs a struggle. It seems so like leaving this celestial
valley, with the glory sometimes full in view—to climb
a dark, black hill.


Creature ways and means

Then Saul had his own military clothes put on David.
He put a bronze helmet on David’s head and had him
put on armor. David strapped his sword on over the
military clothes and tried to walk, but he was not used
to them. "I cant walk in these," David said to Saul,
"I'm not used to them." So David took them off.
    1 Samuel 17:38-39

I have just come to David, and my soul is melted where
he says, "I cant walk in these—I'm not used to them."
They seem to me like creature ways and means, as
if they were not to be my ways. For, like David, I can
tell my experience of the Lord's wonders by the hand
of faith—when He delivered me out of the paw of the
lion and the bear.

I see that, as is the man—so is his strength. If he is
a man in the flesh—his strength will be in ways, and
means, and fleshly contrivances. If he is a man in
Christ—his strength will be in the Lord his God.


Drunk up all my hell

Blessed Jesus—You have made an end of sin, and
conquered death. You have also drunk up all my
hell. What can I render? Only my whole self, with
all I have and am. It is not worth Your picking up.
But love puts a value upon its object. My Lord, my
life, my happiness, my heaven, my all! You have
loved and chosen me—You will not turn away!

What will heaven be, where, without interruption
or intermission—we shall love, adore, and praise?



How blessed is my condition!

This is just the experience I love—willing to
be nothing, that Christ may be all in all.

How blessed is my condition! Though so
vile a sinner in myself; yet chosen and beloved
in Christ from all eternity—every blessing for time,
all glory for eternity—secured to me in Him! Himself
my blissful portion! Himself my endless treasure!
Himself my ocean of love, my God and my glory!

My Lord, these hands and feet, this heart and tongue,
and my whole self—afresh I consecrate to You. Oh, to
spend and be spent in service for Your glory!



The eye of faith

"We live by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7

How sweet in every state to live on Jesus by
simple faith, for the present moment, and
leave the rest with Him.

How plainly do I see, that as the eye of faith
is fixed singly upon Christ, we are ready for
anything to which He calls us. But as we are
walking by sense, and looking at things "seen,"
we are fit for nothing; the hands hang down,
and the knees are feeble.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and
 perfecter of our faith." Hebrews 12:2


It is astonishing

It is astonishing that such a worm should be
so favored with discoveries of His beauty, whom
saints and angels gaze with ineffable delight.
But, after all, I know not yet a thousandth part
of what He is, and what I have in Him.

Surely Christ is all!

How little, how verily nothing, am I.

Oh! that my lips, my life, and every action,
might speak His praise and glorify His name,
who is a heaven to me!


Such deliciousness

If my sweetest Lord Jesus should blight outward
things, I must still love the hand which smites, and
crops, and withers, for He is all love and loveliness
—which thought melts my soul before Him. I find
such deliciousness in Him, that all the bitters
on earth seem as nothing in comparison.


Flesh-denying and crucifying

As faith is kept, by the Spirit, in continued actings
upon Christ, there will be much emptying, purging,
and purifying; not making the flesh better—but
purifying from the flesh, and purging from dead
works. The old nature will remain what it was, not
a whit improved—but it will have starvation; for I
am quite certain that, as faith is feeding upon Christ,
there will be more flesh-denying and crucifying
than in any other way.


Overwhelming happiness

Oh, the overwhelming happiness of being yielded
up by the Spirit's power to Christ alone, and to daily
crucifixion in all that the flesh loves and longs for!


Meltings and dissolvings

The meltings and dissolvings of Christ's love
none can know, but those who experience them.
Those who feel sin most, feel love most.

Ah! monster that I am!

A high look and a proud heart the Lord will not
allow, and yet these two abominations met in
me this morning; and where? Ah! monster
that I am—on entering the house of God! I
felt the evil, and the rebuke of conscience; the
Lord pardon. It is said, "He knows the proud afar
off," but this I cannot bear. I must press near—
even if it is to receive the stripes of love, and
have my pride beaten out of me.


Heart cannot conceive it

This affliction has been a very merciful one to me,
giving fresh opportunity for the display of the love
of Jesus, which has sweetly flowed into my soul,
proving that He is better to me than all earthly
mothers, fathers, husbands, brothers, or any other.

Oh, what have we in our precious Christ! Heart
cannot conceive it, tongue cannot utter it! He
is all love and loveliness, all glory and majesty.
He is Jehovah manifested, communed with, and
delighted in! It is heaven begun to dwell in His
embrace—yes, heaven—while fettered in mortality,
surrounded by creatures, and roared at by Satan
too. Oh, for higher, loftier strains of praise to Jesus,
my all in all.

I plead for no exemption from the trials of life

I plead for no exemption from the trials of life, or the
mortification, crucifixion, and continued disappointments
of the flesh. But I do plead, that in and through all, I may
be brought to closer, closer walking with Him who loved me,
and gave Himself for me, and that nothing may be allowed
to intervene to bring leanness of soul, or that dreaded coldness,
lightness, and worldliness of spirit, at the thought of which I
tremble and recoil. Oh, hear me, precious Jesus, and grant
my one request—to be more like You, and more with You,
and that You may be more glorified in me.


The stooping-down of Jehovah

It seems to me that Christ is the stooping-down of
Jehovah; the arm of Jehovah, on which we can lean;
the heart of Jehovah, of which we feel the sympathy;
the eye of Jehovah, of which we can bear the glance—
yes, whose look is love; the glory of Jehovah, upon
which we can gaze unconsumed, and, while we gaze,
are changed into the image thereof by the Spirit of the
Lord; the voice of Jehovah, which is music, melody, and
peace; the revealing of Jehovah.

Oh, infinite abyss of love and joy, and peace, and grace,
and truth, and holiness! my Christ, what is there not, what
have I not, in You? In vain I try to ascend the wondrous heights,
and explore the mighty depths! I am lost, overwhelmed, absorbed
in love and You—almighty, boundless, matchless, endless love; "for
God is love," and in this dwelling-place I would rest for evermore.


Hot temptation, fiery darts, sharp conflicts

January 26th, 1840. Hot temptation, fiery darts,
sharp conflicts. But Jesus is all-sufficient. In myself,
I am weaker than the weakest, and quite unable to
bear the present heart-aching anguish, or stand
against my traitorous foes. But in Christ, my Head,
I am even now a conqueror.


Amputate right hands

My own dear, precious Jesus, You are mine—there
is ecstasy in the thought! Amputate right hands,
pluck out right eyes, where You see needful. Love
will guide the knife, and, though I suffer, my spirit
cries, "Go on, dearest Lord—separate me from all
that keeps me from You! Give Yourself in close
communion—and all is well."

Pen cannot write it

April 8th, 1839. My Beloved has come again over
the mountains of my sin and guilt. I can now shout,
Victory, victory, through the blood of the Lamb! Oh,
the sweet, blessed visits my dear Lord pays me! Pen
cannot write it, tongue cannot utter it. Praise Him,
oh, praise Him!


This naughty, naughty flesh

March 27th, 1839. This naughty, naughty flesh is
here yet, and distressingly active; the dear Lord be
pleased to subdue it. Oh, my precious Savior, come
and conquer Your and my enemies. I want to be
Yours alone, without one wandering desire. But, ah!
it is not so. I need again the balsam of Your blood.


Monster & monument!

December 3rd, 1838. Arose this morning heavy and
sin-burdened—but favored at family worship with near
access, wrestling faith, and a sense of pardoning love.
Wonderful! wonderful! Who is a pardoning God like
You? "Truly, to the Lord our God belong forgivenesses,
though I have sinned against Him."

My naughty, carnal nature is very active today! What a
monster of iniquity—and a monument of mercy!

Surely I am, as the apostle says, am "example"—that
none may despair!

This saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance:
"Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners"—and I am
the worst of them! But I received mercy because of this, so
that in me, the worst of them, Christ Jesus might demonstrate
the utmost patience as an example to those who would believe
in Him for eternal life." 1 Timothy 1:15-16


Spirit-taught, Spirit-led, Spirit-fed

I want to be Spirit-taught, Spirit-led, Spirit-fed.

"For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children
 of God." Romans 8:14

"When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you
 into all the truth." John 16:13


I shall lie in cold and stupid apathy!

By reason of sinful yielding to worldly care, my mind
has been brought into guilt and darkness. May the
Lord deliver me—He alone can. May He bestow upon
me that penitent, broken heart which I desire—but
cannot procure.

In fact, I find I must come to Him for all:
  sorrow for sin,
  pardon for sin,
  cleansing from pollution,
  deliverance from a guilty conscience,
  and the renewal of peace through the
    application of atoning blood.

Yes even a longing desire for these things must be
given, or I shall lie in cold and stupid apathy!

So desperate is my case—one just fit for the
intervention of a glorious Christ! May He again
appear for me and to me. Ah! I do believe He
will—ungrateful wretch though I am!


Encrusted with earth and enveloped in carnality

November 8th, 1834. Much deadness of soul lately, and
much discovery of my extreme ignorance in Divine things.
I long exceedingly for the Holy Spirit's teaching. I am
sure He alone can reveal Jesus in my soul. To have my
understanding informed will not satisfy. I want to feed
upon Christ, to live upon Christ, to grow up into Christ,
and to be rooted in Christ, esteeming all things but
rubbish and dross for the excellency of the knowledge
of Him. Instead of which, day after day passes, and I
seem encrusted with earth and enveloped in
carnality.


A nail in the right place

The Lord knows how to put a nail in the right
place in the process of flesh crucifixion; namely,
through some carnal affection that is growing too
strong!

It will be inexpressibly painful to the flesh—but it
is possible for the spirit to bow in submission, and
see that it is in answer to prayer, while the flesh
is struggling and suffering.


Our happiness

We are mistaken in thinking that our happiness
in any measure depends on outward circumstances.

I know from experience, that, when favored with the
light of the Lord's countenance, and enjoying His smile
—I can be happy in the midst of trials and afflictions.
Why, then, so much anxiety about temporal things,
and so little concern about spiritual prosperity?

Pardon me, dear Lord, and enable me to put a
blank into your hands regarding outward things,
or You to fill up as You please.


I would not always live

My heart is hard and unfeeling. Lord, revive me!
I long to walk cheerfully in Your ways, enjoy daily
communion with You, and bring forth fruit to Your
glory. But begin to think I never shall, until I am
more dead to the world. I believe the indulgence
of a carnal spirit is the bane of my happiness. I
would not always live, at this poor dying rate!
 
Divine and Almighty Spirit, condescend to deal
with my poor dead soul! Enable me to . . .
  crucify the flesh,
  deny self,
  forsake the world, and
  be spiritually-minded.


The Christian warfare

July 19th, 1829. During the past week, I have been
led to see a little more of the nature of the Christian
warfare, and daily taking up the cross, than ever before.

It consists not merely in abstaining from those outward
transgressions which are obvious to the view of others;
but stedfastly resisting, in the strength of the Lord, those
inward corruptions which are daily and hourly striving for
mastery; and, also, in endeavoring to deny and subdue
those sins, which, from habit and constitution, are as dear
as a right hand, or a right eye. This is, indeed, a cross which
we ought to be carrying; the moment we lay it down, and
allow ourselves in any carnal indulgences, or sinful pleasure
—that moment we bring guilt upon our souls, and lose that
sweet peace, and serenity of mind, which is only found in
reconciliation to, and communion with God.

Whence arises this inconsistency?

October 10th, 1829. Most feelingly can I say with
the poet—"Strange and mysterious is my life—what
opposites I feel within!" For at times my whole mind
and soul seem absorbed in desires after spirituality,
and the enjoyment of the Divine presence; the world
sinks into insignificance, and its enjoyments and
pleasures lose their power to charm.

But soon, perhaps before one short day has passed
away, some temptation is presented suited to my
corrupt inclinations; and, catching the bait, I grovel
again in the dust, and give up my soul to the pursuit
of trifles! Whence arises this inconsistency? 

If I could writhe myself away from it

Again the Lord is proving to me the blessedness of
taking up the cross—and also how much I shrink
from it. I seek deliverance from the cross—but find
my Lord has put deliverance in it. If I could writhe
myself away from it, I would miss the blessing!

But when by His enablings it is taken up, there is
indeed a new song put into my mouth, even praise
to His name. The soul at such times seems to triumph
in Christ, something like Paul when reconciled to the
thorn in the flesh.

Indeed, I feel it good to be laid low, and kept low at
the feet of my precious Lord, though He is bringing it
about in ways most unexpected and undesired.

I am much longing for humility, and He is laying open
to me my pride by the painfulness I feel—in being made
nothing. Truly His ways and His thoughts are astonishing
—far above mine! His doings towards me are very wise
and awesome—and worthy of a God who gives no account
of His matters—but works all things after the counsel of
His own will, and all things for good to those who love
Him, and are the called according to His purpose.


If I had a thousand souls as black as hell

If I had a thousand souls as black as hell,
I would trust them all to the love, blood, and
righteousness of Emmanuel!

"He will save His people from their sins."
 Matthew 1:21


Our works are all broken and faulty

As long as we look to 'our evidences' for comfort,
we shall be full of disquiet, for we discover . . .
  such weakness in our faith,
  such wavering in our hope,
  such coldness in our love,
  yes, such shortcoming in everything,
that we cannot find here any rest for the sole
of our foot as regards spiritual confidence.

It must be all in Christ! "He is the rock, and
His work is perfect," while our works are all
broken and faulty. Oh! may the blessed Spirit
set your feet upon this Rock, and establish your
 goings there. May He enable you to make the
venture of faith, just as you are, with wants
and woes, sins and fears.

The bitten Israelites were not healed by looking
at their wounds—but at the brazen serpent, which
was a type of Christ. And so while you are poring
over your sins and yourself you will only sink lower.

May the blessed Spirit enable you to look forth
with the eye of faith to the Lamb slain, and to
come away from self and all besides—to Jesus.

Oh that I could so speak of the worthy Lamb as
to set your heart on fire with love to Him and
longing after Him! Adieu, dear friend. The Lord
bless you, and in His own time strengthen,
establish, and settle you.

With kind love in our adorable Emmanuel, I remain,
though most unworthy, yours affectionately,
Ruth Bryan


Casting all your care

"Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you."
    1 Peter 5:7

It is no honor to Jesus to be carrying your cares—which
must sink you into gloom and dejection. All your weight
of sins, sorrows, and cares the Burden-Bearer can sustain.

So whatever be your case, there is a remedy in Jesus,
which the blessed Spirit will bring home and apply,
causing you to sing that dear wilderness song, "He
restores my soul!"


Each bitter in our cup

"The rod and reproof give wisdom." Proverbs 29:15

All the ways of the Lord are right ways, and we lose
much sweetness for lack of resignation to His will in
all things. While we fret against the cross, it is felt
the heavier. I believe, too, that we are losers by not
receiving all events as from Him. By looking at
second causes we come into great perplexity;
and whatever creatures may intend against us, our
Heavenly Father has some high purpose of grace in
all that He allows to befall us. He could prevent every
wrong, and He would, were not each bitter in our
cup essential for His own glory and our real profit!

The assurance of this has been very healing to my
spirit many times under blights and losses, and also
under mental wounds from those dear to me. I feel
there is some personal lesson in all these things!
And often, when I would have felt ready to censure
'the instrument', I have discovered some pride or
other lurking evil in myself, which the Lord aimed
at by the troubling circumstance, intending by His
Spirit to bring it to light and rebuke it. Thus has my
mouth been stopped, and brought to kiss the hand
which held the rod, however inexcusable in itself
that rod might be.

Also, when the heart is thus humbled, the wrong of
others against us seems but secondary to our own,
albeit ours may be against the Lord only. Oh, let us
seek to be so instructed of the Lord that the rod and
reproof may give wisdom. Let us aim at confiding
love in Him, for He is infinite wisdom—and needs
none of our interference.

Plagued by my unamiabilities!

July 20th, 1843.
Outward circumstances still tending downwards.
The Lord teach us to descend, and make us willing
to come as low as He pleases.

How am I plagued by my unamiabilities! Surely very
few of the Lord’s people ever dwelt in such a crusty piece
of flesh; and few were ever more painfully aware of it, or
loathed themselves more completely. I would be what I
am not; and do what I do not. How can the Lord Jesus
be honored in this matter? Is it possible?

I long to find in Him the remedy of this malady, the healing
of this malignant sore—my  unkind and selfish self. Oh that
I could "glory in my infirmities, that His power may rest upon
me," and be manifest in me. Methinks, if precious Jesus might
be honored in the cure, it would be better than being whole in
myself. But what if He sees fit I should not be cured? and will
be glorified by my bearing the hated part of my disposition all
my life? Then it is a grief, and I must bear it. But, Lord, "if You
will, You can make me whole." Would it not honor You to subdue
myself? You only know what I feel, and how I groan and mourn,
that I do not honor You more in my exterior. "Lord, if You will,
You can." Do speak to me on this subject. I inquire of You, "What
will You have me to do?" Let faith go out upon You, my unseen
Deliverer, for a yet unfelt deliverance. That I am not more
amiable, in myself, will be well, if You will gain glory thereby—
Yourself being manifested, and I subdued, and kept out of sight.



Something infinitely better

It is only 'Christ enjoyed', which can loosen our hold
of things seen, and of those earthly attractions which
have long entwined themselves around the heart—for
then we have found something infinitely better.



Oh that holy, loving face!

My beloved friend,
My main object in writing was to give you a word
which melted my heart from Isaiah 50, a favorite
chapter of mine, and in reading which our precious
Lord showed Himself lovingly through the following
verse: "I gave My back to those who beat Me, and
My cheeks to those who tore out My beard. I did
not hide My face from scorn and spitting!"

No, He would hide us—by not hiding Himself!

He would be smitten—that by His stripes we
might be healed.

Our living balm-tree would have the fearful
incisions in His own flesh, that His balsamic
virtues might flow out to our diseased souls.

Our well of Bethlehem was opened on Calvary.
There may we poor sinners be gathered today,
and clustering round His cross, drink freely of
the best wine, drink away our sloth, and drink
until we are wide awake in holy diligence,
seeking for more of the living stream, and so
feeding upon Him experimentally, live by Him.

Oh that holy, loving face, not hidden from such
indignities for our sakes! I wonder and adore!

May your meditation of Him be sweet, and may
He bring His prisoner the bread and the wine.

Your warmly-affectionate,
Ruth

Like a honey-drop into the soul

My beloved friend,
I wonder if you got a new-year's portion yesterday.
Last night, while seeking Jesus, these words came
to my mind with sweetness: "The soul of the diligent
shall be made fat." (Proverbs 13:4) Therefore I
conclude they are to be my motto for the new year.

I feel them to be very reproving to my sluggish heart;
but there is such sweetness in the mouth of our Beloved,
that even a reproof from His dear lips falls like a
honey-drop into the soul. Oh may the blessed Spirit
inspire us with true spiritual diligence which brings us
to more than wishes and desires; for we may possess
'wishes and desires' and be slothful still. "The soul of
the sluggard desires and has nothing." "Diligent hands
will rule—but laziness ends in slave labor"—under slavery
to the world and the flesh, instead of in the liberty of the
Spirit. Gracious Lord, do make us diligent, and keep us
so by the renewings of the Holy Spirit.



Starving on the husks of SELF!

"For if the ministry of condemnation had glory,
 the ministry of righteousness overflows with
 even more glory!" 2 Corinthians 3:9

The ministry of condemnation was glorious, when
it pleased the Lord to bruise Him. But the ministry
of righteousness exceeds in glory—when the blessed
Spirit brings near His righteousness, yes, puts it on
the soul, saying, "Bring forth the best robe, and put
it on him!" It is also exceedingly glorious when the
righteous Father welcomes the prodigal with the
kiss of everlasting love, being well pleased for
Jesus' righteousness' sake; and when "the Lord
our righteousness sees of the travail of His soul
and is satisfied," saying, "You are all beautiful,
my love! There is no spot in you!"

Then also is the poor soul richly satisfied, saying,
"In the Lord I have righteousness and strength!"
"I will make mention of your righteousness, even
of yours alone."

This is, indeed, a glorious ministry of righteousness,
and is part of the abundance of Your house, my King
and my God.

Here is food for hungry souls who have long been
starving on the husks of SELF! And here is
clothing for the naked soul, who has been into
the "stripping-room," and had the filthy rags, and
all the adornments of self stripped off!

O my precious friend, it is a mercy to be made and
kept poor enough for Jesus to be all. In the midst
of our own felt poverty, may we be content to have
nothing in self, yet possess all things in Christ!



Glories, beauties, and excellencies

"You feed them from the abundance of Your own house,
 letting them drink from Your rivers of delight!" Psalm 36:8

Much-beloved in Jesus,
Though we have had so many feasts upon a precious
Jesus, we find each time as much freshness as though
we had never partaken before! This has been very striking
to me. Things of earth often repeated grow stale—but the
same view of a precious Jesus a thousand times over is
ever new! How often has the Divine Spirit testified in our
souls "of the sufferings of Christ—and the glory that
would follow." How often have we by faith beheld His
bloody sweat in the garden, and spent sweet solemn
moments at the foot of the Cross!

Yet, when Jesus shows Himself again to us in either of
those sacred positions—is He not as a lamb newly slain?
And is not His sacrifice a sweet smelling aroma—as
fragrant as though but just offered, without spot unto
God? Oh yes, He is ever the same—without sameness
—and will be to all eternity! The glories, beauties, and
excellencies of His person are infinite! And from these
boundless sources our finite minds will be feasted forever
and ever!

Oh that my poor contracted heart were more enlarged
into this our fathomless ocean of love and loveliness!

Oh to abide in Him forever!

Spring showers

"May He be like rain that falls on the cut grass,
 like spring showers that water the earth."
    Psalm 72:6

Much-beloved in Jesus,
This verse also has been very sweet to me—and
I trust it has been fulfilled in my dry soul. How
welcome the showers on the dry land, or on the
mown grass! The waters from our smitten rock
run in His dry places like a river. May the Lord
grant us daily the renewings of the Holy Spirit,
and cause His Word to do us good like a medicine,
that we may be kept from a dry, barren spirit;
though feeling that in ourselves we are very dry.

May the blessed Spirit exalt Jesus more and more
in our experience, that all our casting down, may
be for His lifting up!

With much tender love, your warmly-affectionate
but unworthy,
Ruth



In the eye of a sin-sick soul

"I have asked one thing from the Lord; it is
 what I desire: to dwell in the house of the
 Lord all the days of my life, gazing on the
 beauty of the Lord and seeking Him in His
 temple." (Psalm 27:4)

Christ is our true temple.

In Him we may inquire of the Lord concerning
all our hard cases—and have an answer of peace.
In Him we see the beauty of the Lord, even all
His Divine attributes harmonizing and glorified
in saving poor sinners! This is seeing the King
in His beauty! And beauty indeed it is, in the
eye of a sin-sick soul—to see the holy Jehovah
"a just God, and a Savior" too. He was most just
in punishing our sin in Jesus! He is most just also
in letting us go free! Yes, accepting us in the
Beloved!

The high towers of SELF

The notes you sent me of the sermon about Jacob
were very nice. The expression "unselfing" was
striking. Do you not think that the revealing of
Christ to the soul, is the quickest of all means to
effect this? John says, "When I saw Him I fell at His
feet as dead"—typical of the bringing down of self.

I do humbly believe that the more we know Him
in union, love, and power—the more zealous we
shall be against "self" in all its varied forms.

Unbelief sets up self—what I do, what I do not do,
what I ought to have done, and so on—until there
is only a corner in the thoughts for the dear
Substitute, who has done all, and done it well too!

But the more we receive of Him and His—or, in
other words, the more Christ alone is exalted,
the high towers of SELF are laid in the dust!

When unbelief and self are predominant it is sad
work. May the Lord tread these abominations under
His feet, even as straw is trodden down for the ash
heap. Oh! my beloved friend, we long for the days
of the Son of man in our souls, for in His days the
righteous flourish!

Oh! let us cry mightily for the Spirit of wisdom and
revelation in the knowledge of Jesus. Oh! to know Him
more. Oh! that He always would eclipse everything else!

I have seen enough in Jesus to ravish my heart, and
make the brightest things below look dim! But I want
to see Him again, for I know that there are in Him
infinite glories of which I have had yet no conception!
"After these things Jesus showed himself again to His
disciples." Amen, so let it be!

The Lord bless you and yours; and may Jesus shine
warmly in your heart!

With dear love, ever your affectionate but unworthy,
Ruth


What degradation!

"Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law,
 being made a curse for us: for it is written—Cursed
 is everyone who hangs on a tree!" Galatians 3:13

Much-beloved friend,
I had a sweet season at the Lord's table yesterday.
My soul was touched to see my precious Jesus, the
Lord of glory—in all His suffering circumstances; to
see Him crowned with the curse, nailed on the tree
of curse, and that between two thieves. What
degradation! Oh! I could hardly bear it! "They
shall look upon Him whom they have pierced, and
they shall mourn for Him." It is very humbling—but
very sweet to meditate on the deep humiliation of
that royal Sufferer! There it is that . . .
  hope springs up,
  mercy breaks out, and
  love flows to a vile sinner like me!

In the warm love of our unchanging Friend
and Lord, ever yours most affectionately,
Ruth—a debtor to mercy and love.


No lower charms

"He is altogether lovely! This is my Lover, this
 my Friend!" Song of Songs 5:16

Having once beheld the beauty of Jesus—no
lower charms can satisfy. No other object
fill the vacuum in our soul. Oh "Come quickly,
my love! Move like a swift gazelle or a young
deer on the mountains of spices!" (Song 8:14)

Judged, condemned and executed!

Much-loved and tenderly-remembered friend,
I have this morning much enjoyed those words,
"I will sing of mercy and judgment: unto You,
O Lord, will I sing." (Psalm 101:1)

Judgment to JESUS, and mercy to vile worthless ME!
Mercy flowing warmly through His pierced heart and
precious veins. What a channel wherein to flow!

Oh! what love of our Father to lay upon Him all our
iniquities, to number Him with the transgressors, and
then to give Him judgment without mercy, saving all
the mercy for us rebellious younger children!

Oh! what a loving Elder Brother, who for the joy of
our release and blessing, was content to be judged,
condemned and executed!

And what a blessed Comforter who takes of these
wonders and reveals them to the soul, making it to
sing for joy! "Awake and sing, you who dwell in dust."

At times we do sadly cleave to the dust; but the power
of His love revives us again, causing us to awake and sing!

And now adieu. Soon the shadows of time will be past,
and we, through free grace, shall spend eternity together
in the open vision of the Lamb!

In Him, your own warmly-affectionate,
Ruth

The deep red sea

His love for His people does not cool in the least,
in the midst of all our treacherous dealings. "Once
again He will have compassion on us. He will trample
our sins under His feet and throw them into the
depths of the ocean!"—having cast all our sins into
the deep red sea of His own blood! "Where sin
abounded, grace did much more abound!" And
again we shall sing of pardoning mercy and
restoring love!

Take courage. The precious blood of Jesus is more
powerful for us—than sin, flesh, and all the foes
against us. Whether at your worst, or at your best,
do not be looking more at yourself than at Jesus.
He is the way of escape, and He is the strength to
endure; and we shall be helped in all, though we
sometimes faint.

Warm love from the weakest and worst of all,
your very affectionate,
Ruth
 

The endless, blissful theme

There are heights and depths in the love of Christ
of which the most favored have no conception. And
there are beauties and glories in His person which
none have yet beheld! Oh! I would have none rest
short of the revelation of His person. His benefits
indeed are all precious: His atoning blood and sacrifice,
His justifying righteousness, and the effects flowing
therefrom—pardon, justification, peace in the
conscience, etc., etc.

But it is a further and sweeter privilege to know and
enjoy Himself! Salvation is sweet—but the Savior
crowns all!

I must cease, though I seem to have said nothing
of the endless, blissful theme—the love and
loveliness of our dear Redeemer, the Redeemer of
worms. May He favor you with His precious presence!

"May you experience the love of Christ, though
 it is so great you will never fully understand it!"
    Ephesians 3:19

As Jesus is exalted in the soul

"He must increase, but I must decrease." John 3:30

As Jesus is exalted in the soul, self is abased.

Most ardently do I long to grow in willingness to be
poor in self, that I may be learning experimentally
more of His unsearchable riches—who will be all or
nothing.

To His praise I must confess, that the more I am taken
up with Him, the more blessedly do I realize His grace
to be sufficient for me—and that amidst many trials and
temptations, and through all the plague of indwelling sin.

I find sin is more subdued by looking at Him, rather
than looking at it; because our Father has laid all our
help upon this mighty One.

 

A lily among thorns

"Who is this coming up from the wilderness,
 leaning on her beloved?" Song of Songs 8:5

"Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest
 is my lover among the young men. I delight to sit
 in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste."
    Song of Songs 2:3

"Like a lily among thorns is my darling among
 the maidens." Song of Songs 2:2

I trust that you are coming up from the wilderness
leaning upon your Beloved. He is the 'apple tree'
among the trees of the forest; while His Bride is
the 'lily among thorns'.

With me it has been emptying from vessel to vessel,
and finding plenty of dregs. I am willing to suffer
anything—so that the wood, hay, and stubble may
be consumed, and Christ be all.

I commend you to the Brother born for adversity.
May He draw you near to Himself, and open His
stores of love.

With much tender love, your ever affectionate,
Ruth



All that we need

"The unsearchable riches of Christ!" Ephes. 3:8

Oh! what free love, free grace, free mercy flows
to poor sinners through the bleeding heart of a
crucified Savior—all without money and without
price! It is wine and milk indeed. Whatever crooks
and twists I find in self, creatures, or circumstances
—Jesus is always my only remedy, and in Him I
discover something just to fit my case.  All that
we need is treasured up in Jesus!



A loathsome object

Self is, indeed, a loathsome object, and all
its words and deeds have a very ill savor; but
Jesus is our place of refuge from it all.
The fountain of His blood,
the robe of His righteousness,
the arm of His power, and
the bosom of His love
just suit us as we travel through this dreary,
dusty desert, encumbered with "the body of
this death." And so while one makes us groan,
the other makes us sing, "Thanks be unto God,
through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Farewell, my
dear friend. Soon will the shadows of time flee
away—and we shall see our Beloved face to face!

With much warm love in Him, I remain,
your ever affectionate but unworthy,
Ruth


A man to stand in the gap

I have been enjoying Jesus through Ezekiel 22:30-31—
"I searched for a man to stand in the gap in the wall
so I wouldn't have to destroy the land, but I found no one.
So now I will pour out my fury on them, consuming them
in the fire of My anger. I will heap on them the full penalty
for all their sins, says the Sovereign Lord."

A man was sought for to stand in the gap; but none being
found, the indignation and wrath came upon the guilty party.
It must fall somewhere—God's judgment must be executed!

But mark the contrast. For us a Man is found! He comes forth
from the invisibility of Jehovah, and in the likeness of man
undertakes our cause. He saw there was no other, therefore
He said, "Here am I, send Me!" And in the fullness of time
He came and stood in the gap, and filled up the breach
in the law; and on His holy head fell our storm of wrath and
punishment! Thus He became our covert and hiding-place!

Those love-prints

"Your eyes shall see the King in His beauty."
    Isaiah 33:17

O my glorious Christ, what will it be to see You, face
to face, in Your own light—and be absorbed in Your love!

This is the climax of love's anticipations; these are the
mountains of myrrh and hills of frankincense—even His
perfections, His glory, and His transporting charms!

Oh! methinks how riveted I shall be; eternal ages will
roll on, but still my eyes and heart will have room for
no other object but for Him, who died for my sake,
but is alive again—my Lord, my life, my all!

Those love-prints in His hands, and feet, and side; that
precious body broken for you and for me; I shall behold!
I shall gaze upon them; and from the scars of those once
bleeding wounds, unutterable radiations of glory will beam
forth forever!



The sacrifice of Himself!

"But now He has appeared one time, at the
 end of the ages, for the removal of sin by
 the sacrifice of Himself!" Hebrews 9:26

These rich words still follow me.

That word "sin" feels weighty to a sensible
sinner. But oh! that word "Himself!" seems
a million times more weighty!

"Himself!" the mighty God, the precious Man Christ Jesus!

"Himself!" by whom all things were created,
and for whom they exist!

"Himself!" whose smile is heaven, whose frown is hell!

"Himself!" whom all angels worship, and all devils obey!

"Himself!" the sacrifice!

Another such sacrifice could not be found! Sins deep
as hell and high as heaven cannot overmatch it, for it
is infinite! Sins of scarlet and crimson dye cannot resist
its power, for it makes them whiter than snow!

See as as much as you can of the vileness of self, and
the demerit of sin—yet "Himself!" a bleeding sacrifice,
exceeds it all! Here is the sweet-smelling savor, or savor
of rest, both to the Lawgiver and the lawbreaker. The
Lawgiver is honored, the lawbreaker is saved!

See how He stands most lovingly, as with open arms,
saying to every laboring, weary, heavy-laden sinner,
"Come!" "Come unto Me, and I will give you rest!"
"I still receive sinners, to the uttermost I save them,
and never am weary of healing their backslidings,
forgiving all their iniquities, and multiplying pardons
as they multiply transgressions against Me. I blot all
out with My blood, and love them freely and forever!"

Sinner, will not this suffice? It will if the Spirit applies
it—and opens in a little measure Himself and His sacrifice
in contrast to yourself and your sins. It will take eternity
to know it fully; but that your heart may find rest and
refreshing in it now, is my affectionate prayer.

"But now He has appeared one time, at the
 end of the ages, for the removal of sin by
 the sacrifice of Himself!" Hebrews 9:26



This snare of the great fowler!

This is a day of much lip-profession without real heart
work. "The kingdom of God is not in word, but in power."
"The kingdom of God is within you." This is what Satan
seems in this day to be most fighting against. He does
not oppose 'a general profession of religion', which is
now deemed respectable. Nor does he mind great
strictness in outward religious forms—as that is often
a means of lulling the conscience into false peace. He
will not even disturb a sound creed, and much zeal in
contending for the truth of the Bible—so long as the
truths rest only in the natural mind, whereby they
induce vain confidence and terrible self-deceiving!

The great enemy of souls will endeavor to keep all in
peace who have 'a name to live, but are dead.' And if
one of his subjects passes over either from gross sins
or from the more refined pleasures of this perishing
world to an 'outward profession'—he will not be
alarmed. For he cares not whether souls perish under
the title of 'worldling' or of 'Christian'—so long as he
gets them into his own fearful damnation.

Nay, I believe if he sees one become restless under
some sense of sin, and that he cannot urge that poor
soul on further in the old sinful way—he will transform
himself into an angel of light, and recommend reformation
and external religious duties, such as reading and hearing
the Word—taking care to substitute the 'form' for 'power'.

Oh! the dreadful danger of such souls, soothed into carnal
security! They are only blinded to their danger—not delivered
from it. Better were it to endure years of anguish in weeping,
and seeking for mercy by Jesus Christ—than to be turned to
such "a refuge of lies," and to walk in such "sparks of their
own kindling." Better to walk in sorrow all one's life—than to
lie down in sorrow at death to end in eternal woe! May the
Lord deliver souls thus deceived from this snare of the
great fowler, so that they may thankfully say, "The snare
is broken, and we are escaped" by Divine power into that
kingdom of God which is not outward things, such food and
drink—but righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.

Ah! my beloved friend, it is this stronghold which Satan
fights against—and fallen flesh is in league with him!
He may tolerate outward forms and external religious
exercises—but inward power is represented as contemptible,
unreasonable, and is called fanaticism and enthusiasm! Yet
without this divine life within, no soul of man can be saved,
as the great day shall declare. It is, indeed, fearful to think
what that dreadful day will reveal; and of all characters, I
think those are in the most fearful condition—who have had
Christ on the lip—but not in the heart, as in Matt. 7:21-23.

True it is, that our vigilant foe does not mind a new creed
—but he hates a new heart! He does not object to outward
reformation—but hates inward regeneration. He does not fear
good words of prayer on the lip—but he well knows he shall
suffer loss when it is said of a soul, "Behold, he prays;" for,
"Satan trembles when he sees
 The weakest saint upon his knees."

O you trembling souls, let not the subtle serpent drive you
from this stronghold! Your God will hear and help you!



What can be weaker than a worm?

What can be weaker than a worm? Yet the
Lord says, "Do not be afraid, O worm Jacob, O
little Israel, for I myself will help you—declares
the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.
I am holding you by your right hand—I, the Lord
your God. And I say to you—Do not be afraid. I
am here to help you." "But now, O Israel, the Lord
who created you says—Do not be afraid, for I have
ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are
mine. When you go through deep waters and great
trouble, I will be with you. When you go through
rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you
walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be
burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I
am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel,
your Savior!" These are sweet cordials for a
time of weakness and trial.
(Isaiah 41:13, 14; 43:1-3)



Drops of Divine love in this bitter cup

"The more they were afflicted, the more they
 multiplied and grew." Exodus 1:12

Often, indeed, is it thus with the spiritual seed of
Abraham, being "chastened by the Lord" there is
growth out of SELF—into Christ! Blessed is it when
we turn away from every creature expectation,
and pour out our hearts before Him. The Lord
grant you like experience, that with me you may
say, "It is good for me that I have been afflicted!"

My heart earnestly desires for you that the present
afflictive dispensation, may be very much sanctified,
that the Lord's name may be glorified, and you come
forth as gold, saying, "I know, O Lord, that in faithfulness
You have afflicted me;" and heartily choosing, as Moses
did, "to suffer affliction with the people of God, rather
than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season."

"For though our cup seems mixed with gall,
 There's something secret sweetens all."

Is it not so? Have you not found some drops of Divine
love in this bitter cup? May the Beloved further show
Himself through this lattice, and walk with you in this
furnace, causing some fetters to be burned off—that
you may freely walk in the way of His commandments.
It is better to walk with Jesus in the fire, than
to walk after the flesh in the slippery places of worldly
indulgence and carnal security. I trust He has special
favor towards you, and means to have you walk very
closely with Himself. Would that I could speak more
worthily of our precious Well-Beloved—who may safely
be trusted in the flood and in the flame! Praise Him,
O our souls! Adieu, much-beloved!

Your very affectionately,
Ruth



Longing for these royal dainties!

In the precious Name which is above every name, I
come to inquire—Is it well with you? Does the vine
flourish, and the tender grape appear? (Song 6:11)
and do you find the savor of the Beloved's ointments
give a very good fragrance? Is Jesus increasingly
precious, more than ever desirable? Is He, in your
esteem, better than rubies, and all the things that
may lawfully be desired not to be compared to Him?
Is the Holy Spirit sharpening your appetite for this
Bread of Life, so that with more ardent longings you
are saying, "None but Jesus!"

When He is in the right place, other things will be so;
it is His rising in the soul that makes them sink to their
proper level. And oh! He is so worthy, so suitable, so
altogether lovely—we cannot prize Him too much,
or hold Him too fast, or lean on Him too heavily!

My highest praise of Him is far below His worth; but
through rich grace, I, a vile sinner, have tasted and
handled of this precious Word of life, and found such
blessed benefit, such soul-invigoration, that I want to
set others longing for these royal dainties!

Satan is ever striving to divert the mind from this
blessed Object. He will allure or alarm, he will use
what is pleasing or painful—anything to keep the
soul from delighting in Jesus, and looking unto Him.
Nevertheless, all those who are ordained unto eternal
life shall believe in spite of his efforts; and all those in
eternal union with Christ, shall close with Him by living
faith. Cords of love shall entwine, and ropes of kindness
shall draw—until the poor soul is brought into conscious
union with the Beloved, and can say, "He loved me,
and gave Himself for me!"



He is very precious

"Yes, He is very precious to you who believe!"
    1 Peter 2:7

I greet you affectionately in that dear name which,
when breathed into the soul by the Holy Spirit, is
truly precious. Precious indeed He is, but not to the
carnal mind; to such He has no loveliness, no beauty,
that they should desire Him. There must be . . .
  spiritual life,
  spiritual sight, and
  spiritual appetite,
before a glorious Christ can be appreciated in His
preciousness and suitability!



Our Champion!

Truly it makes my heart glow to see Jesus as our
Champion on the battlefield, vanquishing our foes . . .
  Satan,
  sin,
  the world,
  our old man,
  and death itself!
They have all been so overcome by our spiritual David,
that they shall never be the destruction of the least
lamb in His flock. The lion and the bear may come out
together against them, and seem just ready to devour;
but He will arise, smite the beasts of prey, deliver His
trembling one, and none shall pluck it out of His hand!

This is precious consolation to such as feel they
have no might at all, and feel, too . . .
  the world drawing,
  Satan tempting,
  sin striving, and
  the flesh lusting.

Oh, what would we do at such times if we had not
One to fight for us, and fight in us too! We would
certainly be "swallowed up quick." But the Lord has
laid help upon "One who is mighty;" and this mighty
One who is for us, is more than all who  can be against
us. What makes it so beautiful is, that He Himself is
our very strength and victory; so that our weakness
and inability are no hindrance at all. Of this one of old
was so well convinced, that he exclaimed, "When I am
weak, then am I strong." What a paradox to carnal
reason! and how long we are learning this lesson
perfectly, by reason of the working of our carnality
and self-love!

He plunges us in the ditch!

Our Father has determined that Christ shall be all,
and we nothing. To accomplish this experimentally,
He undoes our work. When we have been washing
with soap, He plunges us in the ditch! When we
seem to be getting on a little better than usual, He
turns us upside down. This is hard work, and while
the process is going on, we think it must be for
destruction, for we appear to grow worse
and worse! But in truth it is for salvation—
 to show ourselves to ourselves,
 to bring us to forsake ourselves,
 and to give us Christ, instead of ourselves.

Oh, what a blessed exchange!

It is worth being spoiled in all the labor of our
hands, and marred in our very best things—to
possess such a treasure!

There can be no drinking of the 'living waters' while
we have a price in our hand, be it much or little.
There can be no buying the gospel wine and milk
while we have any money. There can be no triumphing
in "the Lord our righteousness," while we are hunting
about for shreds of our own, and sewing them together.

All this is Christ-rejecting and God-dishonoring!

Therefore be not cast down at the Lord's ways towards
you, for if we are anything, or have anything—Jesus
cannot be everything. And if He is not everything, He
is nothing. He must be all—
  for holiness,
  for happiness,
  for justification,
  for sanctification,
  for acceptable appearing before God,
  for suitable walking before men,
  for holy living,
  for happy dying.

In short, our Father has "blessed us with all
spiritual blessings in Him." And the reason
we do not enjoy them more is because we
seek them in ourselves! Oh to have the single
eye which looks at Jesus only! Then would our
whole body be "full of light."

But thus to venture right away from self is a
venture indeed—and can only be done by the
power of the Holy Spirit.



Mountains of the blackest guilt

Jesus is such a Savior, so mighty and so merciful,
that mountains of the blackest guilt may be
safely trusted with Him—His rich atoning blood
will cleanse from all!

Jesus has gathered up all the inherent and actual
sin of His people, and thrown it into the ocean of
redeeming blood, where it sinks like lead in the
mighty waters, and never shall rise to condemn
them to death.

"You will trample our sins under your feet and throw
 them into the depths of the ocean!" Micah 7:19

In due time He enables faith to do the same thing,
to keep casting the felt and hated filth of sin into
the Red Sea of His precious blood.